Beautiful Disaster
by LilweenGalatrass
Summary: He has known her since middle-school and they've always competed against each other. No one else could light a fire as bright as she did within him, but something between them remained untold. Graduated from high-school, studying at the university and on the National team, Kuroo Tetsurou never thought he'd have the one girl that drove him crazy back in his life. KurooxOC
1. Prologue

_I had promised a Kuroo fanfic and here it is! It starts after high-school, in his first year of studying and follows the events of Sowlmates and Quiet Voice. I suggest you read these two stories to know some of the OC and already established couples + the already existing History between Kuroo and Akane._

 _I'm warning you that it'll be perhaps darker than the other fanfics, and mostly, more intense. There will be a lot of explicitly described NSFW content - because Kuroo, duh - so be ready for it because unlike the other stories I won't put balises every time it happens (only a warning at hte begining of the chapter)._

 _I hope you'll like this story as much as the others~_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER I : Prologue

" _But there's a beginning in an end, you know? It's true that you can't reclaim what you had, but you can lock it up behind you. Start fresh."_

― **Alexandra Bracken, The Darkest Minds**

" _People are icebergs, with just a bit you can see and loads you can't."_

— **David Mitchell**

" _I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else."_

— **The Smiths, "How Soon Is Now," Meat Is Murder**

" _People change and forget to tell each other."_

— **Lillian Hellman**

Kuroo Tetsurou glanced around his new, tiny place. A small studio apartment in Tokyo but it was the first time he was renting his own place so he was particularly proud of it. Graduated from high-school, he was now ready to continue the next step of his life: university. Plus, volleyball.

He could never stop volleyball and after pondering for some time whether or not he'd continue professionally volleyball, with the little push from his friends, he decided to continue. Like Bokuto Koutarou, his friend from Fukurodani Academy, Kuroo received a sponsorship from the Kanemoto Group. He would follow the same adapted program from the association between the University of Tokyo and the Kanemoto Group: pro-athletes who wanted to ensure their future with diplomas could follow a special program of classes adapted to their practice and training so they could keep up with both.

Bokuto was worried to not be able to keep up – he was studying History. Kuroo wasn't that scared – he had spent three years of high-school with volleyball practice everyday all the while keeping his grades up in a college preparatory class. He was used to little sleep and lots of hard studying.

Kuroo's choice of field of study in the University of Tokyo was his other passion after volleyball: Sciences. More precisely, he'll study Biophysical Chemistry in the Department of Applied Biological Science.

With the help of his friends and mother, he had moved in his studio apartment and for the first time in hours, he could have a good look at his place. Filled with boxes. He was considering starting to open them and organizing everything in its right place but his stomach growled and he decided that lunch was more urgent.

Grabbing his new keys, he exited the little apartment from a building complex with mostly students living there. He arrived in a hall that would lead to the stairs and elevator – there were wide glassless windows to let fresh air and light come into the hall. He advanced towards the elevator, glancing at his next door's neighbor and seeing piles of boxes left there – probably because more were coming. Seemed like he wasn't the only student moving in.

Just as he reached the stairs because he was too lazy to wait for the elevator, the elevator doors opened.

"Oya!" He exclaimed when someone stepped out hurriedly, holding two big boxes over her frail arms.

"I'm sorry!" The girl exclaimed after realizing she had almost killed someone, completely hidden by her boxes.

"Let me help you," Kuroo proposed.

He didn't wait for the girl's answer and grabbed the box at the top, immediately relieving on the weight she had to carry. They both looked up with smiles.

"Thank y–"

Kuroo froze in the same time as the girl he had just helped out – he recognized instantly this face he had known for the last six years. Short black hair, deep brown eyes with a reddish hue, behind round glasses. Saito Akane.

Seeing the _one_ person they had considered a rival for six years for _everything_ , constantly competing and much too proud to _ever_ admit defeat… they both reacted in the same way in the same time. The shock made them drop the boxes that landed at their feet. They ignored the sound of something breaking in one of a box, staring at each other in a mix of disbelief and dread. Disbelief they'd meet _now_ that they were finally graduated from high-school and dread because they had a pretty good idea of _why_ they'd end up facing each other on the same floor of the apartments complex.

 _No_. Was the only thought they (unknowingly) shared.


	2. New Beginnings

_As usual I post the prologue + first chapter._

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER II : New Beginnings

" _I'm a very private person. You don't ask, I don't tell."_

— **Unknown**

" _We try so hard to hide everything we're really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most."_

— **Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday**

" _Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go, with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly."_

— **Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre**

" _When we met again, there was this electrifying spark– and it was dangerous, because we both knew that the other felt it, too."_

— **Unknown**

" _A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, but a beautiful woman with a brain is an absolutely lethal combination."_

— **Prabal Gurung**

" _She was the kind of person who took care of things by herself. She'd never ask anybody for advice or help. It wasn't a matter of pride, I think. She just did what seemed natural to her."_

— **Haruki Murakami**

" _Fire will attract more attention than any other cry for help."_

— **Jean-Michel Basquiat**

" _No one can hate you more than someone who used to love you."_

― **Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus**

" _You_ … Saito Akane…" Kuroo Tetsurou hissed, an annoyed vein popping at his forehead.

The same look of irritation and total disdain appeared on the girl's face as her lips trembled, holding back a wave of insults.

"Kuroo Tetsurou…" She said, her tone sheathing.

"What are you doing here?!" They both asked in the same time, leaning towards each other out of annoyance.

"I asked first!" Kuroo exclaimed.

"No, _I_ did!"

" _I did_ – what the hell are you doing here?!" He continued.

"I'm moving _in_ – isn't it _obvious_ , dumb cat?!" Saito exclaimed, pointing at the boxes at her feet, "What are _you_ doing here?!"

Tetsurou gritted his teeth and glanced over his shoulder at the piles of boxes:

"Apartment 406?" He asked, even if his voice sounded strained.

"…Don't tell me…" She continued, closing her eyes in desperation.

"Apartment 407 is me, _yeah_ …" He mumbled, shoulders dropping in defeat.

They stared at each other, gazes clashing.

They remembered all six years they spent competing, mostly about their grades and their results. Whenever they'd cross paths, they'd start arguing, or insulting, or pissing off each other, or competing. They always ended up in the same class and were the two fighting over the best results in every field. It had become even worse since high-school and _now_ … they had to be neighbors. They literally shared the _same wall_.

The one thing they competed over most was Science. They both loved Science and were the best of their classes in these subjects – they were willing to leave the podium of best of classes to others in Literature subjects but NOT Science subjects. For Science, it was a personal matter between Tetsurou and Akane and _everyone_ knew _not_ to get in their way or they'd get fried.

If Kuroo lived here because it was close to the University of Tokyo, it probably meant…

"University of Tokyo?" Akane asked, reaching the same conclusions as him.

"…Faculty of Science," he answered suspiciously.

"Damn it!" She exclaimed, stomping her foot on the floor, "You _had_ to choose the same university as me, didn't you?!"

" _Excuse me!_ I chose the university I preferred! Not MY fault if you ended up in the same university – and faculty!" He retorted.

"I thought you were becoming a volleyball pro or something!"

"I do that too! I do _both_ but I can't bet everything on volleyball either!" He exclaimed.

Something close to 'impressed' that he'd study _and_ practice to be pro seemed to appear on Akane's face but as soon as it had appeared, before Tetsurou could acknowledge this expression, she erased it with a shake of her head.

"What do you study? _Please_ , don't say 'Department of Applied Biological Science'…" She asked, sounding pleading.

With no answer other than the look of slow agony on his face, it was explicit enough for her to have her answer.

"Area of Biochemistry?" She hissed, closing her eyes.

"Biophysics…" He said, huffing.

They eyed each other. They'd have classes in common but they weren't in the same area. It was _at least_ that.

"Stay out of my way." She said disdainfully, arms crossed under her breasts.

"You definitely don't have to worry about that," he said with a bad smirk.

"Good."

"Good." He agreed.

They promptly looked away from each other and suddenly, it was as if the other didn't exist. Kuroo punched the elevator button while Saito grabbed a box and started to advance towards apartment 406.

Testurou _tried_ to ignore her but as soon as she was a few meters away, his anger recessed and he glanced on his left. He saw her trying to keep up her box by lifting up her knee all the while struggling to her studio apartment. Did she bring up all of these boxes on her own? She didn't have anyone to help her out?

"Tch…" He muttered.

The elevator's doors opened but he leaned down and grabbed the box he had dropped earlier. He half-hoped the broken thing wasn't in this box – he'd feel guilty otherwise and he didn't want of such a feeling for Saito Akane….

Akane turned around and jumped away suspiciously, eying Kuroo while he carried her last box.

"What are you doing?" She asked, mistrustful.

"I may dislike you but I'm not enough of an asshole to let a girl carry so many boxes on her own!" He answered, a little annoyed that she couldn't just be _thankful_.

She continued to stare at him, eyes slightly widened then understood that he was helping her.

"O-oh… oh. Than–"

"Don't thank me, it'll get creepy," he cut, rolling his eyes.

" _Fine!"_ She exclaimed, frowning once again and taking out her keys to open her apartment.

She opened the door angrily then went inside with a box, making sure that Kuroo would _not_ be the first one to step inside her new place. He helped her in silence, noticing that unlike his place, there was no furniture at all in hers. Only boxes to fill the emptiness. His furniture had come from his home and he glanced down at Akane as she was counting the boxes.

"Do you have anything else to bring up here?" He asked.

"Ah? No, I have everything, than…"

Her voice trailed off and she glanced over at the young man, wondering if she could thank him. He smirked at her, silently telling her to not thank him for something so simple.

"If you don't need my help anymore, then I'll go." He said, turning around.

She stared at him leaving before startling and, not wanting to let him have the last word, ran to her door and screamed at him already at the other side of the hall:

"I didn't ask for it!" She exclaimed before slamming the door.

She didn't hear his answer – he probably just ignored her. Akane moaned and covered her face with her hands before sliding down on the floor, cursing her life for forcing her to spend _more_ years alongside _Kuroo Tetsurou._ Very, very much close considering now they'd probably hear each other's from across the thin wall.

For the following days, they didn't cross paths again and they were very happy about that. The next time they saw each other was on the first day at the university for a presentation of the Science faculty and different departments and areas.

Tetsurou was already sitting down, being glanced at by a few girls (and boys) who probably found him sexy – he had this effect on people, after all. He was acting casual, as if he had gone to a thousand presentation of the Science field but on the inside, he wasn't quite as reassured as he let it show. It was stressful – what if he failed? Even though he was a genius, it didn't mean it'd be easy studying and practicing on the National volleyball team. What if he realized in five years that he didn't like Science that much after all? What if he should have chosen another field?

His line of thoughts was cut when his gaze was attracted by another student entering the amphitheater. This girl didn't have anything that stood out, wearing casual clothes and a bag over her shoulder, her determined steps taking her forward, her gaze unwavering… But what had made Tetsurou look over at her was that he knew her. Saito Akane. Former classmate and rival of the last six years. New neighbor.

He followed her with his intense gaze, half-hoping– _arhem_ , half- _expecting_ her to notice him as well and that they'd end up stressing _together_ … but she either didn't notice him or ignored him completely. He kept staring as she sat, a few ranks in front of him, taking out a notebook and pen. His golden eyes could have burnt a hole in her back but she didn't even blink or shiver. Finally, he clicked his tongue, grabbed his bag and walked down the few meters until he was at her level but instead of sitting next to her or salute her, he just sat right behind her, still staring like a cat going after a mouse. Even though he knew she was _not_ a mouse. More like a panther.

He kept staring at her, trying to make a noise, a gesture, to have more people noticing him just so _she_ would notice him – but it didn't work. He just didn't want to seem lonely and desperate for _her_ attention. Not that he was. Not at all.

Getting bored, he switched from staring at her at ignoring her presence yet again and playing with his pen by making it twist around his fingers repeatedly. He did it again, and again, until his mind was focused solely on that and that the presence of hundreds of students slowly filling the seats around him didn't bother him anymore.

A sigh from Akane and he lost his focus, his pen went flying. Just at her feet. He quickly leaned down to pick it up but she had heard the light clicking sound and bent down to retrieve it before him. He froze, half-way bent down to get it back when she turned around with the pen in her fingers. Tetsurou almost didn't recognize her as she handed him the pen with a polite smile – until she recognized him and frowned, smile disappearing at once. They stared at each other for a short moment until Akane sighed and forced the pen in his hand, both straightening up in their seats.

"You follow me in silence now? Creepy." She said, sounding annoyed he was sitting right behind her.

"I'm not! I was already sitting here, you just sat in front of me and didn't see me!" He shamelessly lied.

She frowned lightly, nose crunched up, as if she wasn't sure whether he was lying and she had not noticed him, or if he was just making that up. He rose from his seat and shook his hand, forcing her to move to sit one seat away so he could take the place she had been staying on until now.

"Ready to start the university?" He started with a smirk.

"Finally we're starting to get to serious business," she answered almost smiling before catching herself and keeping a straight face, "And you? Started practice yet?"

"Nope, next week."

"I'll finally pull ahead of you now that you'll be so busy playing with your little balls." She mocked.

He glanced at her, a teasing smile on his lips, wondering whether or not he should follow her little innuendo but he chose something more stingy to reply:

"It's sad you're betting on my practice to pull ahead of me. I have been playing volleyball for as long as we've shared classes _and_ _yet_ I've always been better than you~!"

"Uh? _When_ have you been the best? _I_ had better results for the finals, _every year_ _!"_ She exclaimed, leaning towards him challengingly.

"Because I let you get these results so you wouldn't cry on your last day – I'm generous, am I not?" He mocked.

"You _are_ …"

She was probably about to insult him when teachers entered the amphitheater. The two science nerds turned their full attention to them, falling silent as slowly, all students stopped their conversations to listen.

After the welcome and first introductions, the useless but reassuring blah blah continued, the professors presenting the year to come, what was expected of the students and what they would study in the different fields.

"For information… don't think you have a lead just because I'll practice aside from studying…" Tetsurou whispered at some point during the presentation.

"You _will_ spend less time studying than me, though. It's a fact." She replied in the same hushed voice.

"And you really think it's enough to give me a disadvantage? _Please_ , I'm a genius. And sexy."

"However you look at it, it is a disadvantage. And you're not."

"Genius or sexy?" He asked smirking, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes.

"Both." She answered without hesitation.

Amused by her behavior, he couldn't help but let his left hand go under the table and delicately touch her knee, almost teasingly. She didn't react and kept her eyes focused on the teachers while he let his fingers tickle her leg.

"You really think I'm not sexy…? Even though you've stared at me so many times… such long, _long_ glances…?" He whispered, his fingers reaching her inner thigh.

He felt pride swell within his chest when she flushed but she kept her lips tight and gaze focused on what was going on at the teachers' desk.

"You must have kept an awfully close attention to me to notice these glances, did you not, Kuroo?" She answered in the same hushed voice.

His fingers didn't stop teasing her leg even though he felt his confidence crumble just a little – how did she always manage to find something to retort?

He opened his lips to answer when Akane's hand suddenly grabbed him – not his knee, not his thigh, but directly his crotch. He hadn't expected this and was so shocked he jumped, a high-pitched cry escaping his lips. He let go of her leg but hit the desk loudly. He stopped breathing when the teachers turned silent, glancing up at him with narrowed eyes while many students turned around to glance at him. He felt his cheeks burn as he kept his lips thin, silently apologizing to the teachers for interrupting. Finally, after what felt like forever, they continued their presentation.

Tetsurou glanced discreetly at Akane and was even more shocked to see that she was trying hard not to laugh, her lips trembling with an amused smile dancing on her mouth. For a moment he was shocked to see her _smiling_ and _amused_ and having _fun_ but then, he felt terribly offended she dared returning his teasing against him – and _shaming_ him in front of all students and teachers of the science field!

"I'll get back to you for that one," he said in a whisper, frowning at her.

"Sure, you will," she answered, a proud smile on her face, unimpressed by his threat.

Still embarrassed to no bounds, and embarrassment was not something Kuroo Tetsurou felt often or knew how to deal with, he barely listened what happened next. What he knew was that he was glad to meet with his friend, Bokuto Koutarou, at a nearby café to complain about Akane being part of his life _yet again_.

"How went the presentation for the Science field?" Bokuto asked when Kuroo arrived.

He dropped his bag and let himself fall in front of his friend who was drinking some very colorful drink.

"GUH!" He growled, lifting up angry arms to the ceiling.

"Not well, uh?" Bokuto concluded with a smile, "Let me guess, it was Ak–"

"Akane! This witch! I can't believe she's actually part of my life! What did I ever do to deserve such a fate?!" He hissed.

"You're being incredibly rude with fate now… it's not that terrible," he answered just as a waitress arrived to take Kuroo's order.

He mumbled something, glancing up at the girl who stared at him for a few seconds longer than what was socially acceptable. Immediately connecting the dots, he looked back at her with his seductive gaze – but he was still annoyed and he almost looked hungry. She flushed and walked away to prepare his order. Kuroo stared at her figure, appreciating her curves while Bokuto stared at him with an annoyed look.

"You're doing it again," he said.

"Doing what?"

"Seducing girls for no reason," his friend answered.

"It's not for 'no reason' – I get a good fuckery in the end." Kuroo shrugged just as the waitress came back to give him his order.

He looked straight at her, making her blush and look away – she had heard him and there was no doubt that ideas were flowing her mind. Bokuto rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"What happened to get you in such a sour mood, seriously? I thought you'd be glad to finally start university, in the field you've always been a nerd for!"

" _Akane_ happened!" He hissed before sighing.

He told him what had happened in the amphitheater, making the owl laugh loudly when he learned how well Akane had tamed Kuroo.

"I'm sure you actually loved it! A hot girl grabbed your crotch – and you're not a shy one when it comes to public places! So what _really_ annoyed you?"

"Everyone heard and turned around! I don't mind the attention, mind you… but it was still so embarrassing in the middle of everyone!"

"I never thought a day would come where Kuroo Tetsurou would be _embarrassed_ …" Bokuto teased.

"How are you doing? Without your Ayaka? Holding up all right?" Kuroo continued instead, switching the topic to something less embarrassing for him.

Koutarou's expression darkened, he pouted a little before sighing and smiling.

"I'm all right, I'm a big boy and we knew we'd spend less time together. It's just weird going from seeing each other every day to… once or twice a week. Especially with what happened with what happened after the Spring High, even if she says she's fine I'm sure she's not feeling _that_ good about the whole story…" He admitted, his shoulders dropping a little, "Thankfully I have my friends and volleyball and now, History to study… and Ayaka too isn't alone – she's got Akaashi so she's not on her own either. It's reassuring. He keeps me updated on how she's doing so… for the moment, everything is fine." He explained with a faraway gaze.

Kuroo would never cease to be amazed by the infinite love uniting the two loveowls – it was breathtaking how united they were after only a year of dating. Granted they had gone through quite the hardships and had faced many things that were the reason why their couple was working so well… but for someone like him, who never had a stable relationship and the only girl he liked had broken his heart… Koutarou and Ayaka's relationship seemed like a fairytale, a dream-like fantasy he would never get. It almost felt like a lie, but he was still incredibly jealous to not get to live the same dream.

"By the way, I got an invitation for a party for the new students," Kuroo stated, pulling out the flier that had been distributed at the end of the presentation.

"AH, I got the same!" He answered, nodding.

"It's written we can invite one person with us. I thought we could invite some of our friends to it – you could ask Ayaka to come, and I'll ask Oikawa."

"Ayaka's father will never agree to let her go to such a party, but I'll ask Ushijima. It'll be some volleyball team bonding moment!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Even though it's totally out of volleyball context," Kuroo answered with a smirk, but he was glad to go to some party with his new teammates.

For the following days, Tetsurou got used to the rhythm of the university, then he started practice for the national team with Bokuto and two more players from Miyagi he had gotten along with well: Oikawa Tooru and Ushijima Wakatoshi. All four of them, plus Iwaizumi Hajime who had remained in Sendai for his studies, had bonded during a training camp a few months ago. He loved this new rhythm, his days were filled with only things he liked: volleyball, science and more volleyball. The only two, tiny downsides of living on his own: he didn't get to see his mother or Kenma much anymore. And he got to see Saito Akane a little too much to his tastes.

He tried to avoid seeing Akane but he couldn't do much when they were crossing paths in the hall they sjared, or when they were going to the same groceries shop ten minutes from where they lived, or when they recognized each other on the university grounds. They usually tried ignoring each other, but for some reason, they were constantly meeting. One morning they would cross paths at the university, the afternoon they shared a class, the following day they would have lunch at neighboring tables, another day they'd study at the library in the same corner… He had hoped that he could easily ignore Akane now that they weren't in the _same_ class from 8am to 3pm five days of the week. But they would always see each other anyway.

Totally ignoring the other quickly became boring for both of them, though. Tetsurou and Akane started to catch glances of the other, and keep staring until one would look away and lose, or until they had no choice but to continue their way. In class they were making sure to sit within eyesight of the other, sometimes teasing by drawing the other on their notes and showing it – but no one else seemed to notice their game. In the halls, or in the cafeteria or on the campus, instead of walking in opposite direction and making sure people would be in between them, they'd walk until their arms brushed… Even if they wanted to, they couldn't ignore each other.

They still hadn't had any exam or test and he couldn't wait to try it out to see how he and Akane would do – they'd definitely compete against each other once again but… he got to see her so often, in so different ways than back at school… constantly brushing each other, seeing the other from the corner of the eye but never talking, never teasing, never exchanging… it was starting to get exhausting. He wanted to ignore her but he couldn't fight the urge to tease her. He couldn't comprehend _why_ he wanted her to notice him and tease him – perhaps it was for the sake of the good old days… It had always motivated them for more and they had always found strength in themselves and each other by doing so.

Tetsurou finally cracked someday when he was doing his groceries. He was checking his list with everything there was in his cart, casually walking through the halls. He took notice of Akane and despite what he would have done two weeks ago (ignoring her and walking the other way) or what he would have done a week ago (going her way and making sure she'd notice him without engaging contact other than a casual and innocent brush of his hand against her back) he stopped. He observed her as she struggled to reach for some biscuits at the highest shelf. Her fingertips were inches from the packet she seemed so determined to get.

He advanced in the hall then stopped next to her – she didn't notice him, too busy fighting against her height to get the biscuits. He easily grabbed the box of biscuits, making her go down on her heels at once. Akane looked up at him as he handed the box of biscuits. She would have thanked the helper, she would have smiled and she would have taken the box… but she hesitated when she recognized _said-helper_. Akane and Tetsurou stared at each other for a long moment.

"Kuroo…?" She said, raising an eyebrow, suspicious in his action.

It seemed kind, helpful, innocent enough – but she knew better. It was _Kuroo Tetsurou_ after all. Playing the innocent kitten, he put on his most helpful expression:

"I saw you were trying to reach for it. That's what you wanted, right?" He asked, glancing down at the box of biscuits.

She glanced at the box then back at him and she nodded without a word. She reached for the box of biscuits just as he put it into his cart.

"Good luck, then," he said, turning around and grinning to himself.

Akane hissed when she realized he had done it on purpose – he hadn't wanted to help her at all! He just wanted to annoy her by showing how freakishly tall he was! He had gotten the box of biscuits for _himself_ , this annoying cat!

Kuroo continued walking, satisfied with his little game, feeling more alive than during the last few days. It was so _invigorating_ to tease and mock Akane~

He gasped when he received something in the back of his head. He stopped in his steps and glanced down at the box of cereals she had thrown against his head. He glanced over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at Akane who glared at him, a furious blush on her cheeks. Satisfied with her hit, she huffed and turned back to the shelf. She climbed over the lower shelves and _finally_ got the box of biscuits she so wanted.

"I'm not picking this thing up," he told her, glancing at the box of cereals at his feet.

She walked past him, head held high and totally ignored his words.

"Oi! I'm not going to pick… it up…" He continued, voice trailing off when she disappeared, "Damn it… I'll pick it up…" He mumbled, bending down to retrieve the box of cereals and put it back on the shelf.

He glanced down at the box of biscuits he had taken to piss Akane off – cat-shaped chocolate cookies called _'catisfaction'._ They bought a lot of this back at Nekoma, in honor of their school mascot, the cat. He didn't dislike them so he might as well keep them.

He paid for his groceries then went home, thinking back on the little teasing they had done at the grocery shop. They had it coming. After failing to ignore each other, and failing to ruffle the cats' furs, the only choice left was to be their usual selves. Teasing, mocking, competing and _loving_ to hate each other.

* * *

 _If you have any question, don't hesitate to ask! I chose these specific fields for them for reasons; and for Kuroo it's cnaon he loves science and especially Chemistry. The University of Tokyo has a system as 'described' here with different Faculty - Department - Area. There are common classes for a same department, with more specific classes for the specialties in the different areas._

 _I really like Akane and I'm very excitde to finally post this story but I'll keep the updates to one chapter every two weeks until I'm done with writing for Sowlmates and Quiet Voice! :)_

 _Hoping you'll enjoy this story~_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	3. Equation to Solve

_WOW! I wasn't expecting so many reviews and follows or favorites so fast! I hope I won't disappoint you, ahah!_

 _Thank you to everyone! :D_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Gli amari già ma gli conosci, sono appariti in Sowlmates! ;) Akane è grandiosa, sono cosi eccitata di scrivere per questi due! :D Spero che ti piacerai anche questo capitolo! ;)_

 _ **ngkookies** : Ahah, I understand, I wouldn't try to read fanfics as long as Sowlmates and Quiet Voice. I would love if you ever find the time or courgae to start them though! XD The NSFW content is almost a necessity for a Kuroo fanfic! :3 I'm glad that you find them IC, and I hope it'll stay this way! :) And of course, there'll be Kenma! And even Yaku and a few more of Nekoma or Fukurodani! ;) I'm sohappy to be an inspiration for you with ym silly stories! :D Also, "holy tanaka with a banana" is my new motto! XD OH! You're allergic to chocolate? I know that people wiht allergies don't feel the hurt but I'm so sorry for you anyway... *glances at all the chooclate piled up around me*_

 _ **PhantomSeekerz255** : Akane appears in Sowlmate in a few chapters here and there; so we have an idea of how they behave around each other in these chapters. We'll still see their story unfold and their past in this fanfic! ;) _

_**Cheshire Cat** : You're ALIVE! I was so happily surprised to see your review! I know about prépa and I'm sorry for you... Will you ever catch up to the other stories lol? I'd love for yuo to but I'd understand if you don't have the courage for that... " _

_**MarvelDweeb** : I'm so happy when people who read Sowlmates and Quiet Voice read my new fanfictions! :D I hope you'll like this one as well! :D_

 _ **ren-hatake** : In Sowlmtes, Akane appears a few times to introduce her so we'll see their past later in the story. :) _

_**Marie798** : I'm so happy you're reading this story as well! :D Ayaka and Kiku will appear as well in this story, don't worry! :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER III : Equation to Solve

" _I think some people are just inexplicably bonded. Drawn by forces beyond their own comprehension, they have no choice but to gravitate toward one another. Destined by fate to keep crossing paths until they finally get it right."_

— **L.B. Simmons, The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller**

" _She's a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _They looked at each other, baffled, in love and hate."_

— **William Golding, Lord of the Flies**

" _Feelings are scary, and sometimes they're painful. But if you can't feel pain then there's no way you'll feel anything else either. You're here and you're alive, and don't tell me you don't feel that…It is good, believe me."_

— **Judith Guest, Ordinary People**

" _Acting like you don't care is not letting it go."_

— **Penelope Douglas, Bully**

" _When you protect yourself from pain, be sure you do not protect yourself from love."_

— **Alan Cohen**

" _Physics is about questioning, studying, probing nature. You probe, and, if you're lucky, you get strange clues."_

— **Lene Hau**

" _There are two reasons why people don't talk about things; either it doesn't mean anything to them, or it means everything."_

— **Luna Adriana**

" _Falling in love with you wasn't part of the plan. But it happened, anyway."_

— **Unknown**

Tetsurou was on his way out for a run in the early morning, happily whistling after the good night of sleep he had had. Looking up, his whistling ended when he noticed someone coming his way. Saito Akane. She was walking while checking her mail she had taken downstairs before going back up – she wore what might have been her pajamas. Or at least, very, very casual clothes. Black sweat pants too big for her and a red, sleeveless shirt too tight for her. She looked tired, like she didn't have enough sleep and it was strange seeing her without proper clothes or make-up. Or _awake_ considering her messy hair. It was strangely endearing.

He could have– he _should_ have let her walk by him considering he was a polite young man who let ladies walk without trouble but it was _Saito Akane_ who still hadn't noticed him (or that _anyone_ was around) and his whole body was on fire, begging to tease someone and she was the _perfect_ candidate. So as she reached his level, he didn't let her pass and they almost collided. They both stopped, Tetsurou because he didn't want to move away and Akane because she finally realized she had almost walked into someone else.

"Sorry, I didn't see… ah. _You_." She said with an unimpressed look on her face.

"Greetings to you too, Saito! I see you are quite the _enchanting_ sight in the morning!" He exclaimed, making sure their bodies were close.

They weren't touching, but their bodies were inches from each other, close enough to feel the warmth they emitted. He had to bend his head to look down at her. And he was greeted by an enchanting sight, _indeed_.

Akane stared at him, followed his gaze, and an offended look appeared on her face, knowing _very well_ what his stare was focused on then she huffed.

"My boobs greet you too." She mocked, a hand on her hip, "Now, would you _please_ let me pass so I could go back into my place?"

She tried to move past him but he didn't let her. She looked back up at him exasperatedly but he kept staring at her cleavage, an annoying grin on his face. Before she could say anything else, he looked a little thoughtful and lifted up his hand. Tetsurou very casually hooked his finger to her shirt then lifted it up enough to cover her distracting cleavage. He totally ignored her lips opening in shock for what he had done and planted his gaze into hers triumphantly.

"I wouldn't want your boobs greeting anyone else but me." He said in a low voice, a huge, dorky grin on his face.

Glad of what he had done, he stepped beside her and continued his way to go running, his smirk so big it hurt his cheeks.

Still stunned and slightly offended Akane remained where she was, a flush on her cheeks as her heart beat a little faster from his actions. She bit on her lower lip then glanced over her shoulder very quickly, seeing him approaching the stairs. She shook her head then disappeared into her flat just as Tetsurou glanced over his shoulder, holding back a chuckle at what had happened.

For some strange reason, his encounter with Akane got Tetsurou to be in a very good mood for most of the day – something his friends and teammates noticed at practice and didn't let him forget as they changed:

"You seem very happy, did something happen in particular?" Bokuto asked curiously.

"Mm? No, not really, I'm just in a good mood," he answered with a strange smile – it _felt_ like his usual smile but there was _something_ different in his expression but they couldn't pinpoint what exactly.

Oikawa and Bokuto glanced at each other, Ushijima half-listening and mostly lost in his thoughts. The duo looked back at Kuroo:

"Did you spend the night with a lady friend?" Oikawa asked with a teasing smile.

"Oh? No, for once I didn't," he answered, blinking in confusion that it'd be the conclusion they'd reach.

"You're all smiley and weird, you must have had a good time with a girl, though." Bokuto continued, knowing him well enough to know that a girl was involved, "Is it Akane?" He asked teasingly, hands on his hips.

"Eh? Why would you think it has anything to do with Akane?" He asked, a chuckle escaping his lips.

His heart sped up a little, suddenly feeling a little awkward and blushy. But it didn't mean anything, of course. It was just weird Bokuto had guessed right the identity of the only girl he had exchanged with today – _she_ wasn't the reason he was in such a good mood anyway, it was teasing her that had been fun.

"Because it's the only girl you told us about and because a smile like that can't be caused by anything else but a girl!" Oikawa answered, a mix of pride and tease gleaming in his eyes.

"My smile is perfectly normal, what are you talking about?" He mumbled before an expression of comprehension on his face, "Ah, you mean… the same smile _you_ wear whenever you think of your dear Shiori-chan~? Or when she is mentioned or when she visits or when–"

"S-ssshhh!" The setter exclaimed, trying to cover his mouth but he escaped him.

Ushijima glanced at them, narrowing his eyes at Oikawa very quickly before sighing. Oikawa made a weird, embarrassed face before turning away from the Super Ace. Kuroo cackled – no matter how many times he did that he'll never get tired of embarrassing Oikawa when it came to Ushijima's cousin. Tooru _refused_ to admit he had a crush on her – but it was only a question of time before Kuroo managed to get the truth out of him. And in _front_ of Ushiwaka, or it wouldn't be fun.

Now pouting and trying to calm down his heart, Oikawa momentarily abandoned the conversation, letting Bokuto do the rest. Arms crossed over his chest, he looked at Kuroo with a big, knowing smile – Kuroo _hated_ this expression on the owl's face. _Especially_ when Akane was involved.

"You must see Akane often now that she lives next-door."

"I see her _too much_ , you mean," Kuroo mumbled, glancing away, feigning annoyance.

"Right, right! And… did anything happen considering you practically _live_ together?" Bokuto continued teasingly.

"Eh? What could _possibly_ happen? We sometimes walk into each other but that's it. There's really nothing interesting going on between Akane and I."

"Nothing interesting going on… Mmm… is it me or I hear… _yearning_ in your voice, Kuroo?" Bokuto continued, Oikawa looking to observe the middle-blocker's expression closely.

"It's you, Bokuto. Just because you imagined I _like_ her doesn't mean anything. I never felt anything for Akane in six years, I'm not going to feel anything _now!"_ He continued with a shrug.

"Maybe you've just ignored the way you felt for the last six years, though," Oikawa remarked.

Kuroo turned sharp eyes towards him, but it wasn't enough to impress the setter who just stared back at him.

"I don't feel anything for Akane or for _anyone_ for that matter and it won't change anytime soon." He said in a hard voice, before he left the changing-room, the three players glancing at him.

"…You made him mad." Ushijima said, glancing accusingly at Oikawa who startled guiltily.

"I didn't think he'd react like that…! Why did he even get angry? It's not such a _bad_ thing if he likes someone, after all…!" Oikawa whined, not sure what he had said to make the snarky Kuroo lose his tempter.

"…Don't hold it against him," Bokuto said, strangely calm, "The only girl he was close to like ended up lying to him and leaving in another prefecture. He never really got over it. Rather, he's too proud to admit how hurt he had been by her betrayal. He's refused to consider the idea of falling in love ever since… but if anyone should be able to change his mind it should be Akane."

He paused thoughtfully, thinking back on the one time he had met her – she had been a fury, insulting Kuroo and frightening Bokuto… but after everything he had heard about her from Kuroo, he knew she couldn't be such a bad person. If anything, she was so similar to Kuroo – both were fiery and stubborn and such spitfires, if anyone could get to Kuroo's heart, it'd be Saito Akane. But that was only if she _wanted_ to and he had no idea what to think of her feelings for his friend.

"But she seems just as proud and stubborn as he is so…" Bokuto sighed.

"I'm surprised you can read them so easily," Ushijima said, not having expected such a quality from the Ace who had been behind him for so long.

"I'm surprised that the only one of us who has a girlfriend and a stable love life is _you!"_ Oikawa mumbled, not believing that the dorky and foolish looking young man was so well settled.

"Ahah! I was just lucky to find the right one when I was still young!" He exclaimed, jerking his head backwards.

"It was only a year ago, you're not _that_ old," Oikawa remarked.

"But someday, you'll find your Sowlmates too! You just have to believe in it! Don't worry, Oikawa, even if your Sowlmate is Shiori, Ushiwaka won't hold it against you! Right, Ushiwaka?"

Oikawa gasped and hissed, stubbornly denying whatever they had started imagining between him and Shiori – _Ushiwaka's_ cousin…!

"And I am telling you that I'm _not_ interested!"

"Let's go join the others," Ushijima said, walking past him, making him gasp once again while Bokuto laughed.

By the end of practice, Kuroo had relaxed and taken out his annoyance on a few spikes and blocks. Going back home, he prepared himself a dinner full of proteins and carbohydrates. He was studying his notes on his bed, getting sleepy and ready for a full night when he started to hear a tapping sound coming from the wall. He looked up at the wall against which his bed was, the one connecting to Akane's flat. He ignored it at first, but it slowly started to get on his nerves. He lifted up his arm, ready to pound it against the wall to not-so-gently express his annoyance but for some reason, he stopped. He glared at the wall, not knowing what to do anymore and listening to the annoying tapping against his wall. He realized it was regular, like some rhythm but it didn't sound like any music he knew… and before he could figure it out, it stopped. Sighing angrily because he didn't get to study as much as he had hoped, he put away his notes, turned off the lights then fell on the bed, pushing his pillows against the sides of his head.

The following day, he heard the tapping sound against the wall once again, obviously coming from Akane herself. Now curious, he listened to it, trying to figure out if he ever heard such a melody but it didn't ring any bell. Getting bored, laying on his bed, he lifted up his hand and tapped the same rhythmic sound. He waited but Akane had stopped. It got into his head and in the following days, he surprised himself by tapping the rhythm with his pen or fingers, wherever he was.

He realized it when one day during class, in between taking notes, Akane turned around and stared at his hand tapping regularly. Noticing her attention was on him, he raised an eyebrow. She planted her eyes into his then whipped around, making him curiouser and curiouser.

"Does is it mean something?" He asked her when they exited the amphitheater.

She glanced up at him quickly, looking stunned he'd come to her and _talk_ to her.

"What are you talking about?" She asked instead, unconsciously accelerating a little.

It was far from being enough to distance his long legs and he wouldn't have noticed it if they hadn't arrived in a crowded hall – the light accelerating, while avoiding other students, was making it hard to keep up with her without crushing into people. But he did manage to walk around people to catch up to Akane.

"The thing you do against the wall, does it mean something?" He continued, leaning down a little.

She looked up at him, as if he was the stupidest being she had ever met.

"Of course not, I just get bored and I do it like that but it doesn't mean anything." She explained but he wasn't satisfied.

"Then why did you turn around earlier when I did it?"

"It was annoying."

"What should I say about it whenever you start tapping the wall at night?" He mumbled, frowning a little.

"Does it annoy you?" She asked, stopping and looking up at him.

He almost crushed into her and while the students walked besides them in waves, they were the only ones still. Her gaze deep into his.

 _Yes,_ was what he thought.

"I don't care, no…" Was what he answered, which flustered him.

But for some reason, he felt like it was a way for them to communicate. Only _their_ way of communication, a rhythmic tapping against a wall at night. It felt stupid but he liked it and he didn't want it to stop. Why?

"Do you want me to stop it?" She continued, not moving away from him even though they were so physically close.

Realizing this he couldn't help but glance down at her body – unlike the Nekoma uniform, at the university, she wore casual clothes. Which meant beautiful cleavage. He quickly averted his eyes back on her face and if she noticed his glance, she didn't react to it.

"…I'm surprised you'd be nice enough to stop but I must admit that even if it's bearable when I want to sleep it keeps me from closing my eyes and relaxing so…" He mumbled, glancing away in embarrassment.

"I asked you if you wanted me to stop, I never said I'd _actually_ stop. Now knowing that it keeps you from relaxing motivates me even more to continue doing so." She said with a proud smile.

Tetsurou looked at her, stunned she'd dare say that with a smile and calm behavior. Without another word, satisfied of her effect on him, she turned around and left in long strides. Tetsurou stared at her figure disappearing in the crowd of students, his mouth falling open. Then an amused, excited grin appeared on his face.

An arm was suddenly thrown over his shoulders, startling him a little. Kuroo glanced and grinned, a little annoyed at the way Bokuto had decided to greet him. The owl was grinning teasingly – _obviously_ , he had seen everything.

"Bokuto, what are you doing here? You're on the wrong campus, you know that, right?" He mumbled in a low voice.

"I finished earlier so I thought I'd come and meet you! I didn't dare interrupt when you were flirting with Akane, though."

"We weren't flirting."

" _Suuure_ , you weren't~ You were two centimeters from each other, looking straight into each other's eyes, as if the world had stopped spinning juuuuust for this moment to happen…!" He said, hands joined together and blinking amorously, acting like a middle-school girl (which was a funny sight considering Bokuto was a tall, buffy young man), "But you're _weren't_ flirting – that's what you're trying to tell me?"

"I'm glad to see you can understand," Kuroo answered with the same mocking tone.

He started walking, Bokuto following him, making their way to practice with a stop at a grocery store because they were, _obviously_ , hungry.

At the gymnasium, they found Oikawa and Ushijima already changing for the practice. While they changed clothes, the setter was on his phone, sitting on the bench to wait for them.

Hearing a light, tapping sound, Kuroo frowned to himself and turned around, staring at Oikawa for so long that he glanced up:

"What is it? I have something on my face?" He asked curiously.

"…That thing you were doing with your fingers, what was it?"

"… _That?"_ He asked, starting to tap against the side of his phone once again.

"Yeah, that, what is it?" He asked, making the setter blink.

"…When I'm bored I tap my fingers against my phone." He explained as if it was obvious.

"Yeah, I figured it out. But it was rhythmic, did you just improvise or did you learn it somewhere?" He asked, frowning lightly because if it was different from what Akane was tapping against his wall, even if it was rhythmic.

Oikawa seemed embarrassed and glanced away before lifting up his head stubbornly, as if deciding that he could be proud of his tastes and not be ashamed even if his teammates would judge him for that.

"It's the Arecibo message." He answered.

"The _what?"_ Bokuto asked with big eyes, the others looking just as confused.

Oikawa seemed confused they didn't know about it, then he looked _overjoyed_ to know something all of these university students _didn't_ know. He stood up suddenly and excitedly explained:

"The Arecibo message! It's the _basics_ of science and extra-terrestrial communication! I can't _believe_ you don't know about that!"

"No, no one knows about this sort of things," Ushijima answered, frowning lightly in confusion.

"All right! Listen well! The Arecibo message is a 1974 interstellar radio message carrying basic information about humanity and Earth sent to M13 in the hope that extraterrestrial intelligence might receive and decipher it! It was broadcasted into space a single time and it was turned into sounds by some German professor!"

"Basically, a coded message for aliens?" Kuroo concluded, raising an eyebrow.

"M…13?" Ushijima repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Oikawa looked straight at him, hands on his hips and frowning lightly:

"Messier 13, a globular cluster of stars in the constellation of Hercules! Don't you know _anything_ about astronomy?!" He said, as if personally insulted.

"Literally _no one_ knows about that." Kuroo said.

Oikawa gasped, as if hurt, but Bokuto raised his arm, attracting everyone's attention on him:

"I have questions, Oikawa! What is a globule of stars? And if it was a coded message for the aliens, did they answer yet? Also _why_ the heck do you know any of that?"

"A _globular cluster_ of stars looks like a ball of stars because they're all bonded by gravity and gathered together. I love aliens and space that's why I know about it. And don't be _ridiculous…!_ M13 is 25,000 lights years _away!_ It'd take nearly 25,000 years for the message to reach its intended destination and 25,000 _more_ years for any reply!"

"Oh… then why did they bother sending a message if it'd take forever to get an answer?" Bokuto continued, brows furrowed.

"There won't be any answer, aliens don't exist," Ushijima said.

"Did you ever have _any_ proof that they do not eixst?!" Oikawa asked him, pointing at him accusingly.

He seemed thoughtful before shaking his head no.

"Then don't assume they don't exist without proof of their non-existence! They're already here anyway."

"They are?" Bokuto asked, glancing at Ushijima.

" _Of course_ they are! Roswell! UFOs sightings! Zone 51! The NASA's secrets!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms around as if to prove his point, glancing at each and everyone of them, "Don't you know _anything?!"_

The two wing-spikers glanced at each other once again while Kuroo felt like facepalming himself. His teammates were a human version of an owl, a socially inept Ace and an alien fanboy.

Oikawa was explaining to Bokuto why the Arecibo message had any interests in being sent but Ushiwaka had given up listening to this nonsense and was leading the way to the court.

"A coded message, uh…" Kuroo murmured to himself, thoughtful.

Akane had said it meant nothing but he didn't believe it: she wouldn't have avoided the question, then pretended it was nothing and acted the way she did.

This night, he impatiently waited for her to start tapping against the wall. Around the same time as usual, he heard the now familiar, rhythmic tapping. He listened then grinned to himself.

"I'm going to decipher you, Saito Akane," he whispered to himself.

If he could solve multivariable calculus in an instant, if he could balance chemical equations in a few seconds, then figuring out the beautiful mess that was Saito Akane couldn't be _that_ hard. He just hoped that by doing so he wouldn't abandon his pride in the process. Unbeknownst to him, he'll abandon his heart instead.

* * *

 _The chapters are short for now but thy'll get longer little by little! :)_

 _I hope you enjoyed it. ;)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	4. Game of Cat and Mouse

_Here is the new chapter! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed~! :D_

 _ **KirikaAndo** : The Oikawa fanfic arrives soon, not to worry~! ;)_

 _ **PhantomSeekerz255** : I'm really happy you enjoyed last chapter and I hope you'll like this one too! ;) I really enjoy writing about Akane, and her relationship with Kuroo, and the boys all together! :D A new chapter of Sowlmate will arrive soon :)_

 _ **jungkookies** : I'm certain Oikawa would pay a lot more than he should to have a toy tube like yours, if it was labelled "contacts with aliens" XD Iwaizumi would probably scold him for wasting money, lol. I think that the question of aliens is... well, I'm certain we're nto alone in the universe and that's scientifically proven. But are they intellignet? Have they reached us? I honestly could talk for a very lnog time about this just ebcause of the amount of stuff I've watched and read - I think that if I allowed myself to, I'd be as much of a fan as Oikawa is. It's not weird at all! When I was still doing mathematics, and balancing equations, I enjoyed doing it! It made me feel very intellignet when I did one right, lol! XD_

 _ **Icicle04** : Thanks, I hope you'll like what follows! ;)_

 _ **Dina Sana:** Yes, all of my stories are connected. The main four fanfictions + the one-shots (that might turn into 2-3 shots) for some other charactes. It will be the case for Ushijima, but I don't know when I'll post his one-shot love story. :) Oikawa is certain and will be posted as soon as I'm done with Iwaizumi's fanfic, Quiet Voice. :3_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER IV : Game of Cat and Mouse

" _But I wonder if you spend the nights tossing and turning – dreaming me, too."_

— **N.M. Sanchez**

" _My ideal lover:_

 _Intelligence, with a touch_

 _of insanity"_

— **Nicholas A Browne | Haiku 481**

" _Do you know, why we as humans are so violent? We just want someone to understand and feel the pain we're going through. We just want to know that we're not alone in our suffering."_

— **Unknown**

" _I think there's a big difference between being a bad person and being bad at being a person."_

— **Megan Falley, "Letter From the First Woman I Tried to Love," Redhead and the Slaughter King**

" _It's been a long time since I've been me."_

— **Fernando Pessoa**

" _Happiness doesn't have to be chased… it merely has to be chosen."_

― **Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass**

" _There are only a few things that are more entertaining than watching a cat trying to run across a freshly waxed wood floor after a ball."_

― **David C. Holley, Write like no one is reading**

Kuroo was studying when someone suddenly pulled at the chair in front of him, letting it rack loudly against the floor. Everyone around looked up, glaring at a sheepish Bokuto.

"Sorry…" He murmured to everyone, letting himself drop on his chair.

"Has anyone ever told you that discretion is your forte?" Kuroo said with a smirk.

"Has anyone ever told you that… um… that your messy hair is yours?" He replied, trying to sound smug but failing miserably.

Kuroo stared straight at him. Bokuto huffed, knowing he had failed his mission.

"Actually yes," Kuroo finally answered with a mocking smirk.

" _Come on!"_ He exclaimed, earning more glares from around.

"Seriously, keep it down or we're gonna get kicked out," he mumbled, continuing to take notes.

"So, why did you ask me to join you in the library?" Bokuto asked instead, unfazed at the idea of being kicked out of the library (he was used to it; for some reason, librarians disliked him).

"Because _you_ asked me to have lunch with you."

"Yeah but why _this_ library? It's a literature library, you're usually in the science buildings."

"Because I needed to check something in this library in particular," he answered, not looking up, "We still have time before going to lunch, why don't you study as well until I'm done?"

"Oh, good idea!"

He pulled out his own notes and books, Kuroo sending him a surprised look he'd _actually_ study. He was thinking that the possibility of a tempest was high when, within _thirty_ seconds (Kuroo counted), Bokuto got distracted and looked up at him, opening his mouth to say something:

"I saw Akane earlier." He suddenly said in a hushed voice but it didn't lower the volume in any way.

His _words_ , on the other hand, got a reaction out of Kuroo whose pencil suddenly and inexplicably broke. He tried to play it cool but it didn't work as well as he had hoped.

"Ah?"

"Yeah, she was talking with some girl. She had a nerdy look, she's probably in your class."

"Probably…"

He looked up thoughtfully, his chin resting on the palm of his hand, his gaze wandering around.

"We did some chemical experimentation today, it might be the girl she was paired with. I thought we would never touch any chemical, it's so good to finally do something other than theories."

"I thought you loved theories?"

"Yeah but experimenting is better."

He thought back with a smile on his face about how the morning experimentation had gone. It had been nice putting on a blouse and mask because it meant _chemistry!_ Actual chemistry, seeing up close the reactions that were just numbers and theories on paper! Seeing it evolve and happen in front of them. It felt so much more real and reachable – which was why it was his favorite science subject. From the way almost everyone had reacted, with their eyes shining a little, everyone enjoyed doing chemistry. He particularly recalled the expression on Akane's face. Cheeks flushed, a bouncy step, her mask covering her glasses and making her look ridicule, her hair pulled back in a not-so-sexy way, the gloves covering her hands… and her eyes. Her brown, slightly reddish eyes, sparkling excitedly at the idea of doing science…

" _Oi, dude… erh… Kuroo, is that it?" His lab partner called,_ _waving_ _in front of his face to bring him back on earth._

" _Eeeh, sorry, I got distracted," he answered, looking down apologetically at the short boy._

 _He glanced in the direction Kuroo had been staring and he huffed._

" _Yeah, I can see that. She's hot."_

" _Eh? What? Who?"_

" _The girl you've been staring at, you two come from the same high-school, right? Girlfriend?" He asked curiously, slowly gathering the material they'd need for their experiment._

" _Why does everyone always assume Akane and I are together, damn it…?" He mumbled in a low voice, thinking back on how Oikawa and Ushijima (well, mostly the setter) had reached the same conclusion._

 _He hadn't meant for his partner to hear, but he did. He stared at Kuroo, then over his shoulder, catching Akane staring at Kuroo without him noticing._

" _Yeah… who knows?" He said, ironic, still staring behind them._

 _Kuroo glanced at him, confused, then he glanced over his shoulder but Akane was writing down some formula. He looked back at his partner who just sighed. These two were so oblivious it was ridiculous._

" _Could you go get the_ _15g of sodium hydroxide?_ _" His partner suddenly asked him._

" _Sure."_

 _Kuroo started to walk towards the end of the lab where all the various products they'd need and the balances were, ignoring the duos of partners he walked by until he reached Akane and her partner. Their eyes met and it felt as if time had slowed down… until he forced his gaze forward to keep walking._

 _Akane suddenly appeared at his sides, looking forward and obviously going for the same goal. A smile started appearing on his face as he made his steps longer… Akane noticed it and instinctively tried to keep up with him. He accelerated and she accelerated. He tried to push her on a side and despite her gasp, she was quick to catch up and keep up with his long legs. They were actually pushing each other with their hands when they reached the balance._

" _Oi, at the back, calm down. There's enough_ _sodium hydroxide_ _for everyone," their teacher said, not moving from the front, too busy as he was reading some science magazine._

" _Sorry!" They both exclaimed in the same time, used to do this sort of things despite the few points it always costed them back in high-school._

 _Because there were several boxes of_ _sodium hydroxide_ _and several balances, they did their own thing, weighing to the exact_ _amount of it_ _._

" _I'm done first," Akane suddenly said, grabbing the little_ _plastic weighing cup_ _in which she had weighted the_ _sodium hydroxide_ _._

" _Agh! No! I am!" He exclaimed._

 _He hurriedly added the last few grams but he overdid it and had to take off some, as soon as he was certain of the weight, he spun around to catch up to Akane. She smirked at him triumphantly from over her shoulder but she didn't notice that a chair had been moved in the center of the room and she tripped against it, falling forward with a yell and her content flying off. Kuroo's reaction was immediate. His laugh resonated loudly_ _and_ _he couldn't help and bent over, holding his stomach… and dropping what he had weighted._

" _BWAHAHAHA– ah."_

" _Serves you right!" Akane exclaimed, standing up._

 _They glared at each other while their tired teacher, without ever looking up, casually dropped a comment, addressing to the entire class:_

" _And that is the reason why we have blouses and masks on, children."_

"Earth to Kuroo."

He startled and looked back at Bokuto who was leaning forward, looking curious and vaguely worried about his friend spacing out.

"I think you're studying too much," he said very seriously.

"And you, not enough." Kuroo replied, deciding to call it done.

He pushed his notes into his bag, closing the book he had been reading, Bokuto glancing at it very quickly.

"Why the heck do you read a book on Morse code?" He asked.

"Just curious about it." He shrugged, standing up to put the book back in its shelf, "And _actually_ , it's the Wabun code which is the Japanese version of Morse code."

"Yeah, cause everyone knows that and it's just _so_ useful to know a bloody thing about Morse code, or Wabun code."

"Ahah, make fun of me but at least in case of an emergency or bad situation in which I can't say anything out loud, I could use sound or light to express myself." He answered.

"If you _ever_ use the Morse code, wabun… whatever, in a situation in which it's _actually_ useful, I'll pay you a plane ticket to the destination of your choice!" Bokuto exclaimed, putting his hand out.

"OH OH! That's a _deal_ , Bo!" He exclaimed, jerking his backward before shaking his hand enthusiastically.

He'll have to _absolutely_ find a way to use Morse code, have some proof and make sure it looks innocent enough to not have been planned beforehand… and he'll go to his destination of dream! Wherever that was!

"As if you'll _ever_ use it, pfff!" Bokuto exclaimed, laughing loudly.

Over the course of the following days, nothing else happened. Classes and practice, sometimes lunch with Bokuto, most of the time they would walk together to the practice, sometimes they were joined by Ushijima or Oikawa if one of them was around… He'd walk past Akane a few times, they'd keep staring until they were out of sight and they'd ignore the fuzzy feeling in their stomach or the way their hearts warmed up.

One day, though, sometimes strange happened. Practice was going on as usual, drawing to an end, everyone practicing their serves and Kuroo mostly focusing on his aim – Oikawa's serve was seriously pissing him off, it was too perfect. Several players glanced around, the sound of balls bouncing around lowering as less and less people focused on what they were doing. Some whispers and finally, Kuroo and Bokuto looked up and followed the others' gazes… towards a girl they recognized.

Tetsurou's eyes opened wide, mouth falling open, unable to move or do anything from how shocked he was to see _Saito Akane_ of _all_ people standing there, glancing around at the sweaty boys with a mix of uneasiness and forced disdain. Her usual behavior when in unknown territory.

"Wow… _who_ is that girl?" Oikawa asked in a low voice, everyone stunned to see such a girl they didn't know standing in the doorway of the gymnasium.

It wasn't rare for a girl to suddenly show up at their practice – almost everyday, there would be a girlfriend or friend or family coming over to see the boys practice… but once someone had said _"it's X's girlfriend"_ everyone would just recognize the girl and keep their eyes off. But when someone they didn't know came, and that no one reacted, it was _strange_.

Bokuto finally hit Kuroo in the ribs and he jumped forward with a strangled yelp.

"S-Saito!" He called.

She had probably already seen him but she glanced his way and waited for him. Under the burning gazes of his teammates, he hurried to her. Realizing it was an acquaintance of Kuroo, most went back to practicing their serves… but they kept a curious eye on the exchange.

"You, um, _wow_ , what a surprise, what the fuck are you doing here?" He said quickly, almost biting his tongue in his hurry.

She opened her lips to answer to him but her gaze was attracted to his side and he turned around. He wasn't even surprised to see Bokuto, Oikawa and Ushijima all gathered here, staring at Akane firmly. Bokuto was grinning widely, happy by her presence for some reason. Oikawa seemed extremely impatient to talk with her after everything he had heard about the "demon Akane" (she looked nothing like a demon, he thought). Ushijima just stood there, probably dragged by Bokuto. Or perhaps, with the amount of time the four of them were spending together, Ushiwaka had developed some sort of protective attachment to them (to Oikawa's great dislike) and was trying to make sure Kuroo's girl was a good person – even if she wasn't _his_ girl.

"Uuum…" Akane hesitated, uneasy under their vivid gazes.

Between the wide orbs of the one looking a hell lot like an owl, the sparkling eyes of the one who looked like he was about to vomit pretty sentences she'd find repulsive and the last one who looked half-way already into the land of the dead with his stern expression… or _lack_ of expression thereof… It was hard focusing on the one she had come for. Especially with the way Kuroo himself stared at her – all weird and curious and almost panicking. His body was moving lightly, showing his impatience to know her reasons to be here, arms nervously crossed over his chest.

 _Cute_ … she thought, staring at him.

She almost smiled, _almost_ but held it back, forcing herself to finally say something and mostly, to stop staring at Kuroo who was silently begging her to stop this torture.

"You dropped that…" She said, lifting up a wallet he recognized.

"That's… my wallet… where did you find it?" He asked, eyes widening.

"In front of the building? It was on the ground and when I opened it, I saw it was yours." She explained, giving it back to him.

He took it, a little stunned. He had been in a hurry when he had gone to practice. He remembered stuffing some of his stuff in his bag without being careful, he must have let his wallet fall off and not realize it. He had all of his papers and essentials in it, the idea of losing it was frightening and after his chest squeezing in panic, relief hit him to realize that he did not lose it at all… Thanks to Akane. Who had found it and brought it to him. Thank goodness it was Akane who had found it and not some asshole.

"It's… very nice of you… thank you…" He said in a low voice, staring at her with wide eyes, not believing she had come all the way here to bring him back his wallet.

He had a thousand questions but he could only stare at her. She glanced at him, surprised he'd thank her and would sound so grateful… it shook her off and after staring back at him, both getting lost in each other's gazes (the trio were glancing between the two, enjoying the show) Akane flushed a little and looked away.

"You're… well, you're welcome…" She answered, heart suddenly speeding up in her chest.

He continued staring at her, flushing a little as well – but it was just because of the panic he had felt at the idea of losing his wallet. _Obviously_.

Bokuto, Oikawa and Ushijima continued glancing between the two, the first two excitedly holding back their teasing. But eventually, it was too much and Bokuto broke the silence:

"Hey! I'm Bokuto Koutarou! We met once, you insulted me!" He exclaimed with a huge grin.

"I… vaguely remember, indeed…" She answered suspiciously, just as he threw his arm over Kuroo's shoulder, laughing at the stiff body of the poor former Captain of Nekoma, "And if I remember well, you eagerly defended your territory. You two are cute together." She said with a smile, no one knowing if she was mocking or earnest.

"Mmm? Thanks!"

Kuroo closed his eyes in shame, earning a confused look from Bokuto while Oikawa chuckled at the interaction.

"Bokuto… she didn't mean it like that." Kuroo growled, glaring at his friend.

Bokuto just stared back at him, then back at a smirking Akane, and back at Kuroo, shock appearing on his face.

"You think we're– NO! What the fuck! No! Eeew!" He exclaimed, stepping away from Kuroo at once.

"Thanks for this honest reaction…" Kuroo mumbled, giving him a slide glance.

"I only love Ayaka! Now and forever! Ayaka, she's my girlfriend and she's so sweet and beautiful! She's–"

"Okay, enough!" Kuroo exclaimed to stop him before he'd go all loveowls about his Ayaka.

"Ahah! She's great~! I'm Oikawa Tooru, by the way~!" He introduced himself, quickly approaching Akane.

"Ushijima Wakatoshi," the Super Ace added with a nod.

"But we don't care about him, he doesn't know how to hold a conversation." Oikawa remarked, earning a light glare from the Ace but they were used to this sort of behavior.

"…Saito Akane."

"I know, I heard a lot about you already~! Kurocchi talks about you _all_ the time!" He exclaimed, glancing teasingly at the Kuroo.

He startled and flushed, as Akane turned to him, lips falling open in astonishment:

"NOT! _All_ the time… just… _sometimes_ … when…"

His voice trailed off and he flushed, uncomfortable at the way his friends kept staring at him teasingly.

"H-how did you even find the gymnasium? A-and why did you bring me my wallet now? I could have just, _you_ could have waited at my place– I-I mean not at MY place! But _near_ my place! I mean in _your_ place which is… right next to mine…" He continued, cursing himself for actually being _flustered_.

His eyes widened in panic, pretty sure he was close to hyperventilating. He, _Kuroo Tetsurou_ , was _flushing_ and _flustered_ talking to a girl – to _Saito Akane_ of all girls! And his friends didn't stop staring at him teasingly, it was a _torture!_

"Well, I… I have to go to my job so I couldn't wait for you to come back… and there's your National player card in your wallet. The gymnasium you're affiliated to was written and I just had to look up the address on my phone… Considering it wasn't that far from my job, I thought I'd drop it on the way." She explained.

"Ah… that… makes sense. Wait– you have a _job?"_

"Part-time, I do what I can to survive," she said with a smirk.

"What job are you _doing?_ I can't imagine you doing anything that wouldn't annoy people." Kuroo said, actually surprised she'd get a part-time job because for students like them, it usually involved _people_ and Akane wasn't good with people.

She gave him an unamused face, but answered:

"I'm a waitress. I'll let you know that the customers are very satisfied with my work. And I actually have to go so…"

"Oh, sure… just… go then…" He said, before realizing it sounded incredibly rude.

She stared at him, glanced away then forced a smile and turned around, slowly walking away. Once she had disappeared from view, he let out a heavy sigh. Then, he glanced at his friends, all three staring at him with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?" Oikawa asked in disbelief.

"Go after her!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"W-why would I… go after her?"

"Because you can't let a young lady walk around so late at night! What if she's attacked?!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Firstly, even if it's getting late, we're in summer and the sun isn't down yet. Secondly, _believe me_ … you don't have to worry for her – she's perfectly capable of defending herself. If anything I'd worry for the poor guy who would try to assault her." He said confidently.

"I… can actually vouch for the second part," Bokuto added, recalling how scary she had been when he had first met her, "But! Just! Don't discuss and go after her!" He exclaimed, pushing him off.

"What for?!"

"To thank her properly for bringing your wallet back," Ushijima spoke up.

"Yes! Yes, good idea! _Surprising_ from _him_ but good idea!" Oikawa exclaimed, "Then you'll confess your undying love for her!"

"My _what?!"_ He hissed.

They pushed him and growling, he had no choice but to go after Akane just as she was exiting the building.

"Hey! OI! Aka… aaaito! Saito!" He called.

She stopped, turning around curiously. He awkwardly raised his wallet, as if waving at her as they stood there, just… standing in an awkward silence…

Finally… Akane glanced around then tilted her head to encourage him to say something as to _why_ he had gone after her so dramatically.

"…Yes?" She said, sounding impatient.

"UUUuum… Thank you for… bringing this back… so early, it kept me from freaking out so… thanks… a lot…"

Once again, she seemed surprised by his thankfulness… and he was surprised that she had been kind enough to go after him and give him his wallet back as soon as possible, even though she had to go to her part-time job…

She hesitated, pursing her lips together and looking up at the sky, as if looking for something snarky to say. But she really couldn't find anything good. So she just put her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and started walking backwards, a huge, giddy grin she couldn't explain on her face.

"You're welcome!" She exclaimed before spinning around and walking away.

Kuroo grinned like a fool as well, turning around and slowly going back to the gymnasium. He didn't realize Akane looking over her shoulder at him. And she didn't realize he glanced over his shoulder as well to glance one last time at her retreating figure… Like always, they didn't realize just how much they looked at each other and how, unconsciously, they would chase after each other.

He had definitely been surprised by her good deed. He supposed she wasn't a bad person, but with all of their rather tense, but funny, interactions, he had never considered her to be the _"kind type"._ Perhaps she wasn't so bad, after all…

"So? How did it go?" Bokuto asked excitedly, bouncing around him when Kuroo stopped quickly at the changing-room to put his wallet in his bag, safe and sound this time.

"Dude, I just _thanked_ her, what do you think happened?" He mumbled, rolling his eyes but he was still smiling a little, thinking back at her sheepish behavior at the end – it had been… _endearing_.

"Aaaaww… so disappointing…" Oikawa whined, pouting a little.

Kuroo threw him an annoyed look. Before shrugging:

"Well, it was weird, seeing her being normal, not trying to piss each other off… It was… nice. With a weird feeling, but nice."

" _Of course_ it was," Bokuto snorted, rolling his eyes at his friend's obliviousness.

"I just didn't expect her to be such a nice person."

"See, you can never judge a book from its cover. I'm sure you'd discover lots of other parts of her you'd end up liking if you admitted you have a crush on her." Bokuto said.

"I could definitely imagine parts he'd like~!" Oikawa teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oi, watch out, Casanova. You couldn't handle her in your wildest dreams." Kuroo said, pointing at him, slightly threatening – not that he was protective of Akane, _nope_.

"And _you_ could?!" He retorted, but Kuroo ignored him.

Bokuto stared firmly at Kuroo, surprised that for once… he didn't deny having a crush on her. Perhaps he _was_ growing accustomed to the idea of his crush on Saito Akane. _About_ _damn time._

Kuroo opened very quickly his wallet to check something before freezing, eyes wide.

"GEH! This…!" He hissed, making the two others look at him curiously, "I take it back! She's a witch! A _demon!_ How could I consider her a nice person even for _one_ second?!"

Bokuto and Oikawa got suddenly worried by what he had discovered in his wallet – but before they could ask what she might have taken from his wallet, he showed it to them. Everything was there, credit cards, various papers… and _more_. Both Bokuto and Oikawa had to bite on their lips to not laugh too loudly. There was a little message added by Akane, stuck to his wallet – she had actually used _glue_ to put it on, _damn it…!_

 _You dumb cat, lol_

Was beautifully written, with a doodle of a cat, with Kuroo's bed hair, sticking his tongue out at him.

"I can't believe she did this thing! Damn you Akane!" He exclaimed, trying to pull at the message… but it was very well glued to the inside of his wallet.

Thankfully, it wasn't glued on anything important as it had covered the part supposed to keep some pictures or paper… but from now on, he would be greeted by the dumb cat doodle _every time_ he'd open his wallet.

"It's actually kinda cute," Oikawa finally commented after they had laughed it off a bit – despite Kuroo _not_ laughing at all.

"Like… _'look at the message I left for only you to see, that's just how much I think of you my dumb cat~'!"_ Bokuto added, laughing.

"It really feels like you two play a game of mouse and cat~!" Oikawa hummed teasingly.

"Shut up! Both of you!" He hissed, throwing annoyingly his wallet in his bag and stomping his way back to the court.

They laughed even louder, imagining the victorious grin of Akane back at her job.

* * *

 _For the science part, I asked a friend of mine, who is chemist togive me a random product and amount fo grams lol. I have no idea what they used this for. Every time there'll be chemistry stuff, it'll probably be random and just to sound scientific but, I'm not going to put hours of research for two words, ahah... " And you're not ehre for the chemistry, but for Kuroo, right? ;)_

 _I think I'm going to do something for every chapter. I have entire playlists for the charactes' fanfictions so I'll put a song from the AkaKuro playlist at every chapter, random at times, sometimes fitting with the chapters. So here is the first song: **"Dangerously" Charlie Puth**_

 _Next chapter in two weeks: "WHAT THE FUCK" (Rreading this chapter titile I have no freaking idea of what I wrote in it so... literally, wtf? XD)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	5. What the Fuck

_Here is the new chapter!_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **Dina Sana** : You are so right! Akane truly is like "surprise bitch, I bet you thought yuo had seen the last of me!" But it's the same for Tetsu! XD_

 _ **PhantomSeekerz255** : Little by little we'll get ore of her pov, especially the chapters that are flashbacks (middle-school/high-school) ;)_

 _ **jungkookies** : I'll admimt that you got me wiht the chesmitry...between these two! :D Aaaah, I can't wait to reuse the doodle in his wallet to show the evolution of his feelings and their relationship! :D_

 _ **KirikaAndo** : After you mentioned it, it does remind me of Ao Haru Ride except that they didn't lose each other from sight, they spent the years in the same class. And I don't remember enough of KnB to tell! x)_

 _ **Web2theweb1** : Thanks for your review :)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : Non so si hai leggeto il capitolo 4 perché queste review è per il capitolo 3? Vedrai che significa il messagio di Akane in questo capitolo! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER V : What the Fuck

" _The fire blazing in her dark and injured heart seemed to glow around her like a flame."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned**

" _You can only actually help someone who wants to be helped."_

— **Jojo Moyes, Me Before You**

"I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive."

— **Unknown**

" _I tell myself I am searching for something. But more and more, it feels like I am wandering, waiting for something to happen to me, something that will change everything, something that my whole life has been leading up to."_

— **Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed**

" _But just because you bury something, that doesn't mean it stops existing. Those feelings, they'd been there all along. All that time."_

— **Jenny Han, We'll Always Have Summer**

"We have some history together that hasn't _happened_ yet."

— **Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad**

" _He would almost call this feeling for Jeannette hate, if he were not so afraid it was love."_

― **Karen Harper, The First Princess of Wales**

" _I get so breathless, when you call my name,_

 _I've often wondered, do you feel the same?_

 _There's a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity_

 _When we're all alone."_

― **Corinne Bailey Rae**

" _Though I may seem at times somewhat distant from you, through the gray mist of my own moods, I am never far; my thoughts always circle around you."_

— **Friedrich Nietzsche**

" _Why do people need to understand everything?"_

— **Virginia Woolf, Selected Diaries**

" _Something was and wasn't there between us,_

 _something went on and went away."_

— **Wislawa Szymborska, "First Love"**

Tetsurou didn't expect to suddenly stop breathing, without warning, when he exited his apartment. Thinking he was having a vision, he did a double-take and rubbed his sleepy eyes and realized that he wasn't dreaming.

Akane was standing there, leaning against the railway and staring at the horizon. The sun was about to come up, the sky was a strange color between night color, purple, blue as if it couldn't decide how to look – Tetsurou always tried to go running so that he'd get to see the sunrise. It was the first time he was crossing path with Akane though, and _what a vision._ She was wearing nothing else but a sleeveless shirt and panties and _gods_ he felt his entire body tingle at the view. Was this how she slept at night? Because he wouldn't be able to _not_ think about it when he'll be in bed from now on. Very catholic and proper night thinking, of course.

She still hadn't noticed him, but he was surprised once again when she raised her hand, a cigarette going to her lips. He didn't know she was smoking, he hadn't expected her _to_. She breathed out the smoke and he finally reacted, putting on his smug face:

"It's not good for your health, you know." He started with his usual _I-know-better_ tone.

Akane didn't even seem surprised – she hadn't noticed him, but she was too tired to even startle. She just turned around to him and took another breath of the cigarette, her long red nails shining with the sky slowly lightening.

He leaned against the railway and looked over at her as she stayed the same, only moving her hand to smoke.

"I don't need a speech about the dangers of smoking, Kuroo. I know them all by heart." She replied after a moment, looking over at the sky turning purple.

She smoked again, keeping the taste of cigarette in her mouth.

"You've been smoking for a long time?" He asked, a mix of curiosity and reprimand in his voice.

"A while."

"Long enough for it to be an addiction, or do you smoke only every once in a while?" He continued, raising an eyebrow at the cigarette burning between her fingers.

She turned to him, pondering this question.

"It depends. It helps me to clear up things. I smoke when I feel like I'm in the middle of some cloudy mist."

As she spoke, smoke escaped her lips and she breathed out the last of it, turning her head away to make sure Kuroo wouldn't breathe it. She knew how much he hated cigarettes and anything that would endanger someone's health. He was an athlete and valued the well-being of his body more than anything.

"Funny because to me, it looks like the cloud is coming from the cigarette you're smoking." He replied, earning a side smile from the girl as she kept waiting for the sun to come up.

The sky was now light blue, they could feel the sun rising without it appearing yet.

"Perhaps. I haven't had my ideas clear in a long time." Akane said with a nonchalant shrug.

There was a moment of silence with only the sizzling sound of the cigarette as she breathed it in, and the morning birds chirping happily in the nearby trees.

"If you don't have your ideas clear, let me enlighten you: you're ruining your life and health smoking like that." He said with an annoyed sigh.

"Ruining my life, uh…" She repeated thoughtfully, bringing the cigarette up to her lips but she stopped before it'd reach her mouth when he talked again.

"You don't think your life is worth it?" He asked, sounding almost hopeful.

He could never understand why someone would purposefully smoke and ruin their lungs, slowly killing themselves… But he could understand people using the addiction of tobacco to forget their troubles, to cloud the hurt or monotony of their lives… And as he looked over at Akane, her pale skin, her dull gaze, her messy hair… It felt an awful lot like her life didn't matter to her, as if… she had lost all hopes and dreams. She stood there, she was breathing and alive but Kuroo felt like he was watching a lifeless doll, repeating her everyday life like a broken record with no expectation for the future.

Surprised by his question, Akane blinked then her cigarette finished the few centimeters that had separated it from her lips. She breathed it, the sizzling sound resonating as if it was her life she was slowly burning away.

" _You_ tell me. Is there anything worth living for in my case?" She asked, showing herself by spreading her arms.

A smile played on her lips, as if amused at whatever he'd say. Or amused at the fact that he would not find an answer. But something hopeful was burning in her gaze.

Kuroo slowly straightened up and looked right into her eyes:

"You won't know it unless you live for tomorrow – and smoking is doing nothing else but killing you. If you want something worth living for… try something else than cigarettes?"

"Like what?" She said, still looking amused.

Kuroo looked over at the sky. It now had this strange color that wasn't quite a color nor white. Not quite blue, not quite yellow, not quite anything. The dull moment before the sun appeared and the sky turned blue. The dull moment before life got a meaning.

"How about whenever you feel like smoking, you tell yourself 'I love myself and I value my life'?" He proposed, glancing at her.

Akane was obviously not expecting that, staring at him with questions and amazement swirling in her eyes. But her only reaction was her lips quirking up in a mix of sadness, awe and realization.

Then, her door opened and they both turned towards it, a young man, wearing just his underwear, standing there.

"Akane, come back in," he said in a sleepy voice.

Tetsurou's heart missed a beat, he wasn't sure why, but he couldn't help but swallow and look away, feeling uncomfortable.

The man noticed him, and seemed to realize they had been talking. He looked back at Akane, raising an eyebrow to ask her a silent question as to who was this guy with messy hair. Akane looked down then turned off her cigarette against the railing. She glanced quickly at Kuroo, not sure what to do or what to say…

He couldn't meet her eyes as she turned away, but before she could leave, she looked up at Tetsurou:

"Thank you… for the advice." She said in a voice as low as possible.

Tetsurou turned to her, about to answer but unfortunately, the guy had heard, and he grabbed her wrist, yanking her forward and kissing her forehead.

"Come on in, I want you," he said, glancing quickly at Kuroo.

Making sure to look right into his eyes, he touched Akane's behind, pushing her into her place before closing the door.

Kuroo looked back at the sun, now up and chasing the night away. He clicked his tongue annoyingly, leg bouncing before he turned around and went for his run that didn't help him relax at all.

 _A few days later…_

Kuroo swore to himself when he dropped some of his sandwich on his lap while he was balancing his notes during lunch, on a bench on the university grounds. Why was gravity always betraying him at the worst of times? He quickly took some more big mouthful, famished after the long and intense class they had had. He had another class in the afternoon, this time with Akane, and he was impatient to see her. Not for the sake of _actually_ seeing her, _obviously_ , but simply because he had finally found the _perfect_ prank to get her back after the dumb cat doodle accident.

He had noticed that she always left her bag on her right, just on the stairs and she was so focused on the lesson that she never noticed he was using it to put his foot on when his right leg felt tingly from the cramped up place. Which meant she didn't take notice of her bag at all. Which meant he could discreetly take it and do whatever he wanted without her noticing.

He hungrily swallowed the last bits of his sandwich, getting impatient and unable to focus on his notes anymore. How will she react when she'll realize his prank? She'll probably have her offended expression on her face and it'd make him laugh, which would betray him but the hot glare she'd send his way would be worth it. It always made him feel livelier, make him want to laugh even more and he knew that despite her stubborn and angry expression… her lips always tilted up a little before she'd frown even more. Even if they were always teasing each other and trying to piss each other off, they always enjoyed it all, in a nice way. It was strange… since when did he consider Akane's presence as nice? As enjoyable? Perhaps he had been so focused on the idea that after high-school they would never see each other, that the relief and gladness to have an acquaintance among the fellow students brought this joy… and not just any acquaintance but the person who always pushed him further when it came to science. He might not be so passionate about it if she hadn't been the one to inspire him. It wasn't hard to realize that despite what he might say, Akane was one of the few people who made him smile and laugh so much. Not just a random laugh or smile but every time she was around, he was certain to get excited. He'd always feel all warm and happy on the inside, his stomach doing flip-flops when she'd mischievously glance his way. The way her eyes sparkled, the way she put her cheek against her hand when she got bored and went off to some faraway dreamland… The way she bit on her lower lip when she was happy or excited about something, keeping off her smile and grin even though she looked lovely when she did so. How he wished he would be the one to bite on her lower lip, to just feel the taste of her lips – he bet she tasted like cherry. It was so hot just thinking _of_ …

His eyes widened and his heart accelerated. Tetsurou straightened so suddenly, a panicked cry escaping his lips, that his notes fell off his lap and he scared a poor group of pigeon who flew off.

 _What the fuck…?! What the fuck am I thinking about?! What the fuck?! What the fuck?! What the fuuuuuck?!_

He fell on his knees to gather his notes in a hurry, heart beating wildly, trying to find a _good_ reason why his thoughts had gone _so_ off-tracked! What the fuck?! Thinking of Akane this way? Thinking of _kissing_ Akane?! What was wrong with him?!

He let out a heavy breath, holding onto the side of the bench to try and gather his thoughts. He had tried kissing her _once_ … he still remembered how _intense_ he had felt back then…

His frenetic moves slowed down and he let the memories flood back in, hoping he'd find the solution to his problem he couldn't solve at the moment. It was about a year ago, after the Fukurodani Academy training group… He had gone, like every year, at the summer festival near Nekoma High-school. He had ended up separated from his friends and by some twist of fate, ended up with Akane, teaming up with her to some stupid competition. They had spent a surprisingly good time together and then… she had freaked out because of someone in the crowd and _then_ …

" _Saito." He called, remaining still but observing her._

 _She pretended to ignore him, to not know him even and he felt annoyed not to feel annoyed by her quiet rejection._

" _Saito, look at me," Kuroo said._

 _Still no sign of life from her, she was as still as a statue and he definitely didn't understand a thing she was doing. He could understand her the way nobody else would, he knew things no one else did… and yet, she was still a mystery. A beautiful mystery. A beautiful mess…_

 _Tetsurou grabbed her arm and turned her around and finally, she reacted, looking up at him and immediately trying to get away from him._

" _What are you–"_

 _Her scream was cut short when he pulled her against him and he leaned down. Akane stopped breathing, eyes widening while his arms engulfed her and his crazy hair tickled her cheek and neck._

" _Whoever is looking for you… won't see you if you're hidden in my arms…" Tetsurou mumbled, closing his eyes and frowning at himself._

 _Her lips trembled when she heard these words. He had understood, without a word, without even a glance at her gaze or her expression, he had understood…_

" _I'm not… it means nothing, okay?" He tried to grumble, but it didn't sound convincing._

 _Akane's heart beat faster, in relief and joy to be understood by someone._ _ **No**_ _, not someone._ _ **Kuroo Tetsurou**_ _. Her cheeks grew hotter and her hands trembled before_ _ **slowly**_ _, she reached to hold onto the back of his shirt._

" _It… it means nothing… okay…?" She breathed, closing her eyes._

 _Tetsurou closed his eyes tight as he pulled her even closer to him, making sure his tall and big body would cover hers completely, that she wouldn't be noticed or recognized by whoever was looking for her. His right hand brushed the length of her back until it rested against the back of her head, forcing their embrace to be tighter – so that her face wouldn't be seen. His left hand rested on her hip before he surrounded her waist pressing her body to his– so that her kimono pattern couldn't be recognized._

 _They were so close they could feel each other's body heat, their heartbeats resonating frenetically. Tetsurou took a breath in, not realizing that, eyes closed, he was brushing his nose against the top of her head. She smelled of apple and cinnamon, he had never noticed before. Akane recognized the scent of this deodorant men loved so much and even if it usually disgusted her, when it was mixed with Tetsurou's natural scent it was… entrancing. He had never noticed how much she had grown over the past six years and he finally realized that under her school uniform, and under this kimono, she had feminine curves pressing to his firm muscles._

"… _I had never realized you have grown so tall…" She whispered, voice smothered by his chest._

" _I had never realized you… have become a woman…" He answered, "What cup is it? C?" He asked, trying to lighten the mood but it wasn't heavy with tension as it usually was – what was it? What was this_ _ **something**_ _in the air, between them?_

" _You'll never_ _ **ever**_ _know the answer…" She grumbled._

 _His lips tilted upwards, in an amused smile. Only she could be as stubborn as he was. And as teasing._

 _He continued brushing his nose against her hair, not realizing that his left hand was softly caressing her sides. Akane didn't say a thing, either she didn't notice, or she didn't mind. He didn't even know what he thought of his gestures – he didn't do it on purpose, he just couldn't help it. He would probably never be that physically close to Akane ever again. Perhaps he was just curious. Yes, that was it, he was curious. Just curious…_

 _Safe in his arms, it was only when Akane made a similar gesture with her nose against his chest that Tetsurou stopped breathing, realizing what he was doing. They were acting like they_ _ **were…!**_ _Like a_ _ **couple!**_ _It was wrong! So_ _ **wrong!**_ _It was Saito Akane, he_ _ **couldn't…!**_

 _Remembering the reason why he had taken her in his arms to begin with, he forced his body to remain still to not ruin it all._

" _Is he… is he gone?" He asked in a breath, suddenly impatient to end it as fast as possible._

 _Akane moved slightly to look around discreetly, then nodded. She looked up just as he looked down and their eyes met. There was a moment suspended in time and space before they realized they were staring into each other's eyes and they both pulled away suddenly._

 _They blushed and looked away, not quite knowing what to do with their hearts beating so fast._

 _Tetsurou was the first to look back at Akane, blushing almost_ _ **adorably**_ _if he didn't know better… It was_ _ **Saito Akane**_ _. But she didn't seem to be the same Saito Akane who always argued with him, who always competed with him… She seemed… more like herself even though he had no idea_ _ **who**_ _she_ _ **really**_ _was, now that he thought of it._

 _Sensing an intense gaze on her, Akane looked up and stopped breathing. Tetsurou's golden eyes were burning through her, as if he was trying to read her soul. Legs trembling, she felt under a spell of some sort even if it made no sense at all._

 _Tetsurou moved, his hand going up to cup her cheek. He brushed her skin, already leaning down but suddenly, Akane reached out and she grabbed the first mask she'd find and put it in front of her face. Tetsurou faced a cat mask, not knowing how to interpret this reaction. Akane had put this mask to protect herself and her heart and to hide her blushing cheeks._

" _Saito–" He started, starting to feel annoyed by her constantly running away._

 _ **Why do I not want her running away anyway?**_ _He thought without his body catching up with what his mind was saying considering he had just leaned down to ki… kis… urgh, he couldn't even think the word._

 _Akane suddenly whipped around, threw the money for the mask to the seller who had watched the whole scene then before Tetsurou had time to understand what had happened, she turned away and ran off._

" _Saito, wait!" He called, trying to follow her._

 _But she was faster than he would have expected and she disappeared in the crowd. He took a step after her before freezing and sighing, not understanding anything of what had happened tonight._ _ **Everything**_ _that had happened with Akane. It had been…_ _ **it had been…**_ _unlike themselves… Or rather… because they were just the two of them, they had dropped the masks they usually kept on in high-school and had acted following their…_ _ **whatever it was**_ _they had followed. Instincts? Lust? Feelings? The idea of having…_ _ **nope**_ _. Not possible._

After that, he had bottled up the strange feelings he had discovered that night and tried his hardest to forget about it. Of course, the human body and human mind didn't work that way. After that, every time he'd see her, he'd think back on this moment before blinking and shrugging it off. Every time his body would react with warmth filling him – a peaceful sort of warmth, nothing compared to the lustful fire he felt when he got too close to a girl. He was forced to eventually admit that whatever he had felt that night wasn't a one-time thing, it wasn't even the first time he had felt it, but he had always shrugged it off. And he kept doing so despite Bokuto constantly teasing him about having a "crush" on Akane. Pfff, ridiculous idea, _really_ … a _crush_ … _ridiculous_ …

Feeling a little dizzy from how intensely he was thinking, trying to find another explanation that would make actual sense, Kuroo didn't look where he was going, letting his feet instinctively take him to his next class… until he bumped into someone at a corner.

"Ah, sor– what the… fuck…" He murmured, recognizing the person he had bumped into.

His heart went wild again – here he was, thinking madly about Akane and who did he bump into? _Saito Akane!_ Damn coincidences. He could almost hear Bokuto screaming that it was 'fate'.

"Glad to see you too, Kuroo… tch…" She answered, huffing annoyingly.

He stared at her and he blinked before pushing away some of the hair falling over his eye… but no. He wasn't dreaming…

"What… the… actual fuck?" He repeated, staring at her with wide eyes.

"What?" She said, sounding annoyed.

But she actually looked up at him expectantly. She had cut her hair. Or rather, she had changed her hairstyle. He had known her with long, silky hair, then she had cut it off to her jaws, keeping this hairstyle for years. He had noticed her hair growing longer recently, just above her shoulders, but he hadn't thought about it twice… and now… _now_ …

" _Wow_ …" He let out before he could control himself, the strange warmth filling him again… mixed with a tangling feeling he was _very_ familiar with and a sensation _not_ welcome at the moment.

She had totally changed her hairstyle. Most of her length was pushed over her left side, going down in a flow of black hair while the right side was very short, almost shaved off. There were some vivid red streaks mixing with the black hair. It was a hairstyle more and more common with people, but it was… _more… more Akane-ish._

Akane stared back at him, not willing to admit how happy she felt to see his expression, but she couldn't hold back the smug look appearing on her face.

"I thought you preferred long hair on a girl?" She teased, her lips smiling lovingly.

His eyes stared at her red lips a little too long because she noticed and stared right into his eyes. He flushed and swallowed hard, a sparkling _something_ filling the air between them. Both could feel it, surrounding them, flowing in their veins but they refused to admit it. To put a name on the tension they were feeling.

"I… do. Which is why it's a shame you cut your hair so many years ago." He said, trying to sound confident but his voice… just came out tense.

"You really think it's a shame?" She asked, her voice low.

He stopped breathing, it was as if the world had stopped spinning and that the flow of students around them didn't exist. It was as if there were only Tetsurou and Akane, staring at each other for long, _long_ , _insanely_ long seconds.

When Tetsurou didn't answer right away, Akane made the slightest of move forward, confidently standing straight, knowing it showed her cleavage. Her smile reappeared when she noticed his eyes flickering to her cleavage, to her lips then back into her eyes, something wild appearing in his while her reddish eyes started sparkling mischievously, knowing very well the effect she had on him.

"Because from the way you're looking at me, _you_ should be the one feeling shame…" She continued, voice low enough to force him to listen closely without it being a whisper – just loud enough for it to be tempting, but not giving enough to be satisfying.

He looked back into her eyes and for a moment, something remained in the air – the silent question they were both asking themselves and each other.

 _Are we really doing this?_

They both knew that it was something they had never done before, it was a different kind of teasing, a _sinful_ teasing. They could do it but doing it to each other seemed _different_ , like heathen territory… But she had taken the first step towards it, and he would be damned if he didn't keep up.

Then, Kuroo seemed to throw away all common sense and catching up to her little game, he smirked, just as seductively as she did:

"Ah yeah? Shame isn't something I'm familiar with." He answered in the same tone she was using – seductive.

"Perhaps I should teach it to you, then?"

" _Please_ , you'd be begging for mercy within _seconds_ …" He whispered.

"Are you sure _I_ would be the one begging for mercy…?"

They held their breaths, not quite knowing where this was going but enjoying it too much to stop. Before Tetsurou could say anything, Akane continued, getting closer once again, her breasts brushing his chest. Just enough for his body to react in the slightest but not enough to get too touchy in public.

"I can see it in your eyes… the image you just imagined… your fingers grasping my hair, loving the way it'd be so easy to hold in your hands while _you_ are begging for mercy…"

He let out a heavy breath, his golden eyes shining as he looked straight into her reddish eyes.

"Are you sure it's not your own desire… Akane?" He asked instead.

She stopped breathing when he called her by her first name… and even if she had stared at his face, at his eyes, during the whole exchange, the burning gaze driving him mad… for the first time she glanced at his lips and seemed to be the one shaken up. He smirked, realizing _he_ was the one playing with her this time.

"If you want me so badly, you can just admit it… I won't blame you, promise…" He continued.

She looked back into his eyes, something he couldn't quite understand shining in her eyes but knowing he had the same gaze. She made the slightest of move with her chin and he was about to lean down, excitement almost making him bouncy when–

"Akane!"

She startled and stepped away from Kuroo, both turned away, the mood gone while a guy approached. It was the unknown guy from the other morning. He glanced quickly at Kuroo, something close to threatening in his eyes but innocent enough so that his smile would seem friendly.

"Yo. You know him?" He asked Akane, draping an arm over her shoulders, possessively.

She stiffened and looked away, blushing. Kuroo couldn't tell if it was because she had been caught flirting with him or because of the casual touch of the guy…

"J-just… no, not really…" She answered in a hushed voice.

Tetsurou turned towards her, eyes wide, not believing the words that had escaped her mouth. It felt like a punch in the stomach, his heart missing a beat. He almost wavered backwards but managed to still his body.

That she'd say they were _"just friend", "just acquaintances"_ or _"someone from high-school"_ or _"someone from my class"_ would sting… but that she pretended that they didn't really know each other just _hurt_. No matter how she felt for him, whether it was dislike or not – and he'd think _not_ after six years in the same class together and what had just happened between them – she couldn't say _"not really"._ They _knew_ each other! They have been in the same class for six, now _seven_ years! They had competed against each other in every possible way! They were the greatest rivals! She couldn't just look away from him after they had openly _flirted_ with each other and pretend they barely knew each other! It was just _wrong!_

As if sensing the hurt, accusing gaze he sent her way, Akane very quickly glanced at him but before he could even identify the confusing emotions in her eyes, she looked away.

"Oh, okay. Then nice meeting you! Perhaps I'll see you around!" The guy exclaimed, obviously reassured to not have to worry about the two.

He pulled Akane forward and they walked past Kuroo who remained still.

After long seconds of walking away from him, Akane glanced over her shoulder but Tetsurou was walking in the opposite direction. A tight grip on her shoulder and she was forced to look forward once again, swallowing hard, guilt for making Kuroo feeling so bad weighing her down.

Kuroo walked quickly, with long strides, like he usually did, perhaps a tiny bit faster to reveal his hurry but he went straight into the restrooms of the nearest building. He hurried in it, the few guys in here glancing at him curiously but he ignored them. He pushed the water open then put his head just under it, letting the cold water send shocking sensations against his neck and along his hot face. His hair was wet and his shirt too, but he didn't care, staring hard at the water disappearing in the pipes.

He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to think about having feelings for Akane. He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to _flirt_ with her. He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to feel _hurt_ by her rejection.

The water automatically stopped falling onto his head and now cooled down, from his storm of confusing feelings and from his anger, he straightened up. He wiped his face off with his shirt, then, still ignoring the guys staring at him, vaguely worried, he walked out of the restrooms as if nothing had happened. He totally ignored the people glancing at him when they saw him walking around, wet hair flopping around his head and shirt sticking to his abs. Some even just stopped walking to let him pass, obviously mistaking his intense, flustered gaze for anger.

He entered the amphitheater for his next class, Akane wasn't here yet, which was good. He hoped she'd never show her face ever again. He sat down and shook his hair a little, arranging it – well, it was mostly going back into its constant bed hair anyway… Thankfully there weren't enough people to create weird rumors about him. He hoped.

Not long later, more people arrived and filled the seats and among them, Akane who kept looking down and hurried to her usual seat… Just in front of Kuroo. She didn't even glance his way, she probably didn't even _notice_ him.

Feeling pissed off by her constant, silent rejection, and annoyed he'd feel this way because of her, Tetsurou waited for the class to be well started before putting his foot on her bag, like he always did. She didn't notice, like always. He tried to observe as closely as possible her reaction, he even hit the side of her table with his foot but nothing, she was too focused on the…

Actually, _no_. She wasn't even focused on what the teacher was saying… She just kept her cheek against her hand, the way he usually found cute, but her eyes looked far away… She was even more distracted than usual. Was it because of what had happened earlier? Their flirting and then being suddenly interrupted by the guy? Or was it because of what she had said about him…?

Tetsurou huffed to himself, shaking his head. He didn't care, it was only more reason to go on with his trick as revenge.

He leaned down, using his long limbs to his advantages and grabbing her bag that he pulled to him. She didn't notice anything. Silently, he took out her notebooks, putting them aside, then he put in some he had brought himself. They looked similar enough that, unless she tried to open them, she wouldn't realize it wasn't her notebooks. Then, he put her bag back to her side, without Akane ever noticing anything and he hid her notebooks in _his_ bag.

At the end of the day, he was sitting on his bed, rereading some stuff when he heard, thanks to the incredibly thin walls, Akane go back to her place. He listened closely and after a few minutes of almost total silence, he heard her scream. He started grinning until he heard her footsteps stomping, her door clacking then his own door was flung open just as he covered his notes. And there she was, red from fury and entering without a care in the world.

"Where are my notebooks, Kuroo?!" She hissed, throwing at him the three notebooks he had put to replace hers, knowing that only _one_ person would do such a thing.

"No need to get violent," he answered casually, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're going to pretend you're not the one who replaced my notebooks with these… these stupidities?!" She exclaimed, pointing at the sad looking notebooks on the floor.

"Well, I have a big stupidity in my wallet so…"

She actually looked surprised that it was because of the wallet trick and not because of what had happened earlier… but of course he would have needed time to prepare all three notebooks. Covered in cats' doodles and stupid words. _All three of them._

"They're on the table," he mumbled when he noticed she didn't react.

She glanced around and finally found her notebooks, checking it was hers then turning around to leave, with slow steps. She was filled with some sort of unexplainable sleepiness, as if her concept of reality had gone off the moment she had entered Kuroo's place and she had seen him look down and try to get rid off her as soon as possible. Usually he would have teased her more, annoyed her more before giving back the notebooks… but it was like he was trying to reject her as harshly as she had done this afternoon. But it didn't anger or annoy her, it was just sad.

She was thankful that he couldn't catch her sad and distraught expression, feeling overwhelmed by this place and Kuroo and his feelings and _her_ feelings…

"That guy… was he the one back at the summer festival?" He asked before she could leave.

She glanced over her shoulder but couldn't hide all that she felt and he caught sight of her distress. Whether it was because of the whole mess they had become in so little time, or his question, he couldn't tell… She looked down and shook her head no. But it didn't make him feel reassured. She left, strangely quiet. And he leaned against the wall connected to her place.

After a moment of pause, he pulled away the notes he had used to cover what he had been reading. Back at the notes he had taken from the various books he had used… about Morse code and Wabun code.

 _What the fuck, Akane…?_ He thought, passing a hand over his face and into his hair now that he had checked several times what he believed he had translated right.

Her light tapping against his wall, almost every night… as he had expected, it had been Morse code… but… _but what the fuck…?_ It didn't make any sense.

 _I love you_ – It said.

* * *

 _You know what the message means, Kuroo doesn't understand where it's coming from tho. First real flriting. For the summer festival scene, it's an extract from my other fanfic, Sowlmates, in which the chapter "Beautiful Mess" introduced this sotory - some of you have read the chapter already for the ones who followed me here; for the new ones, you can read this chapter in its entirety if you want to know the details! ;)_

 _Today's song is... "The scientist" - Corinne Bailey Rae_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : THE GEM'S (I loved writing this chapter, so I hope you'll love it too! ALso! IWA-CHAN)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	6. The Gem's

_I really need to advance on Quiet Voice, so there might not be another chapter of Beautiful Disaster for a little while for that reason._

 _Thank yout o everyone who followed and favortied and reviewed! :D It was very funny that many of you reacted more to Iwa-chan being in this chapter than to the "I love you" XD_

 _Also, i was asked in **which chapters of Sowlmates, Akane appears so here is the list (hopefully without forgetting any important moments) : 84; 89; 92** (the epilogue isn't added because it'ss, well, the epilogue but there is AkaKuro moments and references too)_

 _For once I'm putting the song at the beginning of the chapter because it's a song that fits with the atmosphere of most of the chapter, and a moment in particular: **"Private Show" from the Llittle Mix** \- and the entire album of GLORY DAYS fits AkaKuro AND many of the songs fit this chapter, so go ahead~!_

 _ **jungkookies** : Happy birthday late! :D Yes Iwa-chan is here, and so is Kiku; and I'm not ti was a "confession" if we stick to the definition of a confession but, well~ I'm glad you like Akane as an OC! ;)_

 _ **KirikaAndo** : Yes, he is! ;D_

 _ **Marie798** : Their story is going very quickly compared to Sowlmates and Quiet Voice; and Hajime is here... ;)_

 _ **LuxKlara** : La loro relazione è molto fisica, sopratutto al inizio. questo capitolo è ancora, una prova della loro fisicale relazione. Tutte le tue domande erano rispondetti negli futuri capitoli! ;) _

_**Kara-Fire21** : I'm so happy to know you read Sowlmate and liked Kuroo enough to follow me to another fanfiction! :D Don't worry about mistakes, your English is very good! :D_

 _ **PhantomSeekerz255** : Ahah, it's fine! x) I'm so happy Akane seems to be so liked by everyone, I was woried because she's so different from my other OCs! To know which chapters she appears in Sowlmate, I put i above for everyone to see! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER VI : The Gem's

" _The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow."_

— **Unknown**

" _To love is to recognize yourself in another."_

— **Eckhart Tolle**

" _I want you any way I can get you. Not because you're beautiful or clever or kind or adorable, although devil knows you're all those things. I want you because there's no one else like you, and I don't ever want to start a day without seeing you."_

— **Lisa Kleypas**

" _You made me feel like I was crazy. But I think I was just in love."_

— **Kristie Betts**

" _Eye contact: how souls catch fire."_

— **Yahia Lababidi, "Aphorisms"**

" _It is only once in a while that you see someone whose electricity and presence matches yours at that moment."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew."_

— **Unknown**

" _When I'm with you I don't breathe quite right."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love of the Last Tycoon**

" _Chemistry is you touching my arm and it setting fire to my mind."_

— **Nayyirah Waheed, Flood**

Akane was trying not to look over her shoulder but it was hard, she could feel _him_ staring so intensely it was driving her crazy. Finally, she cracked and turned around despite being in the middle of a class:

"Why do you keep staring at me, Kuroo?!" She hissed, low enough to not be heard by anyone else.

Tetsurou seemed surprised by her sudden outburst, but didn't say anything, his eyes widening very lightly… He kept staring at her, cheek against his hand, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He had checked times and times again and yet, he always found the same result. With her constant tapping against his wall, he had understood it was some sort of code and after trying out several codes, with the Wabun code, he had figured out what she was saying. He had been curious but he hadn't expected such a thing and now he didn't know what to expect anymore – from Akane _and_ himself.

 _I love you_

Flushing, unable to look any longer into her reddish eyes, Tetsurou looked away. Akane kept staring at him, mouth opening and closing and finally, she sighed and turned back towards class. Even without seeing her face, he could sense her frustration. He swallowed hard, wanting to bury his face against his arms but knowing it'd be noticed and it wasn't what he wanted at the moment. For once, he wanted to keep it low, from Akane and everyone else.

His fingers that were hanging from the edge of the table, just behind her shoulder, trembled. He wanted to tap it to annoy her like he usually did – the same tapping she did against his wall. She always reacted to it before shrugging it off as some of his weirdness. He had never understood why she'd react this way. Now he _knew_. His fingers trembled and even though he was dying to tap it out… he couldn't and ended up closing his fist tight in frustration and confusion.

He hadn't dared share his discovery with anyone yet, but it was plaguing his mind and he _needed_ to let it out to someone – but Kenma was busy with his third-year and wouldn't know how to help him out (relationship stuff wasn't his forte), Bokuto would already start planning a wedding, Oikawa would get overexcited and probably overthink things, Ushijima would… well, he was Ushijima.

Which was why…

"Are you joking?" Yaku Morisuke asked with wide eyes.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Kuroo replied, finally letting his confusion show on his face.

Yaku stared at him, mouth opening and closing before getting lost in thoughts, brows furrowed as he thought deeply.

Yaku and Kuroo hadn't always gotten along well, especially during their first-year of high-school, they were too different. But because they were so different with a common goal, they worked so well on the same team they grew into close friends. Also, being so different from him, Yaku was sure to have a different and new opinion on the matter haunting his mind at the moment: Saito Akane. Tetsurou's mind was _filled_ with Saito Akane _all_ the bloody time…!

"Are you sure it wasn't a mistake? Maybe it was another code, or you misheard something? Or…" He theorized.

"I'm _certain!_ I _checked!_ I tried other codes but it didn't work and, even if it _were_ another code, what are the chances that in Wabun it'd work out and make an actual sentence that has sense?!"

"Mmm…" The libero hummed.

He took a sip from his tea, glancing around thoughtfully. He was currently studying to become a nurse – a rare job for men that had gotten him to get teased by his former teammates and friends but so far, despite the exhaustion, he was enjoying his choice. Yaku remembered the last two years of high-school he had spent in the same class as Kuroo… and Saito Akane. Even without being their classmate, it was hard ignoring these two. The two science prodigies who constantly competed with each other. The two fated rivals who could never get enough. He thought back on all the smirks and competitive spirit and eyes sparkling with determination…

"Well… if you look at your relationship from _this_ angle… it makes sense." He finally said, looking back at his friend.

"…No! It _doesn't!_ It doesn't make any sense, which is why I'm asking for _your_ guidance! For once, I need _your_ advice! Akane and I spent years competing, we can never get along, we're… we're! We're so… so _different!"_ He exclaimed with wide eyes.

Yaku scoffed at that:

" _Please_ , Akane is you, as a _woman_. There is no one more like you than this girl! You _did_ spend years competing and annoying each other, but imagine you'd fall in love with someone who believes you're his rival – how would you act then? Would you suddenly bat your eyelashes at him?"

He paused carefully before continuing, letting his words sink for Kuroo:

"You'd be excited just to have his attention, and if his attention is by arguing, annoying him and competing, then you'd go all out. So, let's suppose she's been in love with you for some time, wouldn't it explain her behavior towards you? Didn't you tell me back in our second-year that Akane was getting more and more competitive with you and you had to work even harder to keep up with her? Maybe it's around the time she realized she was in love with you – and the way you behaved towards her probably didn't help the poor girl!" He exclaimed with an amused chuckle at the turn of events.

Tetsurou opened and closed his mouth, trying to find something to reply. But as Yaku had said, if he were to fall in love with someone who had been his rival – such as Akane – he'd never have the courage to act on his feelings. Perhaps eventually he'd get too frustrated and would follow his heart but he'd spend an awfully long time pretending the feelings didn't even exist. Akane and him had thought that after high-school, they'd never see each other again, which might be why she would have never changed behavior towards him, _but_ fate had other plans in mind and they ended up not just classmates but _neighbors_.

 _Worse_ , now that he considered things from this angle, he recalled so many moments that he had ignored back then… long stares (he had though she was picking a fight), blushed cheeks (he had thought it might have been annoyance), stammering (he had thought she was overwhelmed by his handsome looks) and so much more.

 _Even worse_ , now that he thought on the way she had acted, he realized that _he_ had mirrored her behavior most of the time. He couldn't deny it, he had acted the same way she had. Was it on purpose to keep up with her? Was it because he was starting to feel something too? Their second-year – it was right around his story with Minamoto Kohaku, his first girlfriend, the only one he kept for a long time and the one who broke his trust in love, real or not. Did it have anything to do with all of this?

"…What a mess…!" He muttered, hiding his face into his hands while Yaku fought back his laugh.

"You know… there were numerous times when I wondered if there wasn't something going on between you two. I don't think I was the only one, but then, you started dating Kohaku and you didn't change your behavior towards Akane so I had assumed…"

His voice trailed off as Kuroo looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Don't say it, don't you _dare_ say it! I am not _in…!_ I don't feel _anything_ for Akane!" He hissed, trying to keep his voice down in the café but people still glanced their way.

Yaku kept staring at him, drinking once again his tea – it would probably become a habit, thoughtfully drinking tea.

"…If you were to deny being _in love_ with Akane, I _might_ believe you, but denying not feeling _anything_ for her… _Come on_ , we both know it's a huge lie." He said with a shake of his head, almost looking sorry.

Tetsurou opened and closed his lips, trying to find something to reply. What did he mean, he _"might"_ believe him? It was _certain!_ As for denying feeling anything… it _might_ be a lie.

After all, he _had_ acted a little ambiguous at times without understanding _why_ he'd act this way. He had often found himself looking for her, or trying to get her attention, going to her even though he could have talked with anyone else, he always smiled and laughed around her even if he pretended to be annoyed by her, he actually loved their teasing. He had hugged her so tightly he had smelled her scent of apple and cinnamon – and recently he had had a strange taste towards these two particular flavors for no reason. He had tried _kissing_ her – and all that was back in high-school. Since then, he had helped her out, he had discovered her unexpected kind side, he had seen her in pajama with messy hair, he had messed around with her so much more casually, they had shared smiles and laughs, they had _flirted_ and almost kissed once again…

Tetsurou looked back at Yaku with wide, panicked eyes, realization falling onto him like bricks. Yaku smiled sheepishly and shrugged, as if saying _"Good luck now"_. But just as suddenly, Tetsurou thought back on their almost second-kiss… interrupted by unknown-annoying-guy.

"She has a boyfriend…" He let out, shoulders dropping.

Yaku immediately lost his smile, knowing that Kuroo was still struggling when it comes to the idea of dating. Ever since Kohaku, he had changed. It wasn't that he didn't respect women, but after she lied to him, kept secrets from him, then went off to another prefecture and started dating another guy after just a few weeks… Kuroo never really got over it. Lost in his confused feelings of broken trust and not-quite-in-love heart, he started flirting and having sex with whoever would agree to it, always respecting boundaries but never sleeping with a girl more than a few times before forgetting all about her. He broke many hearts in Nekoma but never thought back on it.

"Oh…" Yaku said, unable to find anything else to reply.

He couldn't even give him advice about anything considering that, no matter what, Kuroo was stuck. Knowing Akane had a boyfriend, Kuroo would never act on his feelings for her, whatever they were, whether he realized them or not. He'd keep his distances to respect her privacy and love life.

Tetsurou suddenly stood up, checking his phone casually – so casually and out of the blue that it was obvious he was pretending.

"I have to go to practice. Iwaizumi arrives today to spend time with his girlfriend before the Golden Week training camp." He announced, grabbing his bag and lifting it up on his shoulder.

Knowing he didn't want to talk any longer about Akane, Yaku followed his lead, quickly finishing his tea and hurrying after the giant with long legs:

"You have the Asian Men's Volleyball Championship soon, right?" He asked.

"End of July, but we probably won't be part of the regulars. I don't even know how many we are considering the team is scattered all across Japan. We'll see during the Golden Week when everyone gathers." Kuroo explained.

Yaku nodded and after going their own ways, Kuroo was free to think back on everything but within seconds of confused thoughts, he forced himself to focus on something else. He thought back on today's classes but he saw Akane's back and her shiny hair. He thought about volleyball but he saw her smile.

"Damn it…" He muttered, closing his eyes and clenching his jaws in annoyance.

But it wasn't the playful annoyance he usually felt when it came to Akane and _this_ annoyance, he disliked it with all of his heart.

The practice started as usual, with a particularly overjoyed Oikawa – his best friend was coming back after a month and it was enough to pump him up.

"You're all right?" Bokuto asked Kuroo when he noticed him looking a little down.

Kuroo was pleasantly shocked that his friend would notice it, but it annoyed him more to be so obvious.

"Yeah… just tired." He answered.

Bokuto stared at him, obviously not quite believing him but he understood Kuroo wouldn't talk now, so he dropped the topic.

It was near the end of practice, when everyone was functioning a little slowly, that the atmosphere changed.

"Yo, everyone!"

Everyone turned around and Oikawa immediately gasped, running towards Iwaizumi who was standing at the entrance, still carrying his big bag for the week or so he'd spend in Tokyo. The wing-spiker braced for the impact but he still wavered backwards when Oikawa jumped on him, his other teammates approaching and after some chatting, that turned into what had become of the rest of practice, the coach called the practice to an end. For once, no one stayed behind to overpractice – partly to talk with Iwaizumi, and partly because they'd have all the time to overpractice during the Golden Week. The boys went to change in the changing-room while Iwaizumi discussed with the coaches and joined them a few minutes later.

"What did you talk about?" Oikawa asked him curiously.

"Nothing interesting," he answered without meeting his eyes directly but almost immediately, he turned around with a smile, "So, how has it been going for you guys?"

Oikawa started talking enthusiastically but after a few minutes, Iwaizumi scolded him:

"Oi, let the others talk! I hear your babbling everyday and Kiku doesn't shut up about your shenanigans either!" He muttered, turning towards the others and purposefully ignoring Oikawa, "I don't get to talk with _you_ much, so please speak up so he'll shut up!"

But before anyone had time to say anything, Bokuto jumped forward, raising his arms to the ceiling

"Hey! How about we all go have dinner somewhere to catch up? And to celebrate our gathering!"

"We're not having a family dinner, Bokuto," Kuroo said with a roll of his eyes.

"We could take our girls too!" He exclaimed.

They all glanced at Bokuto sparkling excitedly.

"You just want an excuse to spend time with Ayaka-chan, isn't it?" Kuroo concluded with a sigh.

He startled guiltily before bowing pleadingly to his teammates:

"B-but! I want to spend time with you too! We could all go for dinner tomorrow night, and after we could go dancing or something!"

Oikawa and Iwaizumi glanced at each other, the latter shrugging. Ushijima didn't seem enthusiastic at the project but he didn't seem to mind either. Finally, Kuroo sighed with a smirk on his face, hands on his hips…

"Well, why not? It might be fun." He finally said, the others smiling while Bokuto cheered, already calling his Ayaka to plan it all out.

 _And it'll help me think of something else than Akane. Thank goodness we have the Golden Week, not seeing her will help me make some sense out of this mess…_ He added to himself, darkening a little.

 _The following night…_

Tetsurou checked he looked nice, dark red shirt slightly opened and sleeves pushed up to his elbows with dark, tight jeans then he went off, glancing quickly at Akane's door but forcing his mind to focus on the evening to come.

He joined the others at the restaurant they were meeting at – everyone was already here, enjoying the appetizers and first drinks of the evening.

"Sorry, I'm late!" He exclaimed, grabbing the last chair.

"It's fine, we just settled down, we were hungry!" Bokuto answered, an arm draped over his girlfriend's shoulders.

Other than Bokuto, Ushijima, Oikawa and Iwaizumi, there were only two girls: Kanemoto Ayaka, Bokuto's lovely girlfriend and heiress to the Kanemoto Group that was sponsoring all of them; and Akiyama Kiku, Iwaizumi's girlfriend. She was studying in Tokyo, which was why they couldn't see each other often. He had never met her, she seemed the shy type but from the way she and her boyfriend kept glancing at each other, they were very much in love.

Tetsurou's thoughts drifted towards Akane and he quickly forced a smile, turning towards Ushijima and Oikawa who were sitting next to each other, the setter apparently feeling mixed up between being annoyed by that or being happy that his best friend was back. Then he turned back towards the only person he still didn't know:

"Kuroo Tetsurou, nice to meet you," he said politely.

"A-Akiyama Kiku," she answered with a flush.

"You look great, Kuroo-san!" Ayaka exclaimed.

"Why didn't you bring your lovely cousin, Ushiwaka~? Shi-chan _should_ be here, we're missing girls around this table!" Kuroo exclaimed, Oikawa startling at the casual way with which he had called the girl.

"Shiori is absent for a few weeks for work," Ushijima answered calmly.

"That's too bad for you, Oikawa~!" Kuroo teased.

"I-I don't see how it'd be bad! It doesn't change anything for me!" He exclaimed stubbornly, refusing to admit his huge crush on his rival's cousin.

Ushijima glanced at him, even _he_ had understood how Oikawa felt and didn't seem to understand why he'd refuse to acknowledge his feelings. Iwaizumi blinked at the reaction and flush on his friend's cheeks, though. It wasn't that he didn't know about Sasaki Shiori – Oikawa didn't stop talking about her about 80% of the time (the 20% left were dedicated to volleyball and complaining, about Ushijima for the most part) but he hadn't expected his feelings to be so _obvious_.

"What about Akaashi and Ami-chan?" Kuroo asked, turning towards the couple of owls.

"Akaashi-kun was kidnapped by Ami and they went off for the week-end to her grandparents' house. I also asked Addie to join us but she's stuck at the Academy." Ayaka answered sheepishly.

Kuroo hummed thoughtfully, he had asked Kenma but, without surprised, he had refused. So did the rest of Nekoma for various reasons. Bokuto might have asked his Fukurodani's former teammates but considering their absence, they must have been busy as well.

"Why didn't you bring your Akane-chan~?" Oikawa asked teasingly.

He startled, his heart beating a little in panic.

"A-aah… I didn't see her, and I have no reason to invite her anyway. She's just… a classmate."

"Are you _sure~?"_

Bokuto was the only one who seemed to notice his strange reaction and started staring at Kuroo who tried to ignore his intense gaze.

"Ah! Koutarou told me what happened the other day! It's very nice of Akane to bring you back your wallet!" Ayaka exclaimed enthusiastically – she had never hidden that she hoped (like her boyfriend) that Tetsurou might develop an _interest_ in Akane (ridiculous, truly; he felt the need to scoff but held it back in time).

"Akane?" Kiku asked curiously, glancing up shyly at Hajime.

He seemed just as confused but Oikawa answered:

"Kuroo's future girlfriend~! She's a _hot_ girl in Biology with him, they've known each other for years!" He exclaimed.

"OI! She's not my future anything! And don't call her hot!" Kuroo exclaimed at once, making the others chuckle.

His intervention had seemed enough to enlighten the ones who were confused about what sort of relationship the two held. Tetsurou gritted his teeth, but held back from adding anything, knowing it'd be misunderstood by these idiots. A waitress arrived to take their orders and they continued their conversation:

"Tendou is planning to come to Tokyo during the Golden Week, Semi is working though," Iwaizumi intervened.

"I know, he'll join our practice for a few days even if he isn't part of the team," Ushijima answered, "We didn't have the opportunity to discuss but how is practice in Miyagi? You're training with Semi, right?"

"It's going better than expected, he's a good setter, his skills are on par with the bests," Iwaizumi answered with a smile, "I'm enjoying it a lot. And what about you and Oikawa?"

"Oi, don't talk as if I wasn't here!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"He's surprisingly collaborative," Ushijima answered with a nod.

"Eeeh, he is?"

"OI! I'm _right here!"_

Kuroo chuckled and the group had a vivid dinner, Iwaizumi quickly catching up with the others and despite the overwhelming amount of testosterone gathered in one place, Ayaka, who had grown up with two older brothers, managed to hold her own against everyone and included Kiku in their conversations. At the end of dinner, they decided to go have another drink and perhaps go dancing for the ones who felt like it.

Glancing around, Kuroo recognized the neighborhood even if he didn't come here very often:

"Hey, I heard of a place nearby where we can get drinks and a good show." He said, turning to the others with a grin.

Koutarou put his jacket over Ayaka's shoulders to keep her from getting cold and he glanced at his friend:

"What sort of place?" He asked.

"Well, I've never been there yet, but we could try it out. It's called the "Gem's"; I know there's some dancing, you pay the entry fees and the first drink is free. If we don't like, we won't have to take another and we could go somewhere else."

"As long as it's not some weird place, it's fine by me," Iwaizumi said with a shrug, holding his girlfriend's hand.

"Why would it be weird~?" He answered, the others staring at him with stern looks on their faces, knowing what sort of man he was.

But everyone agreed and followed Kuroo. They entered a little street and descended a few stairs, a bouncer checked they didn't have anything illegal on them and even if he stared a little too hard at Ayaka because she looked so young and innocent, when he realized she was dating a big and weird-looking guy, he let it go. They entered, already hearing some music, paying the entry fees that were relatively good-priced. Several in the group glanced suspiciously at the girl who had welcomed them considering the way she was dressed – she had clothes on, but they were rather revealing.

"Your first drink is free, all other services will be paid when you'll exit, you can ask any of our girls and boys working." She said, giving them a ticket for the free drink.

They went through another door and entered a dark place, with lots of blinding, fluorescent lights of many colors. There was music with a good beat, many tables settled around to allow as many people as possible to watch the central stage. There were more booths, hidden behind curtains of pearls. The stage had pole dancing bars but a not-so-clothed girl was doing some aerial dancing, holding her body in a beautiful way on two long red pieces of fabric. Several waiters and waitresses, scarcely dressed, just enough to be suggestive but not enough to show anything, were walking around, carrying trays of drinks and appetizers for the spectators – mostly men but there were many women admiring the muscular men dancing sexily on the stage. The group saw a waitress guide a customer in one of the darkened booth, behind the curtain of pearls and they all turned towards a grinning Kuroo.

"It's exactly what I meant by _'weird place',_ " Iwaizumi mumbled, frowning.

"Oh, come on! It's great! We have drinks, good music, the people are dressed which is a good sign and we have a good show!"

"B-but, i-it's so _suggestive…!"_ Ayaka exclaimed, and despite the darkness they could notice her red cheeks.

"Once again, they're wearing _clothes_ , and it's only suggestive if you have _naughty_ thoughts, Ayaka-chan~!" Kuroo answered, making her gasp and blush even more, "It's like a circus show, it's fun!" He continued, glancing once again at the girl doing her acrobatics in the air, "A circus show, but… for adults."

They all seemed hesitant, except maybe Oikawa who was glancing around, apparently enjoying the show (hey, unlike Bokuto and Iwaizumi, he was single after all – Ushijima was single as well, but he didn't count) and finally, he was the one to speak up:

"We're here now, so let's sit down, have a drink and try to enjoy it!" He said with a smile.

"Exactly, let's go have a sit and order our drinks!" Kuroo exclaimed.

Iwaizumi sighed, rolling his eyes as the group follow the two single men inpatient to get to see more.

"I do hope you don't let these two hang together too much on their own," he mumbled.

"Probably more than we should. We don't have to stay for long, just the time for a drink and we'll go. This place is making me uncomfortable, it's against my standards," Ushijima said with a frown.

"You're not the only one…" Ayaka whined.

Kiku chuckled but didn't say anything, occasionally glancing at a few waiters, earning a jealous glare from her boyfriend.

"What? Just because I'm taken doesn't mean I can't admire the show," she replied with a casual shrug.

He rolled his eyes just as they all sat on a couch around a round table, it gave a feeling of intimacy for the group of friends, like a booth reserved for them instead of random little tables, but it wasn't as private as the booths behind the curtains.

"May I take your orders, masters and mistresses?" A waitress arrived, wearing a silvery wig and showing a lot of skin covered in silvery powder.

Ushijima made sure to look away while Kuroo admired her.

"Will we be served by lovely you all evening?" Kuroo asked with a wink, making the others try hard not to roll their eyes at his obvious flirting.

She smiled, the lights giving her an entrancing aura:

"Unfortunately, there are too many guests for us to dedicate ourselves to one table for the entire night. But I am certain my colleagues would be just as lovely and if you were to request a private moment with _me_ in particular, you only need to ask my name, Silver."

She bent down, showing her nice cleavage and took a flyer on the table she gave to Kuroo with a long, suggestive stare. He smirked, knowing very well what she was doing – unlike most girls he swooned off their feet with a look, this Silver wasn't quite as taken with him as the rest of them – she was only doing her work. Being a suggestive waitress in a suggestive place.

"All of our services are on this list," she said with a smile before straightening up and looking at the entire table, "May I take your orders?"

"Kuroo, give me the list, quick!" Oikawa exclaimed, trying to reach for it over the table but Kuroo kept reading, keeping it out of reach of the setter who was stuck, by the table, and between Ushijima and Kiku.

"He'll take a mojito," Iwaizumi grumbled, pulling him away from across the table.

"Two," Kiku said, earning a long look from her boyfriend.

"Then _three_."

"Um…" Ushijima mumbled, brows furrowed.

"You know what? We're all taking mojitos!" Bokuto intervened, earning an elbowing from Ayaka, "And… one coke."

She seemed glad to not have anything with alcohol and the waitress nodded, sending one last seductive looks at Oikawa and Kuroo before walking away.

"The back is as pleasing as the front," Oikawa said, leaning away.

Iwaizumi grabbed his shoulder and forced him to stay straight instead of pushing off Ushijima to have a look.

"GEH! Iwa-chan…!"

"I thought you didn't want to be with a girl until you found the _'one'!"_ He scolded with a glare.

"It doesn't keep me from admiring what is in front of my eyes!"

"How can you say that when Shiori's cousin is right here?!"

Ushijima raised an eyebrow while Oikawa hissed, but Iwaizumi wasn't done:

"You're pathetic, pitiful. You're despicable."

" _Iwa-chan!"_

"You're exaggerating, Hajime…" Kiku intervened.

It took the group a few minutes, but they eventually calmed down – from the excitement of being in such a place for a few, and relaxing when they realized that nothing _weird_ was going on for the most suspicious ones.

"If they are normal waiters and waitresses, why are they so lightly dressed?" Ushijima asked, narrowing his eyes at one who passed by.

"For the show, Ushiwaka, for the show…" Kuroo mumbled.

"What do they even propose as services?" Bokuto asked, taking the flyer from his hands.

"Don't you even _think_ of it," Ayaka threatened.

"I'm just curious!"

He read the flyer but except the names of fancy cocktails, drinks and appetizers, the only other services were very 'normal' things such as pole dance, aerial dance or 'pearls talk' whatever that was.

"I suppose they wouldn't write down 'blowjob' in full letters but well…" Bokuto said, passing the flyer around.

"It seems… rather innocent actually," Iwaizumi remarked.

"I want to know what 'pearls talk' is before judging whether or not it's innocent," Kiku answered, passing the flyer to Oikawa and Ushijima.

They glanced at it curiously but the setter quickly lost interest when it wasn't up to his expectations.

"Here are your drinks, masters and mistresses," a waitress said, making them look up.

The waitress who had arrived was just as scantily dressed as the others, her clothes all in red and black, just like her wig – long, dark red hair. She started putting down the glasses on the table, but almost the entire table stared at her, feeling like they knew her. She seemed familiar but they couldn't put a name on who it was – perhaps she had passed by already and that was why. She put Kuroo's mojito down and made eye-contact with him, both immediately freezing.

She was almost unrecognizable – no glasses, practically naked with a fancy bra and a tiny, see-through skirt, all in shades of black and red, high-heels, her long, red nails suddenly clenching the glass. Her red make-up, sparkling and over-done if they weren't in such a place, cherry red lips, her hair so different with this wig… but Tetsurou knew only one person with such eyes. Such beautiful reddish eyes…

"A… Akane…" He let out in a raspy breath.

Knowing she was recognized, and shocked to see Kuroo and his friends here, Akane suddenly straightened up, forgetting for a moment that she was supposed to keep a professional face. She glanced around nervously, but no one except the table had heard him. The others all stared at her with mouths opening in shock, finally recognizing the girl they had seen only very quickly.

Only Tetsurou was still frozen in shock, unable to look away from her.

 _Saito Akane._

He had seen her grow up through middle-school and high-school, she was constantly annoying him, she was constantly on his mind recently – but it seemed that she had been on his mind for far longer than since they had become neighbors. During class, he poked at her glasses, he pulled at her hair, he'd tell her her shirts are too revealing just for teasing… and here she was. Serving him a mojito in a dark, suggestive place, lights flashing around and giving Saito Akane a totally different aura than usual. She was always so serious, frowning, dark and now she was sparkling from head to toe wearing fancy, revealing clothes.

Slowly, Tetsurou's eyes traveled her body, from the dark-red wig she was wearing, her face he could barely recognize with this heavy, red and sparkling make-up, her neck, the curves of her beautiful breasts held up by a fancy red and black bra, lots of pearls and sparkles hanging around, her narrow waist and wide hips, some black panties covered by a see-through red skirt, her long, curvy legs… Then, just as slowly, savoring everything he could see, he looked back up all the way to her face.

He couldn't tell because of the overall darkness, the colorful lights and the make-up but he was pretty sure she had paled, still staring at him in disbelief…

Finally, after what felt like painfully long minutes, but had lasted only a few seconds, both reacted… Testurou let out a heavy breath, realizing he had been left breathless, while Akane blinked, shaking lightly her head and trying to come up with something:

"K-Kuroo… w-what… what are you doing here?" She asked in disbelief, keeping her voice as low as possible despite the music.

"I-I… I'm here for… _I_ should be the one asking you that! What are _you_ doing here, Akane?!" He exclaimed, standing up suddenly but his legs felt shaky and he wasn't sure why.

She looked around in panic before pushing him back on the couch:

" _Sssh!_ Don't use my name, idiot! A-and it's _obvious_ , isn't it…?! I'm _working!_ So… _so…!"_

" _That's_ your job?! You said you were a waitress, not a…! Are you…"

His voice trailed off, staring at Akane's face. He could recognize her features but she looked so different from the Akane he knew… For some unknown reason, he felt _betrayed_ to know she was working in such a place, being looked at by all these perverts, taking them in a private booth and doing _'pearls talking'…!_ He couldn't believe the Akane he knew would do that, even less that it shook him so much. He could barely think, he could only stare at her, devouring her beautiful figure and brilliant eyes, the only part of her that hadn't changed.

She stared back at him, lips falling open, she looked almost hurt he'd say such a think about her… She knew very well what people thought she was doing, working in a place like that, she knew what Kuroo was thinking of her but she was used to it. She just wasn't used to the look of hurt and betrayal in his eyes…

"Of course _not_ …" She answered, her voice almost a whisper, barely heard, "We're not doing anything other than serving drinks to customers, we _are_ waiters and waitresses despite our outfits that suggest otherwise, we–"

"Ruby, you're next!" Some of her green themed colleague told her as she passed by.

She stopped, glancing curiously at the face 'Ruby' was making. She glanced between 'Ruby' and the group of people, everyone stunned and one looking particularly shocked… Finally, Akane forced herself to look away from Tetsurou, nodding to her colleague.

"I'm… I'm coming in a minute…" She nodded.

Akane glanced at Tetsurou who opened his lips, but he was unable to say anything. Then, she walked away, her hair swinging to the rhythm of her hips, once again she was being professional, putting up a face for the customers. Tetsurou caught sight of some black ink against her back – a tattoo? Was it a real one, or fake for the 'show'?

After a long moment of silence, Bokuto took a deep breath.

"Well… that was… _unexpected_ …" He said, breaking the heavy silence, Kuroo still staring at where Akane had disappeared.

"…That's the Akane you mentioned earlier, right?" Iwaizumi asked hesitantly.

All the ones who had met Akane, except Kuroo still shock frozen, nodded without a word.

"Oh…"

"…She was _hot_ before but _now_ , she's… _wow_ …"

Oikawa let out a heavy breath, feeling a little hot himself, he used the flyer to vent himself. Kuroo whipped around at once, gaze burning.

"Don't you… _dare_ say that again… don't even _look_ at her, got it?!" He hissed, making the setter tremble.

"I'm not interested in her anyway! I leave her to you…!" He answered, raising his hands innocently.

"What did the other girl meant by 'you're next'?" Bokuto asked curiously.

As to answer his question, there was a change in the lightning on the stage. The aerial dancer went off, the men hooting as she passed by. The red pieces of fabric were lifted up off view and another girl – Akane, or rather, _Ruby_ – arrived, climbing the few stairs with a swing of her hips that made all men cheer enthusiastically. A new song started and Ruby turned around, giving a long look around the room, more cheers erupting. She seemed to ignore them all but then, her eyes locked in the back of the room and she lifted up her arm, pointing a finger. It was vague enough for all the men around to think it was for them and to have them cheer even more, but the group of friends all knew who it was for. They all turned to Kuroo whose mouth fell open in shock, his heart speeding up and stomach clenching. He didn't realize that he started leaning forward on his seat, barely holding himself on the side of the table while Akane started her show.

She started a few spins and moves around the pole dance bars, moving her hips sensually, her gaze never leaving his. Her intense red eyes, staring into his even from across the room, despite all the people here, it was _his_ show. His private show dedicated just for him. Following the music, Ruby made a few more moves, bending down, caressing her body, opening her legs which made men whistle excitedly. Then, she moved towards the pole bar, she glanced over her shoulder at Tetsurou, biting down on her lower lip before climbing up, focusing on what she was doing.

If he had been shocked up to this point, and if he had started getting turned on, Tetsurou almost slid off the seat if Bokuto hadn't grabbed his shoulder when Akane started showing what she could do on a pole dance bar.

She wasn't a good sportive, her results at PE class were always what was expected of a science nerd. She never made an effort, Tetsurou could have _never_ in his wildest dreams imagined her doing any sports, or dancing or being flexible… but _oh_ had he been wrong…! She had enough muscles to hold her weight on the bar and doing amazing stunts and things that seemed impossible for him. And even if it was a sensual show, a splendid pole dancing, Akane never stopped catching his gaze whenever she could. At some point, her hair falling down, he fully saw her back and noticed a writing on the length of her vertebral column – but he was still unable to know whether or not it was a real tattoo…

 _Gods I hope it's a real one… Gods I pray I'll get to see it again up-close… Potentially when we'll be both naked and enjoying her flexibility…_ He thought to himself, his mind going wild.

By the time the show was done, Tetsurou's heart was beating like crazy, like never before, his entire body was warm, he had a thousand questions to ask Akane and he didn't see anyone else but her. No one existed but Akane. Unfortunately, after she went off the stage and disappeared in the crowd, she didn't come back.

"Well, I think you'll be… _satisfied_ …" Iwaizumi commented, sipping his drink while sending a casual glance at his girlfriend, Bokuto doing the same to Ayaka.

"Go ahead, just show off, you guys with very flexible and talented girlfriends…" Oikawa muttered, feeling lonelier than ever with two of his friends dating and the only one who was single (in his opinion, Ushijima didn't count) now that Kuroo was about to collapse from the heat his obviously-future-girlfriend had made him feel too fast.

"I'm definitely not going to complain!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, making Kiku smile.

"Me neither!" Bokuto added, making Ayaka blush terribly.

After the entire show, she hadn't even touched her coke. She took a sip but immediately put down the glass.

"It's… got alcohol in it…" She muttered.

"Oh… do you want some of my– ah, wait, no, alcohol too…" Koutarou started.

"I'd like to propose for us to move out of this place but I doubt Kuroo will want to, now more than ever," Iwaizumi intervened.

They all glanced at Kuroo who had finally moved a little. But instead of doing or saying anything, he had buried his face against his arms, on the table, trying to hide his furiously blushing cheeks. It wasn't even arousal, he could control himself, it was just the thought of Akane. His mind was so full of Akane he didn't even understand why he couldn't stop thinking of her – and that was before discovering what was her part-time job. After their intense flirting of the other day, he was going crazy with the amount of thoughts, naughty or not, invading his mind. He suddenly found himself wanting to kiss her cherry red lips and running his hands over her curvy body. He wanted to wake up with Akane at his side and poke at her cheeks while making fun of her bed hair.

"Hey, you're okay, man?" Bokuto asked, putting a hand on his shoulder, starting to worry.

Kuroo slowly straightened up, passing his hands over his face and no one really understood why he looked so devastated.

"Let's… go…" He said, but he couldn't find any strength in his legs to stand up.

Whatever he felt for her, he couldn't deny his crush and lust for Akane any longer. But a part of him kept whispering to his heart that it might be _more_ and this scared him more than anything. Lust he could control, love he couldn't. He wasn't ready and right now, it was all too much, too fast, all at once.

The others didn't complain, waiting for him to lead the way out. But before they'd go for the exit, Kuroo drank his glass (and the untouched ones around the table) and started looking around the crowd, looking for a red-scattered waitress but Akane, Ruby, whatever, wasn't here anymore. Maybe she had gone home, or maybe she refused to come out while he was still around. If she felt half as confused as him, he couldn't blame her.

Once again, Bokuto grabbed his shoulder and forcefully guided Kuroo towards the exit door where the others were waiting for him – the bouncers were staring suspiciously at Kuroo who was acting strangely, but he didn't seem to notice them as Bokuto pushed him into the stairs, almost running up to get fresh air.

"You're sure you're okay?" Bokuto asked him again, keeping a hand on his shoulder to keep him steady.

Kuroo had drunk in one long gulp his mojito (and Ushijima's and Ayaka's drink) all at once just before standing up to leave and even if it wasn't enough to put him down, that much alcohol so suddenly has gotten to his head quickly.

"I'm fine… I'll just… I'll go home… unless you guys want to go somewhere else…" He mumbled, but it was obvious he wanted to just run away and hide.

"I'm fine, I'd rather go home," Kiku said, taking Hajime's hand; Ushijima and Oikawa both nodding as well, respecting the state of mind Kuroo was in at the moment.

"There had been enough emotions for one evening," Ayaka said, putting on Koutarou's jacket once again from the fresh, almost cold air after the heavy atmosphere of the ominous place they had been.

"I'll accompany you home," Bokuto told Kuroo, ignoring his refusal by turning towards Ayaka and giving her his keys, "Do you mind going ahead? Ushiwaka, I know it'll take you longer but it's on your way, could you–"

"I'll accompany her back to your place safe and sound," he said with a nod.

Relieved, Bokuto nodded and the group separated in three directions, vaguely saying they'll meet again but too shaken up by the way the evening had turned out to really care.

Once certain Kuroo could walk on his own without help, Bokuto let him go on, the middle-blocker accelerating now that he wasn't held back.

"Do you need to pee or something?" Bokuto finally asked, breaking the silence.

Kuroo sent him a quick look over his shoulders as Bokuto casually caught up with him with a few long strides.

"Y'know, I get that it's a shock to find out in such a way that Akane is working in such a place but… you don't have to worry about what she does. Like she said, she's just a waitress there. And a surprisingly good pole dancer."

"How… what makes you think she's just a waitress?" Kuroo hesitated, being reminded of his first impression of the place – he was so confused about his feelings, he had almost forgotten the feeling of betrayal and jealousy he had initially felt but now it came back in violent waves.

Bokuto glanced at him, almost surprised by his question then he answered, as if it was obvious:

"Don't tell me you didn't see how hurt she had looked that you thought that of her?"

"…Right…" He mumbled, looking down at his feet.

Kuroo slowed down a little, staring at the sidewalk as they approached the building he lived in, and so did Akane… He didn't even realize how much time they had walked until they arrived at the entry and he looked for his keys in his pockets, looking a little lost and still terribly confused.

"Y-you know… about Akane… I-I think I–"

Bokuto cut him from saying anything but putting his hand on his shoulder strongly, harder than he would have any other time. It startled Kuroo who looked up at him, stunned by his gesture:

"Keep the life-changing realizations for another day, when you won't be drunk, okay? If you need help I'm here, and the others are here too… but don't let it overwhelm you, it'll do you no good."

"…I'm scared…" He admitted, blinking in disbelief he'd say it out-loud.

Bokuto kept his lips thin. He knew Kuroo was scared of falling in love, of getting attached to someone who might break his heart and trust… The discovery of the evening and the alcohol had made him talk before he could control himself. He was so used to keep his feelings bottled up deep in his heart, to put on a face, that expressing himself didn't _feel_ like himself…

"Because love _is_ scary," Bokuto started, "But it's also beautiful, when it's true."

Kuroo glanced up at him then he opened the entry door.

"Will you be okay?" Bokuto asked worriedly.

"Yeah… I'll see you on Monday for the training camp…" Kuroo answered, disappearing in his building.

Bokuto sighed before turning around, hurrying to find his True Love.

Tetsurou was emotionally, physically exhausted, but he couldn't calm down. Once he had arrived in his place, he started turning around like a lion in cage – alcohol didn't blurry his mind anymore after the long walk in the fresh air, the shock of the initial moment wasn't numbing him quite so much anymore. But he still had thousand questions running through his mind and–

He stopped, hearing footsteps in the hall just in front of his door. He opened it and without surprise, he saw Akane, wearing normal clothes, her bag over her shoulder, unlocking her door. She glanced up at him, not surprised to see him there. They remained silent a moment, Tetsurou staring at her and finding the Akane he knew once again.

Jeans, baskets, tshirt a little revealing but not too much, messy black hair in her new hairstyle that still did things to his body. She had taken off her make-up but her lips were still reddish, her eyes still smudgy. She looked emotionally tired, shoulders down and gaze fixated on the ground, he wasn't sure why and it hurt him more than it should have to see her this way.

Slowly, Akane let out a heavy sigh then turned around, leaning against her doorway, staring at the night sky, smothered by the city lights and hiding all stars. Tetsurou let go of his door knob and he walked towards her, leaning against the other side of her doorway but he couldn't look away from her.

"I'm sorry for what I accused you of doing but… do you… did you ever…?" He asked in a low voice, thinking back on what Bokuto had told him not too long ago, but he could ignore the bad taste in his mouth.

"I'm just a waitress, I don't do anything else to any customer. Some girls… they do, but it's not the official business and it's their own choice. _I_ don't." She explained in a tired voice.

"Why?"

Akane turned her reddish gaze towards him. The same intense gaze that had held his while she was showing her body and how sensual she was. He suddenly wanted to rush to her, breaking the little distance separating them, to cup her cheeks and kiss her passionately but he clenched his fists when his fingers trembled impatiently.

"' _Why'_ … what?" She asked, lightly shaking her head in confusion.

Tetsurou pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked to her, instead of the dramatic rush and rough kiss he had just imagined. He hid her vision from the night sky, his fingers brushing her arms. Their bodies were close enough to feel each other's warmth but other than his fingers against the bare skin of her arms, they weren't touching. He leaned down, closing his eyes as he rested his nose against the top of her head, inhaling her scent. Her delicious smell of apple and cinnamon was covered by sweat, alcohol and make-up.

He opened his eyes and he looked down, she still hadn't moved.

"Why did you never tell me? Why this job out of everything you could do?" He asked in a low voice, his warm breath hitting her forehead.

"I don't owe you anything and… it pays more than a normal job." She answered calmly, keeping her body as still as a statue.

He hesitated, thinking back on the last time they had been so close, they had felt so intimate. Back when he had almost kissed her not so long ago. Before being interrupted…

"That guy… your boyfriend…" He started, wanting to bite his tongue for sounding so bitter, "Does he know?"

"He's… yeah… he knows." She answered, her voice revealing some feelings he couldn't quite comprehend.

Silence fell on them. Tetsurou didn't stop staring at her, his golden eyes shining in the mid-darkness. Akane let her head fall against her door and tilted it up, looking back into his eyes, mysterious emotions passing through them. They stared into each other's eyes for long, long, _heavenly_ long seconds, no sound, no gesture being shared, just a tiny bit of peace and warmth and thousand unsaid things filling the air around them.

Finally, the tiniest of smile appeared on his face, a hesitant, almost shy smile, as he broke the silence:

"…Is that a real tattoo on your back?" Tetsurou asked in a low voice, sounding a little mischievous, more like himself.

Akane's lips tilted up as well, in an amused way. She glanced down quickly, pondering the answer to this question before looking back into his eyes, her own sparkling like jewelry. Her hand went into her back, grabbing the door knob.

"Good night, Kuroo," she said, opening the door and slipping into her apartment.

He opened his lips but she shut the door before he could say anything. He let his hand rest against the wooden door then he sighed, turning around and leaning against it. Weirdly enough, no matter how strange the evening had turned out, he couldn't help but smile softly, feeling his heart beat reassuringly against his chest.

Unbeknownst to him, Akane was leaning against her door as well, biting down on her lower lip to fight back her smile, a hand on her chest where her heart resonated steadily against her fingertips.

* * *

 _Your dear Iwa-chan was here, happy? Lots of development for AkaKuro too. And next chapter has someone appearing too, but I'm not saying who because otherwise you'll only focus on that again! ;)_

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter~!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	7. Blinded

_Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _As you might have seen, I started posting the Oikawa fanfiction "Aliens"; and I'm going to post the last chapter + epilogue of Quiet Voice during the week._

 _ **jungkookies** : I'm so happy that you found the leaning against the door romantic~ The Asahi fic is canon, but it was the first one, unifinished that I wrote only half-seriously and I'd rather poeple don't read it lol. the quality is way below the rest. I am SO HAPPY to know Akane is one fo your favorite OC! :D_

 _ **Kara-Fire21** : On s'attendait à l'apparition d'Akane au Gem's, mais j'espère quand même que la surprise de Kuroo s'est bien sentie~! En français ou anglais, peu importe! Je suis contente de t review et de pouvoir te répondre! :D_

 _ **Uraraka-chan** : I would never hate you for being honnest! I perfectly uderstand why you don't get hooked on this story and it's true that Akane is described as a female version of Kuroo but don't forget that this descirption comes from outsiders' point of view, not hers or even Kuroo himself. Like in my other fanfics the main love interest is very different from the boy, then finds common points; for AkaKuro it's the other way around. Lots of common points,then learning the differences, and learning to accept them. I wanted a radically different atmosphere for this fanfic and I can understand why some might not like as much.I sitll hope you'll keep reading a little more to see if the new aspects of Akane will interest you. :)_

 _lapizlazulijavi : Thank youf or your review, and for the link! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER VII : Blinded

" _It's a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what's changed is you."_

— **Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay.**

" _Love. The reason I dislike that word is that it means too much for me, far more than you can understand."_

— **Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina**

" _There was love to be felt, and discovered, still."_

— **Aimee Bender, The Color Master**

" _Loving can hurt sometimes… But… loving can heal, loving can mend your soul."_

— **Ed Sheeran, "Photograph," X**

" _There is no shame in being hungry for another person. There is no shame in wanting very much to share your life with somebody."_

— **Augusten Burroughs**

" _Love is not rational. You fall in love, you lose control."_

— **Café Society (2016), Dir. Woody Allen**

" _Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased. It comes out of heaven, unasked and unsought."_

— **Pearl S. Buck**

" _Something is happening here. I know you feel it, too."_

— **N.**

" _I saw the way you looked at me…I hope you saw the way I looked at you."_

— **Unknown**

" _You fell in love with someone because of the tilt of his smile, or because he could make you laugh, or in this case, because he made you believe you were the only one who could save him."_

— **Jodi Picoult, Picture Perfect**

" _Do I love you?_

 _Do I hate you?_

 _I can't make up my mind…"_

— **Ed Sheeran, "Where We Land"**

Tetsurou turned the key, unlocking the door and stepping in, a wave of melancholy hitting him. He looked around the small, familiar house in which he had grown up, feeling like he was back home even though he knew it wasn't quite home anymore. He heard tiny, running steps and bent down when he saw a black fur-ball running downstairs and straight to him:

"Hey~! Hime-chan~!" He called.

He opened his arms wide just as the black cat jumped into his arms. He laughed, standing up as the cat meowed into his ear, purring happily as he carried her in his arms. Taking off his shoes, he went into the apartment:

"Mom?" He called.

"I'm in the kitchen, Tetsurou!"

He went there, smiling when he smelled the scent of apple pie just as his mother took it out of the oven. She put it down on the counter and he let Hime-chan down to hug his mom, kissing her cheek.

"I missed you, Tetsurou! I know you're very busy with school but you should come more often!" She complained, even though she was seeing her son every week-ends.

"I know, sorry, mom. The beginning of the school year was busy but now I'm getting used to the rhythm, so I'll come more often, I promise." He answered while Hime-chan walked against his legs.

"Hime-chan missed you a lot, she keeps sleeping on your bed and cries for you in your bedroom," his mother, Kuroo Miki, said, going back to her pie to make sure it was well-made.

"Aaaw… of course she misses me… And I miss my ladies too, right Hime-chan~?" He continued, picking her up once again.

His cat meowed happily while he glanced at his mother, to make her understand she was one of his ladies as well.

Long, black hair, a little messy even held back in a ponytail. Soft, laughing wrinkles at the corner of her brown eyes, a constant, motherly look and a soft smile. She was the best and strongest person he had ever met and there was no one more important than his mom who had done so much for him. She was taller than average, but Tetsurou knew that he got his height from his father, like his golden eyes.

"Why an apple pie though? Is Kenma coming?" Tetsurou asked curiously, going to take a glass of milk.

" _You_ tell me, he's your best friend, isn't he?" She said with a knowing smile.

"I asked him, but I don't know if he will. If he doesn't I'll attract him here with a slice of pie, though." He answered with a playful smirk.

Miki glanced at him, shaking lightly her head.

"Are you excited for the training camp?" She asked, taking off her apron.

"Yeah! We'll all be here, so it'll be great! Iwaizumi already arrived the other day, so he could spend some time with his girlfriend before the training camp. We went to dinner all together last night…" He answered, voice trailing off a little.

His mind wandered off, thinking back on the rest of the evening. Going to the Gem's, finding out Akane's unexpected job… and more. Seeing her under such an unexpected light had made him realize that all of their recent interactions were making him feel things he had never felt for anyone before. But one thing was certain: he had a crush on her. And he was lusftful for her body, but that seemed like a secondary problem compared to the "crush" part. Lust, he could deal with. Crush? Not so much. A crush on someone meant possibly developing _more_ feelings, such as falling in love, or life-devoting-love and he _could NOT afford_ feeling this way for Saito Akane, or anyone.

Miki glanced at her son, surprised by the lack of details he was giving. He seemed lost in thoughts and she noticed that he looked particularly tired and his hair was even messier than usual.

"Did something happen?" She asked worriedly.

"E-eh? N-no! Why would anything have happened?" He answered, laughing nervously.

But his mom knew him too much, she kept staring at him as he gulped down the rest of his glass of milk. He advanced towards the pie, sending a picture to Kenma to drag him out his hiding place AKA his bedroom and video games. Now it would only take a few minutes for him to arrive. Only a few minutes before he had enough distraction to avoid his mother's intense stare and questions.

"…If you need to talk, I'm here." Miki finally said with a shrug, knowing he was rather secretive when it came to his problems – to not burden her, she knew, but that worried her _even more._

She was his _mother_ after all, she _had_ to be here when he was in trouble. But she also knew she could trust her son, he was mature enough to know when he had to go to an adult, to _her_ , for some trouble.

Tetsurou stared at her from the corner of his eye, observing closely her expression to figure out whether she was really dropping the topic or not, and feeling relief when she did.

"By the way, have you found anyone to go with, to your cousin's wedding?" She asked suddenly.

"The what? Who?" He asked, blinking, and panicking a little.

She had _not_ dropped the topic, just found another way to figure out what had happened! How did she understand it involved a girl?! His mom wasn't asking him _that_ out of the blue, for no reason. Going to his cousin's wedding with someone meant going with someone _important_.

"Don't tell me you had forgotten Masuyo's wedding?" She asked with wide eyes, knowing that when it didn't concern volleyball or science, her son's head was empty for the most part.

"Of course not!" He exclaimed, looking offended she'd think that, "I totally know Masuyo is marrying her boyfriend. Just… remind me when is the wedding exactly?" He asked just after.

Knowing he _had_ forgotten, Miki rolled her eyes before answering:

"End of August. Do not forget and try to find someone to go with you. Or you'll get bored and sad."

"Bored, I definitely will. Sad – why would I? Isn't it supposed to be a happy day?" He asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

"When everyone else is happy and in love around you, a wedding always gets a little sad." Miki sighed, shaking her head.

"…I'm not…"

But his voice broke and he looked down, knowing his mother knew how scared he was about falling in love. After what had happened in his second year of high-school, his girlfriend of almost a year, Minamoto Kohaku, suddenly leaving to another prefecture after he had found out she had lied to him during most of their relationship. Since then… he didn't want of love. It only made people sad. He had seen what it had done to his mom, he knew what it had done to him. No thanks.

"…I'll go with Hime-chan, then." He said with a smile.

She meowed to hear her name. She probably just agreed to go with him. As long as there was food, she'll be happy anyway.

Miki didn't answer to her son's foolishness as he picked up the cat and went into the couch, sighing in relief to sit in something so comfortable. Except a hard chair and his bed, there was nothing to settle comfortably in his tiny apartment.

"It's not like you have anyone to go with, anyway. I'll be here to keep the family's old perverts off you so, you don't have to worry, mom." He said with a smile he wanted to be reassuring.

Miki glanced at him very quickly then looked away. He caught this reaction and his smile dropped.

"…Actually…" She started hesitantly.

He opened wide eyes, knowing very well what was coming, but it still felt like a punch in the gut.

"I will have someone to guard me, so you don't have to worry about me. Just go with a good friend, so you can have fun as well." She said, pushing off some of her hair from her face.

"Mom… are you _seeing_ someone? Why didn't you tell me? Is this new? Since when?" He asked, leaning forward curiously.

"…A little while, but you had your finals and then, you moved on your own and I didn't want you to worry."

"A _while?!"_

"But don't worry, Tetsurou!" She quickly continued with a smile, "He's treating me very well, he's very nice and I'm sure… you'll get along well with him!" She exclaimed.

Tetsurou remained silent, frowning a little. It wasn't his mother's first boyfriend, but they all ended up breaking her trust or heart, they had all ended up being assholes. He didn't want another one when he couldn't be here to look after his mom regularly.

"…If he does anything wrong to you, just tell me and I–"

"Tetsurou, honey, you're so sweet but…"

She sighed, suddenly looking tired and older than her actual age. She shook her head lightly before looking back at him, her gaze incredibly sad:

"Don't worry about me. Live _your_ life, you're young. Don't let my past with men take you from falling in love. I know you still have Kohaku-chan on your mind, but you told me you were over her, so, just… trust me on this. This man… he won't break my heart and trust. Just because love betrayed you once, doesn't mean it always will. You're keeping yourself from being happy and… and that's all I want – for you to be happy." She said confidently, her eyes shining a little – from tears and… happiness.

He had never seen such a light in her eyes so maybe… she really was happy with this guy.

"…Does he know about… me?" He asked hesitantly, knowing a few of her previous boyfriends didn't like her having a son.

She smiled, almost laughing and he was certain he hadn't seen her so happy about someone she was dating in… almost as long as he remembered.

"Yes, he knows… He understands, he is divorced and has a daughter around your age as well." She said, smiling in relief to know Tetsurou seemed to accept this so far.

… _With my luck it's going to be Akane. They're going to really fall in love, get married and I'll have to deal with my crush and lust for my new step-sister._ He thought bitterly, before realizing he knew nothing about Akane's family.

"So… I'll meet him at the wedding then. It must be pretty serious if you bring him there." He said, glancing at his mom.

She smiled lovingly and nodded. Tetsurou couldn't help but smile back, glad she was finally happy.

"He is, he's very important for me, Tetsurou…"

A ringing at the door made her stand up:

"It must be Kenma!" She exclaimed, going to open to him.

From the voices Tetsurou could hear, it was him. Kenma joined him in the living-room. He had seen him not long ago, but he was still shaken up by the vision of his friend. He was taller, his hair was longer, he seemed a little broader as well.

"…Kenma, you're growing up too fast~!" He exclaimed, a little to embarrass his friend, and a little to cover his discomfort.

"…And you're growing more annoying the older you get." He answered calmly, "Your training camp starts tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, so does yours. Sorry I won't have time to skip by at Nekoma to greet you all."

"It's all right, you're very busy after all…" Kenma said, lowering his head.

They continued talking for the rest of the afternoon, eating the apple pie Miki had made. Spending an afternoon with Kenma and Hime-chan (who had forgotten him for Kenma instead, as usual), eating apple pie, chatting and laughing, playing video-games… It almost felt like home.

"…So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Kenma asked in a low voice when Miki disappeared into another room.

It took a lot from Tetsurou to not drop the manet he was holding.

"W-what are you talking about…?" He asked, trying to sound natural.

"You've been spacing out. Is everything okay for you? At the university and on the team?" Kenma continued.

"Damn it, I had forgotten how observant you can be…" He mumbled, frowning a little, "Nothing's wrong."

"There's definitely something wrong if you say that." Kenma replied.

"There's not."

"There is."

"There's not."

"There is."

"…There's not."

Kenma glanced at him, getting annoyed at the denial-game. Tetsurou sighed, knowing that if he could avoid talking to his mom because she was respecting his boundaries, Kenma would eventually figure him out.

"Is it about Akane?" He asked.

Tetsurou startled and had to catch the manet before it'd hit the ground. He nervously glanced over his shoulder, making sure his mom wasn't around to hear.

"It _is_ about her, then," Kenma concluded, glancing back onto the screen.

The loud sound of _"Game over"_ for Tetsurou reminded him that he was acting weird.

"Well, I expected that much." Kenma continued, as he started another game, partly to give his friend another chance to beat him (good luck) and mostly to cover their voices as they continued speaking.

"H-how did you guess?" Tetsurou asked in a hushed voice.

"Because if there was something wrong with university or practice, you wouldn't have acted this way. The only times I've seen you so confused and lost in your thoughts were when Akane was messing with your mind. Considering you spent the first two weeks complaining about being her neighbor and classmate, I expected you two to continue your crazy antics like you used to."

"…Something's weird. With her – and _me_. With uh, _us_. I don't know what to think or feel. I don't know anything anymore. She's…"

He let out a heavy sigh, Kenma quickly glancing at him with an inquiring eyebrow, encouraging him to talk. Tetsurou glanced once again to make sure his mom wasn't here, then quickly told him about the two main events that had been plaguing his mind recently: the code she left for him every night meaning 'I love you' and the discovery of her part-time job the previous night. It felt even more surreal sharing it with someone who hadn't been here, especially Kenma who knew Akane as well.

Kenma blinked at the 'I love you' revelation; but he turned to Tetsurou in surprise, if not shock, when he heard about her job. He could have almost forgotten the game. _Almost_.

"…Well… I can understand why it's disturbing to learn she's working in such a place… but are you really _that_ surprised about her feelings for you?"

"O-of course! I could have never guessed that _she_ … Why would you think that anyway?"

"Because you feel the same for her," Kenma said with a light shrug, as if it was obvious.

Tetsurou stopped breathing, eyes widening. He did NOT feel the same – maybe a little crush because she was an amazing person and the only one challenging him on every aspect of life and it was so exciting, maybe he was a little lustful because _come on_ , he'd be a fool not to when she had such an exciting body but… but even if she excited his mind _and_ body, there was _no way_ she could possibly feel the same. He wasn't even certain _she_ felt anything for him. Maybe this code thing was just a fluke, or to mess with him.

Seeing that he was panicking a little, Kenma quickly spoke up again:

"At least, it's how it seems to me. You two understand each other better than anyone. You have the highest compatibility with Akane than anyone else. Maybe you should use the training camp away from her to figure out how you feel."

"…I was planning on it… but I can't let it take away my focus from the training camp. It's going to be so important for me and the others."

"…I hope you'll become a regular soon. You deserve it." Kenma said with a smile.

Tetsurou glanced at him, a little surprised, and his heart a little warmer to have his friend's support.

"T-thanks…" He answered.

Not wanting to go back late when he had quite some time on the train and had to get up early the following day for the training camp, Tetsurou had to say goodbye to Kenma, Hime-chan and his mom. He was looking into the plastic bag she had given him with half of what was left of the apple pie, the other half having been given to Kenma to bring home.

Smiling, feeling better and more in synch with himself after spending time with his family, he couldn't wait to go to the training camp. His steps slowed down and his smile wavered when he saw a familiar silhouette just in front of him.

 _You have GOT to be kidding me…!_ He thought, going to a full stop.

A dozen meters ahead of him, he could see Akane walking. Even seeing just her back, even if they had been in a crazy crowd, wearing casual jeans and shirt, he couldn't _not_ recognize her. But in this calm neighborhood with lots of stray cats, there was no one else _but_ Akane. She was walking slowly, keeping pace with an old lady who was holding onto the young girl to walk, leaning on a cane.

Tetsurou instinctively went closer to the nearest wall to not be seen even if he was still in full view, not knowing what to do. Akane hadn't noticed him. Normally he wouldn't _run away_ but he had seen her half-naked the previous night, finding out her part-time job. He was trying to figure out _how_ he felt for her. He could not see her _now_ or it'd mess with his brain and body once again.

Even if it'd take him longer to reach the train station, he'll go another way. Unable to detach his gaze from Akane, still a little shaken up to see her, he turned around to go the opposite way. But he walked straight into a lamp post.

"GEH!" He shouted in pain, wavering backwards.

He fell on his behind, bringing his hands up to his face while moaning. He felt blinded by the pain of hitting on the face a lamp post he hadn't seen, too focused on Akane as he had been. He could feel his nose a little painful but what hurt most was his left eye: he had hit the left side of his face and his eye was throbbing.

"K-Kuroo…?!"

He froze on the ground when he heard Akane's voice. He didn't dare turn around, but she sounded as shocked to see him here as he had been – except that he had unwillingly manifested himself too loudly.

Akane, and the old lady she was accompanying, had turned around at the loud sound of something hitting a metallic lamp post – and the scream that had accompanied it. What a shock it had been to see Kuroo Tetsurou wavering and falling down. If she hadn't been so shocked by his sudden appearance, she would have laughed by how ridiculous he had sounded and looked.

But when she realized he wasn't moving and seemed really hurt, worry shot through her body. She walked away from the lady and ran to him, immediately kneeling down.

"A-are you okay?" She asked, pulling away his hands from his face.

" _No,_ I'm NOT…!" He whined.

He couldn't open his eye without it being painful, the more time went by after the initial shock, the more it hurt. He felt a little blinded, with his left eye throbbing so painfully he had to keep it close, and the right eye filled with tears of pain and half-covered by his bed-hair. But when Akane's fingers touched his wrists, it did things to his body he didn't even think physically, humanly possible. He almost started crying right here and there, at the pain from the hit, and how strange it felt. Which, obviously, made him panic terribly, his heart speeding up too fast for it to be good for his health. Akane's gasp did nothing to settle his nerves.

"Y-you're bleeding…" She murmured in a hushed voice.

"My eye?!" He shouted, panicking even more.

"Your eyebrow. Is it your eye that hurts?" She asked.

"Y-yeah! It hurts… _fuck_ , it hurts…!" He mumbled, trying to cover himself once again.

But she didn't let him, keeping his hands down with one hand while her other reached for the side of his face. When she touched his eyebrow, pain shot through his forehead and he cried out.

"S-sorry! I-I think you should put some ice before it'd get swollen…" Akane said.

"I don't have _ice_ on me!" He hissed, trying to lift up his hands.

"D-don't touch it–"

"It's MY eye!"

"Kuroo, calm down–"

"I can't open my eye for fuck's sake! I have a training camp starting tomorrow! How can I _not_ panic…?! I–"

"KUROO!"

He jumped at the sudden rise of her voice. He looked up and through his blurry vision, he saw her worried expression as she was leaning towards him. Her hands were holding his down and away from his face, but unlike the little struggle they just went through, her touch was soft. She was covering his hands gently and her fingers seemed to tighten, as if trying to hold his hands. He was about to close his own fingers around hers when a voice spoke up right next to them:

"Akane-chan, why don't you bring your friend home? I have some ice to put on his eye." The lady said with a smile.

"O-oh, y-yes… U-um, can you… can you stand up?" Akane asked Kuroo, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

He quickly took her hands away from him and he stood up, not feeling dizzy. It was reassuring. The pain was subsiding as well, it wasn't throbbing as terribly as a moment ago. But he could feel his eye swelling and the constant, slightly numbing pain.

He followed Akane and the old lady and they quickly arrived at a traditional house. While the lady was off to take the ice from her fridge, Akane guided him into a living room. She opened the rice paper doors to let the daylight come in and he saw a little garden. She disappeared a short moment before coming back with a first-aid kit, kneeling down next to him. He closed his eyes and winced when she applied some antiseptic on his eyebrow, slightly open.

"It's swelling and bruising already… how did you manage it? It's _impossible_ to hit the eye like that with the angle of the lamp spot." She mumbled, a hinge of worry in her voice.

It made him feel strangely warm and now that he felt better, he couldn't help but grin:

"Don't you know by now? I make the impossible possible."

He opened his eyes and despite his half-swollen left eye, and his hair falling in front of his right one, he could see her lips tilting up in an amused smile. It was softer than her usual smiles. More beautiful too. He smiled a little more.

The old lady came then with a package of ice and Tetsurou applied it with a sigh of relief. It hurt, but at least, it would keep the swelling at bay.

"T-thank you…" He said, turning towards the lady he could barely see through the mass of his hair.

He vaguely tried to push it away but it was useless and he was doomed for a curtain of black hair in front of his vision. He caught sight of Akane holding back her laugh at that but he ignored her.

"I am Maki Keiko, young man, you are welcome in my humble house for as long as you need."

"K-Kuroo Tetsurou… nice to meet you a-and… thank you for the… uh, everything…" He said with an awkward nod.

She nodded back with a big smile. She was like every neighborhood's old ladies, acting like a grandma to everyone.

"I believe you are acquainted with Akane-chan?" She continued with a knowing glint in her eyes.

They glanced at each other, a little awkward and suddenly a little blushy.

"H-he's… um, a classmate… from high-school and the university…" Akane answered.

Tetsurou kept his right eye open and staring at her. Were they really _just_ classmates at this point? She must have felt his silent question, because she glanced at him and immediately looked away, cheeks turning a little redder.

"Then, I'll leave you two. I'm tired after our walk. If you need me Akane-chan, I'll be in the living-room."

"T-thank you, Maki-san," Tetsurou said.

"Thank you, grandma…" Akane echoed.

Tetsurou whipped towards her so suddenly he was pretty sure that, other than his eye and the left side of his face, he probably hurt his neck as well. Maki chuckled, standing up and leaving them alone.

"She's… your grandmother…?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"…No. Not by blood, but… I've known her my entire life and she took care of me when I needed." Akane answered, looking down at her hands resting on top of her thighs.

"…She seems nice." He said, feeling stupid for not having anything else to say.

"She is," Akane answered with a smile.

He was taken aback by this smile. It was so soft and lovely, it made his heart skip a few beats.

They stared at each other until Akane looked away then approached him slowly. He stopped breathing, wondering what it would take for her lips to touch his and to start making out. Would it be bad if Maki was in another room? She was old, she probably wouldn't notice, right?

But despite his imagination running wild, Akane only approached her hand to the package of ice he was holding – package that he had forgotten with her getting so tentatively close to have a look at his eye – the pain seemed gone, for some reason. Was it the ice numbing the pain away? Or Akane's scent invading his senses and making him forget about everything else? Apple and cinnamon, goodness, he should have told his mom to add cinnamon in the apple pie. His mouth was watering for it right now.

While Akane was observing his face, he didn't realize he was leaning closer to her until they both froze from how awkward it had become, how incredibly close they suddenly were. He opened his eyes wide (for the right one, the left one was as wide as it could get at the moment).

"…A-are you _sniffing_ me…?" Akane asked in a low voice, not daring to meet his eyes.

"…No." He answered, all the while knowing he had tried to get closer to smell her.

He blushed and backed away, swallowing hard and avoiding looking her way. She remained there, frozen in shock a short moment, both knowing he had lied but then, blushing too much for her own sake, she glanced at him quickly. Seeing him injured (because of his own stupidity, though, which was the only slightly funny part), blushing and looking so… _so_ … _so precious_. She swallowed hard when her heart sped up, making her cheeks turn even redder.

She suddenly applied the package of ice on his face once again, accidentally using too much strength, almost punching him with it.

" _Geh!"_ He screamed when pain shot through his head again.

"S-sorry!" She exclaimed, feeling only half-guilty.

"Does it look _that_ bad that you'd refuse to even look at my face?!" He whined, holding the ice with his own hands.

"…It doesn't look like you'll die, or lose your sight… you probably won't have to see a doctor." She said, avoiding his question when she had to bite on her tongue to not answer _"on the contrary"._

" _That_ bad, uh?" He concluded, grinning up at her.

Akane startled. Even with a package of ice over half of his face and most of the other side of his face covered by his bed-hair, his eye sparkled with mischievousness and something incredibly soft that took her breath away. And his grin… _gods_ , his grin was driving her _mad_. She felt dizzy and trembling.

"At least… it didn't take my charm away, right?" He asked again, raising his eyebrows.

Feeling weak and exposed, unable to fight him, and her own feelings, Akane almost leaned down to kiss him when he said that with such a playful expression on his face. But a wince of pain from him reminded her that he was _hurt_ , and he was _so_ because he was a _huge, clumsy dork._

"Whenever you feel like it, I'll walk you home…" She sighed, rolling her eyes, not believing she had almost fallen for his pretty eyes, "With one eye covered with the ice, and the other with your hair, you'd be capable of walking into _another_ obstacle."

"I'm perfectly capable of walking back on my own," he said, even though he was a little excited that she'd nurse him.

"Somehow, I doubt it," she replied, "How can you even see through this thick layer of hair?" She asked in disbelief, nodding at his bed-hair falling over his face.

"Don't you know? My right eye is a bionic eye that allows me to see through _everything_." He hummed with a silly smile.

He looked her up and down, grinning hugely while she shook her head in amusement, a light smile lighting up her face.

"Mmm… you look _ravishing_ today as well… And how _naughty~!"_ He hummed appreciatively.

He would have winked if he had an available eye, but winking with the eye that was mostly hidden by his hair wasn't very effective. But when after his words, Akane froze and blushed, he froze and blushed as well.

"Eh?" She asked.

"Eh?" He echoed.

She looked away, blushing terribly. His heart went crazy, wondering what exactly she was wearing under her clothes to blush at being told it was "naughty" – especially with her line of work!

" _Oh OH~!_ W-what are you wearing under that…? You _are_ wearing something, right?" He asked, a huge, amused grin on his face.

"U-use your bionic eye to figure it out, you dork!" She exclaimed, glaring at him for embarrassing her.

His lips trembled and he couldn't help himself, he jerked his head backwards, laughing suddenly. Akane chuckled as well, trying to smother her laugh. They laughed softly, and he ended up watching her. Her blushed cheeks, her sparkling eyes, her huge smile… gods, he hadn't seen such an honest and beautiful expression on her face in years. She looked so good and he couldn't stop smiling… Akane looked up, catching his gaze and smiling back.

When the glance turned into full, long seconds of staring and shared smile, they blushed and startled, immediately glancing away.

"I-I s-should go…" He said suddenly.

"R-right you need… to rest."

"Y-yeah, t-training camp, tomorrow…"

"R-right, if you can see by then… I-I'll go warn grandma…" She said, starting to stand up.

"I-I need to thank her as well…" He answered.

He stood up as well, but they had done the same thing in the same time, bumping awkwardly into each other. They muttered apologize while he stepped away to let her walk first, but she tried a step forward to the wrong side, bumping into him once again. She turned to the other side, he did the same, they bumped into each other again. After some swinging around and lots of awkwardness, Akane finally managed to lead the way and he followed her. They thanked and said goodbye to the old lady who smiled knowingly when they left.

Tetsurou pretended to be more hurt than he really was, using Akane as a cane, but by then, she had understood he was just playing the big baby and kept rolling her eyes all the way to the train station. When he understood she wasn't being fooled, he switched to another tactic to try and embarrass her:

"Aaaw, Aka-love, you _really_ hurt me earlier…~! If I had known it'd be so _~intense~_ I wouldn't have let you take charge~!" He said loud enough for everyone in the train to hear.

Everyone glanced at them with wide eyes. Akane turned to him with eyes even wider, not believing he'd dare say such a thing in public – which only made everyone believe it all the more. Her lips fell open when he grinned victoriously at her but then, a light lit up in her eyes and, unfazed by everyone hearing, determined to have her revenge, she crossed her arms over her breasts and looked away, huffing disdainfully.

" _You're_ the one who wanted it kinky to begin with!" She answered, pretending to be exasperated.

It was Tetsurou's turn to be shocked, blushing along with everyone around, wondering what sort of 'kinky' would get him _that_ hurt.

 _And fuck_ , his mind was too full of _kinky thoughts_ to think of an answer to give her.

Akane smirked victoriously, knowing she had won this time. Tetsurou lowered his head, suddenly wishing everyone would look away. He had tried embarrassing her, but _she_ had embarrassing _him_.

 _Gods… she's driving me crazy_ … He thought to himself, biting hard on his lower lip to hold back the excited laugh bubbling in his throat.

* * *

 _Kenma was here, and obviously, Miki is my OC as I interpret Kuroo's family life. They're slowly opening up to each other~_

 _Another song for AkaKuro plyalist: **"Sad Song" from We the Kings & Elena Coats**_

 _NEXT CHAPTER: SOFT, WARM REALIZATION..._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	8. Soft, Warm Realization…

_Valentine's Day Special~_

 _Here have a gift for the day of love of all kinds~!_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed~! ;)_

 _ **jungkookies** : Please don't explode - but I geuss it's a good sign? :D Yeah, Kuroo really seems like an only son with single mom._

 _ **KirikaAndo** : Isn't it amazing that you nd Kuroo think alike?! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER VIII : Soft, Warm Realization…

" _I crave the moments when you tell me you thought of me. The moments when you text me randomly just to say that you missed me. More than anything I crave your acceptance."_

— **Unknown**

" _I didn't know what to call it, what was happening between us, but I liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good."_

— **Ransom Riggs**

" _I'm not sure that I love you._

 _I'm not sure that I can love."_

— **Unknown**

" _We met, and I didn't mean to, but I fell in love. Your eyes met mine, and you took my breath away, then soon enough you took my heart too."_

— **Unknown**

" _There's something godly yet sinful about loving her."_

— **Unknown**

" _I don't care, I love you anyhow. It is too late to turn you out of my heart. Part of you lives here."_

— **Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters**

" _I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others – The only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad."_

— **Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated**

" _I began to wonder what life would be like if I dropped the act and began to trust that being myself would be enough to get the love I needed."_

— **Donald Miller, Scary Close**

" _She was beautiful. God I loved her. I just didn't know how to show it, that's all."_

— **The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Dir. Frank Darabont**

" _I'm forced to deal with what I feel_

 _There is no distraction to mask what is real."_

— **Twenty One Pilots, Car Radio, Album: Regional at Best (2011)**

 _On Monday morning, Ajinomoto Training Center, Tokyo…_

"What have you done?!" Bokuto exclaimed, dropping his bag when he saw Kuroo show up at training camp… with a darkened eye and bruised brow bone.

Everyone turned around and opened wide eyes upon seeing Kuroo like that, his friends, and the team's Captain all got closer.

"What happened to you?" The Captain asked.

"Eeeh… it's a long story…" He mumbled, "But I'm okay! It doesn't hurt at all, and I can see clearly enough! It's… an injury from three days ago, so I don't feel anything anymore." He explained, ignoring the confused glances his group of friends threw at each other.

"Are you sure?" The Captain asked again, frowning, not wanting him to force himself to play if he had any injury.

"Certain!"

"…The coaches will decide whether or not you can play – if you do, at the slightest dizziness, you take a break, okay?" He continued with a hard voice.

"Y-yes, Captain…" He answered, sounding a little bitter to take the risk of being benched.

He put down his bag and started changing clothes, feeling the burning gazes of the rest of the team. The changing-room felt incredibly crowded and he realized a few guys he didn't recognize had increased their number… Everyone was here – even the players who lived and trained somewhere else than Tokyo, like Iwaizumi. As soon as most of the changing-room was emptied, while Kuroo was still changing, his friends surrounded him – especially Bokuto who, _for a change_ , didn't have any notion of personal space:

"The last time we saw you was before yesterday night and you _definitely_ didn't have any injury – so when and what happened?" He asked in a voice as low as he could make.

Kuroo glanced around nervously, making sure no one would hear then he sighed:

" _Akane_ happened." He mumbled, pulling out his kneepads to keep if he needed them (he was a good receiver and usually avoided putting them on, but on the National team the spikes were so powerful he often fell on his knees).

"She punched you?!" Oikawa exclaimed, Iwaizumi immediately shushing him for keeping it down.

" _No!_ She wouldn't leave such a mark on me if she tried punching me anyway…" He answered, before pausing thoughtfully, "Well, maybe a bruise or two but… definitely not a swollen and black eye. I just… went to see my mom yesterday and while I was on my way back I happened… to see her from afar."

He paused, trying to find a good way to explain, without losing any dignity, that he had tried running away from her before pathetically running into a lamp post.

"And I ended up hitting some stupid stuff on the way that left me with a blackened eye… she…"

His voice broke and he flushed, very much aware of everyone's intense gazes on him.

"She helped me out. That's it." He said in a breath, feeling boiling.

"…That's _it?_ " Oikawa repeated, obviously not believing him.

"Yeah."

The others glanced at each other, wondering how much of it was the truth. How much he hid from them. Then, Bokuto turned towards Kuroo:

"You're telling us that you hit something that left you a black eye, that Akane nursed you and that nothing else happened between you two?"

"Yeah." He answered, staring back firmly at the owl-boy.

Bokuto narrowed his eyes, observing him closely then taking another step closer – but Kuroo didn't stop looking him down:

"Even after what happened the other night at the Gem's?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kuroo tried to keep calm, he _tried_ to remain calm – but his heart sped up, his body felt hotter and his cheeks betrayed him by flushing. Everyone looked at him triumphantly:

"Y-yeah." He answered, voice trembling a little.

"It's more likely she actually punched you hard enough to leave you in this state." Iwaizumi said, everyone nodding.

"I-I swear! Nothing happened! She helped me out but that's _it!"_

"Sure, we believe you." Bokuto snorted, the others shaking their heads at his words.

" _But!_ I!"

Kuroo growled, looking up at the ceiling in despair that they wouldn't believe him when he was _telling the truth._

"Kuroo-kun! Coach wants to see you!" One of their senpai called.

The middle-blocker startled and quickly grabbed his stuff before going on the courts, followed by his friends. After a quick talk, convincing the coaches that he could definitely practice and that his play wouldn't be influenced by his 'injury' he was allowed to practice like the others, at the condition to be extra careful.

Without surprise, the training camp was more intense than the regular practices, but it wasn't as vicious as the training camp they had gone through for choosing the players who would be sponsored. The first day was almost easy compared to what they had done the last time. A few girlfriends came by, mostly for the senpais and obviously, during a break, while their Captain was talking with his fiancée, they couldn't help but think of their own girls.

"Is Ayaka-chan going to come visit us?" Oikawa asked curiously, turning to Bokuto who looked away – it surprised everyone.

They had just talked about important people, like the Kanemoto, coming to see how the team was doing and of course, with the girls in the back of their minds, they all thought of Bokuto's one and only.

"She can't, this year she's the main manager of Fukurodani's team. And they have their training camp this week." Kuroo answered.

Bokuto sighed deeply, shoulders going down – that explained why he seemed so down since Ayaka's name had been mentioned.

"Aww, that sucks… you can't see your girlfriend even during holidays… It's actually worst because even if it's holidays you see her even _less_ than usual…" Oikawa said, truly sounding sympathetic.

Bokuto looked up at him, holding back tears at the thought of seeing his Ayaka even _less_ than usual. Startling guiltily, Oikawa didn't know what to say to comfort him, Iwaizumi rolling his eyes.

"You _do_ know what to say, you imbecile…" He mumbled.

Ushijima glanced away as Bokuto was slowly drifting into his emo mood. He blinked then tapped Iwaizumi's shoulder, pointing at the entrance of the gymnasium. Catching sight of Kiku, Hajime immediately grinned and ran to her, a sheepish, adorable blush on his face.

"That's _it!_ Go and betray _me!"_ Bokuto exclaimed dramatically.

"Stop saying nonsense and come greet the lady," Kuroo said, grabbing the collar of his shirt and dragging him behind, following the rest of the group.

As they reached Kiku, she quickly glanced at them but froze upon seeing Kuroo, a gasp escaping her lips, hands coming to her mouth:

"W-what happened to you, K-Kuroo-kun…?!"

"He was punched by his girlfriend when they got kinky in bed," Oikawa said with his usual, innocent smile.

"I did _not!_ I _wasn't!_ She's not! It's not what happened _at all,_ but these idiots don't believe me!" Kuroo exclaimed, pointing accusingly at them.

Ushijima remained calm, Oikawa chuckled and Bokuto stuck his tongue out at him, riling up the cat. He hissed at them, Bokuto in particular.

"Well, there's nothing wrong in getting kinky once in a while, but you shouldn't get hurt before a training camp." Kiku said, glancing quickly at her boyfriend, with a coy smile.

He flushed a little but grinned anyway just as Kuroo whipped towards them:

"For the last time I was not being kin– hold on… does this mean you _two_ get kinky? Even though you look so innocent~?" He asked, a teasing grin appearing on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Iwaizumi answered, staring straight at him, despite his blushing cheeks.

" _I_ know about it…" Oikawa mumbled with a pout, glancing down at his water bottle.

They all turned towards him with wide eyes, he glanced up, blinking, while Kuroo grinned, a knowing look on his face. Bokuto stammered a little but pointed at Oikawa, then Iwaizumi and Kiku…

"So… you _three…?"_

Oikawa and Iwaizumi blinked, then Kiku sighed, blushing in embarrassment when she understood what they had misinterpreted. _Then_ , Oikawa and Iwaizumi understood as well and blushed, gasping loudly.

"WHAT!"

" _NO!"_

"What are you thinking?! It's disgusting!"

"OH OH OH~!" Kuroo exclaimed, never letting go of this information.

"Then, you're not–" Bokuto started.

"NO!" They both screamed while Kiku was rolling her eyes.

"He's just! I hear them screaming _all_ the time! So I know how kinky they are because of that!"

"What do you mean by that?! You're listening to us now?!" Iwaizumi hissed, whipping towards his friend, anger appearing on his face.

"It's not my _intention_ but you are _SO loud!"_

"We're not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"NO! We're not! You're just a pervert! There's no way you could hear us now that Kiku lives above your place!"

Oikawa gave him a long, annoyed look and for a short moment, Hajime and Kiku were reminded of the dark circles under his eyes this morning and what he had mumbled about them being loud… they hadn't understood at that time but…

Kuroo laughed loudly, interrupting the argument, and making the couple realize that maybe they _might_ be a _little_ loud at times. They blushed terribly, Kiku hiding behind Hajime.

"You're THAT loud?! So loud you're heard from another floor?!"

"Well, I mostly hear the bed against the floor– y'know, my ceiling! But because a few months ago, my bedroom was right next to _his…!_ I know all too well how kinky they can get! They're the kinkiest beings to be!"

"Kinkier than _me?"_ Kuroo asked curiously, raising a surprised eyebrow.

"Probably."

"O-oi!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, blushing even more.

"I'm impressed," Kuroo said with a nod.

Iwaizumi mumbled incoherent sentences, probably cursing them, while Bokuto was joining Kuroo in his laughing and Ushijima tried not to get too embarrassed by their presence, tempted to just run off and practice his serves.

"We'll get back to practice soon," Iwaizumi realized, when he saw the time, _"Thank you_ for ruining the few minutes I could have had with my girlfriend!" He hissed at the others.

"It's not like you could get ki–" Kuroo started.

"If you say the word 'kinky' I'm going to hit you!" Iwaizumi threatened with a dark aura surrounding him.

Even though it was destined to Iwaizumi, Oikawa shivered and leaned towards the middle-blocker:

" _Listen_ to him, he's _serious…!"_ He whispered but was heard by everyone.

"…Fair enough, then." Kuroo concluded, but he couldn't stop smiling.

"Ah, um… I made something for you actually," Kiku intervened hesitantly, lifting up a bag they hadn't noticed before, "You and all of your teammates… there should be enough, I think…"

Hajime took the first box she was handing him and opened it, smiling when he saw his favorite cookies. The others had curiously leaned forward as well and immediately brightened up:

"Kiku-chan's cookies~! It's been so long!" Oikawa exclaimed, already reaching for one but his hand was slapped by Iwaizumi.

"Wait for everyone to be served before you get one! And what do you mean 'so long' you guys have dinner together almost everyday! You get to eat her cookies and patisserie _all_ the time!" He mumbled, a hinge of envy in his voice.

Oikawa pouted but Iwaizumi walked around the gymnasium, distributing cookies to everyone and going on and on about his girlfriend's culinary talents – little by little everyone around the gymnasium ended up praising Kiku from afar, or teasing Iwaizumi, but he was too happy that she was around to really let it get to him.

"If only Ayaka could cook half as well… not even a half, just a third, or a _quarter_ … I'll be in heavens…" Bokuto whined, sadly looking at his half-eaten cookie.

"Didn't you say she had managed to bake some cookies before the Spring High?" Kuroo asked.

"Well, yeah, but she tried again after and… it didn't end so well for me…" He answered, shoulders dropping, "It's like the entirety of her cooking capacities ended up gathered in this _one-time_ miracle…" He explained, still looking at the cookie.

Kuroo fought a laugh, patting his shoulder in comfort.

"Kuroo," Ushijima called.

He turned to him, just as he pointed at the entrance. And he froze when he saw Akane. She stood there, a little awkwardly, trying not to look at him too much. Tetsurou's mouth fell open and he almost dropped the cookie he had been holding, staring at her in a mix of awe and surprise… She glanced at him, then lifted up her hand in a quick, awkward wave.

"A-Akkaaa… Saito." He said in a breath.

Under the gazes of everyone, that he tried to ignore, he walked to her.

"W-what… what are you doing… here…?" He asked curiously.

The last time she had visited him during practice it was to bring back his wallet. A surprising act of kindness, despite the joke she had left in it and he couldn't get off. It had been a one-time thing, or so he had expected… but she was here, she was back. She was standing right here in front of him, looking sheepish and adorably awkward, avoiding looking directly at him.

 _Look at me, look at me, look at me… No, don't look, or I'll lose it. NO! Look at me, I need to see your eyes! Look at me! Look at me, look at me, look at me_ … He thought frenetically, cheeks slowly turning red (but only because it was very hot in the gymnasium with a group of volleyball players training so intensely, _obviously_ ).

She glanced up and he stopped breathing, a smile appearing on his face that he desperately tried to fight off.

"I… was studying and thought of you and your… _y'know_ …"

Her finger tapped the corner of her left eye, a light smile appearing on her face as well before she continued:

"I was passing by and I was wondering how you were doing for your training camp… _soooo_ …"

Silence. And she smiled, flushing a little but there was a sort of bounciness in the way she straightened up and looked up at him.

"How are you doing?" She asked in a lighter voice than usual.

He smiled wider and almost busted out laughing, just to see her, so happy, so natural. It took everything he had not to lean down and take her in his arms, to be surrounded by her scent, or to just push her against the nearest wall and kiss her passionately. _Wrong, wrong, wrong thoughts._ Not what he should be thinking at the moment. She was just… Akane. It was just the girl he had seen grow up and evolve for the last few years, just a girl he had a crush on. A girl with beautiful eyes, with an enchanting smile, with a breathtaking intelligence, an unexpected kindness and fragile side. A girl who drove him crazy, who enchanted him, who bewitched him…

When he kept staring at her, smiling like an idiot, without answering, Akane's smile slowly wavered. She opened and closed her lips, wondering if he had forgotten to answer, or if he had answered and she had been too lost in his golden eyes to hear, or if she had just imagined speaking up… And so, her gaze was just as captured by his eyes and soul as he was with her at the moment. She had to hold back a chuckle, cheeks getting warmer. Actually, her entire body felt warm and good.

Her lips trembling must have taken Kuroo out of his staring because he jerked awake, his brain reminded him she had just asked a question:

"I'm… fine…" He stammered, not believing he was actually _stammering_.

"Are you… really…? It… was a pretty big hit you took yesterday, when you walked into this lamp-post…" She continued, sounding a little absent-minded from how lost in his gaze she was.

He was about to answer when they heard another voice, trying in vain to whisper but his voice was naturally too loud for the intention to be effective:

"So he was telling the truth?! They didn't get kinky in bed?" Bokuto exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Shhh! He's going to hear!" Oikawa scolded, but not any less loud.

Kuroo and Saito both looked at the court's entrance, where the group of friends was gathered there, observing closely, curiously, and listening to everything… Feeling like he wanted to bury them all, and then himself, Kuroo just glared.

"Did… is this what you told them?" Akane asked curiously, looking almost amused.

"NO! Uuugh, they didn't believe me when I said the truth and they interpreted it wrongly with these perverted minds of theirs!"

Shocked gasps on the side.

"Did he just call _us_ perverts?! OI! Kuroo! Did you not look at yourself in the mirror recently?!" Bokuto exclaimed, about to step forward but he was held back by Oikawa and Ushijima.

Akane was fighting her laugh now, looking up at Kuroo who actually seemed a little, _just a little_ , embarrassed.

"Because you have such a good-hearted and pure mind yourself, right, Kuroo?" She said, almost purring his name.

His body froze, electricity shooting through it.

"W-well, you know me…" He said, with a nervous chuckle when he saw where this was going.

Her red lips turned into a big smile and he froze again, this time out of breath. She stepped closer, eyes traveling over his chest – he was suddenly very aware that his shirt stuck to his skin because of sweat. She lifted one hand and very innocently, almost accidentally – but he knew better – let her fingers travel along the length of his abs and stopping over his pectorals before dropping her hand, as if nothing had happened. His muscles tensed and he trembled, holding back the will to just grab her and kiss her right here and now, to hell with anyone watching. Then, her eyes met his again and he saw the light he loved so much in her reddish eyes – playful, almost mocking, passionate, so lively, filled with desire but not close enough to lust for it to be a serious intent… He could drown in these eyes.

"Yes, I _do_." She answered in a voice so low he was the only one to hear.

His heart accelerated wildly and he opened his lips, about to ask her if she wanted to go somewhere else but a loud voice resonated from the gymnasium, all the way here:

"Back to practice, everyone!" The Captain shouted.

Kuroo's heart sank and he let out a heavy breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Akane must have realized how physically close they were because she stepped away, coughing a little and pulling very lightly at the tip of her hair. His heart missed a beat at how adorable she was – he almost _squealed_ , in a very embarrassing manner.

"So… see you… later… I guess?" He said hesitantly, not really wanting to step away from her.

He blinked at the thought – it was rare… _unusual_ , a _first_ that he didn't want to step away from someone, from a girl, from _Akane_.

"U-um…"

They both knew that now that she knew he was okay, there was no reason for her to show up again at his practice… The 'later' would definitely not be tonight, or another day, not until class… it seemed to dishearten both, though, both not understanding why they'd feel this way.

"Don't worry, Kuroo-kun!" Kiku suddenly exclaimed, grabbing Akane's arm and surrounding it with hers.

Kuroo and Akane both stared at her with wide eyes.

"Akane-chan and I have a _lot_ to talk about!"

"We do?" Akane asked, eyes even wider.

"We'll watch you practice!" Kiku continued enthusiastically.

"We _will?"_

"So, see you later!" Kiku exclaimed, dragging Akane away to the stairs that would lead them to the benches to watch the boys practice.

"Uuuuh… girl, you're cute, but… _who are you?"_ Akane asked, at a loss.

"Tch, it's cold of you not to remember me. But you were so focused on Kuroo-kun, it's not a surprise you didn't see anyone else but him~!" Kiku continued.

Just before they'd disappear in the stairs, Akane glanced over her shoulder at Kuroo. He could have almost laughed at her thunderstruck expression but then, she disappeared, with Kiku.

A smile appeared on Kuroo's face as Iwaizumi and Bokuto joined him, both smiling a little teasingly.

"What just happened?" He asked them.

"I don't want to know what Kiku has in mind, but prepare for trouble." Iwaizumi answered, looking amused by his girlfriend's mischief.

He actually laughed at Kuroo's face as they went back to practice, but Bokuto still remained at his side, glancing quickly at him then smiling teasingly:

"Sooo… Akane said she was studying when she thought of you and decided to come and check on you because she was passing by." He started, a light in his eyes.

"Uum, yeah?" Kuroo hesitantly, not knowing how to escape his knowing smile.

"…Your apartment complex and university are pretty far from here, at the other side of town actually, so she can't have suddenly 'dropped by'. Also, she doesn't know where you would practice. So, it means she actually went to our usual gymnasium, asked for information and came all the way _here_ – the other side of Tokyo. Just to _check on you_ …" He continued.

Kuroo's eyes widened lightly, realizing that _indeed_ , there was no way Akane would have known beforehand his training camp was at the Ajinomoto Training Center and she wouldn't have anything to do around here that would be excuse enough… So, that _means_ …

"She must have been _really_ worried for you to travel so much around Tokyo." Bokuto concluded.

A stupid smile appeared on Kuroo's face and even if he was aware of Bokuto's teasing eyes, he didn't really care.

"She was worried about me…" He realized, voice a little low.

Oikawa and the others, who had joined the duo, chuckled at the obvious realization. Kuroo glanced up at the seats, where Kiku and Akane were sitting. She still didn't seem to realize what had happened to her while Kiku waved at them happily. Akane's eyes met his and his heart missed a beat.

After everything that had happened and the indescribable joy that was filling him to know she had worried for him, gone all the way here for him and was now watching his practice… He couldn't deny it anymore.

"I think I have a crush on Akane…" He whispered, unable to look away from her and wishing she were right next to him so he'd feel her warmth.

The others whipped towards him with surprised eyes but huge smiles.

"You _think?"_ Bokuto mocked, laughing loudly at his friend's realization – he was almost more excited than he was about it.

" _Only_ a crush?" Oikawa added, shaking lightly his head.

"Oh shut up, you all. Especially _you_ , ~mister I-won't-admit-I-have-a-crush-on-my-rival's-cousin-because-I'm-too-proud~!" Kuroo said in a mocking voice, smirking again when he saw Oikawa's smile drop and all color disappear from his face when Ushijima stared at him, then he blushed and stammered pathetically, and everyone laughed at him.

Kuroo stopped laughing first but no one noticed him glancing once again at Akane. He had expected a world-turned-upside-down feeling when he'd realize he had a crush, _arhem_ , _feelings_ for anyone, especially _Saito Akane_ but… it came softly, warmly. Instead of a tsunami crushing him in an apocalyptic world, it was more like a tranquil wave tickling his feet while he was watching a sunset, holding Akane's hand.

He was scared of love, but if it felt like that, he might not mind that much after all, he realized with a smile.

* * *

 _I hope you liked it~! Oikawa's fanfic will also have a Valentine Special, don't worry, just give me a little more time~!_

 _Playlist song: **"Undisclosed Desire" from Muse**_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : TRUST-BREAK_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	9. Trust-Break

_I hadn't planned on posting a chapter but today in Japan is National cats' day so...~ XD_

 _Here, have another chapter! :D_

 _Thank you for everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **Dina Sana** : Kuroo is adorkable when in love, isn't he~?_

 _ **jungkookies** : I think this fanfic is going to altern between fluffy-sexy-sad! XD I had a werid dream with the haikyuu characters the other day as well, I'm not getting over it... x)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER IX : Trust-Break

" _There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."_

— **Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss**

' _Isn't it exhausting?'_

' _What?'_

' _Keeping people out.'_

— **K.A. Tucker, Ten Tiny Breaths Lol**

" _I admit that for me love goes deeper than the struggle, or maybe what I mean is, love is the deeper struggle."_

— **Julia Alvarez, In the Time of the Butterflies**

" _I'm not sure anybody ever gets completely over their first love, and that still rankles. Part of me still wants to know what was wrong with me. What I was lacking."_

— **Stephen King, Joyland**

" _Probably the Biggest Insight…is that Happiness is not just a place, but also a process…"_

— **Ed Diener**

" _However, I've learned that the heart can't be told when and who and how it should love. The heart does whatever the hell it wants to do. The only thing we can control is whether we give our lives and our minds the chance to catch up to our hearts."_

— **Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday**

" _It is so much safer not to feel, not to let the world touch me."_

— **Sylvia Plath**

" _Maybe you're desperate for love. Always have been in your life. But you've been distrustful of people. Is there anything about them that scares us, that's dangerous, that's going to hurt us? Because a lot of people are frightened to death of love."_

— **Marlon Brando, Listen to Me Marlon**

" _Undeniable chemistry and horrific timing. They love each other."_

― **Darnell Lamont Walker**

" _Somehow the silence seemed to connect us in a way like words never could."_

— **Flipped (2010), Dir. Rob Reiner**

" _We have a history, she and I."_

— **Unknown**

" _We fail and sigh,_

 _and come back_

 _for another try."_

— **Bruce Adler**

" _I call her the devil cause she makes me wanna sin. And every time she knocks, I can't help but let her in…"_

— **Unknown**

" _For just a bunch of atoms and cells we really are problematic and complex."_

— **Sophia Carey**

" _Holding people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear."_

— **Sarah Dessen**

" _I'm scared as hell to want you. But here I am, wanting you anyway."_

— " **Crash Into Me, Part Two." Grey's Anatomy**

" _The more she likes me, the more closed off she becomes. The more sarcasm she inflicts on me. Vulnerability makes her feel weak."_

— **Colleen Hoover and Tarryn Fisher, Never Never**

" _Don't let fear turn you into a monster of self-destruction."_

— **Unknown**

In the end, by the time practice was over, Akane was gone. Kiku explained that she had needed to go for work and couldn't stay. Tetsurou hid very well his emotions, just shrugging it off before going to take a shower. Disappointment not to see her again, or talk to her again, or continue their flirting from earlier. Jealousy she was going to show her body to an entire room full of perverts drunken of her sight. Annoyance to not know if it really was a tattoo on her back.

A heavy heart from all of this and because he didn't want to admit _how much_ he felt, _too much_ , he just followed the others. Bokuto was ecstatic that Kuroo had (finally) admitted his love for Akane– JUST a _crush_ , but Tetsurou was totally ignored while Bokuto went on and on. By the time of dinner, Ayaka knew and was messaging him, congratulating him (it was just a crush, they weren't getting married, damn it), Akaashi as well messaged him, wishing him good luck (he wasn't wrong and Tetsurou was grateful for the thoughtful attention), the former third-years of Fukurodani somehow heard about it (he totally blamed Ayaka and Bokuto), then his former teammates of Nekoma, then _all_ of Nekoma and especially Kenma, who all somehow ended up saying _"finally"_ or _"took you long enough!"_ or _"I'm happy for you!"_ (since when had he been crushing on her for everyone to apparently know before _him?)._

"Oi, are you going to keep telling _everyone_ about it?" He mumbled to Bokuto, after an annoyingly long message from Lev.

"But I'm so glad! You're finally getting over Kohaku!" Bokuto exclaimed happily.

Tetsurou froze then he forced his muscles to relax. It was so fast that no one except Bokuto noticed. As usual, the owl had sharp eyes at the wrong times. Tetsurou ignored his worried, long staring, slowly letting his phone down.

"Ah, yeah. Maybe." He said without looking at Bokuto.

The former Captain of Fukurodani stared at him. Kuroo laid down on his futon.

"I'm going to sleep, this first day was exhausting." He mumbled, closing his eyes and pretending to be off to sleep.

"…Okay, good night."

Tetsurou _tried_ to sleep, and he thought that the reason why he couldn't was because of the lights and noise around but when everyone went to sleep and the lights were off, he opened his eyes staring at the darkness surrounding him. He turned on his back and started telling himself all the chemical elements of periodic table – it always helped him sleep. But he could only focus on one or two elements before his mind wandered, on Akane and…

" _You're finally getting over Kohaku!"_

" _I know you still have Kohaku-chan on your mind, but you told me you were over her."_

 _Right_ , the last time he had ended up with a crush on someone, dating someone, she had ended up breaking his heart and trust. Minamoto Kohaku, a proud, fiery girl he got curious about in his second-year of high-school. Because she was so different from the others and had spurt his interest, he had asked her out and she had said yes. At first, no one seemed to really expect them to last, especially not the two of them, but they did. It was good and happy what they had – they were discovering dating, new sensations, new feelings, each other… but after a few months, Kohaku just closed herself from him. She wouldn't talk, she wouldn't smile, she was like a ghost of herself – he tried to be open, understanding, to get her to trust him but slowly, the distance grew. Their hearts didn't work anymore for their couple, the only thing they had was the time they spent in bed on the week-end. More distance, less talking, more sex, less feelings. They didn't even get bored of it, they just got… numb about it all. Then, one day, when Kohaku became disagreeable to Kenma, Tetsurou just snapped. They broke up and she disappeared for days. That was when he found out the truth she had been hiding for months: her parents were divorcing and she had decided to keep it all to herself. He had trusted her with his heart, but she hadn't done the same. She broke his trust and heart and went away to another prefecture without even looking back and thinking on the consequences on _his_ heart. For almost an entire year, he could barely consider dating or touching another girl. It was only after one quickie with a girl who had been desperately trying to get to date him that he realized that even if he didn't love whoever he was with, he could still have his way with girls. His broken heart got a little less broken, it was fixed, harder and he swore to never fall in love again.

And now he was crushing on _Saito Akane_ of all people…

 _What a fool_ … He thought to himself, covering his eyes with his forearm.

Even if his mind constantly drifted back to Akane, the following days were surprisingly relaxing. As relaxing as an intensive volleyball training camp could get at least. But he didn't have to study ( _too_ much), he didn't have to think about Akane ( _that_ much), he got some good manly time with his friends… All in all, it was only a good time.

"Are you going to ask her out?" Bokuto asked on the final day of the training camp.

Busy drinking water, Kuroo didn't even realize he was addressing to him until everyone else turned to him curiously.

"What?" He let out, blinking.

"Are you going to ask Akane out? That'd be cool if we could go on double dates – _triple_ dates when Iwaizumi is here with Kiku! _Quadruple_ dates when Oikawa will admit his love for um… _someone_ , y'know! And… what's the word after 'quadruple'?" Bokuto asked curiously, turning towards the others.

"It's quintuple, idiot. And hell! I'm not going to _ask her out!_ Are you crazy?! She'd laugh at me, and then she'll rip my eyes out for even _thinking_ it!" Kuroo exclaimed, holding back a laugh at the stupid idea.

"But you love her! You should show her your feelings for her! Then, you'll live happily ever after, like Ayaka and I!"

"I admire your positivity, and your will to offer us all _happily ever after…_ but that's never going to happen. Not with Akane, not with _anyone_. I have no intention of dating or getting serious with anyone – and I might have a stupid crush on Akane but that's _it!_ It's not like she'd be interested in happily ever after with _me_ , anyway. Or even have a _crush_ on me – she _hates_ me!"

"…Denial is your forte, isn't it?" Oikawa said, sounding sad for Kuroo.

"You're the only one who doesn't get to tell me _that_ ," Kuroo replied with a hard voice.

The setter startled guiltily, glancing away from the others, and mostly, Ushijima. Bokuto stared straight at Kuroo, looking incredibly serious:

"Denial is your forte!"

"You don't have to repeat it just because you're someone else." Kuroo mumbled, frowning.

Bokuto opened his lips but Iwaizumi spoke up:

"Let him breath, if he doesn't want to date then it's his problem. It's his own life, just respect his choices."

"But… you could be a thousand times happier if you were dating the woman you love…" Bokuto mumbled.

"I don't disagree with that," Iwaizumi said with a smile, "But everyone evolves differently and needs time to come to terms with his feelings and then act upon it."

Oikawa coughed loudly.

" _That_ you know _very well_ , considering how long it took you to act on your feelings for Kiku-chan." He remarked slyly.

Iwaizumi glared at him before deciding to ignore his friend, pointing his water bottle at Kuroo and Bokuto:

"Let Kuroo decide on his own what's best for him, and Akane. And you, at least try to consider the possibility. Stop running away from your feelings and face them head-on! Deciding that it's impossible before even trying is just cowardice."

"Well said, Iwa-chan!"

Before Kuroo could answer, a happy and chirping voice resonated, attracting everyone's attention at the entrance where Kiku was waving at them.

"Kiku!" Hajime exclaimed, going to his girlfriend while she was already surrounded by the senpais.

In the time of a few days, because she couldn't see her boyfriend any other way, she would appear everyday at the end of practice with cookies or cakes baked for the team – that was the main reason why everyone adored her so much, also she was too kind for her own good and it was hard not to get attached to her. While everyone flocked around Kiku and her cookies, Kuroo remained behind, looking down at the floor thoughtfully.

"Maybe I'm just a coward, then…" He mumbled to himself.

Bokuto glanced over his shoulder when he realized that Kuroo wasn't following the group. He glanced at the cookies then went back next to Kuroo, sitting down next to him.

"Are you scared of getting serious with Akane because of what happened with Kohaku years ago?"

"It was only a year or so ago, don't make it sound like it was a lifetime ago and… _yeah_. I don't want to go through the same thing. It's too hard."

Bokuto seemed to ponder these words before crossing his arms over his wide chest:

"I don't really get it, because I'm just so happy with Ayaka, I can't imagine what sort of heartbreak you went through…"

His voice trailed off then he shook his head:

"No, it wasn't heartbreak– it was trust-break."

Kuroo frowned lightly, looking at him as he explained himself:

"You didn't love Kohaku, you were with her and was a little infatuated with her but that was it. You weren't _in_ love, it wasn't _love_ at all. You're just hurt that you trusted her but she didn't – and be honest with me, but except your friends from before Kohaku… like Kenma, Nekoma, me… have you trusted _anyone_ since then? And I'm not talking about dating but _really_ tried to get close to someone, even just as a friend?"

Tetsurou didn't answer, just staring at his feet and hands hanging from where they rested on his knees. After Kohaku, he just focused on high-school, he already knew a lot of people and there was no need to try to get to know anyone, to _trust_ anyone he didn't know yet. Then, the university but… except Akane that he re-discovered in a new light… he didn't get close to anyone. He had only one contact in his phone and it was only for a science project done weeks ago. He vaguely knew the others' names, he talked a little with them to be polite, but… he was closing off from everyone who tried to befriend him. Even on the team, even if he had vaguely befriended Ushijima, Oikawa and Iwaizumi, it was mostly because Bokuto had decided to keep them all together.

He sighed deeply, annoyingly, and Bokuto couldn't help but smile lightly – not because he was _glad_ that his friend felt this way, but because he knew he was right and that Kuroo was slowly realizing it.

"I hate it when you're like that…" Kuroo mumbled, frowning to himself.

Bokuto laughed loudly, patting his back and almost throwing him off the bench and causing his lungs to collapse in his chest. Kuroo glared at him but Bokuto stood up, showing him his hand:

"Come on, let's go get some cookies!"

Kuroo couldn't help but smile, taking his hand as he pulled him up and following Bokuto to the others.

With the end of the training camp came another very expected moment.

"Arhem, so…" Coach Nakagaichi started, "After this week's training camp and the results you have shown since high-school, we decided of the line-up and regulars for the next competitions. I'll start with the category Junior of the under 21 years old – you'll only have one competition this year: the FIVB Volleyball Men's U21 World Championship."

The younger ones swallowed hard – the FIVB Volleyball Men's U21 World Championship was the world championship of volleyball for male players under the age of 21 organized by the _Fédération Internationale de Volleyball_ (FIVB). It only occurred every two years. The category above the Junior was the U23 and then, the Senior team. The ultimate team they all dreamt of going to. If they didn't get any injury, if they kept showing results, it was the dreamt path for any professional volleyball athlete: Youth team U19, Junior team U21, team U23 and finally the seniors.

Among the younger ones who might hope to get on the Junior team, only Ushijima and another guy had gone on the Youth team together. It was almost already decided they'd be on the Junior team. But for all the others… they were feeling all the nerves of their bodies at the ready.

As expected, the new Captain and Vice-Captain and another player, all three had been on the Junior team for the last three years received their jerseys and one by one the players got called. Many players of the Junior team had moved to the U23 category. Some, who hadn't been part of the regulars the previous years hoped they'd be chosen this year. Some prayed they might have a chance to prove their worth even if they were young and mostly unexperienced.

"Ushijima."

He barely reacted, he barely showed any emotion but his eyes shone so brightly that Bokuto couldn't help but smile at his happiness. Oikawa looked away, keeping his lips thin and Iwaizumi lowered his gaze at the ground. Kuroo kept his gaze fixated, trying not to dwell on the names that were being called. All four of them felt the same: bitterness Ushijima was chosen, fear _they_ might not, joy for him that his skills and power were recognized. Well, in Oikawa and Iwaizumi's cases, they felt even more conflicted because of their past with Ushijima.

Ushijima received his jersey, bowing thankfully before joining the rest of the U21 – just seven more players and they probably wouldn't even be part of the regulars, but maybe–

"Oikawa." Nakagaichi called.

Oikawa startled, looking up with wide eyes, not believing his name had just been called. His heart started beating wildly, shock frozen until Iwaizumi, smirking, hit his back, pushing him forward. Tears of joy shone in his eyes but he held them back as he received his jersey with the number fourteen. His new favorite number.

"You might want to go and push Iwaizumi forward the way he just did for you," the coach added with a smirk.

It was Iwaizumi's turn to be shock-frozen, Oikawa turned around to him with a huge grin. Iwaizumi wasn't quite sure how his steps took him to the coach but he received his jersey – fifteen. They walked over to Ushijima and the rest of the U23, stars in their eyes and hearts beating wildly. The childhood friends fist-bumped, proud of their accomplishments, to be part of the National team in the Junior category, to be together, to make their dream come true… Memories of their childhood, training in their backyard for volleyball, the children team, Kitagawa DaiIchi, Aoba Jousai and now… Junior team.

"Bokuto."

He startled but immediately grinned, pride surging within him and sparkling everywhere around. He ran over to the coach, receiving his jersey and blinking at the number, feeling like fate had accomplished some amazing deed–

Nakagaichi coughed a little before adding discreetly:

"A certain _someone_ had a suggestion for your jersey number."

Ah. Not fate, or fate was called Kanemoto Ayaka. Still, Koutarou grinned widely when he raised his jersey with the number seventeen – like his birthday. The first jersey he got to wear on the National team – he was PART of the National team! The Junior team! The U21 team! He ran, almost bouncing and hopping, to the others just as two more guys were called and joined them.

Kuroo looked down, tightening his jaw – he had seen it coming, but it still stung that he'd–

"Kuroo."

He looked up, blinking in disbelief at his coach. Nakagaichi was used to the thunderstruck players who couldn't believe their luck, so he didn't get impatient as the middle-blocker just stood there without moving:

"What are you waiting for, Kuroo?!" Bokuto exclaimed from the sides.

He laughed enthusiastically and it was enough to reassure and comfort Kuroo. He went to take his jersey, admiring the number twenty-two before joining the others. Bokuto immediately wrapped his arms around his shoulders, bringing him a few centimeters down to ruffle his hair, making it even more of a mess.

"O-oi! Bokuto!"

"We did it…" He murmured to him, low enough that he'd be the only one to hear.

He glanced up, both of their golden gazes shining. They straightened up and Bokuto let him go when the last player joined them and Nakagaichi spoke up:

"This is the line-up," he announced, showing a board – without surprise, none of the 'younglings' as they were called by their senpais was there, "But just because you aren't among the line-up doesn't mean you won't participate in the matches. You can be required to come in, if one of your comrade is injured, as pinch-server or for a kick in power…"

He paused, glancing at each and everyone of them. They all had their backs straight, they all kept their chins up, eyes shining and impatient grins on their faces. He had a satisfied nod to see them so determined.

"You are regulars on the National Junior team now, wear these numbers and the Japanese flag with pride." He said with a smile.

"YES!" They shouted in one strong voice.

After the U23 and Senior teams were announced, they all tried on their jerseys to arrange them if the measurements didn't fit – some cried tears of joy but no one really cared because they all felt the same. Of course, they took about a thousand pictures they sent to all their friends and families.

"Ayaka is calling me – I'll be back!" Koutarou exclaimed a few minutes after he had sent the pictures to his girlfriend.

He escaped out of the courts while Hajime and Kiku were talking in a corner – she had tears of joy and pride in her eyes as she kept congratulating him.

"Shiori is congratulating us," Ushijima said after receiving a message from his cousin.

Oikawa glanced at him quickly then smiled, unable to hold back his joy. Ushiwaka might have been his rival, but now… for better or worse they were on the same team and they shared the same pride.

Kuroo glanced at them then glanced down at his phone. Only his friends were sending him congratulations messages. He… kinda wished Akane would say something, but he didn't even have her number. He wished she might see him. Would she be proud of him? Would she feel anything for him? Joy, enthusiasm? Did she even care he was on the National team? There was no way–

"Kuroo-kun!"

He turned towards Kiku, blinking, astonished to see _her_ come to _him_. She lifted up her phone to show him a message and he blinked, reading a single _"Congratulations"._

Then, he noticed the name on the phone screen and his heart missed a beat.

 _Saito Akane_

Akane _knew_ – somehow, Kiku had her number and had told her and Akane had said… she was congratulating him!

But too overjoyed, he didn't have time to come down from his cloud of silly happiness that Kiku glanced down at her phone:

"Aaah… it's too bad Akane-chan had a shift tonight at work, it would have been great if she could have been here! Especially when she helped me out so much…"

Kuroo blinked then he grabbed her shoulders, startling her. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Iwaizumi tensing, going into overprotective, glaring mode but he didn't try to punch him away from his girlfriend.

"Y-yes?" Kiku squeaked.

"You have her number? You have– you _know_ her? You guys are… _friends?!_ Hold on– help out, how? What did she do?" He asked frenetically before realizing he was being pushy and weird.

He let go of the girl who breathed before answering, blinking in disbelief:

"You mean… you don't have her number? And you didn't know? She's been helping me out baking everyday this week. Why do you think there were so many cat-shaped cookies? She couldn't come with me because she had work everyday with long shifts with the Golden Week."

Tetsurou's mouth fell open. He was shocked to learn that Akane had baked – for _him_ (the team but it didn't matter much at the moment). She had baked cat-shaped cookies for _him_. She had congratulated _him_ …

Heart beating too fast for it to be healthy, he turned red and looked away when he noticed Kiku's sparkly and teasing expression. He coughed awkwardly, trying to hide how he felt but he was… moved. In the best way. And as soon as the others were done teasing him (he wasn't listening, for once not even on purpose, but he was lost in the land of dreams and hopes) he let his lips turn into a small, discreet, but oh-so-true smile.

Now that the training camp was over, and after a dinner with just the Junior team together, Kuroo went home, recalling the Captain and coach's words to rest as much as they could after a long week of good work.

Yawning in front of the apartment complex's entrance, he looked for his keys in his bag, searching through all the dirty clothes and books he had taken to study (but hadn't actually opened). Suddenly, the door opened. He looked up, blinking and seeing Akane who had just opened it for him just as he found and pulled out the keys.

"Isn't it a little late to go home?" She said as he kept the door open for her to pass.

"I could tell you the same," he answered, heart beating fast and trying hard not to feel too flustered to see her so unexpectantly.

"I had work, that's a good enough reason. What about you? Shouldn't you be resting after a week of training camp?" She said as they entered the elevator, a proper distance separating them.

He looked at her then couldn't help but smirk:

"Well… we had dinner, and a few drinks, to celebrate being selected for the Junior team."

He observed her expression closely.

The tiniest of smile appeared on her face but she quickly put on her neutral mask on. She looked up and froze when she noticed him staring.

Startling, Tetsurou quickly looked away, not wanting to appear too… obvious about his newly discovered feelings but for some strange reason… He didn't feel _that_ embarrassed or flustered about it – unless he thought very hard about it. It didn't change the way they behaved or felt around each other, the atmosphere surrounding them was as warm and electric as usual. He had always assumed it was sparks of angry electricity but now…

He curiously glanced down at her once again, she quickly looked away, flushing like he did. He looked away as well, cheeks warming up just as the elevator doors opened.

Letting out a breath they hadn't realized they were holding, they exited the elevator, walking slowly towards their doors. Little steps, slowly, as slowly as they could to make this moment last as long as possible.

"C-congratulations, for being selected… it's… impressive." Akane said when they arrived at her door.

He looked down at her then smirked, a little teasingly, leaning down to her. His heart sped up and he almost immediately pulled away, being so close was too tempting but he couldn't get himself to do so.

"Will you come and encourage me to my matches~?" He asked in a low, hot voice.

"I don't think you need my encouragement." She answered, leaning against her doorway but not making any move to escape him.

His warmth and scent invaded her senses – sweat from the practice, alcohol she could almost taste on his lips, and something else… Something that only smelled like Kuroo Tetsurou, something she couldn't explain. Akane almost leaned closer, to him, to his warmth, to this sweet smell, to his lips, but she managed to hold herself back.

"I might need a reward, though…" Tetsurou added, voice a little lower, huskier.

Akane looked up, her reddish eyes looking right into his. She opened her lips but couldn't find any words. She glanced at his lips just as he glanced at hers.

"Didn't you get a reward from me all week long?" She said instead, smiling coyly.

He thought back on the cat-shaped cookies, his smile reappearing on his face, a little softer this time.

"I didn't know you could cook."

"I don't. I don't have anyone to cook for. It was all Kiku-chan's cooking. But… she needed help to bake for so many hungry boys and asked me… I just helped her with the cookies' shaping or little… stuff… like that…" She answered, voice slowly trailing off when his golden eyes seemed to dive into her soul.

Silence fell on them, strangely warm and comfortable as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Thank you…" Tetsurou murmured, his gaze finally going from her eyes to her lips.

She must have come back from her work at the Gem's because she still had smudged make-up. Her lips were still reddish from her lipstick.

It was so stupid. _He_ was so stupid. He had spent the week convincing himself he didn't want anything with Akane and after less than a minute by her side, he was leaning towards her and wishing for a kiss. He didn't want anything with her, _right?_

Eyes still fixated upon her lips, moving just enough to show her breathing, slowly getting a little faster from how close he was, from… desire. Tetsurou's hand lifted up and his fingers brushed her hip. It was a touch so delicate he didn't expect her to feel it – but she did. He could tell just from her slightest intake of breath. Akane looked right into his eyes, eyes burning in challenge.

 _Will you do it?_ She seemed to silently ask as his fingers found a little area of skin at her side, uncovered by her shirt. His fingers traced the soft, warm skin, lifting up just a little more her shirt.

Tetsurou's heart beat faster, heat spreading through his body as he started leaning down towards Akane.

" _You're finally getting over Kohaku!"_

He froze. He trembled, his fingers leaving her skin, then he leaned away, straightening up and stepping away.

Akane looked up at him curiously, not understanding the sudden change in behavior. Her lips fell open as realization seemed to fall upon her.

"Sorry for that…" He mumbled, looking down at the floor.

He didn't dare meet her gaze after touching her, almost kissing her. He didn't see Akane swallowing hard and tensing her body before turning around to open her door.

"Don't bother." She said in a hard voice.

He looked up at her just as she escaped into her flat, not letting him ask or say anything. He was pretty sure he had just hurt her, but he didn't know why or how. Other than the fact that he tried kissing her and had pulled away… did she feel _that_ annoyed for not being kissed? Or was it just a false hope because he had started acting this way? Or was it because of something else? He wasn't sure he understood how he felt himself.

He went into his own flat and fell on top of his bed, burying his head into his pillows. It felt familiar and reassuring, but _he_ still didn't feel quite like himself.

" _Are you going to ask Akane out?"_

No.

It would mean being serious about someone. It would mean taking the risk of getting hurt again.

" _It wasn't heartbreak– it was trust-break."_

… _Fuck you, Bokuto_.

Tetsurou had been certain he was getting over Kohaku's betrayal but apparently, he hadn't at all. He still couldn't trust new people that got into his life. How was he supposed to deal with these feelings now?

* * *

 _I promise the sad is only temporary, the fluff is coming. Also, the promised sexy._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : CHOCOLATE_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	10. Sweet Attention

_New chapter~! I have a few chapters of advance and I wrot ethe first real smut, so I hope you'll enjoy it~ Soon, soon~! ;)_

 _Thnks to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed~!_

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : Kuroo and Akane are going to be like that the entire time "acting like a cat after a bath", taking one step forward and two backwards but always side by side~! I wouldn't say that Ushijima is "intimidating" to write, but I get why you're sayig taht. He's a complicated character, which makes it difficult to perceive him and write him; but this sort of characters is also the most interesting! ;) (but in haikyuu the n°1 interesting/complicated to write is Oikawa! :3)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER X : Sweet Attention

" _This is love… isn't it? When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love their presence?"_

— **Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated**

" _You don't walk away if you love someone. You help the person."_

— **Hillary Clinton**

" _I live my own life and nurse my own wounds. It's not the best way to live. But it's the way I am."_

— **Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex**

" _I found him carefully studying me, his lips in a thin line. "Has anyone ever taken care of you?" he asked quietly._

" _No." I'd long since stopped feeling sorry for myself about it."_

― **Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses**

" _Finding someone you can really connect with is like winning the lottery — It happens basically never, but if it does, you really shouldn't blow it."_

— **Jessica Verdi, What You Left Behind**

" _There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."_

― **Linda Grayson**

" _That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence."_

— **Pulp Fiction, Dir. Quentin Tarantino**

" _Loving is wanting to be with someone even when you don't like them."_

— **Sandra Lidell**

" _My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude."_

— **Warsan Shire**

" _That's the curious thing about love, isn't it? It makes very ordinary things seem special. It makes them seem so much more valuable than they really are."_

— **Alexander McCall Smith, Trains and Lovers**

" _I want to be with you,_

 _it is as simple,_

 _and as complicated as that."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

Tetsurou had expected to see Akane pretty quickly at the university. But when he went to classes, she wasn't here. He initially thought she was late, then he looked around frenetically thinking that maybe, she had sit somewhere else because she was still angry at him. But there was no Saito Akane anywhere to see.

It was a day off from practice, but he still met Bokuto at a café and after about ten minutes of monologue from the owl boy and of Kuroo nervously tapping his foot against the floor, he finally seemed to catch up on the wild state he was in:

"You're okay?" Bokuto asked suddenly.

Kuroo almost didn't hear – he had stopped listening half-way through it.

"What?" He asked, staring back at his friend.

"Are you okay? You're acting… weird…" Bokuto said, raising an eyebrow.

"…I don't know…" Kuroo admitted, shaking lightly his head.

Bokuto had learned about Akane helping out Kiku baking during the training camp. Now that Kuroo knew about his feelings for Akane, things might have been awkward.

"Is it because you saw Akane at class? You didn't do anything creepy?" He asked.

"I wouldn't do anything creepy, who do you think I am?!" Kuroo hissed, even though he _had_ acted creepy when he had seen her again by trying to kiss her and then pulling away, "She wasn't here today… that's why it's weird."

"Maybe she forgot there was class today? _I_ missed my first class this morning anyway." Bokuto said, shrugging it off almost proudly.

"Ayaka is going to kill you if she learns you skip classes and… Akane? _Saito Akane?_ Forgetting about a class? _Missing_ it? Who do you think she is? No, there's something wrong."

"Don't tell Ayaka!" He exclaimed, suddenly frightened, "And… maybe she's just sick?" He proposed with a shrug.

Kuroo couldn't imagine the wild Akane down for just feeling _sick_ but… He remembered that back in middle-school and high-school she was often missing several days of classes in a row. It never stopped her from being annoyingly better than him, though. She didn't seem to be sick, or to have a weak health but… he hadn't expected her to show such fragile and kind sides either like she had recently.

"You should go and check on her, if you're _that_ worried…" Bokuto said smugly, casually sipping his drink.

Kuroo whipped towards him with wide eyes:

"What? NO! I can't do that! _That_ would be creepy!"

"Checking up on your friend who has been missing school? In the best case scenario, you're going to save her from a severe fever and she'll confess her endless love for you in a state of feverish delirium."

"You're the delirious one."

" _Or_ , in the worst case scenario, she won't be home, or you'll just leave her your notes and she'll realize how sweet you can be!" He continued, teasingly.

"How is it the worst case scenario? That's the best scenario, that she wouldn't be here to see me so embarrassed."

"So, you _are_ going to check up on her!" Bokuto concluded cheerfully.

" _No_ , I won't!"

"Whatever you do, don't be creepy," Bokuto continued, putting down the empty glass and standing up, "I have to go, I have my driving lesson soon and then I'll go to Fukurodani."

"Fukurodani? Why?" Kuroo asked – he had gone only once to Nekoma High since he had started university and it had been to check on his former teammates and how was doing the new Captain.

"Reason number one: checking on the team and how Captain Akaashi is doing! Reason number two: seeing Ayaka. We're spending the night together at her place considering I don't have class tomorrow." He explained with the usual soft expression he got whenever he mentioned Ayaka.

"Didn't you spend the week-end with her already?" Kuroo mumbled.

"It wasn't enough! I miss her!" He exclaimed dramatically, "When you'll be dating Akane you'll realize that twenty-four hours a day aren't enough time to spend with your loved one!"

"Not gonna happen…" Kuroo grumbled, narrowing his eyes at Bokuto.

He laughed as answer, as if he knew something Kuroo didn't. He patted his shoulder, waved at him then left.

Kuroo quickly finished his drink, pretended he was busy reading his notes but when he re-read the same sentence for the fifth time, he realized he couldn't focus. Not that he was worried for Akane, just… curious about what had happened to her. A curiosity that was slowly driving him mad. He shook his head, putting everything away and standing up to go home. He didn't have anything better to do anyway, without practice.

He was determined to ignore Bokuto's suggestion of checking on Akane but the moment he arrived near her door, he went to a stop. He stared at the door, lips thin. Two more steps and he was home and he didn't have to think of her. Two more little steps forward…

Growling and sighing, he turned around and knocked at the door. Not hearing any sound, he leaned forward to press his ear against the door. He knocked again and decided to raise his voice:

"Aka– erh, Saito? You're here? It's um, me… Kuroo." He started awkwardly.

"There's no one!"

He stared at the door. There definitely was someone and even if the voice had been smothered, it was Akane's.

"You're okay?" He asked loudly, finding her voice strange.

"Go away!"

"I uh… have today's notes if you need…" He continued, "Can I enter? Really quickly, to give it and then, you won't see me again?"

The fact that she must have heard everything just proved once again how thin these walls were. But this time, there was no answer. No answer meant no _"no don't enter"_ so he considered it was as good as a _"yes please enter"._

He turned the handle down and let his head through, scanning around the room. A few pairs of shoes at the entrance, the kitchen corner, a desk covered in books and a closed laptop, darkened space because of the pulled curtains… And the bed where Akane was curled up. The bed against the wall connecting with his.

"Eeeh… you're okay?" He asked, starting to take out his notes to let them on her desk.

"Fuck off." She said, voice smothered by her pillow.

"You're welcome," he grumbled.

She said something she couldn't understand. He watched from afar, not daring to take another step closer to her when she obviously seemed to be in pain. He hesitated, almost leaving before stepping closer to her bed. She was curled up in her bed, under the covers and pressing her head against her pillow.

"You don't look okay… do you need a doctor?" He asked hesitantly.

Her cheeks were red – from fever maybe? And her hair was a mess, falling all around her head. She turned her head just enough to see him and even with her dry lips and teary eyes, Tetsurou felt his heat squeeze. He didn't find her particularly beautiful, but he couldn't help but feel… compassion. And maybe more than just compassion for another human being in pain. It felt _more_ , probably because he had a crush on said human being and he didn't want to see her in pain.

"A doctor can't help with that… it's natural…" She mumbled, looking away.

"…Are you on your cycle?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, feeling a little awkward for leaning above her with his hands on his knees.

"Like I said… natural… so fuck off…" She said, closing her eyes. Perhaps to hold back her tears, perhaps to not see him any more, perhaps to ignore the pain.

Tetsurou hesitated, glancing around. A glass of water, some pain medication and a tablet of little pills he recognized.

"Your periods are always this painful? Or is it because you started taking the pill recently?" He asked, straightening up.

She turned her head to him once again and despite her frown, he could see that she was confused as to why he was asking such things, and how he seemed to know so much. Tetsurou shrugged lightly.

"My mom was in terrible pain when she started taking the pill." He explained quickly.

"…My periods can be painful at times, but it's been awful since I started taking the pill… It's a new one and I'm not used to it yet…" She mumbled, avoiding looking into his eyes.

"If it gives you such pain, you might need to see your doctor again to change it." He said.

"No joke." She growled, hiding her face in her pillow once again.

Tetsurou noticed a plushy he recognized. A Simba plushy she had gotten a few months ago at a summer festival near Nekoma High-school. He had been there when she had won it and it was one of these cherished memories that should have told him _"hey, you might feel something for her"_ if he hadn't been so stubborn for so long…

It made him smile fondly at the memory and knowing she still had this plushy made him strangely happy because he had the Nala one on his bed.

Akane caught sight of his smile and misinterpreted it:

"If you're going to make fun of me, just go away…"

"No! I wasn't, uuh…"

His voice trailed off and he rubbed the back of his neck:

"Have you even eaten anything? Do you need something? I could–"

"Kuroo… _please_ … just go away…" She murmured, eyes tightly closed, "I… don't want you to see me like that… just go…"

His lips fell open, suddenly feeling awkward. He nodded and turned around, putting on his shoes but before he could leave, he turned around once again:

"If you need anything, just call me. You don't have my number but, uh, just knock at the wall and I'll hear. Or just, tell Kiku and she'll tell Oikawa who will tell me… or something…"

Akane didn't answer and considering that she kept her eyes close and seemed a little less tense, he hoped she had fallen asleep to rest a little. He swallowed hard and closed the door behind him. Tetsurou stared at the floor, knowing he was just… being stupid again. He didn't want anything with her but after seeing her in such pain because of her menstrual cycle…

"I can't believe I'm doing this…" He mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes at his own stupidly tender heart.

Instead of going directly to his place, he turned around, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

Akane had drifted off to sleep at some point during Kuroo's visit, but she was awoken, partly because of the pain pulsing through her middle once again, and partly because she heard some weird noise. She opened her eyes, not feeling good, a little dizzy and not seeing clearly as the door opened. She blinked and saw the familiar silhouette of Kuroo.

"What…" She mumbled, forcing herself to sit up a little, "You're entering my place like you own it now… I'm gonna call the cops…"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," He answered, taking off his shoes before freezing and frowning at her from afar, "Oi, I'm here to help you out, don't accuse me like that!"

Not understanding what he was doing here, partly because it was _Kuroo Tetsurou,_ and partly because she was still feeling too feverish to understand what was going on, she just stared as he opened the curtains, invading the space with light. She covered her face with her hands to escape the blinding light.

"I'm borrowing your kitchen." He just said.

"What…"

She let her hands go away from her face, sitting up, putting her chin on her knees and looking at him as he moved around, a little hesitant because he didn't know the place. He apparently started cooking something, all the while exploring her fridge and cupboards, tongue clicking in annoyance in regular rhythm.

"You don't have anything else to eat? You should eat more vegetables – no wonder you get sick if all you do is warm up all-made stuff. It's bad for the health that shit, y'know."

She smiled lightly, amused by his strange righteousness, his unexpected kindness… He glanced over his shoulder and she quickly erased her smile, hiding her mouth against her knees.

"You're feeling better after sleeping a little?" He asked curiously.

"…Did you… how long… what are you doing here?" She asked instead of answering his question.

Tetsurou made a weird face, she almost laughed as he scrunched up his nose, lips turned into a pout of despair.

"Heck if I know…" He mumbled in a low voice but she heard, "I just took pity on you, I suppose. I hate seeing my mom suffering like that, so… I got used to take care of her when she needs. And _you_ definitely need someone to take care of you…"

His voice trailed off, as if he himself couldn't believe the words escaping his lips. Akane was certain she was hallucinating at this point. There was no way _Kuroo Tetsurou_ would be worried about her, that he would go for groceries and back to her just to… take care of her? When was the last time someone did that for her?

Heart beating warmly, Akane stared at Tetsurou from afar as he seemed to struggle with his pride and self-consciousness.

"Anyway! You need to quickly be back in class, in front of me, I have no one to tease and it gets boring." He continued, finding the best excuse he could at the moment.

Akane lowered her head just enough to hide her growing smile. He turned around and didn't seem to notice it as he walked to her. She lifted up her head curiously, his hand quickly going against her forehead. He didn't say a thing as he felt her fever and he disappeared in her bathroom. She blushed but didn't say anything as he came back with a wet towel. She didn't move, unsure of what she should do as he sat on the edge of her bed, as far away from her as possible, barely steady on the very edge of the bed. He gently patted her forehead and face until she felt a little better. She opened her eyes to meet his and they stared at each other for a moment. The patting of the wet towel against her forehead became slower, almost like a caress, his fingers brushing her skin…

The sudden ringing of his phone startled them both, especially Akane. Tetsurou put down the towel on a side then went back to the kitchen part, preparing something in a bowl for her.

"What is it?" She asked with furrowed brows when he came back with the warm food.

"Soup, it's good for your uterus." He said, grabbing a chair and sitting next to her.

"How do you know what is good for my uterus?" She mumbled, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Just eat the goddamn soup." He answered with the same tone.

He tried to feed her but she pulled away and grabbed the bowl.

"I can eat myself, thank you very much." She mumbled, settling herself against her pillows to be more comfortable, "But I'm not hungry, you know."

"You still need to eat." He answered, staring at her until she'd start eating some of the soup.

It was a struggle, but it did make her feel a little better. Not like she had any choice with him waiting that she ate everything.

"If you're a good girl and eat all your soup and take all your medicine, you'll have a treat," he said for encouragement, lips trembling in amusement.

She couldn't help but smile a little as well.

"Now that's more interesting. What sort of treat?"

"Depends on what you wish for." He answered in a surprisingly gentle voice.

She stared at him for a moment before quickly finishing her bowl of soup. She tried to put it on her night table but he took it from her hands before she could put it down and was already standing up to clean it.

"…What if I wish… for the exact same thing you asked me… as reward for you joining the Junior team?" She asked hesitantly, heart speeding up in her chest.

She could only see his back and his arms moving around. She thought he tensed a little before acting casual, gestures slow and reassuring…

"You just have to ask."

"You're saying something pretty dangerous." She continued, still smiling.

He turned his head to look at her from over his shoulder, an amused smile on his lips:

"You're a pretty dangerous girl."

He finished cleaning then walked back to her with a glass of water and some medicine in the palm of his hand. She gave him a long look but he stared back:

"Be a good girl, and you'll have your treat."

"I'm not a good girl," she answered, cheeks red.

He flushed but she still took the medicine from his hand and the glass of water. As she took it all, he glanced down at his hand, now empty. He had never realized how tiny her hand was next to his. He blinked, forcing himself to move and grab the groceries bag.

"Good girl," he said, patting her head until she growled and tried to pat his hand away which made him laugh, "Now… I hope you like chocolate."

"Chocolate? You bought me chocolate?" She asked, turning towards him with stars in her eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes." He chuckled, pulling out a tablet of chocolate and handing it to her.

Her smile immediately dropped when she saw it, then she looked back up at him, intensely, accusing.

"What's this?"

"Chocolate. 80% pure cocoa. You're losing blood, you need some iron. The other kinds of chocolate full of sugar and bad stuff won't do you any good."

"Are you aware that I'm craving the most sugar-filled chocolate to exist at this moment and that _this_ tastes terrible?" She asked, shaking the disappointing chocolate.

"Think of your iron." He said, eyes twinkling.

He remembered a day in high-school after Valentine's Day – he had observed from the corner of his eyes Akane eating some chocolate before pulling a face at the sour taste of pure chocolate and putting it away. He had known since then she disliked it. And well, between her need of iron _and_ this knowledge, he couldn't let go of the possibility of annoying her – even if it might be a bad idea when she was overwhelmed by hormones and was glaring at him for buying her the wrong chocolate.

"I feel betrayed. By you _and_ chocolate."

"Now, now, be a nice girl, eat your iron in the good chocolate and then… you _might_ get some of the other chocolate I bought."

Her eyes lit up again as he took out more chocolate from the bag. Her hands reached for it but he pulled away, keeping it out of her reach with his long arms. She clicked her tongue in annoyance and he laughed softly. She went up on her knees, giving herself more height for attacking him. He pulled away, almost falling off the chair but just as she was about to reach and grab the chocolate, pain shot through her body and she curled up with a cry, almost falling over if he hadn't caught her around the waist.

"See? Stop fighting and rest," he said, turning her over to help her lay down, covering her body with the covers even if she glared at him.

It took some more convincing but she did eat some of the good chocolate, her face pulled in an expression of disgust at the sour taste. Once she had eaten enough, he gave her a little bit of the chocolate she was really craving, this time a little smile on her face. He made some tea he forced her to drink. He checked her temperature with the back of his hand as she was drifting off to sleep once again. He sighed in relief when he realized her fever was gone…

"Why are you doing this for me…?" Akane asked in a low voice, looking up at him.

"Aren't you glad I did this, though?" He asked instead of answering, looking down at her with a little smile.

She stared at him, trying to figure out why he had been so nice, so suddenly… but she really wasn't surprised. The surprise had been that he'd check on her but she knew very well that he was kinder than his appearance led to believe – he wouldn't let anyone suffer if he could help in some ways… And after everything he had done, she felt very good. Almost no pain, her body warm and rested…

"I am…" She said, voice a little tight from emotions – it was the first time in years someone watched over her and took care of her when she was feeling bad, "Thank you, Kuroo…"

The honesty in her voice, which made it sound more fragile and prettier than usual, sent waves of warmth through Tetsurou's body. The smile she gave him, her sparkling eyes, made his heart speed up and he was almost out of breath. He couldn't help but smile back and there was a moment of true tenderness and warmth they both felt just for being together. They didn't dislike it, if anything, they felt a craving for _more_ of this feeling…

But Akane couldn't hold back sleep and she eventually turned on her side, smiling as she fell asleep. Tetsurou observed her for a little while longer, a comfortable silence surrounding them, interrupted only by her steady breathing. He approached his hand to her face, fingers trembling. He wanted to push away some of her hair to look at her face more closely but in the end, he couldn't do it, too afraid it'd wake her up and he'd have to explain himself. Explaining why he had tenderly pushed away some of her hair, why he had come to check on her, why he had been so worried, why he had done so much…

Reassured to know she was feeling better and was resting, he grabbed his stuff and left the apartment to go back to his, just next door. He let himself drop on top of his bed, head into his pillows. He glanced up, at the Nala plushy right next to him. Then he turned his head to stare at the wall, knowing that Akane was at the other side. His hand rested against the cool wall, wishing for a little more time watching over her, feeling a little more of this comfortable warmth together…

" _You'll realize that twenty-four hours a day aren't enough time to spend with your loved one!"_ Bokuto had said earlier.

Tetsurou pondered this for a moment, deep down wishing for more time with Akane, but not admitting it to himself…

He thought back on Akane's lovely smile and sparkling eyes and his heart sped up, body warming up. Feeling himself blush and overwhelmed by a weird tickling sensation throughout his entire body, he shook his head against his pillow, legs hitting the mattress from how flustered he was.

 _Guh, I have it bad. It's terrible_. He realized, hiding his face against his pillow at the realization.

But in the end, he was smiling.

BONUS

 _[When Kuroo went to the groceries store for everything he'd need for Akane…]_

Flushed in embarrassment, he desperately tried to ignore the women passing by him and glancing at him suspiciously. It was one thing spending an awful long time trying to figure out what chocolate was her favorite, it was another trying to figure out what she used for her periods. Did she use pads? Did she use tampons? Did she even _need_ some? Wouldn't it be creepy if he showed up and offered her a box of pads?

More suspicious glances from the women around him. Blushing he grabbed the first one he could reach and hurried away.

It wasn't the first time he was buying pads considering his mom always asked him to buy some for her… but it was the first time it was embarrassing him. Probably because it was for Akane. And that he knew _very well_ what the people staring at him in the women's hygienic hall were thinking.

He tried to hide the box of pads under the chocolate and soup and everything, even though he knew it was useless and nervously waited for the cashier to pass everything. The girl blinked at the box of pads and glanced quickly at him before passing it. As he was filling the plastic bag, she smiled.

"It's so nice of you to take such good care of your girlfriend." She remarked.

"No, she's– it's not, um…"

Damn it, here he was blushing like a middle-schooler – it was exactly what he knew people had been thinking, he had just hoped no one would voice it out.

The girl stared at him weirdly because of his stammering, which made him blush even more.

"U-um y-yeah… my… g-girlfriend…" He mumbled, closing his eyes.

"What a lucky girl," she said, glancing at the sweet attentions _and_ his appearance.

He held back from rolling his eyes, quickly paying and running off, still nervous and blushing. Akane really was driving him _crazy_.

* * *

 _Not much happen in this chapter but slowly, something is building between them~!_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : COUP DE FOUDRE_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	11. Coup de Foudre

_The new chapter is heere~! I can't believe I'm already at more than 10 chapters with more than 50 favorites and follows and almost 50 reviews! Thank you all! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! ;)_

 _ **jungkookies** : AHah! I imagine you hurryign through the chapter and getting to the end and being very confused like "where's the smut? She said- wtf? False advertising." The action arrives eeerh... next chapter I believe? ;D_

 _ **Bookl0ver1998** : I'm so glad you love it, hope you'll like this chapter as well! ;)_

 _ **PandaHee** : Oh yes, they will be a hot match. I'm so happy you like all my fanfics with te haikyuu boys! :D_

 _ **Lovelybaka** : Ta review m'a rendue si heureuse, si tu savais~! :D J'adore quand les gens lisent toutes mes fanfics de haikyuu parce qu'elles sont connectées et se suivent~! ET toutes ces émotions sont signes que je fais un bon boulot! ;D Merci beaucoup, j'ai hate de savoir ce que tu penseras des chapitres qui arrivent! :D_

 _ **Savage Kill** : It's here, it's here~!_

 _ **LuxKlara** : AkaKuro è adorabile, a modo loro~! Sono molti differenti del fluff di Q.V., ma ci sono momenti quando AkaKuro sono semplicemente carini~! Questo capitolo è ancora carino, ma il prossimo è un po più intenso. Dopo, l'intensità e il fluff erano mescolati~!_

 ** _THIS CHAPTER'S PLAYLIST SONG: "LIGHTNING" from Little Mix, and "SUMMER RAIN" from Sia_**

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XI : Coup de Foudre

" _My heart has an indescribably strong desire to meet yours."_

— **R. Jacob**

" _Trusting is hard. Knowing who to trust, even harder."_

— **Maria V. Snyder, Poison Study**

" _I don't ask you to love me always like this, but I ask you to remember. Somewhere inside me there'll always be the person I am to-night."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is the Night**

" _I find that most people worth knowing are [screwed] up in some way or another."_

— **Jonathan Tropper**

" _I do want someone, need someone. You were right. And when I'm with you, I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier, less alone. Less lonely. But it's not as simple as that, is it? Being with someone."_

— **Naomi Campbell, Skins**

" _She is a beautiful, hard piece of work. She is damned beautiful, actually."_

— **Ernest Hemingway, Across The River And Into The Trees**

" _I'm much softer than people think. I don't present to the world an emotional face. I'm pretty good at self-control, but I am easily moved."_

— **Christopher Lee**

" _You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope… I have loved none but you."_

— **Jane Austen, Persuasion**

" _I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."_

— **Elizabeth Barrett Browning**

" _Why do you like thunderstorms?"_

" _Because it shows that even nature needs to scream sometimes."_

— **E.D.**

" _It is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over."_

— **Beau Taplin**

" _Whoever it is you fall in love with for the first time, not just love but be in love with, is the one who will always make you angry, the one you can't be logical about."_

— **Jeanette Winterson, The Passion**

" _One day I hope to be soft again, like the grey sky right before the sun rises. Maybe the touch of your hand, so delicately, can loosen my grip and remind me that it is possible_

— **D.R.**

" _Maybe we met each other a little too soon, to have a love that was supposed to last forever."_

— **Unknown**

" _There's a beautiful thing that happens inside you when you care about someone."_

— **Unknown**

" _I love you but I don't know what to do."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _I've tricked my heart into forgetting how to love while being completely aware of it."_

— **Ronke Owa**

" _Colpo di fulmine._ _The thunderbolt, as Italians call it. When love strikes someone like lightning, so powerful and intense it can't be denied. It's beautiful and messy, cracking a chest open and spilling their soul out for the world to see. It turns a person inside out, and there's no going back from it. Once the thunderbolt hits, your life is irrevocably changed."_

― **J.M. Darhower, Sempre**

" _I'm awfully difficult. But I do know when I love someone and I've loved you ever since I can remember."_

— **Ernest Hemingway, The Complete Short Stories**

There was a change. Something felt different. Both Tetsurou and Akane could see it, _feel_ it. The air was still charging in electricity whenever they were in the same room, their bodies still felt on fire when their eyes met, but there was _something else_ between them. Another layer of _something_ they couldn't quite explain or understand – it felt soft and peaceful. They weren't sure which sensation they craved most: this new soothing feeling or the usual lustful electricity.

It started after he had taken care of Akane during her period. He had checked on her just once more the following morning; and the day after, when he came out of his apartment to go to classes, she was closing her door as well. He asked her if she felt better, she said yes and thanked him then they walked together to the classes. They walked slower than usual, in complete silence, not quite sure if it was awkward or nice. Then they went their separate ways in different classes. Tetsurou, finally allowing himself to flush, had glanced over his shoulder and had found Akane doing the same. They immediately looked away.

Their lives were the same as usual, except for Akane plaguing his mind; or Tetsurou invading hers. They were still teasing, but it was more good-hearted than out of annoyance. Instead of tickling her neck in classes to make her jump in her seat, the tickling would be more playful and instead of trying to rip off his hand, she'd just swap it away. Their fingers would always brush a little then pull away and they'd crave for more touch on their warm skins.

Tetsurou would always watch her leave first. Sometimes she'd disappear from view, sometimes her _boyfriend_ would come to get her, surrounding an arm around her shoulders possessively. Tetsurou had harassed Kiku (the only one in regular touch with Akane) to find out the truth about this guy and according to Akane, they weren't dating. The guy didn't seem to realize that notion though, considering how touchy-feely he was with her. He hated that Akane needed to have a 'sex-friend' as ridiculous as this guy, but so far, with all the information Tetsurou had gathered, it was all they were.

"Who does he think he is, seriously…?" Tetsurou grumbled, angrily chewing his food.

Bokuto and Ushijima both looked up at him curiously, then followed his gaze and finally noticed Akane and her not-boyfriend at another table of the university cafeteria. They were done with their lunch and cooling off. Or warming-up, depending on the point of view. Akane was mostly immobile and ignoring the attention from her sex-friend, but the guy was hungrily kissing her neck, one arm around her shoulder and the other hand running up and down her leg.

"Jealous?" Bokuto finally said, smirking.

"They should be more respectful of the environment they are in. The cafeteria isn't a place for such activities," Ushiwaka grumbled, uncomfortable.

"No kidding…" Tetsurou mumbled, still glaring.

Then he felt disgusted and looked down, quickly finishing his rice and fish before grabbing the cereal bars he so desperately needed to feel fed. But in the same time, he wasn't hungry when the girl he had realized he liked was being touched by her not-boyfriend in public. He glanced back at the scene, noticing Akane's far-away gaze and the way she tried to distract herself from his touch.

"She doesn't seem to like it though." He remarked, the two other men glancing back at the scene.

"Who would like to do such a thing in public…" Ushijima sighed.

"I know one who would." Kuroo said, the corners of his lips tilting lightly but the amusement not quite reaching his eyes.

The apple Ushijima was bringing to his mouth stopped mid-way as he seemed confused and thoughtful, then looked back at the middle-blocker.

"I can't tell if you're referring to yourself, or Bokuto."

"Ahah– _hey!_ " The wing-spiker exclaimed.

"I didn't mean it in an insulting way."

"I know you didn't but _come on!_ I wouldn't do anything to Ayaka in public-public! Semi-public is a bit of a turn-on though…"

"I didn't need to know that."

"Do you think I should intervene?" Kuroo asked, completely ignoring their conversation, as focused as he was at staring at the scene at the other side of the cafeteria.

The two spikers seemed to remember how this conversation had started and looked back at Akane who was now whispering in embarrassment to the guy.

"You're dying to intervene and be her knight in shining armour, just go then." Bokuto said, shrugging.

"If she does that thing with her mouth again that shows she's uncomfortable, I'm gonna go there and separate them…" Kuroo mumbled, narrowing his eyes.

"You're like a cat, threatening from afar without having the balls to actually make things move." Bokuto noticed, snorting.

"Shut up, bird-brain. Ah!"

Akane looked up and met Tetsurou's eyes. The middle-blocker immediately flushed and looked away, almost hiding his face in his arms because of Bokuto's amused chuckle. Tetsurou couldn't help but look up again, Akane was still staring at him from afar.

Before their hearts could even speed up, the guy moved away and noticed Akane looking away. He looked between her and Kuroo then kept his lips thin. He grabbed Akane's face and forced her to look back at him. He said something to her then stood up, grabbing her arm and forcing her to follow. She didn't look back at Tetsurou who felt angry and miserable.

"Damn it… I hate seeing her with this guy… How did you even manage to not rip out Ushiwaka's eyes when he was dating Ayaka?" He mumbled, hiding his face in his arms, fallen over the table.

"We weren't dating, per say." Ushiwaka mumbled, frowning lightly at the memory.

"Oh, it was tempting!" Bokuto answered.

"I'm _right here_."

"But the situation was different – I'm sure that if you were telling Akane that you like her, she'll dump that guy! Especially if they're just sex-friends! Between a super intelligent guy like you who is head-over-heels for her–"

"I'm not head-over-heels for her."

"–And a guy who only looks at her boobs and butt, there's no hesitation to have! And sure, _you're not_."

"I thought you had realized your feelings for her?" Ushijima questioned.

" _Geh_ … _yeah_ but it's still confused… The only part I fully understand is that I want to be as close to her as that guy."

"Don't fall as low as him," Ushiwaka warned.

"Just kiss her and you'll figure out how you feel! If time seems to stop and it's full of warmth and peace, then it means you're in love with her! True love even!" Bokuto exclaimed enthusiastically.

Kuroo made a face. No matter how much he wanted to kiss her, he didn't want to experience anything that might mean that he was fucked. No matter how much he wanted to feel her body pressed against his in so many different ways, he didn't want to admit he might be in love with her. He wasn't ready to come to terms with his feelings. Not yet…

"…Thanks for the advice, I suppose. I have to move, class starts in fifteen minutes for me…" Kuroo mumbled, standing up.

"I don't have class this afternoon, I'll go at the training centre to do some muscles-building training. Will you join me? Oikawa will be there too." Ushijima proposed.

"I would have, but I have my driving lesson soon, and then Kuroo and I will go to the mall for some stuff. It's still okay to make it happen today, by the way?" Bokuto answered, looking up at Kuroo.

"Still okay for me, unless you're freaking out, birdy~!" He mocked.

"Don't call me that! Of course I'm not freaking out!"

"Then I'll see you at practice tonight," Ushijima said, saluting with a nod Kuroo who waved him goodbye.

He went to classes, going to his usual place and pulled out his notebooks to review the last class. It was almost the beginning of class when Akane arrived and ran at her place, the teacher practically on her heels. She was out of breath and flushed so she must have been running but Tetsurou noticed two things that had nothing to do with her hurry: her neck was covered in bruising hickeys, and her eyes were red from crying.

He swallowed hard, not knowing what to think of it. He could feel the disturbed, panicked atmosphere around her. Almost cursing himself for doing so in the middle of class, he pulled off a paper from his notebook and wrote a quick message on it. He tapped her shoulder, startling her and passed her the message. Akane took it and read it, before quickly looking at him, as if surprised by his concern.

 _Are you okay?_ He had asked.

She took a pen, about to answer. Her hand trembled when she wrote down her message, a big lie, written all over her face when she gave the message back to him.

 _I'm fine._

He could tell she wasn't fine. He hesitated before writing another message he gave her. She tried to ignore him but when he insisted, tickling her neck with the message, she sighed annoyingly and grabbed the message, reading it quickly. She blushed, apparently panicking and covering her neck with her hand.

 _You might want to cover your neck, it's covered in hickeys_ , he had written.

She swallowed hard and looked down at her jacket and bag, but she didn't have anything to cover it up with. Tetsurou barely held back a sigh then grabbed his own scarf. It was a man scarf, but it was black and probably would pass on a girl. He handed it over her shoulder, slowly, and she turned around, surprised by his gesture.

Not quite knowing what to do, she took the scarf in her hands, still staring at him in disbelief, her lips opening and closing. Then he saw the relief and thankfulness in her eyes. He looked down, going back to writing what the teacher was telling. She couldn't speak in the middle of the class, but her lips formed the words _"thank you"._ He was tempted to lean over and kiss her cherry-red lips, but he just nodded, flushing a little. She covered her neck and went back to focus as best as she could about the class.

 _The same day, at practice…_

After training to gain some more muscles, Oikawa and Ushijima, arrived among the first ones. They didn't change clothes but only put on their volleyball training gear: changing shoes and putting on their knee-pads.

"If you're up to it, we could practice our set-ups before the others arrive," Oikawa suddenly proposed.

Ushijima glanced at a surprisingly cooperative Oikawa – he had almost not complained when he realized the muscles training would be just the two of them. It was slow, but Oikawa was opening up to the idea of Ushiwaka being his teammate and partner.

Ushijima was so surprised that he only stared at the setter, instead of answering – which annoyed the young man.

"Don't look at me like _that_ , I _know_ how to put aside my dislike of you for the sake of the training and our coordination still isn't good enough!" Oikawa mumbled.

Ushijima opened his lips, about to answer to go practice but suddenly, Bokuto and Kuroo arrived, talking loudly. At first, it almost sounded like they were arguing.

"I can't believe you dragged me _there!_ It was so _embarrassing!"_ Bokuto whined, frowning and pouting.

" _Excuse me!_ It's less expensive and just as good as any other place!"

"But everything was pink and purple!"

"You have a _pink_ shirt in your drawers!"

"It's _coral!_ And it was to match with Ayaka's dress back in America– and it has _nothing_ to do with how embarrassing it was to get there! All the little girls were staring at us and their mothers were dragging them away, thinking we were perverts!"

Oikawa, Ushijima and the few others of their teammates glanced at each other, vaguely worried about what they had done and where they had gone.

"Like I said, less expensive and just as good!" Kuroo exclaimed, letting down his bag on a bench before narrowing his eyes at Bokuto, "And don't you _dare_ talk about embarrassing – you _cried_ and _held my hand!"_

Bokuto startled, gasping in shock, feeling betrayed. Then he blushed, looking away.

"What happened?" Ushijima asked, raising an eyebrow.

The two friends looked back at him, a little sheepish and surprised when Oikawa gasped, noticing something shining.

"Did you– did you get yourselves piercings?!" He exclaimed, half-shocked and half-impressed.

Bokuto grinned, bombing his chest proudly. He turned his head so that the new diamond earring on his left lobe could shine. Kuroo showed both of his ears, with black earrings. For both young men, it was discreet enough but it had a very nice effect on them.

"It fits you surprisingly well," Ushijima said, "It looks painful, though. Won't it bother you at practice?" He asked, everyone surrounding the two men.

"It _was_ painful…!" Bokuto whined, remembering the quick, sharp pain that had shot through his ear.

"I don't see how we could get our piercings grabbed on during practice, it's not pendants so it should be fine." Kuroo answered.

"The Captain has similar piercings, so I don't see how it'd a problem," one of their teammates said, before turning a teasing smirk towards Bokuto, "So~ Bokuto, you cried~?"

" _Geh!"_

"Like a baby~!" Kuroo added.

"KUROO!"

He laughed and Bokuto, as embarrassed as he was to get teased, was almost glad to see him feeling obviously better. Kuroo had told him what had happened with Akane during their class and it had obviously bumped him out. Until they got their piercings, now Kuroo was very excited and happily distracted for the moment.

The distraction didn't last much, though. Just a few hours later, while he was getting ready to get to bed but was half-worried his new piercings would get tangled with the pillows, he suddenly heard a vivid knocking at the door. He startled, not having expected anyone visiting him when it was past 1am and there was a stormy rain outside. More knocking, more impatient. He hurried at the door and opened it, freezing there in shock.

"A-Akane…?!" He exclaimed, not believing what he was seeing.

She looked up, she was completely soaked, holding her jacket bundled up. She was breathless and flushed, she looked completely panicked and was shaking – was it the cold or something else?

Tetsurou's heart immediately sped up, worried and panicked for her.

"K-Kuroo!" She exclaimed, looking relieved to see him awake, then she swallowed hard, "I-I'm sorry…! Coming suddenly, in the middle for the night b-but… I-I didn't know where else to go… _who_ to go to…!"

She pulled away her jacket and Tetsurou's lips fell open. A little grey something was moving weakly.

"Is it… a kitten?" He asked.

She didn't answer, the little kitten moving enough that he could distinguish his tiny ears. His eyes were still half-closed, he must have been only two weeks old at best.

" _P-please_ … I-I don't know what to do…!" She continued, pleading, "Y-you're good with animals, you know cats well, right?"

Thunder rumbled above their heads and a violent gust of wind made her shake while the rain doubled. Tetsurou still wasn't sure what was happening but he opened the door, letting her in. He quickly took the kitten and put him on his bed, observing him. The poor little thing was cold and wet, despite Akane's protection from the storm.

"What happened? Where did you find him?" Tetsurou asked, trying to know what to do.

He _was_ good with animals and cats, but Hime-chan had been a grown kitten if not an adult when he had found her. This one was practically a new-born, probably sick, without his mother and he didn't know what to do.

"I-I was going out of work and hurrying to get away from the rain but… I tripped on a box. I found… an entire box of kittens…"

Tetsurou looked up and realized she had tears in her eyes, her entire body shaking – but not from the rain.

"H-he was the only one still moving… I-I don't know what to do, my phone has no more battery and I couldn't find a veterinary around a-and…"

"Calm down, we're going to find a way, okay?" Tetsurou said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Her skin was ice-cold, but he didn't let go, squeezing for reassurance. She looked up at him, comforted by his words and the hot hand on her bare shoulder. Instinctively, her hand reached up, resting on top of his and they stared at each other for a short moment… until a tiny meow brought them back on earth. Tetsurou let go and she was left breathless.

"I'm going to try to warm him up, and we'll find a veterinary, use my phone, it's on the table." He said.

He put a towel around the kitten that was meowing, probably calling for his mother. Once Akane found a night-shift veterinary, they called and followed the doctor's instructions. The veterinary was close-by and they hurried there, keeping the kitten warmly against their bodies to be protected from the cold rain. The veterinary gave them instructions and everything they'd need for the moment and they went back. The kitten was already feeling better, both Tetsurou and Akane alternating between feeding him and keeping him warm.

He glanced at her and saw the hickeys all over her neck once again, cruelly reminded of what he had seen at lunch, and the state she had been in when she had entered the class.

"…What happened today?" He asked, trying not to let his curiosity and annoyance slip into his voice.

She hesitated, shaking lightly her head and avoiding looking his way.

"It's… nothing. Takehiko and I… argued. That's all."

"Takehiko? Your sex friend?"

She looked up at him and he flushed, realizing he wasn't supposed to know that. Then, she sighed.

"Yes… though, we're not that anymore."

For a short moment, Tetsurou panicked, thinking they might be a real couple now but Akane shrugged.

"I ended things with him after our last… y'know." She said, showing her neck, trying to ignore the young man's burning gaze, "That's why he wasn't very happy."

"Because… you broke up? I mean, ended things? Did you do that because of what he did at lunch in the cafeteria?"

She stared at him once again, brows furrowed, and he realized that he started to sound like a creep that was stalking her.

"…Bokuto just pointed it out," he lied, flushing.

"… _Uh-uh_. As for Takehiko… there's that, and many other things. It was getting boring."

"He doesn't know how to please you? Well, good thing you left him behind," he mocked, grinning – _he_ knew how to please women.

"Oh, he _does_ know how to please me, at least he does the job better than the rest of them. But… things have changed…" She whispered, glancing very quickly at him before lowering her gaze.

Tetsurou was left breathless, wondering if it was supposed to mean something _special_. For him?

Absentmindedly, they both tried to caress the kitten but their fingers brushed and they pulled away.

Tetsurou stared at Akane, she was ice-cold. She still hadn't changed her clothes from the first soaking she had received. Her hair was a wet mess and her sleeveless shirt was clinging to her skin. He could see her bra through it and all her curves that became awfully distracting… He was painfully aware of her chest rising up and down with every breath, her lips opening and closing, half-dry and still a little red from her make-up. A drop of rain fell from her hair and slid down her neck and against the curve of her breast.

He felt too hot all of a sudden, like a sudden fever caused by being out in the rain – but he knew it wasn't a fever and the rain wasn't the cause.

"Y-you should… take a bath and change clothes before you catch death…" He suggested, carefully avoiding looking into her eyes.

 _Right, good idea, suggest for her to get naked when you're standing here, you idiot! Not distracting at all!_ He thought to himself.

"R-right… g-good idea…" She nodded, standing up.

She hesitated, glancing at the kitten but he smiled.

"I'll watch over the little one." He said.

She smiled back and went into the bathroom. The walls were thin enough that he could hear her clothes falling damply on the floor, then the shower running and her body going into a bath.

Trying not to let his line of thoughts go in uncharted territories, Tetsurou distracted himself by watching all around her room. It was simple, similar to his, but there was no decoration. He wasn't sure what he had expected from Akane's living space but… it was exactly that. Some dishes were waiting to be washed, some clothes hung around scattered messily. Make-up and accessories seemed to have invaded every corner of the room. Piles of science and chemistry books everywhere it could stand as long as it didn't fall…

His gaze was attracted to a corner of the room and he decided to leave the kitten just for a few seconds to have a better look. He approached and his heart skipped a beat. A _butsudan_. A little shrine to a deceased person. A very simple one at that. A small wooden cabinet with some incense burners and three never lit, little candles. There was a picture in the cabinet of a young woman, with black hair and brown eyes. She looked familiar and it wasn't difficult to understand that it… probably was Akane's mother.

He had always wondered about her family, but she never spoke about it, even if she were asked questions. That… was probably why.

Heart heavy, lost in thoughts, he went back to the kitten's side and waited for Akane's return. She stayed in the bath for a little while, but quickly came out, wearing dry clothes and drying her hair with a towel.

"How is he?" She asked, looking relaxed when she sat next to the kitten, opposite to Kuroo.

"Fine, he doesn't stop moving around. He's in better shape than us at this point," he said with a chuckle.

"I-I'm sorry I bothered you in the middle of the night… y-you should go back and sleep, I can handle it from here now…" She said, caressing the kitten's head carefully.

Tetsurou observed her closely, her damp hair and what must have been her pyjamas, just a sleeveless shirt and a baggy pants. Thunder resonated and lightning lit the room and he realized that he loved seeing her like that. So simple. Just some clothes on, Akane relaxed, her hair a little messy… She looked up just the flash of the lightning made her reddish eyes look like hot metal. For some reason, it pulled at his heart, like some memory or bound he had almost forgotten. But he was too distracted to actually think of it deeply and fully remember. His heart seemed to stop and speed up in the same time and he didn't want to move, no matter how exhausted he was.

"…I thought you didn't like cats? Or animals in general?" He asked, remembering the few times he had seen her interact with cats in Nekoma – it hadn't looked good.

"I-I don't dislike cats but… _they_ dislike me… I don't know why, they always attack me for no reason." She answered, flushing and pouting.

He chuckled – so that was why she was avoiding cats. To not get attacked. For some reason, it didn't bother him at all. He liked that she couldn't handle animals and was at a loss when it came to cats.

"Animals, and cats especially, always hated me…" She mumbled, looking down.

She suddenly seemed sad and lonely. Not just a _"I never had a pet as a child"_ type of lonely but just… plain lonely. No one to be here for her, to look after her, not even an animal. Tetsurou glanced quickly at the altar to her mother, and wondered for how long Akane had had to look at a cold picture.

A little meow attracted their attention and they looked down, the kitten going against Akane's thigh and resting there. She seemed surprised and hesitated before caressing him gently. Tetsurou couldn't help but smile a little:

"Not this one. This one doesn't hate you."

She looked up at him, smiling. It wasn't a smirk or a teasing smile, it wasn't confident or bright, it barely reached her eyes but it felt like a truer, more beautiful smile than he ever saw on her face.

They fell into a comfortable silence and time slipped away as the storm quieted down, but it kept on raining.

When Tetsurou woke up the following morning, he felt groggy, uncomfortable and tired, woken up by the daylight, even if the sky was still covered in dark clouds and a light, cold rain was still falling. He closed his eyes again, getting closer to the source of warmth nearby. He breathed in the scent of apple and cinnamon, mixed in with scents of kitten and dampness. He smiled while a hand squeezed his and a soft, moaning breath escaped Akane.

Tetsurou froze, opening wide eyes. He looked straight in front of him, Akane sleeping on her bed while he was sitting down against it. He realized that the source of warmth was Akane's body laying close to his, even if they weren't touching. Except for their hands. They were holding hands in their sleep and just between the two of them, curled up, was the little kitten, sleeping peacefully.

He opened his lips, about to scream but he realized she was still sleeping. He didn't even remember falling asleep, even less next to her. His heart was thundering and he swallowed hard.

Slowly, he bit on his lower lip and pulled away, as slowly and silently as possible. Regretfully, he pulled away his hand from hers and tried standing up. He wanted to observe her sleeping face but he didn't trust himself if he remained one more second so close to Akane. Realizing she hadn't woken up, he sighed in relief and turned around. And stumbled over her bag. He screamed ridiculously loud as he fell forward. Akane woke up, startled, and startling the kitten that started meowing annoyingly.

"T-tetsu… K-Kuroo!" She exclaimed, watching him stand up.

"Sorry! So, sorry! I didn't mean to wake you!" He exclaimed, blushing in embarrassment.

Then he froze again and stared at her, slowly blushing. She had… almost called his first name. She blinked in confusion, not understanding why he was staring at her. Then she understood and gasped, blushing and covering her mouth. He blushed even more and straightened up.

"Sorry to have woken you! Good night! I mean! Good day!" He exclaimed so quickly he almost bit his tongue as he rushed to the door.

She opened her lips to call him but he was already closing the door. Tetsurou kept walking forward instead of turning to go back to his place. His hands grabbed the railing and he leaned forward, the cold metal pressing against his lower stomach. Eyes wide and barely breathing, he remained there, not caring if the rain fell on his hair and shirt. Waking up next to Akane had been embarrassing enough, definitely not good for his heart-rate, but waking her so embarrassingly and then the way she had _almost_ called his name…

A lightning crossed the sky and thunder rumbled, but it sounded far away and weak. Just like his memories. Like the previous night when the lightning had lit up the room, seeing her eyes turned a smouldering fire by the lightning… the memories tugged at his heart and he got lost for a moment, closing his eyes.

 _Nekoma middle-school, first year…_

 _The girl who had just answered the teacher caught sight of Tetsurou staring and turned to him curiously. Long, silky black hair surrounding her calm expression. She seemed surprised by his staring and she suddenly looked away, blushing. Thirteen years-old Tetsurou, impressed and shaken up, felt his heart speed up like never before as he stared at the pretty, shy girl._

 _Then he remembered another moment that had occurred not long after, in a summer day, in a summer storm. It was pouring down, and he was running to get home faster, his umbrella doing a poor job at keeping him dry. Lightning lit up the sky and thunder resonated. He wanted to go home–_

 _He went to a stop and noticed a girl curled up against a wall. She was wearing the Nekoma uniform and kept her face hidden in her knees, long, silky hair keeping her from the world like curtains. Little Tetsurou's heart missed a beat as he stared at her and recognized the pretty, shy girl from his class. Saito Akane._

 _He wanted to go home but…_

 _Akane startled when she didn't feel the rain falling on her and instead, heard a light tapping. She looked up, stunned, just as lightning struck through the sky. Her reddish eyes, turned metallic from the lightning bolt, met Kuroo Tetsurou's. His amber eyes seemed to be a melting gold from the lightning. They both seemed stunned and flushed when their hearts sped up, to the rhythm of the thunder._

 _That was it. That was the moment, the defining moment of the beginning of their relationship, whatever it would become, even though they were still kids who didn't know what was happening in their hearts._

 _ **Coup de foudre**_ _. Lightning strike – love at first sight._

Tetsurou opened his eyes, staring at the sky, as dark and rainy as that day. His fists tightened around the metallic railing and a chuckle escaped his lips. He would have expected fear and panic, but instead it was peaceful and familiar.

 _It had been that long, uh…?_ He realized, feeling warmer and more comfortable than he would have imagined.

* * *

 _So much happens in this chapter... Kuroo and Bokuto get their ears pierced, AkaKuro get closer, a kitten arrives, a great realisation for Kuroo, their got their ears pierced..._

 _NEXT CHAPTER: PASSIONATE DREAMS (what you've been expecting is finally coming~)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	12. Passionate Dreams

_Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! WHat you were waiting for happens in this chapter and from now on, expect ~it~ often~! ;)_

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : Akane's nails are much sharper than the kitten's. ;)_

 _ **Savage Kill** : Well, he's slowly getting there~! Well... you'll see what the dreams are all about! ;D_

 _ **jungkookies** : Aaaw, so glad you were happy about the update! I know Kuroo with pierced ears is hot - imagine him with slightly shorter, messy hair, youo're going to melt! ;)_

 _ **PhantomSeekerz255** : I ACTUALLY HAD THE IMAGE OF KUROO AND BOKUTO GONIG TO CLAIRE'S BUT BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW IF IT EXISTED ANYWHERE ELSE I AVOIDED SAYING IT! BUT THAT'S TOTALLY WHERE THEY WENT TO PIERCE THEIR EARS!_

 _ **booklover2098** : The cute will stay, but the hotness will come~! ;)_

 _Chapter song: **"Come back home" Calum Scott**_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XII : Passionate Dreams

" _Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember; all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire."_

— **Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena**

" _If you leave me speechless I'll promise to steal your breath."_

— **Unknown**

" _All this energy between us, we must be glowing in the dark."_

— **Trina Teoh**

" _Kiss me with your eyes."_

— **Andy Warho**

" _Tell me. Tell me with your eyes."_

— **James Joyce, Exiles: A Play In Three Acts**

" _I can't stop shaking. I need you. I want you. I can't let myself have you."_

― **Kelli Maine, Taken**

" _I went crazy when I was with you. I can't let that happen again. Love is not supposed to do that. You made me go mad."_

— **Effy Stonem, Skins**

" _I want to know what passion is. I want to feel something strongly."_

— **Aldous Huxley, Brave New World**

"…Burning burning burning _burning_ …"

— **T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land**

" _I won't kiss you. It might get to be a habit and I can't get rid of habits."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, Flappers and Philosophers**

" _I was just waiting for you to want me as much as I wanted you."_

— **Kimberly Derting, The Body Finder**

" _I stare at her for a long moment. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life."_

— **Sara Gruen**

" _I'll kiss you if you want me to."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, Head and Shoulders**

" _It was one of two things: either you'd kiss me now or forever regret that you didn't."_

— **N.**

" _And with one kiss, you woke feelings in me I thought I had buried a long time ago."_

— **Unknown**

" _In one kiss you'll know all I haven't said."_

— **Pablo Neruda**

" _It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."_

— **Judy Garland**

" _I kissed her and saw that her eyes were shut. I kissed both her shut eyes. I thought she was probably a little crazy. It was all right if she was. I did not care what I was getting into."_

— **Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms**

" _Making love is not something you do to someone―it's something you share. Lovemaking between men and women should be mutually pleasurably. Both women and men should be fully and completely satisfied."_

― **J.F. Kelly, A Woman's Pleasure**

" _We do not know whether I am making love to you or you are making love to me. The experience is so completely mutual. It feels awesome. I wish it could last forever."_

― **J.F. Kelly**

"What's wrong with Kuroo?" Oikawa asked when he arrived in the changing-room and saw the former Nekoma Captain laying down on the bench, hiding his face in his arms.

"AH, apparently he dreamt of Akane last night and he thinks it's enough to be depressed about," Bokuto answered with a shrug, "Don't mind him."

"Don't talk about me like I was just an annoying carpet!" Kuroo shouted, suddenly sitting up.

"You look cheerful, Kuroo," Ushijima said as he arrived.

"I'm not! I'm miserable! I've ruined my life!" He exclaimed, pulling at his hair dramatically, "Not only I realized I have a thing for Akane, but it might have been for a while! And even _worst_ – I dreamt of her last night! I dreamt I was making sweet love to her! I never did that to anyone, not even Kohaku! I'm _finished!"_

Oikawa and Ushijima glanced between Kuroo and Bokuto, then stared at the latter:

"Have you two exchanged personalities in the night?" Oikawa asked, pointing between the two.

"O-oi! I'm not _that_ dramatic usually!" Bokuto exclaimed, earning pointed looks from the others.

" _Oikawa!_ It's not a joke! Akane and I even took care of a _kitten!"_ Kuroo exclaimed, grabbing the setter's shoulders.

Oikawa gasped, then grabbed Kuroo's shirt, which only made him panic even more:

"A _kitten?!_ Well then, that's it! There's no coming back! You two are married now!" He exclaimed in a dramatic (fake) tone.

Kuroo gasped, looking as terrified as insulted Oikawa would make fun of his situation.

"If you are so disturbed about your feelings towards Akane, why don't you talk to her?" Ushijima said calmly, changing clothes.

"It's not that easy!" Kuroo exclaimed, "We've been rivals for years, I can't exactly _suddenly_ tell her I li- I… I have a thing for her!"

"He almost said 'like', you heard, right?" Bokuto asked Oikawa who nodded vividly.

"He has it bad." He remarked.

"Shut up, alien boy! You're no better than me!" Kuroo exclaimed without deigning to look at him.

Oikawa gasped, pretended to be offended and huffed before going to change, as if ignoring him.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about. If you like her just be honest about it and face her. It can't be that hard. If you're afraid she'll reject you, then, she won't accept you if you remain in a corner like a kicked kitten either. Women like men who are honest about their feelings." Ushijima continued calmly.

"They do?" Oikawa asked, suddenly interested considering Ushiwaka's only knowledge about women came from what his cousin would tell him.

Ushijima nodded very seriously before continuing:

"Shiori told me that the wooing of a lady requires to be honest about his feelings and face her. She also said that the best way to conquer a woman's heart was to not be afraid about it, tell your acquaintances about it."

"…Like write it in the sky or something?" Bokuto proposed.

Ushijima seemed surprised he'd know about it, then he nodded. Oikawa and Bokuto glanced at each other, Kuroo narrowing his eyes at Ushiwaka.

"I think she was half-making fun of–" Bokuto started.

Oikawa suddenly covered his mouth to keep him from talking:

"She gave you excellent advices!" He exclaimed.

Ushijima shrugged, not caring much about it, while Bokuto glanced curiously at Oikawa who answered his silent question:

"She obviously told him this because she knows he'll believe every word of it! Imagine all the fun we'll have when Ushijima will _actually_ try to woo a woman in such a way!" He whispered into his ear.

"Oh…" Bokuto said, realization hitting him.

Kuroo watched them plot against the innocent Ushiwaka and sighed terribly. It attracted the Super Ace's attention once again.

"If you're that worried about her reaction to it, why don't you ask some of her friends if they know anything?" He proposed.

"I don't want to _date_ her!" Kuroo exclaimed, even though he knew it was starting to sound like a lie, "And I don't know any of her friend anyway!"

"I do!" Oikawa exclaimed, pulling out his phone and already sending a message to Kiku.

"Don't involve Kiku-chan in this story!" Kuroo exclaimed.

"Oops, too late. _Also_ , she probably already asked her. _And also_ , perhaps if you went to her job, you'd find some of her friends and find out the truth? If you want my opinion–"

"No."

"–I'd say she likes you~! The way she behaved, the teasing and fun whenever it came to you~! And she totally pole-danced for you the last time we were at the Gem's, so~!"

Kuroo shook his head, not wanting to think this way. If he thought that, which he hated to admit he _had_ , in some rare occasions, he would start to feel _hope_ in his heart. If he felt hope, he'll imagine things, he'll see things that weren't, and then, when the sad truth will hit him, it'll be even harder.

"Have you considered the possibility that she can like you as much as you do and that you can be _happy_ together?" Bokuto proposed.

Tetsurou looked up at him, stunned. It was as if he had been able to read his mind and from the way Bokuto was staring at him now, rather than mind-reading, it was… just knowing who he was. How he worked, what he felt… Bokuto had been the one by his side from the moment he had started dating Kohaku, to the drifting-apart, to the broken heart, to fixing it…

Tetsurou lowered his head, thinking back on what Akane had said a few nights ago when they had been together, taking care of the kitten.

" _But… things have changed…"_

 _Things_ _ **have**_ _changed, haven't they? Not just for you, Akane_ … Tetsurou thought to himself.

Practice distracted him but as soon as he stepped off the court, his mind was overflowing with Akane and the beautiful dream he had had of their bodies entwining together. He planned on going directly home and try to relax but after spacing out, he realized that his legs had taken him somewhere else.

He sighed to himself, glaring at the sign of the "Gem's" as if it was the cause of his being here. He rolled his eyes, about to turn around but his friends' words came back.

… _I'm just curious. I'll just… pop in for a minute and get a quick drink… and then… I'll go home… Just very quickly. Try to see if she's okay, or if she has friends. Or… if she notices me, figuring out what I'm going to do…_

Only half-convinced by his 'good' idea, he went to pay the entrance fees. The woman at the entry warned him that it was too early for most shows or anything, but he went anyway. The atmosphere was completely different from the other night. Most lights were normal white lights, there was only a very low music, there must have been three men around the room, looking more tired than actually admiring the show. There wasn't any show, just two waitresses, already dressed in their revealing outfit, talking on a side; and two more practicing their pole-dancing with their teacher. Akane was one of them. She wasn't even wearing her wig, it was just a practice, almost out of rhythm with the music, but for Tetsurou, it was even more sensual than the other night. This pole-dancing, practically no one else saw it, she was more herself…

Taking a drink, he sat in a corner far enough to not be noticed and watched her practice. Several times, he almost had a heart-attack when she almost fell down but she always caught herself. Her moves were slower, softer, she wasn't trying to let men enjoy themselves by watching her, she enjoyed it herself, and it was a lot more enjoyable to Tetsurou.

"Another drink, master?" A girl, Silver considering her wig, asked him.

He startled, not having realized how much time had gone by – the various lights were on, many more people had arrived and the atmosphere felt hotter, charged with more alcohol and arousal. Tetsurou swallowed hard, realizing that Akane had disappeared, probably to get ready for her show.

Silver stared at him, probably wondering if he was all right, when he finally spoke up:

"Not a drink, no thanks but…"

"Anything else, sir?" She proposed, taking the menu to present to him the different options he already knew.

His lips opened and closed but finally, he found his voice. A few minutes later, he was sitting on a comfortable sofa. He stared at the curtain of pearls falling down and keeping him from the world – he could see everything happening, but most people wouldn't see him, and his chosen girl, and whatever would happen here, with the darkness.

 _I can't believe I'm doing this_ … He thought to himself, thumbs tapping against one another nervously.

The pearls clicked against one another as Ruby entered the small room and she froze upon seeing who was there. Tetsurou looked up, Akane and him staring at each other, frozen, and as shocked as the very first time they had met in the Gem's.

"K-Kuroo…?!" She hissed before looking over her shoulder, making sure no one had heard, "What are you doing here?!" She asked, immediately going to sit down next to him on the sofa – mostly to keep what they were saying out of curious ear-short.

"I… uh, I just wanted to talk…" He answered, trying to keep his eyes fixated on her face.

She seemed extremely confused, and he couldn't blame her. Then she looked like she was about to punch him.

"And _this_ is the only way you found?! You couldn't just send me a message? Or wait for me to be home?! You had to come all the way _here!"_

"I don't have your number so, _no_ I couldn't send you a message–"

"Kuroo, we both damn well know that you _always_ find a way to get what you want so you could have gotten it if you had truly wanted!"

He couldn't deny it, but he wouldn't say it out loud and risk a beheading.

"What did you want to talk about that it couldn't wait anyway?" She asked with a heavy sigh, pulling at some of her red wig's hair distractingly.

 _Fuck_. Tetsurou thought, he hadn't taken the time to consider this.

"…The kitten. How is the kitten?" He asked hurriedly, not knowing what else to talk about.

She froze, her gaze seething that he'd bother her at work for the kitten. She rolled her eyes and turned away, as if about to leave before changing her mind and remaining where she was.

"He's fine! _You idiot!_ Coming here just for that! You didn't use my name, have you?" She asked, apparently more worried about preserving her secret job than his presence here.

Tetsurou blinked in disbelief. She wasn't trying to kill him, or leaving him behind on the spot. She… seemed surprisingly nice. Or he just couldn't get used to this aspect of her personality. She glanced quickly at him and he saw _something_ in her eyes that sent electricity through his veins. Perhaps this _something_ was what had changed. Perhaps this _something_ was what softened her voice when she talked and convinced her not to end his life right now.

This _something_ was turning him on.

"Of course not, I'm not stupid, I wouldn't call you by your name _here_. But you're not Saito Akane anyway, are you? You're Ruby." He said, his voice dropping.

Her eyes widened a little and he could almost feel her heart beating faster through the air, reaching him, charging the air between them with electricity. Her surprise upon hearing his change of tone was quickly gone though, and he saw the mischievous sparkle in her eyes that meant _"Let's play this game."_

"You're right… and the services you requested were from _Ruby_ , were they not?" She continued, her voice more sensual than before.

His heart sped up and his body turned hotter when she slid closer to him. Close enough to brush his bare arm with her breasts, enough to brush his legs with hers. Enough to feel each other warmth and smell each other's scents. Not close enough to touch.

Except for their hands. Ruby's fingers brushed Tetsurou's and before he knew what he was doing, he was turning his hand around and opening his palm. Their fingers entwined, hands sliding against one another like two lovers until she pulled away.

"And what is your specialty, Ruby?" He asked, voice tighter than usual.

"It depends… I can do anything my master requests of me." She continued, "It can be a private show as you know I am a competent pole-dancer…"

He thought back on his first time at the Gem's and how she had pointed at him across the room as she had given him a private show in public.

"It can be some comforting touch…" She continued, her hand brushing his thigh.

It was just enough pressure to be felt through the pants but not enough to be satisfying. Her long, red nails ran across from his knee to the inside of his thigh, finishing the journey with a last pressure of temptation.

Tetsurou breathed heavily, swallowing hard and fighting to hold his composure and not bite on his lower lip.

Ruby looked up and they realized how close they were, but she didn't move away.

"Or it can be the words you need to hear…" She whispered, her warm, cinnamon-tasted breath hitting his face.

Tetsurou couldn't help but glance at her red lips. She did the same with his as they edged even closer, just millimetres away, hot and bothered but never willing to admit it. Then their eyes met and they felt on fire. It was as intense as it was comforting, as soul-devouring as heart-warming. He lifted up his hand and his fingers brushed the soft, powdered skin of her cheek, then his thumb ran over her lips, some red remaining on his skin. He leaned down slowly, hesitantly, but when his eyes looked into her wide, reddish eyes, she turned her head away.

"The… customers aren't allowed to touch the jewels without their authorisation." Ruby said, turning her head that he wouldn't have any sight of her lips any more.

She stared at the button on the centre of the table – Tetsurou know it was an alarm that would warn one of the bodyguards to drag the touchy man outside. He was worried he had gone too far but then, Ruby looked away from the button and back at him. The sparkles and intense heat hadn't left between them. But there was hesitation and awkwardness. They had almost kissed. And if it wasn't the first time, they had been closer than the previous time; next time might be the decisive moment.

"You could ask me questions." Ruby suddenly said.

"U-um…" He hesitated, throat suddenly dry but he glanced at her shoulder and thought back on one of the questions that had been plaguing his mind since he had seen her at the Gem's for the first time, "Is it a real tattoo?" He asked.

Akane – because it wasn't Ruby but Akane at this moment – smiled, looking amused. He loved this smile. It was full of mischievousness and amusement, it was so rare and sparkling, surprisingly calm and soothing.

Slowly, carefully, she gathered all the shining, red hair of her wig and pushed it over her shoulder on one side, then she turned around to show him her back.

"What do you think?" She asked with a warm voice.

Tetsurou looked her up and down. From the nape of her neck, her entire back and the length of her tattoo, the curves of her waist and hips, her behind…

 _Live as if you'll die tomorrow. Learn as if you'll live forever_. Was written on her spine.

Terribly fitting and it expressed how amazing her mind was.

Tetsurou edged closer without actually touching her but he knew she could feel his warm body getting closer – she had the softest intake of breath.

"Do I have the authorisation to touch?" He asked, his hot breath hitting her neck.

His nose brushed her hair, the side of her head, as if guiding her head into leaning the right way to be face to face. Her breathing was shorter than before as she looked into his eyes. One of her hand brushed his jaw, softly, then fell down but their eyes never left each other.

"Yes…" She breathed.

He breathed out and without Akane ever looking away from him, his fingers softly brushed her shoulders. He went over them then to the back of her neck and from there, feather-light touch, his fingers wandered over the entire length of her back, dangerously slow. She had a shiver and curved her back, her head falling to rest onto his shoulder as he reached her lower back. He had a complete vision of her breasts in all their glory, held up by her black and red bra, a thin see-through fabric over it. Her curvaceous body, the light but firm muscles while his hands went over her waist and to the front of her body, brushing her belly-button. Akane sighed, closing her eyes, leaning against his torso, melting into him. His hands brushed over her hips then her thighs, grabbing them and teasing the inside of her thighs. Once again she let out a delicious sigh, her head turning. Her nose brushed the side of his neck, so did her lips and he looked down at her. They stared at each other, knowing where this was going. Tetsurou looked between her eyes and her lips and settled to fall into her eyes… Their noses brushed and they could already feel each other's hot lips when something rang.

Ruby's hand shot and turned off the alarm that indicated that the pearl-talk was over and the waitress had to go back to her work. The timing was settled automatically to make sure nothing would happen behind the pearls' curtains.

Frozen, Tetsurou tightened his lips, his hands stopping their caresses and slowly leaving her skin.

It seemed to be the hardest thing she ever did when Akane moved away from him, putting more distance. As much distance as the small space could allow.

"I… hope you were satisfied by our services, sir…" She said in a tight voice.

And before he could say anything, she left like a hurricane, disappearing into the darkness and blinding lights

He let out a heavy breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, he felt his cheeks hot, as if the consequences of everything that had just happened were falling on him now. He stood up to leave, perhaps catch a glance of Ruby, but his legs were shaking and it took all the strength he had left to leave the Gem's and get home. He didn't sleep well that night, dreaming of the sweet memories of what had happened during the pearls' talk, and dreaming of the hot possibilities that had opened up.

 _And yet_. Despite feeling like they _should_ have gotten closer with this flirting – quite close to a make-out session if they had had more time – nothing changed. If anything, they became even more distant. Neither of them dared look in the general direction of the other, knowing that an eye-contact would be fatal; they didn't dare speak to each other, knowing they'd end up flirting and possibly talk with their tongues rather than their lips; they didn't touch anymore, knowing it'd get hot and desperate… So they fell into a mutual, awkward, no-approach zone.

Thankfully, the mid-terms arrived and between practice or work and their studies, neither Tetsurou nor Akane bothered to think too much about any of it. Tried to, at least, because the other's touch was branded on their skins and the other's breath was still intoxicating them. It was still a nice distraction even if, for once, they didn't feel the push to beat the other in the exams.

" _KANPAI!"_

A series of glasses clicking together echoed as a group of a dozen of Chemistry students cheered for the end of their midterms – whether it was successful or not was another problem, but not for today. They all drank up their shots of alcohol, some pulling faces, others laughing and others feeling like their head would explode. They might have had a few too many drinks already but they were too glad to be done with the damn exams to really care.

"Organic compound in which the hydroxyl functional group… CnH2n+1OH… H-hydroxyl functional group is bound to a saturated carbon atom…" Eguchi muttered, looking down at his empty drink in a mix of shock and despair.

"Stop it! It's only good stuff! Drink up!" Kuroo exclaimed, filling up everyone's drinks once again.

"Kuroo! _You_ stop it!" Azuma exclaimed while the first one shakily drank up what Kuroo had filled for him.

"We don't have your height or size and fucking great muscles…" Fujiwara, a girl mumbled before sighing wishfully, staring at his half-opened, tight, burgundy shirt.

"My bad~!" He hummed, shrugging but it came off as more sensual than natural, making the girls growl, the alcohol and heat of the bar making them go mad.

"We said no staring! No staring!" A guy shouted.

"We never said that!"

"CnH2n+1OH!"

"Shut up with the chemical formulas!"

"DON'T SAY THE WORD CHEMISTRY!"

They quickly decided to play a game of truth or dare, turned more into a dare or dare with the alcohol involved. At some point Kuroo went to get another bottle of heavy alcohol, he had barely sat down on the high chair that his gaze was attracted by a red, voluptuous figure. He froze, mouth falling open and glass sliding from his hand and onto the table, attracting everyone's attention who followed his gaze. Two boys fell off their chair, and the others were suddenly hot and red in the cheeks – more than before at least.

Akane was arriving, walking like a queen of the night, in a tight, sexy, red dress.

"Hey," she said casually when she reached them, her smile and eyes addressed to Kuroo.

A few boys stammered and almost lost it, but thankfully the girls were (a little) more in control of themselves and talked while Kuroo was filling his glass once again to have something to do with his hands and his mind.

"I thought you had work and couldn't come with us, Saito?" Azuma asked curiously.

"I managed to get off my shift earlier, and I couldn't miss a good party with lots of alcohol. I already drank a little to get me going when I left, it was a co-worker's birthday – so, I hope I'm not late~?"

"Never…" Eguchi whispered in awe, but was still heard despite the bar's music and conversations.

She smiled to him, which almost gave the poor weak soul a heart-attack, then she turned to Kuroo. She planted her gaze in his then casually took his glass from his fingers and drank the shot, her gaze never leaving his. The sexual tension was so intense that it had the effect of a cold shower for their friends, some actually moving away.

"Thank you." She said, giving him back the empty glass, "I'm going to get one of my own, then I'll be here."

"Take mine," Azuma proposed.

"No! Mine!" Another guy exclaimed.

She pretended she hadn't heard them, turning around and going to the barman to get a glass and some more funny drinks. All the boys leaned so they could stare at her. When Kuroo noticed that, he turned to them, looking offended:

"Eyes off, you rascals! Who do you think you are, looking at her like that?!" He exclaimed, slapping the arm of the one closest to him.

"Why does she never dress like that to class?" Azuma mumbled, disappointed.

"Because you wouldn't focus otherwise?" Fujiwara said with a mocking grin.

"The real question is why you aren't fucking her yet, Kuroo! She's _so_ into you!" Another guy exclaimed, glaring at Kuroo who actually blushed, but he pretended it was the alcohol.

" _Who_ would be sane-minded and _not_ into him, though?" Kano, another girl of the group, mumbled into her glass.

"Keep the hormones away, please!" Azuma exclaimed.

"Keep it in your PANTS, please!" She responded, about to smack him.

Akane came back just then and raised an eyebrow to them, but they fell silent and pretended to pick up where they had left their game of truth and dare. Because Akane hadn't been here before, they made sure she'd have a few turns in a row, which got her to drink plenty of shots in very little time.

"Saito! Truth or dare!" Ichikawa, one of the guys who were into her, exclaimed, obviously some lustful intent in his eyes.

She hesitated, her drink resting against her lips, which got everyone to wish they were this glass.

"Truth."

"Which guy around this table would you fuck right here and now?" He asked, hopefully imagining she'd say his name.

"Tetsurou," she answered without missing a beat.

Tetsurou, along with a few others, smothered in his drink, almost coughing it out in shock. He started coughing, feeling so hot it was starting to get uncomfortable. Not only she had, _without hesitation_ , said she'd _fuck_ him, but she said his _first name_. Just his first name was enough to get him wild.

Akane opened and closed her lips, probably realizing what she had said, but then, perhaps it was the alcohol fogging her mind, she decided not to care much. The main concerned person, even though he was currently freaking out, already knew anyway.

"Why am I so jealous suddenly?" Fujiwara murmured, glaring at Akane and Tetsurou who were trying not to glance at each other, and failing miserably.

Their gazes weren't roaming over each other's bodies anymore, they were just catching eye with one another and _staring, staring, staring_ until their souls were on fire.

Some other truths and dare went around, Akane allowing a guy to touch her breasts if he could reach it, but he fell over the ground before he could and it was on him. They were still laughing about it when it was Kuroo's turn to choose.

"Dare!" He exclaimed.

 _Before you make me admit I'm in love with Akane, you fools_ , he added to himself, still clinging enough to consciousness.

"Then kiss Akane!"

 _FUCK!_ He thought, his mind clear, then a mess, then clear again, then a mess again, and he felt dizzy and almost fell off his chair.

Akane herself seemed pretty shocked, staring at the idiot who had just dared Kuroo; obviously the rest of their chemistry classmates were too drunk to think about the consequences of their words. But for better or worse, both Tetsurou and Akane had a very high tolerance to alcohol which proved to be a torture at the moment.

Akane's lips opened and closed as she glanced at Tetsurou who was staring at her. They were both too shocked to think of doing anything.

"Uuum… I… I'll drink if you don't want to…" He said, voice trailing off.

Akane stared at him, realizing he hadn't said he wouldn't do it. Just that he'd respect her choice. If she wanted this as much as he did, he'd do it.

It was just a kiss, after all. They had so much more in mind, a little, innocent kiss, wouldn't hurt them, _right?_

"O-okay…" She said, almost screaming at herself for saying it but unable to look away from his eyes.

Tetsurou swallowed but nodded, putting down his glass and edging closer, even though their knees had been touching since forever. He looked down at her, into her eyes and leaned down, everyone holding their breaths. His and Akane's breaths, smelling of alcohol, cinnamon and desire, mixing together deliciously. She closed her eyes and she felt his lips… pressed against her cheek.

The moment he had kissed her cheek, as if he had been burnt, he quickly pulled away and sat back on his chair, like a well-raised child.

She stared at him, as stunned as the others by his swift (and so sweet) gesture.

"Come on, you coward!"

"Just a kiss!"

"On the LIPS!"

"Kiss!"

"Come on, kiss!"

"KISS!"

"KISS!"

Banging on the table, repeating the same word over and over again like a mantra, for some reason most of the bar ended up doing the same, urging Tetsurou and Akane to kiss. They glanced at each other once again, knowing they wouldn't escape it this time. They stared at each other, blushing because of the butterflies in their stomachs, rather than turning red from the alcohol fogging their minds.

"Do you… um… is it okay?" He asked as he stood up, edging closer to her.

She remained sitting on the chair to be closer to his height, looking up, his hips pressed against her chair and so temptingly close to her own hips.

"It's…"

She had been hesitating but the moment she met his golden eyes, burning and yet so soft, she complied to her desire.

"If it's you, it's okay…" She said and somehow, he was the only one to hear.

He nodded, wordlessly saying _'I feel the same'_ , whatever feelings these were, fluttering in their hearts and entire bodies.

The back of his fingers brushed her cheek, and just like during the pearls' talk, his thumb brushed her lips but then, instead of moving away or just leaning down to kiss her, he cupped her cheek, his other hand against her waist. If he had to kiss her, he'd do it damn right. She had a sharp intake of breath as he pulled her closer, only enough distance that they were the only ones aware of it. Her eyes glanced down at his lips then back into his golden eyes. He moved slowly, both enjoying every second of it. His nose brushed hers, then their lips and finally, she closed her eyes and tilted her head up. Their lips touched and their minds cleared up. The world seemed to stop spinning, there was no more overheating from the bar, no more screaming from the drunk people, no more anything except the simplest thing in the world: a kiss.

They pressed into the kiss for a long moment, overwhelmed by this sensation of peace and sweet warmth. Their lips pulled away in the slightest as their foreheads pressed against each other, eyes still closed, breaths shorts, the whole bar cheering. Then wishing to taste a little more of this sinful paradise, Tetsurou moved his lips against hers once again, a little bolder as he tilted his head on a side. She answered to his kiss, somewhat a little shyly, but her hands held onto his shoulders, nails digging through the shirt into the skin. It urged him on and he deepened the kiss, his tongue opening her lips. She seemed to gasp by the thunderstruck sensation and he took it as the authorisation to kiss more, deeper. He kissed her desperately, ardently and after a moment, she was kissing him back with the same thirst, their bodies pressed together until they could feel each other's passionate heartbeats.

Needing to breath for some air, they pulled away and it was as if the reality came back on them. They stared at each other, completely stunned – not by their kiss, but the way it had felt. _Fulfilling_. As if everything they had felt now made sense and could only be expressed through this shy and passionate touch of their lips.

Everyone was still cheering but it was just background noise.

Tetsurou and Akane stared at each other for a long time, then he kissed her again, she moaned into his mouth, grabbing his hair while his hands pulled her even closer. She was completely pressed against him, one hand holding her tight, the other running over her leg and under her dress, fingers digging deep.

"O-oi! It's okay!"

"Just a kiss, not actual sex!"

"You can stop now!"

"I don't think they're hearing anything…"

None of these words meant anything to either Tetsurou or Akane but he had to pull away, chuckling lightly. She bit her lower lip and gods, he almost lost it then. They looked at each other once again, knowing that their kiss held something more than just alcohol and lust, that their touch was more than loneliness and despair. But they decided to ignore it just to stop feeling so hot and uncomfortable not yet entwined together.

Without a glance at their classmates, Tetsurou stepped away, letting Akane stand up and then they walked out of the bar, everyone whistling and cheering for them but it was nothing. The fresh air outside hit them but after just a few meters, Tetsurou grabbed Akane's hand and turned her around, kissing her once again, but this time, with more tenderness.

Even though her high-heels gave her enough height that he wouldn't be uncomfortable kissing her, he pulled away and grabbed her waist. She jumped in the same time he lifted her up, surrounding his hips with her legs while he carried her like that, never stopping to kiss for a moment until they reached their apartment complex.

By the time Tetsurou was opening his door, the ardent fire was gone, but it had left something softer, and yet, it felt stronger. Their minds were now clear enough so that using the excuse of alcohol was just a joke.

Akane looked up at him, as if silently asking him if they were really doing this. He barely hesitated before leaning down, cupping her cheeks with two hands and kissing her tenderly. She kissed him back, holding onto him, as he pushed her towards the bed. Kissing, passionately at times, softly at other moments, they pulled and ripped each other's clothes and were in bed and sliding against one another within minutes. The sensations were beyond anything they had ever felt, better than any sex, clearer than any state of mind, stronger than with anyone else. An ardent fire burnt between them before leaving a comforting passion fill their souls. Desperate grips turned into soft caresses. Deep, breathless kisses left room for more butterfly kisses all over their bodies that never stopped moving in perfect harmony. Hands in the hair, all over their bodies, lips everywhere they could reach, they kept switching positions. Every time they'd come, the moment their lips touched again, they were going for another passionate love-making that was beyond than anything else.

In their dreamlike state, their sins allowed them to reach a yet unexplored heaven.

* * *

 _All right. They did the do. Now to the consequences of the do._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : OOPS~!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	13. Oops!

_The previous chapter was very recently but I wanted to post this one fast, soyou can have a feeling of "morning after" lol; also, I'm ni a good mood! XD_

 _Chapter's song: **"Oops" from Little Mix**. Practicaly the entire fanfic and Akakuro story was built around the events of this chapter and that song~!_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! Especially because holy haikyuu, already over 50 reviews! Also, I love how the reviews reflect people's personalities! XD_

 _ **Monkeyheart3** : You're going to see how they're going to deal with it all~! _

_**Savage Kill** : That song is sort of the feeling of the chapter, yea~! And well, babies are for later._

 _ **jungkookies** : The details will come, don't worry! XD_

 _ **Jocie413** : Well, it IS Kuroo, after all! x) I hope the morning after won't disapponit you~!_

 _ **Lovelybaka** : It's funny because in the other fanfics, it takes 60or so chapters for Bokuto to just KISS Ayaka, 30or so for Iwiaizumi.. but Kuroo, 12chapters and they're fucking. And Oikawa, prologue and a kiss already lol. The ex-boyfriend/ex-sex-friend isn't gonna be back in the pciture for a little while. Let's let these two take in the consequences of their actions, uh. There's gonna be another "drama queen" Kuroo in this chapter, ahah! ;D_

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : I hope you'lve liked it so far, and you'll keep loving it! They have great chemistry~!_

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : I think Ushijima is used to it at this point, he has to deal with Kuroo and Bokuto and Oikawa on a daily basis. It's not easy everyday for someone like him. The kitten is still with Akane, but little by little, he'll get adopted by Kuroo too! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XIII : Oops~!

"… _One day—preferably when we're both blind drunk—we can talk about it."_

— **J.D. Salinger, Franny and Zooey**

" _My mouth hasn't shut up about you since you kissed it. The idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain, which hasn't stopped thinking about you since well before any kiss."_

— **Alex Turner**

" _He knew why he wanted to kiss her. Because she was beautiful. And before that, because she was kind. And before that, because she was smart and funny. Because she was exactly the right kind of smart and funny. Because he could imagine taking a long trip with her without ever getting bored. Because whenever he saw something new and interesting, or new and ridiculous, he always wondered what she'd have to say about it–how many stars she'd give it and why."_

— **Rainbow Rowell, Attachments**

" _I want to be kissed with a passion. One that drives my significant other so wild, that when they grab me, they are actually the one losing control."_

— **Anonymous**

" _Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac."_

— **Timothy Leary**

" _I am in the middle of it: chaos and poetry; poetry and love and again, complete chaos. Pain, disorder, occasional clarity; and at the bottom of it all: only love. Sheer enchantment, fear, humiliation. It all comes with love."_

— **Anna Akhmatova, The Akhmatova Journals, Vol. 1**

" _You're right – I wasn't thinking clearly. I needed you to kiss some sense into me."_

— **N.** **M. Sanchez**

" _I desire the things that will destroy me in the end."_

— **Sylvia Plath**

" _Be with the one who makes you forget how terrified you are of falling in love."_

— **Rudy Francisco**

" _How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body?"_

— **Laurel Hoodwrit**

" _And I kissed her, I kissed her — her mouth, her ears, her shoulders."_

— **Franz Kafka, The Complete Stories**

" _You were my beautiful mistake and I don't regret anything. I would do it all again in a heartbeat."_

— **Michael Faudet, Bitter Sweet Love**

" _Maybe it won't work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever."_

— **Anonymous**

"Love isn't complicated, people are."

— **Anonymous**

" _Something amazing happens when we surrender and just love. We melt into another world, a realm of power already within us. The world changes when we change. The world softens when we soften. The world loves us when we choose to love the world."_

— **Marianne Williamson**

" _I love you-I do-but I am afraid of making that love too important. Because you're always going to leave me… We can't deny it. You're always going to leave."_

— **David Levithan, Every Day**

" _She's confused and afraid to commit to the wrong thing, so she won't commit to anything."_

— **Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club**

" _Many a hearts have been broken in the name of friendship and many relationships have been built in the name of lust."_

— **Anonymous**

 _Bodies sliding against one another in perfect harmony._

" _Tetsurou… Tetsurou… I love you…"_

 _Breathless moans, more kisses._

" _Akane…"_

" _Tetsurou…"_

 _He took a sharp intake of breath, overwhelmed by the sensations Akane provoked within him._

Tetsurou startled awake, suddenly sitting up. He remained frozen, staring at his wall, feeling foggy and still sleepy after the short night and too much alcohol. It had been a dream. What a wonderful dream, how sad it had ended.

Slowly, he realized he was completely naked and that his pillows smelled of apple and cinnamon.

 _It wasn't a dream… We… Akane and I… we_ … He thought, turning redder than Nekoma's jersey.

He turned to look at Akane to have the confirmation he hadn't dreamt it all but… she was gone. He was all alone in his bed. His clothes were scattered all around but nothing was left of Akane, except the scent she had left on his pillows and the proofs of their night of fuck– _no_ , it hadn't been anything close to fucking. It was beyond that. It was… _love-making_ as he imagined it should feel…

Slowly he sat up, staring around and checking the time on his phone. The sun was up but it was still early and Akane was gone. She was gone.

Then the realization that he had _made love with Akane_ hit him and he blushed even more if it was possible, grabbing a pillow to hide his face into, smothering his whines.

Then he did the only thing that his cloudy, sleep-deprived and madly in love mind could do: he got dressed and stepped out to go see his neighbour – Saito Akane. The woman he had made love to the previous night. Tetsurou didn't even think about whether it was the right thing to do, or what he'll do once he'll see her but his body physically _needed_ to see her. To talk, to touch, to be as close as the previous night, physically and emotionally.

Standing in front of her door, he lifted up his hand but before he could knock, it opened. He and Akane froze, staring at each other with wide eyes, cheeks turning red.

She seemed as troubled and tired as he was, perhaps blushing even more.

"T-Tetsu… Kuroo!" She exclaimed, her voice squeaking a little in mortifying embarrassment to see him again after what had happened last night, "W-what are you doing here?"

"U-um…"

His stupid bravery was gone, his mouth was dry and there was a sudden knot in his stomach that kept jumping around, almost making him sick.

"Are you… uh… going out?" He asked, realizing she had been about to exit her apartment.

"…I need aspirin…" She said before glancing away, "And possibly a few more drinks to help me deal with the consequences of last night…"

"…Ah."

He kept staring at her, strangely thinking that she was the most wonderful being in the universe. Messy hair, bags under her eyes, no make-up, possibly paler than normal. Then his gaze glanced to her neck, seeing the physical proof of last night. _Damn_ , he had been ferocious. He didn't even remember being so intense but the details of the previous night were too blurry.

"So… see you around, Kuroo…" She said, closing the door and hurrying towards the other end of the hall, making sure to not brush him.

" _Tetsurou… Tetsurou…"_

"W-wait!" He exclaimed in a gasp, hurrying after her, his long legs quickly catching up to her, "Akane, wait! We should talk!"

"There's nothing to talk about," she said, accelerating a little.

"I think there _is_ something to talk about! What happened last night–"

"Was a mistake!" She exclaimed.

Just then he grabbed her arm and forced her to turn around, staring fiercely at each other. They remembered clearly enough last night's intense kisses, sweet love-making and soft whispers against each other's skins.

Tetsurou swallowed hard, refusing to acknowledge the way his heart stung at her words.

Akane looked down, slowly pulling away her arm from his hold.

"What happened last night was a mistake and it won't happen again… It meant nothing. Sorry if I led you on…"

"Wait…"

" _Tetsurou… I love you…"_

She waited for him to finish before leaving, without meeting his eyes.

"I… I wasn't protected last night, did you…"

"I'm on the pill, you don't have to worry. You can forget all about it." She said, sounding distant, and perhaps a little sad or maybe it only was Tetsurou's own feelings.

 _How could I ever forget about it…?_ He thought as she disappeared in the elevator and he remained there like an idiot, feeling like he had nothing to look forward to.

He went back home with dragging feet, shoulders down and not knowing what to do. Their relationship was such a mess, what was he supposed to think now?

He found out she loved him with this strange tapping message on their wall. He realized he might have a little more than just a crush on her. They kissed. It was the best kiss of his life, nothing had ever felt this way. They made love again and again, and again… _and again_ … Nothing had ever felt so fulfilling… last night she had whispered into his ear that she loved him – he hadn't dreamt it, right? Or had he? What part was real and what part was the dream? And now, she was saying it all meant nothing and he should forget about it?

He went into his bathroom to take a refreshing shower but all he could see were the hickeys and scratches Akane had left all over his body. He felt hot and needy. He didn't know what could help him feel better. Or rather, he knew but refused to acknowledge it. _She_ didn't do it either. Now that he had tasted heaven, how could he go back to a normal life?

He _tried_ to distract himself by studying but remaining in his room reminded him too much of the previous night. So he went to the university's library, but his sleep-deprived and foggy mind because of the remaining of alcohol made it impossible to focus on anything. And perhaps he was also thinking a little too much about Akane. Finally, after hours of useless struggle with his notes, he dragged himself to practice, hoping it'd distract him more effectively than chemistry formulas.

He imagined he looked terrible and the way his teammates stared at him when he arrived, suddenly silent, confirmed it.

"What the fuck happened to you? You look like a dead racoon was all over your face and hair last night…" Bokuto said.

"…Always one for comforting words, Bokuto…" Kuroo mumbled, glaring at him half-heartedly.

"You had your party with your classmates last night, right?" Oikawa recalled, "That's the look of a few too many drinks, isn't it?"

"Drinking too much isn't good for your health." Ushijima remarked.

"Fuck my health… it wasn't just a few too many drinks that got me in this state."

Ushijima's lips fell open, slightly offended by the tone of voice of Kuroo. Even Oikawa and Bokuto were a little surprised. It was a side of him that they didn't see often and the only time Bokuto had seen him so devastated was when he had gotten drunk over Kohaku's sudden departure for another prefecture, completely breaking his heart and trust… Which meant… something had happened. Probably involving Akane. Knowing Kuroo will need to talk, but he'd likely remain silent unless he'd force him to talk, Bokuto decided he'll take care of him later and turned to the others:

"Ah, sorry for him! He's always grumpy when he's been drunk and sleep-deprived like that!"

"That's a _notch_ above simple 'grumpiness'." Oikawa said with wide eyes to express his continuing surprise.

"He's okay, a little practice and he'll be as new and–"

"Akane and I had sex last night," Kuroo suddenly said.

Bokuto, Oikawa and Ushijima stared at him with wide eyes while the entire room of players fell silent. Kuroo then turned towards his friends, looking absolutely panicked:

"What am I supposed to do now…?!" He exclaimed.

"YOU _WHAT?!"_ Bokuto and Oikawa shouted, startling a rather calm Ushijima.

"Wow, lucky you!" A senpai exclaimed, "Akane is the hot girl from the other time, right?"

A few others senpais whistled and congratulated Kuroo but he looked at Bokuto, eyes wide and frightened:

" _Bokuto…!"_

"Don't panic! Don't panic _now!"_ He exclaimed, grabbing his friend's shoulders.

"I _am_ panicking!"

"Well, don't!"

"You think I'm in control of my emotions right now?!"

"I'm the one who can't be in control of my emotions! Not you!"

"I'M FREAKING OUT OKAY?! I fuck- no, it wasn't even a normal sex! It was _making love!_ I made _love_ to Akane! _Saito Akane!_ Do you realize what this means?! She said 'I love you'! and she called my name but then she said it meant nothing! And now I don't know what to think or what to feel! I don't even know how much was a dream and what was real!"

"Kuroo–"

"Calm down–" Oikawa attempted hesitantly.

"I never made love to anyone before and I never felt so confused EVER! _In my entire life!_ What am I gonna say to my mom?! Akane said it meant nothing but it felt so good and so real! When we kissed it was like heaven! Like what you said about the world stopping and peace and–"

The slap resonated in the entire changing-room and everyone fell silent, glancing between Kuroo and Bokuto. Kuroo blinked, then slowly lifted up his hand to his red cheek and winced, feeling like his jaw might have popped out. Then he turned stunned eyes towards Bokuto who had just slapped him, Kuroo's expression was completely offended for having received _a slap from Bokuto_ …

The Captain was about to intervene when Bokuto spoke up:

"I'm so sorry, it went on its own but you needed it!" Bokuto said, lifting up his hands hesitantly.

"…Did you just slap me with your top five spiker arm just now?" Kuroo asked in disbelief, rubbing his burning cheek.

"No, I slapped you with barely any strength at all– it's about the strength I use to slap Ayaka's ass when we– _anyway!_ You needed it! _Badly!_ And I'm sorry for that!" Bokuto continued, starting to pale at the idea of whatever Kuroo will find for revenge.

"...I'm going to ignore the fact that you consider me as delicate as Ayaka's behind… but thanks. I'm… my mind is clear now… for better or worse." He mumbled, frowning to himself but the only numb part of him was his cheek.

"Great because I was starting to freak out about you punching me." Bokuto answered with a sigh of relief.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll do much worse." Kuroo answered, straightening up.

Oikawa leaned towards Ushiwaka:

"Remind me to _never_ freak out in front of either of them, but _you_ instead. It'd go over your head and _my_ head would be safe from being ripped off with a slap." He whispered to him.

Ushijima sent him an unamused stare before turning towards Kuroo:

"You're feeling better now?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Surprisingly, yeah… the entire day was a blur but now, I feel better. I'm still freaking out about the whole making love to Akane, though. _Don't_ lift up your hand, Bokuto." He added with a threatening voice when, without looking, he _sensed_ Bokuto ready to give him another slap if needed.

Bokuto lowered the hand and the senpais sighed, deciding to let them settle their trouble on their own.

"Whatever you do, keep it in the changing-room and don't give slaps in front of coach," the Captain of the Junior team, Adachi, said.

"Oooss!"

"Care to explain what happened with Akane-chan then? You were a _little_ confused before Bokuto's slap," Oikawa said, his curiosity taking over.

Kuroo hesitated before sighing and despite the flush on his cheeks, he told them what had happened last night: drinking, the kiss, the _other_ kisses, then what had continued in his room and the morning's encounter with Akane.

"She's probably freaking out just as much as you," Oikawa concluded when Kuroo was done.

Now changed in-between two sentences, Kuroo turned towards him with wide eyes:

"What? But she's… she's Saito Akane, she can't freak out about that… can she?" He asked.

The setter shrugged while the captain called the last ones to hurry for warm-up, the players slowly emptying the room.

"I don't know her as well as you, but isn't it what anyone would do? Pretend nothing happened just to ignore the consequences?"

Kuroo seemed to have a mind-blowing realization – it did explain a lot about Akane's behaviour this morning. He couldn't imagine her regretting making love to him – _he_ had been the one she shared it with, after all~ and _he_ definitely didn't regret it – but leaving before he'd wake up, trying to avoid him then pretending it meant nothing when… it might be everything for _them_. Whatever their relationship could be labelled as…

"I don't think that ignoring what happened is the solution, though," Ushijima remarked, "You should face her about it and about your feelings as soon as possible."

"I agree with Ushiwaka! It's a golden chance to get with her and become a real couple instead of just hooking with her by accident because of alcohol!" Bokuto added.

"I can't believe I'm saying that but… I agree with Ushiwaka too." Oikawa muttered, as if the words were ripping his throat.

Ushijima himself seemed surprised but he didn't pay it too much attention or Oikawa would be the one freaking out.

"M-maybe you're right…" Kuroo mumbled, looking absent-minded.

"Of course, we are!" Bokuto exclaimed enthusiastically.

They were about to exit the changing-room when Kuroo stopped and turned towards Bokuto, swiftly slapping him. It surprised him so much he froze and blinked before whining:

"Aaaouch! What was _that_ for?!" He exclaimed, hand on his cheek.

"Return for earlier." Kuroo growled, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

"It fucking _hurts!_ How come your spike is so weak if you have so much strength in your arm?" Bokuto whined, massaging his cheek.

" _Fuck off!"_ Kuroo exclaimed, glaring at Bokuto for the insult.

"You're gonna get another one with remarks like that, don't tempt the devil!" Oikawa warned him, swiftly avoiding the two Tokyo citizens to avoid getting in the middle of their slaps, Ushijima following him closely.

"Oi! The Kinky Four, hurry up, warm-up is starting!" A senpai called from the other side of the hall.

They all startled and flushed in embarrassment to be called the "Kinky Four"…

"It's totally your fault we're called that…!" Bokuto whispered to Kuroo as they hurried.

"Why me too?" Oikawa mumbled, more embarrassed than they imagined he'd be by the nickname.

"I'm not kinky…" Ushijima grumbled.

"You don't even know what it means!" Oikawa exclaimed as they arrived into the court and stretched.

"I spent three years with Tendou, _and_ almost three months with the lot of you. Unfortunately, I _know_ what kinky is." He answered, rolling his eyes.

He started running around the court, the three others glancing at each other in confusion.

"Did we just low-key got called perverts by Ushijima?" Kuroo asked for confirmation.

"He was talking about you, though!" Bokuto answered, starting to run.

"EH!" Kuroo shouted, running after him.

Thanks to his friends, Kuroo relaxed enough to not think _too much_ about the current situation concerning the relationship status between him and Akane. He almost felt light-hearted when he quit practice, thinking that they had given him a surprisingly good advice: let's face Akane. There was no reason to let things get awkward when there definitely was something between them. He was into her, she definitely was into him, and even if he wasn't a fan of 'relationships'… he might not mind _that much_ if it were with Saito Akane.

The problem was: _how?_

How anyone ever managed to muster the courage to talk to someone they were into? How to low-key ask them out? Not that Tetsurou even knew if he wanted to be with Akane like that… or maybe yes… but… it'd be complicated. And weird. But he wouldn't mind. But–

"Stop thinking about Akane for fuck's sake," he muttered to himself as he exited his apartment the following day to go to classes.

He looked up and met eyes with Akane who was apparently going out on the exact same time. He flushed, realizing what he had just said. _Outloud_.

"I… I wasn't… talking about you… but another… Akane…" He mumbled.

She stared at him, lips falling open then huffed and turned around to leave. He closed his eyes and cursed himself.

 _Great start, Tetsu. Great_. He thought, now feeling like a complete imbecile.

Of course, she managed to completely ignore him on the entire way, despite walking side-by-side. He might have stared a little too much and started behaving like a creep and by the time he realized that and slowed down, she was out of view from him. And of course, the first thing their classmates asked when he and Akane arrived in class was how had been their night together. Frozen and mortified, everyone turned around, realizing that if they had spent the night together, _stuff_ had happened.

Tetsurou and Akane were both blushing, everyone teasing and asking them questions or congratulating them. They didn't answer anything, but couldn't possibly ignore anyone or each other. When they moved to take their seats, of course they moved in the same time and of course they bumped into each other. Of course Akane tried to let him go first, and of course he tried to let her instead, then they bumped into each other again and by then, everyone was laughing at their embarrassing behaviour. She went ahead with a frustrated sigh and blushing cheeks and Tetsurou followed. His throat was dry when he saw her climb the stairs right in front of him. Flashes of the night they had spent together decided to come back _now_. The curve of her back as she moved over him, his hands over her legs and going in front to cup her breasts. Her moans and his growls as his teeth dived into her neck and she accelerated.

By the time he sat down, he was sweating nervously, red, and trying to stop the memories to keep flooding his mind. Thankfully, the teacher arrived then and spared him from any more embarrassing remarks from their classmates, though everyone was still whispering while looking at the two of them.

Out of habit, Tetsurou sat right behind Akane and when she leaned forward to take off her jacket, he saw the way her shoulders and back muscles moved, seen just a little where her shirt was casually sliding off her shoulder. He licked his lower lip and hid his face in his arms, trying to hold back from reaching to her just as she leaned against her seat and _her hair tickled his forearm_. He sat up again so suddenly his long legs hit her chair and startled her. She turned around with wide eyes, staring at him in disbelief as if asking him in silence if he could stop making it any more awkward. He smiled tightly while avoiding looking at her, a hand in front of his face.

"All right!" The teacher started, taking out his papers from his bag, "Before any of you ask, your mid-exams aren't graded yet… if it's not done by next week, remind me to do it because I will probably forget. Please do so with the offering of a cup of coffee too." He continued with a bored, tired voice, "Also, I heard about the drinking games some of you did the other day – and a new couple is formed! Good luck, Saito and Kuroo."

Everyone turned to the 'couple' with chuckles while they felt like burying themselves, but their teacher continued, still not looking up from his books and messy notes.

"So, for today's lesson… open the book page… whatever page the new chapter starts at. Also, tell me when the time is up because I have another class after." The teacher said lazily.

The lesson started but obviously, for Tetsurou and Akane, it was only two hours of slow torture. Despite everyone's focus quickly switching away from them, they still had trouble forgetting the shame of _everyone_ apparently knowing what had happened two nights ago.

Wanting to escape teasing and people's attention, Tetsurou put his stuff in his bag in record time before almost running down the stairs. He hadn't expected Akane to be as fast and to follow him, ferociously barking out his name to stop – which only encouraged him to _keep_ _running_. She was pursuing under everyone's hooting but they had only walked a few meters away from the amphitheatre that Akane grabbed his arm and pushed him into a dark corner where no one could notice them:

" _What the fuck_ , Kuroo?!" She hissed, "Who did you tell that we had f-fucked…?! You couldn't keep your mouth shut?! What if _all_ the teachers know?!"

"I didn't tell anyone! And the teachers have other things to worry over than who fucks who among their students!" He exclaimed, lifting up his hands innocently, "I'm as shocked as you that the teacher found out!"

"So you didn't tell anyone at all?" She asked for confirmation, still glaring.

" _NO! ..._ Except…"

"Oh, _fuck you_."

"If I recall well you _enjoyed_ it," he said teasingly before flushing and cursing to himself – since when did he get flustered when flirting?! Ah. Right. Since _Saito Akane_.

She hit his arm hard enough to make him wince.

"Who did you talk to?!" She asked instead of acknowledging his words.

"…Just my friends from the volleyball team… and… possibly Kenma… and Yakkun… and Kai? B-but… it was… it wasn't, it was just…"

 _Because I was freaking out_ …

"Oh _great!"_

"Don't tell me _you_ didn't tell anyone either! You had sex with _me_ , which is quite memorable if I dare say so!" He continued.

She stared at him, suddenly looking lonely. And he remembered that he barely saw her hang out with anyone… She probably didn't have anyone to freak out with.

Before he could say anything, his phone vibrated and when he pulled it out he opened a message from Bokuto:

 **EVERYONE KNOWS! THERE'S A PICTURE IN THE MAIN HALL AND THE CAFETERIA!** Was written with a joined picture.

The picture of the picture taken of Kuroo and Saito kissing passionately in the bar.

"…I know how the teacher found out…" He mumbled, showing the text and the photo to Akane.

She growled, covering her face and leaning against the opposite wall. They remained silent a short moment.

"I'm going to fucking kill them…" She hissed, "The teachers are going to know and they're just going to think we're here to fuck and… and they're going to lower our grades and we'll always be remembered as the two who got drunk and fucked around!" She exclaimed in agony.

"Come on, the teachers won't do that… and who cares what others think? It's not like they didn't get drunk or didn't fuck around… I'm sure we're not the only ones who spent the night together…"

"I CAN'T mess up, Kuroo!" She cried out, looking up at him in complete panic, "It's my _only_ chance to get it right! I can't mess up university!"

She breathed out heavily, as if as surprised as he was by her sudden outburst. Then she looked away, distraught and he felt moved in ways he wouldn't have imagined.

"Hey… it's going to okay… you're… you're _brilliant_ …" He said, making her look up in surprise, "If one person would never mess up university it's _you_. You're hard-working and passionate and you're the only person I know who managed to study and comprehend sciences so easily. It's in your nature, you're… you're a genius."

He pushed himself off the wall, approaching her slowly and looking right into her eyes, his hands trembling just to keep himself from reaching out to her. It was hard to tell in the mid-darkness but her eyes were shining with unshed tears and her lips were trembling.

"If the teachers don't already know that, then they're going to realize it soon. And if they're stupid enough to take away your chances just because you had fun for one night… they're complete idiots. You're the only person who truly deserves everything. I… I never wanted to admit that you were better than me in sciences because it hurt my pride but… _you are_ …"

His voice had slowly gone down, getting softer, sweeter, hotter. Instead of saying what he was expected to say, he said what _felt_ right to say. He had never complimented her, especially not so honestly. He was as shaken up as she was.

Akane stared up at him, eyes wide in something mixing between awe and gratefulness and… love. He wasn't certain it was 'love' but it was… soft and made her eyes become more beautiful.

And without surprise, the atmosphere of the usual agreeable tension filled the air. The strange sense of lust and attraction, the connection that seemed to bring them closer and closer. And now that they had kissed and touched each other and felt something close to 'love', it wasn't just urge and curiosity and electricity. Now, it was craving and familiarity and warmth.

Then, suddenly, instead of saying anything, Akane reached up for his face and forced him down for a passionate kiss. He gasped before kissing her back, grabbing her waist as she pushed him against the wall and they kissed, and kissed, and lived and loved. It was incredible and passionate, they felt breathless and rather than unlike themselves, it was like their true selves were coming to life through their kiss.

And as suddenly as she had kissed him, Akane suddenly moved away, gasping in shock to realize what she had done. She flushed and tried to walk away but he grabbed her arm and turn her around, swiftly leaning down to keep kissing her. She immediately kissed him back, unable to fight the reflex. Her hands cupped his cheeks and went into his hair and his own hands ran over her body, pulling at her shirt to feel the warm skin but as quickly as they had wandered under her clothes, his hands were tenderly caressing her cheeks.

Akane pulled away once again, to breath, and their foreheads rested against one another. Tetsurou tried to look into her eyes but, realizing they were half into the hall and light, Akane pulled away, this time with her hands on his chest to keep him away. His hands remained on her hot cheeks, warm from blushing so red.

She turned around and he went after her but Akane bumped into someone and squealed. She apologized and went behind the young man, hurrying away. Tetsurou tried to run after her but was held back by the guy:

"Hey! I was looking for you!" Bokuto exclaimed, "You didn't answer my messages! Hey… you're okay?" He asked.

Kuroo tried to look where Akane had gone but she had disappeared and he was still out of breath after their passionate kiss. He turned towards Bokuto at his question, momentarily pissed he had kept him from going after Akane but… he started laughing and leaned against him, startling Bokuto who didn't know what to do when his friend was suddenly hugging him, blushing and laughing.

"Uuum… are you okay?" He asked, sounding frightened.

"I-I don't know!" He exclaimed in-between fists of ecstatic laugh.

"Uuuh… okay?"

Tetsurou had no idea was he felt so happy and bubbly but he didn't remember a moment in his life when he had been so genuinely happy.

After this kiss, a secret one this time that no one heard about, Akane and Tetsurou didn't talk about it. But all the awkwardness and avoiding each other was gone. They weren't talking any more than before, but the longing gazes and the brushing of skin in crowds said it all. During classes, he'd tease her with soft caresses at the nape of her neck. When they were escaping in halls too tight for the flow of all the students, their fingers would find each other and they'd tease with sinful caresses. They lost count of the times they stared at each other for too long while doing experiences, always paired up with someone else. One time Akane stared at Tetsurou for so long that the liquid he had been filling went over the cup and it set the whole experience on fire. But when he got scolded by his lab partner and teacher for being distracted, he saw her amused smile and he was okay with messing up. Another time, it was Akane's turn to be so flustered that she clumsily let her notebook and books slip from her hands and scatter on the floor. When she looked up, Tetsurou was hiding behind his own notebook, but was obviously laughing, biting on his lower lip. He lifted up his notebook just high enough for the two of them to share a longing gaze and then, they were back to taking notes of the results of their experiments.

Everyone could tell they were into each other and it was just a matter of time before they became an official couple, but instead of pushing them together, the rest of the chemistry students just watched in amusement as they flirted, thinking they were discreet. Without Kuroo or Saito ever finding out, bets were made on when and how they'd get together. About 90% of the spectators agreed on the fact that the 'how' would probably be another night together.

Someday, at lunch, Tetsurou was with Bokuto and Ushiwaka, listening to what the latter was talking about when Akane suddenly passed by. They smiled at each other, Akane's teeth nibbling on her lower lip. Tetsurou had noticed that she did that a lot when she was excited and trying to keep calm – he found it _adorable_ ~.

"You have it so bad…" Bokuto commented in amusement when he saw Kuroo turn around to keep staring at her for as long as physically possible.

"Mm mm~!"

"You're going to fall off your chair if you keep leaning off, though," Bokuto remarked (Kuroo had already fallen off the chair once at the cafeteria and he apparently hadn't been ashamed enough _once_ ).

Without missing a beat, Ushijima grabbed Kuroo with one hand before he could land on his face and straightened him up, the middle-blocker sighing wishfully. The Super Ace stared at him, shaking his head.

"I don't understand why you're not asking her out." He said.

"Because… then it'd stop! I don't know! I don't know why but I don't know how to ask her out… I don't even know if I'm ready for a serious relationship anyway… or if she is…" He mumbled, straightening up.

"You're going to have something eventually, you keep getting more and more distracted _all_ the time. I don't know how you can be so suave and awkward in the same time. How come you're popular with girls?" Bokuto asked with a shake of his head.

"Because girls love awkward, suave men."

"You're like a cat," Ushiwaka remarked.

"You're gonna have to be a little more original than that, my dear Ushiwaka-chan~! I've been called a cat my whole life, and especially since I've been at Nekoma. Y'know, the team of _cats_."

"Don't call me that."

"Oikawa calls you that."

"Oikawa isn't listening when I tell him to not call me that."

"Then, I won't listen either~!"

"…What I meant by you being like a cat is that, as Bokuto said, you're suave but awkward. A cat is nimble and stealthy, always landing back on his feet, but when it comes to, let's say, hunting, they only move their butts for a ridiculous jump of twenty centimetres, or they hide under a carpet and you'll still see their tail, or they'll hide behind a screen but you'll see their entire paw reaching to steal some cream. They're stealthy when they shouldn't, but they're ridiculous when they try to be."

"…I can't tell if you're complimenting or insulting me." Kuroo said.

"What Ushiwaka is trying to say is that you're wasting time to get ready when it's not _that_ much of a scary jump forward!" Bokuto cleared up, making Kuroo blink, "After Kohaku, of course you're freaking out over having another relationship, but it's obvious you want one like a cat wants cream. You're not discreet _at all_ about it. And maybe all you need is face Akane and figure out what sort of relationship you two want!"

Kuroo thought about it. Perhaps… he should try to face Akane eventually. It's been over a week and a half since their night together and they still hadn't figured out what their relationship should be, especially not after the intense kiss in the hall. That no one knew about but Akane and himself.

Later that day, Kuroo went in advance in the chemistry classroom for the afternoon's experiment. He arrived when no one else was there yet. Well, no one but…

"Oh…" He said when he saw Akane at her usual desk.

She looked up, opening and closing her lips before smiling and looking down once again to read her notes. He silently went to his desk, on the opposite side, and tried to be as studious, but he couldn't focus on his notes. He glanced at her and caught her staring at him already. He flushed and she startled, quickly looking down. He looked away as well but then, when he turned around, she did the same. Even separated by meters of emptiness, they could feel the other hold their breaths, eyes burning.

They turned away from each other, trying to focus, but unable to.

 _I should talk to her… just a little… ask her… something innocent… like… if she likes me or something?_ He thought, trying to gather the courage to do so.

He coughed a little, awkward, and stood up, taking his notebook with him.

"Hey… uh… have you… understood that part?" He asked, thinking he was smooth when he pointed at a random part of his notebook.

Akane glanced up quickly at him, stunned he'd ask her something about sciences. She smiled lightly, thinking about how much they had changed since high-school, even if it wasn't that long ago…

She quickly checked in her notes, before explaining to him what he already knew, but he pretended he was very seriously listening to her because he was interested in what she was saying. He was interested all right, but just in the sound of her voice and the brightness of her eyes as she explained passionately.

"You know… I can't stop thinking about what you told me the other day…" Akane finally said.

"Eh? What did I say?" He asked, blinking as she stood up to be on the same level as him, despite the height difference.

She was almost pressed against him by standing up right where she was. He didn't move away. She hesitated but stayed there. They could feel each other's warmth and when their eyes met, their skin was run over by electricity.

"That back in high-school, you thought I was better than you. I might not have been as good as you think, considering I only aimed to beat you."

"But you did it so easily… I might be good in sciences but… I'm not a genius either. Unlike you." He admitted, a bad taste in his mouth – his pride being swallowed back was painful.

She smiled softly, as if amused at the memory of their constant banters back in high-school. Then her smile grew bigger and he felt enchanted by the gentleness her lips held.

"It made me very happy… no one had ever given me such a compliment…"

"Well… the most beautiful thing about you is your mind and intelligence… So rich and breathtaking." He admitted, his golden eyes getting lost in her reddish ones.

She was genuinely surprised he had said such a thing, and that he believed it. Her eyes sparkled but then, something flashed. Something sad and dark. She looked down, her smile wavering.

"Is… is this why you kissed me the other day?" He asked, leaning down to try to catch sight of her eyes and emotions, "Because you were grateful for my compliment?"

"No! I wouldn't kiss you just out of gratefulness… I… I just… I couldn't control myself back then…" She admitted, blushing and turning away from him.

Tetsurou kept staring at her and hesitated. His fingers brushed hers. She trembled and tried to ignore his touch as he slowly, teasingly ran his fingers over her hand and forearm. He didn't even realize his body was brushing hers, almost pressed against her back until he leaned down, breathing her perfume and his lips brushing her ear. Akane sighed, almost leaning back against him as her eyes closed.

"What… what are you doing…?" She asked breathlessly.

As she asked that, she turned her head to the side, almost instinctively reaching for Tetsurou's lips. He breathed out heavily, fighting himself to not crush his lips against hers. Then, he looked into her eyes and he saw it. The _something_ he had noticed before. Somehow, he knew she could see it reflected in his eyes.

"I… just can't control myself…" He whispered, echoing her words.

Her lips trembled, as if trying to say something and stop him, eyes half-closed and drunken by the taste of his breath. Tetsurou brushed his lips against hers and their eyes closed. She kissed him back but just like their very first kiss, it was slow and tender. She opened her lips and they deepened the kiss to let the passion come forth. Her hand came up, caressing his cheek as his hands rested on her hips.

Separating to breath, there was a moment of quietness when they listened to their hearts beating fast and warm. They looked into each other's eyes and just like the first kiss, they knew there was no going back and they were making the conscious choice of going for another kiss, another touch. They knew where this was going, they were both scared of it, but they went anyway, unable to control their hearts or desire.

Slowly, Akane turned around, completely surrendering to his lips as he kissed her again, pressing their bodies together. Gently, Tetsurou let his hands wandered down her legs and he lifted her up, sitting her up on the desk so they could be on the same level. They kissed more and more, their hands caressing and gripping. He started kissing her neck just as her hands went to his belt, starting to pull at it and the door opened.

The discussions of their classmates stopped just as Tetsurou and Akane pulled away suddenly, the girl jumping down. They were red and what they had been doing was pretty obvious, but they totally pretended that Akane was teaching him something that involved the _theoretical_ aspect of chemistry, instead of the _physical_ one they had been practicing just now.

"A-and that's the wrong formula, so that's why you… couldn't do it…" She said, pointing at a random line in their two notebooks.

"Right… thanks!" He said, nodding with a smile.

They glanced at each other and not knowing what to do, he awkwardly patted her shoulder before crossing the room to reach back his desk. It escaped no one that he discreetly pulled at his too-tight pants.

 _Fuck_ … He thought to himself, sitting so no one would notice the embarrassing bulge.

Their classmates, not surprised, just filled the seats, sharing on social groups with the rest of the class what had happened. But they weren't a couple yet, so the bet was still on-going.

" _Fuck_ …" Akane whispered under her breath, legs shaking as she sat down.

Akane and Tetsurou didn't glance once during the entire class, mostly because they knew that if they made this mistake, they wouldn't be able to hold back from running to each other and settling down their desire.

After that class, everyone dispersed and Tetsurou quickly lost sight of Akane. Sighing and cursing himself once again without quite knowing why, he walked to go home. But half-way there, the clouds he hadn't even noticed started letting down a heavy rain. A little of thunder and lightning made it all pour down even worse and he ran back to the building to not get drenched – or his _notes_ ruined. He arrived in the building in the same time as the old lady of the second floor who was getting in the elevator. He swiftly jumped into it, surprising her but just as the door was about to close, a hand stopped it and automatically, the doors opened enough to let another person in.

Tetsurou and Akane faced each other, stunned and drenched. Their eyes roamed over each other's bodies, seen through the wet clothes. And the electricity between them was as powerful as the electricity in the air from the storm.

Coughing a little, she went next to him as the doors closed and the elevator went up. While the old lady was talking about how sudden the storm had been and how it made her bones ached, Tetsurou and Akane glanced at each other. Their fingers found each other, teasing again, their lips aching to press together once again.

The second-floor stop and the old lady started to go off. Slowly, ridiculously slowly. Getting a little impatient, Tetsurou held the door for her and helped her with her groceries and after agonizingly long seconds, the doors closed again.

Akane and Tetsurou jumped on each other, already hot and bothered from what had happened in the classroom earlier. They kissed ferociously, passionately, the tenderness of earlier replaced by devouring hunger. He lifted her up against the wall of the elevator, rubbing against her, moans and growls escaping their lips as she bit on his ear and gripped his hair.

The doors to their floor opened and Akane cried out. She hit Tetsurou so hard he stumbled backwards but before he could scream anything, he realized that there was someone from their floor staring at them with wide eyes. They turned red and hurried out of the elevator, pretending that nothing had happened. They hurried for a few meters then when they heard the doors of the elevator close, they sighed in relief and looked at each other. They slowed down but were almost at their doors. Tetsurou hooked his fingers with hers and pulled her against his body, kissing again, the same passion ignited between them. He stumbled with his keys, Akane urging him on impatiently and finally, they almost fell into the apartment, dropping bags and the first layers of clothes within seconds.

Akane pushed him against the wall, kissing his jaw and neck and pulling at his shirt until she could lay kisses all over his chest. He sighed as she knelt down, starting to pull at his belt. He grabbed her shoulders, surprising her, to force her up. He kissed her again. He needed more right now. He needed _her_ and her warmth.

Kissing again, even though Akane seemed surprised by his decision to skip directly to bed activities, they took off the last of their clothes, their hot bodies pressed together and already craving for more. Tetsurou carried her and laid her down on his bed, quickly kissing her again and penetrating her.

They both sighed in relief, feeling so good they were dizzy. Akane let her head fall backwards, a shiver making her body tremble while her nails dug into his shoulders. He moved into her, kissing her jaw, already moaning and growling. He accelerated and her hips met his, they knew they wouldn't last but they didn't care, just needing release. They'll have plenty of time afterwards to take their sweet time.

"T-Tetsurou…" She whispered.

She was saying his first name again. All was well in the world again.

She grabbed his face, pulling him to her and whispered into his lips, an ecstatic laugh escaping her lips:

"W-we're having sex…!" She said, not quite believing it.

Realization hit him and he laughed, the same happy, bubbly laugh that had bewildered him before.

"I-I know!" He exclaimed, laughing.

"And we're sober!" She added.

"I _know!"_

She bit on her lower lip and he kissed her passionately. They accelerated, moaning and holding onto each other desperately as they came suddenly but strongly. Left breathless and stunned, numb by the fulfilling sensation, they breathed into each other's mouths for a moment. Their bodies were still entwined into each other. The only sounds they could hear were their breaths and the beating of their hearts against each other's chests.

Tetsurou looked down and saw in her eyes the exact same emotions of confusion and amazement at everything going on between them that he felt right now. Akane moved first, kissing hungrily and within seconds she had managed to turn him around to ride him.

And while the storm was raging outside, they made love to each other like the world was ending. _Their_ world and everything they had thought was ending, but a new world was opening up to them.

A few hours later, exhausted and spent, they were laying in bed, forced to be pressed together by how small it was. And maybe they didn't mind that much. Tetsurou hesitated before sliding an arm around her waist, kissing her shoulder. He threw her a hesitant glance, she didn't pull away but she seemed to freeze.

"…What have we done?" She asked in a murmur, looking frightened.

"Quite a few sinful things which might have gotten us a ticket straight for hell in the afterlife but… it was worth it." He answered with a smirk, lifting up on one elbow to look down at her.

She didn't seem amused and sat up. He looked down, lips tight as she sighed deeply, but didn't seem to mind being naked in front of him at this point.

"I don't want that." She said, turning to look at him.

"…Are you referring to hell? Or what we just did? If it's the second… _ouch_." He said, starting to feel irked that every time they did anything, she'd run away.

Akane shook her head, cheeks red but he couldn't tell if it was because she was flustered or angry. He noticed that she had had this expression when talking to him for years. He had never considered back then the option that it might be caused by her heart leaping wildly into her chest.

"Playing this game of cat and mouse… I-I can't afford to be in a relationship, Tetsurou… I can't be with you. I don't want of a flimsy relationship that's going to get us hurt and might mess up our studies. It's important for me." She said, still shaking her head.

"It's important for me too… but… isn't it messing up our studies just flirting or avoiding each other? You can't deny there's something between us that's a little distracting when we're in the same room." Tetsurou continued, sitting up.

She looked away, biting down on her lower lip in hesitation. She couldn't deny that the more time she spent not being with Tetsurou, the more she couldn't focus on classes. He was terribly distracting and now that she had seen him without his clothes on, it'd be even _more_ distracting.

An idea suddenly hit her and she hesitated, but he sent her an encouraging look:

"How about… just doing that?" She asked, looking at their naked bodies and shrugging.

He raised an eyebrow:

"You mean… just sex?"

She shrugged as answer, but threw a glance his way that was too much to handle.

They were scared of falling in love. They didn't know what was going on between them. They didn't want of a relationship that might become too much. They didn't want to mess up their studies, either with a relationship, or with accumulated lust.

"So… sex friends? No strings attached?" He said, pondering the option.

"For now, it's the best option… right? Just good sex and no feelings to mess with our brains." She said.

"…Do you really think that no feeling _is_ possible?" Tetsurou asked doubtfully.

"As soon as either of us feel more than desire… we say it and we stop. Before it's too late. It'll keep us from getting hurt afterwards." Akane said, staring at him, waiting for his answer.

 _Not getting hurt… great sex… no freaking out about what's going on_ … He thought before smirking.

"Damn, I love how you think." He said.

She smiled and leaned down for a kiss and _more_ now that they knew what the heck they were.

No problem in the future, just sex and no feeling that might get them hurt. It was the best option. But for great chemistry students, they hadn't considered that, eventually, "love" might be part of the equation.

BONUS

 _A few hours later…_

Bokuto knocked at Kuroo's door, worried that he had missed practice and wasn't answering his phone. It opened but Bokuto blinked:

"Man, what the fuck? Why are you naked?" He asked pointing at the pillow in front of Kuroo's crotch.

"Well…"

"You didn't answer your phone and missed practice! What the heck happened?!" He exclaimed, casually entering the apartment.

He froze when he saw Akane laying on Kuroo's bed, completely naked and not embarrassed to be seen like that by Bokuto.

"Hi~! Care to join us, Bokuto?" She proposed with a wave of her fingers and a wink.

Bokuto's face was so hilarious that Kuroo couldn't help but lean down, laughing his _butt-naked_ ass off. Bokuto blushed and covered his face:

"What the fuck?!" He shouted.

"Yeah… _that_ happened and I got a little distracted~" Kuroo answered.

"You're crazy! You're– _you!_ You know what?! You'll tell me later! I'm off!" Bokuto shouted, turning around and making a bee-line for the door that he slammed behind him while Kuroo and Akane were still laughing.

* * *

 _You are totally thinking things through and not going to fuck it up, Kuroo and Akane. Totally great idea._

 _Anyway, have I mentioned that in the last chapter of haikyuu Kuroo was canonically called 'hot' by other students from the school and I'm so darn happy that Furudate acknowledged it?_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : NO FEELING- FUCK._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	14. No Feeling– fuck

_Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **Lovelybaka** : Bien sûr que non ils vont pas tenir, ils sont tellement amoureux et ils sont les seuls à ne pas s'en rendre compte! XD Merci beaucoup pour tes encouragements et j'espère que tu aimes Sowlmates tout autant en relisant! ;) _

_**lapizlazulijavi** : How cruel, I wouldn't get Oikawa slapped. Fate is cruel enough with him as it is, lol. On the contrary, I think that Wakatoshi is so blulnt and honest that, once he'd realise his feelings, he wouldn't waste time to confess and say very clearly what he wants and expects of a relationship. ;)_

 _ **nvzeey** : I think you are going to enjoy it even more in this chapter~! ;)_

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : I'm so sorry! XD Just expect the same content in this chapter, just so you know! ;)_

 _ **booklover2098** : Yep, totally right! Your words could be Bokuto's or Oikawa's! XD_

 _ **WARNING : Once again, explicit and detailed smut** (for the ones with little ones who might see around ;D)_

 _Songs: **"TOUCH AND GO" Ed Sheeran and "WILD LOVE" James Bay**_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XIV : No Feeling– fuck.

" _While I agree in the smallest, I wouldn't have it any other way. He has made me feel in ways I never knew existed. Tidal wave emotions and avalanche explosions. He lit tempers in me. He taught me how to fly with no wings and heavy gravity."_

— **Kayla Marcia**

" _I would've kissed you anytime_

 _Anyplace,_

 _Anywhere._

 _We're young lovers,_

 _With simply nothing to worry about but to be young and love and care."_

— **Unknown**

" _I will remember the kisses our lips raw with love and how you gave me everything you had and how I offered you what was left of me."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _Her body existed only where he touched her. The rest of her was smoke."_

— **Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things**

" _With such a hell in your heart and your head, how can you live? How can you love?"_

— **Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Brothers Karamazov**

" _I don't like to feel so crazy about someone. I don't like to feel like my happiness is so tied up in another person."_

— **Gabrielle Zevin, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac**

" _I never knew that you'd become a different you because of my loving you. But I hope you know that you can be the old you whenever you want, because I still love that one, too."_

— **Bruce Adler**

" _I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever."_

— **Andy Warhol**

" _Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power."_

— **Oscar Wilde**

" _She wanted to bottle up how safe she felt in this moment, so she could drink it later when loneliness and fear left her parched."_

— **Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale**

" _The strongest drug that exists for a human is another human being."_

— **Unknown**

" _I want you next to me, in my bed, your clothes making friends with my floor. Love me hard enough so we wake up the neighbors."_

— **Nishat Ahmed, Literary Sexts**

" _Let me breathe you in and intoxicate my lungs. Ruin me, oh so beautifully, from the inside out. Take my lungs and make them your home. Let my heart feel your poison through its blood stream."_

— **Chevon Khalil Crawford**

" _I'm obsessed with you. Utterly, willingly and wonderfully so."_

— **Michael Faudet**

" _All of us are better when we are loved."_

— **Alistair MacLeod, No Great Mischief**

" _Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can't always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith."_

— **Lauren Kate, Torment**

"So… you're sex-friends, then?" Bokuto concluded, staring in disbelief at Tetsurou.

"Yeah!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.

Bokuto, Oikawa and Ushijima glanced at each other, not looking much enchanted by their friend's decision.

"You heard that, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked over the phone he was holding for his friend in Miyagi so he could participate in the conversation that seemed too important to pass.

" _Yeah. You're a dumbass."_

"You heard him," Oikawa said with a victorious look on his face.

"Come on! Don't judge me! I know you all think that whatever is going between Akane and I is more than that, but we don't want of a relationship! No strings attached is perfect! We settle down our sexual drive _and_ we don't mess with our feelings! It's exactly what we want!"

" _I don't see how difficult it is to just say you've got feelings and want to go out with Akane."_ Iwaizumi added.

"Funny coming from you who spent so long before confessing to Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa teased.

" _Stop it with that, will you?"_

"We're talking about _Kuroo_ right now!" Bokuto exclaimed, apparently a little frustrated by how the situation had turned out, "Why did you agree with her when she proposed it?! It was so stupid! You had the chance to _be WITH her!"_

"I did exactly as you said! I faced her and we talked about the sort of relationship we wanted! _That's_ what we want and it's going great so far!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands to the ceiling.

"That's not what I meant! I meant a real relationship!"

"Whatever, they have a relationship and now he'll stop being distracted at practice. If this is what he wants, let him do as he wishes. He'll face the consequences of his choice eventually." Ushijima finally said, cutting the argument to an end.

"Thank _you!"_ Kuroo exclaimed, patting Ushiwaka's shoulder.

He only nodded and despite Bokuto still grumbling because he wanted them to be a _real_ couple, nothing else was said on the topic.

They weren't exactly trying to tell anyone about it, but their classmates found out eventually and after several people faced them about their relationship status, Tetsurou and Akane admitted they were sex-friends and nothing else. For some unknown reason, the group of classmates seemed particularly frustrated about the 'nothing else' part.

 _A few days later…_

Tetsurou was getting dressed, belt clicking as he looked over his shoulder and watched Akane sleeping deeply after the night they had spent together. Quietly, he went to the other side of the apartment, putting on his shoes. Hearing a quiet meow, he looked down and bent down to scratch behind the ears the kitten that was growing bigger and stronger. He heard a sigh and moan and Akane blinked her eyes open.

In the light coming from in-between the curtains, she saw Tetsurou, his hair messier than ever, smiling as he brushed his hand over the kitten. She smiled but quickly hid it as she turned around, raising just enough to show him she was awake.

"You're leaving early," she noticed.

"I have to go for a run," he answered, looking up at her.

"Mmm…"

"You know, you'll have to give this one a name eventually…" He said, nodding at the kitten and standing up.

"…I still can't think of anything… Do you have any idea?"

"He's _your_ cat, not mine."

She wanted him to stay a little longer, to talk a little more but after a quick wave from the door, he disappeared. Sighing, she dropped back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and feeling cold without Tetsurou beside her in the bed. Not that she needed his presence particularly, he was just… warm and nice. That was it.

"Just sex, no feeling," she told herself in a low voice.

An impatient meow reminded her she needed to feed the kitten, still unnamed.

After deciding to become sex-friends, no feelings, no strings attached, things were so easy for Tetsurou and Akane. They didn't get troubled, trying to figure out what they felt, why or what to do about it. They wanted to have sex together, they enjoyed it and that was enough, the rest was complementary.

They still went to classes, they weren't troubled by anything unnecessary, they studied, they went to practice or work. And they had plenty of steamy sex. Nothing could be any better.

"I found a name for the kitten," Akane said someday at lunch.

Tetsurou looked at her curiously, then swallowed what he was munching on.

They weren't having lunch together as a _couple_ , they were just having lunch together as _classmates_. Just the two of them, in a corner of the university, out of sight of most people except a few people passing by. From an outside point of view, they _seemed_ like a couple but they _weren't_ – just sex-friends, they kept repeating themselves.

"And what is it?" He asked.

"NeCo." She said with a smile.

"…You called your cat 'cat'?" Tetsurou asked with an exasperated expression.

"No, NeCo! N-e-capital C-o."

He blinked, staring at her, not seeing how it changed anyth–

"Ooooh!" He exclaimed excitedly, eyes sparkling when he figured it out, " _Neon and Cobalt!_ Did you call your cat after the symbols of the Neon and Cobalt elements of the periodic table?! It's so cool!"

" _That_ , and also… their atomic number," she said, grinning to see him so excited.

"Neon is 10 and Cobalt is… um, 27, right?" He asked, thinking about it a little more, then his eyes lit up, "Your birthday! October 27th!" He exclaimed.

She chuckled and he felt enchanted by the sight, heart beating excitedly by the name she had given her kitten.

They continued their lunch, laughing about their favourite science jokes and for anyone looking at them, they were a cute, nerdy couple.

After lunch, he had his driving lesson and around the time he was finished and on his way home, he received a message from Akane.

 **My place before you're off to practice?**

The only messages they exchanged now that they had each other's numbers were vague hours and meeting places – so they could kiss and embrace and do everything they dreamt to do.

 **On my way~ You really can't get enough of me, do you~?** He answered teasingly, a happy step taking him faster.

 **Shut up.**

When he arrived at the building and knocked at her door, she opened almost immediately, grabbing his shirt and pulling him inside. He leaned down, a kiss quickly heating up into more. Her hands went under his shirt, caressing the firm muscles while he was taking off his jacket and shoes. Almost immediately, his hands went to her sides, massing and rubbing against her sides then going up until he could press his fingers against her spine, where her tattoo was. She shivered, he moaned. They never stopped kissing passionately, not having enough of each other's taste.

Pulling away for air, Tetsurou took off her shirt and looked down at her breasts. His hands burnt to cup them but he took off his own shirt in a quick move that left Akane breathless. She unzipped and stepped out of her pants, her curvaceous body making Tetsurou's mouth go a little dry as he admired her from head to toe.

They stared at each other for a moment before Akane pressed her hands on his pectorals and pushed him against the wall. She kissed his jaw, neck and slowly went down, leaving peppering, burning kisses all over his chest, not hesitating to suck and bite, knowing he loved it. With experienced hands, she took off his belt and pulled down his pants, starting by teasing him through his boxers.

"You know, as lovely a sight as you are, kneeling like that at my feet, I thought you were the one who asked me to come over? I had assumed _you_ were in need of _my_ performances~?" He said, voice a little tight from her touch.

She looked up at him from under her eyelashes, a teasing smile on her red lips.

"Oh, I _am_ , but I need to get you started before that." She said, her mouth going onto his bulge through the boxers.

He closed his eyes. Even through the fabric of his boxers, she managed to use her tongue and hands so well, he was already seeing stars. He was so hard it was difficult to not tear off his boxers _and_ the rest of her underwear.

Akane pulled away, hands caressing his muscular legs, nails digging a little to get him more sensitive. Then she pulled off his boxers, caressing his cock for a few seconds before her tongue teased him on his entire length. She sighed in delight at the warmth and the erotic scent of Tetsurou. But he was still mostly silent and she wanted him groaning and moaning her name. she took him in, just a little at first, using her tongue and her hand, and when he started to glare at her in frustration she took him in completely. Tetsurou's breathing became a little more difficult as he watched her red lips and experienced hand giving him the blowjob of his life. Her other hand kept caressing the inside of his thighs – he had never realized he was so sensitive there, _fuck_.

Still as proud as ever, Tetsurou tried not to growl and hold back but eventually, and faster than he'd wish for, she effectively managed to get him to let his head fall back, eyes closing as he felt himself getting even bigger and hotter in her mouth. She moaned in answer to his growls as his hand reached for her short hair. He tried to control his hold but within seconds, urged on by his reaction, Akane drove him close to his first orgasm. He didn't want to come so soon, especially knowing that he needed to take care of her and, they had to watch the clock. So he used his hold on her hair to, regretfully, pull her away and up.

Akane gasped at the sudden gesture and her gasp turned into a squeal when she met his eyes. A burning gold as he looked down at her, lips still trembling from her blowjob.

"Your turn," he growled and she felt her insides clench delightfully.

He pushed her against the wall, the huff escaping her lips quickly smothered by his mouth kissing her deeply, tasting himself on her but not enough. While he kissed her, he lifted up her leg and he rolled his entire body against hers, pressed between his body and the wall. She moaned when his length rubbed on her heat. He could already feel her wetness even through the panties. He switched to kissing her neck, making sure not to leave too-obvious hickeys, but driving her crazy enough that she suddenly held onto him, one hand digging into his shoulder, the other grabbing his hair desperately. She moaned, this time into his ear and his lips tilted up proudly. He went down, and down, and down, keeping the right pace between deliciously slow and frantically fast. She was already moaning and grabbing his hair before he was even on his knees and attacked her pussy. She gasped, legs almost slamming around his head as he sucked on her clitoris through the thin fabric of her panties.

Without waiting any longer, he pulled it off then buried his face into her wet, loving warmth, hands on her hips then caressing her legs. He growled as he tasted her, almost dripping for him, and she kept moaning, eyes closed and biting on her lower lip. His hands caressed her legs then lifted up one he put on his shoulder to have a better access, fingers digging into her thighs as her hand pulled at his hair, urging him on.

Without warning, he accelerated the rhythm of his tongue-fucking and sucking, her moans turning into a series of breathless gasps, her body writhing against the wall, pushing her hips closer into her mouth.

"A-ah! F-fuck! T-Tetsurou ! Y-you're gonna… you're gonna make me come!" She exclaimed, voice shaking and cut by her gasps of delight.

She tried pulling at his hair to get him away, all the while trying to press closer to him, not even knowing what she wanted anymore, her mind turning blank.

"I need you inside me…! _Now!"_ She exclaimed.

It was all Tetsurou needed to hear to pull away, face entirely covered in her love juices.

He stood up quickly, but not without leaving wet kisses all over her body and pulling off her bra to cup her breasts quickly. But as soon as he was face-to-face with her, he kissed her, her tongue searching for his into his mouth. They were too out of breath to kiss as long as before but he entered her in a quick move that made them gasp and groan. Once again, he lifted up her leg to rest on his side, her hands going against his neck and into his hair as he moved in and out of her relentlessly.

"Aaaah…"

"Don't stop…" She moaned, hiding her face into his neck as he continued to thrust into her.

He felt her legs start to tremble, from the pleasure and the effort of being on her tiptoe of only one leg. So he switched a little the position, she kept her leg wrapped around his waist but with one hand holding her by the waist, he used the other to cup her breasts. His proficient fingers teased her nipples as he lowered himself to kiss her collarbone and breasts, sucking and biting until she was growling his name, voice getting higher and higher.

Slowly losing it, he straightened up again, penetrating her deeper, faster. His own voice was coming out in raspy gasps. The only thing that mattered was the electrifying sensation slowly taking over their entire bodies, shooting through their legs and arms, warmth spreading from their meeting hips.

Akane cried out, letting her head fall backwards, her nails digging into his neck. She was getting close but he _knew_ just what to do to make her fall over the edge. And he'd fall along with her. He let out a heavy breath, sweating profusely as he got ready for the final set. One hand grabbed her hip hard enough to leave bruises, the other, her thigh; and his hips thrusted faster, harder until she could barely keep up with his moves.

"A-ah! T-Tetsurou! AAH!"

She came hard, mind imploding to nothing. Feeling her sudden tightness got Tetsurou to come, his body suddenly pressed against her as he gave the last few thrusts, growling into her neck, teeth biting hard.

They remained still and silent for a moment, only hearing and feeling their hearts beating fast, drops of sweat rolling down their still joined bodies…

Akane was holding tightly onto Tetsurou, still shaking from her high, held up by his arms and the wall.

Slowly, he moved a little and let her leg drop back on the ground but she got even more shaky and almost dropped on the floor. He went out of her warmth, their mixed love juices rolling down her thighs.

They breathed hard, still half-leaning over one another, still holding onto the wall.

"How do you do that…?" She whispered, feeling exhausted from just this one session.

He chuckled, kissing lazily her neck and she closed her eyes, hands coming against his back.

"You know you love it…" He murmured, nuzzling his nose against her hair while her hands were brushing softly the skin of his back.

They seemed to realize that they were close to cuddling because their gentle cuddling slowed down, got awkward and finally stopped. They pulled away, staring at each other for a short moment, blushing more now than for what they had just done.

"I… uh, I should go… to not be late at practice…" He murmured awkwardly, looking away from her eyes.

"R-right…"

"So…"

He finally left her, both suddenly feeling cold.

He bent down to retrieve his clothes and quickly got dressed, knowing he'll have to hop into a quick shower before going to practice – he reeked of sex and everyone would figure out what he had done just before coming there.

"That was… _great_ …" He said as Akane just watched him, still leaning against the wall.

She nodded wordlessly, licking her lips before looking away.

"I should go, then." He decided before things would get any more awkward between them.

Tetsurou glanced over his shoulder another time before closing the door, just long enough to see that Akane, leaning naked against the wall, looked as troubled as he was.

Just sex, no feelings, they had decided. But _damn_ , was it hard to keep it together when their hearts seemed to pull for one another as strongly as their lust was growing stronger.

The moment Tetsurou disappeared, Akane lowered her head, sighing deeply and letting herself fall onto the ground, hiding her face in her knees.

"Fuck…" She murmured, shaking, and this time, not because of the intensity of their sex.

Tetsurou arrived at practice refreshed, even though his mind was in more turmoil than he could handle, and his hair was messier than he wished for.

"How you're doing?" Bokuto asked.

"Fine, fine…" He answered absent-mindedly, pulling out his clothes from his bag.

Bokuto stared at him for a long time, with a firm gaze, attracting Oikawa's attention on Kuroo as well:

"Is it me or you smell clean?" Bokuto asked, leaning closer to Kuroo and sniffing him.

Kuroo pulled away, holding back the reflex of trying to punch him to not get any closer.

"What the fuck? I always smell clean!" He exclaimed, mildly offended.

"No, I meant, you smell like you just got out of the shower."

"And your hair is still wet," Oikawa remarked, touching a strand of his hair that was sticking out from his usual bed hair.

Kuroo pulled away, slapping his hand and he stepped away from their inquiring gazes.

"What is wrong with you two today?" He asked, frowning.

"You were off when you arrived. Did something happen with Akane?" Bokuto asked teasingly.

Kuroo finally understood why Bokuto was being so weird, and had dragged Oikawa along in the _creepy-touchy_ friends zone. But instead of acknowledging his heart fluttering in his chest, to hide his emotions, he jerked his head backwards and laughed:

"Yeah! Something _mindblowing_ , if you get what I mean~!" He said, with a wink before continuing to change.

"Ah. That explains the day-time shower, then." Bokuto murmured.

"Geh! Your neck!" Oikawa exclaimed after Kuroo had taken off his shirt.

And before he could have time to do anything, his two _creepy-peeky_ friends were staring at the nape of his neck, where Akane's nails had left marks.

"Wow, that must have been intense," Oikawa commented.

"…Can you stop staring at me now?" Kuroo mumbled.

"What's wrong? You usually gloat when people stare at you, either because you think you're hot or because you're making a fool of yourself." Bokuto continued, narrowing his eyes once again at Kuroo who quickly put on his training shirt.

"Because! I'm not in the mood to be creeped at by two boys who don't know how to keep their noses out of _my_ business!" He mumbled, hurrying to finish getting dressed to avoid any more embarrassing question.

Bokuto and Oikawa glanced at each other and he sat down on the bench to put on his shoes. They seemed to discuss and agree to something in silence, then looked down once again at Kuroo with teasing smirks:

"So~! It means something _has_ happened to put you in such a mood, uh~?" Oikawa concluded, putting his hands over his hips and leaning down towards him.

Kuroo started leaning away, narrowing his eyes at the clever setter.

"I was right then~! What sort of business is it about~?" Bokuto added, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning like Oikawa was doing.

Kuroo tried to lean even further away, but almost fell off the bench because of the observant spiker. He cursed under his breath, looking away from them, flushing a little then sighing deeply.

"It _is_ about Akane, isn't it? You've been doing 'great' being sex friends these past two weeks, so what happened now? Regretting your lack of commitment and feelings? _I knew it_ …" Bokuto said, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

"Stop thinking that there is something going on between Akane and I! We're fine being just sex friends!" He exclaimed, standing up suddenly and startling the two shorter men, "I don't regret anything and everything is fine!"

"You're falling more and more for her, aren't you?" Oikawa asked with a knowing smile.

Tetsurou froze, staring with wide eyes at Oikawa. Then he blushed violently and turned his head away, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, as if hoping it'd help him feel less flustered.

"I'm… I'm not… Nothing special has happened to provoke anything to evolve between us so there's no way…"

His voice trailed off and Ushijima, who had been listening all along but was keeping his distance from their usual mayhem, spoke up:

"You don't need anything special for love to happen, it just happens."

They all turned towards him, surprised by his words of wisdom when he didn't have any love experience, to their knowledge. Bokuto nodded vividly, pointing at Ushiwaka then repeating the sentence until Kuroo and Oikawa, both feeling particularly flustered by this simple truth, felt like strangling the owl with his knee-pads. In Tetsurou's case, it was because he just couldn't help but feel more and more of whatever-was-this-feeling he felt for Akane, every day he spent by her side, whether it was for crossing paths in a school hall or an entire night together. And for Oikawa, it hit close to home because of his growing feelings for Shiori, feelings he was desperately trying to bury for various reasons. Love just couldn't be helped.

 _No feelings, no feelings… we can do it, with no feelings_ … Tetsurou told himself as he followed his friends on court. _Fuck, is it possible when I already had feelings for her before?_

Tetsurou didn't see Akane for two days after their last intense fuck. He wasn't sure if she was avoiding him, or he was avoiding her, but they barely saw or looked at each other. But still, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Not only for obvious reasons such as his feelings and lust for her, but also, and mostly, because he was worried that their almost-cuddle might have ruined what they had. What if she had decided it was too much and had put an end to their sex-friendship? Without even telling him? What if he had freaked her out? He was freaking out a little as well, probably _overthinking_ too…

So, after two days, unable to bear it any more, needing to talk to her, to see her, and following his friends' advices, he sent her a message.

" _Listen well!"_ Oikawa had told him, proud he was giving love advice for ~Kuroo _lady-killers_ Tetsurou~, _"You're sex-friends, right? So, just pretend you need her for something innocent! If she answers quickly, it means it's a good sign! If she answers positively, do your thing, and maybe if you feel like there's anything to talk about, you'll do it after! If she answer negatively though… well, good luck!"_

Tetsurou wasn't sure it was truly helpful considering Oikawa never had a sex-friend, and had accumulated girlfriends without really feeling anything close to love for them, and was currently struggling as well with his own heart. But he had no one else to turn to. All his friends from Nekoma wouldn't be of any help, Ushijima as well for obvious reasons and as for Bokuto… he'd probably say something along the lines of being honest about his feelings.

 **Hey, kinda feel needy today, want to meet?** He sent, trying to make it sound casual and not desperate.

Staring at his phone, Tetsurou started to nervously shake his leg. How long was "quickly"? Oikawa hadn't said. What if she said no? What if it wasn't the best solution after all? Would it be cocky to expect anything? Even if he was used to sleep with women, he wasn't used to long-term relationship and it was the more time he had spent with a woman since Kohaku – even if it wasn't 'dating'.

He startled when his phone vibrated and he received Akane's answer.

 **Sure, I'm home.**

Grinning, he jumped up, throwing his phone aside. He quickly checked in a mirror that his hair wasn't as messy as usual, then stepped out and went to knock at Akane's door. It was actually great they were neighbours.

She opened and let him in, looking extremely tired.

"You're okay?" He asked, noticing the bags under her eyes and that she was still in pyjama.

"Yeah… sorry for not talking to you recently, but a girl fell sick at work and I had to take over her shifts… I have a three-days break though. I was catching up sleep." She explained, going to drink some tea to wake up.

"If you're tired or sleepy, we can…" He started, his voice trailing off, "Wait, so you weren't avoiding me?"

She stared at him, raising a confused eyebrow. He flushed and coughed to hide his embarrassment:

"I mean… _anyway!_ I can wait for you to be in the right mood for it, it's not that urgent and–"

"Tetsu, stop talking," she sighed, putting down her cup before advancing towards him, "You said you were needy and you've only asked me for sex twice since we started this. You must really need it if you asked me again." She said, looking up at him.

The way she looked up at him warmed his insides, the usual fire lit up between them. Without wasting any time, Akane took off her shirt, showing a burgundy bra.

"Is that what you sleep in?" Tetsurou asked, admiring her body.

"Not at night. But for naps, I have to be ready to all eventualities, right?" She said with a smile.

Her fingers twirled around the drawcord that held up her pyjama pants, slowing, sensually untying it. Then she hooked her fingers under the waistband of her pants. She lowered it just enough to show that her panties were matching her bra.

Tetsurou stared, mouth hanging open as desire built up between them. Akane smirked, amused by his expression of awe.

"I can't believe you manage to make taking off a bunny patterned pyjama a sexy show…" He murmured, still staring at the waistband of her panties, where her hip was going into a delicious curve leading to her breasts.

"How long are you going to stare? And when are you going to take it all off?" She asked in a sensual voice.

He looked into her eyes and with one quick, hurried step, he was cupping her cheeks and kissing her passionately.

 _Gods… I missed the taste of that mouth_ …They both thought, taking the time to bite the lips and dive deeply to entwine their tongue.

Akane's hands had let go of her pants to dive under his shirt, quickly lifting it up and off his chest. She started kissing his jaw and neck while Tetsurou's hands wandered over her sides. He teased her by running his fingers under her waistband, almost tickling the sides of her hips where her panties were. She distracted herself by taking off his own belt and forcing him to step out of his pants fallen at his ankles. She started going down, which was what she always did to get him going before they started their business. But not this time.

Tetsurou tightened his hold onto her sides and forced her against his chest, making her gasp by how sudden the gesture had been. He cupped her behind while she breathed against his chest, looking up, a little stunned by his gesture. They stared at each other, not kissing, touching possessively and so many more lustful sins passing in their eyes. Their eyes held the same challenge as they had for years whenever they were competing against each other. Now, though, they were competing to who would take the lead.

Glad he had surprised her, Tetsurou didn't intend to let her attack him with her hands and lips, knowing he'd get weak. With one hand, he held her pressed against him, feeling his warm ad muscular body, while the other went in front and, without warning, pulled away her panties to let his fingers dive deep into her wet warmth.

She gasped, not having expected it, pressing her hips closer and holding onto his shoulders, digging her nails into his skin. He smirked as she breathed a little shortly from the way he used his fingers.

"How do you want it?" He asked, still staring right into her eyes and driving her crazy, with his intense gaze, his warm body and the way he moved his fingers in and out of her.

"Y-you're the one who wanted to do it… don't you know how to lead the game?" She said, cheeks turning red.

"Oh~? You think I'm not leading right now?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as he pressed his fingers against her G-point and his thumb against her clitoris in the same time.

She jumped, letting out an adorable squeak, followed by an ecstatic laugh. She almost jumped over him, to get closer. She tried to bring up her leg for better access and more stimulation but her pants and his hands under it kept it from doing so.

"I'm always leading anyway," he added with a victorious smile.

"Stop talking nonsense…" She moaned, letting her head fall backwards, " _I'm_ the one leading. I just let you believe you lead in regard to your fragile ego…" She continued, smirking.

He let his mouth fall open, hands going to a stop. She looked back up, annoyed he'd stop.

"Oh. You are _so_ gonna have it." He said, voice low and hot.

Her lips trembled and she laughed in a mix of disbelief and excitement.

Tetsurou let her go and pulled at the drawcord until her pants had no choice but to fall off with a little move of her hips. She stepped out of them as he took off all his remaining clothes. Now completely naked, he stepped towards Akane who didn't look impressed until he grabbed her by the hips and forced her around and towards the bed.

"Bend over." He growled, his large, hot hand against her back.

She didn't even hesitate, bending over as he requested, a little excited by his sudden change in behaviour. That was how she had always imagined sex with Tetsurou would be like – instead he had been so sweet and passionate until now.

He almost ripped off her panties, teasing her clitoris as he bent down so his chest was pressed against her back. Tetsurou's lips brushed against her lips, making her whole attention turn to his sultry voice.

"I was being nice to you until now, but you're gonna get it so rough you won't be able to handle it. Just so you know, _no one_ has been able to handle it so tell me when it gets to much, and if you _beg_ for mercy and release… I _might_ consider giving it to you. Understood?" He said, biting lightly her ear.

Akane's lips pulled into a wide smile as she turned her face to him, eyes burning.

" _Boy_ , there is _nothing_ you can do that will be enough to make me _beg_ …" She answered, her breath of cinnamon hitting his face.

"You _think?"_ He said with dangerously hot eyes.

She opened her lips to answer but only a gasp escaped her lips when he pushed his fingers into her pussy. He didn't go easy and was immediately pulling his fingers in and out in frenetic rhythm. Until, within seconds, she was gasping and a thin layer of sweat covered her entire body. She closed her eyes a few times and he loved seeing this expression of stunned awe on her face.

But as quickly as Tetsurou had started fingering her from behind, he stopped. She moaned, but out of annoyance this time. He straightened up and grabbed her hips with both hands and entered her so swiftly that she didn't have time to realize what was happening until she was filled with his cock. She gasped again, holding a little tighter the sheets and her legs trembled despite herself.

Tetsurou growled then started thrusting into her, fast and hard. She knew it wasn't his top-speed but he was usually keeping this pace for later, they were still at the warm-up step. If that was warm-up, she couldn't wait to get to the real deal.

She squeaked again when he hit her G-spot _on purpose_ , nails digging into her sides. She breathed heavily, letting her head lower, her arms getting tired.

"Enjoying it~?" He asked, never slowing down in his thrusts, voice a little tight.

"Mmm… but you can do better, right?" She answered, holding back from screaming "YES" at his question.

He didn't slow down nor accelerate but his hand slapped her butt cheek. She opened wide eyes, startling at the burning but agreeable sensation as she turned around. He smirked and she actually felt herself melt. Seeing Kuroo Tetsurou taking her from behind, his muscular chest covered in sweat, his messy, sexy hair, his gaze burning in lust and his handsome smile…

He slapped her butt again then changed slightly his position, lowering a little, giving longer thrusts that pressed in parts of her body she didn't even knew existed. She gasped, and gasped, and moaned, and her voice turned into an endless sound of appreciation and desire. There were moment when she was blinded by the sensations.

With one hand, Tetsurou swiftly took off her bra and within seconds, his hand was cupping her breasts in just the right way to make it even more intense and _for the first time in her life_ , she growled. Tetsurou smirked to hear her love it so much and with his hold on her breast, he raised her so her back would be flushed against his chest. He didn't slow down and even if it was harder to thrust to the same rhythm in this position it also increased the pleasure. Growling, he sucked and bit on her neck and shoulder. Akane almost screamed, and when she realised that she bit hard on her lower lip, her hands went against his and her nails dug deep.

"A-ah! F-fuck…!"

"Begging yet?" He asked, voice strained from the constant moves.

"N-never…!"

He let her go and pushed her again on top of the bed, making her squeal but instead of continuing his thrusts, he stepped away, leaving her empty and frustrated, on the edge of an orgasm. Akane stared at the wall for a moment then turned around, completely offended to know he had stopped. Tetsurou stared down at her and innocently raised his eyebrows, while his hand was taking care of his erection covered in her love juice.

"WHAT! What do you think you're going?! Get back in!" She shouted.

"Nope. Not until you're begging for it."

"You asshole!"

"I know~! But you love that about me, don't you~?" He asked with a wink.

She grabbed her nearest pillow and threw it at his face.

"Oi!" He exclaimed, looking at the pillow that had fallen on the floor.

She was smiling in amusement and started chuckling at his face. Now feeling offended, he frowned then bent down.

"W-wait!" She exclaimed, still laughing when he grabbed her by the hips.

He pulled her to him then forced her around while she tried to escape, both getting tangled on top of the bed. Akane was chuckling, and it turned into laughs when he started tickling her sides and then she was screaming insults and he was laughing, pressed together on top of the bed.

"Come on! Stop! You're going to ruin it all! You're gonna get all soft!" She exclaimed, trying to press her behind closer to his hips.

"OI!" He exclaimed, offended, _especially_ when she laughed.

To prove he was far from getting 'soft' he pressed his hard cock against her. Within seconds, the joyful, laughful atmosphere turned into a teasing, electric atmosphere. He was brushing against her until Akane was trembling under his body, face pressed into her pillow.

"C-come on… stop it… it's getting difficult for you to… make it worth it…" She murmured when she heard his own growls getting more and more intense.

"Beg for it…" He whispered against her neck, clenching his fists around the sheets.

Akane moaned then pushed her hips upwards, forcing him to move and almost managing to get him to penetrate her again. Then she moved her hips teasingly, until he was growling and had to grab her hips to stop moving.

"Fuck…" He growled.

She looked over her shoulder, biting on her lower lip in amused tenderness at his expression. She was about to tell him that _he'd_ be the one begging her but despite her pride… she couldn't bring herself to. Her heart wasn't beating just for the intensity of their love session and even though she knew she shouldn't let them grow, her feelings were too much to just ignore.

 _You really are the only one who gets me so weak_ … She thought to herself.

"Fuck me."

Tetsurou opened wide eyes, looking down at her, shocked she'd actually say that. He had been expecting an expression of complete lust but what he saw was even more shocking. She let her head rest on her crossed arms, still looking over her shoulders at him, with a tender smile and soft eyes.

His heart missed a beat and he couldn't help but smile softly as well…

"W-what?" He asked, suddenly unsure of what was happening right now.

"I said fuck me." She repeated patiently.

"…Are you begging? Is that you begging?! Really?!" He asked, suddenly sparkling in pride.

She hid her face in her pillow to smother her laughter and he was so excited he didn't notice her shoulders shaking from her laughter.

"Gods, you're such a dork… but yes!" She said, voice smothered.

" _Yes?_ Yes _what?_ Say it! Say the words!" He requested, leaning down to press his chest against her back and nuzzling his nose against her neck in a tickling manner.

She chuckled again, pulling away from him and turning so that she could push her hand against his face. He continued nuzzling his nose, against her palm this time and she kept chuckling at how adorable he could be. Even though he had been trying to be rough at first.

"Kuroo Tetsurou, I am _begging_ you to fuck me now!" She said with a huge smile.

He laughed victoriously, jerking his head backwards. She laughed, hiding her face in the pillow while he continued cheering.

As soon as he was down his cloud of pride, he looked down at her and when their eyes met, the atmosphere was once again filled with lust and electricity.

Tetsurou kissed her shoulder, tenderly, hands caressing her sides, softly. Then he penetrated and she sighed in delight as he moved in and out of her, still laying down on her bed. He was going slowly at first but then he bit her shoulder, she gasped and he accelerated. He was thrusting and pounding into her, her entire body on fire. She was gasping, breathing hard, praising him, urging him for more, her voice mixing with his growls and her name whispered again and again and again. They were both so close and they knew that the slightest thing could make them fall over the edged. No more teasing, they wanted it.

Akane was moaning and growling in her pillow, tears in her eyes to be so close but not having her relief. Her hands grabbed the sheets as she gasped sharply and she tightened the sheets so hard her joints turned white. Growling even harder and getting more desperate, Tetsurou lowered his body against hers and grabbed her hands. She gasped to feel his hands over hers, such an intimate gesture to do while having sex – something they hadn't expected but didn't think about, too desperate to come. Akane swallowed hard and moved her fingers so they entwined with Tetsurou's. His hold on her hands got stronger as he let his lips rest against her neck. She closed her eyes and he breathed hard. And even though these feelings should be forbidden between them and with their relationship, they knew that the one little attention that gave them some of the most powerful orgasms of their lives was holding hands desperately.

They came so hard and suddenly that for long seconds, they saw just white, gasping and bathed in their unwanted feelings. Then, slowly, Tetsurou collapsed against her and they remained like that for long minutes, trying to catch their breathing, their hands never letting go…

It was only when Tetsurou realized she had trouble gaining her breathing back with his weight on top of her that he moved out of her and fell on his side, still half on her.

With difficulty because their hands were still holding onto each other tightly, they let go and she rolled over so they were side by side.

They glanced at each other, blushing, then looked back up at the ceiling.

"…So?" Tetsurou asked, crossing his hands over his stomach and staring at her expectantly.

"…So what? You want a praise? A good grade?" She asked with a mocking expression.

"I made you beg, that has to count for something!" He exclaimed, frowning.

"…It was for your ego. Not your accomplishment." She said with a proud smirk.

He looked so offended she couldn't help but laugh loudly. He couldn't help but notice that he had never seen her laugh so much than recently and he loved her laugh. It always came out so loudly and unrefined, like waves of sound resonating in his body and sending warmth.

"What the–! Revenge!" He shouted, grabbing her hips for more tickles.

She laughed, in between screams to ask him to stop. Never begging, just shouting he should stop before he'd get his hair ripped off his head. It didn't stop him though.

It was only when they were back to being out of breath from their banter and tickling battle, that they stopped.

They tried to stay side-by-side, too lazy to move yet, but the bed was too small for the both of them to be comfortable. Realizing that, they glanced at each other, thinking back on the almost cuddle from the other day. The almost-cuddle that had made them feel as uncomfortable as they were feeling now… but the discomfort was slowly being smothered by the feeling of warmth and peace they felt with each other.

Never stopping from staring at each other, Tetsurou slowly lifted up his right arm, as if to put it behind his head but hesitating before doing so, looking at Akane expectantly. She hesitated before sighing lightly in defeat. She turned to the side and brought her head to rest on his shoulder, her hand resting on his chest. Their bodies now entangled, they had just the right amount of space and warmth.

They took in the feeling of peace, not wanting to admit that they felt good. Unconsciously, Akane caressed his chest as he let his arm surround her shoulders, keeping her close.

Tetsurou let his nose and lips brush the top of her head, he let his head fall against the pillows, then he smiled to himself. A smile of amazement and so full of softness he barely recognized his own soul. He had never felt this way for anyone before, he had never smiled so tenderly…

"That was… that was pretty great…" She whispered, turning lightly so her lips rested against his skin.

He chuckled, the sound resonating from his chest and into her body. She realized she loved feeling his heartbeat under her fingertips, his warmth against her body, his breathing in rhythm with hers, and his joy through his laugh.

"I _am_ getting praised, after all…" He said with a cheeky grin.

"Shut up, or I'll never do I again."

He chuckled and she buried her face against his chest, smiling despite herself.

 _A few days later…_

On the weekend, he went back in his childhood neighbourhood to see his mom and Kenma. He met his former setter on the way and they caught up on their respective lives, as if they had never been apart. Kenma, and apparently all of Nekoma from what he learned, knew about Akane and him and their current relationship status – courtesy of I-don't-know-when-to-shut-up-Bokuto.

"Even if he hadn't said anything, I would have understood, you know… You're pretty obvious when you're in love." Kenma said.

Kuroo almost tripped over his own feet, suddenly blushing and stammering:

"W-wha-what! I'm not! Wait– I've never been in l-love, so there's no way you'd know anything…" He answered, voice trailing off in embarrassment.

Kenma stared at him firmly, wondering if he should mess even more with Kuroo by telling him he's been in love with Akane since middle-school and it had always been written all over his face. But then, he decided that it was funnier to see him all flustered and awkward.

"Anyway–"

"Don't try to ignore my problem and feelings, Kenma!" Kuroo exclaimed.

"–What are you gonna tell your mom?"

"I'm not gonna tell her anything! I'm not telling her I'm hooking up with some girl just for sex!"

"That's exactly what you're doing, though."

"She doesn't need to know any of it! She'd be disappointed in me!"

"…And are you really okay with it? I don't mean not telling your mom, but that thing with Akane… trying to keep it casual and without any feeling?" Kenma asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tetsurou slowed down a little, lips falling open then he shook his head and shrugged, avoiding meeting his friend's eyes.

"…It's enough. Akane and I agree on the fact we don't want to fall in love, we just don't want to mess with our studies either by having a real relationship or by being sexually frustrated all the time. That's the alternative we found, and it's a great one."

"…If you say so…" Kenma sighed, understanding Kuroo was being stubborn and wouldn't share his true feelings – he probably didn't know how he felt himself, "I'm here if you need a friend who isn't loud and boisterous like your new teammates, though."

"K-Kenma… t-thank you! It's so generous of you~! I'm going to trust _you_ and only _you_ from now on, I can't trust Bokuto, and Oikawa shares everything with people I don't even know, and Ushiwaka doesn't understand half of what I'm talking about! You really are the _only one_ who–"

"Don't push it."

Amused by their light banter, that reminded him of the old days, Kuroo couldn't help but chuckle.

They arrived at his home and he opened the door a little warily. Even though his mom knew he'd come, he wasn't sure what, or who, he might expect. Thankfully, the first face he saw was Hime-chan who ran to him and immediately was in his arms.

"I miss you too~!" He said, chuckling as she rubbed her face against his jaw.

Kuroo Miki arrived from the kitchen, saluting Kenma and observing her son for a moment. He seemed more rested than usual, his smile was brighter and his eyes were sparkling in a light she recognized instantly.

"You seem to be in a very good mood," she remarked, sharing a knowing glance with Kenma who just nodded behind Kuroo's back to confirm her thoughts.

"Mm? I'm just happy to be home~!" Tetsurou answered, looking… giddy.

She was happily surprised and he didn't seem to notice her stare or Kenma's roll of eyes. He was _so_ _obvious_ …

Tetsurou kissed his mother's cheek while whining about university and how hard it was to handle study and practice, but how fun it was, and how much he missed his mom's cooking – but his smile never wavered from his face.

As curious as she was, Miki waited that they had talked about everything they needed to talk about until she spoke up, acting causal:

"By the way, have you found someone to go with at Masuyo's wedding?" She asked innocently.

Kenma looked up from his game, staring at Kuroo as he froze and almost startled and… was he _flustered?_

Miki noticed too and immediately clasped her hands happily:

"You _have!_ Oh! Tetsurou, I'm so glad!"

"W-wait, no… I-I don't have anyone important enough to go to her wedding…!"

"B-but… you like someone, don't you? You look in love! You've been since you entered!"

Tetsurou started panicking, blushing even more and not wanting to appear in love to anyone and especially not his _mom_. He turned towards Kenma for help who immediately understood the sos call. And decided to ignore it, turning towards Miki:

"He's dating Saito Akane." He said.

Tetsurou almost fell off the couch, trying not to jump to strangle Kenma who _dared_ acting innocent NOW!

Too shocked by his friend's betrayal, too flustered by how the conversation had turned out to be, he didn't have time to find anything to say before his mother started talking:

"Oh! I'm so happy! You are finally dating a girl! And Akane-chan, at that! You've been going on and on about her since middle-school! You're finally dating a girl you like! I was so worried for you after what had happened with Kohaku-chan, but you're getting over it!"

She hugged Tetsurou and he was at a loss of words, _her_ words hitting his heart hard, as she continued, looking at him with happy tears in her eyes:

"I'm so happy you're finally happy, Tetsurou… You deserve the world, my baby boy. Knowing you had the courage to fall in love and date such a brilliant, sweet girl as Akane… I'm so proud of you!"

She kissed his cheek happily and he only half-smiled, lowering his head, unaware of his mom's words and Kenma's stare. How could he tell her he was just hooking with Akane when his mom's biggest worry of the past few years had been that he had been too broken-hearted to be with anyone? How could he disappoint her _now?_

"I'm so impatient to meet her at the wedding! My future daughter-in-law~!"

"Oh boy…" Kenma muttered with an amused smile, ignoring Kuroo's glare.

 _Worst_ : how was he supposed to tell Akane she had to pretend to be his full-time girlfriend and go to his cousin's wedding, his mom already hearing the wedding bells for the two of them?

* * *

Lots of smut, next chapter will be relationship-building focus! ;)


	15. Fake Truth

_I'll have to post another chapter of Oikawa's fic but I'm in a Kuroo mood recently, tho, it's hard to be in any other mood with the Battle of the Trash Dump that had started!_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **jungkookies** : I should have warned, indeed._

 _ **Lovelybaka** : Tu ne sais toujours pas que j'ai une tendance aux cliffhangers? La raison pour laquelle j'ai commecné à regarder haikyuu était Asahi (Hosoya Yoshimasa~) mais Kuroo a été le premier personnage que j'ai adoré dès son apparition, les autres ça a été graduel! ;) Ce chapitre est quasiment que du fluff, donc tu vas être contente! ;)_

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : Ahah! Kuroo is getting over his dilmema for now, but soon he'll be all traumatized again the poor kitten!_

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : "Poor kenma he's deifnitely getting strangled offscreen" - best summary of last chapter lol! XD You're not wrong but I think that until he met hINATA he didn't have to think about whether or not he liked or disliked people. I think he's an easy guy so Hinata pulled strings he wasn't aware of. Same for love when it'll happen for Wakatoshi. He won't understand it at first, perhaps he'll even dislike it, but it'll eventually make him grow! :)_

 _ **booklover2098** : Kenma is our hero who has allowed us to hope for fake-dating wedding moments._

 _ **marimendozadarling** : WE love that Kenma did that tho! Only Kuroo (and Akane) are annoyed! Ahah, like I said once, I think that once Wakatoshi realizes he's in love, he wouldn't waste time and would confess right away - the only problem is HOW LONG will it take for him to realize he's in love? (the one who took the most time so far to kiss his girl was Bokuto: 60or so chapters, a year or so of their timeline)_

 _Playlist song: **"I can't fall in love without you" Zara Larsson**_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XV : Fake Truth

" _If it turns out that we were only a temporary fire, I'll still thank fate every day that I burned for you and you for me, and I'll sleep in our ashes every night."_

— **Unknown**

" _She's imperfect but she tries;_

 _She is good but she lies;_

 _She is hard on herself;_

 _She is broken and won't ask for help;_

 _She is messy but she's kind;_

 _She is lonely most of the time;_

 _She is all of this mixed up…"_

— **Sara Bareilles, "She Used to be Mine," Album: What's Inside: Songs from Waitress (2015)**

" _We all walk among people in crisis and are unaware of their suffering."_

— **Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls**

" _She's a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _Sometimes it's hard to fake who you are, sometimes it's hard to be sane."_

— **Maram Rimawi**

" _She is oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. The same elements that are inside the rest of us, but I can't help thinking she's more than that and she's got other elements going on that no one's ever heard of, ones that make her stand apart from everybody else."_

— **Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places**

" _She is a living fire… At the same time she is extremely tender, brave, intelligent, and sacrifices everything, or if you prefer, acquires everything by sacrifice."_

— **Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena**

" _I don't want someone that's 'hot'. I just need someone that would keep me warm when the rest of the world is cold."_

— **Sal, You're beautiful**

" _When you find someone who can make you laugh. Smile. Grow. lust. Want. Crave. Feel. Make you mad but happy. Keep that. That's euphoria."_

— **Unknown**

" _Write her a letter, send her a flower, love only gets old if you let it."_

— **William Chapman**

" _That's how you know you love someone, I guess. When you can't experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too."_

— **Kaui Hart Hemmings, The Descendants**

" _If you let people into your life a little bit, they can be pretty damn amazing."_

— **Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian**

"You _what?!"_ Akane hissed, sitting on her desk and arms crossed over her chest angrily.

Tetsurou opened and closed his lips, not knowing how to say it again without risking losing his head in the process.

"…Just one day when you pretend to be my girlfriend… For my cousin's wedding, then after that one day, everything is back to normal!" He exclaimed.

Akane's reddish eyes were burning in rage as she stared at him firmly. He waited sheepishly for her answer.

"I understood the fake dating part – but _why_ would you go and tell your mother we're dating?!" She exclaimed.

He pointed his finger at her to correct her:

"I _didn't – Kenma_ did, totally on purpose to embarrass the heck out of me, by the way! He _knows_ we're just… sex friends and nothing else."

"Why would you tell that to Kozume of _all_ people?!"

"I DIDN'T! _Bokuto_ did!" He shouted, raising his hands to the ceiling in despair.

"Why would you tell _him_ , then?!"

"You seriously expected me to tell no one?!" Tetsurou asked, shaking his head.

Akane stared at him, opening and closing her lips in disbelief. Then she looked away and her shoulders dropped.

"Wait, you kept it a secret?" He asked.

"I-I had assumed… we had to…" She whispered awkwardly, staring down at her crossed ankles.

"There's no need to– it's too late, anyway! But why would you think we had to? We're just having sex, not committing a crime! _Everyone_ does that!" He said.

"Being sex friend with your rival from school?" She asked in disbelief, raising an eyebrow, " _Everyone_ is sex friend with his rival? _Really?"_

"…Except maybe the mentally balanced people and romantic ones… the ones who haven't fucked up times and times again…" He mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"It's not like I have anyone to tell anyway…" She whispered.

Tetsurou stared at her, shocked and hurt without quite knowing why. Once again, her loneliness seemed to hit him and he found no word to say for comfort…

Akane seemed to realize the weight of the words she had just said because she froze then glanced up at him hesitantly.

They stared at each other for a moment, then she looked away, coughing awkwardly.

"A-anyway… so, your mother thinks we're dating and that I'll go to your cousin's wedding?"

"Yeah…" He answered, trying not to think about her loneliness too much – he might get even more attached to her.

She bit her thumb's nail, glancing around nervously and flushing in embarrassment.

"I-I can't… I can't see her, she'll get expectations and then, we'll just… she'll just be disappointed in both of us, and mostly you if she learns the truth. I _can't_ meet her, not at your cousin's wedding, not ever…" She said with a shake of her head.

"I… I know but… come on, just for one day… she… my mom won't find out the truth. But if I show up alone, she'll be… she'll definitely be disappointed…"

Akane glanced up at him hesitantly as he balanced his big body from one foot to another, hesitating, looking conflicted.

"My mom… she's been worrying for me because I didn't have any stable relationship and… she finally thinks I'm doing things right, I can't disappoint her again…" He said, lowering his head.

"But… you know that _this_ … _us_ … is _not_ a stable relationship…" Akane said, voice a little tight as he looked up at her and nodded sadly, "We… we're just… just sex and no feelings, right? That means… the moment one of us starts feeling _more_ , we _stop_ it. Before it's too late. Right?"

"I…"

 _I already felt more long before we kissed_ … He thought but nodded to her words.

"I agreed to these terms, we keep it that way. Just sex, no feeling." He repeated, not looking directly into her eyes.

"Good."

"Good…"

Silence resonated, as if disagreeing with their decision.

Akane took a deep, shaky breath, jumping down her desk and approaching him:

"Look… I… _okay_ , for going with you, at your cousin's wedding. But we're just faking it for _one_ day. That's it. Everything else is going to be the same as usual, agreed?" She said.

"Agreed. Thank you… so much!"

"Let's go before being late…" She sighed, grabbing her bag.

He leaned down to grab his own, a little relieved that she would roll with this stupid plan of fake dating in front of his mother, while being sex friends. And let's not think of the part when he had started falling in love with her but was too infatuated to stop things _now_. If he thought about the relationship he had with Akane, it felt more and more fake everyday but… _fake_ was all he had. It was better than lying at least, like what it had been with Kohaku.

"Fuck, I forgot my phone!" He realized, after just a few meters in the hall, "I'll go grab it – go ahead, I'll catch up with you!" He exclaimed, running back to his place.

"Airhead!" She exclaimed, turning around to look at him and walking backwards.

Just before disappearing by the door, he glared at her, narrowing his eyes. She laughed at his expression and went down the stairs. She decided to walk faster than usual to make him run more. She was still smiling when she walked out of the building.

"Akane."

She froze, recognizing this voice. Her heart started beating up, panic filling her veins as she looked up and saw who she feared she'd see.

A man in his fifties, dark hair, frowning expression, walked forward to meet her.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed, furious even though she was frightened.

"You know what. I've been looking for you after you disappeared." He answered, sounding pissed off.

She looked away, unable to meet his gaze.

"How did you find me? You shouldn't have been able to find this place…" She continued, voice still cold as ice.

"Did you really think you could escape me?" He continued, narrowing his eyes at her.

Angry electricity sparkled between them and she clenched her jaw.

"Takehiko…" She sighed, closing her eyes.

He had threatened her to do that but she hadn't thought he'd have the balls, or would be angry enough she had ended things between them to actually do it. What an asshole. Until the very end, he kept being a pain in the ass.

"You should choose who you fuck with more carefully." The man said with a smirk, amused at her distress.

Akane was frozen for a moment, before deciding to ignore him. She turned around to leave but he lost his smile.

"Don't ignore me when I talk to you! You belong to me, have you forgotten?!" He shouted, "You owe me _everything!"_

Akane lifted up her head, unconsciously accelerating to get away from him faster but he grabbed her arm and forced her to turn around. She almost screamed at the violence of the gesture, but her voice turned into a whimper from how strongly he was clenching her arm. Her other hand reached for his, trying to scratch him with her nails, but when he opened his mouth, she thought he'd hit her and froze in fear.

Suddenly, he froze and both the man and Akane looked up at Tetsurou who had put his hand on the man's shoulder. Tight. So tight that he had no choice but to let go Akane's arm. She immediately stepped away and Tetsurou sheltered her with his tall figure, looking down at the man in silent threatening.

"Stay away from her. Don't touch her." He said in a dark voice that held nothing of the usual warmth she loved.

Akane looked up at him, stunned by this new side of Tetsurou she was seeing. He had never looked so… dangerous. If he usually was a good, snarky, lazy cat house, now he was a panther seething in cold rage. She swallowed hard then looked back at the man who turned his gaze to her:

"Like I said, you should be careful who you fuck with. Don't spread your legs to anyone, you'd become no more than a whore. But I guess you didn't follow _just_ your mother's dream, after all."

Akane looked away, feeling like throwing up. She lowered her head, shoulders shaking and fighting against the tears that were burning her eyes.

Tetsurou was a little surprised by the words – he had assumed the man was just some random pervert, but he knew Akane _and_ her mother. He looked back at Akane and was surprised once again. To see her so distressed… it was like she was some fragile piece of crystal that, with just a few harsh words, had started to shatter.

"I'll see you again, Akane!" The man said, waving at her with a smirk as he walked away, "Let's see how long you'll keep your guard dog this time!"

Tetsurou couldn't help but put a protective arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, glaring at the man until he was away.

"Who was that?" He asked, frowning.

He looked down at Akane and she looked like she had trouble breathing. But his question seemed to bring her back to earth. She breathed deeply once. Her eyes cleared up. She straightened up again and started walking proudly once again. But her arm was around his waist, so they'd keep walking side by side – it was probably safer in case this guy was still around and could see them.

"A ghost from the past." She answered coldly.

He was curious and worried, he wanted to know more, but he didn't dare ask her anything else. He had never seen her so distressed, but this harsh, cold gaze, he knew very well. It was who she had showed to everyone for most of high-school, after all.

Ever since the last summer storm, he had remembered falling for her all the way back in middle-school. She had had long hair, she had been shy and warm. Everyday, he remembered something new from that time he had almost forgotten, like pieces of his love coming back in soft waves.

Then, even though she appeared like a fiery girl, she became cold and distance with everyone.

What had happened to turn the soothing flame of her soul into such a burning ice?

The rest of the day, Akane remained closed off and absent-minded, occasionally looking really pissed off and Tetsurou had no choice but to leave her when he had to go for practice. He just hoped she wouldn't do anything wrong and insisted she'd send him updates on her state of mind on phone. As a joke, she decided to send him random words every five seconds, harassing him with messages until he stopped reading them. At least, the vibrating in his hand became sort of soothing. Like her way of saying _"I'm still here to annoy you, silly cat"_ and he _loved_ it. He might be more of a masochistic than he used to think but once again, he was having a strange relationship with Saito Akane, so that was enough of an answer. The vibrating almost became a music, a rhythm to which he walked, like the tapping on his wall she left for him every night, slowly becoming a lullaby to fall asleep to.

 _I love you._

" _The moment one of us starts feeling_ _ **more**_ _, we_ _ **stop**_ _it. Before it's too late."_

 _Gods, I don't understand anything anymore_ … He thought with a heavy sigh.

A car drove past him, slowing down and honking loudly. Tetsurou frowned at the guy, about to yell some insult at the pervert when he froze, the car vaguely familiar. The car stopped and the window lowered and he recognized the driver:

"Bokuto! What the fuck?! What are you– you've got your licence?!" He asked, remembering now that Bokuto had had his exam the previous day.

"Well, _yeah!_ Get in!" He exclaimed proudly.

Tetsurou ran to the other side of the car, getting in comfortably as Bokuto started driving again. He looked around excitedly, looking at the family car that Bokuto's parents had promised him if he got his driving licence. He totally imagined him going _directly_ to his parents' house the previous night just to get his promised car. Then Tetsurou observed him driving, surprised by how calm and careful he was. If he could be like that _all_ the time, it'd be wonderful.

"You're doing great," he commented.

"Hey! I got my driving licence for a reason!" He exclaimed proudly.

"I'm surprised you got it on the first try."

" _Eh!"_

Now offended, Bokuto was pouting but thankfully – _miraculously!_ – it didn't have any consequence on his driving.

"Your exam is soon, right?"

"Yeah, next week. I'm getting nervous…" Kuroo admitted, not having as much experience as Bokuto had in driving before getting his licence.

"It'll be fine! I'm sure you'll get it! And you'll take Akane to lots of lovely places! Sea, mountain, sunsets, countryside, fields of flowers!" Bokuto exclaimed excitedly.

"Aren't you talking about your plans with your Ayaka-chan~?" He teased.

Bokuto laughed, but flushed adorably. His happiness was contagious and Kuroo considered taking Akane to some trip somewhere. It'd do them good to see something else than Tokyo suburbs or the university.

"What's wrong with your phone? Does it have a problem to keep ringing like that?" Bokuto asked, glancing at the phone in Kuroo's hand.

"Ah ah! No! It's Akane! Some stuff happened and I asked her to keep sending me messages, she took it too literally and doesn't stop now." He explained, glancing down with a fond look on his face at the phone.

It didn't escape Bokuto's gaze and he snorted.

"You're so in love with her, seriously…"

Kuroo pouted and looked away, ignoring the way his cheeks warmed up.

"Stuff? What sort of stuff?" He asked curiously.

Kuroo wasn't certain he could tell him, but after a sigh, he told Bokuto everything that had happened in the morning – starting with the whole mess Kenma had _lovingly_ provoked with this wedding; then meeting this man who seemed to know Akane.

"You're going to introduce her to your mom! That's so cool!"

"Oi, didn't you listen the rest of it?"

"But she's going to meet you mom! You're moving fast! Well, you started by having sex right off the bat, so obviously you're moving fast but–"

Kuroo rolled his eyes, letting him rant on his own until they arrived at the gymnasium and Bokuto fell silent, focusing on parking the car.

After practice and a shower, he had dinner with Oikawa then he accompanied the setter to go get Kiku at her part-time job – he was forbidden by Iwaizumi to let her go home on her own. Then, instead of going home, Tetsurou took a walk in town before going to the Gem's, taking the time to answer to each and every one of Akane's messages from earlier.

He had come there only once since he and Akane had started their relationship. He saluted the bouncer who recognized him then Tetsurou went to wait in the backstreet where the girls went out instead of the main entrance. There was no one and the street stunk, but he waited there, leaning against the wall, continuing to answer all of her messages – over four hundreds, that was a challenge.

Suddenly, the door opened and a girl stumbled outside, still wearing her sparkly clothes and wig, her hands already turning on a cigarette. She blinked, stunned to see someone there. Then she seemed to recognize Tetsurou:

"You're Akane's boyfriend, right? She's gonna be done with her shift in a few minutes," she told him, calmly smoking her cigarette.

"It's okay, I can wait," he answered, happily flustered he was seen by her colleagues as her ~boyfriend~.

She glanced at him, staring at him from head to toe then raising her eyebrows appreciatively.

"If only all these perverts could be as fine-looking as you, it'd be less of a pain to work there…" She said, letting out the smoke escape from her mouth.

"Thank you for the compliment~!" He answered before hesitating, "You're friend with Akane, right?"

"Sort of, she keeps to herself. She's one of the rare ones who personally knows the boss, she's been around here for years." She answered with a shrug, checking her nails.

"The boss? Wait – _years?"_ He asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

"She was already here when I started, two years ago. She only started working around a year ago though, the boss didn't want to let her do anything before she was ready." She explained casually.

"…Akane told me that the job pays well and that the girls are kept safe. Is that true?" He asked.

She let out some smoke, then glanced at him, almost frowning at him before her traits softened a little:

"Worried she sleeps with random perverts? That it's our job here? That's what you're asking, uh?" She asked with an amused smile.

He flushed in shame because it was exactly what he meant. Then her smile wavered and he realized that her amusement hadn't reached her eyes. She lowered her head for a moment, taking more cigarette smoke into her lungs before looking up, letting out the smoke. The only thing that could be seen from the stinky street was the bluish colour of the night sky but there was no star to see – too much light and pollution.

"Some of the girls probably do… But it's behind me. As for Akane… I can't imagine her doing such a thing. She's too proud to give up her dignity. She's brilliant and deserves better than this life, so I hope she'll get her studies right to get out of here."

Tetsurou smiled lightly, proud to know that everyone acknowledged Akane's genius, and relieved to know she wasn't doing any dark work in this place. If it were the case, it'd mean she was lying to him and cheating on him and he wouldn't handle it – he had had enough lies with Kohaku in the past.

"I was surprised to learn she had a boyfriend, especially _you_ , so you'd better keep her safe. If you break her heart, you have the entire staff of the Gem's ready to kick your balls until they fall off." She warned him with a terrible smirk.

He smirked, glad to know that Akane was safe working in the Gem's, and he had no intention to hurt her in any way, his balls would be safe and sound.

"I only want her happy," he said.

She smiled gently, glad to hear that and Tetsurou blinked, stunned and blushing by his own words. Even if it was true, even if he knew it was how he felt, it was strange to acknowledge it enough to say it outloud, especially to a stranger.

The girl finished her cigarette then crushed it under her shoe, before turning back towards the Gem's back door:

"Next time, instead of waiting outside in the stench of pee and vomit, knock five times at the door. It means you're allowed inside." She said without even looking at him, "I'll tell Akane you're waiting for her."

"Thanks!" He exclaimed, leaning once again against the wall to continue sending messages.

A few minutes later, the door opened again and Akane stumbled outside, eyes wide to see him here. She opened and closed her reddish lips, her face still covered in a few traces of make-up. A bag over her shoulder, struggling to get her arms into her jacket, she just stared at him. He loved seeing her like that, messy and natural. He found himself smiling at the sight and Akane couldn't help but let her own lips stretch into a wide, stunned smile:

"What are you doing here? Have you been waiting for my shift to end since the end of practice?" She asked in disbelief, finally getting her jacket right and approaching him.

"I had dinner, and I walked around a little before coming here. I wanted to get you home safely."

He hesitated, smile wavering as he looked down at her. The light was terrible, it gave both of them a sick skin-tone and yet, her eyes sparkled beautifully.

"With that guy from this morning, I was worried. I didn't want you alone." He said, flushing a little.

Akane stared at him, still stunned and smiling, then she chuckled and her fingers went against her lips, as if trying to hold back her chuckle. Then she let them go into her hair, letting the short strands go even wilder. It made things to his heart and body he didn't think possible.

"That's… it's so sweet… Thank you, Tetsu…" She said, sounding so honest it was like honeyed music to his ears.

"You're very welcome~!" He answered before lifting up his phone.

He started typing yet another message and she was surprised he was actually ignoring her for his phone. But a second later, she heard a vibration in her bag and she took out her phone for the first time since she had started her shift. She gasped and hissed, seeing over three hundred messages sent by Tetsurou, his lovely answers to what she had sent. Most of it sounded like jokes, weren't even words, there was the entire periodic table and the last one he had sent her…

 **You look great**

She smiled and Tetsurou glanced at her quickly before sending another message.

 **You still have red lipstick on your lips**

She chuckled and looked up at him as he continued to send her message after message, the vibration in her hand a more vivid melody than the smothered sound of music coming from the Gem's.

 **Your lips look very kissable right now**

 **The make-up of your eyes is still smudged**

 **There are sparkles on your cheek**

 **Your hair is worse than mine**

 **I love it**

Akane laughed, looking up at him as he continued with an amused smile on his face, complimenting through messages even though they were standing just a few centimetres from one another:

 **You're beautiful**

"O-okay, it's enough! I have more than enough messages now!" She exclaimed, blushing.

Tetsurou pretended he didn't know what that meant:

 **Oh, you're blushing**

She stared at the messages, feeling so giddy she felt like she was about to burst into sparkles of joy.

 **How cute~**

"Tetsurou, come on…! I have too many messages! Why did you send me so many?"

"You sent me a lot more!"

"You _asked_ me to!"

"Not to that extent!"

They both chuckled and laughed and he started typing another message but Akane grabbed his phone and ran off, laughing.

"Oi! Don't!" He exclaimed, running after her.

She laughed loudly until he caught up with her, grabbing her by the waist and lifting her up, making her scream and laugh. He tried to get both of their phones back but she held them tightly in her hands against her chest.

"Come on, give it back!" Tetsurou exclaimed, laughing against the back of her neck as he struggled to get his phone away from her hands.

"Nah!" She exclaimed but she was laughing too much and he finally managed to get it from her fingers.

He walked away triumphally, both laughing like fools. Akane ran after him and jumped on his back, making him huff but he held her by the legs as he walked with Akane on his back. She surrounded his torso with her arms and buried her nose in his shoulder, enjoying the sudden silence and warm atmosphere around them.

"Let's go home," he said, glancing at her.

Akane turned her head to look at him, her eyes hesitating for a short time, before she smiled softly. Then she buried her face in his shoulder and he took it as her way of saying she agreed. They were both still smiling like idiots when they arrived home.

* * *

BONUS

 _[A few days later…]_

Akane sighed in annoyance when she saw a weird message from Tetsurou, asking her to come downstairs. She was trying to study so why was he bothering her again? Considering the location, it probably wasn't for sex so why was he asking her to join him _downstairs?_

She got a few clothes on, put on her shoes then went downstairs, looking around but he wasn't even–

She froze, staring with wide eyes at the _sexiest_ scene she had ever seen with her own two eyes.

Tetsurou, tight dark jeans, black leather jacket, arms crossed over his chest, and the brightest smirk on his face, was leaning against a big, black and red motorbike.

"Holy… are you… do you… what?" She stammered, approaching him and the bike.

"What do you think~?" He asked with a proud wink.

He caressed the side of the motorbike, very much like any man would with his precious car or motorbike. Akane rolled her eyes with a smile but he didn't even notice it.

"It looks great, though I don't know much about motorbikes. I suppose it's yours? Where did it come from? Wait– does this mean you got your driving licence?!"

"Motorbike driving licence, yeah! I got it the day before yesterday but I wanted to surprise you! As for my beautiful girl here," he continued, tapping the seat of the motorbike, "Two years ago, one of my mom's friend wanted to get rid of it. Knowing I wanted to drive one someday, she bought it but it needed to be fixed. Kenma and a few other guys from Nekoma helped me out these last two years to fix it up. Though, Kenma was mostly keeping me company, and helped mostly with the painting in the end. He painted the cat."

"It's an impressive work… it looks brand-new! Is it safe? Does it work?" Akane asked, caressing the beautiful painting.

"Yamamoto's dad works in a repair shop so he helped a lot, and gave me the confirmation it all worked fine~!"

Akane stared at the motorbike. Even not knowing much about this sort of things, she had to admit it was a beautiful machine and knowing it had been fixed by Kuroo himself, and his friends, was stunning.

Tetsurou stared at her, proud of his work and the way she looked so amazed right now.

"So… what do you think?" He asked again.

"It's an amazing work!" She exclaimed, leaning down to check more closely the painting and noticing a clumsy painting of a black cat that sort of stood out in the overall perfect look of the motorbike.

Probably from Kozume. Such skilful art.

"That's not what I meant! Have you ever been on a motorbike before?" He asked, straightening up.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, a smile stretching on her lips:

"Are you kidding? Really?" She asked in amazement.

"If you want~!" He continued with a wink.

He pulled up the seat, pulling out another helmet for her. She bit on her lower lip, trying to contain her excitement, before nodding vividly. And off they went for the rest of the day, taking in the new and amazing sensations of driving a motorbike through Tokyo.

* * *

 _Fluff, fluff, fluff. I love the last scene of the chapter when he waits for her at the Gem's and they walk home. Probabl one of my favorite scene so far - but there is a scene I wrote in chapter 17 that's just as sweet~!_

 _Sexy time, fluffy time, saddy time - these chapters lately really make you go through a rollercoaster of emotions, eh? ;D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : PILLOW TALK_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	16. Pillow-Talk

_All right so I'm very busy this week because I have loooots of things to do and I leave next Sunday on an archeological site for a month. I probbaly won't have itnernet or time to write so I'll try posting another chapter next week so you won't have to wait a month for things to get better between these two. Same for Aliens, I'll post soon, promise!_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! ;D_

 ** _PS: I should have made it ore clear in the previous chapter! TAKEHIKO IS AKANE'S EX-BOYFRIRNED/SEXFRIEND/ACQUAINTANCE NOT THE GUY WHO TALKED TO HER OR THE BOSS OF THE GEM'S! She said his name because she realized Takehiko was the one to tell the guy who had showed up where she lived. Sorry! "_**

 ** _Guest :_** _You hve your answer! x) You'll have to wait a few more chapters before the cousin's wedding, but I think you'll like this chapter! ;D_

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : Kuroo on a motorbike is probably everyone's secret fantasy, isn't it? ;)_

 _ **booklover2098** : Foreshadowing, yes, foreshadowing! ;D_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : Probably because ti's everyone's fantasy! ;) Unfortunately cancels the links so I can't see the pictures... :/ The first wave of anguish is here, but it'll be over soon, i promise! ;)_

 _ **Rhea Ellace** : Ahah! I love it too~! Well, the list isn't that long because after Kuroo and Oikawa there won't be any more big story. I am planning on finishing Akaashi's short one and give Ushijima and Tendou some one-shots/short-stories as well! :) I think Akane is the OC I am the proudest of btu I want to make Shiori more likeable and for poeple to love her as much as the other girls..._

 ** _Playlist song: "I'm a mess" from Ed Sheeran and "Us" from James Bay_**

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XVI : Pillow-Talk

" _But you, you're special to me. When I'm with you I feel something is just right. I believe in you. I like you. I don't want to let you go."_

— **Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood**

" _The first duty of love is to listen."_

— **Paul Tillich**

" _True intimacy is more than fooling around with somebody you're attracted to. I want to share myself with somebody who will press her hands through the surface of my skin, curl herself up inside my soul and say, Here, this is who I am."_

— **Beau Taplin**

" _And maybe that was love. Being so vulnerable and allowing someone else in so far they could hurt you, but they also give you everything."_

— **Christine Feehan, Water Bound**

" _You're the most beautiful mistake that I've ever made."_

— **Unknown**

" _Please come to bed and let me see you and feel you."_

— **Ernest Hemingway, The Garden Of Eden**

" _You may think you want to die when all you really want is to start living."_

— **Unknown**

" _It's not love or anything, but I think I like you, too."_

— **Chuck Palahniuk**

" _She was bad at love. She loved too hard."_

— **Ann Brashares, The Second Summer of the Sisterhood**

" _She was brave and strong and broken all at once."_

— **Anna Funder, Stasiland**

" _You know that it was you, right? When I said that you broke my heart, I was talking about you. I also realized that I'm in love with you."_

— **Jenny Schecter, The L Word**

" _I'm not totally mad at you. I'm just sad. You're all locked up in that little world of yours, and when I try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside."_

— **Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood**

" _The more you open up, the more you get hurt. So basically, I'm just riddled with scars and I just don't want any more."_

— **Freddie Mercury**

" _I'm getting to like you so tremendously that it sometimes scares me."_

— **Georgia O'Keeffe, My Faraway One: Selected Letters of Georgia O'Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz: Volume One**

" _People only tell lies when there is something they are terribly frightened of losing."_

— **Orhan Pamuk, The Museum of Innocence**

" _It's not going to last forever, is it?_

 _No. I knew so._

 _But you've made me feel more love than I thought I was capable of. And I'll always be grateful to you for that."_

— **Unknown**

" _Everyone always wants to know how you can tell when it's true love, and the answer is this: when the pain doesn't fade and the scars don't heal, and it's too damned late."_

— **Jonathan Tropper, The Book of Joe**

" _More than anything I grieve over what we never said."_

— **Liv Ullman, Changing**

" _No, you're not a bad person… and I'm not a bad person. We're just people, and people sometimes do stupid things."_

— **Francesca Zappia**

" _Every person I've ever loved has some how become toxic to me. A living, breathing reminder of why I was always better off alone."_

— **Unknown**

" _I was so sentimental about you I'd break any one's heart for you. My, I was a damned fool. I broke my own heart, too. It's broken and gone. Everything I believe in and everything I cared about I left for you because you were so wonderful and you loved me so much that love was all that mattered. Love was the greatest thing, wasn't it?"_

— **Ernest Hemingway**

" _I love too hard, too quickly and then sometimes I don't love enough. I guess I'm just bad at love."_

— **Kristie Betts**

Tetsurou woke up feeling warm and safe. He was surrounded by the scent of apple of cinnamon and he started smiling, eyes still closed. He could feel Akane's body pressed against his torso, one of his arm around her waist. He snuggled even closer, making her moan sleepily. If he had been a cat, he would have purred.

"…You're tickling me again… stop it…" Akane mumbled, eyes still closed.

"I'm not doing anything…" He answered, opening his eyes.

He started using his fingers to tickle her sides and tummy, making her wiggle and mumble incoherently.

He chuckled lightly while she smiled, holding back her laugh. He raised himself on one arm, looking down at Akane as she opened her eyes. She yawned and stretched, taking a long time to wake up.

"Will you stop staring at me, it's creepy?" She said when he kept watching her.

"I know you watch me in my sleep too," he answered with a lazy smile.

"No, I don't!"

But she flushed and he had to hold back his chuckle. After a few minutes, still not willing to get out of bed, Akane turned towards Tetsurou:

"Aren't you going running?" She asked him curiously.

"Do you want to get rid of me?" He mumbled.

"No, but you always go running before I'm up. I don't want you to mess up your training because you are so passionately enchanted by my sight in the morning."

Tetsurou chuckled before letting his head down against the pillow, so they could face each other.

"Believe me, you are a lot more enchanting at any other time _but_ the morning. Your eyebags, your bedhair… _urgh_ , you look _terrible_." He said, voice mocking but they both knew he didn't mean any harm by that.

" _You_ don't get to talk about bedhair."

Vanquished, Tetsurou just raised his hands in defence. He couldn't fight on this.

"Why volleyball?" Akane suddenly asked.

He stared at her with wide eyes, surprised by her question. It was rare, that Akane would ask him questions about himself, or his tastes. He hesitated – pillow talk wasn't part of the deal. But… so was having lunch together, talking about kitten's names together, going to the university together, sitting together, going to get her at her part-time job at night to be safe… And how could he resist when she looked at him with such round, curious eyes? He felt like he was once again seeing the Saito Akane from middle-school he had a crush on.

"…I saw a match on tv when I was a kid. It looked amazing, all these tall players jumping everywhere, the ball flying so fast you couldn't see it! Whenever a libero would save a ball, or a spiker would spike through an opponent's block, or just when a blocker was shutting down a ball that was going so fast, so strongly! It was just… _amazing!"_ He said with an excited grin and sparkling eyes.

Akane watched him closely, amazed by how, despite his sexy looks and tall-as-a-tree limbs, he could still look like a child who was discovering the secrets of the universe.

"I begged my mom to let me try, so she bought me a volley ball and I dragged Kenma to the nearest park with a net – and we played there."

"You learned on your own?" She asked, surprised and impressed.

"For a while, by watching videos and then doing it with Kenma. Then when we _really_ liked it, well, mostly me, my mom let me go to some practice. Then I entered Nekoma middle-school and I started practicing under a coach, at the volleyball club. I made real progress only in high-school because it was a much bigger team, despite being the same school. Also the Fukurodani Group's training camp, it helped a lot– and also, when Nekomata came back and– sorry, I'm just bragging now…!" He said with an embarrassed chuckle.

"It's fine, I like seeing you like that, so joyful about your passion. It makes you look… pure." She said, as if she couldn't believe she was using the word 'pure' to talk about Kuroo.

He chuckled at that, still a little embarrassed for losing himself in his memories and passion.

"What about you?" He asked, looking back at Akane.

"I absolutely hate volleyball. It just keeps giving you bruises and break your nails. Ugh." She answered with a smile.

"That's not what I meant! But chemistry, _sciences_ – it's your passion, right? Where does it come from?" He asked curiously.

She hesitated, glancing away before realizing that if she had asked him about his passion, he had the right to receive an answer to hers.

"My mom." She said with a soft smile.

Tetsurou's heart missed a beat and he observed her closely. They were in his apartment right now, but he remembered the _butsudan_ in her room.

"She loved sciences, studied it a little on her own but she never had the possibility to study it at the university. Not enough money. But… she taught me everything she knew and she made me curious and passionate about sciences, mostly chemistry. I never stopped loving it, and now… I guess I'm trying to make it up to her. She couldn't go to the university, but… but I'm trying to do it right, for me, and for her as well." She explained in a calm voice.

Tetsurou hesitated, lips thin. He wanted to comfort her but he didn't know how and… he could tell that she didn't need it. She wasn't sad, just a little melancholic, she looked back to these memories with a smile.

"What happened?" He asked softly, as if scared to ask such a delicate question.

Akane hesitated once again, glancing at him quickly. Her eyes were suddenly glossy, and she looked vulnerable. More vulnerable than she ever did. He wanted to take back his question, take her in his arms and never speak about it again but…

"She got sick… I don't remember very well… I was only seven years old… but… it's the happiest memories of my life." She answered in a trembling voice.

"Then… who raised you? Your father?" He asked curiously, trying to change the topic to something more joyful.

She darkened and he was close to panicking.

"My step-father took me in. I don't know my father, and there is no family on my mother's side either."

He opened and closed his lips, not having expected his heart to beat faster, and his body to warm up so softly.

"I… I don't know my father either… I mean, he left when he learned my mom's pregnancy," he said.

She looked back into his eyes, as surprised as he was that they had a common point such as that.

"So… she raised you on her own?"

"Yeah… she's the most amazing person I know, the strongest woman in the whole world, and my hero." He said with a huge smile.

"She… she sounds like an amazing person indeed, to raise you into such a…"

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow at her hesitation, but she quickly erased his worry with a smile:

"Such an amazing man." She said, honesty shining in her eyes.

It made him smile like an idiot. He liked– no, he _loved_ that she considered him an amazing man.

"Despite the dorkiness from times to times," she added, her smile turning more mischievous.

"Oi, you love my dorkiness."

"Yes, I do."

"Aaaw~ you love me~!" He mocked.

She stared at him with such brilliant eyes, such a soft expression that it took his breath away. She didn't confirm it, but she didn't deny his words either and it was enough to send his heart beating like never before, and his stomach to make rollercoasters and his mind to go completely blank.

"I never opened up like that before…" Akane murmured.

"It's… it's nice…" He said, even though his voice was still a little too high-pitched to his tastes, "I mean – not that you never opened up before! But that you can open up now! _I_ can open up too! I mean, w-we're opening up to each other a-and…"

His voice trailed off and he flushed, feeling so awfully close to Akane that he feared she'd sense everything – his heartbeat, his body heating up out of sheer embarrassment, his nervous twitching. It was _crazy_ – they were having sex practically everyday and yet, just some pillow-talk and feeling of intimacy and he was _losing his mind_ around her.

"How was it? With your other girlfriends? And… and Kohaku?" Akane asked, looking more curious than anything else.

Tetsurou stopped breathing for a moment, thinking deeply about this.

"No. I mean… Kohaku was… yeah, a little like that… we usually slept right after doing anything and the other girls… they didn't mean anything to me so…"

"…What was it like, your first time with Kohaku?" She asked, looking teasing.

Tetsurou blushed and looked away.

"Oh gods! Are you _blushing_ thinking back on it?! Was it _that_ great?!" Akane exclaimed, suddenly sitting up to look down at him in disbelief.

"Shut up! It wasn't– I mean, _yes_ , it was just– it's! It's embarrassing…!" He exclaimed, his entire body was turning red now.

"Tell me! What was it?! What was so embarrassing?!"

"I… I was just too nervous! We tried three times in a row, but I was so nervous I kept going _soft…!"_ He exclaimed, hiding his face in his hands out of shame.

Akane laughed, falling back on the bed, laughing so loudly for so long that Tetsurou couldn't help but look at her from in-between his fingers. He started smiling, she was so beautiful and enchanting when she laughed.

"Nervous! Kuroo _~Nekoma's sex god~_ Tetsurou! Nervous for _sex?!_ Going _soft?!_ I can't believe it! Three times you tried? Gods, that's awfully _long!_ Kohaku must have had murderous intents at this point."

"She's the one who took matters in her hands on the third try, that's how _we_ … that's why… I mean…" He mumbled, still embarrassed to be mocked.

Akane laughed even louder, thinking about a nervous and embarrassed Tetsurou and his strong-minded girlfriend taking matters in her hands because he was _going soft!_

"It's the best thing I've ever learned! Thank goodness you don't go soft anymore! All the girls were pining after you and were practically jumping themselves at your feet for sex – but you went soft for your first time?! It's hilarious!"

"…You didn't."

Still in-between fists of laughter, she turned towards him, silently asking him what he meant by that.

"You didn't jump at my feet for sex. But if I was Nekoma's sex god, you were its goddess. The boys were all talking about you and how easy it was to have sex with you. You never had a long-time boyfriend, didn't you? How was your first time then?" He asked, now teasing and curious.

"It wasn't that great." She answered with a shrug, eyes faraway.

"…The guy who broke your heart…" Tetsurou started, earning a surprised look from her, "He must have been a real asshole to keep you so cold for so long…"

"He…"

Her voice broke and she looked away, staring at the ceiling but not quite seeing it.

"Yeah, he was…" She whispered.

Before Tetsurou could say anything else, Akane looked back at him and changed the topic:

"Really? Boys thought I was easy? Then why didn't _you_ try to have sex with me?"

He stared at her and swallowed hard. He couldn't say it was because he had an unknown crush on her. Many students of Nekoma must have thought they had a thing going on back then, though, with their constant rivalry _and_ sexual tension.

"Could it be that you were intimidated~?" She teased, getting closer to him.

"Guh, never, you're just not my type."

She raised surprised eyebrows.

" _Not_ your type? _Please!_ You are begging me for sex everyday!"

"I mean– yeah, but no, I mean… I prefer long hair… and you're the one begging for sex, not me…" He mumbled, making her laugh.

"What was your greatest orgasm?" She asked.

"Last night, obviously~!" He answered with a wink.

She lightly punched his chest, but she looked amused:

"Be serious! Just tell me, unless you're uncomfortable talking about it but that wouldn't sound like you!" She said.

He had sex and great orgasms so many times with so many girls but the only time that seemed to really matter was the one he remembered less, troubled by alcohol but he knew… he knew that making love to Akane that night had been the most wonderful night of his life.

"…First time…" He said, too bashful to admit it had been his first time with _her_.

"It must have been truly great, then," she answered with a chuckle.

"And you? Best orgasm? Other than with me, obviously~!"

"Don't think so high of yourself," she said, even though the best sex she had had _was_ with Tetsurou, "It was… um, back in high-school if I remember well. I was at a party and it was the first time someone was going down on me and that girl was just–"

"Wait! A _girl?_ You've– with girls too?! Tetsurou exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Yeah, please keep up. She was just amazing, truly gifted – I don't think anyone ever gave such amazing sensations ever since…" She said.

He kept staring at her and she turned back to him, chuckling:

"Are you really that surprised I had sex with a few girls? I would have expected you to be bisexual as well."

"I… I didn't have the… I'm not that surprised, I just wasn't expecting it I guess. And I'm… I never tried anything with… men." He mumbled, flushing.

She smiled mischievously and he was a little worried at what she was thinking but then she just looked back at the ceiling, playing absentmindedly with her nails.

"But… I must admit that sex with you is the first time… I don't feel guilty or bad about having sex…" She murmured, "How ironic…" She continued after a while, turning on her side to look at him, "…We spent years as rivals, competing all the time and now… we're sex-friends."

He observed her closely then, once again he turned so they'd be face-to-face. Akane sensed the change of atmosphere, looking back into his eyes just as intensely. Tetsurou's hand was close to her face and before he could control himself, his fingertips were brushing her cheek, her lips then her neck. She closed her eyes with a sigh at the feather-light, intimate touch as he explored her body in new ways. He thought he knew her body by heart, but he loved that he could still find out new sensations within himself whenever she had a new reaction to his touch. Slowly his fingers went back up and he cupped her face, his fingers going through her messy strands of hair and his thumb brushing her cheek tenderly. She opened her eyes again and he got lost into her gorgeous reddish eyes.

"Tell me something no one else knows about you…" She whispered, her own hand resting on his chest, above his heart.

Tetsurou swallowed hard, hesitating but without ever looking away from her eyes, he spoke up. He did something he never did before, said something he never shared with anyone before, not even Kenma or Bokuto. His voice sounded strange, like it wasn't completely his own, more fragile than ever. But it wasn't breaking, it wasn't shaking it was just… a new form of softness that he had never reached before…

"I had a brother… I _should_ have had a brother… I don't know… I… I had a twin brother, but… he died at birth… I… never told anyone else before…" Tetsurou whispered, eyes shining.

Akane stared at him, her eyes filling with tears but he wasn't sure why.

"Maybe… that's why I always felt the need to look after Kenma and treat him like the brother I… never had…" He added softly.

She didn't say anything, but edged closer to him, their bodies entwined in new ways. She pressed her face against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he kept her close to him, taking in each other's warmth.

"Tell me something no one else knows about you…" Tetsurou requested, as quietly as she had a moment ago.

Akane remained silent and after a moment, she moved away, her eyes still full of tears. She looked even more fragile than before, as if this time, these weren't tears of compassion, but tears coming from her own heart.

"I… I–"

A phone suddenly rang, cutting in her sentence. Tetsurou swore, sitting up to reach for his phone and shut it down, then he laid down once again, but the mood was gone and Akane seemed… she seemed _off_.

"Hey, you're okay?" He asked worriedly.

"I… I should go…" She suddenly said, sitting up, "I have to… feed NeCo and… do stuff…"

Her voice was hushed, hurried as she sat up and grabbed her clothes to get dressed. Confused about why she was suddenly so shaken up, Tetsurou grabbed his own underwear and straightened up, following her with his eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again.

Akane pulled down her shirt over her head, keeping her back turned to him. She took a deep breath, then let it out. Then turned around to face him, her expression indescribable.

"I… I think we should stop…"

Tetsurou sat up suddenly, eyes wide:

"What?! Why?!"

"You _know_ why! It's _obvious_ why!" She exclaimed, pointing between the two of them.

"No, it's not! It's great! Why would you stop it now?!" He exclaimed.

"It was the deal, Tetsurou! We have sex and if we start feeling more, we stop! We _have_ to stop _now_ before it's too late!"

"Because we're falling in love with each other?!" He shouted.

She stared at him, mouth open, both realizing that he had said out-loud what they knew deep down…

" _Yes_ …" She said with a broken voice, her eyes teary once again.

He tried to breath, but he couldn't. He tried to think, but he couldn't.

Akane shook her head and stood up but he grabbed her hand. Not her arm, not her wrist, her hand, and he held her fingers tightly. She was trembling, or maybe he was, or maybe both of them.

"Please… Akane, _please_ … don't do that…" Tetsurou whispered, suddenly panicking at the idea that what they had would stop, "W-we can still… we can still have sex, no feelings, I swear! Just… casual sex-friends with no strings attached…! I'm sure we can do it! But please, don't go…"

His hand around hers tightened a little and she looked into his eyes.

"…And then _what?_ In a few weeks, or months, one of us realises we've gone too far and we can't go back? And then WHAT? We'll keep pretending we feel _nothing?_ We'll get together? Taking the risk of messing with our studies, our lives, _everything?!"_ She cried out.

She pulled her hand away and his heart broke as she hurried away from him.

"I'm sorry… I can't do this anymore…" She murmured.

She kept her head turned away and Tetsurou didn't notice the tear that rolled down her cheek as she hurried out of his apartment to lock herself into hers.

Tetsurou stared at the door, realizing that… it was already too late. It had been too late from the beginning, he had been in love with her even before they decided on "no-strings-attached". He had ignored his feelings, the sense that they were going right into a wall, because he was scared to lose her but _now_ … he had lost her. Once and for all. She didn't want of him, for whatever reason, even if she felt something for him, she didn't want of a relationship with him.

Tetsurou buried his face into his knees, trying to hold back his tears, his heart hurting too much to handle.

 _Ah fuck… that's what I didn't want… that's EXACTLY what I didn't want to feel… That's why I didn't want of any relationship with anyone… It always leaves you broken-hearted…_

Now, how was he supposed to go back to normal? To act like he didn't care about Akane when not only he was head-over-heels for her, but she had just broken his heart?

 _A week later…_

Sprawled over his desk while the teacher was talking, Tetsurou was looking with a weird fascination at the way the tip of his pen was going up and down against the paper. He looked up and noticed the back of Akane's head, a few ranks under him. He started nervously twitching his leg, then he looked back at his little game of how much weirder and pathetic he could get with this pen.

Ending all things with Akane had ended up just as he had feared: they didn't talk anymore, they didn't even look at each other. Or rather, now he was desperately and pathetically pining after her and she was ignoring him completely. His friends weren't surprised by learning it and they tried comforting him, even if he played it cool like it was no big deal, but they could tell he wasn't feeling well. They didn't push it, though, and he was grateful they were giving him his space. It sucked that they didn't even look surprised by the turn of events though. His mom had been so sad and disappointed to learn he had "broken up" with his "girlfriend" and that sucked more than anything… Kenma hadn't been surprised either, but he had been strangely sad for Tetsurou – Kenma who didn't usually care what he was doing with who… The worst part was seeing Akane everyday but being unable to talk or touch. The even _worst_ part? She was still leaving a tapping message against his wall at night. Every night he laid in bed and listened to it until it stopped, his fingers resting against the cold wall, trying not to tap it in answer…

In conclusion, his love life sucked. As per usual.

A terrible sigh escaped his lips and he turned his head around, hiding his face into the surface of his notes.

"Oi, Kuroo," Azuma, his classmate, called in a low voice.

"Leave me alone…" He mumbled, voice smothered.

"You drama queen, will you stop brooding like a baby? You knew where this was going, didn't you?"

Only a growl answered him and Azuma sighed.

"Look, the mid-terms are _tomorrow_ , are you up for the lab exam or do I have to switch partners?"

"Fuck you. I'm good to go." He mumbled.

"Good, you'd better not fuck it up because you're longingly staring at Akane from afar the entire time… like you did all week long…" Azuma added in a low voice, "By the way, now that you and Akane are off each other, do you mind if I ask her out?"

Kuroo lifted up his head, glaring threateningly at his classmate who only chuckled, lifting up his hands in defence.

"Sorry, sorry! I'm just joking~!"

"Bad joke. Next time I won't consider it a joke." Kuroo mumbled.

He noticed Akane putting her stuff in her bag then he groaned, hiding his face once again. Azuma sighed again, shaking his head as he stared at him.

"Who would have thought that you'd be so pathetic when pining after a girl? If you feel that terrible, just ask another girl out, it'll keep your mind off Akane. Also, you just have to ask because they're lining up to get to you." Azuma said with a shrug, grabbing his bag and standing up.

Kuroo looked up, as if an idea had hit him. That was it. That was how he had handled it the first time – casual sex with anyone that went by.

"See you tomorrow for the exam!" Azuma said as he walked away.

Kuroo gathered his stuff then stood up, glancing around and noticing a few girls occasionally glancing his way and chuckling with red cheeks. Right. He might have been pathetic, but he was still good-looking. As he walked by, he stared intensely at a girl who was just his type, looking her up and down the way he knew girls loved. She caught his eyes and was breathless a moment, turning red then he winked with a smirk and walked out of the amphitheatre.

He leaned against a wall, waiting for the girl to come out and the moment she noticed him she let her friends go ahead and joined him.

"Hey," she said as she arrived.

"Hey… I noticed lately but… you have amazing eyes," he said with his usual seductive smirk.

She stared at him with boring, brown eyes, nothing like the fiery reddish eyes of Akane.

"Yours aren't bad either," she answered, not looking very impressed.

"You are–"

"Kuroo, _yes_." She said, stopping him in his track.

"…Yes, _what?"_ He asked, confused.

"Yes, I want to have sex with you. I don't know what's wrong with you lately, but you used to be a lot smoother than that. Come on." She said, suddenly grabbing his hand and pulling him towards a nearby hall.

Well. Azuma was right, it was easy.

They found an empty place and she started kissing his lips, a little hesitantly at first. He was about to kiss her back before switching immediately to her neck, kissing and sucking until she moaned, their bodies pressed together. It felt like he was on an automatic mode, not really aware of what he was doing and thinking about it. Even less felt anything. When it was Akane, it was so different – she touched him, he was on fire, she kissed him, he was losing his mind, she–

He suddenly pulled away, grabbing the girl's shoulders and keeping her at some distance. He stared at the floor while she stared at him in disbelief.

"…I'm sorry… I can't." He said, shaking lightly his head.

She kept staring at him until a bitter chuckle escaped her throat:

" _Right_ … I guess my friend from Nekoma was wrong. She said you hooked up with plenty of girls because you didn't want to get attached to anyone. But you don't do that when you're already attached, uh?"

He looked at her, sadly, and she pushed herself off the wall.

"It wasn't even _that_ good." She said, making him pout in slight annoyance, "Akane is pining just as much as you, but you wouldn't know because you're just too lost in your own pitifulness… By the way, I'm losing my bet right now so hurry up to confess to her, will you?" She continued as she walked away.

"Wait– what bet? _What_ bet?!" He exclaimed, but never got any answer other than a wave of her hand.

He let himself drop against the wall. Not only he was becoming pathetic, but he suddenly sucked at having sex.

 _Great_. He thought, a terrible sigh escaping his lips but not lighting the weight of his heart in any way.

The only good point about pining after Akane was that his only way out was studying and studying and studying. To get her out of his mind _and_ with the hope that perhaps, they could go back to being rivals. It was just a big lie, he knew it, but he kept hoping for it. A way out. Another illusion, like their 'no strings attached' had been.

So he was more than ready for the mid-terms exams, he only worried a little for the practical exams in the afternoon because Akane would be close and it'll be hard to not stare at her like a kicked kitty… Just before the mid-terms would start, he saw Akane enter the amphitheatre in a hurry, looking exhausted and slightly panicked, he realized that she wasn't as confident as usual. He had never seen her like that, but once again… she had never had to be broken-hearted for studying, so he hoped she was as broken-hearted as he was, as sad as it sounded…

The written exam went smoothly, he even finished a little in advance and looked around. Everyone was hurrying to finish the last exercises and he couldn't help but glance at Akane. She was staring helplessly at one of the most complicated exercises – he looked down at his own copy. He remembered that what was in this exercise had been studied the following day she ended things between them, the very day she had missed. Damn, the one and only time she missed a class and the exam ended up on that… She was clearly panicking, her eyes teary and…

"It ends in fifteen minutes," the teacher announced.

This exercise was a third of the total grade, if Akane didn't have it it'd… it'd be terrible and she knew it as well as he did.

Just like he had wanted to avoid getting broken-hearted, she had wanted to avoid getting distracted from her studies. They were both getting what they had tried avoiding.

He glanced around and noticed that the teachers were all distracted or weren't paying him any attention. He took his pen again. Akane was just two ranks under him, within earshot. And he started taping with his pen. Nothing that would seem strange at first for anyone hearing, just a nervous tapping like anyone would do. But after a few repetitions of the same message in a loop, Akane caught on it. She froze and almost turned around, listening carefully as he used the wabun code he had learned thanks to her messages against the wall. He gave her the equations that were blocking her then, Akane whipped around, staring at him with wide, panicked eyes.

He stared back at her, then nodded lightly, looking down at his copy. He didn't dare meet her eyes again.

She knew he knew. She knew he understood her message every night.

When, long seconds later, he looked back up, she was writing on her paper, but she was shaking like a leaf, obviously holding back tears of panic. Just because she had found out he knew about her feelings for him. Why would she be so shaken up…? Was it that terrible…?

He waited for the end of the exam announced by the teacher, Akane finishing just at the last minute. She stood up first and ran downstairs, giving her exam then running out of the door, everyone staring at her, stunned by her unusual behaviour. Tetsurou stood up frenetically, ran down the stairs and gave his paper as well and hurried after her, seeing her at the other side of the hall.

"Akane! Akane, wait!" He called;

She ignored him and he ran faster until he could grab her arm and turn her around. A sob escaped her lips as she looked up at him, tears running down her cheeks. He had never seen her cry so terribly, he was suddenly helpless.

"What!" She shouted, but not having the strength to go away from him.

"W-we… we need to talk… right?" He asked, trying to be as gentle as possible.

She stared at him, sniffed then shook her head, wiping away her tears.

"About _what?_ The fact that you know wabun code? That you _know?"_

"Come on… we… we have a lot of things unsaid… You're clearly not okay. _I'm_ not okay with things as they are! Maybe we could… we could _try_ …?" He continued, sounding hopeful.

"Try _what?_ More sex-friends? An actual relationship? You know it's never going to work–"

"We don't know that!"

" _I know!_ I know because I'm _not_ – I… I can't have a relationship! Not with you, not with anyone! I can't afford it!" she exclaimed.

"Because you, being completely panicked right now, is clearly having no effect on your studies!"

"It's not even about _that!_ I'm…! I'm broken-hearted, I have been for _years_ , I can't be with someone like that!"

"Because some asshole broke your heart?" He repeated in disbelief, "You think Kohaku didn't break _my_ heart and trust when I found out she had been lying to me? When she left and replaced me within _weeks?!"_ He shouted, now the two being close to make a scene as more and more students came out of the amphitheatres and watched the events, "Who cares about that guy! It's in the past! Even if he broke your heart, it doesn't matter anymore, _I'm here!"_ He exclaimed, putting his hand on his heart almost desperately.

Akane stared at him, then she shook her head and started turning around.

"No, no! _No_ , you don't get to say that! Not _now!"_ She exclaimed, "You're too late!"

"Akane, please–" Tetsurou called, grabbing her hand once again.

She pulled away, suddenly stepping away and lifting up her hands:

"Don't you get it?! It's YOU! You're the one who broke my heart years ago!" She shouted, her voice breaking as a new flow of tears streamed down her cheeks.

Tetsurou opened his lips, eyes wide, but was unable to find anything to say…

"B-but… but you never… you never confessed, I never rejected you…" He hesitated, confused and panicked.

"You didn't have to…" She whispered.

" _You_ rejected me! You suddenly closed off! We were _friends_ and suddenly you didn't even look at me!" He shouted, remembering their third-year of middle-school.

She turned back towards him so suddenly he startled and stepped away, intimidated by her fiery, burning eyes:

"And YOU! You are the one who said I didn't matter and laughed about it with your friends!"

Tetsurou shook his head in confusion, not understand what she talked about until… a flashback came back in mind…

" _Oi, Kuroo!" One of his classmate suddenly called, running to him, "Where are you going? There's no club today!"_

" _I'm going to see Saito," he answered with a smile._

 _His group of friends all looked at each other, smirking teasingly:_

" _Of course you are~! You're going to confess, right~?"_

" _What!"_

 _Young Tetsurou, barely understanding his feelings, was suddenly too embarrassed to do or say anything other than trying to deny what was obvious. He knew it himself, he was in love with Akane, but he was too shy to ask her out – she wasn't feeling good lately, he was just worried b-but…_

" _N-not at all! It's not like that at all!" Tetsurou exclaimed, blushing terribly._

" _But she's your best friend – there's no way a boy and girl can be best friends like that! You're totally in love with her!"_

" _You're in love with Saito, Kuroo is in love with Saito~!" Another sung teasingly._

" _S-shut up! It's not like that at all! It's just– it doesn't matter! She's not even important for me!" He exclaimed, immediately feeling a bitter taste in his mouth._

 _His friends didn't believe him, of course, laughing and teasing him. They all heard the sound of books falling down and papers flying and when they turned around, Tetsurou paled. Akane was staring at him with wide, shaken eyes, tears in her eyes. She had heard everything._

" _S-saito…"_

" _Oh damn…" His classmate mumbled, realizing his mistake._

" _S-Saito, wait! I didn't mean it!" Tetsurou exclaimed, going after her but it was too late and her heart was broken._

Tetsurou breathed hard, looking back at Akane, as broken-hearted as she had been years ago… Was it why she suddenly closed off? From him, from everyone? Why she cut her hair? Why she became so cold? Because of him and his mindless words? And yet… she was still feeling enough for him to tap 'I love you' against his wall… No, it had to be something else–

"Akane… _I_ …" He started, voice breaking.

"Don't bother…" She murmured sadly, wiping away her tears and turning around.

"Akane, I was a kid… I didn't… I didn't know… I didn't know anything back then… I was a fool!" He exclaimed, trying to follow her.

"…Yes, you were. But it doesn't change anything."

He thought she would leave but she changed her mind at the last moment and turned around, looking up at him, in a mix of disappointment and betrayal:

"You didn't look at me in years and suddenly, _you_ … is it because you understood what I tapped on the wall? You thought it'd be fun? That I'd be easy to hook up with?" She said, voice icy.

"No! No, never! I didn't – I didn't do any of this because of that…! I swear! Akane, please…!" Tetsurou continued, breathless and almost begging.

He tried to reach her hands but she stepped away.

"Don't. Don't touch me… Don't approach me… ever… you've done enough…" She whispered, turning around to leave once and for all.

He watched her leave, panicked, broken-hearted and unable to do anything…

Akane had been in love with him all these years but because of his stupidity, she had thought he didn't care about her. Because she closed off from him, he stopped trying to reach for her and they became rivals. Because they were rivals, he smothered his feelings for her until it was all forgotten in the back of his heart and mind. Then, they ended up neighbours, he found out about her feelings and he… fell in love with her all over again. She had told him 'I love you' when they had made love to each other for the first time, because of a drunken night. They had known all along there was more than sex between them but they ignored it out of fear. The possibility of spending time together was more important that risking their hearts. It was all so stupid, if only they had been honest with each other, with their feelings for _one_ another…!

They had grown up but they were making mistakes as stupid as when they were just kids…

 _A few days later…_

Akane was desperately trying to study to catch up with what she had messed up at the mid-term exam but she couldn't focus. Her mind was full for Tetsurou. No matter what she did, she always saw him. She saw his cute smile, she heard his dorky laugh, she could still feel the way his messy hair felt under her fingers when she watched him sleep in this weird position… She thought about how warm and safe she felt in his arms and _right now_ she felt cold, she thought about the way he made her heart beat and _right now_ her heart hurt…

Groaning, she dropped her head on the table, hitting it repeatedly.

 _Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot… You knew you shouldn't have done anything with him. Why did you even ask him to become sex-friends? There was no way you could keep your feelings hidden, or keep them from growing. Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot… why did you tap against his wall 'I love you' for so damn long? Of course he'd find out eventually… Idiot, idiot, idio–_

"Akane?"

She looked up, not caring if she had tears in her eyes, and saw Kiku and Shiori, looking at her in surprise.

"Akane, are you all right?" Kiku asked, approaching her and taking out a handkerchief.

It almost made Akane cry for good. She looked away, and took the handkerchief but didn't use it while the two girls surrounded her.

"What are you doing here? The science library is at the other side of the campus, isn't it?" Shiori asked.

Akane didn't answer, looking down at her pile of books and notes, wondering how discreetly and rapidly she could take it all and run away from the two girls. One was friend with Oikawa, girlfriend of Iwaizumi; the other was the cousin of Ushijima – all three men teammates of _Kuroo_.

Shiori and Kiku glanced at each other then back at Akane:

"Could it be… you're trying to avoid Kuroo-san?" Kiku asked.

Akane blushed and looked down, suddenly nervous and uncomfortable at how easily she had read her mind.

"Y-you k-know, then…" Akane muttered, cursing Kuroo for telling everything to everyone.

"In the big lines, yes," Shiori answered, sitting down in front of her while Kiku took a seat at her side.

"I don't understand why you would reject him if you like him so much, he definitely likes you too, you know…" Kiku continued.

"I-I have my reasons… I-I can't see him anymore, I can't…"

"But he's always on your mind?" Kiku said with a little side-smile.

Akane looked up at her, a little stunned then she sighed, while Shiori looked down, trying to not let the words get to her. Kiku suddenly lit up, as if an idea had struck her:

"I think you need to get away! Breathe a little, away from Tokyo! The summer holiday is next week, we could go somewhere, right?" She said, turning towards Shiori who narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously, "Shiori and I were just planning some holiday together! Come with us!"

"I can't go on _holiday_ like that – I have to study, and I have work and–"

"A few days can't hurt you, Akane-chan! You just need to get away, have some time for yourself, lots of girls talk! Spending time with friends is always good for you!" Kiku continued enthusiastically.

"F-friends?" Akane repeated, staring at her with teary eyes once again.

"We're friends, Akane-chan, you don't have to shut us away because we know your boyf- I mean, Kuroo-san. You're our friend before being his… _friendly_ acquaintance." Shiori answered, hesitating a little on the right label to use for Akane and Kuroo.

"Come on, take a few days off your job, I'm sure they won't hold it against you." Kiku encouraged.

"…I-I'll see… what I can do…" Akane answered hesitantly, looking down at her hands joined together.

"Great! Until then… let's go to the ice-cream parlor near the train station!" Shiori said, standing up and gathering Akane's stuff.

"W-what?" She hesitated.

"You have a broken heart, and there is nothing better than ice-cream to heal a broken heart," Shiori added, forcing Akane to stand up.

Shiori and Kiku took care of Akane and while they were eating ice-cream, Akane finally relaxed enough to talk about how _annoying_ , how incredibly annoying Kuroo had _always_ been – but Shiori and Kiku new that for Akane, 'annoying' meant 'amazing'.

"Kiku-chan, why didn't you tell Akane the boys would be here?" Shiori asked when they were on their way home.

"Because it wouldn't be fun otherwise, and she would have certainly said 'no'. But once we'll be at the meeting place, she won't be able to go away, even if Kuroo is here!" Kiku answered.

"I hope it's not going to make things worse between them…" Shiori sighed.

 _And a few days later…_

Tetsurou was yawning when he arrived near the meeting place with the rest of his friends. It had been planned for a while that during the summer holiday, they would all go together in one of the Kanemoto's summer house near the beach. A great house, summer holiday spent at the sea, volleyball, and being far away from Akane – he didn't have to be asked twice to volunteer.

"Yo!" He called when he saw them from afar.

Everyone was here, gathered around the two cars that would drive them there. Bokuto and his Ayaka, Akaashi and Ami as well, Ushijima and his cousin Shiori, Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Kiku…

"Hey, hey! You've arrived!" Bokuto exclaimed, raising his arms to the sky.

"It's gonna be so much fun!" Kuroo said when he arrived.

"One more person and we're good to go~!" Ayaka said.

"One more? Who?" Kuroo asked.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

He froze, recognizing this voice. Slowly, he turned around and was face-to-face with Saito Akane.

Ah.

One more person. Right.

Now he understood better why Bokuto had been so eager to persuade him to go, with an entire speech about how great it'll make him feel about Akane after their break-up, if they had had any relationship to begin with.

Akane and Tetsurou stared at each other warily, remembering everything that had happened and how much they were trying to avoid each other. Then, in perfect synchronizing they turned towards their group of friends:

"What is SHE doing here?!" He exclaimed, pointing at her.

"What is HE doing here?!" She exclaimed in the same time.

* * *

 _OBVIOUSLY there's more to Akane than just Kuroo saying these mindless words that caused her to push him away; and yes, that was what she had been about to tell him before she had been interrupted in the pillow-talk and yes that's because she was about to reveal to him what had happened that she realized they were going too far and needed to stop._

 _Ever wanted beach volley haikyuu? Cause you'll get it for the next few chapters - along with love sotries, conflicts, pining, more pining, and lovely moments for AkaKuro as well as ShioKawa~! ;D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : THORNED HEART_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	17. Thorned Heart

_Hey! Last chapter for the next month because I'll be on an archeological site and I might not have internet/time/energy to write or post another chapter! :) I am literally posting this chapter at the airport lol! (which is also why there aren't many quotes in this chapter ")_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : Don't worry about these two! ;) And like I said last chapter, there is moe than just Kuroo's mindless words to have caused Akane to shut out everyone and especially him. That's a total headcanon of mine, that Kuroo had a twin brother - it's not even a serious headcanon, it's just because I couldn't think of something no one, including Kenma, wouldn't know 'll see how and when Kiku and Shiori became friends in the Oikawa fanfic! ;) Okay, so there won't be much sexual stuff but you know it's definitely happening in the rooms when the couples are locked behind the doors lol._

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : 'Waffles' is my new favorite expression! XD I hope you'll like where it'll go then! ;)_

 _ **booklover2098** : Everyone is going to psuh them together lol, but they don't even have tot ry so hard because Akane and Kuroo are like magnets._

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : It's not evevn a joke and expect it next chapter! XD_

 _ **Erzebeth K** : I'm so glad you like this fanfic and Akane! She is probably my favorite OC that I created for haikyuu! I'm really nervous about writing complete bullshit about biochemistry now ahah... "Kuroo you sexy dumbass" is probably his biography._

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XVII : Thorned Heart

" _We're locked in this game of ever changing love. One day friends, one day lovers, but always together."_

— **W.D.W**

" _Maybe by the time summer's done I'll be able to be honest, capable of holding you in my arms without letting you fall, when I don't feel beautiful or stable."_

— **Lana Del Rey, "Change," Lust For Life**

" _Those who are hardest to love need it the most."_

— **Socrates**

" _Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind."_

— **William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream**

" _You touch me like I am everything you asked god for. Underneath your hands I become poetry. This is the alchemy that you do."_

— **, Love Poems**

" _The mind can't explain it, and you can't make it go away. It's called love."_

— **Lois Lowry**

" _I do want someone, need someone. You were right. And when I'm with you, I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier, less alone. Less lonely. But it's not as simple as that, is it? Being with someone."_

— **Naomi Campbell, Skins**

" _He who dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose."_

— **Anne** **Brontë, The Narrow Way**

"What is SHE doing here?!" Tetsurou exclaimed, pointing at Akane.

"What is HE doing here?!" She exclaimed in the same time.

They turned towards each other, eyes flashing:

"I talked first!" She said.

"I talked _first!_ What are you doing here?! I thought it was supposed to be a holiday with just us?! You didn't mention this, you owl-horned bastard!" Kuroo continued, approaching dangerously Bokuto.

He raised his hands to try to calm him down:

"C-chill, Kuroo! I had assumed you knew, really! Also, the girls invited Akane after I told you about the plans!"

"It was my decision to invite Akane-chan, she was all alone for the holidays otherwise," Kiku intervened.

Kuroo opened and closed his lips, glancing between Bokuto and Kiku then he pulled at his hair and hid his face.

"…I can see I'm unwanted. I won't go, after all." Akane decided, grabbing her bag and turning around.

"No, no, no!"

"Akane-chan, come on!"

"It's gonna be fun!"

The girls all ran to her, holding her back and trying to convince her by all talking in the same time.

Kuroo turned back towards Bokuto and grabbed his arm, forcing him to walk away from the girls' earshot.

"You did it on purpose, didn't you?!" He hissed.

"NO! Maybe… just a little…" Bokuto admitted, sweating nervously at the way Kuroo was staring at him, "Look! You were miserable and sad, and so was Akane – and we had talked about going to this trip all together _before_ you two broke up, so… we assumed it was still okay for the two of you to go!"

"I had not told anything to Akane before we– and _yet_ , you guys went and asked her to come as well! You know she doesn't want to see me anymore! What am I going to do all week when she'll be here all the time?!" Kuroo exclaimed, grabbing his friend's shoulders and panicking a little.

"Calm down! You don't have to talk to her! If you avoid each other, it'll be okay! We're numerous so we probably won't be all together all the time, right? As long as you two don't mess up the atmosphere, it'll be okay!"

Kuroo hesitated then glanced over his shoulder, Akane apparently receiving the same speech from the girls… There were eleven people, there was no way he and Akane would spend all this time together.

He turned back towards Bokuto, pointing a threatening finger to him:

"I swear that if you guys always ditch us to force Akane and I to spend time together I'm going to bury you in the sand and leave you there to dry!" He hissed.

"AHAHA! Then, you're coming! Great! AKAAANAE! You're coming too, right?!"

"Geh…" Was her answer.

"Yeah, she's coming!" Ayaka exclaimed, having a firm hold on her arm.

Kuroo rolled his eyes, Akane was probably held captive by now.

"Then, let's go! Everyone in the cars!" Bokuto exclaimed, clapping in his hands, "Ushiwaka! You have the address, right? You know how to get there?"

"Yes, I do. And Shiori will use the GPS on her phone if we get lost on the way." He answered with a nod, approaching his car.

"We'll meet there, then! Be safe on the road!" Ayaka exclaimed, dragging Akane towards the Bokuto car.

"Hold on, everyone, isn't there a little problem of number?" Akaashi intervened, pointing at the two cars.

Everyone stared and counted. Eleven people… with two cars of only five seats each.

"Ah…" Bokuto realized.

"Don't tell me you hadn't even thought about whether or not we'd all fit in the cars…" Iwaizumi sighed.

"It's fine! Someone just has to sit on someone else's laps!" Oikawa exclaimed, "It's only two hours, right? If we stop at some point, it'll be bearable. A girl wouldn't be too heavy!"

"I'd have Ayaka on my laps, but I'm driving," Bokuto said.

"I can sit on Keiji's laps, then!" Ami exclaimed, surrounding her boyfriend's arm.

"I'm not going to bear it for two hours in this heat…" He answered, frowning lightly.

"I don't mind if you sit on my laps," Hajime told Kiku.

"I'm not the one driving with a sixth person on someone's laps," Ushijima said, frowning, "It's against the rules."

"Then we'll go in Bokuto's car." He said, shrugging.

"BUT! I wanted to be in the same car as you, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Then–"

"I want Akaaashi in my car so we can catch up and he can see how good of a driver I am!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"We have all week, Bokuto-san–"

"Buuut!"

"You are exhausting," Shiori sighed, "I'll go in Bokuto's car and sit on Kuroo's laps if he doesn't mind."

Kuroo opened his lips to answer but Akane reacted first:

" _Excuse me?!_ Who do you think you are? That the girls would sit on their boyfriends' laps is one thing but you can't sit on someone who is single!"

"Ouch…" Kuroo muttered while Shiori took a defensive stance.

"See! She's jealous and possessive of you, it's a good sign, right?" Bokuto exclaimed, elbowing Kuroo.

"Shut up!"

Bokuto then had a brilliant idea – Kuroo _saw_ it in his eyes but didn't have time to stop him:

"THEN! Akane-chan, you can sit on Kuroo's laps!"

Akane stared at Bokuto, then glanced at Kuroo and shook her head:

"How does it change anything?! I can't go on someone's laps!"

"Why not?"

"He's single, it wouldn't– it's not–!"

"Who else should sit on his laps? We're not going to get anywhere otherwise," Bokuto continued.

"But that's– I'm too heavy!" She exclaimed.

"I'm pretty sure he had you sitting on him plenty of times already," Oikawa commented, earning a glare from both Tetsurou and Akane but he gave them a smile, "You two have a history together, it'd be totally suitable for you to sit on him rather than Sasaki-san or anyone else."

"Why don't you have Shiori sitting on _your_ laps, then?" Kuroo asked.

Oikawa gasped, flushing while Shiori looked away, cheeks a little red as well.

"Come on, guys, just two hours!" Bokuto said, looking pleadingly at the two.

He made his owlet eyes and Kuroo made a disgusted face. He glanced at Akane who glanced up at him, they both sighed heavily.

"At one condition!" He exclaimed, "The moment I say she's too heavy and we need a break, you stop the car, got it?!"

"Got it!"

"And I wanted to take a nap on the way there…" Kuroo mumbled, shoulders going down.

"Nothing stops you from doing so," Akaashi commented as they all went towards the two different cars to fill them.

"…I'm never going to be restful enough to sleep…" he answered in a low voice so Akane wouldn't hear.

Akaashi looked amused as Ami approached:

"Why do you look so tired, didn't you sleep well last night?"

"I didn't want to leave my motorcycle untouched for a week so I got up early to leave it in my mom's garage…" He explained.

"Right, Bokuto-san mentioned that you had gotten your driving licence and were now driving a motorcycle." Akaashi said, remembering the few conversations he had had with his friend about it.

"If I had known, I would have left my bags to Bokuto and driven to the beach on the motorcycle. That would have kept me from having to be tortured for two hours."

"I'm certain it's a torture you can endure, Kuroo-san," Akaashi said, patting his shoulder as he opened the door for Ami.

As everyone filled the cars, Bokuto and Ushijima finished dividing the luggages and discussed one last time about the address then entered their cars.

"Everyone ready?" Bokuto asked, checking a few things and giving his stuff to Ayaka who was in the passenger seat next to him, "Still breathing back there, Kuroo?"

"For now." He answered.

"Just, if I see some police officers, Akane, could you like… lie down at everyone's feet?"

"No problem."

Kuroo wanted to adjust his uncomfortable position but he didn't want to move when Akane was sitting on his laps. He tried to put his hands on his sides, then over his stomach, they hovered over her thighs but he finally put them on the sides, feeling terribly uncomfortable as the car started. Between the vibrations, the heat and Akane on top of him, it'll be impossible to rest even for a minute until they've arrived…

 _About fifteen minutes later…_

"And he said he wouldn't be able to be restful enough to sleep…" Akaashi commented in a mocking voice, glancing at Kuroo, deeply asleep.

"He's just like a cat, sleeping anywhere he is," Ami said with an amused smile.

Akane glanced over her shoulder and sighed, remaining still. It hadn't taken long, despite the music and loud voice of Bokuto, for Tetsurou to drop his head against her back and be deep asleep.

"He's making me sweat even more now that he's using me as a pillow…" She mumbled.

"You can open the window if it's too hot," Bokuto commented, even though he had put the air conditioning, he could understand why the ones behind, all squeezed together wouldn't feel much of it.

"It's okay," she said, not wanting to say that she didn't want Tetsurou to catch a cold if he was getting fresh air on top of sweating…

Then she frowned because of a weird sensation on her back that didn't feel quite like sweating and turned slightly towards Ami who was to her right:

"…Is he drooling on me?"

Ami turned her head around to observe then chuckled:

"A little, he looks peaceful though."

"Well that's comforting, if he's drooling on my shirt…" Akane mumbled, closing her eyes in annoyance.

But she didn't move to bother him. She had _hoped_ Tetsurou would sleep only for a little while then wake up, but he slept the entire way. His heavy head on her back, his hands lazily resting on her thighs, occasionally drooling or snoring… It had been an _enchanting_ trip. And when they arrived and Bokuto stopped the music, shouting they had arrived, Tetsurou startled awake.

"Uh… we're there already?" He asked sleepily, yawning.

"Slept well?" Akane asked, turning around to glance at him.

He looked up then seemed to realize that, firstly, he had Akane on his laps, secondly, his hands were on her thighs, and thirdly… he had slept on her.

He tried to pull away but was already against the seat. Akane opened the door and struggled outside while he was realizing that his neck and back hurt from the uncomfortable position he had slept in. He struggled to exit the car as well, his long legs wobbly and he almost fell over. He stretched his back, pouting.

"Geeh… on the way back, I'll be the one sitting on you…" He mumbled, "I can't feel my neck anymore…"

"If you hadn't fallen asleep on me in such a weird position, you wouldn't feel sore." She replied with a huff.

"I wouldn't have fallen asleep if the heat hadn't made me collapse."

"Oh~ I make you feel that much heat?" She mocked.

"Rather, you were so heavy and sweaty that I was intoxicated," he answered with an annoyed smirk.

The others just stared at them bantering.

"…Are they always like that?" Ami asked Ayaka.

"I'd say… they're feeling better, right?" Ayaka asked her boyfriend who nodded.

"My plan is already working – they're not sulking or depressed anymore!"

"But these two arguing is an improvement?" Akaashi asked hesitantly.

"Of course! Oi! Kuroo!"

He just had time to look up as Bokuto threw him his bag, almost making him fall over.

"OI! Warn next time!"

"Let's get our stuff in the house while waiting for the others to arrive!" Bokuto said, grabbing a few more bags.

"I'll open the door for you, Kou," Ayaka said, following him.

Kuroo, Akane, Akaashi and Ami finally looked around and opened wide eyes.

"That's… _that's_ the Kanemoto house?" Akane asked, pointing at the big, summer house.

" _That's_ where we're staying?"

It was big and modern but with traditional touches here and there. It was near a big tourist avenue and about five minutes from there, there was the beach and the ocean.

"H-how rich are your friends, exactly…?" Akane asked worriedly, looking up at Tetsurou.

"Richer than you think. I believe it's one of the mansions that used to belong to Takahashi that the Kanemoto inherited when he turned out to be the reason of their almost-ruin." Akaashi explained, "Don't mention it to Ayaka-san though, she's still pretty shaken up by it all."

Akane only nodded, a little stunned to spend time with such amazing people.

"Let's bring the rest of the bags," Akaashi said, grabbing a few that were left.

"I wonder where the others are, though. They left right behind us, didn't they?" Kuroo said.

"They probably got lost."

"It's practically a straight line from Tokyo, they're not that stupid, are they?"

 _Meanwhile…_

"What were you thinking, looking at an old map, Ushiwaka?!" Oikawa hissed, leaning over the seat.

"It never happened before, everything was clearly written, I don't understand what happened," He answered frowning.

"Should I remind you that when you decided to use your phone's GPS it sent us the other way around?" Iwaizumi growled, leaning forward as well to glare at his friend.

"I didn't notice there was a mistake in the kanji!" Oikawa whined.

"You imbecile!"

" _IWA-CHAN!"_

"Don't raise your voices," Ushijima said.

"Someone stop the music we can't hear each other anymore," Kiku intervened.

"The music is relaxing."

"No, it's not! It's making us all sleepy, you're gonna get us into an accident!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"No, we won't!"

"We wouldn't be there if you had agreed to put on good music from the start!"

"What does that have anything to do with us getting lost, Shittykawa?!" Iwaizumi said, frowning at his friend.

"Calm down everyone, we're on our way now," Shiori said, giving the indications to her cousin from her phone, "Kiku-chan, could you call Ayaka-chan and tell her we're going to be late? Of… about two hours because of these proud idiots?"

"What? I can't hear you with them screaming?"

Shiori sighed, as the voices of all three men raised even higher in the car.

 _Back to the beach house…_

"I didn't understand everything with all the background shouting, but they got lost on the way and will be late," Ayaka explained, ending the phone call and looking back at the others.

"How could they get lost?" Kuroo asked, shaking his head.

"It doesn't matter, we can just wait for them! Let's explore the house!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"Bokuto-san, wait–" Akaashi started, going after him.

Kuroo watched them go away, hesitating in joining them.

"You can take a nap if you're still tired," Ayaka told him, "We are going to buy some lunch for everyone."

"I'm fine, but I think–"

A crashing sound following by Akaashi angrily shouting "BOKUTO-SAN" resonated and Ayaka closed her eyes with a sigh.

"…I think I'll keep an eye on your boyfriend. He's so excited that Akaashi is overwhelmed, and he's lost the habit of looking after him."

"Thank you. Then, we'll be back soon!" Ayaka exclaimed.

Tetsurou looked over his shoulder just as Akane did the same. They immediately looked away from each other.

The ones from Ushijima's car arrived around the time the others were finishing lunch, having left some for the late-ones. Of course, Oikawa and Ushijima were still arguing, while explaining why they had gotten lost on their way. In the afternoon, they all divided their work between going for the week's groceries and cleaning the house that had been unoccupied for a while.

"I'll go for the groceries, I'll take Kuroo and Oikawa to help if you don't mind, guys," Bokuto said.

"Ooosss!"

"Are you sure we can entrust this mission to all three of them?" Iwaizumi asked worriedly.

"Sshh, they're capable of doing groceries and while they're absent, we'll have a little bit of peace," Kiku told him, elbowing him lightly.

"Right, no arguing between Oikawa and Ushiwaka, no depressed look from Kuroo and Akane. It's gonna be a long week, isn't it?"

"Before you go," Ayaka intervened, "We should decide of the bedrooms. There are two bathrooms upstairs, and four bedrooms. We're obviously too numerous so… I thought that perhaps two couples could take two rooms, and the last two would be for the boys and the girls? Does that sound okay for everyone?"

"It's your house, so you and Bokuto-san should stay in one room," Akaashi said with a smile, "And Iwaizumi-san and Akiyama-san don't get to see each other too often so you should take the other room."

"Is it really okay for you? You and Ami-chan might want to spend the nights together too." Iwaizumi answered, even though he was holding Kiku's hand tightly.

"It's okay, we can spend nights together all the time, but you live in different prefectures," Ami said.

"Then, it's decided! Meanwhile, everyone, write down anything you want, need or can think of on the groceries' list!" Ayaka continued, giving them a paper that was passed from hand to hand.

"You're well-organized, Ayaka-chan," Akane remarked.

"Thank you~!"

"Of course she is!" Bokuto piped in happily, "She's the future co-head of the Kanemoto Group after all! She _has_ to be organized! And she is brilliant, she's my Ayaka after all!"

"Kou, you don't have to shout it in front of everyone…" She answered, a little embarrassed.

Akane stared at them, a little stunned to see how happy-go-lucky they were. They were so obviously in love and happy together, she wished–

She stopped her line of thoughts with a shake of her head and gave the paper to Oikawa and Iwaizumi who wrote down their favourite snacks. She didn't notice that Shiori had remarked her far-away look and sad gaze.

Once the boys had somehow managed to get lost on the way to the supermarket, argue in the supermarket, get lost _in_ the supermarket, managed to get everything (and more) that was on the list in the car and came back… everyone else was done with the cleaning and Kiku volunteered to prepare dinner.

"How long will it take? Do we have time to go running? I haven't done enough exercise today," Ushijima asked her.

"Be back in an hour," she answered.

"Oooh! I'll go too! I'm not tired enough!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"I'll go too!"

"I'm not going to lose to Ushiwaka!"

"Guess I'll go too, then~!"

"…Someone has to watch the time and keep you from overtraining, so I'll join," Akaashi concluded with a sigh.

"We'll prepare dinner while you're running, then~!" Shiori said.

The boys all started going towards the stairs to get change in their training gear.

"Kiku-chan~! I'll help you with dinner!" Ayaka exclaimed.

"Ah, thank–"

"NO!" Akaashi shouted, turning around suddenly.

"No, no, no, no! Don't! No!" Bokuto added.

Everyone turned to them as Bokuto ran to his girlfriend and pulled her away from the kitchen, earning confused looks from everyone else.

"Do NOT let Ayaka in the kitchen! Not even for a glass of water! Do NOT let her help with food or the kitchen will burn!" Bokuto exclaimed, looking firmly at all the girls.

Confused, they all looked at each other while Ayaka was pouting in his back.

"…Come on, it's not like she's going to set it all to fire, no matter how clumsy or bad at cooking she can be…" Akane said, shaking lightly her head.

Akaashi and Bokuto both shook their heads vividly while Kuroo was trying to smother his laugh.

"Believe me… you don't want to try." Bokuto said, turning pale.

"There is a reason _why_ , since our first-year, Ayaka-san is _banned_ from the kitchen. Do _not_ let her enter it, is it understood?"

"…I guess…?" Akane answered, everyone looking confused, and slightly afraid of Ayaka.

"I'm not _that_ terrible at cooking…" She mumbled, arms crossed over her chest.

"You are." Akaashi and Bokuto both said in the same voice.

"Waah… you're off kitchen-duty then, Ayaka…" Shiori concluded, not wanting to tempt the devil if these two were so scared – Bokuto was one thing, but if _Akaashi_ as well… the danger was real.

 _The following day…_

"The ocean!"

"The beach!"

"It's been so long!"

All the boys stared at the sparkling blue sea in excitement, impatient to dive in.

"Last one to the sea is a fish!" Bokuto exclaimed, taking off his shirt in a swift move and already running there.

"Hold on!" Ayaka exclaimed, jumping in front of her boyfriend.

The ones who had been about to go running into the sea all stopped.

"You need to put on some sunscreen," Akaashi said, handing a few tubes of sunscreen to everyone.

"You're going to cook like a lobster if you don't put some on," Iwaizumi added, helping out mothering the hype ones.

They grumbled but obeyed anyway, putting on sunscreen. While Ayaka was putting some on Koutarou's back, Oikawa was applying some for Kuroo who suddenly turned towards Bokuto:

"I'm done! Last one to the sea is a fish!" He exclaimed, suddenly running off.

"O-oi! WAIT FOR ME! Kuroo!" Bokuto shouted, running off as well, sunscreen only half applied.

"Wait! You traitors!" Oikawa exclaimed, hurrying to finish applying the sunscreen on his body, "Iwa-chan! My back! Hurry!"

"I'm busy," he answered, being applied sunscreen on his back.

"Geaaawaah!"

"I'll apply it for you, I'm not competing to go to the sea anyway," Ushijima said, taking the sunscreen from Oikawa.

Before he could say no, Ushiwaka was applying sunscreen and as soon as he could, Oikawa ran after the two others who were splashing and fighting in the water.

"Having all three of them in one team seems exhausting…" Akaashi commented as he finished applying sunscreen on Ami's shoulders.

"It is," Iwaizumi sighed, "And I'm not here full-time so it's Ushijima who must suffer most."

"All my condolences then."

"Thank you?" Ushijima answered while he helped Shiori who was helping Ayaka who was grumbling about Koutarou abandoning her.

Once finished, they all started moving to join the others, in a reasonable pace.

"You're not going to swim, Kiku-chan?" Shiori asked, realizing the girl was staying behind and didn't take off her jacket.

"Ah, no, I'm not a fan of swimming so I'll stay here for now," she answered, sitting under a parasol and taking out a book.

"I can stay with you if you want," Iwaizumi said, already taking a step towards her, realizing _why_ she wouldn't go swimming in public.

"No, you were looking forward to it, so go join the others. I'll go swim later, I promise," she said with a reassuring smile.

He hesitated but when he heard Oikawa call him from afar, he nodded and joined the others. In the end, Ushijima was the last one to leave and slowly enter the water.

"Ushiwaka! You're a fish!" Bokuto exclaimed when he arrived, pointing at him happily.

"Gyojima! Ushigyo!" Kuroo cheered, Oikawa laughing at that.

"Don't mind!" Shiori said, her cousin rolling his eyes.

"Let's swim all the way to the floating thing over there!" Bokuto exclaimed, suddenly starting swimming.

"Wait! Don't go too far away! It's dangerous!" Ami exclaimed, "Are they even listening…?"

Keiji chuckled, shaking his head and kissing her cheek before following the group of hyperactive ones – they were so excited they might get hurt and sink. Shiori and Ami, who weren't as sportive as the others, just watched them swim back and forth until the initial excitement was replaced by tired muscles.

"By the way, where is Akane-chan?" Ayaka asked, looking around.

Kuroo stiffened, glancing around and noticing that she wasn't around. He hadn't seen her since they had arrived at the beach and he had been so excited that he had forgotten to make sure she had enough sunscreen on her body or that she was following. Worry made his heart feel tight but suddenly, Shiori cried out:

"Ah! She's with Kiku-chan!" She exclaimed, pointing at the group of towels gathered for them.

He sighed in relief to see her laying down next to Kiku, the two girls discussing with smiles on their faces.

"I'm going out of the water for the moment, let's go back later," Iwaizumi said, feeling the need to be close to Kiku.

"I'm hungry so I'll go too!" Bokuto exclaimed, following him quickly.

"AH! Bokuto-san! Don't splash water on my hair!" Ami exclaimed, hiding behind Akaashi.

"Hold on, Kou!" Ayaka exclaimed, jumping on his back.

He easily carried her as they all decided to follow. Everyone on the beach looked with mouths hanging open as this group of athletes built like Greek gods walked by, dripping in water, as for the girls they were just as admired.

"Look at them coming here like heroes who just conquered the sea, everyone is drooling," Akane remarked from afar as they arrived.

"Well, they're drool-worthy, aren't they?" Kiku chuckled, staring particularly at her boyfriend.

Akane's gaze shifted towards Kuroo, who put a hand through his wet hair, her body suddenly burning for him. He was talking with Oikawa about something that got them every excited. Whatever it was, it peeked Shiori's interest because she jumped forward and joined in. It had taken a long moment but Oikawa _finally_ noticed that Shiori was wearing a swimming suit and after the initial shock, he looked away with a flush on his cheeks.

"I think that this week is going to get some of us a little closer, won't it?" Kiku said excitedly when she noticed this.

She then glanced at Akane with a knowing look on her face. Akane stopped breathing and opened her lips to deny, knowing very well what she was trying to say but then, their friends arrived and Kiku started distributing drinks and food they had prepared for the hungry stomachs.

Hajime dropped beside her, kissing her cheek then nuzzling her.

"Ah! You're all wet!" She exclaimed with a laugh, before leaning into his chest.

She loved the contrast of the fresh water dripping on the hot skin and she relaxed. He kissed the top of her head while they ate and continued their little things. Some discussed (Oikawa, Kuroo and Shiori continued their discussion about aliens hiding in the depths of the seas, which had started from talking about Pacific Rim – then, Ushijima and Iwaizumi, and practically everyone joined in the conversation, then it switched to other alien theories and alien movies and then– anyway), some also played cards, then _everyone_ played cards, then they went for more swimming, then they came back to dry and continued having fun.

At lunch they went back to the house and spent some time napping or reading books, before being motivated to go back to the beach – even if some were _always_ motivated.

"Where did Kuroo go?" Ayaka asked when they realized he was missing.

"I think he was in the garden earlier?" Shiori hesitated.

They were packing the bags for the afternoon.

"Akane-chan, could you try to find him?" Kiku asked her, "We'll finish packing up."

Akane gave her a long, unamused look but then, she sighed and stood up, going into the garden in the back of the house. She looked around and noticed a mass on one of the hammocks. She approached, noticing Kuroo napping like a cat, head gathered in his arms to try to keep his eyes from getting sunshine, and one leg almost dropping off the hammock. She was about to shake him awake when she hesitated, staring at his restful face for a moment. She was moved in ways she wasn't expecting, her heart warming up and beating a little faster just to see him so peacefully sleeping. Her fingers trembled against the warm skin of his bare shoulder and she shook him lightly. Tetsurou whined a little and opened his eyes, barely reacting when he saw Akane.

"Mmmnn?"

"W-we're moving, if you want to go back to the beach," she said in a surprising soft voice.

Tetsurou, still sleepy, felt like going back to sleep, lulled by the sweet voice of Akane but then, he realized that the softness of her tone had come from Akane, and that she was looking down at him like… it was indescribable. The way she looked at him, the way it made him feel.

Suddenly overwhelmed and feeling a little too hot, he moved, nodding silently. She nodded and went back into the house and he sat up and stared at her leaving. He sighed deeply, putting a hand over his chest and feeling it beat strongly even through the fabric of his shirt.

The afternoon was as much fun, everyone going into little groups at some point either because some were thirsty or hungry, or because they wanted to see the beachside and explore, or because they got distracted…

"Guys!" Shiori called when she came back from her walk with Wakatoshi, "There are volleyball nets on the other side of the beach!"

"Volleyball?" Kuroo repeated, looking up from the cards he was playing with Bokuto.

"Let's go!" He exclaimed, already standing up.

"We said we'd go shopping the rest of the afternoon, let's go tomorrow instead," Akane said, coming back from swimming with Ami.

"Oi! It's not fair that _we_ …" Kuroo answered, voice trailing off.

He looked up, mesmerized and suddenly very hot when he stared at Akane who was absentmindedly drying her hair to keep it from it from dripping on her books. He had made sure not to look too much in her direction when she was in her swimming suit but he had unconsciously looked up to talk to her and now he was… he wasn't even regretting it. She was breath-taking in her red bikini, her curvy body covered in water.

Akane looked down at him, raising an eyebrow:

"If we go to the volleyball place _now_ , you guys are never going to stop. We're going shopping this afternoon as we had planned and tomorrow you'll spend the entire day playing volleyball in the sand."

"O-okay…" He answered in a squeaky voice.

Bokuto chuckled loudly at his reaction while Akane just hesitated, confused about what had just happened. Kuroo turned back towards his friend and kicked his leg.

"Let's go swim a little longer! Kiku is finally going there!" Ayaka exclaimed, about to go back swimming.

"Don't," Oikawa intervened, sitting on his towel and watching from afar Kiku and Iwaizumi swimming.

"Why not?"

"It took a lot for Kiku-chan to go swimming when there's still so many people around, it's probably thanks to Iwa-chan keeping her safe. Don't go bother them now…" He explained with a shrug.

"Why doesn't she want to go swimming or even take off her jacket?" Shiori asked, sitting down on her towel, a few meters away from Oikawa.

"Ah, uh… you should ask her, I don't know if I can talk about it!" He answered hesitantly.

They all glanced at each other curiously. Kiku and Iwaizumi came back.. She hurried to wrap herself up with her towel but the others still caught sight of scars covering her back – which was why she probably didn't want to go swimming in front of people. They didn't comment anything, respecting her silence on the topic.

Once everyone was dry and ready to move, they made their way towards the shopping district as planned. The girls wanted other swimming suits and the boys hadn't packed enough beach towels so that was the day's objective. Of course, instead of looking for only swimming suits, the girls ended up trying on a hell lot of new clothes and accessories while the boys, instead of looking for beach towels, just tried on funny hats and sunglasses then got distracted.

When Akane came out of the clothes shop before the others, she realised that the boys had all disappeared. She sighed, deciding to try to gather the lost beasts while the girls finished. She went around, finding Ushijima and Akaashi who were discussing in a shadowed place but the others were all missing.

"They'll come back here when they'll be bored or hungry, don't worry about them," Akaashi said with a smile, "As long as Ayaka-san isn't on her own, it's all right."

"It's true that Kanemoto has very bad orientation skills." Ushijima nodded.

"Come on, how could she get lost? There is only one way in this street," Akane said, pointing in the only direction to go to or from.

"Don't underestimate her clumsiness, like her lack of culinary talent," Akaashi said with a shake of her head.

 _Meanwhile, in the mall…_

Ayaka called Bokuto, suddenly lost in the maze of clothes – at some point, she had lost sight of the girls and now she had no idea where she was and they weren't answering their phones. After explaining to her boyfriend the situation, he told her to not move and was on his way to get her back… She sighed, sitting on a nearby bench to wait for him. She didn't understand why everything looked so alike, it was so easy getting lost because of that…

While Ayaka was waiting for her boyfriend and saviour, Akane decided to leave the two quiet boys to explore a few more shops, and look for Kur– _the others_. She found something that made her smile and bought it on a whim. A little later, she was trying on sunglasses when she noticed a tall and familiar figure. She put down the sunglasses to go after Kuroo but she stopped when she saw that he was talking with a girl, flushing and rubbing the back of his neck. She stared at them for a while, hearing them laugh then she turned around, her heart squeezing painfully. She walked away, glancing down at the little packet she had bought earlier and didn't notice she walked right into someone.

"Hey, you're okay?" Oikawa asked when he noticed how disturbed she was.

"I-I, y-yeah… I'm going back to the house, can you tell the others?" She asked, suddenly escaping him.

"Sure?"

He wondered if she felt bad as she hurried away. He glanced around and noticed Kuroo who was finishing to talk with the girl who was advising him on something he was buying.

 _Ah. That's why_. He realized, before a smirk appeared on his face.

"Kuroo~!" He called, hurrying towards his friend.

When Akane arrived at the house, she let out a heavy breath, closing her eyes momentarily and covering them with her hands.

She couldn't get jealous now, she wasn't even the jealous type so why did she run away when she saw him flirt with this girl? Were they even flirting? She couldn't tell anymore.

Akane decided to try to relax and regain her calm before the others would come back, and decided to discreetly leave her gift in Kuroo's bag so that he wouldn't know she was the one to have offered him this. Even if he might figure it out or ask the others. She entered the boys' room, a complete mess after one day, obviously, and easily found the bag from Kuroo. She recognized his clothes that she used to cover up her little package, a smile on her lips. She was so focused on her little hiding that she didn't hear when the summer house's door opened, or the steps running upstairs, or someone suddenly stopping at the entrance.

"So, you're digging into my stuff now?"

Akane startled and whipped around, seeing Kuroo standing in the doorway. He was frowning, he hurried to kneel in front of his bag, putting the ones he had been carrying aside, as he grumbled:

"I came because Oikawa told me you weren't feeling well and I find you _there!_ I swear that if you messed with my…"

Akane stared with her mouth hanging open as he found the gift destined for him. Tetsurou hesitated, looking up at her in confusion. She flushed and looked away.

"What…?" She mumbled, "I-I can't even do that…?"

"It's for _me?_ You're offering me a gift? W-why?" he hesitated.

"…It'd look silly on you so…" She mumbled, "A-also… I wanted to thank you for… what happened between us. Accepting my terms and respecting it when I… ended it all… a-and… you always take naps trying to hide from the sun so you won't need to do so with that…" She explained in a sheepish voice.

Tetsurou hesitated, his heart beating so fast it was making his fingers clumsy around the little package. He started pulling at the wrapping paper and found the gift. He chuckled, lifting up the pair of sunglasses, but instead of round, dark glasses, it was cat-shaped. It _would_ look silly on him.

"You're such a… I love–"

They froze, staring at each other and turning red, hearts beating warmly.

"I-I love _it_ … it's great! Thank you!" Tetsurou stammered, realizing he had been about to let out _"I love you"_ by mistake.

He didn't even feel _that_ strongly for her, did he? _Did he?_

Trying to hide his embarrassment, he reached for the plastic bag of what he had bought earlier, handing it to her:

"I-I bought it for you, earlier… I-I heard you talk to Kiku about how your bag wasn't big enough to carry everything you needed s-so…"

Akane stared in disbelief at the plastic bag she was now holding. She hadn't expected him to hear her, or care enough to find a new bag…

"It'd look silly on you, so…" He added, echoing her words from earlier.

She stared at them then took out the bag, much bigger than the one she had brought. It was white and covered in lots of tiny _maneki-neko_. She chuckled, letting it down on top of her thighs to stare at him, smiling to see her react like that. It _would_ look silly on her.

"Thank you. I love it." She said with an amused smile.

He chuckled lightly and they started staring at each other, time starting to stop making sense, the silence comfortable. They could hear their hearts echoing lovingly while they looked into each other's gazes, unable to look anywhere else, finding _something_ they loved more than anything.

"O-Oikawa told me you… weren't feeling well…" Kuroo started hesitantly.

"I… I'm feeling better now… I was just…"

She shook her head lightly, feeling silly for having been jealous earlier when Tetsurou just offered her a gift. Tetsurou suddenly reached out for her and she startled just as he delicately touched her forehead. She blushed as his fingers brushed her temple and her cheek.

"…You're… a little hot… Perhaps you should lean down…" He said, his fingers brushing her cheek then diving into her short hair then caressing his thumb over the soft skin.

"I… I… y-yes…" She answered, out of breath to be touched so delicately by Tetsurou.

Now that their skins were touching, they realized how much they had missed it and even if their hearts were resonating strongly in their chests out of love, echoing with a little bit of fear, they couldn't pull away. A touch of his fingers on her skin and she was feeling peaceful and warm once again.

They didn't realize when they started leaning towards each other, craving the other's taste. Eyes half-closed, lips trembling with every breath, hand still cupping her cheek… They were close to kissing, a warm, sweet kiss instead of all the hot, intense kisses they had shared until now… they knew what they were doing but couldn't help it, their bodies acted on their own, following the crazy orders given by their hearts.

"Akane! Kuroo!"

They startled and turned around as everyone gathered in the entrance of the boys' bedroom. They all fell silent, staring at Kuroo and Akane who turned red.

"…Sorry, we'll… leave you alone now…" Shiori said, starting to push the others away.

"No, no, no!"

"W-we're not!"

"We weren't–"

"I was just checking her fever!"

"Sure, you _were_ ," Bokuto snorted, helping Shiori force the curious others to leave.

Akane suddenly stood up and rushed out of the room, pushing the ones in the way before disappearing.

"A-Akane-chan! Wait!" Kiku called.

They turned back towards Kuroo:

"What did you do to the poor girl?" Kiku asked in disbelief.

Tetsurou dropped on his behind, bewildered and shaken. Not just because Akane had literally ran away from him, but also because of how sweet their kiss could have been. They had never kissed like that. It felt so much more than any of their passionate kisses until now, as if this kiss wasn't to satisfy their lust, but the desire to be closer. For their _hearts_ to be closer.

He dropped on the pile of futons and clothes, rolling around, hiding his blushing face in his hands and smothering his squeals while his legs beat the air and the floor.

"Man, he has it _bad_ ," Oikawa commented.

" _You_ don't get to say that!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, before pushing him, "Come on, let's give him some intimacy!"

"Iwa-chan, what do you _mean?"_

They all left, partly to prepare dinner, partly to give some time to Kuroo and partly to try to find Akane. Only Bokuto remained behind and approached his friend, kneeling down next to him. He noticed the bag and the sunglasses, realizing that the two had exchanged gifts, which explained their sudden closeness. He smiled, patting his shoulder comfortably.

"You're okay there, buddy?" He asked.

"I-I d-don't know… I don't know what I feel anymore…! I know I… I know I want to respect her wishes, she doesn't want to date, she doesn't want to fall in love with me and I agree and want the same but… but every time we spent a little bit of time together I just… I just…"

"Lose it? You can't help but wish for more? Reach for her hand? Stare longingly into her eyes? Pray for a kiss? She's the only one you see, who matters, who makes your heart beat _just_ the right way." Bokuto said with a knowing look on his face.

Tetsurou slowly sat up looking at his friend. He had a bit of panicked look on his face, even if his eyes seemed to finally understand what he felt for Akane.

It wasn't a crush. It wasn't being in love. It wasn't lust. It wasn't a childhood love.

"You love her…" Bokuto said in a low voice, putting his hand on his shoulder once again.

It was so much more than all of that.

"…What am I gonna do…?" Kuroo asked, looking scared and confused, so unlike his usual self.

He felt like he was back to being a child, seeing his mother breaking down because of another broken heart and broken trust. He felt like he was back in high-school, realizing that the girl he had started liking had only ever lied to him. Crying his heart out and drinking too much to smother the pain. He was scared to feel that way again. He felt betrayed by his own heart and convictions. He only wanted the easy way, so why did he keep messing up?

Bokuto opened and closed his lips, before shrugging:

"I don't know… I don't know what you can do because… it's _your_ choice, and Akane's. Ayaka and I's story was complicated too, but in a different way. But if I can give you an advice, it's that, ultimately… It's worth it. _All_ of it. All the fears, doubts and the pain you have to go through now, when you'll get to be with her – not like all the fucking around you two did before but… being _with her_ … Holding hands just like that, hugging because you feel like you need it, kissing just to feel her breath in your mouth, sleeping tightly together to feel safe… It's all worth it."

Tetsurou stared at him then, when he felt his eyes sting a little, he hid his face in his knees. Bokuto patted his shoulder once again then stood up to give him some time to work it out on his own. He was surprised to see Oikawa outside the room, leaning against the wall and looking in emptiness. Considering the look on his face, Bokuto understood that Oikawa had heard it all – and might feel just as shaken up as Kuroo was right now.

Smiling, Bokuto patted his shoulder in comfort. Oikawa looked up and he saw in the usually foolish Ace that he was there for him if he needed, or he'd leave him some time like for Kuroo. Looking down, Oikawa was left alone to deal with his stormy and smothering feelings.

"Aaaah…! All of them unable to figure out how they feel and wasting a considerable amount of happy time with their ladies!" Bokuto exclaimed when he arrived downstairs where the others were.

"You don't get to say that, Bokuto-san," Akaashi commented, helping out Ayaka and Ami with emptying the various bags from the beach day, "If I remember correctly – you wasted time hesitating being two girls (Ayaka rolled her eyes at that) for your 'Sowlmate', then you found out you were in love with Ayaka-san but left her to deal with Ushijima-san, then, she decided to choose her own way. But then, knowing she'd be expulsed at the end of the school-year, she didn't want to be with you and then–"

"Enough, enough, enough! AkeeASGHI! I get it, I get it!" Bokuto whined, blushing in embarrassment.

"–You confessed your feelings in front of the entire school, getting yourself in trouble but when–"

"AKKEEAASSGSHI!"

Everyone chuckled while Bokuto went to hug his Ayaka for comfort. She patted his hands, leaning against his chest, smiling fondly at the memories, even if back then, it wasn't so joyful.

"By the way– where is Akane-chan?" Bokuto asked, realizing she wasn't here.

"Are you trying to change the topic, Bokuto-san?" Akaashi asked with an amused smile.

" _AEEKAssghi!"_

"I went after her, but she shouted she needed to take a walk. I don't think we'll see her for a while now…" Shiori answered with a pout.

"Are you sure your plan is going to work out fine for Akane-chan and Kuroo-san?" Ayaka asked, looking up at her boyfriend.

"Sure, sure! It's gonna be okay! I think– probably!"

"I can't believe you are so enthusiastically positive all the while admitting it might go wrong," Iwaizumi commented, shaking his head.

"It's too bad she's gone when we said we'd watch Pacific Rim tonight!" Oikawa said, arriving with an excited smile, apparently feeling better.

"I hope she won't get in trouble…" Kiku murmured.

"She can handle herself, and she has our phone numbers anyway. If she's not back by midnight we'll go looking for her," Ami continued.

"…Pacific Rim is the alien movie we talked about this morning, right?" Ushijima asked.

"I _still_ can't believe you haven't watched Pacific Rim! Who _hasn't_ watched Pacific Rim?!" Oikawa continued, narrowing his eyes at the Super Ace.

Most of the people in the room lifted up their hands without even looking up from what they were doing, making Iwaizumi chuckle at Oikawa's face.

They spent the evening taking turns to wash in the bath for their bodies to get rid of the salt and sunscreen. They ate in the garden and once the dishes were clean – Ayaka insisted to help while Bokuto, Akaashi and the rest of the boys were busy trying to plug the tv and computer together to watch the movie; she broke four plates and three glasses by the time she was banned from the kitchen once again – they started gathering couches and comfortable pillows and covers to watch the movie. Akane still wasn't here and Kuroo was starting to worry, constantly checking between his phone and glancing at the door but Shiori had managed to get in touch with her – she was okay, just needing to breath a little after the eventful day, she'd be back around midnight. It didn't help him relax.

"Sasaki-san, the movie is about to start!" Oikawa said excitedly, carrying a few blankets to the others.

Everyone was gathered, except for Shiori who was sitting on the marches leading to the garden. She looked up at him, glanced down at her phone, apparently waiting for something. But she didn't move. Realizing she wasn't feeling very well, his excitement died down and he approached her slowly.

"Is everything okay?" Tooru asked.

"…He didn't call. He said he'd call and he hasn't answered my messages either…"

"…Your boyfriend, right?" He asked, his heart hurting a little upon knowing that the reason why she looked so gloom was her boyfriend.

"Yes… He…"

She looked down, still waiting for the phone call he had promised.

"He's probably busy…" She concluded in a low voice.

She hid her sadness well but it hurt Tooru so much, he knew she was hurting just as much. Not knowing what to do because comforting her would mean getting too close to her and her heart when they couldn't, he just pulled one of the cover from the pile he was carrying. He approached her and she looked up in surprise when he covered her shoulders with it, smiling softly:

"Come, the movie is about to start." He said.

Shiori opened and closed her lips before nodding and following him, shaken by the expression on his face and the soft, warm voice he had said. He wasn't trying to get her to spend time with him to replace Shouhei, he wasn't trying to get close to her… He was just genuinely looking out for her and wishing for her to spend time with her friends to have fun. She stared at his back as they entered the house. When was the last time someone had been so genuine with her?

 _Meanwhile…_

Akane was staring at the messages sent by Tetsurou earlier, apologizing for what he had tried to do when she had been clear about her feelings for him. She didn't want anything between them, and she had been hurt by his foolish words for years. She didn't want anything between them, right?

"That's a gloomy look to have when everyone is partying so much," the bartender remarked when he approached her again.

Akane looked up and put down her phone. The bartender smiled, trying to cheer her up before nodding at her empty glass.

"Another one? This one is on me," he said with a wink.

She only pushed the glass towards him as he filled it with a Jack and Coke. A very strong drink to begin the evening, he had commented earlier.

After running and walking for a while, she found herself wandering into the beach's biggest bar she had noticed. It had a tropical setting and she felt more like she was in Hawaii than in Japan. The heat was a little smothering inside with everyone dancing on happy songs, the colourful lights making it feel like they were in the middle of the day. It was completely different from the Gem's and yet there was a sense of familiarity. The bar and drinks, the dancing, the people getting so joyful they couldn't help but laugh at anything that was told to them. That was the happy side of her job – seeing people as they could truly be, if they just let go of what was holding them back from being happy. Alcohol had a tendency of revealing who you truly were. Unfortunately, in her case, drinking wasn't so joyful.

She started drinking the Jack and Coke, sighing terribly when she put it down. The bartender stared at her sadly, then tilted his head on a side.

"I think you need to open up, dearie. You look troubled. What happened for such a pretty thing like to wander here on her own?" He asked, leaning over the counter.

She stared at him, knowing very well how bartenders often became psychologists for the drunkards. She didn't want to talk but the alcohol was buzzing in her head, and despite herself her tongue untied:

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." She said, looking down, "I'm certain that I… I don't want anything to do with him, but he just… I can't stop thinking about him and every time we're together I just want to be into his arms and hear his stupid laugh…"

"Aaah, love trouble, isn't it~?" He concluded with a knowing smile, "He doesn't like you back?"

"It's not that– it's… it's complicated…"

"How come? Sometimes what seems complicated is actually a very simple problem with a very simple solution to it. It's like maths, you know? It seems impossible to solve but with the right formula, you can get it like that!" He continued, clicking his fingers.

She looked up at him, understanding very well the metaphor. She hesitated. She hadn't talked about her fears with anyone, not even with Tetsurou, but she had no one to talk with anyway and–

She thought back on the group of friends back at the summer house, probably worrying for her, probably thinking they were friends… And Tetsurou. She thought of Tetsurou and once again, he was stuck in her head and she couldn't forget him.

"If he likes you, and you quite obviously like _him_ , what's holding you back?" He continued.

"…I'm scared… I think…"

"Scared of what? Being rejected?"

"When he'll find out the truth, yeah… he… he deserves better… He's… he's so amazing, you know?" She continued, voice starting to be tight, "He's this brilliant student who had great grades for as long as I've known him and I've always wanted to be as great! Because, you know, he… he was also the Captain of the volleyball club– he is so _passionate!_ He's sweet and attentionate and when he gets excited about something he looks like a child but it's so… _so_ endearing! I just want to smother him in hugs and kisses! And he's– he's also so kind and open-minded, he's a darling, but mischievous and fun! I feel so good when I'm with him, I never felt this way for anyone else, _ever…!"_

"He sounds like a gem. Is he good-looking?"

"Oh, _gods_ … The hottest man to have _ever_ walked the earth." She answered with a chuckle.

"Damn, would you introduce him to me?" He asked with a wink.

She chuckled a little more, because of the alcohol. She looked down at her half-empty drink.

"When he touches me… it feels _real_ …" She said in a trembling voice, tears suddenly filling her eyes.

The way he touched her, the way he kissed her, the way he looked at her… She felt real and alive. He didn't look or touch her body, he saw her mind and touched her soul. He made her heart beat in pure joy. A smile appeared on her face, thinking back on all the moments they had shared together…

"…Why aren't you running to him right now?" The bartender asked.

She looked back up at him. She wanted to say that he had broken her heart back in middle-school, that he didn't try to hold onto her when she shut him out, desperately wishing for someone to see how hurt and scared she was… She wanted to say that she wasn't good with relationships. That she didn't want a relationship with him to mess up her studies, her only light and way out from her life. But it was all excuses.

"He deserves better…" She whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek, she didn't even realize it.

The bartender stared at her then tapped her forearm, forcing her to look up:

"Don't you think it's _his_ choice? Whether he deserves you or not? Whether he wants you or not, the good and the bad as well?" He asked gently.

She stared at him, opening and closing her lips.

If she told all that to Tetsurou, if she gave him the choice, she knew what he'd do. He'd bet on them, on whatever was good and pure between them. But he was just as scared as she was to fall in a love there was no going back from, he was just as frightened on getting his heart and trust broken once again. And when he'll find out the truth, because he will eventually, he'll reject her completely. He'll be disgusted, he'll hate her, he'll– they'll be both hurt. And whatever good and pure they had had would break and become as twisted as her thorned heart.

"I think that it's easy to fall in love," the bartender continued, "But keeping this love alive is hard. It hurts, it breaks. But if you keep fighting for it, it'll keep on burning bright. But it's a commitment to keep this love burning, and you need both people to keep it warm. If he decides that no matter what the bad makes you unworthy of his love, then the flame will go out, but if he decides to ignore it for all the _good_ that makes you _worthy_ …"

He just shrugged, pouring her another drink of Jack and Coke but she didn't even realize it.

"I think good and pure always win, regardless of how terrible the bad and dark can be. That's what fairytales are made of, right?" He said with a wink.

Akane looked thoughtful then glanced down at her phone once again to read his message once again. She scrolled up and up, finding all the messages he had sent her that night when he had come to get her at the Gem's to keep her safe. All these compliments. Her thumb brushed the phone screen, a tenderness growing in her heart, growing stronger than the thorns that were making it bleed.

 _His_ choice…? Could she give it to him? Even if she wasn't ready to tell him the truth? Even knowing what it might bring? Would he be stupidly brave, and a lovely fool, to reach for the rose despite the thorns?

She finished her drink, leaving a big tip to the bartender, then went back home calmly. When she arrived, all the lights were off and everyone was in bed, which would give her a little time to clean herself up and think, even though she was so tired she might fall asleep the moment she'll put her head on a pillow.

She intended to walk straight to the bathroom but she stopped when she noticed something on the kitchen's counter. A box of food with a handwritten message.

 _We kept your dinner! We hope you had a good meal when you were out, otherwise, if you're hungry, eat up!_

– _Kiku_

They were all so kind and sweet to her, treating her like a friend and yet, she couldn't bring herself to open her heart to any of them. It'd hurt if she got attached to them and ended up alone again…

A snore startled her and she turned around, her lips falling open when she noticed a mass on the couch.

Tetsurou was awkwardly sprawled over the couch, in an uncomfortable position. He wasn't even covered in anything but his clothes.

She approached him hesitantly, not knowing if she should wake him up… Unlike his afternoon nap earlier, he didn't look peaceful and he was holding something tightly in his hands. His phone. He was turned towards the entrance. Had he… No. She refused to think of the possibility he had been waiting for her or there'd be no going back from her feelings for him.

She didn't realize that Bokuto came downstairs, yawning, and stopped when he noticed Akane kneeling in front of Kuroo. He observed from afar, for _once_ , making himself discreet.

Hesitantly, she approached her hand, pushing away a few stands of Tetsurou's hair. He sighed and turned around but didn't wake up as she started caressing his hair and his frown eased up, his sleep seemed a little better. She leaned forward, her lips brushing his cheek. She hesitated then moved to whisper in his ear.

"…Someday… I promise… I'll love you with all of my heart, without fear…"

She moved away, as afraid as hopeful he'd wake up. But he only made that weird snoring sound he always did when he was sleeping soundly, getting in his weird position that gave him that bed hair. She turned around and grabbed a nearby cover to cover him up, he curled up under it while she smiled.

"I'll bring him upstairs so he can sleep better."

She jumped, almost screaming at the voice that had resonated just behind her. Akane stared at Bokuto, his eyes shining in the night like an owl's. She had almost had a heart-attack and he grinned, but she slapped his bare torso as punishment for scaring her.

"Ouch! And here I'm trying to help you out…" He mumbled, rubbing the red spot.

"You idiot! You scared me! I almost–"

She suddenly lowered her voice, glancing down at Tetsurou who didn't wake up. He always managed to sleep so deeply…

"If he sleeps here all night, he'll be cranky tomorrow and no one wants that. Just go upstairs and prepare for bed." Bokuto said, kneeling down to poke awake his friend.

"…Did he…"

Her voice broke as Bokuto smirked:

"Wait for you here until he fell asleep? Yeah."

Akane let out a shaky breath, eyes teary once again. And here went her heart. It was Tetsurou's, for good. There was no going back now.

* * *

 _BONUS_

 _[While Akane cleaned herself up and went to bed, Bokuto poked awake Kuroo who was too sleepy to walk with his eyes open so he got half-carried by his friend.]_

"You're heavy when you're sleepy, you know…" Bokuto mumbled.

"Mmmhn… Akane…?"

"No, I'm Bokuto. Akane is fine, she's in bed now, and you need to go there too."

"She's fine…" He repeated, a little more awake as they arrived upstairs, "I think I dreamt… of Akane… She was saying she loved me… no, that she _will_ love me…" He murmured, eyes sparkling in the darkness.

Bokuto stared at him, thinking back at what he had heard Akane say when she had whispered in his ear.

"Riiiiight… Are you sure it was a dream, though?" He asked, trying not to reveal it – Akane would rip his throat out otherwise.

Kuroo stared at him, confused and in love and sleepy – a bad combination for his brain cells.

"…What?"

"Nothing, sleep well." Bokuto said, leaving him at the entrance of the boys' room.

Kuroo entered it, almost walked on Oikawa then dropped in his futon. He sighed, closing his eyes to sleep when Bokuto's words hit him. He opened wide eyes, sitting up.

"…Holy shit!" He exclaimed in the darkness.

* * *

 _I'll see you in a month! At least it's a "happy" chapter compared to last one. I think you'll like this summer time because what you want is going to happen. I love writing about these dorks all together._

 _I hope you liked it~!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	18. Fireflies

_After so long, I must apologize. When I came back from Sicily I was exhausted and busy but Im' back in business! I'll update Aliens as soon as possible! Meanwhile, i believe this chapter will please you~! ;)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **jungkookies** : Thank you, but yes, the quantity is very normal! XD_

 _ **Lovelybaka** : L'ironie de Bokuto en Cupidon, et pourtant, il est pas mauvais~! ;) Il donne toujours les meilleurs conseils, y compris dans le manga. J'espère que tu seras satisfaite de la tournure des évènements! :3_

 _ **Erzebeth K** : I hope your exams went well! You'll have some tiniest bits of clues on the turth of what happened to Akane, but I can't tell you any more than that! ;) There's a fluffy ShioKawa moment too! ;D Addie will actually appear in this story, eh eh! :D As for Ushijima's story, it'll be a one-shot or maybe 2-3 chapters short story! :) I don't know when it'll be posted though, I still have to finish Akaashi's lol. _

_**booklover2098** : You have no idea how literal your review was! ;)_

 _ **PLAYLIST SONGS** : "All falls down" from ALan Walker feat Noah Cyrus (for the atmosphere at thebeach) ; "Say you love me" Jessie Ware; "This is what it takes" & "Fallin' all in you" from Shawn Mendes_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XVIII : Fireflies

" _You've got a war in your head And it's tearing you up inside."_

— **The Waterboys, This Is The Sea**

" _You see, a secret is not something untold. It's something which can't be told."_

— **Terence McKenna**

" _You can love someone so much. But if they don't want to be saved, nothing will save them. Not even love."_

— **Kristie Betts**

" _I only wanted you to f*ck me, but then I got greedy, I wanted you to love me."_

— **Sade Andria Zabala, Tracy Emin in Poems to All My Exes**

" _I'm a wretch. But I love, love."_

— **Jack Kerouac**

" _And she finds it difficult to believe — that a person would love her even when she isn't trying."_

— **Unknown**

" _Every love is unique. The chemistry that unfolds between two people is exclusive, unlike any other… and stands out in memory, forever."_

— **Bruce Adler**

" _It is more than love, barely less than madness. It's never close enough."_

― **C.J. Carlyon, The Cherry House**

" _I love it when I look out into a crowd to find your eyes already waiting to meet mine."_

— **Unknown**

" _I love you._

 _There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable."_

— **C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves**

" _We were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other; hopelessly."_

— **Vladimir Nabokov**

" _If you love deeply, you're going to get hurt badly. But it's still worth it."_

— **C.S. Lewis**

" _My point is this: the more you have to lose, the braver you are for standing up."_

— **Craig Silvey**

" _Don't kiss me if you're afraid of thunder. My life is a storm."_

— **Anita Krizzan**

" _Second chances are made to make things better, to make love sweeter and to correct mistakes."_

— **E.J. Cenita**

" _You have my whole heart. You always did."_

— **Cormac McCarthy, The Road**

" _We agreed to love each other madly."_

— **Jack Kerouac, On The Road**

" _I loved you on this day. I love this memory."_

— **Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Dir. Michel Gondry**

" _And I fell in love with him on that one magical night."_

— **Jeryl Y. Beckinsale**

"I'm going for a run in the sand, anyone wants to join?" Ushijima asked, already ready to go.

Everyone looked up and the boys, and Ayaka, all volunteered. Running was good for stamina, running in the sand was even better.

"Are you sure you will keep up with us, Ayaka-chan?" Oikawa asked curiously.

"She's faster than _me_ ," Bokuto commented as he walked by.

Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Ushijima, the only ones who didn't know how athletic and fast Ayaka could get, just stared at the girl, mildly frightened.

"You've got your answer," Ayaka told him with a sweet smile.

"We still need to finish preparing snacks and lunch," Akane remarked.

"What we can do is finish preparing everything and you'll run until you're satisfied and we'll meet directly at the beach. Shiori will take us to the spot with volleyball nets so you go there directly, okay?" Kiku said as she packed up the finished sandwiches.

"We'll carry your bags as well," Shiori said, glancing at the group of other bags that were waiting.

"Are you sure? It's gonna be a lot to carry," Iwaizumi said.

"I'll just put my towel and clothes in your bag it's one less to carry. Ami-chan and Ayaka-chan should do the same – Shi-chan too, in Wakatoshi's bag. And…"

She glanced at Akane who was finishing a few sandwiches. She looked up and ignored the burning gaze from the girl, as well as Kuroo's.

"…I can carry Kuroo and I's bags, it's not a problem." She said with a shrug.

Tetsurou was almost disappointed before realizing that Oikawa would have his bag carried as well, and it was reassuring to know he wasn't the only one failing at love or relationships.

Unfortunately, the moment they started running down the beach and alongside the ocean, Bokuto followed the same line of thoughts. Turning around, he ran backwards to look at the two:

"Y'know! It's funny cause you're both the most popular guys out of all of us, and yet, you suck at being in a relationship or just admitting your feelings for the girls!"

"Look in front of you instead of judging us!" Oikawa exclaimed in annoyed embarrassment.

"Who would have guessed that Oikawa Tooru, ~Prince of Seijou~, would be helpless in love?" Iwaizumi chuckled.

" _Iwa-chan!_ Don't tease me as well!"

"Maybe it's also because our 'girls' aren't available or as opened to dating as yours!" Kuroo exclaimed, narrowing his eyes.

"Exactly! We respect our girls' feelings!" Oikawa added vehemently.

"We all respect women, and especially our girlfriends," Akaashi answered for everyone, "You're just terrible at having a real relationship, despite being a sex god and a Don Juan!"

"…Which one am I?" Oikawa asked.

"It's obvious, isn't it?"

"Don Juan, pfff!" Iwaizumi chuckled.

" _IWA-CHAN!"_

While they were running on the entire length of the beach a few times, people started arriving and the girls finished preparing everything and calmly went to the spot with volleyball nets. They put the towels and parasols while waiting for their men to come back from running.

"I don't understand why a few towels and clothes can take so much room in one bag," Shiori said as she looked down at the big bag of her cousin.

She glanced at all the other bags, that were just as big.

"Ah, they're coming back," Ami said instead of answering Shiori.

They all turned towards the other side of the beach where the boys could be seen arriving. They probably decided to go for a last rush because they accelerated and Ayaka pulled ahead of them.

"Wow, she's really fast," Akane said with wide eyes.

But she was still clumsy and must have hit something because she fell down in the sand. Bokuto immediately stopped worriedly while the four others continued running. Kuroo was laughing so hard he fell down as well and Oikawa and Ushijima – who were just behind him – got tangled into the mess as well.

"Look, look, aren't they hot~?" A nearby girl said to her friends.

"You're right~! Especially the tallest one with dark hair and purple swimming suit!"

"I prefer the one with the messy hair, he's _really_ sexy!"

Akane glanced at the group of giggling girls when she heard that and the boys started recovering from their clumsy fall in the sand. Akaashi arrived safely and won the course, smiling proudly to have beaten all the National team beasts and obviously, Ami was overjoyed.

"Do you think I should talk to him when he comes by?" The girl interested by Kuroo asked her friends.

"Do it! Do it! And introduce us to his friends too!"

Akane didn't realise she was frowning until she stood up, moved forward with a parasol in her hands and planted it right in front of the group of girls:

"Come on, boys! Hurry up! The goal is here!" She shouted to them.

They were running again to find out who was the winner (after Akaashi). Akane glanced down, smirking, at the girls who had the sight ruined by the parasol and Akane standing there. They flushed and turned away, pretending to be busy and whispering to each other but they were still heard by Akane.

"T-too bad he's got a girlfriend already…"

"Do you think all these girls are their girlfriends?"

"There's one boy too many though."

"But which one is single then?"

Akane smirked, her friends shouting encouragements for the boys. Good luck trying to figure out who was taken then.

The boys finally arrived, behind Ayaka of course, and all of them were breathing like cows. They gulped down water, and food, then they all went swimming and like the previous day they enjoyed lots of tiny activities in-between swimming.

Akane was re-applying some sunscreen when Tetsurou came back from swimming, dropping on his towel next to hers and glancing around.

"…Where are Iwaizumi and Kiku-chan?" He asked.

"They went swimming," Akane answered.

"Eeeh, I didn't even notice them…"

He looked for them in the water for a little while before realizing he had just been too distracted to notice them. They were so numerous anyway that it was hard to keep up with everyone. He glanced around and realized that Akane and him were on their own for the moment. He flushed, but it probably was because of the sun.

"…You use it?" He asked, pointing at the bag next to Akane.

She turned towards it and smiled with flushed cheeks. It was the big bag he had offered her the previous day.

"Y-yes, it's very practical."

"Great."

He hesitated before reaching for his own bag and taking out the cat-shaped sunglasses. Akane chuckled as he put them on and laid down on his elbows with a sigh.

"It's nice." He said, hoping he wasn't directly in the sun and would get cat-shaped tan marks around his eyes.

Akane smiled a little more, staring at him and his dorky face. The wet hair was falling all around his face, not really making any more sense than when dry. It was longer than she would have imagined. Tetsurou put a hand through his hair, pushing it backwards and he would have looked _really_ sexy, if it weren't for these ridiculous sunglasses. But it made her heart warm and she realized that she much preferred it when he was being dorky and cute, than hot and sexy. Though, she'll never say no to hot and sexy.

The silence became comfortable between the two, then it became sad when they realized that as comfortable as they were with each other… they couldn't be more than what they were now. Friends, that used to be with benefits, who used to be in love with each other as kids, and now… they were something else, something more but they were too scared to take any risk.

They both thought back on the events of the last few days, how quickly things had changed. Akane ended things between them because they were getting too intimate, she had realized he had known about her feelings for him all along, they had argued and she had revealed she had been in love and broken-hearted for years… and now what? What were they supposed to do? What could they look forward to?

"Akane." Tetsurou spoke up, breaking the silence.

He sat up and turned to face her, taking off the sunglasses to look right into her eyes. Deep gold against reddish brown.

"You said the other day that you couldn't be with anyone because you were broken-hearted, because of _me_ … but it's more than just a broken heart that's holding you back, isn't it?"

Akane swallowed hard, realizing that Tetsurou was the _one_ person who could read her like an open book. _Always_.

" _Yes_." She said, voice breaking a little.

He stared at her, looked down, looking hesitant and conflicted… his hand trembled a little then he reached out for her hand. She saw it coming but didn't have the strength to pull away when he touched it so softly. They got used to the touch, then he entwined his fingers with hers. But that was it, they didn't do anything else except stare at each other.

"Do you… will you _ever_ talk to me about what happened to you to force you to shut out people?" He asked in a tight voice.

"…If I do… you'll never want to see me again…" She answered, shaking her head while tears filled her eyes.

"I-it can't be _that_ terrible, right? There's no way that whatever happened to you, or whatever you did, could be terrible enough to get me to _stop_ … would be terrible enough to erase my feelings for you? Or break what we have? What we _could_ have…?" He continued hesitantly, voice soft as he tried to comprehend what war she was going through.

"You… you wouldn't want of someone like me, you deserve better–"

"Don't you think it's _my_ choice?" He asked, voice rising a little.

Akane looked away, her fingers tightening around his. She sighed terribly, thinking back on what the bartender had told her last night.

" _Don't you think it's_ _ **his**_ _choice? Whether he deserves you or not? Whether he wants you or not, the good and the bad as well?"_

"…Would you choose me… _us_ , even not knowing the truth?" She asked, scared and hopeful in the same time.

"…I don't know." He admitted, looking down.

He suddenly pulled away, keeping his hands together as Akane stared at him sadly, wanting to reach out again. He looked so fragile and disappointed right now, and it was her fault.

"The only relationship I had, that I cared about enough, was with Kohaku. I wasn't in love with her, not really, but I liked her enough to enjoy what we had. She shut me out, she became colder and colder, just like you. But when you're in a relationship it's even harder. I tried to respect her and give her time, thinking she'll open up to me eventually… She didn't. And I found out she had been lying to me all along – probably because she thought she couldn't actually open up but… I don't want that again. I don't want to take the risk of getting broken-hearted over lies, or hidden truths, or secrets…"

Akane looked down, having known this. She knew that he wouldn't want of her if she kept the truth a secret, but she had hoped that maybe… he cared enough to give her more time…

"But…"

She looked up, surprised as he continued, looking confused and almost… scared of the words escaping his lips:

"I'm… I'm… my feelings for you… it's damn strong, okay? And… I like spending time with you… and… you've become really important to me, okay? A-and I don't want to lose any of that – spending time with you, _being_ with you… _all_ the time. Bantering over silly things, challenging each other on who is going to finish the homework first or who could eat an entire ice-cream faster… or going for groceries and argue on what we should eat… or keeping everything out of your reach… or watching movies together… sleeping together with clothes on… I-I want to try all that too…"

He hesitated even more, before clicking his tongue, confused with his own thoughts and his heartbeat way too fast to let him focus. He blushed, nervously putting a hand through his hair.

"I can understand that whatever happened to you is big enough that it traumatized you, and you're scared and you're not ready to talk about it… _But_ … if you think you can someday tell me, if you think you'll l-like me enough to be honest, _completely_ honest… I want to _try_. I want to try _us_ , at the condition that _someday_ , and not in ten years please, you'll tell me that terrible truth. So I can choose you, all over again." He said, looking back into her eyes.

Akane stared at him, her heart beating faster and her cheeks turning red. She was trembling from the intensity of her emotions… he was… willing to give her time to be ready to talk, while they'd get closer, more intimate, more comfortable with each other, _more_ … If they did fall even more in love with each other, would she be comfortable enough to trust that his love for her would be stronger than the feeling of betrayal that would fill his heart upon finding out the truth?

"I… could you… give me time to think about it…? About whether or not I… want to try _us_ too?" She asked in a low voice, not daring to meet his eyes.

He stared at her, heart beating fast and even if he was disappointed with this answer instead of a "yes", he'll take it… he needed to be understanding and give her the time she needed. If they went too fast again, they'll break each other's hearts again.

"Of course…" He answered in a breath.

She smiled to him and unlike all the smiles she had given him until now… it wasn't sad and it didn't feel like goodbye. It was enough to make him smile as well.

"I'm going to take a walk," she said quickly, needing to take time to think about what had just happened.

"Sure."

She put on a few clothes to be decent and walked away, looking troubled and happy and undecided.

Tetsurou sighed and fell down on his towel, hiding his face in his arms and whining but there was no one to hear him. It only took two minutes for Bokuto to come over:

"Hey, we saw you talking with Akane so we didn't come back, but what just happened? She left?"

"I… I think… I think I just asked her out…" Tetsurou answered, looking up hesitantly at his friend whose eyes widened.

"Ask out-ask out? Or just… ask out?"

"Ask out-ask out."

"Holy shit."

"You said it."

"Okay, we need an emergency reunion. GUYS! Come over!" He shouted, not noticing the narrowed gaze Kuroo sent his way.

Everyone, who had been waiting for Kuroo and Akane to finish talking, came out of the water, fearing the worst since they had seen Akane put on clothes and walk away. Bokuto summed up the situation quickly, despite Kuroo whining about it, and within seconds all the boys were sitting around Kuroo for a talk, while the girls went looking for Akane for _her_ talk.

"You really don't need to do that…" Kuroo mumbled, but grateful to his friends.

"You need to talk! Tell us what happened exactly!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"You already heard about it, it's all… it's all in Akane's hands… She's the one who will make the choice."

"Hopefully the girls will find her and convince her to go for it," Oikawa said with an encouraging smile.

Meanwhile, Akane was walking in circles, nervous and mumbling to herself, cheeks red. People were glancing at her then walking away, but she didn't seem to realize it. Every few meters she would turn in a different direction before continuing her way in the big shopping avenue and–

"Why are you so damn cute, Tetsurou?!" She suddenly shouted, grabbing her hair and shrieking loudly enough that a child started crying.

She startled at the cry, feeling a little guilty while the child's parents took him away. Akane sighed, calming down a little and going to sit on the nearest bench, looking down at the ground and her feet nervously bouncing around. She reached to pull nervously at her hair like she always did and started tangling her fingers through the way-too-short locks…

"Akane!"

"Akane-chan!"

Surprised, she looked up and saw all the girls coming to her. She blinked, surprised as they surrounded her:

"We heard what happened with Kuroo! What are you going to tell him?" Ayaka asked excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"W-wha…"

"Shh, Ayaka-chan! Give her time to think!" Shiori exclaimed, sitting right next to Akane.

"But if she doesn't have an answer soon, it's gonna get even weirder between Kuroo and her – and the boys are probably going to expect something to happen! Kuroo most of all! It must be agony to wait for her answer!" Ami continued.

"Let's just hear what Akane-chan has to say, okay?" Kiku said.

They all turned expectantly towards Akane, startling her.

"A-ah… u-um… I… I don't know… what I'll tell him…" She admitted, looking away.

"He said that he'd date you even if you don't tell him everything right away, right? He is _so_ in love with you that he's willing to ignore his fears to be with you! You are _obviously_ in love with him, so what are you waiting for to tell him you want the same thing?" Shiori continued.

"I saw Kuroo-san and Kohaku-chan's relationship up-close, the entire time they were together," Ayaka started before darkening, "And I saw what it did to him. He became a lot colder towards people he didn't know. There are a few exceptions of course but… it means a lot for him to ignore his fear of commitment to try and be with you, despite the potential of a broken-heart in the end."

Akane looked down while Ami shushed her friend:

"Ayaka! You can't say they're going to end up broken-hearted!"

"But! It's true! It's always a possibility in a relationship! If you're not honest with the person you love, it's going to break apart!"

Ami looked away, pouting a little but Kiku nodded:

"You're right. Honesty is probably the most important foundation of any relationship." She said, before turning towards Akane, "What happened that would convince you you can't tell Kuroo-san? I'm certain he'll never hold it against you, whatever it is."

"…You don't know what it is… you don't know anything." Akane murmured, looking down and darkening.

"Then tell us, we won't judge, promise!" Shiori continued.

Akane remained silent for a moment before looking up at Shiori with a cold gaze:

"And what about you? Why don't you tell us why you stay with this Shouhei when you're falling in love with Oikawa?" She asked.

Shiori froze, losing her smile and paling but before she could answer, Akane turned towards Ami and Ayaka:

"How about you tell us why your _perfect_ boyfriend seems to always be tired of dealing with you and you don't do anything to make his life easier?"

Ami startled guiltily.

"And you never said what happened that the name of Takahashi is forbidden to be shared in this house that used to belong to him."

Ayaka didn't react, just kept staring at Akane as finally, she turned towards Kiku:

"And why don't you tell us where you got these scars in your back? That's the reason why you don't take off your jacket, right? That's why you don't go swimming?"

Kiku looked down as Akane crossed her arms over her chest:

"See? We all have our dark secrets we don't want to share. It's the same for me. I owe you nothing." She said harshly.

"…Akane-chan." Kiku said softly, "The difference is… we opened up to our boyfriends. I can't talk for the others, but… it's not that I don't want to share what happened to me, I'm over it now. If you have questions, I'll answer to them. You don't have to answer to our questions if you don't feel ready to open up – that's the alternative Kuroo-san offered you, didn't he? Be with you until you feel ready to talk, right?"

Akane trembled then looked down in shame, realizing that she had gone back to her old habits of being cold and rude to anyone who approached her. She had probably hurt them all with these words.

"We can tell you're trying to protect yourself, it's okay," Ayaka added, crossing her arms over her chest, "But don't pretend we're not friend or we don't know anything about each other. And right now, the question isn't about whether or not you're ready to talk about what happened to you – you obviously aren't. It's whether or not you're ready to be with Kuroo and get close enough to his heart that you _will_ feel ready to talk to him."

"…It's the only thing that matters for you and him. As long as you're honest with him, as long as he knows there is something you must tell him but you both know you're not ready to share it… it'll be okay." Ami added, shrugging.

"I… I'm sorry… I-I was... I've been so… I'm sorry…" Akane murmured, unable to meet their eyes.

Kiku smiled, surrounding her shaking shoulders with her arm.

"So, are _you_ willing to try having a relationship with Kuroo-san?" Shiori asked.

Akane opened and closed her lips, before looking down.

"That's… what I'm trying to figure out…" She whispered, "I-I don't know… I-I know how I feel about him… and I know he's willing to try despite the secret but… but I'm _scared_ that when he'll find out the truth, he'll abandon me…"

Her voice broke and she covered her face with her hands, holding back the sobs.

"Do you really think so lowly of Kuroo-san?" Ayaka asked, leaning down to look at Akane's face, "He may pretend to be some smartass but he's very nice and looks out for others. He's been here for Koutarou and I many times, he's been here for Kenma his whole life, he's been here for first-years from another team he didn't even know… What do you think he will do for the woman he is in love with?"

Akane looked up slowly, remembering all the times she had seen Kuroo being here for others. He's always been the kind to look after others, his team and friends, his mother… Even when they were on cold terms and rivals back in high-school, he'd still look out for _her_.

" _I can understand that whatever happened to you is big enough that it traumatized you, and you're scared and you're not ready to talk about it…_ _ **But**_ _… if you think you can someday tell me, if you think you'll l-like me enough to be honest, completely honest… I want to_ _ **try**_ _. I want to try_ _ **us**_ _, at the condition that_ _ **someday**_ _, you'll tell me that terrible truth. So I can choose you, all over again."_

 _Would you really choose me all over again when you'll realize that I'm ruined forever?_ She thought to herself.

Akane opened her lips and without looking at any of her friends, she murmured that she needed more time. The girls blinked curiously but didn't push her.

When the girls went back to the beach, Kuroo and Akane didn't exactly avoid each other but when he realized that she wouldn't talk to him right away, he didn't push and kept his distance. In the same time, he was wondering if it was the right thing to do – the last time he had given time and distance to a girl he liked, she had broken his heart…

Noticing that Kuroo was overthinking and freaking out again, Bokuto decided to take matters into his own hands. He clapped his hands together, attracting everyone's attention to him:

"The volleyball courts are free now that the beginners left! Let's go play before lunch! And I won't take no as an answer!"

He grabbed Kuroo's arm, forcing him on his feet.

"Akaashi! Play with me and Kuroo! The Miyagi boys will play on the other team!" he exclaimed, "My Aya – stay with me. The girls, go wherever you want!"

"…I think I'll just do the referee…" Ami murmured, turning around to escape.

"No! Akeeasghi! Tell your girlfriend to play with us!" Bokuto exclaimed, grabbing her with the shoulder and pulling her so strongly she almost fell over.

"…We're one too many anyway, let her be the referee if she prefers," Akaashi answered, keeping his girlfriend close and away from Bokuto's rough handling.

Bokuto blinked, then seemed to realize the problem in numbers.

"Damn it! I want to be referee too, then!" Shiori exclaimed, "I'm not playing against this monster! His spikes are too strong he's going to hurt me again!" She exclaimed, pointing at her cousin.

"You know I don't meant to hurt you, but you don't receive the right way, that's why you get hurt." Wakatoshi said with the tone of voice that indicated that they had argued over this a million times already.

"Then, play _with_ us, this way you won't receive your cousin's monstruous spikes," Kiku said with a smile.

"So, it's gonna be Tokyo VS Miyagi!" Bokuto exclaimed excitedly.

"I think I'm gonna pass too," Akane said, sitting down on her towel and taking out a book from her bag.

"WHAT! No! you're joining us! We're not enough otherwise!" Bokuto exclaimed, frowning down at her.

"Just ask some random guy or girl, I'm sure they'd say yes just to stand by your side," she continued, putting on her sunglasses and intending to ignore any more bird cry.

Bokuto turned towards Kuroo, pouting angrily as he pointed at the middle-blocker's not-quite-girlfriend. Kuroo made a face and shrugged, silently telling him he couldn't fight against stubborn Akane but Bokuto insisted, stomping his foot down and about to throw a tantrum.

"What's wrong with you! I just want everyone to play volleyball so we can have good memories together! Kuroo, you're as stubborn as her, convince her!"

"Good memories of getting your arms ripped off…" Shiori repeated, looking away.

"Just how traumatized are you from volleyball?" Kiku asked worriedly.

Kuroo sighed then looked down at Akane who was trying to ignore them.

"Come on, play with us. It's gonna be fun!" He said.

She threw him a wary look and he started pouting, suddenly wanting her to play with them – not just for the sake of it and to satisfy Bokuto, but also because it'd mean he would win against her in a battle of stubbornness. Kuroo smirked, bending down then grabbed her legs, starting to pull her towards the volley ball nets.

"H-hey! What are you! Let go of my legs, Kuroo!"

"Nope."

"You idiot! You darn imbecile! Let go!" She exclaimed, losing her balance as he continued pulling her.

She was feeling the sand getting accumulated in places she didn't like and she kicked her legs but his hold on her ankles was too strong.

"Let me go! Don't drag me by the legs! The sand is getting everywhere!" She whined, grabbing Ushijima's ankle as she passed by.

He barely moved as Kuroo started pulling harder. Finally, after a moment of struggle, he turned back towards Akane who smirked at him. He didn't give up though, he just bent down again to pick her up, making her scream hysterically again. He lifted her up over his shoulder, carrying her like a bag while she kicked him and punched him and screamed bloody murder. Kuroo laughed the whole way until, as revenge, she grabbed his swimming suit and pulled up, making him shriek at the sudden, uncomfortable act. He grabbed her wrists, which made her scream even more and he continued walking while trying to arrange his swimming suit with one hand. Then he dropped her on the sand, right next to the volleyball nets.

"Right! We're all here!" Bokuto exclaimed as he counted – they had all followed the crazy couple, "Let's play!"

"Uuugh… I'm not playing, but I'll make sure to be a pain in your ass, Kuroo…" Akane mumbled, dropping completely on the sand and laying there.

"My~ It's actually tempting~!" He answered teasingly.

She glared at him as he started pushing her with his foot.

"Come on, get up, lazy cat," he said.

She started slapping his leg but he didn't give up – she was making sure not to use strength to hurt him and he could tell it. Despite how much she slapped, it was barely felt and finally, after a long moment of nonsense she got up, complaining about the sand that had gotten in her swimming suit.

Kuroo, and the rest of the boys, all urged on by the challenge _as per usual_ , were warming-up as well while the girls stared helplessly.

"…Did you even bring a volley ball to play?" Akane asked.

"Now that I think of it, we didn't pack any ball…" Ayaka realized.

The girls turned back towards the boys but each and every one of them had reached for their bags, and taken out a volley ball…

"…Why did you all take a volley ball with you?" Ami asked in disbelief.

"Wait! Is this why there is so little room in the bags?!" Kiku realized, "What is the point of bringing ten volley balls with you?! You _knew_ that one of you would take a volley ball during this holiday so _why_ did you all– you know what? Nevermind… Let's just play…"

"Ever heard of the word communication? You could have just decided that one of you would take a volley ball instead of all packing up your bags with so many balls…" Akane muttered.

"What if the one guy who would have brought the ball would have forgotten? What if it had deflated? Better safe than sorry!" Bokuto exclaimed, spinning his volley ball over his finger.

"…Then take only two. No need for ten…"

"Don't be ridiculous~! We only took five~!" Oikawa said.

"And I need munition to hit the back of his head," Iwaizumi said pointing at Oikawa.

"I-Iwa-chan!"

Iwaizumi laughed good-heartedly, leaving a worried Oikawa because he didn't know whether or not it was a joke. Akane sighed, following the rest of them– the rest of her _friends_ …

"We're setting up rules, though!" Ayaka exclaimed, " _Don't_ use your full strength boys! No jump serve either! No crazy play!"

"We're not stupid, we wouldn't go full-strength on you, you're fragile little things, after all~!" Kuroo said.

"I don't like the way he said it, like we couldn't handle it," Kiku said, narrowing her eyes.

"He's going to _regret_ saying that~!" Akane answered, hands on her hips as she stared at Kuroo threateningly.

He was surprised and stared back at her before chuckling so adorably that it was hard for Akane to not start giggling or fawn over him, but she somewhat managed to keep her challenging expression on.

"Oh yes~? Then I'm looking forward to it~!" He answered, looking down at her.

Akane and Tetsurou stared at each other challengingly but instead of their usual rivalry, the intense sparks between them almost turned into flowers as they looked away from each other, blushing and smiling like idiots. Tetsurou had a hand over his heart and Akane kept her hands on her warm cheeks.

Everyone stared at them.

"…They're totally unaware of it, aren't they?" Oikawa said, blinking.

"They're so obvious." Akaashi commented.

"It reminds me of someone else," Iwaizumi added without even having to glance at _said-person_ for everyone to know who he meant – _said-person_ ignored him as well.

"Nekoma had to deal with that for _years_ …" Bokuto remarked, impressed by their tenacity – but they were the cats, after all.

"Are they flirting or… are they challenging each other? I'm not sure?" Oikawa continued, tilting his head on a side.

"Probably both." Iwaizumi answered.

"They're so cute~!" Ayaka concluded, giggling adorably.

The moment the game started, the boys heated up and after three plays, they had completely forgotten about holding back for the girls. They were doing a lot more mistakes being on sand, not jumping as high as usual, but after just five minutes, the girls were trying their hardest to dodge the missiles– arhem, the _balls_ that were flying around.

"BEH! I swallowed sand again!" Kuroo whined after diving for a ball.

"Close your mouth when receiving! Bokuto-san!" Akaashi called, setting up the ball for his former Captain.

Ushijima touched the ball and Kiku managed to somewhat receive it and Oikawa spiked it but Kuroo's block was here (they had given up trying to keep some positions and were playing as if it was a three-on-three). It flew off and Ami had to dive to not get beheaded.

"U-um… point to… the Miyagi team…" She announced.

"Damn it! It got out!" Kuroo hissed.

"Ah ah~!" Oikawa hummed before sticking his tongue out at him.

"I'm gonna get it next time!"

Oikawa went for a full-power serve that got Ayaka screaming before it was received by Bokuto. Akaashi tossed to Kuroo. Shiori jumped down to avoid the ball, shrieking and covering her head with her hands.

"Yaay~!" Kuroo said, staring challengingly at Oikawa who gritted his teeth.

Akaashi leaned towards Bokuto, whispering into his ear:

"Are they flirting or are they challenging each other?" He said, echoing Oikawa's words earlier.

Bokuto laughed while Ushijima turned towards his cousin:

"Shiori, you have to receive the ball, not let it fly over your head. You should have tried an over-hand receive, like that," he said, mimicking the gesture.

" _Thank you_ – but my hands would have flown off!" She hissed, "There's no way I could catch onto any of these things without losing a limb! It's too fast, too strong!"

"It's not difficult," Ushijima said, picking up the ball.

"For _you_ ," Kiku said, helping Shiori up.

Ami glanced around, realizing that many of the people on the beach had decided to watch the intense match – or maybe they just wanted to admire a group of muscular boys sweating on the beach.

Ushijima was still trying to explain to the girls how to receive, to their great annoyance – Kiku _knew_ how to receive but couldn't when the balls were so powerful, and Shiori was just rolling her eyes because she had heard this since she was a child.

"Don't worry, I'll cover all the back to save the balls," Iwaizumi said, saving the two girls from more explanation.

"Okay," Ushijima said, nodding.

"Your boyfriend is so _cool_ ," Shiori whispered to Kiku who flushed and chuckled adorably.

And he did cover the back very well, saving most of the balls. Eventually, the girls all dodged and escape the court, sitting on the sidelines to watch their boyfriends play. The boys didn't even realize they were doing a three-on-three now.

At some point a ball flew right towards Ayaka and Akane. Ayaka had the reflex to dive in the sand, covering her head, but Akane didn't react so fast. She raised her arms and heard the ball hitting the flesh then a massive weight fell on top of her. Tetsurou, who had just dived to save her from the stray ball, rolled on the sand, growling. His torso was red from the impact and everyone immediately came forward:

"Tetsurou! I'm so sorry! Are you all right?!" Akane exclaimed, helping him sit up.

"Aaaagh…"

He leaned against her arms and she held him up, worried – he had never looked so terrible, it must have hurt and the impact was right above his heart. What if it injured him? The ribcage, his heart? What if–

"I'm touched… it's over for me now…" He whispered, rolling his eyes dramatically.

"What?" She asked.

"There's nothing left to do for me…" He continued before looking at her and cupping her cheek, "I am glad I got to see you one last time before my death… my only wish was to know that _you_ , of all people, would be safe and sound and keep on liv–"

Realizing he was just _acting_ injured, Akane's worried expression turned into one of exasperation as she dropped him on the sand. He gasped at the impact before laughing, everyone sighing and chuckling except Akane who stood up.

"Hold on, Akane! He's bruising!" Bokuto exclaimed, trying to get her back to nurse his friend.

"He's _fine!"_ She hissed, stomping away.

"Now that it's done, let's go have lunch, I'm getting hungry," Shiori said, deciding to stop the boys before they'd start another set of hell.

"Right! Food! Good idea!" Kuroo exclaimed, standing up.

"You're healthy as fuck, why did you pretend to be hurt?" Bokuto asked him.

"Because she pressed me against her breasts in her worry," Kuroo answered with a grin.

"Oh oh~! You bastard, nice one AHAH!"

"You are disgusting, all of you," Ami commented, rolling her eyes.

"By the way, who won the match?" Iwaizumi asked her.

"A-ah… uh…"

Akane heard from afar everyone suddenly yelling because at some point, Ami had stopped counting. She smiled lightly, amused despite herself at everyone. It was almost hard to believe she was having fun but she couldn't deny it. Knowing they'd come famished, she started taking out the piles of sandwiches, salads and onigiri or other foods they had prepared this morning – within minutes, the boys were stuffing themselves…

"How many stomachs do you have to eat all that?" Ayaka asked, staring at them in a mix of awe and worry.

"We tripled the quantity from yesterday – how can you still be hungry? Also, we underestimated the food you ingest and we'll have to go back for groceries tomorrow," Kiku said.

"I'll go this time," Ushijima proposed to keep Bokuto from using his car again.

"You'll get lost, for sure," Oikawa said snorting.

"No, I won't."

"Yes, you will."

"I won't."

"You will."

"All right! Let's not bet on whether he'll get lost or not! How hard can it be to find a supermarket anyway?" Iwaizumi continued.

Oikawa, Kuroo and Bokuto glanced at each other sheepishly, remembering the adventure when they had gotten lost on their way there two days ago…

"Nevermind, I had forgotten it was you dumbasses I was talking about…" Iwaizumi sighed, shaking his head.

"Let's go all three of us, then, I'm sure we won't get lost," Akaashi said.

"Sounds good to me."

"You'd better get lost or we'll never hear the end of it…" Oikawa mumbled, pouting a little.

Noticing that Shiori was taking out a book to read, he glanced at it curiously and she noticed his gaze and raised the cover a little higher to allow him to read the title.

"Poetry," she said.

"Oooh! What sort?" Ayaka asked, leaning forward, "And it's in English!"

"I prefer reading in its original version when I can, but I get stuck very easily… my English isn't that good…" Shiori admitted, "You read poetry, Ayaka-chan?"

"Not really, but… I remember that I talked about it during the Golden Week with Kenma-san… He mentioned something about Kuroo-san having found… what did he say already?" She asked, turning towards Akaashi.

"He said that Kuroo-san had found his soulmate in the works of a Russian poet of some sort – Kozume-san had seemed extremely exasperated."

They all turned towards Kuroo who blinked, confused about this, before remembering:

"Ah, right. It was a joke, though. I didn't read much of that guy's works but I found a few pearls. He's called Vladimir Mayakovsky and he went to Paris I think." He explained.

"What did he write? What is your favorite poetry he wrote?" Shiori asked curiously.

Kuroo grinned before straightening up and coughing a little for dramatic effect:

"He wrote it after his journey in Paris. _'My dick, like a mythical tale, has been passed from mouth to mouth~'!"_

They all groaned and Bokuto pushed him down, making Kuroo laugh as he fell over.

"You totally made that up just now! The guy probably never existed!" Iwaizumi said, rolling his eyes.

"He did! And I didn't make it up! You can check on internet!" Kuroo answered, and Iwaizumi immediately grabbed his phone to do so.

"Why am I not surprised it's the only poetry you learned from that guy?" Shiori muttered, shaking her head.

"It's not the only poetry I learned!" He exclaimed, offended.

"Really? Then give us another one?" Akaashi said, smiling.

Kuroo stopped smiling, and paused to think about it. Everyone started going back to their lunch, thinking he didn't know anything else and he had made it all up. But then, expression strangely serious, gaze focused and voice calm, he spoke up again:

" _Love, for us, is no paradise of arbours. To us, love tells us, humming, that the stalled motor of the heart has started to work again."_

They all remained silent, taking in the words, a lot more poetic than the previous one. Akane stared at Tetsurou with shining eyes – she had no idea he could enjoy poetry and what he had just quoted… it hit close to the heart. Their love, if it could be called that at this point, wasn't easy but at least, it was the proof that their hearts could _feel_ love.

"…A-anyway, I'm not much into poetry… but I really like the dick one." Kuroo continued, trying to hide his sudden embarrassment.

"Of course you do." Bokuto snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Holy shit, this guy really existed and wrote that…" Iwaizumi commented, eyes wide.

"Read more dick poetry then," Oikawa urged him on with a smirk, but he wasn't amused.

" _Boys_ …" Kiku sighed, rolling her eyes.

That night, they ate in the garden once again and decided to go dance and drink at a local bar Akane had told them about.

Shiori, Oikawa and Ushijima were gathering the plates and cutlery to clean it up when she suddenly stopped and looked up at the dark sky. It was night but it had a lighter shade than a clear sky, because of the clouds that had gathered there.

"Is everything all right?" Oikawa asked when he noticed her being absentminded.

"I… y-yeah… I-I think I'll stay behind after all." She said, looking down as she hurriedly gathered the rest of the plates.

"Eh? Really? But it's gonna be fun…" Oikawa said.

Ushijima glanced up at the sky and caught up on why his cousin was suddenly so disturbed and worried. He opened his lips but Oikawa cut him before he could say anything:

"I'll stay with you if you want, it'd be lonely otherwise." He said with a smile.

"No, no thank you! You were looking forward to going out, I won't keep you from going. I'm just feeling a little… tired. I wouldn't be good company."

"Oh… if you're not feeling well then…"

Oikawa seemed to hesitate and before he could say anything else, Ushijima intervened:

"I'll stay to watch over you. I didn't want to go out anyway." He said.

"Nonsense! You need to find yourself a girl and have fun! I forbid you to stay behind, Wakatoshi! Oikawa-kun, could you _please_ drag him there?" Shiori continued with a smile, "I swear I'm fine! I can handle myself without you boys!"

Wakatoshi pouted but Oikawa chuckled at the way she treated her cousin – if she felt really bad, she wouldn't be so lively so he didn't have to worry. He couldn't blame her if she wanted to have some alone time when they were spending so much time with everyone.

Everyone, except Shiori, went out but they came back earlier than she would have imagined. She was reading and still up when they arrived, and not even tipsy. After some more time, everyone went to bed, the couples with individual bedrooms probably spending a little more time awake than the others.

The sudden rumble coming from the sky startled Shiori awake. She sat up in the room she shared with the other girls, grabbing nervously her covers. She glanced around the room just as a flash of lightning startled her. She tensed just as the thunder resonated terribly and she realized that it was raining hard. She swallowed before covering herself with her covers, trying to close her eyes and breath calmly but she could see the flash of lightnings even through her eyes. She looked for music but she didn't have anything within reach and she was too scared to explore the house when there was a storm. Tears filling her eyes, she hid her face in her knees, shaking.

Finally, when the storm didn't seem to calm down and only got more and more intense, she stood up on shaky legs and walked straight into the boys' room. She stepped over Oikawa's sleeping form and knelt next to her cousin, shaking his shoulder. Wakatoshi blinked his eyes open and turn around, seeing Shiori, teary eyed and holding onto her cover like a child.

"Shiori?" he mumbled, starting to sit up.

Lightning lit up the room, startling Shiori and the thunder resonated. She whined, covering her ears.

"S-sorry… I… I…"

"…It's okay…" He said, "Just lay down and I'll watch over you."

He pushed her down on the futon, between him and Oikawa who turned around when hearing voices. He blinked his eyes open and noticed Shiori laying down next to Ushijima, shaky. He didn't quite understand what was happening at first, too sleepy, but Ushijima, upon realizing he was awake, made him a sign to not make a sound. Oikawa laid down once again, observing the back of Shiori, hidden by her covers.

Ushijima laid down once again, trying to comfort his cousin but after a few minutes, sleep got the best of him. Oikawa heard his breathing calming down but Shiori's shaky breath didn't stop. She still wasn't sleeping and every time she seemed to calm down a little, another lightning, another rumble of thunder, and she was jumping and shaking even more.

 _She's scared of thunderstorms_ … he realized, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

He held out his hand towards her shoulder for comfort, but he stopped, realizing that it… probably wasn't right. She didn't want them to have any relationship other than friendship and even though it should have driven him crazy that she was laying down next to him, the only thing he could think of was how tight in worry his heart felt.

Slowly, he brought his hand back towards him, trying to find sleep but unable to when he knew Shiori was too scared for that.

After a while, she must have realized as well that Wakatoshi was deeply asleep because she started rummaging around nervously. The storm calmed a little and both Shiori and Oikawa, feeling that she was calming down a little, started falling asleep. Maybe it was Shiori's jump that startled him awake, maybe he hadn't been asleep long enough, or maybe he was unconsciously looking out for any sign of the storm worsening for her sake, but when the thunder shook the air once again, more violently than before, Tooru opened his eyes instantly.

He stopped breathing, eyes widening lightly. In her half-sleep and panic, Shiori had turned around. She was covering her ears with her hands, and her eyes were tightly shut but she was definitely awake.

"Shiori…" He called in a low voice, not even realizing he was calling her by her first name, "Shiori…"

He hated seeing her like that, shaking in fear, sweating in panic, bravely holding back her tears.

"Shiori."

She finally opened her eyes and watched him helplessly, silently apologizing for bothering him in the middle of the night. Her green eyes were filled with tears. His heart seemed to break at the sight, he couldn't handle it.

Unable to hold back, just wanting to comfort her, Tooru suddenly reached out and took her hand in his. She stopped breathing, staring at him in shock.

"It's okay, I'm here. You're not alone…" He murmured, squeezing lightly her hand.

Her lips trembled just as he reached out for his ipod and earphones that were laying around. He delicately approached it to her and she put them in her ears as he started a soothing music, hopefully loud enough to cover the sound of thunder. He took her hand in his again and they stayed like this a moment.

"Is this better?" He asked with a little smile.

Shiori stared at him, he looked tired after being woken up in the middle of the night. His hair was messy but looked so fluffy that if she weren't so frightened right now, she would probably dive her fingers through it. His hand was warm in hers and unconsciously, he was caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. The music was the Tanabata song and it brought more tears to her eyes – tears of happy melancholy and relief. It was like being home. She wasn't sure if it was the song, or the hand that was holding hers, or the way he stared at her so softly and reassuringly, but… she felt home. She didn't realize that silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

Lightning lit up the room and she startled, glancing around anxiously, waiting for the rumble of thunder. Tooru squeezed her hand, attracting her attention to him. She couldn't hear his voice but she understood him anyway.

 _Look at me._

And when the thunder resonated, she could feel it in the air, she could somehow hear it through the melody, and she still felt her heart tighten in fear but she had a hand to hold onto and it was better than before.

The thunder seemed even worse than before, enough that it woke up Wakatoshi who immediately worried for Shiori. He started sitting up but froze, realizing she was turned towards Oikawa and that he was whispering reassuring words to her. He was holding her hand tightly and she seemed to be listening to music. Wakatoshi stared at the two and realized that Shiori wasn't panicking as much as usual. It felt like a slap as he laid down again, staring at the ceiling.

Shiori had always feared thunderstorms, but it had gotten worse since she had lost her mother. She could barely comfort Shiori back then and no one else ever could. Not her father, not himself, not Tendou, or Shouhei. _No one…_ and _yet_ …

Wakatoshi glanced at the sleepy figure of Shiori and Oikawa, closer than they seemed to realize, holding hands and somehow, by some miracle only Oikawa Tooru could accomplish, he had managed to calm down Shiori during a thunderstorm.

It took a few minutes, but Shiori finally calmed down and, exhausted, she fell asleep, watched over by Tooru. He stayed awake until he was certain that the thunder and storm was passed, even though it was still raining and he delicately took out the music from her ears so it wouldn't wake her at an unfortunate time. He tried to let go of her hand, but her hold on his was tight and he sighed, smiling despite himself to know her so fragile right now but holding onto _him_.

The following morning, Akaashi was the first one to wake up and blinked upon seeing Shiori and Tooru, still holding hands and close to cuddling. He lightly shook Kuroo and Ushijima, indicating to them to remain silent. If Kuroo made amused faces and took a few pictures for later blackmail and teasing, Ushijima didn't seem surprised. He just stared at them, his expression curious, confused and in awe all at once. It was still raining hard outside but hopefully the worst of the storm was gone. Hearing some steps in the hall, knowing that some of the others were awake now, the three young men decided to let the two sleep a little longer and exited the room in silence. They found Ami, Kiku and Iwaizumi all awake and preparing breakfast.

"We'll have to stay inside today," Iwaizumi said when they arrived.

Everyone was still wearing pajama and maybe it was the story, or the exhaustion of the last few days catching up, but everyone was too groggy to do any effort today and they just stared at the rain falling while sleepily preparing breakfast.

"Oikawa is still sleeping?" Iwaizumi asked after a few minutes while they were drinking coffee or tea.

"I think he'll sleep for a while longer. He didn't get to sleep much last night with Shiori." Ushijima answered calmly.

The three who were not aware of what had happened turned towards him with wide eyes:

"Sorry, I don't think I'm awake yet, what did you _say?_ " Iwaizumi asked, blinking.

"Shiori came last night in our room, she and Oikawa were, _y'know~!_ So we all joined at some point~!" Kuroo teased.

"Bullshit, Oikawa wouldn't do that, or share Shiori with anyone else. And she's Ushiwaka's cousin you disgusting– _anyway_. What happened?" He continued while the cat was chuckling on the couch and almost fell off it.

"Shiori is scared of thunderstorms so she came into our room last night," Ushijima started explaining, "I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up, Oikawa had comforted her."

He put his mug down, staring at the table while they glanced at each other then stared back at him:

"…I had never seen her sleep so much and look so calm when there was thunder. It's the first time." He said, looking up in disbelief at Iwaizumi, "What did Oikawa do?"

Iwaizumi hesitated before shrugging, smiling gently.

"Who knows… this guy just keeps impressing me… Ever since he told me he wanted to wait to meet a special someone to fall in love with, instead of accumulating useless relationships, I had only half believed him. I could tell he wanted more in his relationships, but I used to think he wasn't mature enough for any of that."

He glanced at Kiku who smiled as well then leaned against him. He kissed the top of her head before leaning his chin over it thoughtfully.

"…He really _has_ changed, hasn't he…?" He whispered with a small smile.

"Don't worry, he'll always be your best friend and you'll always know each other better than anyone else in the world." Kiku said.

"…Yeah… but it's hard to believe that he actually _fell in love_ with Shiori, and that he's… he's _serious_ about her."

"They decided to not date, Shiori is still dating Shouhei," Wakatoshi remarked.

Iwaizumi looked back at him, shaking lightly his head:

"Yeah, but you don't get what I'm trying to say… Oikawa never cared much about who he was dating. He'd have a nice girl who was his type, but if she was letting him go or if he got bored, he'd end things. He never got really attached to any of them. But with Shiori? He can't stop talking about her, he's always going on and on about her, it even got the two of _you_ closer. The way he looks at her…? I _never_ saw him looking at _anyone_ like that before…" Iwaizumi explained, looking in awe.

"He keeps denying he's in love with her, though," Kuroo noticed, shrugging.

"That's because he's a stubborn idiot, but that's a different problem." Iwaizumi shrugged nonchalantly, "He just needs to follow his heart, but he never did that before, so he doesn't know how."

Kuroo looked up, feeling like the words worked for him and Akane as well.

Some time later, everyone else gathered, covering up because the temperatures had gone down because of the storm. Then, it was Tooru who didn't dare look in the direction of Ushijima and barely met eyes with others. Even though everyone knew about the night he and Shiori had spent 'together', no one said a word. He was starting to relax a little when Shiori showed up, looking tired, scared and embarrassed. She glanced at Tooru before quickly looking away. She met her cousin's curious gaze and looked down in shame, swallowing hard.

"What are we gonna do today?" Bokuto asked, walking relentlessly around the living-room after they had all eaten breakfast.

"We should stay in here, it's too stormy outside to do anything without catching death," Ayaka answered, covered in two layers of her boyfriend's clothes.

"But what are we gonna _do?"_

"I'll go for groceries," Ushijima reminded them, as it had been decided the previous day, "As for our activities… we could work out a little, there is a room for training in the back of the house. But it might be too small for all of us."

"You could also take a day off, it wouldn't hurt," Shiori murmured, raising her voice for the first time this morning.

"We could just get cozy, watch movies and relax a little," Kiku said, "I'll bake something nice and warm later!"

"Now _that_ sounds like a great plan," Iwaizumi said with a happy smile.

They finally agreed to do whatever they wanted as long as they stayed inside. Only Ushijima, Iwaizumi and Akaashi decided to brave the storm to go for groceries. Shiori became a little more restless during the time her cousin was absent and even though she always came back towards Oikawa and the other boys who were playing cards, she never stayed around out of embarrassment.

Tetsurou looked up from his cards and noticed Akane doing some homework. He observed her and immediately noticed that she wasn't focused. It didn't take long to understand why as she looked up and her eyes met his. Both stared, eyes a little widened, then they flushed and looked away. A moment later, they were glancing at each other once again, before looking away and hiding their smiles…

As the day went by, the storm calmed down, but the rain didn't stop. They did pretty much everything they could think about after lunch – arguing about which movie watch, eat Kiku and Ami's brownies while watching the chosen movie, criticize the movie and how they should have watched something else… Ayaka started playing the piano, and it urged Kuroo and Bokuto to play the guitar, both having taken their instruments with them. The different levels in music and different tastes lead to a hilarious mix.

Curious, Akane sat on the couch, gathering her legs in her arms to watch Kuroo play the guitar, struggling a little after not having played it in a long time. He was enjoying himself, smiling and laughing a lot. She had never known he was playing the guitar, as clumsily as it was. She had never known he knew about poetry either. She didn't know so many things about him, and she hoped she could look forward to learning more and more about Kuroo Tetsurou. She didn't realize that at some point, watching him smile so much, made her smile as well.

Groggy from the rain and a day of walking around, calm fell on the room. Ushijima was reading a book. Akaashi and Ami were reading a magazine together, commenting quietly on it. Kiku and Hajime were curled up, he was holding her close to make up for all the times they had wished for a cuddle and been apart. Ayaka was curled up into Koutarou's broad chest and arms, almost sleeping in his warmth while he was tracing comforting circles over her hands with his thumbs. Shiori and Tooru, a little awkward now, were at the piano, doing some clumsy music as she was teaching him the little bit of piano she knew. They were smiling and every time one was looking at the touches, the other would stare with stars in his eyes.

Meanwhile, Akane was curled up on her own on the other couch, feeling cold and lonely. Watching all these couples, cuddling, kissing just for it, holding hands to keep touching, giving each other warmth and comfort… She wanted that. She wanted it so badly she felt her heart bleed, torn apart by the thorns. Her eyes got teary as she looked down. She hid her trembling by pulling at her jacket, not good enough to keep the ice of her heart from spreading all over her body.

She startled when, suddenly, a cover was put over her shoulders. She looked up with wide eyes, surprising Tetsurou who blinked at her sudden move. She hadn't heard him come closer, and he had surrounded her shoulders with a fluffy cover.

"You look like you're a little cold," he said warmly.

Akane stared at him, lips trembling as more tears filled her eyes. Tetsurou startled when he realized that, not understanding what he had done wrong. She could see him panic but she couldn't say a thing as she stared at him.

Warmth. He was her warmth. He was her comfort.

" _I want to_ _ **try**_ _. I want to try_ _ **us**_ _."_

Tetsurou opened and closed his lips, looking for words but just as he was about to say something, Akane suddenly stood up and hurried out of the house.

Everyone watched her in stunned silence, not understanding why she had rushed away so suddenly. Tetsurou kept staring where she had disappeared with his mouth hanging open in shock. Then, everyone glanced at him curiously, silently asking him what had happened but before anyone could say a thing, he dropped the cover and hurried after Akane.

Akane ignored the rain hitting her heavily as she ran away from the house, not even looking where she was going, blinded by her tears. She couldn't bear it – seeing all these couples being soft and loving when she couldn't have it with Tetsurou, it was breaking her heart.

"Akane! Akane, wait!"

She heard his voice but it was smothered by thunder and she accelerated. She knew she was running away but it was the only thing she was good at. She always ran away when she cried, even though she had nowhere to go, and no one to go to. A sob strangled her just as she tripped on something. She cried out, falling forward and falling on her knees. She breathed heavily, from the panic strangling her and the running she had done. Had she run for a few minutes, for hours? She couldn't tell. She just knew that now, her entire body was shaking from the effort and the wrecking of her heart. She couldn't tell if what was running down her face were tears or raindrops.

She slowly looked up and around, realizing that the rain had slowed down and she had arrived in some nearby park. She was surrounded by trees and she couldn't even tell where she was exactly. She only knew she was very pathetic. She was constantly avoiding people, running away from friendship and love and even though it hurt as hell to be alone, she deserved it – but seeing Tetsurou being hurt was worse than anything. She could handle her own pain, but if Tetsurou was hurt, she couldn't breathe. She wanted to see him smile, happy, with her or another it didn't matter. But the hesitant, sad look he kept sending her way was too much, she made him suffer – _and yet_ , he was looking out for her, making sure she was okay. She loved him so much.

She stood up on shaky legs, closing her eyes as she remembered all the glances he had sent her way – the shy, impressed look back when they had met in middle-school. The curious, worried look when he had helped her out in that terrible thunderstorm. The hurt, stunned look when she had started acting cold towards him. The challenging, somewhat sad look whenever they were rivalling each other in high-school… The warm, tender look he had given her whenever they had spent time together since they had kissed. A look that no one had given her before, that made her feel safe, warm and loved. And gods, did she love him back, more than anything in the world…

Tetsurou arrived running, out of breath. He had spent the last few minutes looking for Akane, panicked for not seeing her around anymore. Relief hit him when he noticed her figure between a few trees.

The night had almost fallen, sooner than usual because of the storm. The rain had almost stopped now, only a few drops could be seen, giving a sparkling light to the scene.

Hesitantly, he approached and noticed that Akane was standing still, head hanging low and her hands shaking. No… he observed closely and remarked that her fingers were tapping against her thigh, to the same rhythm, the same code, the same words he had heard against his wall for so long.

 _I love you…_

His shoulders fell down as he stared at Akane, torturing herself for reasons he couldn't understand. But it didn't matter – she loved him, and he loved her back, all he wanted was for the two of them to be happy, _together_. Secrets and fears? To hell with that. There were so many things he hadn't shared with her yet – like she hadn't; there were so much fear creeping him out – just like for her… But he was willing to work against all this darkness for the light of their love, he just wanted her to realize that she could do it too… and that they would come out stronger, together, once all the bad would be gone.

Without a word, Tetsurou approached Akane, her head tilting up when she heard him but she didn't make a move to turn around or run away again. She couldn't do that anymore. Her fingers kept tapping against her thigh without her realizing it. She felt his warm breath against the back of her neck and his fingers delicately touching hers. It interrupted her nervous tapping and their fingers entwined, both relaxing.

"…Have I done something wrong?" He asked softly.

Akane slowly turned around, looking up at him.

Just then, the clouds cleared up just long enough for the last rays of sunlight of that day to come through, illuminating just their little coven of trees. Raindrops were still falling, illuminated by the sunlight and shining like pearls all around them.

She saw his golden eyes, he saw her reddish eyes – both gazes shone with honesty and the storms of emotions raging within their hearts.

"I love you…" She whispered, voice breaking a little.

Tetsurou stopped breathing, his heart missing a beat as he stared at her. He was overwhelmed by the realization that _yes_ , she _did_ love him, his feelings were shared. Their hearts were beating to the same rhythm, following the same melody. But instead of saying or doing anything, he just stared at her with a soft smile and lovely eyes, happiness shining in them.

Akane flushed and tightened her fingers around his, lifting herself up on her tiptoes to make herself taller:

" _That's_ what you did wrong, Tetsurou! You made me _love you_ – you made me fall in love with you! How am I supposed to keep going when I want to be with you all the time, you invade my mind, I only feel good and happy and at peace with your hand holding mine?! I've _desperately_ fallen in love with you and I–"

Tetsurou let go of her hand to cup her cheeks and leaned down, kissing her silent. Akane gasped against his lips then they pressed their lips together tenderly. A soft, warm kiss that shook their world and sealed their hearts.

After a moment when they felt like nothing existed except the two of them, they pulled apart, staring at each other with wide, sparkling eyes. Akane's fingers brushed his wrists as Tetsurou smiled widely:

"I love you too, you silly…" He said happily.

She smiled and it was the most beautiful sight he had ever witnessed. Still, his smile wavered and, still cupping her cheeks, he looked right into her eyes, serious:

"But– do you want us to be _together?_ As in a real couple? Who will spend as much time as possible together and get really cheesy and sickeningly cute and–"

She interrupted him by cupping his cheeks and forcing him down for a kiss. His eyes widened a little before he leaned into the kiss, both smiling before pulling away.

" _Yes_ , you silly…" She answered, echoing his words from earlier.

"My~ I knew you couldn't get enough of me…" He said with a wink.

She looked exasperated by him for the slightest moment, then she looked down, darkening.

"I… I know I've been… I hesitated, I'm still hesitating because I… don't want to hurt you… Never… and when I'll tell you the truth, it might… hurt you…"

He brushed her cheek with his thumb, attracting her attention back to him:

"And I told you – whatever it is, I'm willing to wait for you to be ready to talk about it, and accept it. I'll choose _you_ , once again, Akane." He said with a warm smile.

She couldn't ignore the fear in her heart, but his smile was melting the ice of her heart away, his touch was too soft to feel the thorns. She felt peaceful, warm and happy – she had never felt this way before and it was all thanks to Kuroo Tetsurou being part of her life.

"Then… we… we're… we become… _us?"_ She asked hesitantly, blushing.

"I'm looking forward to _us_ ," he answered, leaning down to kiss her again.

She smiled into his kiss, before kissing him back, this time with more passion. They kissed for long, ardent minutes, catching up on all the frustrating time they had longed for a kiss without being able to touch each other, mostly because they had been way too stubborn.

By the time they looked around, the night had fallen, the rain had stopped, and fireflies had come out, shining softly. They watched in awe, their hands never leaving each other's. Tetsurou stared at Akane and brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers, attracting her attention back to him. She smiled and leaned up, whispering his new favourite words against his lips before kissing him warmly.

The fireflies had made the moment of their first _"I love you's"_ even more magical.

* * *

 _For the ones who read Bokuto's fanfic until the end, in the epilogue we know the names of their daughter, Hotaru, which means "firefly" (and KEI from Tsukishima Kei is the male reading of the same name~)._

 _I hope you enjoyed it~_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	19. Kittens Learning How to Walk

_Here is the new chapter! Sorry for not posting often but I'm struggling to have the energy to do anything lately... I hope you'll like it! ;)_

 _I don't remember if I posted it on Oikawa's fanfic but I wrote a birthday one-shot for Iwaizumi's birthday, if you haven't read it yet, check it out~! I'll write one for Oikawa too, his birthday is July 20th so the next in line! :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favortied and reviewed! :D_

 _ **PLAYLIST'S SONGS** : "Kiss me" - Ed Sheeran ; "Touch" (acoustic) - Little Mix ; "Blue" - Marine & the Diamonds ; "Heaven in Hiding" - Halsey_

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : FINALLY THEY'RE TOGETHER! Let's hope it will stay this way! ;)_

 _ **booklover2098** : Same, I was so excitted posting this chapter and I love this one for all the friendly banter._

 _ **Erzebeth K** : The ShioKawa story is gonna get a lot more fluffy and romantic now that all the big troubles of the beginning are gone. The girls' friendship is as strong as the boys'. Less competitive too, so all good! ;)_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : AHAH! Let's HOPE they'll stay together for a while! ;) You guys aren't going through all this trouble just to have them be together for a few chapters, right? :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XIX : Kittens Learning How to Walk

" _We made love and then made love again and then after we had made love once more, quiet and dark and unspeaking and unthinking and then like a shower of meteors on a cold night, we went to sleep."_

— **Ernest Hemingway, True At First Light**

" _Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."_

― **Gillian Anderson**

" _When you are attracted to people, it's because of the details. Their kindness. Their eyes. The fact that they can get you to laugh when you need it the most."_

— **Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home**

" _Finding someone you can really connect with is like winning the lottery — It happens basically never, but if it does, you really shouldn't blow it."_

— **Jessica Verdi, What You Left Behind**

" _I did not always think he was right nor did he always think I was right but we were each the person the other trusted."_

— **Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking**

" _Life has a funny way of working out just when you start to believe it never will."_

— **Anonymous**

" _I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. Let our scars fall in love."_

— **Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe**

" _The curves of your lips rewrite history."_

— **Oscar Wilde**

" _And I will eat you slowly with kisses."_

— **Anne Sexton, Loving the Killer**

" _Her laughter tickled my soul."_

— **Katie McGarry**

" _To feel anything deranges you. To be seen feeling anything strips you naked."_

— **Anne Carson**

" _I loved you long before I had the guts to let you know."_

— **William Chapman**

" _She is a beautiful madness, that I hardly understand. That's how I know, it's her. Why choose someone else if she exists?"_

— **Unknown**

" _How beautiful to find a heart that loves you, without asking you for anything, but to be okay."_

— **Khalil Gibran**

" _I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes."_

— **Jean Vanier**

" _You're getting older, and you'll see that life isn't like your fairytales. The world is a cruel place. And you'll learn that, even if it hurts."_

— **Pan's Labyrinth. Dir. Guillermo del Torro**

" _I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald**

Akane smiled in her sleep when, slowly waking up from her dreamy cocoon of warmth, she could feel the warmth of Tetsurou's body pressed against hers and mostly, his gaze. His eyes so soft and so tender, looking down at her so intensely that she was aware of everything about him even though she hadn't opened her eyes yet.

"You'll have to stop staring at me when I sleep because it'll get creepy eventually," she murmured, eyes still closed but with a smile.

"Nonsense, you love it when I watch you sleep. And you love even more that my expression of love is the first thing you see when you wake up." He answered smugly, not batting an eye.

She opened one eye, looking up and her smile grew wider when she saw said-expression of love.

"You're right, I _do_ love this expression on your face," she answered, turning on her back.

Her hands dived into his messy hair, pulling him down for a long, sensual kiss. He let his body fall against hers, their skins pressing and electrifying their senses. They pulled away for air, Tetsurou sighing and letting his head rest in her neck.

"Gods, I love it when you kiss me like that… and I love kissing you even more…" He murmured, kissing her neck and shoulder just the way she liked.

"You'll have to make a choice for one or another eventually…" She whispered with a shiver.

He smiled against her skin, leaving peppering, tender kisses all over her body, slowly making his way downwards. Akane's smile grew even bigger and she gasped, her body arching when he reached the ultimate pleasure point.

"I'm selfish and I'll take it all," he whispered against her heat before continuing to give her waves of pleasure.

She smirked, holding back a laugh just as a knock at the door made them freeze. Tetsurou looked up and glared at the door.

"Intending to ever join us for breakfast after stealing our room?" Shiori asked, voice smothered by the door.

"No!" Tetsurou exclaimed, hiding his face in her thighs.

"We'll be downstairs in two minutes!" Akane said instead.

Tetsurou mumbled, pouting and pressing his face against the inside of her thigh.

"I don't wanna go… it's embarrassing…" He mumbled, flushing.

She sat up and dived her fingers through his hair once again, until he raised his head because of her caresses.

"They won't judge us. Also, you should have thought about this _before_ you dragged me in here."

"Don't you _dare_ pretend I'm the one who forced you here, you were just as aroused as I was," he answered, narrowing his eyes.

She pouted, then smirked and kissed his forehead.

"Come on, up, lazy cat. We've escaped our fate long enough."

He whined again but this time, she pushed him off her and stood up to get dressed. Against his own will, Tetsurou had no choice but doing the same.

The previous night, after long, tender kisses following their first "I love you" surrounded by fireflies, their kisses had heated up. _Of course,_ it had _._ And at some point on their way back, they had started making out and they didn't listen or even seemed aware of their friends watching them with stunned eyes when they suddenly showed up in the living-room. In ten seconds of intense kissing and touching, they had gone upstairs and it didn't take long for the others to know a little too well what the two were occupied at. They were happy for their friends who were, apparently, _finally_ dating. The only problem was that in their frustrated and loving state, they had just walked into the girls' bedroom and made it their own. When the new couple didn't seem to be inclined to stop for the sake of the others… the girls had just been forced to go sleep with the boys which had been cramped to the point of forcing Oikawa to go sleep on the couch – it was the excuse he had used, it might have just been because he didn't want to stay too close to Shiori at night.

Tetsurou and Akane didn't receive any staring from anyone as they arrived in the living-room, holding hands. They ate breakfast in relative silence, until Bokuto coughed to attract everyone's attention to him. He was staring at Kuroo:

"All right, so. Can we have an update on the state of your relationship now? Also, you're forbidden to spend another night together while we're still in this house."

"Firstly, who do you think you are to decide on that? Secondly, we're d-dat… we're dating…" Tetsurou answered, acting tough at first then getting all flustered.

The cheers of congratulation and "finally" resonated, making a still sleepy Ushijima startle so high he dropped his pancake.

"As for having sex, I suppose you're telling us that because you were stuck outside the girls' room and you had to sleep all together?" Akane said calmly, "I'm sure it helped out a few of you."

"And also because we didn't get sleep until _you_ had stopped," Oikawa mumbled.

"If you couldn't sleep, you should have just joined us," Kuroo said with a smirk.

The others rolled their eyes, Ushijima dropped his pancake again, and Akane elbowed her boyfriend with an exasperated look on her face. He made a strange face because she usually was the first one to make this sort of jokes.

"Not _now_ when they're sleepy, propose it to them later," she answered with a wink.

"All right," Ayaka intervened, "Can we just agree that if you have sex, make sure not to disturb the others' sleeping schedule and rooms?"

"It's easy _you_ have a bedroom for that!" Kuroo whined, "Even though you and Bokuto don't have sex _only_ in there."

"WHA–"

"HOW!?"

Everyone turned judging eyes towards the couple, Ayaka hiding her face in her hands and Bokuto blushing sheepishly. Kuroo smirked to have embarrassed them.

" _But_ out of respect for everyone, and because we're generous like that, we'll make sure not to have sex everywhere and at anytime of the day or night, and we'll make sure to not get so sexually and emotionally invested that it disturbs anyone else." Tetsurou added, raising his hands innocently.

Everyone sighed in relief.

"It was just last night that was particularly intense and I apologize for the dark bags under your eyes today," Akane added.

"So! Now that it's settled! What happened last night after you ran away?" Kiku asked, leaning forward with an excited smile on her face.

Tetsurou and Akane blushed and glanced at each other.

"W-we… you don't need to know that." Tetsurou mumbled, blushing in embarrassment.

"Aaaww~" Kiku said with an amused smile.

"Don't make fun of us! _Don't_ look at me like that!" Kuroo exclaimed, blushing even more.

Kiku laughed, followed by the others who were just as amused to see these two, so unabashed when talking about sex but blushing as soon as "love" was in the picture and a topic of teasing.

After a few more minutes of teasing, they finally decided to move and go to the beach now that the sun was back. They all moved together instead of the boys running ahead, so the couples could walk together – plus Shiori, Wakatoshi and Tooru staring at all the couples from behind. Akane glanced behind her, noticing Shiori and Tooru discussing and the Super Ace slowly walking further away to give them some intimacy, they didn't even notice Ushijima disappearing from their sides, as taken as they were in their conversation.

"For someone so blunt, he is weirdly perceptive," Akane remarked, referring to Ushijima.

Kuroo glanced over his shoulder, following her gaze and nodded:

"Yeah, he's a good guy. Though he needs to work on his social skills."

"We should find him a girlfriend, it'd get him a little less stuck."

"I don't think he's ready for that. He's way too focused on volleyball." He answered with a shrug.

" _You're_ focused on volleyball too, you _all_ are!" Akane exclaimed, pointing ahead of her to show the other couples, "I don't see what's so different with Ushiwaka."

"Who knows? He's not the type to open up much…"

"Then help him out, you nosy cat," she replied, elbowing him lightly, making him almost stumble.

Kuroo grabbed her by the shoulders, dragging her closer and smirking, leaning down:

"I was busy trying to figure out how my own heart functioned, I couldn't help out others."

"Have you figured out how it works then?" She asked with a smile while they continued walking with his arm now draped around her shoulders.

"I think I have, yeah," he replied, leaning down and brushing his nose against hers.

She chuckled, leaning against him and after sharing a sparkling gaze, he was about to kiss her when Oikawa and Shiori passed by, the setter staring at them and speaking up:

"My, they're kissing again," he commented.

"Oikawa-kun!" Shiori exclaimed with a laugh, grabbing his forearm and pulling him faster.

He laughed at the way Kuroo and Akane had frozen but then, because with his comment he had attracted everyone's attention on the newly formed couple, they pulled away instead of kissing. The others all chuckled, which embarrassed them even more.

"I swear that if they keep teasing us I'm going to drown one of them by the end of the week…" Kuroo mumbled.

"You're saying that but you're too soft-hearted for that," she replied with an amused smirk.

"Oi! I can be dangerous if I want."

She gave him a disbelieving look and he looked away with a flush on his cheeks.

A few meters ahead, Ayaka turned back towards Koutarou after having watched the new couple from afar:

"I can't believe Kuroo is being shut up so effectively…"

"That's Akane for ya! That's why she's so perfect for him!" He answered cheerfully.

"They really found each other, haven't they?" Ami said with a smile.

"Are you finally going to stop drooling about Kuroo-san then?" Akaashi asked her teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

She flushed before drawing closer to him:

"Now, you're asking for a miracle. But is it jealousy I'm hearing from you, Keiji dear?"

" _Now_ , you are being absolutely ridiculous. Why would I be jealous?" He continued with an innocent shrug.

She chuckled and went on her tiptoes, kissing his cheek happily.

They spent most of the day at the beach, playing volleyball and swimming. Now that Akane and Tetsurou were a real couple, all the awkwardness had faded away and it all felt much more natural. The girls were all gathered and begging Akane for more details of what a romantic Kuroo was like – because, let's admit it, they all had had at some point a bit of a crush on him.

"I know you want to know the details but I'm not going to say anything," Akane said stubbornly.

"Why not? You two are so cute together~! And we've been supporting you both to get together so we deserve to know _how_ it happened!" Kiku exclaimed.

"Cute _and_ sexy, which is an almost impossible combination and yet, you perfected it." Shiori added.

"Hajime is cute and sexy too!" Kiku exclaimed.

"Have you seen my Koutarou?" Ayaka continued, rolling her eyes.

"Keiji can be cute too, when he feels like it, and he's _always_ handsome," Ami remarked.

Akane's sudden laugh made everyone turn towards her:

" _Please_ , you're all adorable fighting for the glory of your men!" She said, still smiling and laughing, "We're all in l-love with our men, so _obviously_ we are a little biased when talking about them. For us, they _each_ are the ultimate specimen. Though, Tetsurou _obviously_ is a notch above all the others. But he's a dork…" She added with a pout, "But that's very, very cute too so… _a-anyway_ , all that to say that we're… we're all very much in love with our boyfriends."

Ayaka and Kiku glanced at each other knowingly before turning back towards Akane:

"Yees, we are, and it's amazing that you were still in such denial yesterday and _now_ , you're all over him," Kiku said teasingly.

"Still not going to tell us how the confession happened?" Ayaka asked, making her owlet eyes – but it only worked with Koutarou.

"Nope. I… I want to keep it between Tetsurou and I… it's… it's a precious moment that I cherish in my heart… so I can't talk about it to anyone else…" Akane answered, blushing adorably.

"Aaaww… after such words, we really can't insist on knowing about it…" Ami said, joining her hands together.

Realizing Shiori had remained quiet, Kiku turned towards her:

"Everything is all right, Shi-chan?" She asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She startled and looked back at the other girls, forcing a smile.

"Y-yeah… I was just… thinking about Shouhei."

The girls all glanced at each other, and Ayaka spoke up:

"Shouhei… or Oikawa-kun?" She asked.

Shiori looked up with wide eyes then shook her head:

"No! Despite what you all think… I… I'm… I'm not in love with Oikawa-kun…" She answered, lowering her head.

"Then why do you sound so sad saying that?" Ayaka continued.

Shiori didn't answer, turning away from the others. Akane intervened:

"Come on, let her deal with her own heart trouble."

"Hey!"

They looked up just as Bokuto arrived, dripping in water and his hair falling down. Ayaka almost swooned.

"Have you seen Ushiwaka? He's disappeared," he asked.

"He wasn't with you?" Ami asked, tilting her head on a side.

"Nope, we thought he was with you. Where has he gone?" He asked looking around but he was nowhere to be seen.

"I'll try calling him," Shiori said, grabbing her phone.

Bokuto nodded then blinked, staring at her:

"You're okay, Shi-chan? You look… down…"

The girls glanced at each other while Shiori stood up, sighing. She walked away, trying to call her cousin before announcing she'll go looking for him. Bokuto turned back towards the girls:

"Did I say something wrong?"

"It's fine, I'll stay with her. I'm going to buy some fresh drinks, send me in text what you all want, once the boys are back from swimming." Akane announced, standing up and putting on her shorts and tshirt.

"All right. Be careful!"

Akane got dressed and went in the direction of Shiori. It didn't take long to find her sitting behind a few trees that kept her away from anyone's sight – so much for looking for her cousin. Not that Akane could blame her for running away with the three curious and squealing creatures.

"Hey," Akane saluted, arriving near Shiori, "I'm going to buy drinks for everyone, can you help me carry it all?" She asked.

Shiori startled when the girl showed up next to her, then nodded nervously, standing up and following her to the nearest drink machines. Akane followed the text on her phone to have everyone's drinks, taking her sweet time to select one by one the drinks while Shiori was gathering the drinks in her arms whenever it fell.

"So…" Akane started.

"Please, don't ask me how I feel about Oikawa-kun… or Shouhei. I don't want to think about it any longer…" Shiori mumbled, closing her eyes.

"All right, I won't ask," she answered with a shrug before looking down at the girl, "You met Oikawa back in middle-school, right?"

Shiori looked up at her with wide eyes, silently cursing her for asking such a thing. Akane shrugged off her look, putting her hands on her hips as the machine hummed, another drink on its way:

"I didn't ask about your feelings for him, just when you had met him."

"…I met Oikawa-kun after his loss against my cousin's match… He was crying behind the gymnasium. That's it. We met again the following year, and again and again until…"

Her voice trailed off and Shiori started blushing, her eyes sparkling, as if the memory was particularly sweet. But then, she lowered her head, eyes glasses over by sadness.

"Until we… I… _he_ thought we'd never meet again. Or at least, not the way we met again in Tokyo."

"And – still not asking your feelings for either of them – but you _are_ aware that you're unhappy with Shouhei, right?" Akane asked.

Shiori looked up, eyes wide, shocked as if… as if she hadn't even noticed such a thing.

"W-what…" She murmured, "I'm… we're… we're fine, we're doing _great_ … We're in love."

Akane pouted and lowered to get the drink that had just fallen in front of Shiori who was still unable to move. Then she put another coin for another drink.

"I hate that, you sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that when it's obvious you're not happy and you two _aren't_ doing great. It reminds me of my work colleagues at the Gem's, the ones who are stuck with complete assholes who do drugs, steal their money or stuff like that. They always repeat the same thing 'I love him' or 'he loves me' or whatever is a huge enough lie to hide the truth of their misery. I don't know much about a healthy relationship myself, it's… Tetsurou and I, it's barely starting but… I know that all these girls, when they say that, they're just scared to find themselves alone. That's the only sort of toxic relationship I know about, but a relationship in which you're unhappy is just as toxic, don't you think?" Akane explained, looking at Shiori pointedly, before sighing and bending down to get the last of the drinks, "I don't know you enough to understand your motives to stay with Shouhei, but a lonely relationship and hollow love sound like torture – worse than actual loneliness and no love at all. I know I'd choose the latter, at least." She concluded with a shrug, standing up.

She extended her hand and after a hesitation, Shiori handed her a few drinks so they could share the amount of weight they both had to carry. Without another word, Akane started walking back towards the beach. Shiori stared at her. She walked proudly, head held high, without hesitation – and it wasn't because of her new relationship status, Akane had always been like that. Impressive and proud. Everyone's gazes was attracted to her because she was fiery, everyone wanted to get close to her for the warmth she was emitting. Shiori knew very well _she_ wasn't like that, she was just… she was looked at because people saw enough beauty to look from afar, without ever approaching her and getting close. But Shouhei had. He had filled her empty time, her hollow personality, he had given her a goal to reach. It was more than anyone else had done for her, but now why did she feel just as empty, just as hollow as always?

" _I know that all these girls, when they say that, they're just scared to find themselves alone. That's the only sort of toxic relationship I know about, but a relationship in which you're unhappy is just as toxic, don't you think?"_

Was it really so bad, so toxic? Wanting to stay with the person she wanted to build something with, even if they weren't quite sure what they wanted to build, or with what love? Did she actually _want_ to build a life, a future with Shouhei when they felt so distant, while they were together? Was _she_ happy? What was happiness even supposed to be?

Lost in her thoughts, Shiori had followed Akane who suddenly stopped in front of her, head turned towards the other side. Unconsciously, Shiori followed her gaze and froze, opening wide eyes. Wakatoshi was awkwardly standing there, surrounded by three girls who kept asking him questions and giggling. He wasn't uncomfortable per say, but he definitely wasn't catching on the reason why these girls were here and talking to him. One of them surrounded his arm in an attempt to be charming and he unconsciously glanced down at her body, only covered in a swimming suit, before he looked away, flushing.

"Should we go help him? Or should we let him deal with it on his own?" Akane asked with an amused smile.

"Are you crazy? He's finally interacting with the opposite gender – let's not ruin his chances!" Shiori exclaimed, continuing forward before her cousin could see her.

She was almost running, followed by a very amused and much slower Akane.

"Shiori!"

"And here is the distress call," Akane commented with a smirk.

Shiori froze, her shoulders going down and she looked up, pretending not to have noticed her cousin earlier when he used her as an excuse to escape the three girls. He had underestimated them because they followed him with a pout as he joined his two friends:

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"You said you didn't have one…"

"We're _cousins_ ," Shiori said with a tight smile as Wakatoshi grabbed a few drinks from her arms to busy himself, "I don't understand why everyone always assumes that we're dating."

"Maybe because you are so different but still cling to each other?" Akane proposed, adding a few drinks in the Super Ace's arms without being bothered asking the permission – he welcomed the distraction.

"So you're not dating anyone?" The girl from earlier asked again – she seemed pretty infatuated with Wakatoshi to insist so much when her two friends were about to leave and if Akane wasn't mistaking the three girls had been watching the volleyball match the other day.

Shiori elbowed her cousin with an encouraging nod but when Akane noticed the embarrassing crimson colouring his cheeks, she jumped to everyone's rescue:

"Hey, why don't you come play volleyball with us?" She proposed, winking discreetly so Wakatoshi wouldn't notice.

The girl blinked, and seemed to realize Akane was lending some help. She blushed and hesitated.

"O-oh… I- um… I'm not very good…"

Wakatoshi perked up at this and hesitated, and after another not-so-discreet elbowing from his cousin, he finally turned towards the girl:

"I can teach you if you are motivated."

"R-really?!" She exclaimed, overjoyed to be spending time with her summer crush.

He hesitated before nodding quietly. Hidden being him so he wouldn't notice, Shiori grinned at Akane who smirked triumphally. The two girls walked away to give some time to Wakatoshi and the girl, then the Super Ace was joining them and they all started walking towards the rest of their friends – okay, Shiori _ran_ excitedly, dropping the drinks in a pile to the boys, Ayaka, Kiku and Ami. She jumped on her bag and Akane and Wakatoshi arrived.

"You are never going to believe what just happened!" Shiori exclaimed, grabbing her phone.

"What happened to get you so ecstatic?" Kiku asked curiously.

"Shiori, wait–" Wakatoshi started.

"Wakatoshi has got a date! Thanks to Akane!"

" _What."_ Kuroo said with narrowed eyes, turning towards _his_ girlfriend and Wakatoshi who flushed.

"It's not a date," he said.

" _Bullshit!_ You're meeting this girl later, right? Her friends won't be here! We'll give you some intimacy so use well your charm points…"

She glanced up at him, her smile disappearing, which made him frown.

"Well… at least, try not to make her run away with your bluntness…"

" _Shiori_ …" He growled, shaking his head and closing his eyes in exasperation.

"I'm happy that you are finally getting a social life outside of volleyball! And with a girl! It's just amazing!"

"Well, he is meeting her to teach her volleyball so it's not exactly 'outside' of volleyball," Akane remarked.

"It's a detail! Everyone from Shiratorizawa is going to be so happy! And they'll be _green_ not to be here to see you on your first date – which, I will not spy on, I promise."

" _I will_ , I want to see that, ah ah!" Oikawa exclaimed with an amused laugh.

"That's rude, you won't get anywhere near him to embarrass him on his date," Iwaizumi said with a frown.

"It's not a date. Shiori, don't send a message to anyone, it's not important."

"Of course, it is!"

" _Why_ are you so adamant on me dating someone? You know very well it's not my priority of the moment and it was a complete disaster and waste of time the last time you tried to set me up with someone." Wakatoshi continued, frowning.

Before Shiori could answer, Bokuto intervened:

"Hold on! You had a _girlfriend?!_ You never told us! You're not talking about this fiancé thing with Ayaka back in our second-year?! Because then, I'm glad it turned out into a disaster and–"

Ayaka elbowed him with wide eyes, flushing lightly:

"Koutarou! You can't say that…"

"It's all right, we both agreed to stop our relationship when we realised it would never work between us. Plus, you loved Bokuto too much to think of being with anyone else, isn't it?" Ushijima said calmly.

"And if I remember well, Bokuto-san, you stubbornly refused to let go of Ayaka and decided to fight to be with her, isn't it? I remember you showing up in our classroom with a huge bouquet of carnations and _demanded_ , in front of half of Fukurodani gathered here out of curiosity, that she confesses her feelings to you." Akaashi continued with a teasing smile.

"You did what?! I would have loved to see this!" Oikawa exclaimed with a huge smile, amused by the owl's embarrassment.

"I-it was! I! I was foolish, young and in love! I _still_ am in love, but–"

"You also confessed your feelings for Ayaka-san by sneaking into the broadcasting room and interrupting the graduation ceremony of our third-years and got suspended because of your stup–"

"AKEEASSHI!"

"It's so romantic…" Kiku whispered, eyes sparkling.

"It was mostly incredibly fun when it happened!" Ami chuckled.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" Bokuto exclaimed.

Koutarou hid his red face in his hands, in a very Ayaka-ish manner, and everyone laughed while his girlfriend stared at him with a soft look in her eyes. When he looked up from his hands, their eyes met and despite the embarrassment, they smiled thinking back on the memories.

Wakatoshi sighed, looking away, and Oikawa was the only one to notice it in the commotion. He stared at him for a short moment, before lowering his head then, just as the others were turning back towards Ushiwaka to ask him more about his previous relationships that they had been unaware off until now, Oikawa spoke up:

"Akaashi-kun! What other mischiefs did these two do while they were turning around each other?" He asked eagerly.

Akaashi blinked, surprised, while Bokuto barked an embarrassed "OIKKEEAYA!" that was ignored. Ushijima and Iwaizumi also looked at the setter, stunned, by Oikawa's intervention. Except Bokuto and the chuckling girls, they all understood that Oikawa had helped out Ushijima from more embarrassing, uncomfortable questions:

"Ah, well, there's this time–" Akaashi continued.

"AKEEASGHI!" Bokuto exclaimed, making everyone smile and laugh.

Discreetly, Ushijima sighed in relief and sat down on his towel, sending a thankful glance in Oikawa's direction. He glanced quickly at him, vaguely acknowledging the silent thank you before turning back to listen to Akaashi's story.

A few minutes later, Ushijima stood up to join the girl who was waiting at the volleyball nets.

"Oikawa," he called, turning towards the setter and staring at him firmly.

"Y-yes? What is it, Ushiwaka?" He asked, leaning away instinctively.

"…Come with me. Give me some advices on how to talk to her."

Everyone was a little surprised he was taking this seriously enough to ask advices from _Oikawa_ himself – though, Iwaizumi made a worried face. Oikawa blinked just as Kuroo got offended:

"OI! Why do you ask _him?!_ I have more experience with girls than him!" He exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hooking with lots of girls doesn't give you more experience – you had only one girlfriend who wasn't just for sex. You don't get to give advices, especially not after _our_ mess." Akane mumbled, glaring at him.

"Is this jealousy I see in your eyes?" He asked with a teasing grin.

"As if!"

"AHAH! It's no surprise that I win here, as more popular guy among us! And the most experienced in conversing with a beautiful lady!" Oikawa exclaimed, standing proudly, hands on his hips.

"You mean, the only one of us who has _no_ girlfriend or dating perspective?" Iwaizumi asked, raising an eyebrow and making the others snort.

Oikawa closed his eyes, an annoyed vein popping at his forehead, trying to ignore his friend's remark.

"Iwa-chan, shut up for once. It's my moment of glory! I _knew_ that eventually Ushiwaka would come to ME for help, requesting _my_ advices and–"

"Just go already…" Iwaizumi mumbled, rolling his eyes.

Oikawa glared at him but Ushijima turned around and started walking, Oikawa following him in a hurry to give him plenty of advices that would, according to Iwa-chan, prove to be garbage and useless.

Iwaizumi was about to roll his eyes when he noticed Shiori's far-away look:

"Don't worry, he might be the one with the most experience with girls, but he doesn't mean he's been collecting them or whatever. He's very respectful of women and one of the reason why he decided to stop dating altogether, until he'd fall in love, is out of respect for the one he'll eventually love." He said, knowing _she_ knew he was referring to her.

"That's… he's very admirable…" She murmured with a soft smile that surprised Iwaizumi.

He didn't comment on it but after a glance at Kiku, he knew he hadn't dreamt it. Gods, if only Oikawa and Shiori could get their heads together and stop wasting time…

Meanwhile, Oikawa was relentlessly giving advices that Ushijima was only half-listening to:

"Oikawa," he interrupted suddenly.

"Mmm?"

"Thank you for earlier, you helped me out, didn't you?"

Oikawa remained silent a moment, his smile disappearing before nodding:

"Yeah… you seemed unlike yourself. Can I ask you something?" He asked curiously, trying to ignore the feeling of weirdness settling in his stomach from _talking_ to _Ushiwaka_.

"Sure."

"We all know that in our second-years, you and Ayaka almost got together. It's obvious it didn't work out – and I can't imagine you with such a bubbly, happy girl – but… other than the fact Ayaka-chan, and Bokuto, were in love with each other, why else did you break it off? And why are you so reluctant when it comes to dating? I mean, it took a long time for Iwa-chan to start dating Kiku-chan but that's because he's awkward as heck when it comes to girls – it's a miracle he got one at all and he's got _me_ to thank for and–"

Used to his rambling, Ushijima tuned it off, thinking about his question and wondering whether or not he should answer it. If he even had an answer to it. A lot of his friends, Shiori, his family, had asked the same question – why decide to break off something that could have turned out great? They hadn't felt strong enough for each other to bet their entire lives on something so fragile – that was his answer. But he knew there was more to it, to his own heart, and that Oikawa would figure it out.

"I'm not sure," he admitted, "But… I suppose I'm not socially skilled enough to be comfortable with the idea of dating someone."

"MMmm…" Oikawa hummed, staring at him, trying to understand him.

"And…"

Oikawa raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging him to keep talking. Ushijima's steps slowed down until he went to a stop and the setter turned around to stare at him.

"And I suppose I didn't like the idea of the woman I should love being chosen for me. I want to choose my own path, and it includes my friends and the woman I'll eventually love. I don't want to waste time with meaningless relationships and I want to keep all of my heart for one person."

Tooru's lips opened and closed and he looked down, realizing that his wishes were very similar to his own – wanting to fall in love with this special one and only, instead of accumulating meaningless relationships. But unlike him, Ushiwaka hadn't needed to have relationships to satisfy his pride. His pride, always his _pride_ , uh…

"I can understand that. I… I admire that." Oikawa admitted, glancing very quickly at his– at his teammate…

Ushijima stared at him, eyes slightly widened, a little surprised, before understanding that they shared the same perspective.

"And I also suppose that it doesn't help that, added to my poor social skills and the wish to not waste my time, I don't have anyone around me who had a stable, good relationship. Except Bokuto-san and Ayaka-san, I don't know anyone else enough to have the proof that love doesn't hurt."

He paused, glancing quickly at the sea and the families, friends and couples, playing there.

"None of my friends in high-school had a stable relationship. Shiori isn't happy with Shouhei. My parents divorced when I was young and it all left some apprehension… I suppose I'm looking for the proof that love is worth it after all…"

Tooru glanced up, his heart clenching when he heard that Shiori wasn't happy. He knew it, but it still hurt to know that the woman he… that the woman whose happiness mattered most, _wasn't_ happy.

"I'm sorry about your parents, even if I already knew they had divorced." Oikawa said, knowing that he was very lucky his family had always been stable.

"It's okay, I was young, I don't remember much. They're happier now."

He paused, glanced at Oikawa then over his shoulder, in the direction of their group of their friends.

"I wish… Shiori could understand that she can be happier on her own than in a meaningless relationship but she's convinced she's not good enough if she's not with Shouhei. I never understood it, and she never quite explained her motivations either…"

Tooru looked away, lips thin and his body more tense than he intended. He didn't even realize the way he had unconsciously reacted until Ushiwaka tapped his shoulder, a little awkwardly, but the intention of trying to be comforting was here. Tooru was almost, _almost_ grateful and that feeling made him pout stubbornly.

"I should go, I don't want to be late. I'll keep your advices in mind, even though I doubt anything will come out of this." Ushijima said.

"Shiori will be happy for you, and her smile is worth it!" He exclaimed without thinking.

Ushijima stared at him with wide eyes, and Tooru realized what he had said. He blushed and immediately turned away, holding back the reflex of trying to cover his mouth to take back what he had just said.

 _Right, good job Tooru! Go ahead and say such an embarrassing thing to Shiori's COUSIN and your worst enemy!_

"…Right." Ushijima said.

He patted his shoulder again and it felt so much like a "good luck" pat that Oikawa couldn't help but shove his hand and started stomping away:

"Good luck to YOU and that _poor girl!"_ He exclaimed, without looking in Ushijima's way.

He missed the slight roll of eyes from Ushiwaka, and the way his lips tilted up in almost amusement.

The day could have gone as usual if it weren't for the slight embarrassment from Tetsurou and Akane. They were acting like usual most of the time, but every once in a while they'd glance at each other and flush. They'd awkwardly reach for each other's hands, hold them for a short moment then pull apart. Tetsurou tried twice to discreetly kiss her cheek – a kiss on the lips were too embarrassing in public now that they were a couple – but both times Akane hadn't realized what he was doing and had moved, making him trip and almost fall over.

"It's so strange that they are so comfortable when it comes to dealing with sexual tension of any sort, but now that they are actually dating, they're more awkward than kittens trying to walk for the first time…" Ayaka remarked from afar at some point.

Koutarou laughed loudly at the comparison before looking down at her:

"Well! They _are_ kittens when it comes to love! I'm willing to bet that by the end of the day, Kuroo will come asking me advices on how to make it less awkward."

Ayaka glanced at him with an amused smile. Akaashi, who was right behind and had heard everything, couldn't help but comment:

"I will never get over the fact that out of all of us, you are the one they are turning to for love advice."

"What does that mean?! I've always been good and faithful in my relationship with Ayaka!"

"Except for an entire year in which you failed at even realizing you were in love with her to begin with." Akaashi said, raising an eyebrow.

"GEh! AKEaasghi! Don't say it like that! I sound like a complete dumbass!"

Iwaizumi and Oikawa who were passing by snorted at that, without saying anything but it was enough to have Bokuto whip around.

"OI! Don't think I haven't heard you two! Go ahead and say it to my face! You think I'm an idiot?! I'll let you know that a lot of the struggle Ayaka and I went through did NOT come from our own stupidity and awkwardness but from outside factors!"

"We're not saying you're an idiot, on the contrary, you're very admirable for having such a stable, envying relationship as the one you two share!" Iwaizumi said with a shrug, but still smiling in amusement to see the owls banter like that, "I'm not sure I would have been able to handle that much pressure from the Kanemoto family."

"You're pretty stubborn too from what I heard about your story with Kiku-chan…" Bokuto answered, staring at him with his eyes doing this owl-ish thing that freaked Iwaizumi out a little.

"Yeaaah… _well_ , it's completely different."

"Not that a girl as well-raised as Ayaka-chan would be interested in your rude manners anyway, Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa teased.

"Oi! I'm very well raised and polite!"

"Not with _me!"_

"You know _why!"_

When Ushijima came back, no one asked him anything out of respect for his privacy – but they were all burning in impatience to have one of them to be brave enough to go out there and ask the Super Ace what they _all_ wanted to know. It was on their way back to the home that Bokuto finally cracked and turned around towards his friend:

"SO! What happened, Ushiwaka?" He asked excitedly.

Everyone turned around at once, staring at Ushijima expectantly and silently blessing Bokuto for having the balls to start the topic.

"…It was nice." Ushijima answered after a short hesitation.

They were waiting for more, but they only got silence.

"That's _it?_ You got _my_ advices and that's all you can say?!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Hush, let him deal with it on his own. If you're not comfortable sharing what happened and how you feel with us, Wakatoshi, we'll respect that." Shiori said with a smile.

Then she turned away from her cousin, biting hard on her lower lip, everyone knowing that despite her words, she was the most curious of them.

 _She wants to know so badly_ … They all thought with amused expressions on their faces.

Wakatoshi must have known it too because he sighed and put his hand on the top of her head, making her look up at him curiously (and expectantly):

"She was a very nice girl. We might see each other again before we leave for Tokyo." He said, satisfying everyone's curiosity.

"Really?!" She exclaimed happily, hoping up and down, "Then! Are you dating?! Should I tell Satori to prepare a party to welcome her and introduce her to Shiratorizawa?! Did you kiss her? What's her name? Do you–"

"Shiori." He said in a dark voice.

"S-sorry, I-I got a little excited…" She said sheepishly, pulling some strands of hair behind her ear.

"I noticed. And don't tell Tendou or I'll never hear the end of it…" He mumbled.

"Too late."

He stared at her firmly and she pretended to be busy staring at the sea.

"You didn't answer though, did you kiss her~?" Kuroo asked teasingly.

"I didn't."

"Do you even know how to kiss? Do you need practice?" He continued with a wink, trying to embarrass the Super Ace who was, unfortunately, in perfect control of himself.

"No, thank you."

Kuroo looked so disheartened by his constant deadpan expression that everyone couldn't help but chuckle.

Shiori smiled, glad to see her cousin get along so well with his new teammates, and seeing that they were more than a team – they were _friends_. She had been worried for him, but he was in good hands with these dorks.

She didn't notice that Oikawa had been staring at her, without quite realizing it himself. He wasn't aware of the smile that had appeared on his face either. Only Iwaizumi noticed any of it, glancing between the two and sighing to himself. For someone who was so good at reading people, Oikawa was a mess when it came to Shiori or himself.

During the evening, it was Akane's turn to do the cooking, and Tetsurou volunteered to help her out. The newly formed couple glanced at each other shyly, quietly starting to gather the food to prepare dinner for the entire group. Like always, as if they were in a lab, they worked in perfect harmony, as if they had done this their entire lives. They didn't realize that little by little the others were leaving to go in the garden to give them some intimacy.

"I'll help you out too, I haven't helped out since the other day!" Bokuto exclaimed, approaching the couple in the kitchen.

"Koutarou! Come here and help me out a little!" Ayaka immediately shouted from the garden.

"What's going on?"

"Just _come!"_

Kiku, who was walking by, started pushing Bokuto away, all the while glancing at Tetsurou and Akane:

"Don't hesitate to call for help if you need any~!" She said, getting Bokuto away before he could open his mouth again.

Tetsurou and Akan glanced at each other, hearing the smothered voices of their friends as they cheerily discussed in the garden – probably about Ushiwaka's new love life, and the two of them.

"…They did it on purpose, didn't they?" She asked, turning back towards the vegetables to cut.

"…Yeah…"

They worked in silence, chopping and advancing in the cooking, occasionally glancing at each other. Earlier, Tetsurou had gone to Bokuto, pulling him away from the group and asking him a few advices on how to make things less awkward – he didn't understand why the owl proudly laughed in his face. But well. He had gotten his advices. _Act natural, start a conversation, make touching each other casual…_

Tetsurou glanced at Akane and approached his arm to her, with the intention of surrounding her shoulders and try to get her closer to him. It'd be nice. Right? That was what couples did. Right…?

He received a tomato in his hand. He looked between the tomato in his hand and Akane, stunned and embarrassed.

"Um…"

"You were reaching for the vegetables on my side, right? There you go. I don't like cutting tomatoes." She said, continuing to chop the vegetables and carefully avoiding the tomatoes.

"…Right. Thanks…" He said, starting to cut the tomato, blushing just as red in embarrassment.

Tetsurou frowned to himself and turned to his left where, hidden from Akane's view by his own body, were Bokuto and Oikawa standing behind the kitchen window. Watching him. Oikawa was filming. Tetsurou will die of embarrassment. He glared at them but Bokuto made him signs to talk to Akane, while Oikawa was giving him the thumbs up. Tetsurou couldn't tell if it was to encourage him to talk, or to keep embarrassing himself.

"So… you don't like cutting tomatoes?" He started, turning back towards Akane, and realizing it was a stupid topic.

"The juice splashes everywhere, urgh," she answered, passing him the other tomatoes.

Tetsurou had no idea what to say then, he turned back towards Bokuto and Oikawa for help but they were getting dragged away by Kiku and Ayaka, both didn't look happy about the two idiots distracting him. _They_ were the ones who looked like they needed help at the moment.

He turned back towards Akane, about to say something stupid again, when she suddenly planted the knife in the cucumber she was cutting – he didn't like that and had to hold back from reaching for his crotch in protection.

"It's awkward as hell! What the fuck?!" She exclaimed, whipping towards him.

"…Yes. Please don't attack cucumbers when I'm in the same room." He said, reaching for the knife and unstabbing the vegetable.

Akane rolled her eyes, probably thinking him lame for such a reaction.

"But you're right." He said, leaning against the counter to look at her, "I guess we're not used to just…"

"Show love? With little attentions?" She finished.

"Yeah…"

He put a hand through his messy hair that felt drier than usual with all the ocean's salt. Akane hesitated before giving him a light punch against his side, attracting his attention back to him. She gave him a side-smile that made his stomach turn upside down.

"Don't trouble yourself with that, we'll get used to it. And I doubt we'll _ever_ be as overly sweet as Ayaka-chan and Bokuto."

It was so stupid but just a smile and a few words from Akane, and he felt better already. Smiling, he grabbed her hip and pulled her to him, kissing her. She seemed surprised by it but quickly put her hands against his neck, deepening the kiss. It was long, tender and hot. When they pulled away to breathe, he let his chin rest on top of her head, grinning like a fool.

"Thanks, it's reassuring to know we're both struggling… I… I don't want to mess it up…"

"You're doing great so far, if it can be any comfort." She said, smiling in amusement.

He chuckled and after the slightest of hesitation, Akane buried her face in his chest. It took him a moment to react smoothly but he surrounded his arms around her. It was nice. Maybe they were comfortable doing such things only when they were on their own, unlike the two unashamed loveowls.

Tetsurou pulled away and put his fingers under her chin, slowly lifting her face so he could kiss her again but she suddenly pulled away, eyes wide.

"CURRY! Fuck, the curry!" she shouted.

She pushed him away, hurrying to pull away the curry from the fire. They had been so lost into each other that they had forgotten they were supposed to cook and they hadn't noticed the smell of burning.

They managed to somehow save the curry, and once the panic was gone, they glanced at each other and couldn't help but laugh. Tetsurou kissed the top of her head and the ice was broken.

"Is this a burning curry I smell?" Kiku suspiciously asked from the garden.

"If you are making out instead of cooking, you won't be allowed to cook together anymore!" Bokuto exclaimed.

"No, nope! Nothing! We're fine!" Akane exclaimed sheepishly as she looked at the slightly browner-than-normal curry.

"Are they going to be banned from the kitchen too?" Ayaka asked hopefully.

"No." Everyone answered her.

Both Tetsurou and Akane chuckled in amusement, in the kitchen, as they finished preparing food. Once it was ready, they brought it all to the others, hoping no one would comment on the burnt taste.

"By the way!" Ayaka exclaimed suddenly, looking in the direction of Tetsurou and Akane, "Kuroo-san, your cousin is getting married soon, right? Are you going to take Akane-chan there?"

They glanced at each other, remembering that they had a few days to organise it. Back when they were 'just' sex-friends, Akane had agreed to come with him. But since then they had broken up, _and_ gotten back together.

"…If you're still up for it… I should probably warn my mom before though…" Tetsurou said.

"Do you have a dress, Akane-chan? What will you wear?"

"Can we go shopping then~?"

"I…"

Akane's voice trailed off then she glanced up at Tetsurou who was bringing curry and rice to his mouth. He stopped when he noticed her gaze, the food stopped mid-air.

"Mm?"

"…I'm going to meet your _mother?_ As your real _girlfriend?!"_ She realized, eyes wide.

"…Ah."

And the curry and rice fell down on his laps. Everyone laughed at their panic, before sharing advices that would probably be useless, considering neither Akane nor Tetsurou were listening. It was only the following day, after a good night sleep, that they seemed to have been over it – which was good so they could enjoy their last two days at the beach. They did the same activities, enjoying it as much as possible and decided to go to the dancing bar from the beach for their last evening. Akane saw the bartender from the other day, who winked in congratulations when he saw the specimen she had gotten AKA Kuroo Tetsurou. He even seemed a little jealous in her felicity. Wakatoshi met again with the girl from the other day and they spent most of the evening together, being miraculously left alone by his invading friends. Oikawa and Shiori disappeared at some point, without ever telling anything about what had happened to the curious ones who had asked them questions. They were flushed, but the mystery remained.

As for Akane and Tetsurou, there was no whining this time when she had to sit on his laps for the way back to Tokyo. He even encouraged her with much innuendo in order to embarrass Akaashi, Ami, Ayaka and to some extent, Bokuto.

And the following day… Tetsurou's heart was beating fast and he nervously wiped the sweat off his palms on his pants.

"So elegant…" Akane grumbled from the bed on which she was sitting with NeKo on her laps.

"Shut up."

"It can't be _that_ hard to just call her and tell your mom I'll be joining after all. Unless you don't want of me and in that case–"

"That's not the problem!" Tetsurou exclaimed, turning around.

He was flushed and he momentarily buried his face in his hands, before passing his hands through his hair. Akane sighed lightly before staring at him, waiting for him to be willing to talk – or call his mother, whatever would go through his head first.

"It's just– the last time I told my mom I had a real girlfriend, someone I-I care for… it didn't end well… it's making me nervous… Even though she knows about you– _knew_ about you, I mean– it's one thing to show up together and _pretend_ to be in love, even though we were mostly in love already anyway– but introduce you to my family as the person I want to spend… to spend… a lot of time with… possibly the rest of my life…"

Akane stared at him, eyes slightly widened in astonishment. It was her turn to flush and she distracted herself by caressing NeKo who started purring.

"It's nerve-wrecking…" He concluded before sighing, "Mostly because I know what my mother wants for me– for _us_ , and it's even more… embarrassing…"

He looked down at the floor and Akane kept her lips tight, trying to find something to cheer him up.

After a short moment of panic during the dinner the other day, and after a pep talk from all the couples about how meeting your significant other's parents wasn't _that_ scary, Akane had relaxed. Tetsurou's mother seemed nice and funny, she had been the one to invite Akane to begin with to this wedding and eventually, if they wanted to be serious about one another, she'll have to meet the most important woman in Tetsurou's life. Tetsurou on the other hand had not relaxed and the more he thought about it, the more he stupidly convinced himself that if he introduced Akane to his mom, like he had introduced Kohaku a couple of years ago, then their relationship would end as terribly. Like Bokuto had said, trying to encourage him _"that's completely stupid!"_ and as Iwaizumi had added _"just because you're reaching the same step doesn't mean it's the same relationship – you kissed both girls and yet it doesn't mean you'll meet the same ending."_

Akane sighed, pushing off NeKo who whined unhappily before going back to sleep, she stood and went to Tetsurou's side. He lifted up his face when she arrived next to him and started to hesitantly put her hands through his hair, pushing it backwards and making it even messier. Without realizing it, he closed his eyes, soothed by the comforting touch. Akane leaned down, kissing his forehead, then sat on his laps to look him in the eyes:

"I know you're traumatized by what happened with Kohaku. But I'm not her. The relationship we have now isn't the same you had with her. I… I know there are still things untold between us, but I _will_ tell you everything, as soon as I'm ready for it. Because I want us to work." She said, voice trembling a little at the end.

He stared into her eyes, and instead of finding the passionate fire that set fire to his heart and lust, he found the comforting light of home. Sighing, he closed his eyes again, leaning his forehead against hers.

"…Me too. I want us to work."

"If you're not ready to tell your mother that we're back together… it's okay. I don't absolutely have to go to that wedding, after all."

"No, I want you there. You even bought a dress for it. Which you refused to show me…" He grumbled, thinking back on the last day of holiday with their group of friends, and the girls dragging Akane to a wedding shopping session.

She moved until her smiling lips touched his forehead.

"It'll be a surprise~! I want you to be frozen in complete awe, the way the groom will be left breathless by his bride when she'll walk down the aisle." She said.

"I'm always in awe of you, regardless of what you wear," he answered, smiling as well.

She kissed his temple and reached behind him, for his phone on the desk. Then she showed it to him.

"Whatever you decide, it's okay," she said with an encouraging smile.

He took the phone and finally called his mother. It rang a few times, during which Akane went back on the bed to not block him when he would surely start bouncing his leg, like he always did when nervous.

" _Hello?"_

"Mom! Hi!" He exclaimed, unconsciously straightening up.

" _Tetsurou, how was your holiday with Kou-chan and–"_

"I'm marrying Akane!" He exclaimed quickly and nervously.

Akane stared at him with wide eyes, mouth falling open and blushing. It took him a moment to realize what he had just said, blush then react in complete panic while the silence kept going on the other end of the call:

"I-I mean! I'm not marrying her! I mean, maybe! Someday! I mean, we're not engaged or anything! But we're back together, and I-I'd like to take her to the wedding! Y-you know, Masuyo's wedding! Not _my_ wedding! I… I mean…"

 _Perhaps_ he should have thought in advance on what to say to his mother…

Akane threw him a hard look, before rolling her eyes and shaking her head in despair as he was making panicked signs in her direction to explain his words. Meanwhile there was silence on the other end of the call.

"M-mom…?" He finally called, feeling sweaty and almost nauseous.

There was a short breath, perhaps of relief but he wasn't sure.

" _Kuroo Tetsurou. You just made me lose twenty years of my life, young man."_

"I-I'm sorry…" He answered, pouting.

" _You are so intelligent but you can be such a derp sometimes… You really need to work on your eloquence and controlling your nerves."_

He made a whining, grumbling sound then his mother sighed heavily.

" _So, you're back with Akane-chan. It's not some silly story to hide whatever truth it was all about?"_

"No, it's– wait, you knew I was only pretending to be dating her?!"

" _I'm your_ _ **mother**_ _. Of course I knew."_

"O-oh…"

" _You wouldn't be so nervous if it weren't real now. Are you happy?"_

Tetsurou's heart missed a beat and he couldn't help but smile softly.

"Yeah… yes, I am."

" _Good, that's all I want for you, honey. I'm impatient to meet Akane-chan after all these years. You two come home Friday so we can all travel to Kyoto. Okay?"_

"Okay…"

" _I have to go, but we'll see soon. Give my love to Akane-chan as well, and wish her good luck."_

"Why good luck?"

" _She's dating you, it's enough reason."_

"Mom!"

" _I'm just kidding!"_

Her laugh was warm and it reassured him, as if proving that what was happening between Akane and him was good.

" _Have a nice day, honey! I love you!"_

"Love you too, mom…"

He ended the call, still smiling and under Akane's curious eyes.

"So?" She asked impatiently.

"She's impatient to meet you, and she wishes you good luck apparently." He answered, smiling.

Akane smiled then, her lips trembled and she started laughing loudly, startling him.

"I definitely need the encouragement!"

"OI! Have you two decided to embarrass me, is that it?! You actually know each other and you're playing a prank on me, uh?!" He exclaimed, standing up and approaching her.

She let herself fall on top of the bed, still laughing.

"Maybe!"

"You little…!"

He grabbed her legs and pulled her to him, making her scream and laugh even more. He fell on top of her heavily, nuzzling into her neck to tickle her. Her body squirmed under him as she tried to escape, but it was useless. She was trapped by his strong arms, and her laugh that wouldn't stop. Finally, both exhausted emotionally after the phone call of the death and the tickling war, Tetsurou dropped on his side, looking down at her with a silly smile on his face.

"I really like you, you know…" He said, flushing.

She flushed as well, glancing up at him just as another happy laugh was bubbling in her throat. But then, she just reached up to kiss his lips quickly.

"I really like you too…" She answered.

Before he could say a thing, she pushed him down on the bed and swung her leg over his hips to straddle him.

"Now~! We came home too late last night and didn't have any fun, but I expect you to work hard to catch up on all the intimate moments we missed because the others were around…" She said in a hot voice, leaning down to kiss him sensually.

" _Damn_ , I love how you think…" He answered, diving head-on into paradise.

Less than a week later, that went by very quickly, filled with love-making, small attentions and tender words, Akane and Tetsurou went back to their childhood neighbourhood. It would be the second time she would enter his house, the first time in years and as his _girlfriend_. They were both carrying bags for the few days they'll spend at Kyoto for the wedding and they had to meet Tetsurou's mom and all go together to prevent the young students to pay for the journey.

"Shouldn't _I_ be the nervous one?" Akane asked when she noticed him constantly moving his hands in and out of his pockets.

"Don't pretend you're not nervous, you keep checking your phone to distract yourself." He replied, making her startle guiltily because he was right – she was meeting her _boyfriend's mother_ for the first time, after all…

"…Are you nervous because of this whole thing with Kohaku and that stupid idea of yours that if I meet your mother, it'll be bad luck?" She asked, sighing.

"No, I mean, yeah, a little but also… she's got a boyfriend. One for a long time apparently and I never met him. She seems happy so I don't want him to be an asshole…" He explained, unconsciously frowning.

Akane smiled lightly then reached for his hand, awkwardly grabbing it and squeezing it reassuringly like she had seen Ayaka and Kiku do with their respective boyfriends.

"If she's happy it's a good sign, right? What do you know about him?"

"Just that he's divorced and has a daughter around our age."

Tetsurou laughed nervously, looking down at her:

"I remember thinking back then that with my luck, it'd be your father or something and we'd become siblings."

"That'd be a nightmare," she answered coldly, looking away.

Before he could ask her anything, they arrived at the corner of the Kuroo house. There was a familiar car in front of it, but it wasn't his mother's. Kuroo Miki, and her boyfriend, were both waiting for them outside the house and turned with smiles to greet them.

Both Tetsurou and Akane went to a stop upon recognizing the man.

* * *

 _Next chapter, you'll find out who the man is. I'll try to write it asap~! Reviews and encouragements are always appreciated! ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	20. Asstatine

_Hey! Finally posting a new chapter, sorry for the time it took me! I posted not long ago an Oikawa chapter so what I'll share with you ehre might get redundant but it's for the ones who read only Kuroo's fanfic. Two messages that need to be shared with you:_

 _Firstly, after the Iwa-chan one-shot for his birthday, I decided to write more one-shots for the boys' birhtdays. Guess the next one? Oikawa! July 20th! Look forward to it! If you want something or a character in particular, you can ask and I'll try to include as much as possible! :D For the ones I'm certain I'll post: Ushijima, Bokuto, Kuroo, Akaashi (in that order, following the birthdays)._

 _Secondly, as you might know writing fanfics is just a hobby but I DO want to become a writer. I started writing, a few years back, a fantasy novel which I intend to send to a publisher as soon as it's ready. As you know I'm French so it's written in French. I'm gonig to launch a page with this project in mind for the long-term but on the short-term it's also, ad mostly, for my fanfiction readers so that you can have more of my writings. I'll keep you updated on the launching date and if there is anthing you would like to see on my page, stuff only patrons would have access too, etc. please share it with me! I want to know what you think about it and what you want! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed last chapter! I hope you'll enjoy the next one as well! :D_

 _PLAYLIST'S SONGS:_ _Blue – Marine & the Diamonds ; __Warmth – Bastille_

 _ **booklover2098** : You'll have the answer on who this guy is very soon~! ;)_

 _ **Cheshire Cat :** I'm so glad you're back! I do miss reviews from my old readers, I don't know if they still read so it's nice to know you do! :) And what you said in your review made me SO HAPPY! I'm so glad to know that you like Akane, and how I write Kuroo and the other characters... As fo mystery-guy, his identity will eb revealed very soon. ;) You're right aboutt he quotes, I have to calm down with them XD I just have a file with all the quotes I kept because it reminded me of AkaKuro (or Shiokwa) so I have a tendency of overdoing it. BUT the number of quotes also depends on the length of the chapter. :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XX : Asstatine

" _We need not be afraid to touch, to feel, to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what you are, what you feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want you to be."_

— **Leo Buscaglia**

" _One word_

 _Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:_

 _That word is love."_

— **Sophocles, Oedipus at Colonus**

" _Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you'd follow them straight into hell…"_

— **Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever**

" _If I love you, it means we share the same fantasies, the same madness."_

— **Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1**

" _Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it."_

— **David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary**

" _You teach me again what it is_

 _To be human…"_

— **Paul Éluard, Liberty**

" _You see I'd like to have you not just like me in bed but like me in the head and like to talk about things that interest us both."_

— **Ernest Hemingway, The Complete Short Stories**

" _I do not believe people are halves;_

 _But I do believe that he makes me whole."_

— **Carson Clawson**

" _You touched the strings of my heart which I had no idea about."_

— **Omer Iqbal**

Tetsurou and Akane arrived at the corner of the Kuroo house. There was a familiar car in front of it, but it wasn't his mother's. Kuroo Miki, and her boyfriend, were both waiting for them outside the house and turned around with smiles to greet them.

Both Tetsurou and Akane went to a stop upon recognizing the man.

There was a moment of tense silence during which the young couple glanced at each other, silently asking if they were dreaming this. But they had had the same reaction, it wasn't a dream.

"Oshiro-sensei?!" They both exclaimed in the same time.

Their former teacher from high-school chuckled warmly, amused by their reaction, even if _they_ weren't quite as amused.

"Sorry for the surprise, we should have probably warned you, Kuroo-kun," he said.

Akane glanced at Tetsurou who was staring, completely shocked, at Oshiro-sensei and Kuroo Miki. His mom and his former literature teacher smiled at him a little awkwardly.

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you earlier Tetsurou, but you can understand why we couldn't say anything when you were still in high-school and–"

Without a word, Tetsurou turned around and started walking away.

"W-wait! Tetsurou!" Miki exclaimed, going after him.

Oshiro Ken, her boyfriend for half a year now, grabbed her wrist and shook his head. Akane hesitated, glancing between the couple and her own boyfriend who was walking away. She bowed lightly to the two then ran after Tetsurou, quickly catching up to him before they could be out of sight:

"Wait, Tetsurou," she called, grabbing his hand.

He either didn't notice or ignored it, continuing forward and away from his mom and his teacher. Akane accelerated until she passed beyond him and could stop him, putting both of her hands on his chest.

"Stop!" She exclaimed, frowning, "Are you going to just run away?!"

He looked down at her, his eyes dangerously angry and she startled, holding back the reflex to step away. She kept her stance, and glared back.

"I'm going to punch whatever comes my way first in order not to punch this asshole." He said in a dark voice.

"The only things you could punch around here are walls or _me!_ If you really felt like punching anything, you'd have punched me already! And I would kill you before you approach a wall and break your hand, ruining your career in volleyball!"

Tetsurou opened and closed his mouth, offended she'd think he'd hurt her. But glad she wasn't hesitating in arguing back with him. It had been enough to distract him from _really_ punching a wall. He quickly glanced over his shoulder and saw his mom and Oshiro-sensei talking together, holding _hands_. He bit down on his lower lip, immediately looking away.

"What a bastard… he's been… how could he do that…?! He's a teacher, damn it!"

"…I know it's shocking but…" Akane started hesitantly.

"Are you supporting _that?!"_ He exclaimed, pointing at the older couple who looked up when they heard him raise his voice.

"I didn't say that! Listen! They're adults and they know what they're doing! Whatever reason why they hid it from you, I'm sure they'll explain and I'm sure that they didn't do anything with the intention of hurting you!"

"I'm not hurt! I'm… I'm just…"

He put his hands through his hair nervously, closing his eyes. Back in his first-year, because he was so keen on doing better than Akane in scientific subjects, he had almost dropped literature. But Oshiro-sensei was the one to give him some interests in it, he helped him out a lot – was it because of his mother? Or because he was a good teacher? Tetsurou had _obviously_ assumed the latter… In second-year, he had had a different teacher but Oshiro-sensei had been checking on him often. He was a kind teacher who looked out for his students, wasn't he? When Tetsurou had found out in third-year that Oshiro-sensei would be his teacher once again, he had been hyped and had had the best results of his entire life in literature. Because he was one of his favourite teachers. And _all_ _along…?_

He looked back over his shoulders and noticed that his mother was close to tears. Tetsurou bit down on his lower lip. Was he angry? Yes, he was. Why, he wasn't sure – was it the lies, the pretending, the overall sickening feeling that his teacher had just been interested in his mom all along? Was he disappointed? _Probably_ … the one teacher who had given him interest in literature might have been using him to get to his mom. His own mom had been hiding such a relationship…

"Tetsurou…"

He looked down as Akane gently took his hands in hers, squeezing them as reassuringly as she could.

"Come on, let's go talk to them and figure this out…" She said.

He clenched her hands back, realizing that no matter what, she'd be there. He sighed deeply then they slowly went back towards the house, and the two traitors. Tetsurou didn't stop glaring at Oshiro-sensei as they all entered the house. Tetsurou and Akane sat on the couch in front of their former teacher, while Miki was in the kitchen, preparing tea and cookies that probably no one would touch.

Hime-chan arrived in the living-room and meowed happily to see Tetsurou, but she stopped by Ken to rub his legs. Tetsurou watched the cat he had practically _raised_ purr for _that man_ as he stroked her back _then_ she came to him. What the heck was happening in his family? Since when did he feel like a complete stranger in his own house?

Oshiro must have sensed the way he felt because he kept his lips thin just as Miki arrived, wringing her hands nervously and not daring to speak up.

"So… you two are finally together?" Oshiro spoke up after a moment of silence.

Tetsurou kept glaring at him and Akane glanced up with a hard look on her face, definitely judging, as if saying _"are you serious right now?"._

"I heard about the two of you for years, from Tetsurou of course, but also Kenma and… Ken too." Miki said with a smile.

"W-we've been together for only a few… it's complicated but, we _weren't_ – back in high-school, we weren't…"

Akane's voice trailed off when Oshiro shook his head with a nope-face. She looked away with a grimace. They had both been _that_ obvious all along?

"Anyway!" Akane exclaimed when she realized that Tetsurou had no intention of saying anything, "It's… surprising to see you… again… sensei."

"I wish I could say I'm surprised too, but I knew you'd come today."

"Of course you did." She replied with a roll of her eyes.

"You're a spitfire, I can see why Tetsurou likes you," Miki said happily.

Akane looked up at her, unsmiling and frowning lightly. Then she looked between the two adults who looked down, knowing what she was silently telling them.

"But… we should stop wasting time and explain to you what… happened."

"I think we know damn well _what_ happened, we'd like to know the _why_." Akane said calmly, earning a grateful glance from Tetsurou.

Miki sighed and sat down in the other seat, glancing at Ken, then speaking up:

"Tetsurou, please look at me."

He reluctantly looked up, trying to glare but he couldn't be quite so vicious with his mom. She stared at him seriously as she spoke up:

"Do you remember in your first-year when you were failing literature?"

Akane snorted, glancing at her boyfriend victoriously, a glance which he ignored completely. Tetsurou didn't answer before sighing and nodding.

"I was worried about you failing the subject, so I had asked your mother to come so we could talk about your results. You had promised to work harder and you did." Oshiro said, "We… we really didn't mean for anything to happen but not long after, we ran into each other in town and started talking, about you mostly."

Tetsurou rolled his eyes, still remaining silent and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then we kept in touch and… we fell in love…" Miki continued, "But we…"

"We decided to not date, to not disturb you." Ken added.

Tetsurou glanced up warily, staring at him suspiciously.

"We only started seeing each other as a couple in your second semester of your third-year it was… _impossible_ to keep ourselves from each other any more… But we decided to keep it a secret from you to not disturb you in your last year. You had your finals, your university entrance exams, you had just broken up with Kohaku-chan, you were the captain of the volleyball team… I… It might not have been the choice you would have wanted us to make, but we did it in order to keep you as safe as possible." Miki explained, biting on her lower lip.

"You and your future." Ken added.

Akane remarked that Tetsurou had the same habit of biting his lower lip when he was particularly nervous or worried. She could definitely see the resemblance between the two, except maybe the eyes. She glanced at Tetsurou who kept silent, but he was staring at the two more calmly now, probably realizing that for better or worse, they had _tried_ to think of him and to prevent this from happening.

"Tetsurou, please, say something…" Miki finally pleaded.

He looked up at her, then stared firmly at Oshiro Ken.

"You're a fucking asshole."

" _Tetsurou!"_

"It's okay, he's not completely wrong anyway…" Oshiro sighed, "I wouldn't have wanted my mother to date one of my teachers as well."

"No one would want that! It's creepy as hell!" Tetsurou exclaimed, finally letting it out, "You ogled my mom, you two were talking _about me_ and you were flirting and I don't want to know what else you did all the while being my teacher! How could you ever look at me in the eyes after that?!"

"Believe it or not, but I never treated you any differently from any other student. You can ask Saito-san here, you weren't the only one who needed to receive some scolding for not studying literature enough. And I believe that whenever I would walk past you in the halls, I would ask you how you were doing. Saito-san?"

She grumbled but nodded, confirming his words.

"I never had the intention of hurting you, or your mother, from the beginning. I've always treated both of you with respect. I treated you as my student and for as long as I could, I held back my feelings for Miki. But better than anyone, you two should understand what happens when you fight feelings that are stronger than you…"

Tetsurou looked down, before glancing at Akane and meeting her eyes.

"It could be worse," she said calmly, "At least you know he's not a complete asshole and has a brain, he's been our teacher, after all. And he managed to get _you_ to have an above average grade in literature and _that_ was a complete miracle."

"Thanks for the words of encouragement…" He mumbled, looking away and flushing in embarrassment.

His leg started bouncing nervously and finally, after a long moment of silence, Tetsurou stood up, carefully avoiding looking at his mom or his former teacher:

"You're adults anyway! Do whatever you want! If you hurt my mom, former teacher or not, I'll kill you!" He exclaimed, before going in the direction of the stairs.

Akane watched him go, wondering if she should follow him. She glanced at Miki, then Oshiro-sensei, and stood up, feeling too awkward to stay with them. She found Tetsurou in his old bedroom, pacing around and grumbling to himself. She remained in the doorway and glanced around.

"It hasn't changed at all…" She remarked with a light smile.

Tetsurou turned around and followed her gaze all around his bedroom.

"We should have figured it out all that time ago, right…" He said with a side smile.

 _Lightning strike. Back in middle-school, during a summer thunderstorm, Tetsurou had gone_ _to a stop upon noticing a girl curled up against a wall. She was wearing the Nekoma uniform and kept her face hidden in her knees, long, silky hair keeping her from the world like curtains. Little Tetsurou's heart missed a beat as he stared at her and recognized the pretty, shy girl from his class. Saito Akane._

 _He wanted to go home but…_

 _Akane startled when she didn't feel the rain falling on her and instead, heard a light tapping. She looked up, stunned, just as lightning struck through the sky. Her reddish eyes, turned metallic from the lightning bolt, met Kuroo Tetsurou's. His amber eyes seemed to be a melting gold from the lightning. They both seemed stunned and flushed when their hearts sped up, to the rhythm of the thunder._

 _That was it. That was the moment, the defining moment of the beginning of their relationship, whatever it would become, even though they were still kids who didn't know what was happening in their hearts._

 _ **Coup de foudre**_ _. Lightning strike – love at first sight._

 _After that, he had brought her home, as awkwardly as it had been to invite a girl over for the first time in the house. They had been both completely soaked and, blushing through it all, he had handed her some clothes to stay warm and they remembered kneeling in front of each other in his bedroom. Tetsurou had leaned forward, eyes tightly closed and occasionally opening one eye to check on Akane. She had kept her eyes closed, cheeks burning as she waited for the kiss that had just ended up being an awkward forehead bump that had embarrassed Tetsurou so much he had turned around, hiding his face in his knees and never trying again._

"We came a long way…" Akane said, smiling at the fond memory, "Have all of your first tries always been failures?" She asked in amusement.

" _Oi_ …" He mumbled, flushing in embarrassment.

She pushed herself off the wall and joined him, in the middle of his bedroom, the exact same place as so many years ago, except that they were standing in front of each other. Tetsurou looked down at Akane who was smiling, her eyes sparkling beautifully. His hand came up, gently caressing her cheek. Her smile got wider and she tilted her head up, closing her eyes. Tetsurou leaned down, brushing her cheeks before pressing his forehead against hers. A gentle bump, reminder of so many years ago, that got them both to chuckle, their eyes sparkling. She went on her tiptoes, about to kiss him when the door opened completely and they startled, jumping away from each other.

" _Mom!"_ Tetsurou exclaimed, blushing to have been caught almost kissing by his mother.

"Sorry!" She answered, grimacing guiltily, "I wasn't expecting you to be… busy."

"We…! We weren't making out or anything!" Tetsurou exclaimed, mortified from embarrassment.

"Yet," Akane added.

He turned towards her and she couldn't help but smile in amusement at his reaction. Miki smiled as well, reassured to see him more like himself…

"Um, I'm sorry to bother you but… someone is here to visit you, Tetsurou," Miki announced.

He looked back at her curiously and saw Kenma awkwardly stepping from behind her. He didn't dare look in his friend's eyes after finding out what was happening in his bedroom with his girlfriend.

"Kenma! Oh! I'm so glad you're here! If you knew how great it is to see you!" Kuroo exclaimed, almost falling on his knees in thankfulness.

Miki discreetly left as Kenma entered the bedroom, glancing at Akane.

"Hi, Kenma," she saluted with a little smile.

"Hi, Akane, how you're doing?" He asked, while Kuroo froze, glancing between the two.

"Happier than ever. What about you?"

"Fine…"

"Oi."

They turned towards Kuroo who watched them with wide eyes:

"You know each other?" He asked.

"…We've been in the same school for years… and in the same neighbourhood our whole lives?" Akane answered hesitantly, not understanding why it seemed surprising for him.

"No, I mean! You call each other by your first-names! You… you seem to know each other very well! What do I not know?!" He exclaimed, feeling like everything he had assumed he knew was wrong.

Akane glanced away in embarrassment, which made his heart miss a beat in panic, while Kenma shrugged:

"We ended up talking a few times. Partly because I knew you were in love with each other and it was annoying me that you would be so dumb." Kenma explained calmly.

"…Why am I not surprised you knew…"

"Everyone knew, Kuroo."

"… _Everyone?"_ He asked in a low voice.

"Even Lev had understood."

Akane glanced in confusion at Tetsurou who realized just how obvious they had been if _Haiba Lev_ had been capable of understanding that they had a thing for each other…

"I saw you coming by and… I don't suppose it went that well? Learning about your mom and Oshiro-sensei?" Kenma asked.

Tetsurou opened his mouth to answer before freezing and staring at him suspiciously:

"…You _knew?"_ He realized, eyes widening in shock.

Kenma seemed embarrassed, glancing away and going from one foot to another. Then, he finally looked back at his childhood friend:

"…Sorry for not telling you… your mom asked me to…"

"How _long?!"_ He hissed.

"Not long, just a few weeks ago… I saw them together while I was going out for morning practice… it was… _weird_."

Tetsurou opened his lips, abut to shout before realizing that it would be useless… He covered his face with his hands. Akane and Kenma glanced at each other and she decided to leave them alone for a moment. Kenma slowly approached Tetsurou, patting his shoulder.

"Hey… it's not that bad… it could be a worse guy… He's probably the best person she's dated so far…"

"I-I know but… but I can't help but wonder if he didn't treat me the way he did because he wanted to get with my mom… I can't help but wonder if she didn't do all that just for my sake…! I hate having doubts like that! Everything I thought I knew about Oshiro-sensei… I just don't know anymore… What am I supposed to do, Kenma?" He whined, grabbing his hair.

"…Well… I suppose that if you give him the cold shoulder and keep glaring at him until he runs away like all her ex-boyfriends, it'll work out." Kenma said.

" _Kenma!"_

"Sorry," he said, his lips lightly tilted up, "It can't be easy for you but… you'll figure it out. Whether the way they acted was for you, or for their own sake… I… don't think your mom would do anything for your grades, and I think Oshiro-sensei has enough sense to not make any choice that would be wrong for you, your mom or his career. If it had been known that he had something going on with one of his _students' mother_ , I don't think he would have stayed much longer at Nekoma…"

Tetsurou glanced curiously at Kenma as he continued calmly:

"He took a lot of risks to be with your mom so… it must be real, don't you think?"

"…M-maybe…"

"And we both know your mom cares too much about you to hurt you and she never wanted that. You're just shocked and angry, but you're not _that_ hurt, are you?"

"I… yeah… I suppose…" He mumbled.

Kenma smiled lightly, and Tetsurou sighed, reassured to have his best friend by his side, and a little of familiarity in this overwhelming day.

Behind the door, Akane smiled after hearing all that. She had had a good idea sending a message to Kenma to bring him to Kuroo. She might be Tetsurou's girlfriend and understand him well, but Kenma knew the right thing to say no matter what. And Tetsurou had needed his childhood friend.

Reassured, she walked downstairs and was surprised to find Miki and Oshiro-sensei there, apparently both waiting for any of the younglings to come downstairs. Embarrassed, she was about to turn around and go back to the first floor, when Miki noticed her:

"Ah, Akane-chan!"

Grimacing discreetly, Akane slowly turned around, approaching the couple.

"With all this, we didn't get to be properly introduced to each other, I'm so sorry for this mess… I'm Kuroo Miki!" She said, bowing lightly.

"S-Saito Akane," she answered.

"I know, I heard so much about you… for so long. I'm very happy you and Tetsurou finally understood your feelings and decided to be together." She continued with a warm smile.

Akane couldn't help but stare at her, finding some resemblance _and_ differences with Tetsurou. The same black hair, that seemed a little less messy for Miki maybe. Her eyes were brown, unlike the gold she loved so much. She had wrinkles around her eyes, from laughter probably but it was obvious she had gone through a lot already. Akane hadn't known her for long but she could tell that she was a good mother, despite the little accident involving revealing she was dating their ex-teacher.

"Tetsurou didn't tell me much, and I know that a lot happened between you two, that it was very confusing… but know that you are welcome here anytime. Okay?" Miki continued, leaning forward to hug her.

Akane's heart missed a beat, touched by the motherly embrace. It had been so long since she had been hugged by a motherly figure that she had almost forgotten– she _had_ forgotten how it felt…

"T-thank you…" She answered, voice cracking.

Tetsurou arrived just then and felt a mix of joy, embarrassment and awkwardness. Then his eyes met Oshiro-sensei's and he turned around to go back in his bedroom but Kenma, who was standing right behind him, betrayed him by stopping him and pushing him down the couple of last stairs. Of course, it was all done in total discretion. Which was why Akane and Miki turned around, seeing Kenma looking down at Tetsurou half-standing and half-crawled over the stairs. He stood up abruptly and turned around to face them, as if he had meant it all along.

"We've got um… places to go, right?" He said after an awkward cough.

"I'll put your bags in the car," Oshiro-sensei said.

His two former students tried to protest but he didn't give them enough time, picking up the two bags and going away.

"Thank you for passing by, Kenma. You'll have to come the next time Tetsurou comes by." Miki said, hugging the high-schooler.

"If he ever comes back again," he answered, "Between PTSD and spending all of his time with Akane, he might not come by."

"Oi," Kuroo said, frowning.

Miki smiled, a little awkwardly at the mention of "PTSD" but she ruffled his hair and Kenma left.

"We'll talk in the car. I can't wait to hear everything about you two," Miki said with a smile.

Akane glanced up at Tetsurou who lowered his head. They joined Oshiro-sensei in the car and it took a good five, long minutes before Miki spoke up to break the tense silence:

"So… how long have you two been dating exactly?"

"Um… it's complicated…" Akane answered when Tetsurou remained silent, staring at the landscape going by to ignore them.

"So I understood, but you can tell me everything. I'm curious!"

 _Bad idea_ … Akane thought to herself, sending a glance for help to her boyfriend.

"I don't think you want to know all the details, though," She finally answered.

"Don't worry, I know how my son is like!"

She laughed, and it finally got some reaction from Tetsurou who turned lightly.

"I'm pretty sure she was referring to bed activities, dear," Oshiro-sensei intervened, "And there is absolutely no need for us to know these details in particular. Right, Kuroo-kun?"

He sent a glance at the boy from the rear mirror. Tetsurou grumbled, ears turning red and trying to turn away even more.

"Right, you had caught him having sex in the halls once. You had told me about it." Miki said.

Akane almost strangled herself after screaming and laughing in the same time.

"You WHAT! _How_ could you get caught?! You're disappointing me, Tetsurou! And here I thought you were using the volleyball club's changing-room or the gymnasium!"

"I couldn't do that! I was the captain!"

" _That's_ why you should have used these places to your advantage!"

"What if coach or one of my teammates had arrived?! And it's so dusty! Where did you have sex at school anyway?! Don't tell me the toilets."

"Don't be _ridiculous_. In the empty classrooms or behind the old gymnasium that was being renoved. Or inside it."

"You are _such a–"_

"I'm sorry, did I hear empty classrooms?" Oshiro-sensei intervened but the young couple was too busy arguing on what place was the best to have sex incognito, "You _do_ know it's forbidden to have sexual intercourse on the high-school grounds?" He continued, raising his voice a little.

They glanced at him, unimpressed by his teacher tone.

"And?" They both asked.

Miki chuckled while he frowned, feeling he should have known about it all along.

"You took it upon yourself to do everything that was forbidden at school anyway," Tetsurou said.

"Oh? Is that admiration I hear in your voice?" She asked, smirking.

"Pfff! I had a reputation to hold! I wasn't interested in ruining my high-school life!"

"A reputation of total nerd," she answered, looking away.

" _Excuse me?"_

"What _other_ forbidden things have you done?" Oshiro asked again, frowning more and more.

"Nothing I was caught for. Unlike _this nerd_ who got caught having sex in the halls." Akane answered.

"Listen–"

"Gods, you two are so lucky you're not at Nekoma anymore…" Oshiro sighed.

"Let's stop talking about it, shall we? Before it gets too suggestive. We have a long road before reaching Kyoto." Miki said, and if Oshiro's teacher voice didn't work, the mother voice _did_ work.

" _You_ get quite suggestive too at times," He commented in a low voice.

" _Honey!"_

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Tetsurou muttered, looking away.

Akane smiled, amused, and patted his thigh for comfort. Miki noticed this gesture, smiling teasingly and Akane immediately drew away and looked by the window. The tense atmosphere came back despite Miki's best efforts in starting a conversation but the two teenagers were giving as monosyllabic answers as possible.

"I heard you were selected for the Junior team! It's great! Congratulations!" Oshiro exclaimed at some point.

"Yes."

Akane glanced at Tetsurou as the silence got longer… Miki looked behind her as well, worried. She knew better than anyone how passionate he was about volleyball, how proud he was to be on the National team… For him to withdraw on himself when the topic of volleyball was up, it meant he really wasn't feeling okay.

"…Nekomata-sensei was very proud. He didn't stop talking about it to all the teachers." Oshiro added, observing the boy's reaction in the rear window.

"Thanks."

Miki turned towards Ken, shaking lightly her head, lips tight.

"…Can I put on some music?"

"For the love of the gods, please do…" Akane whispered.

"What did you say, Saito-san?"

"Please, go ahead, sensei." She added, louder.

He looked suspicious, especially when Tetsurou glanced at Akane, his lips turning up very quickly. But he put on the music to fill the silence of the car.

For the rest of the way, no one said a thing. Tetsurou discreetly glanced up at his mother, who was leaning her chin on the palm of her hand, like she always did when she was tired and too many bad things were happening in the same time. She looked disappointed and he knew it was because of his reaction… Sighing, he looked back at his teacher and decided that… for his mom's sake… he'll try to understand what they had.

Akane observed him, and smiled when she saw his resolution. She took her phone and sent him a message. He read it, surprised she was the one to message him, then glanced at her, smiling.

 **Your hair looks nice today.**

It was one little compliment, in a stupid message when they were just a meter apart. But it was enough to help him feel cheered up and reassured. He wanted to reach out for her hand but with the two adults in front of them, he didn't dare.

 **Your hands look soft today** , he answered.

She smiled upon reading his words, understanding the real message behind it.

 **I'll take good care of you later, to cheer you up~**

 **I'm looking forward to it~**

They glanced at each other, amused by their silly messages and adrenaline pumping in their veins by doing such a thing with his mother and their former sensei just a meter away. They loved living dangerously after all, or they wouldn't be together.

After a particularly long way to Kyoto, because of the atmosphere in the car, they finally arrived in the historical capital of Japan. Tetsurou and Miki had been there before but Akane was leaving Tokyo for the first time and she was definitely excited, even if she tried to hide it. She was sparkling curiously, watching everything with wide eyes. Tetsurou didn't realize he was staring at her with a fond smile on his face until Miki turned around to talk to them:

"We have dinner with Masuyo tonight, but until then, you're free to wander anywhere you want. Just be on time at the hotel." She said.

"Really? We're free?" Tetsurou asked, straightening up in his seat, Akane turning towards him expectantly.

"Yes, I trust you two."

They arrived at the hotel where they'd reside for the next few days, with a few more of Tetsurou's relatives staying there considering it was close to the town hall where his cousin would get married. He took his and Akane's bag, climbing up the stairs to the room they would stay in and sighing in relief to be away from his mom's new boyfriend. Akane was following him close behind and squealed when she saw the big king-sized bed. She ran to it and jumped on top of it, laughing and spreading her arms and legs as far away as she could.

"A real bed! A real, big bed! It's the first time I'll sleep in such a bed for real!" She exclaimed.

He smiled, glad to see her so happy despite the difficult start of the day. He joined her, sighing when he had all the room he needed to spread his long limbs.

"Damn, you're right… it feels good…" He murmured, closing his eyes.

"If we _ever_ move in together, let's have a huge bed like that, okay?" She said, turning around and climbing over him.

"I'm not going to disagree with you on that one," he answered with a smirk, letting his hands rest on her thighs.

She smiled widely before leaning down to kiss him deeply, her hands going on her thighs to entwine their fingers together. She laughed into the kiss when he nibbed gently at her lower lip.

"Imagine all the things we could do in this bed…" He whispered, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh _yes_ …" She answered in a sensual voice.

He reached up to kiss her again, more passionately and to put to execution all the sinful ideas they were currently having, but then she swiftly kissed his cheek and stood up.

"Let's go visit Kyoto! I want to see as much as possible for now! Come on, hurry up, lazy cat! We're not going to lay around all day!" She exclaimed, grabbing her bag and getting ready to leave.

He kissed the air, before sitting up.

"Okay, I guess… If the Queen desires so."

They went in town, eating lunch quickly because Akane was impatient to start visiting. They went to the Sento Imperial Palace, walking hand in hand through its beautiful garden. Tetsurou didn't remember seeing such a bright smile on Akane's face, staying for such a long time. She didn't know that holding hand could feel so good. They were just starting to realize how warm their hearts felt when they were near each other.

"You're relaxing at last?" She asked on their way back, eating some local snacks and walking as slowly as physically possible.

"Was I really _that_ tense?" He replied, looking up.

She turned around to walk backwards, still holding hands but smiling in amusement.

"I've rarely seen you so tense for so long," she answered.

He growled, looking away. She stopped, squeezing his hands to attract his attention on her:

"Hey… is it really so bad Oshiro-sensei is with your mom? He's a nice guy, and rather good-looking for his age. From what you told me, you dislike all the men who used her and left her broken-hearted but I don't think he's that type of person."

"I… I don't think so too… I'm just pissed they weren't honest about it before. They've been seeing each other for a while but they never told me anything."

"And if they had, how would you have felt?" She asked, lips thin, "You were still in high-school, with Oshiro as your teacher. You had so many things to focus on – your graduation, your university entrance exams, the Spring-High, joining the National team, moving out…"

He sighed but now that he was calm, he understood why his mom had decided to keep silent for so long. Understanding he was reaching the same conclusion as her, Akane smiled and went on her tiptoes, kissing his jaw.

"They only had your interest in mind. Though they _could_ have told you about it before your cousin's wedding."

"Mmm…"

They continued walking but he slowed down, checking the time.

"Hey, we still have some time before joining my cousin, is there something you want to see? Or do?" He asked.

"Most of the places I want to see will be closed by the time we get there… but I can think of a few things we could do~" She answered, sending him a fiery glance.

Suddenly on fire, Tetsurou perked up, his fingers tightening around hers.

"Ah yeah?"

"I hope you're not shy in public…"

He was left breathless when she pulled him to whatever place she had thought about.

"I love you…" He whispered, a foolish smile on his face as he realised he'd follow her to the end of the world.

Later, of course, they arrived a little late at his cousin's dinner. Not enough to be noticed, but enough for Miki to have been worried that they might not come at all because of everything that had happened.

"How come you're late?" She asked, nervously arranging her son's shirt that was, in her opinion, a lot more wrinkled than what was socially acceptable.

"We got… sidetracked," he answered, trying to arrange his clothes without his mom doting over him like a child – especially with Akane laughing about it in his back.

Miki was about to answer when she noticed the hickey on his neck. He flushed and looked away as she sighed, stepping away and lifting up her hands.

"All right. I'm not judging, just be sure not to look like a complete mess."

"Of course you're not judging, you're the greatest mom in the universe," he said.

"I'm not judging because despite what you might think, I was young and in love once. That's how I ended up with you, by the way."

Akane stopped laughing, and it was Tetsurou's turn to smirk down at her, though he was just as embarrassed and didn't want to consider _that_ possibility happening anytime soon.

"You had fun?" Oshiro asked before correcting himself, "I mean… visiting the city. If you visited anything instead of…"

Realizing he was just as awkward as the rest of them, Tetsurou just rolled his eyes while Miki shook her head lightly. Thankfully, the young couple didn't have to answer because laughter got closer to them:

"Aunt Miki! Tetsurou!"

"Masuyo! How beautiful you are!" Miki exclaimed, taking her niece in her arms.

"I cannot believe that you're here! I'm so happy!" She exclaimed before turning towards her cousin, looking him up and down, " _Kuroo Tetsurou!_ What happened to you, kiddo?! The last time I saw you, you were reaching my shoulders! Now you're taller than the trees in my garden! And you're larger than a table!"

"Eh eh… growth spurt in high-school," he answered sheepishly.

"And you have brought your _girlfriend!_ You must be Saito Akane! I heard _so much_ about you!" Masuyo continued, turning towards the young girl while Tetsurou froze – he hadn't expected that one, "Miki told me _everything!_ How you two fell in love in middle-school and you're only dating now~! It's so romantic!"

Akane and Tetsurou, red and embarrassed, glanced at each other.

"Please, make yourselves comfortable. I have to see a few more people, but we'll catch up later, okay?" She said, pulling at Tetsurou's cheek.

" _Away!_ Evil cousin!" He exclaimed, patting her hand away.

She laughed and rummaged her hand through his hair to make it messier. Then, she joined some of her friends.

"I like her, she's fun! And she knows how to mess with you!" Akane said, surrounding her boyfriend's arm.

"Of course you like her, you'll tag along with her to torture me…" He mumbled.

"You know me so well, _kiddo~!"_ She said, using the same nickname Masuyo had used earlier while reaching for his cheek, pulling at it.

He growled but instead of tapping her hand away like for his cousin, he grabbed it and suddenly pulled her against him. He surrounded her body with his arms, making sure to keep her from reaching anything above his shoulders.

"I'll get you back for that one," he murmured into her ear.

She laughed into his chest as he turned towards Miki.

"Mom! Who exactly did you tell about Akane?"

"I only told Masuyo," she replied innocently.

Just then, Masuyo was passing by and leaned towards her giant cousin:

"And I told Tomiko."

Tetsurou's smile faded as Miki and Masuyo laughed. Akane looked up curiously just as someone hit Tetsurou in the back, almost making them fall over and a cheerful laugh resonated.

"And I told everyone!"

" _Tomiko!"_ Tetsurou exclaimed, letting go of Akane to try to grab Masuyo's younger sister – and the most chatty person to have ever existed on Earth (she met Bokuto once, and Bokuto had ended up trying to _run away_ ).

"Nee-san is right! You _are_ as tall as a tree!" Tomiko exclaimed, starting to climb over him until she was hanging from his shoulders, to his great annoyance because he was half-strangled, "Oh! Your girlfriend is so pretty! Why is she with _you?_ How long have you been together? Is she staying? Is she knocked up? You're playing volleyball too? Tetsurou, do you need glasses too? Do you–"

"I'm already _tired_ of you!" He exclaimed, managing to somehow grab her and as she laughed, he pulled her over his shoulders and dropped her in front of him, only to blink, "You grew up too! What the fuck, munchkin?"

"I haven't grown up as much as Taichi and Tomomi! And I'm an adult now!"

"You're _fifteen_ , you're not an adult!"

"Is your friend still available? The funny looking one? With the _super_ drool-worthy muscles?"

" _What?_ You're not nearly old enough to think about boys!"

"You're not nearly old enough to have your girlfriend knocked up!"

" _She's not–"_

Then, two more screaming missiles arrived, surrounding his legs so suddenly he almost fell down. He gasped when he saw his two other cousins.

"Taichi! Tomomi! What sort of fertilizer your parents _used?_ The last time I saw you, _you_ were tall as three apples, and _you_ were a muffin in a blanket!" He exclaimed, pointing at the two.

They both laughed, one reaching his waist and the other wrapped around his leg – the last time she had been a tiny baby and _now!_

"Fuck, I'm getting old…" He muttered, looking up in despair.

"You've got a long way to go boy, if you feel old already," Oshiro muttered.

"Well, then, we'll leave you to deal with the young ones, right, Tetsurou?" Miki said, taking Oshiro's hand and dragging him away.

" _Wait_ – no! Don't leave me alone with the monsters!" He exclaimed, looking panicked.

"You have Akane with you! You'll be fine! Be nice to your cousin, kids!" She answered, walking away.

Akane chuckled but just as he turned to her for help, Masuyo appeared out of nowhere once again and draped her arm around hers.

"I will be taking care of your girlfriend~! We have a lot to talk about! So, good luck with the kids! You need the practice!" She exclaimed with a teasing wink, already pulling Akane in the other way.

"Don't tell _me_ that! You're the one about to start a family!"

"I had to deal with you long enough when you were small!" She answered, sticking her tongue out at him.

Tetsurou was definitely considering using Taichi as a missile to throw her way but Akane couldn't help and laugh, no matter how nervous she was to be alone with his family.

Masuyo guided her to a group of young women, some being part of the family, others being Masuyo's friends and maids. Akane felt awkward at first, but the girls all talked to her, joked about Tetsurou _finally_ having a girlfriend, and she finally relaxed, despite the teasing. Perhaps that Akane was starting to open up to people more, after Tetsurou and their group of friends, but she was surprised and pleased by her social skills.

"They're very much in love with each other," Miki remarked from afar, turning towards Ken.

"I told you so," he replied with a nod, thinking back on all the years at Nekoma when the two had been so _obviously_ pining for each other.

 _A year or so ago, Nekoma high-school…_

" _And that's why_ The Makioka Sisters _from Tanizaki Junichirou is regarded by many as the best modern Japanese novel. Before his visit to Japan in the 1970s, the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre said he read the book because 'it offers a thorough understanding of the country'."_

 _In the middle of his explanations, going through the ranks of sitting, yawning students, Oshiro-sensei remarked that Kuroo-kun wasn't paying any attention to what he was saying, nor to the book he was supposed to look at. His gaze was fixated on Saito Akane, a few seats away._

 _Passing next to him, Oshiro-sensei lightly bumped the back of Kuroo-kun's head with his book, making him gasp in surprise. The class woke up, turning around and chuckling upon seeing the Captain of the volleyball team being scolded for lack of attention._

" _Kuroo-kun, I'm pretty sure that at this point, you have a_ _ **thorough understanding**_ _of girls, now pay more attention to Tanizaki's influence in the modern Japanese literature."_

 _Kuroo mumbled an apology, turning red and hiding his head in his forearms while his classmates laughed._

" _Tanizaki was influenced by Poe and Baudelaire–"_

"He was pining so hard…" Ken sighed after thinking back on this memory.

"I know, he was constantly talking about her, but… I couldn't help but worry… Tetsurou had been so broken-hearted after Kohaku-chan, I had no idea what to do… He had completely closed off, from me and most of his friends. I didn't think I'd see him smile like that so soon, but I'm glad that Akane-chan can make him happy." She said with a relieved smile.

"It goes both ways. It's reassuring to see Akane smile at all," Ken added, glancing at the young girl who was laughing with one of Masuyo's maids.

Miki glanced at him as he sighed and spoke up again:

"Back in Nekoma, all the teachers could tell she was brilliant, but she absolutely refused to be social with her classmates. It was worrying, especially considering how delicate her situation at home was. We kept a close-eye on her, but I fear it wasn't enough…"

"You didn't fail, not you nor your colleagues. You did everything you could to help the kids back then. You still do." She said reassuringly, before glancing at her son who was being overwhelmed by his three younger cousins, "Do you think he knows about her family?"

"They're dating, so I suppose he does. And I don't know all the details either…" He answered with a shrug.

Miki stared at her son, wanting to talk with him and Akane, but after he had just discovered the truth about her boyfriend, she didn't want to overwhelm him.

Once everyone had arrived, Masuyo and her soon-to-be-husband asked everyone to go to the garden for dinner. Being a hot summer, they had decided to have a fresh buffet accompanied with _nagashi-somen_ for the guests. They were in a big, elegant garden, some waiters walking around to give the guests food or drinks.

"I haven't had _nagashi-somen_ in ages!" Tetsurou exclaimed excitedly, grabbing two bowls and forcing one in Akane's hands, his way of saying _'let's go get some RIGHT NOW!'_

"Me too, but I always fail to catch these tricky little ass–"

Her voice trailed off when she noticed one of the young cousins looking up at the two of them. The little girl was Tomomi, if she wasn't wrong. Tetsurou smirked when he remarked this reaction, waiting for her to try to save it.

"Ass… as… _Astatine!"_ Akane exclaimed suddenly, Tomomi tilting her head on a side while Tetsurou snorted, "The radioactive element, its symbol is At and its atomic number 85. Don't you know that?" She asked.

Tomomi, innocent and cute, shook her head no, looking a little guilty _not_ to know that. Meanwhile Tetsurou bent over, laughing his ugly laugh that Akane laughed so much.

"You _nerd!"_ He exclaimed after Tomomi had run off to ask her mother what Astatine was.

"Shut up!" She exclaimed, tempted to stab him with her chopsticks.

"Come on, Astatine, let's eat! I'm hungry!" He exclaimed, turning towards the opened bamboo where the somen had started being put.

He clicked his chopsticks together, smirking, as if challenging the noodles to make it particularly hard for him to catch. The waiter at the other side had started to leave a few bunch of noodles to slide down the bamboo and, agile and quick as a cat, Tetsurou caught the somen in his chopsticks. He lifted it up, laughing proudly before diving them in the _tsuyu_ and eat it.

"Mmm~! It's so good and refreshing!" He exclaimed.

He turned towards Akane to see how she was going, she was determined to get some noodles, constantly attacking the flume of bamboo. But except stabbing the wood with her chopsticks, she kept missing the noodles. Every once in a while, she'd get it but they'd escape her chopsticks.

He snorted at the consecutive misses until she turned and glared at him.

"Oi. Help me out instead of laughing like an idiot." She mumbled.

"Please! Keep going, you're doing a wonderful job! _At poking the bamboo!"_ He exclaimed, pointing at her with his chopsticks.

"Tch."

She tried a few more times to get noodles, but with Tetsurou constantly snorting in her back, being close enough for her to feel his warm breath against the back of her neck, she was even more distracted.

Tomomi came back running, miraculously not dropping a single drop of _tsuyu_ sauce on her way to Tetsurou. She pulled at his pants, attracting his and Akane's attention once again. She lifted up her bowl of _tsuyu_ and her chopsticks, making a sad kitten face.

"Hewp, pwease, Teturou!" She asked, clicking her chopsticks like he had done, a little more clumsily.

"You can't reach? Here," he said, standing up and effectively getting some noodles that he immediately put into her _tsuyu_ bowl.

Akane stared at him in complete betrayal, not believing the fact that not only he had gotten noodles for her but was _also_ helping her out eating it.

"Easy there, or you'll choke," he said, dipping the noodles in the _tsuyu_ while Tomomi was determined to get it in her mouth as soon as possible.

She bit into the air as he waved it around teasingly, making sure she wouldn't have too much in her mouth. He carefully made sure she was eating properly, occasionally crying out to Tomomi to not swallow too fast.

Akane's annoyance quickly erased as she stared at him, bending down to his little cousin and helping her out with eating her noodles, and wiping her mouth while panicking because she had gotten _tsuyu_ on her dress and he was willing to bet her mom wouldn't be happy about it. A soft smile appeared on her smile, her heart pulling warmly. He was so good and cute with kids… Feeling a sharp sting in her heart, she distracted herself from the sudden sadness by trying once again to get some noodles, even though she had lost her appetite.

She almost got it this time but it flowed away and she sighed angrily, glaring at the noodles.

"Here, you're doing it wrong," Tetsurou said after glancing at her, "You're so pitiful, it's making me sad."

" _Oi…"_

"Leave the tip of the chopsticks in the running water and when the noodles arrive…" He showed the gesture just as noodles arrived between his chopsticks, "GRAB THEM!"

He victoriously lifted up the noodles before dipping it into his _tsuyu_ and showing it to Akane. She leaned forward to eat it but at the last moment, he put it into his mouth, eating it with loud appreciating sounds.

Akane gritted her teeth in annoyance then turned back towards the bamboo, applying his advices. She waited for noodles to arrive and this time, she managed to hold them, lifting them up with a wide smile.

"I did it! Look! I got them!" She exclaimed.

She waited a little too long with the noodles in the air and they slid off the chopsticks and landed on the grass at her feet. She glared at them while Tetsurou snorted.

"Almost there~!" He hummed.

He caught some more noodles and she was certain he'd eat it once again but after dipping them in the _tsuyu_ sauce, he approached the chopsticks and noodles to her. He was smirking, which made her hesitate because that usually meant he was about to pull some nasty trick. But he waited patiently, even when the noodles threatened to slide off the chopsticks and despite her suspicious gaze. Finally, she leaned forward and got it into her mouth, the taste invading her mouth and the texture of the noodles melting under her tongue. She smiled as she munched and swallowed the noodles, using her chopsticks to keep it from getting messy.

Tetsurou couldn't help but smile softly, seeing her so peaceful and happy.

"Hey," he called, making her look up at him, "I really like you."

She blushed, which made him blush as well, but then she smiled, eyes sparkling.

"I really like you too." She answered, turning towards the bamboo to try once again to get the noodles – he was almost chuckling, happy feelings bubbling in his chest, "Even though you're a pain in the ass."

"Don't you mean a pain in the _Asstatine~?"_

She was about to answer to him, when a shocked gasp attracted their attention back to Tomomi who was staring up at them with wide eyes, mouth still full of noodles.

"Astata is ass…" She whispered as the couple of Chemical nerds glanced at each other awkwardly – how will they explain that to her parents?

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter! More about the wedding, especially cheesy (and sexy) scenes, will come! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	21. Perfect

_Here is the new chapter! Sorry for being late! If you haven't seen it yet, I posted the story with all the birthdays' one-shots, and there's the one for Oiakwa! ;D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **PLAYLIST'S SONG: "Perfect" from Ed Sheeran** (the main scene at the end of the chapter was inspired to me when I first listened to that song~)_

 _ **booklover2098** : I'm glad you liked it, I hope you'll like this one as well! ;D_

 _ **Guest** : Kuroo is one fo the few characters that I headcanon as bisexual, with Tendou. I also added Mattsun to my list, but I haven't put much thoughts for other characters who might be bisexual. ;) _

_**Trainer Azurite** : Ahah! You couldn't say it better! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XXI : Perfect

"… _And we are in bed together laughing and we don't care about anything."_

— **Charles Bukowski**

" _I want to be the first thing you touch in the morning and the last thing you taste at night."_

— **Sade Andria Zabala**

" _You're something between a dream and a miracle."_

— **Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Love Letters**

"… _You never knew exactly how much space you occupied in people's lives."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is the Night**

" _I can't read lips unless they're touching mine."_

— **Jon Troast**

" _There is no shame in being hungry for another person. There is no shame in wanting very much to share your life with somebody."_

— **Augusten Burroughs**

" _The feel of her head against his shoulder, of her familiar body, sent a shock of emotion over him. His arms holding her had a tendency to tighten around her."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Sensible Thing"**

" _Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?"_

— **Oscar Hammerstein II**

" _The opposite of loneliness, it's not togetherness. It is intimacy."_

— **Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever: A Lovestory**

" _I love you. I worry about you. I wonder whether I tell you enough how I love you and want you and need you and how I am diminished… when you are not with me and how I am multiplied when you are here."_

— **Pat Frank, Alas, Babylon**

" _Making love was never about you and me in a bed. We made love whenever we held hands."_

— **Iain Thomas**

" _Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still."_

— **Robert Sternberg**

" _We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."_

― **Sam Keen, To Love and Be Loved**

" _He knew that I love you also means I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else."_

— **Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated**

Akane stirred awake when she heard someone enter the hotel bedroom, go into the bathroom and move around. She should have probably worried but she didn't even have to open her eyes to know who it was. The sound of these shoes, the rhythm of these steps, the light breathing from post-running – that was Tetsurou. _Of course_ he'd go running on the morning of his cousin's wedding. Her suspicion was confirmed when she opened one eye and, in the mid-darkness of the room, she saw a bunch of weird hair. No doubt, that was her boyfriend. And a minute later, she heard the shower running. Now awake, but too lazy to move from the bed, she rolled around a little, waiting for Tetsurou to be back.

She was falling back into slumber when he exited the bathroom.

"Why did you leave me in this huge bed alone and cold?" She mumbled, eyes still closed as he approached the bed to grab whatever he needed.

Tetsurou startled, not having expected her to be awake. He turned towards Akane as she rolled around, pulling the sheets to cover herself, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"I went running, and I didn't want to wake you," he said apologetically.

She stared at him from head to toe, he only had a towel around his waist, his hair was still wet and it was insulting he was even _thinking_ of gathering his clothes to get dressed.

"What are you doing?" She asked, which sounded more like an annoyed grumble.

"I'm going to get us breakfast. You stay here and enjoy the king-sized bed, will you?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'd say we enjoyed it plenty last night…"

He dropped on the bed, making her jump a little from his sudden weight. He was wearing only his pants and it was hard for Akane to resist caressing his muscular shoulders and chest. Then she realised that, as legitimate girlfriend, she had all the rights in the world to touch him as much as she wanted. In fact, she was the only one allowed to – it should be considered a duty to not let these beautiful muscles being left untouched for too long.

So she put her hands on his shoulders, pulling him downwards until their lips met clumsily. The kiss, sloppy from morning laziness, quickly became passionate until Tetsurou pulled away forcefully.

"What is it? I have morning breath or something?" She mumbled, frowning lightly.

He opened his lips to answer but his stomach grumbled. He froze before smirking sheepishly.

"Other needs are calling." He said.

"Just go eat, you stomach on legs," she said, lightly pushing him away before rolling on her side.

It almost looked like she was sulking – she _was_ , just a little, just to make him want to stay behind anyway and comfort her, but he kissed her bare shoulder.

"I'll be back soon, and we'll carry on, gorgeous."

She couldn't help the smile that stretched on her lips at the nickname he had started calling her. She loved it. No one had ever called her that – and if they did, it wasn't with nearly that much reverence in their voice, it wasn't with their gaze diving into hers…

A few minutes, Tetsurou came back, with a huge trail that seemed impossible to carry. Akane, now wearing one of his shirt, tried to help him when she saw him struggle into the bedroom but he was already in and pushing the door close with his feet. He put the trail in the middle of the bed, dropping at the other side and plucking a grape. He lifted up his hand, mouth wide open while lowering the grape to his lips.

"Mmm~! This bed truly is luxurious~! Nothing beats being able to lie down in your full length and eat like a Greek god~!" He hummed as Akane sat to the other side of the trail of food, careful not to make anything drop.

"Breakfast in bed, am I not lucky to have such a perfect boyfriend?" She said, reaching for some cut fruits that looked particularly tasty.

Tetsurou pulled the trail away from her hands, looking at her with a deadly serious expression on his face:

"I _know_ I am– but go get your own trail of food." He said, putting an arm around the trail of food protectively.

"You are an absolute asshole," she said without blinking an eye.

" _Ouch_ … is this how you treat your _perfect_ boyfriend?" He asked, looking offended.

She grabbed the nearest pillow that she threw into his face. Tetsurou dropped on his back, laughing and pushing away the pillow. Akane pouted and pulled the trail of food towards her, making sure it was out of reach of Tetsurou's long arms.

They were still bantering like they had done for the last few years, but there was no ill-intent, only mischief and love. Their own form of love and care.

"Do you feel better?" Akane asked after a few minutes of silent eating – sharing the trail this time.

"Mmm?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and pretending to not understand what she was asking.

"Even though you felt better by the end of the day, I could tell you were still very frustrated about your paren– I mean, your mom."

"Don't start referring Oshiro-sensei as my 'parent' or I'm getting a divorce," he grumbled, frowning.

"Oh~? Are you proposing to me~? We need to be married before getting a divorce." She teased.

She hadn't expected the blush that appeared on his face, and her own cheeks suddenly warmed up at the sort-of faraway idea of getting married. And divorcing, which was a less enchanting perspective.

"Was I _that_ obvious?" He mumbled instead of answering – the lovely moment of dreams blooming between them was gone, for now…

"Other than the constant glances, glares and grumbling all day long… _yeah_ , you were pretty obvious. You let it out last night, which I didn't mind at all, it almost makes me wish for your mom to get _more_ of our previous teachers as boyfriends–" She stopped, smirking in an amused way when she saw the not-at-all-amused expression on his face, "But when you left this morning, you went running for a long time… So… do _you_ feel better now?"

He absentmindedly played with the grape stem, now empty of any grape. He kept his head low as he pondered the question then he looked up.

"I do, actually… I think… they genuinely like each other. So… as long as they're happy… I'm… urgh, I'm fine with it. It's just gonna need some adjustment time."

"A _long_ adjustment time," she corrected with a smile.

"A long adjustment time." He confirmed with a nod.

She leaned down, kissing the only part of him she could reach without moving closer: the top of his head.

"I'm proud of you." She said with a smirk.

"Don't sound condescending."

" _Me?_ I would never do such a thing," she said, in a condescending tone.

He threw a lost and lonely grape at her face, making her gasp and startle in a funny way – that made him chuckle, and she couldn't help but smile as well.

Time was ticking and they started getting ready for the wedding. Because he was half-ready already, Tetsurou was finished soon and after going through all of his apps on his phone, trying all of his games, turning around like an animal in a cage, he got too bored to stay in the room any longer.

"Akane! How long are you gonna take? We're about to leave soon!" He exclaimed, loud enough for her to hear through the bathroom door.

"I'll be ready in five minutes!"

"That's what you said fifteen minutes ago! And thirty minutes ago! And fourty minutes ago!"

"I'll be _really_ ready in five minutes! If you're so impatient go on ahead!"

He rolled his eyes before taking her to the word, deciding to wait somewhere more distracting – with people to provoke perhaps.

He found some of his relatives waiting in the main hall – mostly men, waiting for the ladies to be ready. Oshiro and his mom came soon after and they decided to wait for Akane to be done.

Tetsurou had his eyes fixated on his phone, counting the minutes going by.

"It's been five minutes she told me _five minutes_. I knew she'd be…"

He looked up just then and his voice trailed off. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open, as stupidly cliché as it was…

Akane was walking down the stairs, looking absolutely stunning in her red dress that promised forbidden wonders. Her hair was different from usual – she had parted it so the shaved part of her hair was covered with some of her hair, giving her a sweet, innocent look. And the way she looked at him… _oh, the way she looked at him_ made him feel emotions he didn't even know existed, emotions for which there were no words in all the languages of the world…

"That she'd be _what?"_ Oshiro asked teasingly, smirking to see his former student so smitten.

Tetsurou opened and closed his lips to answer but he only stammered incoherent monosyllabs.

"You're going to swallow flies if you don't close your mouth," Oshiro added, still terribly amused.

"Stop teasing him," Miki said, elbowing him very lightly.

Akane reached them, still looking right into Tetsurou's bright golden eyes. Her lips as red as her dress, as red as an apple, as red as passion, stretched into a beautiful smile. Her eyes sparkled from seeing him so enchanted by the sight of hers – it had been her plan, but his reaction was still priceless. If she weren't so charmed by the stunned look on his face and his adorable blushing cheeks, she might have laughed.

"Up to your expectations, nerd cat?" She asked, tilting her head down just enough to give her even more of an innocent look – but he knew the beast that was hiding, he could see it in her eyes alit with burning passion.

He shivered from the way she made him feel – warm and at peace, hot and bothered, shivering and sweet, breathless and stupid, all of that in the same time. And he _loved_ it.

He wanted to answer but he was still being illiterate and his neurones didn't want to make any connection. He tried not to look like a gaping fish, closing his lips in a thin line and swallowing hard to bring some sense back in his body. He wanted to give some snarky remark.

"You're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen…" He whispered instead.

Akane's eyes widened by his pretty words, blushing, which made _him_ blush even more. It was _her_ turn to be stunned and breathless.

They would have kept staring at each other like fools in love if Oshiro and Miki hadn't reacted. Both gasped and chuckled, trying to smother their voices but Tetsurou felt his ears go red. He was certain he had smoke coming out of it. They were hoping the parents would stop but they couldn't hold back from seeing Kuroo Tetsurou so smitten and romantic.

"O-OI! You've been laughing long enough now!" He snapped, turning around, glaring at them in mortifying embarrassment.

"I-I'm sorry, Tetsurou…! It's just so unexpected!" Miki exclaimed, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eyes.

"Y-you…! Stop laughing! _Mom!_ What are you even still doing here you two?! We have a wedding to attend! Come on, chop chop, hurry!" He exclaimed while grabbing Akane's hand and starting to advance in long strides towards the entrance.

Akane had to almost run to keep up with the length of his steps, especially in such high-heels. She couldn't stop smiling as she finally caught up to him, surrounding his arm with hers.

"The most beautiful creature, uh?" She teased.

"Oh, shut up you!" He exclaimed, turning his head away, blushing madly.

She laughed in delight.

Oshiro finally calmed down and was about to follow them when he realised that Miki wasn't moving. She wasn't laughing anymore, she was smiling tenderly. She was wiping a tear – but this time because her baby boy had grown up so much…

"They're going to be okay, right? I can trust them to hold onto each other?" She asked in a low voice, unable to keep herself from worrying for her son's heart.

"From what I've seen since yesterday, and what I know of these two, I doubt they'll ever be apart." Ken answered with a reassuring smile.

He offered her his arm that she gladly took, putting her head on his shoulder.

"He's grown up so much… I can still see my little boy taking his first steps and bringing me flowers from the neighbour's garden… Have I ever told you that once he knew how to walk, instead of running he started jumping up and down like a kangaroo?"

"That actually explains a few of his life choices, especially professionally-wise," he answered with an amused smile, imagining without trouble a tiny Tetsurou with messy hair and jumping endlessly.

"Now _…_ now, look at him… he's a man and he's… _he's_ …"

Emotion made her voice broke as more happy tears invaded her eyes. Ken gently caressed her cheek with his free hand, attracting her attention on him:

"Hey, they're not even nineteen years old yet. They're not getting married and they're not having a kid, as far as we know. They're both mature and intelligent, they know what they're getting themselves into. And if they waited so long to be together, then they must have thought about it a lot."

"I know, I know… I'm _just_ …"

She waved her hands in front of her face to fan herself.

"How do you think they got together? Do you think he did some romantic confession in the sunset? Or perhaps she's the one who took the lead and confessed to him first?"

"I think that if they waited _so long_ to be together, then _something_ must have triggered their sudden relationship. And I'm not sure we want to know the details of that 'something'," he answered with a sheepish smile.

She looked a little confused, and Ken shook his head with an amused smile – she'll never be able to see Tetsurou as anything else but her sweet baby boy.

The family, even if it was still a little awkward between all four of them, went to the Shinto shrine where the traditional ceremony would unfold. Only the close family of the bride and groom could attend the ceremony so they only watched with the rest of the extended family on the Shinto shrine's grounds. It was very ceremonious, which kept them from getting wild, like most Western movies showed.

Tetsurou glanced quickly at Akane, curious to see her reaction. Her eyes were sparkling, enchanted to see the bride in her white and delicately decorated kimono, she didn't stop smiling the entire time the bride, groom, priest and close family passed by. Tetsurou's heart was beating warmly in his chest – he hadn't thought she'd be totally bored during the wedding, but he hadn't expected her to enjoy it so much… It wasn't so much as enjoyment, it was…

 _She wants it_ … He realized, eyes widening lightly.

He had never really thought much about wedding – it was a faraway thought he had kept for when he'll have a good, stable relationship with someone he could see himself spend the rest of his life with. But _now?_ He had Akane, and he'd be damned if he let her go and wouldn't spend the rest of his life with her. He hadn't thought she was the type of girl who was dreaming of getting married but seeing the way her eyes glowed, there was no doubt she wanted to get married someday. But… did he really want to get married? Definitely not _now_ , but in the future? They had been all sheepish when they had joked about it this morning, of course it was an embarrassing topic but, but, _but…?_

He couldn't help but let his thoughts wander. Perhaps in a few years or so, the two of them would walk down the aisle of a Shinto priest, his mom crying tears of joy… probably accompanied by Oshiro-sensei, ugh… But he'd wear a black kimono with the family crest weaved in white, like all men getting married. Akane would wear a white kimono with fine embroidment, perhaps – hopefully – her hair would be longer and she'd have an complicated and elegant hairstyle…

Tetsurou was trying to keep a poker face and a cool demeanour, but his heart was fluttering so much, and his cheeks were flushing so warmly, that he was pretty sure his line of thoughts was obvious to everyone. Thankfully, Akane was still daydreaming and Oshiro-sensei and his mom were talking.

"I couldn't recognise Masuyo with that make-up, she looked like a geisha," Oshiro commented once they were out of view.

"Wasn't she lovely?" Miki said with a smile.

They all nodded, Tetsurou remaining silent as to not betray himself with a possible croaky voice.

Once the ceremony at the Shinto shrine was over, everyone went to have a light lunch. In the early afternoon, the entire family, including the extended one, and the friends of the married couples moved to a nearby church where a Christian ceremony would unfold. They filled the seats while waiting for the bride and groom to change their outfits, which was obviously taking a long time.

"I don't see why they added another ceremony, they're not even Christians," Tetsurou mumbled, starting to be hungry.

"It's fashionable nowadays, that's why. And they wanted everyone to attend to at least one ceremony, including us, their friends and coworkers." Miki said.

"…I'm hungry… when is it gonna end?"

"Here, I took some snacks," Akane said, opening her handbag and giving him a cereal bar.

"Is that _all?"_

"It's more than _you_ have. If you don't want it, I'll take it back–" She said, reaching to get it back, but he pulled away.

"No! I'll eat~! Have I mentioned that you are the kindest soul I know?"

"Eat it before I try to smother you with it," she answered but her tone didn't match her words and it made him smile.

He quickly ate the cereals bar, as discreetly as possible, then pulled at his sleeves, like he had done a few times already. Akane noticed it and because she knew he was being a little sensitive about not looking as impeccable as most men around, she put her hand over his wrist.

"Have I mentioned that you are breathtaking today? You look very good in this suit, almost professional if it weren't for that hair of yours." She said with an amused smile.

He flushed lightly at her compliment before answering:

"My old suit was too small, Bokuto lent me that one. But his limbs are too short…" He said, pulling once again at the sleeves.

"We don't notice a thing when you're standing, don't worry. And no one looks at your wrists when you're sitting."

"You're sure?"

"It's a very nice quality of fabric, though. I'm surprised he has such clothes…" She remarked, passing her hand over the high-quality fabric.

"Aaah… he's the non-official fiancé of Kanemoto Ayaka – he got a whole bunch of suits and fancy clothes from the family so he wouldn't ridicule them."

"How rich is this girl, seriously…?" She muttered, rolling her eyes.

"I don't think we want to know, Bokuto said that he saw her bank account once and almost fainted. And she's the third child, still in high-school. I don't want to think of the money she'll have when she'll _work_ for the Kanemoto Group."

Before Akane could say anything, his lips turned into a smirk, thinking back of something to answer from her first remarks. He leaned towards her ear so she'll be the only one to hear:

"By the way, the day I'll tame my hair that makes me look so unprofessional… I'll marry you." He whispered, cheeks blushing despite himself.

Her eyes widened, cheeks turning red as she looked up at him with a stunned look. She opened and closed her lips, too embarrassed to find anything to answer, but before she could find anything to say, everyone suddenly stood up. The music started as the bride went to join her groom to the end of the aisle – they hadn't even noticed he had arrived…

Akane and Tetsurou stood up, following the movement of everyone else as the Christian ceremony started. She glanced up at him, still blushing, heart beating madly, wondering if… if he wanted to get married someday… He didn't seem like the getting-married type but he was also a lot more romantic and sappy than his looks let believe… Perhaps… perhaps… in a few years or so…?

Everyone sat down and she hurried to do the same, her mind still invaded of thoughts about Tetsurou and wedding and family.

Tetsurou glanced at her discreetly, noticing that she was still blushing and looking overwhelmed by his earlier words… the corner of his lips tilted up. Yeah, he could still see himself spending the rest of his life with such a bright spitfire like Saito Akane.

He reached out to take her hand in his, she startled but their now entwined fingers rested on her thigh as she glanced at him. And after a short moment of staring, awed and dumbfounded into his golden eyes, she smiled as well.

Their hearts were beating fast, they were still too young to think about it seriously, but that day, in this Christian church in Kyoto, they made a silent promise. If they had to get married someday, it'd be the two of them.

The ceremony went on for a long time but finally, the bride and groom exchanged rings and kissed under everyone's cheering. Tetsurou and Akane stood up with everyone else, applauding but his gaze wasn't on the newly married couple – it was fixated on his one and only.

"Akane," he called quietly and somehow in all the noise she heard him.

She looked up just as he leaned down, his lips locking with hers. She gasped in his mouth before closing her eyes, kissing him back. He dived head first into paradise, his hand going up to cup her cheek. They kissed deeply, passionately, feeling as if the cheering and applause was for them. For anyone seeing, they were two young adults feeling bold and kissing almost erotically but for the two of them, the world had stopped spinning and it left only the two of them.

Needing to breath, Tetsurou pulled away before pressing his forehead against hers. Akane swallowed, left breathless by this kiss. Both were trembling a little, hearts beating hard and their emotions overwhelming them.

They looked into each other's eyes, reddish brown against cognac gold.

A bump against the bench they had been sitting at startled them, reminding them that they weren't alone. They turned around and realized that most of the guests had left, following the bride and groom for their walk. Blushing and without a word, they sheepishly followed the rest of the guests, holding hands tightly. They couldn't even make it out of the church and with his height Tetsurou managed to see his cousin and his new cousin-in-law walking out under a rain of flower petals, everyone still cheering. He had to admit it, he cracked a smile, happy for them. Then, he realised that, despite not being too short for a girl, and despite her high-heels, Akane couldn't see clearly. Tetsurou pulled her hand until she was in front of him and without a word, he leaned down, grabbing her waist and lifting her up. She let out a half-scream while he kept a firm hold around her legs, knowing that even if she was light, he wouldn't be able to hold her up like that for a very long time.

"Up you go!" He said with a grin.

Akane looked over, grinning widely when she realized she had the best view of all – even better than the photographs! She laughed, some flower petals flying towards her with the wind and tangling in her hair. Only Tetsurou could do things that would make her feel such rapture.

When Masuyo and her husband got out of sight and the crowd started moving, Tetsurou let her down, accidently (or so he said) lifting up enough of her dress to let his hands tease her thighs and behind.

The crowd moved slowly back to the hotel where the reception, dinner and evening would occur. The guests all gathered into the ballroom, congratulating the newly married couple and offering them money as it was tradition in Japan. The married couple thanked everyone, and speeches followed. The dinner was a big buffet with plenty of food for all tastes and preferences.

Sitting at the same table, Tetsurou and Ken stood up in the same time, froze, glanced at each other then turned towards their respective ladies:

"What can I bring you, Miki?" Ken asked with a smile.

"I'm gonna get us some food, what do you want?" Tetsurou asked, trying not to look irritated at the perspective of spending minutes alone with Oshiro-sensei but he couldn't sit back down now, it'd be even more awkward.

Miki and Akane both looked extremely amused by the situation, but at least, Miki tried to hide it.

"Whatever, I don't mind," Akane answered with a teasing smirk.

"Whatever seems tasty to you, I trust your judgement," Miki answered Ken.

The two men glanced at each other then turned around to go towards the buffet.

"What I wouldn't give to be a mosquito or something tiny enough to follow them and listen to what they'll say," Akane said, still terribly amused by the situation, but then she noticed Miki's pinched lips and she spoke up again, "You don't have to worry, Kuroo, ugh-san… Tetsurou will get over it. He's already starting to deal with it."

"Do you really think he'll accept this relationship?" She asked, turning towards the young girl.

"Accepting it is another problem. But as long as you are happy… he'll be okay with it." She said with a reassuring smile.

Miki stared at her then smiled gently:

"Miki. You should call me Miki, Akane-chan," she said.

"U-uh? B-but… u-um… o-okay…" She nodded sheepishly, unable to look directly into the woman's eyes.

"Thank you."

Akane looked up, surprised by her sudden words. As if understanding her silent question, Miki continued:

"I don't really know how the two of you got together, especially after knowing each other for so long but… I can tell that you make Tetsurou very happy. I'm not sure I've ever seen him so happy with anyone before… or even relaxed. He… this boy is so sweet and kind, he's always tried to help me, even though it's my job as mother to ensure he has everything he needs. But he'd help anyway. With the chores, working part-time jobs during his holidays, and he's always been good, with good grades, successful in volleyball… I couldn't be prouder…"

Akane didn't say anything, knowing more was coming from Miki who suddenly looked a lot older than she actually was, no matter how beautiful.

"But he's never relied on anyone. He's always been capable of taking care of himself on his own, taking care of others… and everything I made him go through despite my efforts made him mature a lot faster than he should have… I know it's also my fault if he's grow up not believing in love and relationships…"

Miki looked up at Akane, smiling with her eyes teary.

"But you gave him everything he needed. He can rely on you, trust you and he finally seems to have found the little something that makes life worth it. So thank you, Akane-chan."

"…That little something… it's love?" She asked, lowering her eyes and staring at the table.

Miki misinterpreted her reaction, she reached out to squeeze the young girl's hands, making her look up once again:

"I don't want to burden you with anything, honey. I… I don't want you to think that I have expectations for the two of you – you live your life, your love, you make your own choices. You'll probably fall even deeper in love with Tetsurou, and him with you; you might fall _out_ of love… It's life, and it happens, and sometimes no matter how much you like someone it can't work out for various reasons… but… even if it happens and you break up… _please_ , don't break his heart, I'm afraid he'll stop believing in love completely…"

Akane felt her eyes sting and she looked away. Her heart betrayed her because she instinctively looked for Tetsurou in the crowd, her peace and her warmth, her safety net from the emotions drowning her. The moment she noticed his tall figure, she immediately looked down.

"I don't want to break his heart…" She said in a low voice, that broke a little and she was suddenly frightened that Miki was seeing through her and would guess everything she didn't want _anyone_ to know.

But the panic subdued when Miki squeezed her hands reassuringly.

"Thank you," she said with a smile, not understanding the true reasons of Akane's turmoil.

She let out a breath of relief, but it was short-lived because her heart immediately clenched, she felt like she was suffocating. But instead of trying to breath, she just held her breath, praying she'll survive these dark waters.

Meanwhile, Ken and Tetsurou were into the queue to get some food, both carrying two plates to put on the food they deemed good enough for the women of their hearts.

"So… how long has it been going between you and Saito-san?" Ken finally asked to break the ice.

"You know how long. Just a… few weeks. About two months… or something." He answered vaguely, not certain of when their relationship had really started – their first night together? When they had decided to be sex-friends? When they confessed with the fireflies just a week and a half or so ago?

"No, I don't mean when you started dating – you seem confused about it yourself – but when did you meet? Miki mentioned that you knew each other since middle-school. Were you in love with her for that long?"

"…We were friends back then. That's it. Then, we pulled away for various reasons. Then we got together." He answered, even more vague than before.

Ken didn't seem satisfied with this answer, giving a long, knowing look at the boy that made him feel uneasy. As if he was trying to figure out if one of his students had cheated on an exam or not.

"Don't do that," Tetsurou said.

"Do what?"

"The teacher look. You're not my teacher anymore. Thank goodness for that or my mom would have already roasted me a thousand times over for how rude I've been to you…"

"Sorry, habit and… well, I kinda deserve the way you're behaving with me." He admitted, glancing down quickly, "We didn't think you'd take it so badly… and once again, I meant no harm. Not against you and especially not against your mother. However complicated your relationship with Akane is– _was_ , whatever… Miki and I's is complicated too. Was. _Whatever_."

"I was the complication?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A little, but we had our own personal issues too… It wasn't always happiness and roses… but we worked through it, because we love each other… and we want the best for you, even if you might not believe us after that mess…"

Tetsurou stared at him, then glanced over his shoulder to look at his mother.

"…Do you really love her?" He asked in a low voice.

"I do, more than anyone I've ever loved," he answered with such honesty in his voice that it made Tetsurou waver – _he_ wasn't to a level of love where he could say such a thing about Akane with such unwavering strength.

"…Then, I'm fine with it… treat her well, she's the best person I know in the whole world and she's had more than enough heartbreak as it is…" He finally said, letting go of his annoyance (most of it, at least).

Ken glanced at him, then smiled. He put down a plate, so he could tapped Tetsurou's shoulder gratefully.

"Thank you. It means a lot that you're accepting our relationship."

He grumbled as answer and Ken couldn't help but glance over his shoulder, his smile widening when he caught sight of Miki – something that didn't escape Tetsurou's gaze and despite himself, he had the slightest of smile. Hopefully, his mom had finally found the right person.

"Looks like the girls are talking too… Ah, and… I suppose that I should tell you to do the same towards Akane. Treat her well, will you?" He said, still tapping Tetsurou's shoulder.

"Who do you think I am?" He asked, frowning and pouting, offended he'd receive a warning.

"The only one who managed to make her smile," Ken answered without hesitation.

It took Tetsurou off-guard, and he stared at him with slightly widened eyes

"I don't know the details of what happened to her… but her life hasn't been easy either. So be good to her, she needs someone with a heart as big as yours, okay?"

Emotions strangled Tetsurou and he could only nod, before looking back at Akane, worried and wondering yet again what had really happened to her… but she wasn't ready to talk, so he'll be patient and wait.

Once the plates were full of various food, they returned towards their ladies, Ken kissing Miki's cheek. Tetsurou noticed that Akane seemed disturbed and he raised his eyebrow, asking her the silent question about what had happened. She shook lightly her head and forced a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. He didn't insist but he kept a careful eye on her. It took several mouthfuls until her light trembling ceased, a few more for her to speak and joke, and by the time her plate was empty, it was as if whatever had happened had never happened.

The wedding cake was brought with music and light effects, it was cut by the married couple and distributed for all the guests. The buffet changed its propositions of food because it was covered in various desserts and champagne bottles.

"Tetsu! Let's go try the chocolate fountain!" Akane exclaimed once they had tasted everything and had their stomachs full but they didn't want to stop there – students didn't get such tasty food everyday.

She didn't wait for his answer, grabbing his hand and pulling him while he was lifting up a tiny cake towards his mouth. He let out a disgruntled, strangling sound, but followed her anyway, happy to see her so excited.

"They really like each other," Miki remarked for the tenth time since she had met Akane-chan.

"I know. It's good they're finally aware of their own obviousness." Ken agreed, nodding.

They watched from afar as Tetsurou teased his girlfriend, poking her in the nose with a chocolate covered strawberry. She ended up with chocolate on her nose and he laughed, before leaning down to lick it quickly before she wiped it off. Finally, he gave her the chocolate strawberry and they continued their light teasing and bantering.

As the party went on, they danced and drank a little, just enough to enjoy even more the dancing. They never danced on any of the romantic dances, often going back to the table and discussing in a low voice, or discreetly holding hands , or staring into each other's eyes under the light of the candles.

In the middle of a dance, Akane was spun around by Tetsurou, both chuckling but in their frenzy, Akane bumped into someone. They turned around to apologise, their smiles wavering a little when it was Miki and Ken.

"S-sorry," Akane said sheepishly.

"It's okay, be careful not to get hurt you two," She answered with a smile before turning back towards her boyfriend.

Tetsurou pulled Akane closer, distracting himself by possessively surrounding her shoulders with one arm. He buried his nose into her hair as she stared at him. Miki and Ken were so taken into each other they didn't seem to notice the awkwardness coming from Tetsurou.

"Let's go have a walk," Akane proposed with a smile, lightly pushing him in the vague direction off the dancefloor.

He smiled gratefully by her proposition and they made their way through the dancing people. His hand found hers in the crowd and once they were off the dancefloor, they didn't let go. They went out of the ballroom and into the big garden, following the path illuminated by some romantic lights. The sudden fresh air made them slow down, giving them chills after sweating from the dancing and the heat. They could still hear the music, muffled by the distance but still here.

"Thanks… but we could have kept dancing. I know you were enjoying it." Tetsurou said with an apologetic smile, squeezing her hand.

"It's okay, I'm getting a little tired and it was way too hot with all these people. It's nice here." She said, looking around even though they couldn't see much in the mid-darkness.

He stared at her just as her eyes illuminated, as if she had had a sudden, crazy idea – it was the same enthusiastic gaze she had when she found the answer to a particularly difficult problem.

Akane suddenly let go of his hand and leaned down, taking off her shoes and went off the illuminated path to run into the grass. She laughed in delight at the sensation as she spun around. Tetsurou couldn't help but smile, joining her without bothering to take off his shoes – her high-heels were a little more difficult to use in the grass, unlike his shoes.

"Akane," he called suddenly.

She turned around just as he showed her his hand, wiggling his eyebrows with a stupidly wide grin. He was being silly and seductive and she loved this dork so much.

She dropped her shoes in the grass and took his hand. Tetsurou immediately pulled her towards him, making her gasp as he made her spin around, her dress flying elegantly. Then, they started swinging, chest pressed together and fingers entwined. Then his hands went to her hips and her arms rested over his shoulders, gazing into each other's eyes. They danced softly to the rhythm of the muffled song, a romantic one that, if they had been in the ballroom, they would have avoided. But now, they were just the two of them in the fresh garden, under the moonlight, dancing with stars in their eyes.

They heard a ticking sound but were too lost into each other's gazes, smiles wide, to think twice about it. Then, suddenly, the irrigation sprinklers hidden around the garden started distributing water, like a sudden rain.

Akane screamed while Tetsurou laughed loudly, letting his head jerk backwards. His hands rested on her hips and instead of going to take refuge, they continued spinning around like children. They spun around, laughing and loving, under the artificial rain.

Tetsurou's hand found Akane's and he pulled her closer, pressing his forehead against hers as they slowed down, out of breath from the dancing, still a little out of breath. Their fingers entwined then he slowly let his fingers caress her arms, to her shoulders, her neck, to slowly cup her cheeks, thumbs delicately brushing the skin . She was smiling, eyes closed in bliss under the sweet touch. And he stared at her, he stared and he smiled, he stared and he fell in love…

Her hair, skin and dress were wet from the irrigation sprinklers' water, her make-up was smudgy from all the day and dancing. Her skin was glowing under the warm, golden lights, and when she opened her eyes… _Oh gods_ , waves of emotions overwhelmed him. He fell in love all over again, he felt warm and soft, he had these excited butterflies coming from his stomach and tickling his entire body. Looking into these eyes, these beautiful eyes, glowing like bronze, a color given by the reddish hue of her eyes with the golden light… He had no doubt he will still feel this way in a year, in ten years, in an entire lifetime…

"You're perfect…" He whispered under his breath.

Akane's awed and faraway expression was shaken by the warmth in his voice, the truth in his words… And her smile grew wider if it were possible, and her eyes shone like thousands of rubies. And she was the one to fall in love all over again with him in this moment. With him and the warmth he was giving her, and the way his eyes shone like gold.

Her hands went to his face, cupping his cheeks and forcing him down for a tender kiss that tasted like forever. Her lips opened to let him deepen the kiss, the soft warmth between them slowly but surely climbing into an ardent fire. He pressed her closer to her and without quite realizing it, they made their way back into the hotel, and their hotel room. Perhaps they kissed the whole way there, perhaps only when they weren't in public, perhaps they didn't care. They didn't even know anymore, nothing other than each other's touch and breaths.

Once in their bedroom, Tetsurou took the time to kiss her properly, their figures illuminated by the moonlight coming from the window. His hands caressed her arms, still humid from the water and the freshness of the garden. They went in her back, grabbing the zipper of her dress and slowly pulling it down as she curved her back, her body closer to his. Her hands went under his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. Without ever ceasing to kiss passionately, they stripped off each other's clothes with the tender touch of love, brushing each other's hot skin with the reverence of perfection. Down in just their underwear, their clothes fallen at their feet, Tetsurou let his hands wander against her behind and pulled her up. Akane wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her towards the king-sized bed. He let her down gently, kissing her neck, her breasts, her stomach then her thighs. Her hands went into his hair, pulling impatiently, for more kisses on her lips, and to quench the fires taking over her body.

Tetsurou chose the second option, taking off her red panties with expert hands and diving head first into paradise. Akane sighed in delight, head falling backwards on the pillows while her entire body curved, trying to get _closer_ , to feel _more_ of his lips and his hands and his love.

"Tetsurou… _Tetsurou_ …" She called, her whispers filled with loving vehemence.

She pulled at his hair, but it was gentle enough so that, without another word, he understood what she wanted. And he wanted it too. He raised, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses over her body until he reached her lips again, their tongues meeting and entwining like their bodies. He quickly took off his boxers before their bodies joined in perfect harmony, moving as one, their sighs echoing. They belonged together, there was no doubt in this instant. His hands wandered all over her body and cupping her breasts, his lips never ceasing to kiss her neck and lips and cheeks. Her hands never ceased to caress his body, lightly scratching his muscles, her lips never ceasing to sigh and whisper his name.

"I love you…"

"Akane… I love you…"

" _I love you_ … Tetsurou… I love you…"

Their whispers of love were echoed with sighs of pleasure, their bodies covered in sweat and burning like fire. Their hands found one another, fingers entwining and clenching onto them as if they needed it as an anchor.

Akane squeezed her thighs against his sides, drawing him closer, meeting his thrusts half-way to intensify it all. Tetsurou accelerated, his sighs turning into growls and their lips kissing clumsily, unable to stay connected because of their shortness of breath.

They looked into each other's eyes, into perfection, and they came in the same time, their minds blank with pleasure and love.

After a moment, Tetsurou collapsed on top of Akane, breathing hard while she caressed his wild hair and tenderly kissed his temples.

"You're perfect…" She whispered into his ear before taking the lobe of his ear between her teeth the way he liked it.

He kissed her neck and shoulder as answer, still out of breath, before sliding to her side and she rolled over. For most of the night, hands entwined and lips constantly whispering promises, they made love to each other, again and again, until the emotional exhaustion took over and they fell asleep into each other's arms. Into perfect love.

* * *

 _I had planned to post this chapter last Wednesday...but stuff happened... then I hd planned for yesterday but... I got too tired... Sorry it's late! ^^" I'll try to be more consistent with the updates. Next chapter will be an Oikawa one, either Wednesday or... y'know what, whenever I can... Best not to give any false expectation._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	22. Ghosts of the Past

_HEY! I'm not dead! I'm sorry for being absent for so long, I wasn't feeeling good enough to write and even now it's a little difficult but I AM writing, it jsut takes time. I have a few chapters of Beautiful Disaster ready but I want to continue with Aliens before psting another chapter AND I missed Ushiwaka and Bokuto's birthdays spical chapters so I'll work on these too. If I take too long for posting a chapter, odn't hesitate to kick my ass at some point ahah._

 _Here is the new chapter of Beautiful Disaster! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited! :D_

 ** _PLAYLIST'S SONG: Someone to Stay – 2:22 soundtrack_**

 _ **godavariflowsby** : Oh don't worry the drama is coming. :)_

 _ **Trainer Azurite** : Sorry yes, I meant tray! Not trail! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XXII : Ghosts of the Past

" _I'm not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human."_

— **C. JoyBell C**

" _You need to know that you deserve to be loved for who you are and not what someone wants you to be."_

— **Anonymous**

" _We mistake sex for romance. Guys are taught that pushing a girl up against a wall is romance. Sex is easy; you can do it with anyone, yourself, with batteries. Romance is when someone you like walks into a room and they take your breath away. Romance is when two people are dancing and they fit together perfectly. Romance is when two people are walking next to each other and all of a sudden they find themselves holding hands, and they don't know how that happened."_

— **John C. Moffi**

" _Can you see me? All of me? Probably not. No one ever really has."_

— **Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex**

" _I've spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won't leave, and fearing that it's a matter of time before they figure me out and go."_

— **Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet**

" _People who believe they'll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, learn it doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."_

— **Neil Gaiman**

" _To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been crueller than I've been to me."_

— **Alanis Morissette, "Sorry to Myself", Under Rug Swept**

" _There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human - in not having to be just happy or just sad - in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time."_

— **C. JoyBell C.**

" _With such a hell in your heart and your head, how can you live? How can you love?"_

— **Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov**

"… _It's a lot of responsibility to hold a person's heart in your hands."_

— **Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before**

Tetsurou went downstairs, whistling happily, despite still feeling a little groggy from the long, lovely night he had spent with Akane. He hadn't even bothered with his hair, hadn't gone running, and had thrown on the first clothes he had found. But he felt good and happy.

"Tetsurou!"

He turned around, noticing his mother coming over. She had dark rings under her eyes from the short night – he stopped his line of thoughts when he considered that she and Oshiro-sensei might have ended it the same way _he and Akane_ had. Let's remain ignorant.

"You slept well?" She asked when she arrived near him.

" _Oh yes,"_ he said with a chuckle before coughing awkwardly at the gaze she gave him, "I mean, _yeah_. It was… normal, y'know. And you?" He asked, ignoring his cheeks flushing when he thought back that he had accidently admitted spending an intense night with Akane in front of his mother.

"It was very nice," she answered with a playful smile which only made him feel more weirded out, "Ken is still sleeping so I thought I'd go get us breakfast."

"Urgh… The old man can't handle it then…"

"Tetsurou," she said in a light, scolding tone, elbowing his side.

"What?" He said, smirking despite himself.

They arrived in the breakfast room, finding some of their relatives and after the necessary good mornings and polities, they went to make a tray of breakfast food their lovers would like.

"Before you disappear back in your room, Tetsurou–" Miki called.

He turned around as she put down her tray of food, pulling out money from her pocket and handing it to Tetsurou who watched her with wide eyes.

"What's this?" He asked.

"It's funny you ask because I was certain I had explained to you _years ago_ what money was and how it worked," she answered with an amused smile.

"No, I mean… why do you give me money?" He asked, blinking in disbelief.

Miki sighed before smiling, the wrinkles at the corners of her mouth and eyes a little more obvious than usual without make-up and in the morning light. She was still so young and yet she was so marked, he hated that.

"Because I know how hard it had been for you these last few days with Ken… finding out I was dating your former teacher… I know it didn't turn out how you had hoped so… I'm not asking for your forgiveness with money but we're in Kyoto for two more days. I know it's difficult for you and Akane as students, so I want you to enjoy as much as you can."

She forced the money into his hands as he pondered her words carefully…

"Thanks but… you don't have to do that…"

"I know, but–"

"Because I don't care about who you're dating… well, I _almost_ don't care." He said, cutting her before she could insist, "It was a big shock that you're dating my old teacher but… you two seem happy together, which is fine by me… and so far he seems less problematic than all of your former boyfriends… As long as you're happy, I'm okay with all that, mom…" He said with a small smile.

Miki smiled, eyes a little shiny. Then she forced him down for a motherly hug, playfully messing up with his hair, which earned a groan from her giant baby boy. But Tetsurou hugged her back, both smiling.

"No matter what, you'll always be my greatest love, Tetsurou. I love you," she said, kissing his cheek as he pulled away.

"I love you too, mom…" he answered.

When Tetsurou returned into the bedroom he shared with Akane she was in the shower. He put down the tray on the table and even added a flower. He was checking that everything was here when she exited the bathroom, half-dressed and her wet hair slacked backwards.

"You look like a wet cat," he said, snorting.

"Very funny," she mumbled, putting on shorts and a sheen shirt to join him.

He was already sitting and she kissed his cheek before sitting in front of him.

"I'm going to take ten kilos in just four days here," she complained without hesitating in diving for the food.

"You'd still be the most beautiful woman I know," he answered smugly.

She gave him an unimpressed look, despite the smile playing on her lips.

"So, what should we do today?" She asked.

"My mom gave us some money so… we can do pretty much anything we want. We should spend as much time as we can enjoying Kyoto."

"There are like ten other places I want to visit! We'll have to go _everywhere!"_ She exclaimed, a determined gleam in her eyes.

"All right, all right, let me get some strength before. You sap all of it last night, y'know." He said, slowly munching on the food.

"I know, but hurry up! We need to get ready, figure out where to start, _go_ there! We don't have time to waste!" She exclaimed, unaware of how he intentionally slowed down.

He couldn't help but smile, and he wanted this moment to stretch forever. So he just made sure to eat slow enough so that their time together, in the morning sun, in the Kyoto hotel room, would last a little longer.

Their last two days in Kyoto were spent visiting everything Akane wanted to see and live, Tetsurou following happily. They spent a lot of time with Miki and Ken too, mostly for lunches, dinners and a few walks here and there. By the time the long week-end was ending, it felt _almost_ normal to see their old teacher holding Miki's hand. They were driven back to their apartment complex and were so tired that they immediately dropped asleep on their tiny bed too small for two. But they couldn't bring themselves to spend a night away from each other.

After their eventful summer holiday with their friends, during which they finally became a couple, and the long break in Kyoto for Tetsurou's cousin's wedding… they unfortunately had to settle back into a calmer rhythm. Back to school, back to training, back to working. They had half-expected it to change things between the two of them, to bring some frustration, to make their relationship harder in some way… but they had already been so used to each other, to working together, that the only difference was that instead of pining for more time spent together they actually _spent_ that time together.

A week went by, then the second week went by in a flash during which Tetsurou had to spend a lot more time training with the team. The U21 World Championship was about to start and he was entirely focused on it, skipping on some classes that left Akane alone, and spending most of his evenings doing practice matches or practicing later with his teammates, which meant she couldn't even meet him in-between her rounds at The Gem's. But she didn't mind, she wanted him to succeed and she knew how important this competition was.

One afternoon, Tetsurou left half an hour earlier his class, the teacher knew the reason why. He was thinking so deeply about the timing of his block that he didn't even glance at Akane as he left. She stared at him leaving, then sighed, continuing to scribble down the lesson.

When he arrived at practice, some of the U21 Junior team were already warming-up, others were already practicing, and others couldn't come before some more time. He quickly changed and joined the ones who had arrived, squatting down next to Oikawa to stretch his legs.

"Yoohoo~! How you're doing today?" The setter asked, in a good mood, maybe because Iwa-chan would come back the following day to train with the rest of the team.

"Fine, you?"

Just as Oikawa opened his lips to answer, a ball hit the floor with a thunderous sound, followed by a familiar raging cry. The whole team turned to see Bokuto, frowning terribly, grabbing another ball for another frustrated serve.

"What's wrong with him?" Kuroo asked when Bokuto missed again, which annoyed him even more. "Emo Bokuto? Something happened?"

But as he asked that, and Oikawa sighed, he realised that it wasn't emo-Bokuto. It'd be a sulking, depressed Bokuto but the one hitting ball after ball was _angry_. Bokuto was an easy-going person, he was rarely getting angry, even less to _such_ a level of frustration that didn't seem to get any better no matter how much steam he let out.

"Apparently he argued with Ayaka-chan. Badly. I don't really know the details, he just mumbled about her, arguing, not talking then started lashing out on his serves." Oikawa explained as a ball landed a little too close behind them for their safety but Bokuto didn't seem to notice them.

"Did he warm up at least?"

"Of course, he's angry, not stupid. And coach insisted he waited to practice but when he noticed he wasn't listening, he just let him serve hoping it'd get better."

"I'll take it he's not feeling any better then?" Kuroo asked as a furious shout escape from Bokuto, resonating through the entire gymnasium.

"Nope. It's actually getting worse I think."

"Great… I wonder what they argued about that he'd get so mad. They usually talk things through really quickly, and rarely get _that_ angry about each other…"

"Who knows? Perhaps Bottan will talk to us once he'll be calmer. Right now, I don't want to deal with his spike serve."

Once stretched Tetsurou quickly checked on his phone – he had sent a message to Akane to apologize for not telling her goodbye earlier but she hadn't answered yet. She was probably on her way home right now, considering it was her day off from work. He shrugged it off and joined the others to practice, thinking in the back of his mind of how impatient he was to join her and have an evening together.

Too taken into their training, especially with Bokuto useless for the day with how angry and impatient he was at the moment, the team didn't notice the time ticking by. It was only when the coach noticed how late it was getting, that he called it off and the exhaustion and soreness fell on them at once. Tetsurou didn't even think of checking if he had received an answer to his messages.

They went to take their shower, and just as Tetsurou was noticing the absence of messages from Akane, considered calling her in worry, his friends approached him.

"We're going to have dinner with Bottan to cheer him up, you're coming?" Oikawa asked.

"Uhm, I need to check on Akane, she hasn't sent me a message yet," he answered just as they started gathering their stuff to go out.

Oikawa seemed surprised and Bokuto glanced at him, a somewhat still annoyed expression on his face – but Kuroo couldn't tell if it was because of his overall mood, his pitiful results today, or that he had said no to cheer-him-up-dinner.

"I'm sure she's fine! She must be studying, or preparing you a lovely dinner~!"

"Then what's the point of having dinner with _you_ guys when my girlfriend is making me long for her homemade cooking?" He said with a smug smile, knowing that Oikawa still wasn't okay about being the only single one (he kept forgetting that Ushijima also was single).

"Who cares about girlfriends anyway!" Bokuto suddenly snapped, everyone turning towards him with wide eyes, "It's just a waste of time, money and heart!"

He grabbed his stuff and starting to stomp out of the changing-room.

"Go back to your girlfriend if you want her cooking so much! I don't care anymore!"

Silence resonated in the room as he angrily went away. Then, Ushijima turned towards Kuroo with a grave look on his face:

"It's worse than we had thought."

"Agreed. I'll join. Who knows what this stupid owl will do if he's so angry about whatever happened with Ayaka-chan…" Kuroo sighed, sending a message to Akane to warn her that a Bokuto-emergency had arisen with the team.

They caught up with Bokuto and they all went to dinner, with the goal of finding out what had happened with Ayaka and how to cheer him up.

A few hours ago, when Akane had finished the class, she was revising in her mind everything they had learned when suddenly, someone grabbed her arm and pulled her in a nearby, dark hall.

"Hey! Who do you–"

She frowned when she recognized the young man who had grabbed her.

"What do you want, Takehiko?" She asked to her ex-sex-friend.

"You know what I want, Akane," he answered, looking her up and down.

She rolled her eyes and turned around to leave but he placed his arm in front of her face to keep her from going anywhere.

"I didn't tell you to go away, we need to talk," Takehiko said, peering down at her with dark eyes.

"I don't need your permission," she replied, pushing him away.

She walked a few steps, aware of his burning gaze before hearing his voice again:

"You didn't tell him, have you?"

She froze. Slowly, she turned around, seeing Takehiko smirking victoriously as he continued:

"That boyfriend of yours… what's his name? Kuroo Tetsurou? You didn't tell him the truth about you."

Ice passed through her veins – she wasn't surprised he knew about her dating Tetsurou, they weren't really hiding it so most of their comrades knew it. But she was shocked and scared that Takehiko knew _his name_.

"Leave him out of this, he's got nothing to do with it," she said in a hissing voice, wanting nothing more than protect her boyfriend from hurt – and these terrible people.

"He's with you now, isn't he? Then he has a _lot_ to do with it. I haven't told your father anything yet–"

"Ah _yeah?_ What about the address where I live, you asshole?!" She exclaimed, coming back towards him just for the sake of hitting him.

He chuckled, barely moving from the strength she had used but that enraged her even more and she jumped at him, pushing him off. He almost fell over but he was still acting arrogant, certain she wouldn't do anything else, and that he was much stronger than her.

"Come on, he would have found you sooner or later anyway," Takehiko said with a shrug, "It's not that big of a deal, isn't it? He only saw you only once, after all."

Shivers ran down her spine, remembering that day where her stepfather had showed up in front of her home – Tetsurou had pretended to be her boyfriend back then to drag her away from him, he didn't know anything but… but it was possible that even without Takehiko revealing the truth about her relationship with Tetsu, her stepfather might know about him. And that was terrifying.

In just one second, at that realization, she felt too much guilt and regrets and almost collapsed. She should have never dated Tetsu, they should break up, they should–

"He still doesn't know about your boyfriend, and his name, but if you don't do what I ask of you, I _will_ tell him."

"You don't have the balls for that…" She whispered, teeth clenched.

"Like I didn't have the balls to tell him where you lived?" He mocked, remembering the day she had broken up with him – she had said the exact same words when he had threatened her.

She looked up at him, her eyes cold and seething, but he didn't even blink, grinning even more.

"I love it when you look at me like that." He whispered.

She was about to turn around again when he grabbed her arm, this time a little gentler than before. It was enough to stop her.

"Come on, I only want you back, I want _us_ back." He said, sounding a lot nicer than he actually was.

"There never was an 'us', Takehiko," she said calmly, "The only reason why I fucked with you was because I didn't want you to tell anyone what I was doing or where I lived."

"And I wouldn't have if you hadn't broken up with me. You _loved_ how I made you feel. It's _your_ fault if your stepfather showed up again, you know," he said in a sickeningly sweet voice, but it had the effects he wanted – the words sent a wave of guilt and fear over Akane, "What we had was so nice."

"No, it wasn't… you were using me, manipulating me– you still do! I'm not going back with you, I'm not doing anything! It'd hurt Tetsurou too much!"

"Because your lies won't hurt him perhaps?"

More guilt, more doubts, and she started shaking.

"I accept you, _all_ of you, no matter what happened in the past. But that guy? He won't. He doesn't know you like I do."

"It's wrong," she said, keeping her eyes fixated on the floor.

 _It's true_ , she thought, her throat tightening.

"He can't give you what I can… so leave him behind, and stay with me? We can be so good for each other, Akane." He said.

She didn't move, she didn't say a thing, which he took as a "yes". He approached his hand to her face to cup her cheek but she finally reacted, slapping his hand away. She tore his arm away from him and stepped away, glaring at him through unshed, frightened tears.

"Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. Stay out of my life!" She hissed.

And before he could say anything else that would freeze her on the spot until he'd have his way, she ran away. She hurried to mix with the crowd of students but most of them were already gone.

"You'll regret that, Akane! You know you will!" Takehiko shouted from afar just as she got out of his sight.

She kept walking and didn't look back, but her heart and soul were shaken to their core. She tried not to think about any of it, but she was too scared and she ended up wandering around town. She was too scared to find her stepfather waiting in front of the building. She went towards The Gem's but just as the sun was lowering, she got scared and turned around. She looked up and found herself in front of the gymnasium, wondering if Tetsurou was still practicing – but the door was locked. They were done with their practice. Which meant he hadn't heard from her for hours… Was he worried? Was he looking for her? Was he scared for her?

She liked to think he was but when she took out her phone for the first time in hours, she only read two messages, each hours apart.

 **Sorry I didn't pay you more attention earlier. I'll make it up tonight!**

 **I'm having dinner with the guys, Bokuto-emergency. Don't wait for me tonight!**

She put her phone back in her bag and leaned against the door then… she slowly slid down on the floor, the tears she had been holding back all afternoon, finally rolling down her cheeks silently.

When Tetsurou came back, a little drunk and still shaken because they still hadn't figured out _what_ had happened between Bokuto and Ayaka (it must be very serious if the talkative, excited owl refused so vehemently to talk about it). The only thing they knew was that he was extremely angry at her for some reason, she seemed angry at him too in his biased opinion, and once alcohol had hit him, he cried and then busted in more anger. But no clue about the events between these two. Even Akaashi didn't know what had happened, but Ayaka was in the same state back at Fukurodani.

Tetsurou tried to open the door to Akane's flat but it was locked. She always locked her door at night, and it was late, so she had probably gone to bed already. Not wanting to wake her up, he went into his own place, sending her a quick message then he fell straight into bed and started snoring, his head between two pillows.

The following morning, Tetsurou was awoken when something was suddenly dropped on his back. Said-thing wasn't very heavy, but it started meowing in an offended way, and into his ears. He lifted up his head, that was spinning from the sudden waking and the side effects of last night.

"You should see your face," Akane snorted.

He turned to look at her, and smiled.

"You look great. Someone had more sleep than me, uh…" He answered, voice croaky.

"More sleep and less alcohol, definitely," she said, shaking lightly her head while handing him coffee – that immediately woke him up and he sat up, "Did you come home late? You slept in your clothes?"

"Apparently I did, and… I don't remember exactly when I came back but it _was_ late," he answered, slipping the coffee with his eyes closed in blissful feeling.

NeKo, who had been unjustly used to wake him up, decided to curl up on his laps for a well-deserved nap – Tetsurou was tempted to join him by laying again on the bed. But Akane brought him a tray of improvised breakfast and he knew he couldn't go back to sleep – especially when he noticed that she had gathered everything he liked eating in the morning.

"Do we have important classes today?" He asked, earning a strange look from Akane who stared at him.

"If you are thinking of skipping because you're hungover, I won't allow it," Akane said with a stern look on her face.

He almost wanted to try and skip anyway to see what ~punishment~ she'd give him, but then he thought that with that look she'd be a wonderful mother, and he smiled like an idiot.

"I was thinking of skipping to go to practice actually. Our set-ups didn't work out well yesterday because of Bokuto's sour mood."

"Why are you smiling like that?" She asked, blinking, "Well, I don't know what you'll want to do later today, but I don't think all the team will join you in practicing on a Saturday."

"We're not Saturday, we're…"

His voice trailed off and he grabbed his phone that was laying between his pillows.

"We're Saturday! Why didn't you tell me that when I started talking about skipping classes?!"

She smiled in an amused way, snorting lightly.

"Because it was funnier to let you believe we were on a week-day." She replied with a shrug.

"We're Saturday, I'm hung-over and you woke me up in the _morning?!_ Why would you do that?!" He exclaimed, taking off his pants to comfortably sleep _more_.

"It's half past ten, Tetsu. I _did_ let you oversleep but I know you get cranky if you don't wake up before noon." She answered.

"It's not half…" He checked his phone once again and dropped on the bed with a sigh, "It is half past ten… thanks… I guess…"

"Now, what happened with Bokuto?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, we don't _know_ , something to do with Ayaka-chan, but he _refused_ to talk."

" _Bokuto_ refused to talk? U-uh. That sounds bad…"

"Yeah… that's why I sent you the message telling you I would stay with the guys, we tried to cheer him up and get him to talk, but it didn't work…"

His voice trailed off and he straightened up on his elbows, staring at her with narrowed eyes.

"What happened yesterday? You didn't answer my texts."

"I didn't have any more battery and then I forgot to answer when I charged my phone, sorry…" She answered sheepishly, "But, I can make it up to you if you want…" She added, leaning forward to kiss him.

He smirked, leaning forward for the kiss but before their lips could touch, she pulled away.

"In the shower, though, because you stink."

"Oh, yeah, sure, right away…" He answered when she stood up and took off her shirt right in front of him.

He followed her with his gaze, a lot more _awake_ just as she entered the bathroom. She turned around, smirking to him, then she made a ~come closer~ gesture with her finger. He stood up at once, fully awake now.

Akane was hoping that they could spend some time together, just the two of them, to resource from everything else, especially because Tetsurou had glanced at her a few times, as if silently asking if she was all right. She didn't let anything show since the previous day so he always shrugged off his worry but it was as if he could still sense that _something_ was off. It was strangely comforting.

But their resourceful afternoon spent just the two of them was cut short when Tetsurou's phone vibrated. He glanced at it quickly then answered the call.

"Hey~! Ushiwaka-chan, finally decided to join Akane and I for a steamy threesome~?" He asked right off the bat.

Akane sent him a look that was half-amused, half-exasperated, but she smiled anyway to see him grinning so widely.

" _No, I have no intention of losing my virginity to either of you,"_ was Ushiwaka's calm answer.

"Does this mean you'd be up for it if you weren't a virgin?"

" _No."_

"Ouch… you're hurting my feelings… So, what's the reason of your call, my dear Ushiwaka-chan?" He asked, knowing it'd rile up the spiker if he kept acting lovey-dovey with him.

" _Iwaizumi arrived this afternoon to practice this last week before we leave for the Championship. We're doing a special practice with him, Bokuto convinced coach to let us borrow the gymnasium. Then, we'll go have dinner somewhere to catch up. The girls will be with us too."_ He explained.

Tetsurou glanced quickly at Akane, disappointed not to spend the day with her, but knowing he couldn't afford to skip practice either.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there asap."

" _Okay. See you later, then."_

He ended the call, holding back a sigh as Akane stared at him, knowing what was about to happen but not saying a thing.

"Last minute practice with Iwaizumi. Though, I think that Bokuto is still feeling off and asked for it to let the steam out."

"Okay…"

"We'll have dinner all together tonight, so you should come. It'll be fun," he said with an encouraging smile.

She nodded, looking down, not daring to voice her disappointment and sudden feeling of strangling loneliness.

"Sorry, Akane, I promise I'll make it up to you!" He said apologetically, "As soon as the Championship is over, you'll have so much of me you'll throw me out the window!" He exclaimed, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose against hers.

It made her laugh and she put her hands over his cheeks, kissing his lips quickly then looking into his beautiful, golden eyes.

"As if I could ever get tired of you…"

He smiled, then kissed her cheek, getting up to get ready.

"You can come at practice, the girls will be here from what I understood. You could all go out and have fun while we train."

"And have Kiku-chan missing on her boyfriend's muscles at work? You're underestimating her thirst," she answered, checking out _her_ boyfriend's muscles as he got changed.

"Right, these two can't get enough of each other, uh," he answered, glancing over his shoulder at Akane, "And I know someone else who can't get enough of _me~!"_

She smiled at him and got up to gather her stuff. If her afternoon alone with Tetsurou was ruined with this last-minute practice, she might as well enjoy the sight of him playing volleyball.

They went to the gymnasium, finding their close friends and some of Tetsurou's other teammates. Kiku was here, but no sign of Ayaka nor Shiori.

"So, your boyfriend's back. I bet you must be pretty ecstatic," Akane said as the boys warmed up under them.

"I am! I only feel good when Hajime is here…" She admitted with a flush on her cheeks.

Her dark blue eyes saddened, probably thinking already of the moment he'll leave for the Championship, and how after it he'll be with her for a very little time before going back to Sendai once again… Akane felt bad for her, but felt lucky that her boyfriend lived a knock on the wall away from her. But Kiku immediately smiled, her eyes sparkling once again.

"But it makes the moments he is here all the more precious!" She added, always positive.

"You're so pure and good, it's sickening, but in a nice way," Akane said, putting her chin on the palm of her hand.

"…By the way, Shiori is joining me at the dancing lessons we're taking, to keep ourselves in shape. Do you want to join us? It'll be fun!" She said.

"I have too many shifts at The Gem's, I don't have time for that…" She admitted, looking down at the boys.

Her gaze landed on Tetsurou, as if she couldn't look away from him no matter how much she'd try. Not that she minded that much when he was stretching like that.

Kiku and Akane half-watched the boys practicing, and mostly discussed. A few hours went by and they started slowing down, preparing themselves to take away everything and take their showers. As they realized that, Kiku and Akane decided to go downstairs to help them out.

As everyone was distracted, talking about their practice, progress, their plans for the following and last week before the championship, a knock at the entrance of the gymnasium attracted the attention of some of them.

"Yes? Who are you?" Ushijima asked when he didn't recognize her.

Akane, who was nearby, turned around, freezing. She stared with widened eyes at the young woman who had just arrived. Such a light, golden shade of hair was unmistakable.

"I'm looking for Kuroo Tetsurou. Is he here?" She asked.

Ushijima seemed confused but he turned around, calling for his teammate who turned around, getting closer.

"Yeah? Who is…"

He froze upon recognizing the young girl. His eyes widened for a moment and he swallowed hard, paling a little and suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

Bokuto noticed her as well and gasped.

"What the– what are you doing here? It's been so long!" He exclaimed, getting closer before slowing down and glancing back at his friend who was still shock-frozen.

The girl and Tetsurou, under everyone's curious gazes, locked eye and he slowly approached her.

Minamoto Kohaku, the only girlfriend he had been attached to before Akane. And the one who had broken his trust and heart.

* * *

 _Sorry again for taking s long to post this chapter! "_

 _I cn't wait to post chapter24, until then, don't hesitate to tell me what you think! :D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	23. Need for Closure

_Like I said in the new chapter of Aliens, I'm sory fr being so late, it's very hard for me to do anything recently._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed!_

 ** _PLAYLIST'S SONG :_ _Poison & wine – The Civil Wars ; __Dust to dust – The Civil Wars_**

 _ **Valen Goncalvez** : Thank you for the follow~!_

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : Too abd she won't stay long. Also, drama has arrived~! ;D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XXIII : Need for Closure

" _No one forgets the truth; they just get better at lying."_

— **Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road**

" _You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent."_

— **Paulo Coelho**

" _Everytime I see her, or hear her voice, or hear her thunder feet approaching I am so truly happy and I know how lucky we are to be happy that way, and never to be bored alone together."_

— **Ernest Hemingway**

" _I am not actually tired, but numb and heavy, and can't find the right words. All I can say is: Stay with me, don't leave me."_

— **Franz Kafka, Letters To Felice**

" _Don't rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other."_

— **Russ von Hoelscher**

" _Love isn't getting comfortable after years of being together. Love is being vulnerable each moment of togetherness. It's openly sharing love without fearing experiencing heartbreak again."_

— **Kyle D. Jones**

" _I'll kiss you softly to wash away your pain, and then hard enough to make you forget everything but my name."_

— **Unknown**

" _Finally, in a low whisper, he said, 'I think I might be a terrible person.' For a split second I believed him - I thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder. Then I realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing."_

— **Miranda July, The First Bad Man**

" _Only one thing can make a soul complete and that is love."_

— **Bernhard Schlink, The Reader**

The few members of the U21 team who had come for this unexpected practice had finished putting everything away but no one was going anywhere near the changing-rooms. They were all gathered behind the court doors to try to catch a glimpse of what was going on further away.

Kuroo and Kohaku were talking, apparently doing great, not anything that seemed uncomfortable between the two. They were smiling, joking, but his hands were deep in his pockets and for anyone who knew Kuroo, they could see the slight tightness in his jaw, and how his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"So that's the famous ex-girlfriend who broke his heart?" Oikawa asked in a hushed voice, always one for gossip.

"Broke his _trust_ ," Bokuto corrected, "And yeah. That's Minamoto Kohaku. She's an expert in martial arts, super flexible and stuff. She saved Ayaka and I back in high-school when we got– anyway. These two were together for almost an entire year before she left Tokyo because of her parents' divorce."

"That's why she left?"

Bokuto, and everyone else, turned towards Akane who was staring at him with surprised eyes.

"You didn't know?" He asked, straightening up.

"No! I… I didn't know her much… we weren't in the same class, and I only heard a few stuff about her and… Tetsurou before she left. We only talked a couple of times by accident." She said, but her dark expression said she wasn't saying the whole truth about not knowing Kohaku, "Anyway, we never talked about her with Tetsu."

The others glanced at each other, curious about what Akane wasn't sharing with them.

"How can you be _seriously_ dating someone like Kuroo, who's been pretty shaken up by his past relationship with that girl, and not talk about it even _once?"_ Iwaizumi asked, saying out loud what everyone was thinking.

Akane whipped towards him so suddenly he was worried he had struck a nerve, but then she just looked away, lost in thoughts and dark once again.

"Hey," Kuroo suddenly said, startling everyone, "What's wrong with you? Are you done with cleaning up?" He asked, glancing at the court.

"Ah, uh! Sort of!" Bokuto stammered.

"We're done. We were about to go take our showers," Ushijima said, saving the other wing-spiker.

"Good then, um… I'm going to hop back to my mom's house quickly. Then, I'll join you wherever you are." He said, leaving a few of them dumbstruck.

He turned towards Akane, hesitating, but she smiled calmly, trusting him. He smiled back, nodded then hurried to get his stuff and waved goodbye to the others, following Kohaku.

The moment they were out of view, Akane's expression fell into one of absolute annoyance, clicking her tongue and a dark aura appearing around her. Everyone stepped away, hesitating and not knowing what to do about this sudden, unexpected turn of events.

"A-are you okay… Akane-chan?" Kiku asked, having more bravery than all these boys.

"I'm _fine!"_ She spat, glaring at where Kohaku and Kuroo had been a moment ago.

"You don't have any reason to be jealous. You and Kuroo are together now, right? He loves you so you have no reason to worry," Ushijima said in a stern, but honest voice.

It was surprisingly helpful, calming her down a little. It reminded Akane that she was the one with Tetsurou's heart in her hands, not Kohaku. She had had her chance, and had broken his heart and trust.

Bokuto, Oikawa and Iwaizumi, happily surprised by Ushijima's words of wisdom, turned to him, the first giving him silent thumbs up. Ushijima didn't quite understand their sudden enthusiasm about whatever had just happened but he nodded.

But Akane's face darkened once again…

"I don't have any reason to be jealous… but I can't help but worry… I trust him with all my heart and soul but… but Kohaku being back means his fears are back too. I don't want that for him." She admitted, realising she was opening herself more and more to the rest of her friends – she flushed in embarrassment, glancing away while Kiku patted her shoulders, smiling reassuringly in silence.

"It's not good just before the Championship, it's going to disturb him," Ushijima said, frowning lightly.

Then he glanced at Bokuto who startled at the sudden look he was receiving from the Super Ace.

"W-what? If it's because of Ayaka…! It _… I_ … I KNOW, OKAY!?" He shouted before turning around and leaving suddenly.

"What the…" Iwaizumi murmured, raising an eyebrow, "What happened?"

"Right, you don't know yet…" Oikawa said, quickly updating the last events to his best friend.

They took their showers while Kiku and Akane waited for them and finally, the group moved. They decided to join Shiori somewhere near the Black Moon Agency and found a little ramen restaurant.

"It reminds me of Seijou," Iwaizumi told Oikawa and Kiku, all three smiling fondly at the memories.

"You were going to eat at ramen restaurants after practice?" Ushijima asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Not _all_ the time, just every once in a while, or after a match. Where did you guys go, back in Shiratorizawa?" Iwaizumi asked.

"…We rarely went out of the campus because our practices lasted late, but when we had the chance to go, there was a restaurant nearby. It had many dishes, so everyone found something they liked." He answered, looking down at his ramen.

"It was the only place that we could go to without having to go all the way to town," Shiori added.

"It must have been rough, always being in a dormitory like that…" Kiku said, "I couldn't imagine being away from my parents, or my pets, or just not getting the chance to eat what I wanted just because I can't cook…"

"Oh we had access to plenty of stuff if we needed. If we felt like baking something, we could ask the patisserie club or something. It was nice, I liked it in the dormitories. We were near everyone and we could do sleepovers all the time," Shiori said.

"It was forbidden though."

"When did it stop me, Toshi?" She asked, raising an eyebrow, "And I recall a few of these forbidden sleepovers for which _you_ participated too."

"You mean, sleepovers I was dragged into by Tendou and you." He corrected.

"You always fell asleep within half an hour anyway…" She mumbled, looking away with a little pout.

"We still haven't done our Star Wars marathon night!" Oikawa exclaimed, pointing his chopsticks at Ushijima, Shiori immediately perking up.

"Ah! Satori told me he wanted to come here a few days before you guys left for the Championship! He could join us! I'll ask Semi-semi too, he has a few days off!" Shiori exclaimed, sparkling.

"Yes! That's the spirit! Ushiwaka, show that much spirit when we'll delve into the amazing, beautiful universe of Star Wars! Bottan! You're still up for the Star Wars marathon, right?" He asked, turning towards the wing-spiker.

He looked up from his phone, his ramen bowl barely touched. Seeing his expression, the others were reminded that he had been feeling a little depressed because of his big argument with Ayaka.

"Sorry, what? Yeah, sure," he answered without looking interested in the slightest.

Kiku turned towards him to cheer him up, but realised that he was sitting in front of Akane who was sighing just as much. She turned towards her boyfriend helplessly, not knowing what to do to cheer them up.

"H-hey, is it really such a huge argument with Ayaka?" He asked.

Bokuto sighed terribly, and everyone threw him a hard look – Iwaizumi just shrugged while Oikawa rolled his eyes.

"As always, Iwa-chan, you have a gift for talking to people," he commented.

"OI! If you're so good at that, go ahead!" He exclaimed, not even realizing that Bokuto was hearing it all.

"It's okay, guys. I'm gonna meet Ayaka soon." Bokuto said, glancing down once again at his phone.

"Is it… good news or bad news?" Ushijima asked after a moment of silence.

"…I don't know…"

"We still don't know why you two argued." Oikawa remarked.

It was Iwaizumi's turn to elbow him for lack of tact but Bokuto just shrugged.

"It's not something in particular, it's just a lot of little stuff… We don't see each other much, and when we do, we're both distracted by plenty of stuff… We bantered a little and then, I just… I looked at another girl just _once!_ I wasn't even interested or anything! But… Ayaka took it badly and we started arguing and then, it got worse…"

"That's _it?_ Just because you looked at another girl?" Iwaizumi asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kiku whipped towards him at once and he flushed awkwardly.

"I mean…"

"Don't worry, Kiku-chan, I'm sure Iwa-chan is faithful to you!" Oikawa said.

"He'd better be…" She mumbled, looking away from her boyfriend who looked sheepish and suddenly uncomfortable – but they knew he wasn't guilty.

Akane looked up at Bokuto just as he stood up.

"I gotta go face the consequences of my mistakes now… Wish me good luck… If you don't see me on Monday… erh, assume I'm dead…"

"Always so dramatic…" Shiori commented, "I'm sure it'll be fine! Ayaka-chan and you are made for each other, right? So it'll be fine!" She exclaimed.

Bokuto looked down at her, then glanced quickly at Oikawa, making both flush then he nodded, worry all over his face.

Akane suddenly stood up.

"That's it! I'm going to check on these two! They're taking forever to come back!" She suddenly exclaimed.

She grabbed her bag and ran outside, screaming bloody murder – and Bokuto's name from across the street so he'd drive her home.

"…Should we worry about them?" Ushijima asked very seriously.

His cousin laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine." She said, and as she said that it seemed that she was praying she could talk about herself as well.

Some time ago, Tetsurou and Kohaku had talked quickly and she had asked if he knew where some of her old books and stuff were. Back when they had broken up, he had put everything in a box and they hadn't talked for months after. Then they had met again in Miyagi and he had told her about this box of her stuff he had kept – or rather, he hadn't had the heart to throw away any of it. He hadn't thought about it for months but she suddenly showed up out of the blue to ask it of him…

"It's at my mom's, we can go now if you want." He said, checking the time.

"It'd be nice… Some of that stuff belonged to my mother, and she's asking for it." Kohaku explained without looking at him directly.

"I see…"

He ignored the way his teammates acted so strangely, and he didn't dare meet Akane's eyes as he took his bag and guided Kohaku, his ex-girlfriend, to his moto. He handed her a helmet – Akane's helmet – and climbed on it. She didn't hesitate in climbing behind him, holding onto him as they silently drove through the city.

It was strange being so close again to Kohaku after everything that had happened. She seemed all right, she was peaceful and happy – nothing like what he had given her back when they were together… He didn't have it to feel bad about it, he could only think about how different it felt with Akane.

They arrived at the Kuroo household, briefly remembering all the time they had spent there. Their endless talks on his bed, but never about what mattered, their first time, their first everything. Their first love – that was where they had felt love for the first time, even if it ended up feeling like a twisting thorn in their hearts.

Kohaku climbed off and he followed, quickly opening the door and hearing voices.

"Mom?" He called.

There was silence, a little stunned, then Miki arrived.

"Tetsurou? I wasn't expecting you, why didn't you…"

Her voice trailed off when she saw Kohaku behind her son. Miki seemed surprised then she smiled.

"Kohaku-chan, it's been so long…" She said, approaching her and embracing her quickly, "How are you doing in your new home? Well, I'm saying new but… it's been over a year, right?"

"Nice, I like it there. I'm studying at Sendai University."

"I see…"

Miki glanced between the two, but when Tetsurou remained silent, Kohaku spoke up again:

"I'm here to get my box of old stuff back, if you don't mind…"

"Of course not, honey. Tetsurou, show her the way, okay? Won't you join us for dinner, both of you?" She proposed just as Ken passed his head through the kitchen.

Tetsurou and him nodded at each other while Kohaku's eyes widened upon seeing her old teacher.

"Yeah, don't mind that," Tetsurou told her before turning towards his mom, "I'm joining the team and Akane for dinner right after. We're just passing by," he said.

"Oh, I see… Well, if you stay around, you're welcome here, Kohaku-chan," Miki said with a warm smile.

The girl smiled back, a little awkwardly after everything that had happened.

Tetsurou guided her upstairs, into his bedroom where there were a couple of boxes. One of them belonged to her and after a quick check that everything she needed was in here, she sat on his bed, looking around.

"It hasn't changed at all." She remarked.

"It hasn't been that long," he shrugged, leaning against his desk and arms crossed over his chest.

Kohaku turned her amber eyes towards him, staring until he felt uncomfortable enough that it showed.

"W-what…?"

" _You_ look different. You've changed a lot." She said with a strange smile he didn't quite understand.

Tetsurou didn't answer anything, staring back at her before sighing.

"You too… You seem better, happier. Everything is good with that chap of yours from Karasuno?"

"We both graduated, we're no longer at Karasuno."

"He'll always be a crow, and I'll always be a cat." He said with a light smirk.

"Of course you will," she said with an amused smile, "So… Saito Akane? Finally?"

Tetsurou opened wide eyes, surprised by the knowing look on her face. Kohaku was amused by his reaction but _he_ wasn't. He had been made aware that he hadn't been discreet in his pining for Akane all these years but… but he hadn't expected that even Kohaku, his ex-girlfriend, would be aware of it. That even during the time they had been together, he was pining after another girl.

But as he stared back, stunned, at Kohaku… he realized that _obviously_ she knew about it. Apart from Kenma, Bokuto and a few other people, Kohaku was the person who knew him best. They had been together long enough for her to figure out that his heart had belonged to someone else all along…

"Did it… is it part of the reason why we didn't work out?" He asked, unable to meet her eyes.

 _Did it hurt you?_

"Mmm… I think we would have never worked out regardless of the reasons."

It hurt a little to hear that, but he knew she was right.

"We got together because we were curious, we got excited and closer in the process, we were many things. It was fun and nice while it lasted, and it lasted longer than we both thought but… in the end it just wasn't meant to be."

Kohaku stood up and approached him as he looked down at her, a tiny smile pulling at his lips.

"I'm glad you found what you were looking for," he said, and he meant it with all his heart – he had never seen her so bright.

She smiled back, brightly, so bright it was shaking him to his core – but in a comforting way. Even all that had happened between them, the good and the bad, even if they couldn't go back to being friends, they could still talk and care for each other, in their own ways.

"And I'm glad you found what you _deserve_ ," she answered, patting his arm – it was a little awkward, but the sentiment was here, "She's the best person for you, and you're the best one for her. I don't doubt it."

"Thanks… for everything…"

Kohaku hesitated, then smiled sadly. In this room where everything had happened between them, and yet, nothing had bloomed. Nothing lasting, nothing good.

"You too… I'm honoured to have been Kuroo Tetsurou's first love…" She said, going on her tiptoes and kissing his cheek.

Her way of thanking him for how sweet and understanding he had been to her despite all her mistakes, all of _their_ mistakes, they had made.

"If that chap of yours treats you wrong, just say so. And all of Nekoma's volleyball team will go avenge you," he said, patting the top of her head.

She chuckled, amused, before nodding.

"Okay! I'll tell him that, I'm sure he won't risk your wrath!"

"Come on, I'll drive you back to wherever you need to be," he said, leaning away from his desk.

Before she could answer, Miki called her son from downstairs. They both walked down the stairs, and stopped in surprise to see Akane standing there. She whipped around at once, staring at the two then she looked incredibly uncomfortable – because she had let her jealousy get the best of her, because she hadn't fully trusted him, because she had forced Bokuto to drive her to their building and then, not finding Tetsu, she had gone here and… and now she felt ridiculous when she saw the two of them walking down the stairs, Kohaku carrying a big box.

"What's going on? Is something wrong?" He asked, approaching her.

"I… um, I was… passing by and I thought… I'd drop by." She said.

"Liar!" Bokuto exclaimed from the couch where he was sitting, having received some food from Miki and Ken.

Tetsurou narrowed his eyes when he saw his friend on the couch, acting so casual like he owned the place.

"She was making sure you weren't cheating on her or something," Bokuto added with a shrug.

Silence. Then Akane spoke up.

"No, I wasn't," she said but her voice betrayed her.

"You'd really think…"

Tetsurou's voice trailed off and he shook his head.

"Whatever. I'll drive Kohaku back and we'll talk about it later…" He sighed.

Akane didn't try to look unpleased and she nodded sharply. Kohaku suddenly intervened, forcing her box into Tetsurou's arms.

"Give us a minute, will you?" She said.

And before Akane could say anything, Kohaku grabbed her arm and pulled her upstairs.

"W-wait! Wait!" He exclaimed, forcing the box into Bokuto's arms after the owl had approached.

Why did he have a bad feeling about his ex-girlfriend and his current girlfriend having a 'discussion' in his bedroom?

"Wait, you two!" Tetsurou exclaimed, running upstairs after them just as he heard the bedroom door close and lock.

"O-oi!" Bokuto exclaimed, passing the box to Ken who grunted by the sudden box forced into his arms.

He followed his friend and they both leaned over the door, trying to listen to the hushed voices of the girls.

"Can you hear anything?" Bokuto asked.

"SSSSHh!"

They listened closely.

Inside the bedroom, Akane just stared, bewildered at Kohaku who didn't seem fazed in any way.

"So, I won't ask for the details about what happened between you two, but I hope you won't ruin this. He really likes you, he has for a long while," she started, looking right into Akane's eyes.

Akane vaguely remembered talking with Kohaku not long after she had started dating Tetsurou back in high-school.

" _So, you don't hate me for stealing him from you?" Kohaku had asked her, almost two years ago now._

" _Uh? What are you talking about?" She had replied disdainfully, pretending she didn't understand what the amber-eyed girl meant._

 _Kohaku's eyes turned sharp, staring right at her, and Akane feared she could see the truth._

Even now, in this bedroom, two years later, Akane shivered and was worried. Worried that Kohaku, sharp-minded as she was, could see through her and know the truth.

"What… what are you trying to do right now?" Akane asked, defensively.

"Don't worry, I'm not getting between you two. On the contrary, I'm encouraging you to stay together! I've never seen Tetsurou so happy than he is now… He's got that… that aura around him and I know that the reason he is smiling so brightly… is thanks to you. I can see that you too, you look much happier than before…"

Her voice trailed off and Akane waited knowing Kohaku wasn't finished talking.

"But… you still seem to hold back for whatever reason… I see the same light in your eyes right now as years ago. You still have the reflex of putting up your walls."

"…And?" She asked coldly.

"And I don't care, as long as these walls are down for Tetsurou. He doesn't need…"

Her voice broke and Kohaku looked away, biting on her lower lip in shame.

"He doesn't need another liar breaking his heart…"

Akane's heart missed a beat, and fear filled her veins like ice. She couldn't do that to him, no– she _wouldn't!_

 _Then why aren't you being honest with him? Completely honest? S_ he asked herself, knowing the answer _. Because you're a coward who doesn't want to face what she's become._

"I… I have no intention of breaking his heart… I… I only want Tetsu to be happy…" Akane said, her voice breaking from the waves of emotions coming over her.

Kohaku stared at her, her eyes glowing then she smiled.

"Then, it's okay. Just be sure to be honest with him, okay? Give him what I didn't."

Akane didn't answer, looking right at her just as someone knocked at the door. And Tetsurou's awkward voice resonated:

"Hey uh… girls? Everything okay in there?"

"Do you think they're fighting over you?" Bokuto asked.

Kohaku rolled her eyes while Akane sighed, shaking her head. She unlocked the door and they saw the two of them, standing, unscratched and perfectly civil.

"What do you think us to be?" Akane asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We were just talking about the two of you~!" Kohaku said, putting her hands on Akane's shoulders while smiling from behind her back.

"W-what the…" Tetsurou stammered, blushing terribly.

"And how pitiful you had been for your first time," Akane added with an amused smirk – there was no way she'd have another chance to tease him for that with his ex-girlfriend _right there!_

"A-AKANE!" He shouted, blushing terribly while Bokuto turned towards him with wide eyes.

"Hold on– wait, what? You were what?"

"I was all right, okay!? I did fine! Come on! _You!"_ He exclaimed, pointing at Kohaku, "You need to go home! And you…! You…!" He continued, pointing at Akane.

She smirked, approaching him until her chest was pressed against him. He put his hands on her shoulders, blushing and aware of the presence nearby of his ex-girlfriend, his best friend and his mother.

"Are you going to punish me, my Kitty Kuroo?" She asked, almost purring, "We both know that you're not the type to lead the game. Am I right, Kohaku-chan?"

"Oh, so right, he likes being cared for by his girls, if you know what I mean!" She answered, winking playfully.

"Perhaps some day we should team up to give him a lesson, then?"

"Just give me the place and time, I'll be there," Kohaku continued with a wink.

"Looks like you'll get that threesome you're dreaming of, then!" Bokuto said, patting Kuroo's back as he stammered pathetically.

A few minutes later, after some goodbyes, it was decided that Bokuto would drive Kohaku back to her parents – his way of not facing Ayaka right away even though he didn't think of the consequences of when he'll have to tell her he had spent most of the evening driving girls around town. Meanwhile, Tetsurou drove Akane back, carrying a bag of food prepared by his mom.

When they arrived at their building, he ensured that his moto was well-secured and finally spoke up:

"So, what did you really talk about with Kohaku?" He asked, locking the security around the wheel.

"W-what?" She stammered, surprised he asked such a thing now.

"You barely talked since you left my bedroom, and don't think I didn't notice that look on your face. So, what did you talk about?" He asked again, standing up and looking down at her.

Akane hesitated, realizing that no matter what, she could never hide anything from him… She looked away, using her arms to surround herself, as if it could protect her from harm.

"…She wanted to make sure I was being honest with you…" She admitted, still not looking into his eyes.

"Oh…"

There was a moment of silence until he spoke up again:

"Were you really worried I'd cheat on you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

She looked back at him, stunned, opening and closing her eyes. Then, she shook her head.

"N-no… not really but I just… I don't know, I just wanted you back with me… _all_ of you… I didn't like you two being together when… I don't know what happened between you, not really…" She admitted, looking down.

"O-oh… is that… is that all? You could have just asked," Tetsurou said, flushing and passing a hand through his hair.

"I never thought about it until she showed up…" Akane mumbled, looking down, annoyed by the annoyance she felt.

He chuckled lightly then showed her his hand.

"Come on, let's go upstairs. And I'll tell you everything if you want to hear it," he said.

He waited for her to take his hand, but she only stared at it.

"S-she asked me to be honest with you, like she hadn't been… I…"

She still felt that ice creeping all over her body, the thorns making her heart bleed. It was good, it was so good with Tetsurou but she couldn't… she couldn't afford to keep this up…

" _You still seem to hold back for whatever reason… I see the same light in your eyes right now as years ago. You still have the reflex of putting up your walls."_ Kohaku had said.

She was right, she was so right… Akane couldn't afford to hide any more of the truth to Tetsurou, not when he was being so sweet, patient and honest to her…

Maybe Tetsurou felt what was coming because he held his breath, waiting, a little worriedly, at the next words that would come out of her mouth:

"T-the truth about me… the ugly truth… I-I…"

Akane closed her eyes, fighting against the burning tears, her throat tight. She felt like she was about to throw up.

She opened her trembling lips, but before a word could escape her, Tetsurou put his fingers under her chin. He forced her head up, looking right into her eyes.

"Hey… you don't have to force yourself to tell me what happened to you if you don't feel ready… We had agreed to it, right? I'm waiting for you to be ready to open up… and once you do, I'll choose you all over again." He said with a tight, but encouraging smile.

 _No, you won't_ , she thought, unable to look away, to say anything else, as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

He wiped it away, then leaned down, kissing the corner of her eye as she sniffed.

"Come on, let's go eat what my mom prepared. We'll talk if you want, or we'll cuddle if you prefer, or we can just make love until we can't move a muscle." He said with a tempting wink.

She couldn't help it, she chuckled, wiping away the last of her tears away. Only _he_ could make her smile like that.

"That sounds like good plan, all of that," she said.

"My~! Doesn't that sound like a delicious feast~?"

The last week before leaving for U21 World Junior Championship that would require flying to Turkey, Tetsurou and Akane, and most of the ones who had girlfriends of their own, decided to spend as much time with them as possible. Their studies were put on hold for a while, so they could entirely focus on training and relaxing before their first big, international competition.

In order to not get left behind in his classes, Tetsurou still made sure to keep a certain amount of time per day studying. And because he also desperately wanted to spend more time with Akane, but she was busy, he ended up studying at The Gem's. It wasn't opened yet, only a few of their workers were there and Akane was practicing a new pole dance with her teacher, Rei-san, – one he had never seen here, who was a former dancer and worker at The Gem's but had quit the night shifts after she had had a child. She was now giving dance lessons in her own dance studio and was still working for The Gem's as dance and pole dance teacher for the younger girls.

It was a completely different atmosphere from usual – all the lights were turned on, there was no one except a few girls who were joking and lazying around, wearing actual clothes or studying like he was. The only other men around were a bartender and two bodyguards who were a lot more relaxed than usual considering there was no customer around.

It was a very family-like and friendly atmosphere, compared to the one he was used to at night.

"Akane-chan, I told you to stop glancing at your boyfriend!" Rei exclaimed after the tenth glance she sent his way.

Tetsurou looked up, raising an eyebrow with a huge, amused smirk while Akane blushed furiously, climbing up her pole once again. And unlike the others times he had seen her pole dancing, she wasn't wearing any red, sparkly wig, make-up or flimsy outfit. She was just wearing shorts and a sports bra. Her hair was more or less tied backwards to not get in her face and she was sweating and struggling as she learned the new dance – nothing like the graceful, perfect woman who was performing at night.

"I get it that he's distracting, but focus or you'll fall!" Rei continued, "Try again the sequence, try to get the tempo right." She added, starting the music again.

"Yes!"

Tetsurou admired her for a little while before lowering his head once again on his homework. He had barely advanced – perhaps he should have stayed in a back room like Akane had told him, he wouldn't be so distracted. And _she_ wouldn't be distracted either.

"Boss! You're here!"

"Boss! How are you doing?"

The cheerful voices of girls made Tetsurou and everyone else in the room stop and turn around, grateful smiles appearing on their faces. He had never met "the boss" but from what he had heard from Akane and a few other girls… He had inherited The Gem's from his father, along with a few other business but mostly, he was a nice guy who ensured that the people working for him were given enough money to survive, even if it was more than their pay-check, and were kept safe by him. Akane had spoken about him with such gratefulness, without ever giving any detail in _how_ he had helped her, that Tetsurou was extremely curious.

He looked up from his desk, seeing a guy in his late forties, grayish dark hair, accompanied by an elegant woman. She was holding a little girl's hand. His wife and daughter, probably.

Rei had stopped the music and Akane went down from her dance pole, both smiling to welcome and talk to the Boss.

"Akane-chan, how are you doing?" He asked with a warm voice.

"Akane-nee-san!"

Akane's smile brightened as she bent down for the little girl to run into her arms. They both laughed, Akane hugging her close as she stood up again.

Tetsurou was happily surprised to see Akane with a little girl, both smiling so happily. They were close enough that he could stare at them… and his smile wavered. His heart missed a beat and his pen slipped out of his fingers.

He couldn't stop staring at them. The little girl in her Akane's arms, the way her face had lit up when she had seen the little girl… the reddish brown eyes they shared.

It felt like a cold shower and his heart was thundering in his chest, he didn't know what to think but in the same time, his line of thoughts was crystal clear.

That little girl looked no older than two or three years-old, and she looked like Akane, how he imagined Akane's daughter would look like. But, but… it was impossible, right? Right? Akane was – she had been in high-school, even if she had been sexually active… she had never disappeared long enough for such a thing to happen. That was impossible, right?

But he could see again the curves of her body. Around her waist, her breasts, her thighs, curvy… and covered in stretch marks, curvier than an eighteen years old girl should be.

But it was impossible… right?

He was so disturbed that he didn't realise that at some point, Rei had pointed at him and the Boss had turned towards him. Realizing that the man was expecting him to be introduced, Tetsurou awkwardly stood up and approached.

"Nori-san, this is… this is Kuroo Tetsurou," Akane said with a smile, still holding the little girl in her arms.

Up-close, their resemblance was even more obvious. But then, Tetsurou looked at the man and froze. His were slightly darker, but it was still the same shade of reddish brown.

"Ah, the famous boyfriend, then? I finally get to meet you after hearing so much about you!" Nori said, happily taking the boy's hand.

"U-uh… yes, thanks… uh… hi…" He stammered, weakly shaking back the hand.

Nori stared at him, blinking, not understanding why he acted so weird. Akane too turned towards Tetsurou, wondering why he was so strange.

"If you're treating our little Akane-chan correctly, then, good! You're welcome here anytime!" Nori continued, to shake off the awkward atmosphere.

"T-thanks…"

Just as Tetsurou was slowly becoming more like himself, Nori smiled to them and walked away, followed by his wife and the little girl who was reluctantly put down on the ground by Akane. Tetsurou turned to observe her.

Akane and the little girl didn't stop staring at each other, until she was called by her mother and ran after her, taking her hand. Nori and his family disappeared in the back rooms.

"You're okay?" Akane asked him, putting a hand on his arm.

"Ah, uh, yeah, just…"

She kept observing him, wondering what had happened.

"Maybe you should go home and rest? You haven't rested since last Sunday… and I'm worried about you overworking yourself…" She continued.

Tetsurou opened and closed his lips and, without meeting her gaze, nodded, lips thin.

"Y-yeah… I-I'll do that… I must be tired, that's it…"

Maybe that was the reason why he had started overthinking stupidities?

He gathered his stuff, kissed Akane goodbye on the cheek and left, his brain still fuzzy from all these events. What was the relationship between all these people?

As far as he knew, Akane's mom died when she was little and her stepfather had taken care of her since then. Was Nori the stepfather? No, there wasn't the animosity between the two that appeared everytime she mentioned her stepfather. Akane had said she had never known who her biological father was but… such reddish eyes was an unique trait. One shared by Akane, Nori and that little girl. What was their relationship?

Just as he exited The Gem's, trying to make sense of all that, Tetsurou came to a stop upon meeting Nori who was discussing with the head of security, both smoking outside.

"Oh, Kuroo-kun, right? You're leaving already?" Nori asked with a warm smile.

Tetsurou understood why he was appreciated by all his workers – he was genuinely good to each and every one of them… but what was his relationship to Akane?

"Yeah I… uh, I'm a little tired… so I decided to go home."

Nori nodded with a smile but his eyes seemed to see through him – just like earlier when he had noticed the strange behaviour from Tetsurou, and the way he had glanced between all three of them.

"I'll go back inside," the security chief said, finishing his smoking and going through the door Tetsurou had just taken.

A tense atmosphere settled between him and Nori. He was tempted to just go and ignore him, but his feet wouldn't move.

"So, you're the famous Kuroo we heard about for so long? I'm glad you're finally together, Akane seems much happier since you've entered her life. I know you're a good boy, so don't fail her, okay? She's been through a lot." Nori continued, still smiling.

Tetsurou observed him with iron-sharped eyes.

"What is Akane to you exactly?" He asked without hesitation.

Nori hesitated, his smile wavering, then he forced the smile again:

"She's one of my precious workers and I want to make sure she is well cared for by her boyf–"

"Don't take me for a fool. I _know_ … I can _see_ that you _two_ … there is a resemblance between you, Akane and that little girl. So what is the relationship between all three of you?" He asked again, frowning lightly.

Nori stared at him, as if judging whether or not he was worthy of being told whatever he was about to say.

"…Akane is the daughter of a good friend of mine. She passed away years ago, and I watched over Akane since then."

Tetsurou clicked his tongue.

"That good friend of yours… it's Akane's mom, isn't it? And you two… you weren't _just_ friends, right?"

"You're sharp and observant. I should have known that much from everything Akane told me…" He said with a gentle, sad smile, closing his eyes.

Tetsurou swallowed hard, realizing that… that just in front of him, was standing Akane's biological father.

"Does Akane… does she know?" He asked in a tense voice.

"As far as I know… Mizuki never told her, she decided not to because of my own stupidity… then she married that man. I can't tell if Akane is oblivious of our relation because it's never been explicitly said, or if she's aware of it but refuses to acknowledge it…"

"Because you're married now? And you have… that girl, she's your daughter, right?" Tetsurou asked for confirmation.

"I was married back then too. I'm married again. And yes… that little girl is my youngest child."

 _Youngest child_ …

"I'm not sure that telling Akane would be the right thing to do. Our relationship is distant, but good. It's the most stable she's been in years, partly thanks to you, so don't ruin that, okay?" Nori continued, and there was the slightest bit of threat in his voice that had Tetsurou's body go rigid.

"I have no intention of ruining anything." He muttered between his teeth.

Nori observed him, his eyes curious and confused – full of mystery, like Akane's often were. Then he made a move back towards The Gem's but paused, putting a hand on Tetsurou's shoulder.

"When Akane will tell you the truth… don't judge her too hard. I'm the one who made the mistakes, not her. She's only the victim." He said in a hard, shameful voice.

Tetsurou whipped towards him but Nori was already letting go of his shoulder and calmly, leisurely, descending the stairs to The Gem's. He was acting like a lazy, relaxed old man, just to put up a face in front of his workers – and Akane.

 _Akane doesn't know he's her father, or she's ignoring it. And she… what the heck happened that she'd keep it a secret? What is she so afraid to tell me? What mistakes did that man do that turned her into a victim?_ He thought, worry pulsing through his veins.

He was willing to wait for Akane to be ready to talk, he _really_ was and he didn't doubt he'd choose her all over again but… but… what had _happened?_

* * *

 _So, what do you think of the arrival of ~Drama~? ;D_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	24. Nightmare

_Here is the new chapter! I apologize for it being late again... T.T_

 _Thank you to everyone who follwoed, favorite or reviewed._

 _ **PLAYLIST'S SONG : Only love can hurt like this – Paloma Faith**_

 _ **Valen Goncalvez** : Thanks! I'd love to know what you think! :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XXIV : Nightmare

" _You have to work at relationships. You can't just walk out on them every time something goes wrong."_

— **Nick Hornby, High Fidelity**

" _And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more."_

— **Franz Kafka, The Castle**

" _We don't always fall in love with the most suitable people, do we?"_

— **Ken Follet, Winter of the World**

" _I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary… It begins in your mind, always… so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."_

— **Yann Martel, Life of Pi**

" _That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable."_

— **Deb Caletti, The Fortunes of Indigo Skye**

" _We want someone that we can be at our weakest with, and not feel so. That our vulnerability isn't taken advantage of, but taken care of."_

— **Dae D. Lee**

" _I don't understand. I don't understand anything. I don't understand you. But I stay."_

— **The Hour Of The Wolf (1968), Dir. Ingmar Bergman**

" _I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed."_

— **Sarah Dessen, This Lullaby**

" _If you told me today our being together would result in heartbreak, I would still choose to be with you because I believe that truly living life is in the experiences, not the outcomes."_

— **Kathryn Vance-Perez, Love and Truth**

Tetsurou was changing clothes, discussing with Iwaizumi of their classes – biology and chemistry had some similarities at times so they found plenty of topics – just as the door of the changing-room opened widely.

"THIS IS TERRIBLE!" Oikawa shouted, eyes wide and looking completely panicked.

Everyone had startled at his sudden, unexpected arrival.

"What's going on?" Adachi asked.

"I just saw Ayaka-chan!" He exclaimed.

Kuroo and Ushijima glanced at each other while Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at his childhood friend.

"Which is… normal? She often comes by to see Bokuto or encourage us… I don't see what's so surprising?" Kuroo finally answered, putting on his training clothes.

"No, no, no! You don't understand! She was in front of the gymnasium! Kissing someone! Who _wasn't_ Bottan!" Oikawa continued.

Everyone blinked at him, finding it hard to believe… They didn't know if Bokuto and Ayaka were back together, or had solved their argument, but they couldn't imagine Ayaka-chan cheating or changing boyfriend so quickly. Especially in front of the gymnasium where Bokuto would go.

"Are you sure you're not making a mistake?" Ushijima asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"I know what I saw! Ayaka-chan was kissing some guy I had never met, who had brown hair! If Bottan sees that, he'll lose it! We need to do something!"

"Brown hair…? Did you see his face or not?" Kuroo asked, having an idea of what had happened.

Oikawa shook his head no and opened his lips to answer when the door opened again, letting a familiar guy come in.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" He exclaimed.

"It's _him!"_ Oikawa shouted while everyone stared with wide eyes at Bokuto, "Did you see Ayaka kissing another… hold on… what have you done to your hair?!"

"Ayaka? Kissing who? I was with her just now," Bokuto answered, raising a confused eyebrow.

"That wasn't another guy! It was _Bokuto_ , you idiot!" Kuroo exclaimed, slamming his hand behind Oikawa's head.

"Wha– but he looked so different with brown hair…!"

"Your hair… did you dye it?" Iwaizumi asked, blinking in disbelief.

Bokuto grinned, putting a hand through his brown hair. His hairstyle had completely changed – the grey and black were gone, replaced by brown. Instead of the usual spikes it was thrown backwards and he had an undercut.

"Looks great, right?!" He said excitedly, "I was considering changing hairstyle for a while, but I didn't want my roots to look weird as it grew back so I dyed it in my natural color!"

" _That's_ your natural color?! You have a _normal_ natural color?!" Oikawa exclaimed, realizing Bokuto's natural hair color was similar to his own.

"What did you think my natural hair color would be like?" Bokuto asked, shrugging.

"I thought it was grey…" Ushijima said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Oikawa nodding at that.

"That's not a natural color!" Kuroo exclaimed.

"Unless you're albino," Iwaizumi remarked.

Of course, it lead to a long and loud discussion about natural hair color and albinism and Bokuto's new hairstyle. Their senpais were used to their shenanigans so as soon as they were done changing, they sent them to warm-up. Ayaka watched their practice – she and Bokuto had talked it through – and they were sickeningly cute and sweet once again.

And just a few days later, the entire U21 team left Japan for the World Championship.

"WOOOOOWW!" Bokuto shouted, unable to find any other word.

"LOOK LOOK! IWA-CHAN!"

"Will you calm down, yeah?" Iwaizumi grumbled, irked off by the jetlag and the constant awe from the two main idiots of the team.

"You should stay focus instead of wandering around and wasting your energy screaming at everything," Ushijima added, just as tired and annoyed as Iwaizumi – but he somehow looked a lot more dangerous, probably because he rarely had such an annoyed look on his face.

"But you two are _boring_ , remaining all calm and quiet! We're in TURKEY! We're going to play against the world's best teams of volleyball! Aren't you excited?!" Oikawa exclaimed, wearing a fez hat and taking selfies of himself every ten meters.

"I _am_ excited, but also dead-tired and you're exhausting me even more…" Iwaizumi mumbled, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

"Oikawa! Come here!" Bokuto shouted from the other side of the street, immediately joined by the setter.

"These two…" Iwaizumi growled, about to go punch them behind the head for lack of a volleyball in his hands nearby.

"Well, it's fine if they enjoy the trip. We'd enjoy it a lot more if we weren't jet-lagged and it's nice to see them so excited…" Adachi, the Captain of the U21, said, "I know you're tired, but you can relax too. We're the senpai, we'll watch over the over-excited kids over there."

Iwaizumi hesitated, glancing warily at Oikawa and Bokuto.

"Go enjoy the visit. We won't have much time for sight-seeing once the championship starts. We have one more hour before going back to the restaurant for dinner." Hatanaka, the main setter of the team, told them.

Ushijima gave a short nod and started moving forward, joining a few more of the newbies who were watching a stand's goods. Iwaizumi was about to join them, grateful to not have to look after Oikawa and Bokuto for once, but he looked over his shoulder, noticing that Kuroo was strangely calm.

"Hey, you're okay? You're awfully quiet. I would have expected you to be as crazy as the two others…" Iwaizumi told him.

"Ah? Uh, jet-lagged, I guess… I'm thinking about Akane," Kuroo answered, looking tired – and distracted.

Iwaizumi stared at him, Kuroo had been distracted for days now. Even before they left Japan for Turkey. So it couldn't be the jet-lag but everyone was so stressed and focused on the championship that if they noticed his absent-mindedness, they didn't mention it.

"I miss Kiku too," he admitted, his voice softening and a smile tugging at his lips.

Kuroo couldn't help but smile too, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Just as Iwaizumi was about to ask him something, he looked at Bokuto and Oikawa who were trying to challenge Ushijima to eat a particularly frightening pepper.

"It's good that Ayaka and Bokuto talked things through after that huge argument of theirs. He's in top-shape now. I wonder if one of us will get to participate to the matches…"

"I hope we will, but… it's not likely. Or if they have to choose someone it'll probably be Ushiwaka. He's the only one with international experience… geez, Oikawa and I never even made it to Nationals…" Iwaizumi mumbled, and despite his worry for his friend, his stress for the competition was greater.

"One hell of a big step, from high-school prefectural preliminaries, to international U21 Championship in Turkey." Kuroo said with a smug smile, even though he didn't feel much braver himself.

"Urgh… My stomach is tight in stress, I feel like I'm gonna be sick. It's like my first match back in middle-school!" He said, laughing a little at the memory.

He had been frozen in fear when he had been called on the court, Oikawa had hit his back so hard he had fallen forward into the net, and coughed out half of his lungs. But it had been just what he had needed to be his usual self. Except this time, he probably wouldn't have Oikawa to have his back when he'll step on court for the first time, whether it'd be during this competition, the next or another one…

As if capturing his thoughts, Kuroo tapped his shoulders, with more strength than Iwaizumi would have imagined, and a confident smile – an unexpected trust that the middle-blocker was putting into him.

"Don't worry too much about whether or not we'll get to play, and how we'll play. Let's just enjoy our time here! And if we get to play, let's make the most of it!" He said.

"R-right… yeah! You're right!"

The sudden sound of something crashing down startled them, followed by the loud voices of Hatanaka. It got both Kuroo and Iwaizumi to turn around. They weren't even surprised to see that Bokuto and Oikawa, in their excitement, had provoked a big mess.

"Let's be out of here before the senpais see we're still around?" Kuroo proposed.

"Yeah. Let's hurry before they drag us into fixing their mess."

They quickly went into another direction, not trusting the patience of their senpais before they'll call the two baby-sitters for help.

Decided to make the most of their time in Turkey, of the Championship, Kuroo and his friends spent all the time they could afford into visiting the city. It helped distract them from the championship, their nerves getting the best of them, in a thrilling way.

Once the championship started, they were entirely focused on it, on the possibility of participating in it, of helping their senpais and encouraging them. After being used to spending an entire match on the court back in high-school, standing on the sidelines was strange for all of them. The atmosphere was very different too – the cheers, the crowd, the commentators, the crazy enthusiasm of the coaches and players on and off court from every team… Like their lives and pride were on the line – and to some extent, it was.

The matches went by one by one, the team getting more and more excited the higher they climbed. But then, they were defeated and the U21 team of Japan finished 10th out of 20. It wasn't bad on a world-scale but they had hoped to shine a little more. Oikawa was the most bitter of all of them. Kuroo, and most of the younger ones, didn't get to play at all but the experience left them with hearts filled with awe, dreams and determination. Someday, hopefully soon, they'll be the ones defending the colors of the Japanese flag on the international stage.

"Hey…" Bokuto said in a surprisingly low voice, attracting Kuroo's attention as the team slumbered in the plane before its departure to leave Turkey and go back to their home-country, "We were so close."

Kuroo frowned lightly, about to say that even if they fought well, their results weren't good enough and they had lost so close to another victory and perhaps if they had been a little taller or more experienced or–

"The court was just a few meters away… the smell of salonpas everywhere… Everyone's cheers… the balls and the lights…" Bokuto continued, a smile growing on his face, "I had missed all this. The thrill of competition. Even though it was a different level from what I'm used to… but it was all _so close_."

He extended his arm, and grasped air, as if he could still see the court, as if he could grab a ball and get to play.

Tetsurou couldn't help but smile, his heart beating in trepidation, impatient to play to represent Japan for the U21. It had been so close, stepping on the court and playing.

"Someday soon… it'll be us…" He said.

Bokuto nodded vividly, the childhood friends glancing at each other. In the seat in front of them, Oikawa and Iwaizumi who had overheard glanced at each other then silently fist-bumped each other. Ushijima, who kept his eyes closed, everyone assuming he was asleep, smiled lightly. The plane started moving, to take them home.

All their families and friends, some from high-school, had come to greet them at the airport. The hall turned into a loud mess of volleyball players and their families.

Bokuto wasn't letting go of Ayaka, face buried in her neck, his disappointment now really showing. Disappointment to have missed the chance to even prove his worth, not even getting to play on the court, against these amazing players.

Shiori, and Tendou, had come for Ushijima, and talked excitedly with Oikawa while Iwaizumi and Kiku were grasping as much time together as they could have.

"Tetsurou!"

He turned around and smiled, even though he was too tired, numb and disappointed, for his smile to reach his eyes. He went towards his mom, Kenma, and even Oshiro Ken was here. He fell into his mom's arms.

"I'm so proud of you!" She exclaimed.

"I didn't even get to play…" He answered, pulling away, frowning and expression darkening, "We made so many mistakes and that last match, we could have–"

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm proud of you even if you didn't play! You were wearing the Japanese jersey, Tetsurou! Honey, it's so amazing!" Miki continued, eyes shining with tears of pride, "I remember you watching these players as a child, how much you admired them and vouched you'd be a part of the team someday…"

He flushed a little in embarrassment to have such memories mentioned when his friends, and his possible-future-step-father, were here…

"I never doubted you, but… but seeing you there, on tv… I'm so proud of the man you've become! You can't imagine!" She exclaimed, tears finally rolling down.

"She recorded every single match and printed out the few times you and your friends were shown," Ken added.

" _Ken!"_ Miki exclaimed, embarrassed.

Tetsurou chuckled just as Kenma spoke up, smiling:

"The team and I watched every match with Nekomata. He's very proud too, you know. And I'm proud too that my best friend got to realize his dream. The one for which you dragged me out for times and times again since we were kids…"

"It made you breath some air, it did you good and… you don't regret playing volleyball with me, right, Kenma?" Kuroo said, smirking as he knew the answer.

Kenma's smile became broader, just slightly, but enough.

"No, I don't."

Tetsurou chuckled, and his eyes wandered over the crowd. His heart sank a little. It was late at night and Akane had told him she had too many shifts at The Gem's to be able to come in time. She would go home even later than him and he was tempted to go back to his mom's house just for the night. If he didn't have his girlfriend with him, he might as well have his mom's comforting cooking.

Kenma noticed Kuroo's look of slight disappointment to not see his girlfriend.

"She'd be here if she could," Kenma said, Kuroo's eyes going back on him at once, "We watched a few matches together with Akane. She seemed very happy for you, and also she kept asking us what was happening. You should teach her some more volleyball. She complained a lot that you weren't on the court too."

It might be a stupid reaction, but Tetsurou couldn't help and smile at the mention of his Akane, together with his former team, discussing the matches and whining about his absence. With everything that has happened without quite happening before he left, he had been worried about Akane and her well-being. Knowing that she had spent time with the Nekoma team, or with his friends' girlfriends (because obviously they had gathered to watch the matches of their men) was reassuring.

"Thanks, Kenma. For watching after her while I was gone." He said with a smile.

Kenma nodded calmly, just as they heard running steps, followed by a voice Tetsurou recognized instantly – he had missed it so much. Hearing it over the phone wasn't the same.

"Tetsurou!"

He turned around at once, attention at its peak and he immediately saw Akane running through the crowd of the airport. Her hair was a mess, her make-up had been taken off in a hurry and he was quite certain that her shirt was inside-out but _Akane_ … it was Akane and he had never felt so much love for her. He fell in love all over again to see her running for _him_ through the airport, to see her accelerating when their eyes _met_ , and the way she jumped into his _arms_.

Tetsurou let out a growl, which for everyone around seemed like it was caused by the powerful impact of their bodies meeting so violently, but he immediately buried his face in her neck. He was growling to feel again her warmth against him, to smell her sweet scent covered by sweat, make-up and alcohol from The Gem's, to have her arms trying to crush him into her, her chest heaving against his own from her running… After all his worry, stress, disappointment, whether it concerned the Championship or not, having the woman he loved in his arms sent a wave of reassurance, comfort and peace so violent that he almost wavered. His eyes teared up and he made sure to hug her closer, so he'd have time to compose himself – even though he was so overwhelmed by the sheer feeling of _her_ that he couldn't even think about it.

It took a moment for Akane and Tetsurou to remember that they were at the airport and in public, but it felt as if they were the only ones on Earth.

"H-how! I-I thought you were working?" Tetsurou asked, shaking his head in disbelief as he passed his hands over her face and hair to make sure she was real.

Akane laughed, delightfully, to have his hands over her face once again and it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. They were both grinning like fools as she answered:

"I exchanged a few of my shifts with coworkers and the boss drove me here!" She explained.

And as happy to see her as he was, Tetsurou's heart missed a beat and his smile wavered. The boss of The Gem's, Kuwahara Nori, Akane's biological father even though she didn't seem to acknowledge that… and whatever had happened to Akane, that man was involved and she had been the "victim".

"I couldn't stay away when I knew you were returning home tonight, so I decided at the last moment to go to the airport." Akane continued explaining.

"Home…" He murmured.

She looked up at him, blinking, then flushed, nodding lightly.

"Y-yes… Tokyo, with… me…"

Her voice trailed off as she looked away in embarrassment, cheeks turning redder.

His eyes widened when he realized what she meant by it – it must have slipped her if she said such a thing in public and now she was a blushing mess but…

 _Home. Akane_. That made sense. It was the only thing that mattered actually…

"Right, home…" He echoed, leaning down to hug her again, closing his eyes.

She was a little tense before relaxing in his arms. A few seconds later, she pulled away, and perhaps partly to hide her lingering embarrassment, but mostly to express how much she had missed him, Akane cupped his cheeks and pulled him down, kissing him passionately, to which he answered feverishly, despite his jet-lagged exhaustion.

Kenma promptly looked away, pulling out his phone and Ken looked up respectfully, before slowly dragging Miki away – and leave the kids with a little bit of intimacy. Well, as much intimacy as there can be in an airport hall, at least…

After a week or so of rest for the team, even though they kept in shape by working-out and playing volleyball together, they went back to their usual rhythm. Practice everyday, training occasionally, practice match every once in a while… along with their studies. Before they knew it, the freshness of fall had arrived and the trees were wearing their golden and red coats.

"Hey, Kiku-chan will bring cookies to us tonight, Shiori might come too, you wanna come watch me practice?" Tetsurou asked Akane when they exited their classes.

"Mmm, I think I'll pass. We have some free time for once, and I don't have to work tonight either. So I'll rest and study a little at home." She answered, turning towards him and looking him up and down, "Also, if I go watch you practicing… I'll be way too hot and bothered to let you walk out of that gymnasium until we've had a few rounds."

"All the more reasons to come then," he answered, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows.

"As I recall, there aren't that many hiding places and your teammates didn't appreciate us taking so much time and being so loud last time." She answered, completely unbashful about that ~last time~.

Tetsurou looked like he was about to argue but she went on her tiptoes, kissing his lips lightly.

"Also, I wanted to cook you something."

He grinned, even since they had been together, Akane had started cooking – not everyday, not as amazingly as Kiku or Shiori as she was still learning, but she was doing better and better and kept surprising him with new dishes every once in a while.

"Now I know I won't waste any time after practice to join you and your wonderful cooking as soon as possible~" He answered, leaning down to kiss her.

"Kuroooo! Akane-chan!"

He froze a few millimetres from her lips just as Bokuto and Ushijima arrived, the first one clapping his hand on the middle-blocker's shoulder and the second nodding as greeting.

"Hey, hey! We're going to practice together, remember?" He said – the three had taken the habit of going together to practice if their school schedules allowed it, usually in Bokuto or Ushijima's cars.

"I _know_ , it doesn't mean I can't properly say goodbye to my girlfriend," Kuroo answered, wrapping his arms around Akane possessively.

"Right, right! We'll leave you two alone then, don't take too much time! We need to get Oikawa too today!" Bokuto continued with a warning look in their direction.

Tetsurou sighed deeply, making Akane chuckle. She leaned up, kissing his cheek.

"Practice well, don't overwork yourself, kitty," she said.

"You too," he answered as she walked away.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him, kissing her lips fully. She smiled into the kiss, leaning against him and putting her hands against his cheeks until they were out of breath and had to go their separate ways.

Akane stopped by the groceries store to buy what she'll need for that dish she wanted to prepare for Tetsurou. She went home, throwing the keys on the side table, a happy hop in her steps as she dropped her bags and took off her jacket and shoes.

"He's cute."

She jumped upon hearing a voice, then she froze hearing _that_ voice. She stopped breathing and turned around, seeing her human trash of a stepfather sitting on her bed, as if he owned the place, and caressing _her_ cat, NeKo.

"You should have told me that you wanted a pet," he continued, looking up at Akane who felt ice run through her veins, fear and anger making her shake.

He sounded almost sorry he hadn't thought of it, of her wish for a pet – but she knew that what he had really said was _"You should have told me you wanted a pet to sympathize with, being one yourself"._

Akane didn't say anything, the silence getting longer and heavier.

"Get out of here." She hissed but her voice shook.

"We need to talk," he said calmly, unaffected by her tone of voice and the way she stared at him.

Akane stepped away when he stood up. Her steps were hesitant, shaky, she was stepping away out of panic as he calmly walked to her, making it painfully slow to torture her more. He knew how to get under her skin and make sure she'd become nothing but a useless puppet, a pretty, empty doll.

She was stopped when her back hit the counter and sink. Her hands went behind her back, blindly reaching for whatever she could use to defend herself and she almost sighed in relief when her fingers closed around a knife. She put it forward, lifting it weakly, but it made him chuckle. He stopped from getting any closer though, that was good enough.

"Really? You're trying to threaten me with a butter knife?" He asked, raising an amused eyebrow, "We both know that you don't have it in you to stand up to me, or anyone for that matter. If you really wanted to kill me, you would have done so years ago while I was sleeping."

Akane remained stubbornly silent, not wanting to answer to his jests, the way he was tempting her in getting angry and attacking him – but she knew better, and she knew that her fear of him was stronger, rooting her legs to the ground and making her useless.

"Akane, everything I did was for you and I understand that it was hard, but in the end, we had a good life. All thanks to _you_ , and for that I'm eternally grateful, my little rose." He continued with a genuine smile, his arms spreading to show he was unarmed and only had benevolent intentions.

"Get out of here…" She breathed, clenching the knife tighter but she knew she was about to drop it from how much she was shaking.

He stared at her in disappointment. Disappointed she wouldn't be grateful, listen to him, make some efforts so they could _communicate_.

Akane suddenly felt like calling for help – but she didn't know if there was anyone around, and her voice was stuck in her throat. _Tetsurou_ – but she'd have to reach her phone, in her bag, near the door. Maybe if she ran over there–

Without thinking straight, she surged for the door but her stepfather had seen it coming and easily grabbed her arm, stopping her. She shrieked, lifting up her other hand but he grabbed her wrist and twisted it enough that she'd drop the knife with a painful gasp. She stopped struggling, but he was still holding her still, looking down at her, into her eyes – his eyes were dark, so dark, like a pit of nightmares she couldn't escape…

"I'm only trying to help you, Akane. Look where you're living, it's all tiny – do you even eat enough? Do you still work for Nori? I haven't seen him in a while, I have no idea how you're doing and–"

"Get out of here!" Akane shouted, struggling against him once again, in a desperate attempt for escape, "Leave me alone! Go away!"

"Will you stop making it harder?!" He snapped.

Before she could see the hand lifting up, she was slapped across the face so hard she fell on the ground. He had let go of her arm, but Akane was on the ground, trembling and helpless, her short hair falling all around her face, hiding her eyes filled with tears of fear and pain.

He sighed heavily, shaking his shoulders and turning around, looking at all her furniture, that she was certain he had looked over many times in her absence.

Akane remarked that NeKo had had the sense to go hide somewhere safe, she was relieved but she didn't have the strength to fight back anymore. She was on the ground and her stepfather was in her small flat, invading the entire space. Her safe space, the one she had created for herself, the one where she loved cuddling with NeKo and Tetsu… and now it'd be just a reminder of _him_.

Her stepfather stopped in front of the little shrine destined to her mother, staring at her picture.

"You look more and more like her. It's a shame you can't smile more, she was so lovely you know."

"…And you destroyed her… you _killed_ her!" Akane exclaimed, feeling like she was burning.

He turned towards her, looking… surprised by her words – not shocked or hurt, just surprised she'd dare say such a thing to him, the man who had taken care of her after her mother had passed away.

"What killed her was this damn disease! If it weren't for _that…!"_

He clicked his tongue, turning away then back at Akane, pointing an accusing finger at her:

"Your father never even acknowledged you, he never cared for you! Unlike _me!_ I did everything for you! The least you could do is give back what you and your mother took from me! And I'm here to remind you that you haven't paid your debt yet. So you'd better make an appearance soon – you know where I am, right?" He said with a wicked grin, "If you don't…"

He glanced back at the shrine, the picture of Saito Mizuki. Then his eyes went to the three candles, unlit, lined up in front of the portrait.

"These candles aren't for her, right?" He said in a knowing, dark voice.

The tears finally rolled down Akane's cheeks. Her silence was answer enough.

Her stepfather made his way back towards her, still as calm as ever. He stopped right next to her, looking down at the trembling figure on the floor. She lowered her head, in shame and fear.

"Show up on Friday night. If you don't… I'll do something about that boyfriend of yours who is distracting you too much."

Akane froze, panic beating through her entire body. Her stepfather walked out of the apartment, but she barely heard. His words kept resonating in her head, she didn't want to imagine what sick idea he'll have to 'do something' about Tetsurou – it meant he knew about Tetsurou. Who he was, his identity, where he lived– she couldn't let this happen but it meant going to that wretched place next Friday. She had sworn she had left this life behind, she didn't want of this, she didn't want to–

She looked up and realized that he was gone. She was all alone in her apartment once again, except for NeKo who shyly came out of his hiding place but didn't dare approach Akane.

Her gaze landed on her mother's shrine, and the three candles. A whine escaped her lips, burning tears rolling down her cheeks. Before she was aware of it, curled up like a child, she was screaming and sobbing, her body writhing on the floor.

Hours later, with the sun setting down, Tetsurou came back from practice and he found her right there, crying out her soul.

"Akane!" He screamed, dropping everything and running to her side.

He tried to lift her up but she kept falling back on the floor, she didn't stop sobbing as if she hadn't registered he was here.

"Akane! What happened?!" He shouted, shaking her shoulders but her sobs only increased.

Confused, scared, Tetsurou engulfed her in his arms, glancing around and trying to understand while she slowly calmed down in his arms. It could have taken only a few minutes – the time for his warmth and comforting words to soothe her after hours of breaking down – but it felt like _hours_ for Tetsurou who was aware of every shake of her body, every sob ripping out her throat, every beat of his heart that squeezed in pain when more tears escaped her red eyes.

"Akane… what happened?" He asked in a breath when she had fallen silent and limp in his arms.

He kept caressing her back, hands running up and down, trying to make her feel safe.

Akane's lips trembled and she shook her head, unable to talk. Tetsurou swallowed hard, still staring in emptiness as he continued comforting her, his heart heavy.

He had no idea what had happened during his absence, what had caused Akane to break down like that… but the one thing he did notice was the way she held onto him, all the while trying to keep him away, and her continuous glances towards her mother's shrine that always sent a new wave of despair over her. He glanced around, at the shrine, nothing was amiss, NeKo was fine and at their side, mewling worriedly and pawing at Akane and Tetsurou.

His mind wandered back to The Gem's, that day he met Nori, Akane's biological father and the striking resemblance of Akane with that little girl, the resemblance that had caused him to think of a frightening possibility that he didn't have the courage to mention to Akane…

He was suddenly painfully aware of the three, out of place and tiny candles that stood in front of her mother's picture.

"What happened to you…?" He whispered, burying his face in her neck, and deep down, they both knew that he wasn't solely referring to what had happened during his absence in the afternoon.

* * *

 _The U21 competition will be detailed in Oikawa's fanfic (soon), and the drama is starting for AkaKuro. ;)_

 _I hope to hear your thoughts!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	25. Heart-Break

_Here is the new chapter! I'm in a Kuroo-mood so I don't write much for Oikawa, sorry! "_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :)_

 ** _PLAYLIST'S SONG: Cry baby – Demi Lovato ; Dusk till dawn – Zayn and Sia ; The end of all things – Panic at the Disco_**

 _ **Valen Goncalvez** : Thank you for the review :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XXV : Heart-Break

" _Insecurity is the worst sense that lovers feel. Insecurity twists meanings and poisons trust."_

— **Graham Greene, The End of the Affair**

" _I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me."_

― **Veronica Roth, Allegiant**

" _Holding people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear."_

— **Sarah Dessen**

" _You're easy to read… but the whole book of you is complicated."_

— **Amy Engel, The Book of Ivy**

" _A wounded heart seeks shelter in a heart that it can trust."_

— **William Chapman**

" _Give me one reason why I shouldn't love you,_

 _And I'll give you ten more that show I always will."_

— **Amanda Vegas**

" _We are at the edge of an abyss and we're close to being irrevocably lost."_

— **David R. Brower**

" _I thought about how love was always the thing that did that - smashed into you, left you raw. The deeper you loved, the deeper it hurt."_

— **Wally Lamb, She's Come Undone**

" _Betrayal. It's one of the worst feelings."_

— **Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why**

" _What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger."_

— **Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Dir. Michel Gondry**

" _It's hard to find out you don't know a person the way you thought you did. It's hard to find out the face you thought you loved is only a mask."_

— **Stephen King, Needful Things**

" _Angry, and half in love with you, and tremendously sorry, I turned away."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby**

Tetsurou didn't move even when someone nudged his shoulder. Said-someone stopped, then after a short pause, started shaking him with an even stronger grip. He raised his head at once, hissing like a cat:

"Will you stop!?" He shrieked, glaring at Bokuto who only blinked.

"You're not answering, we wanted to know If you were dead yet," he answered, pushing him to the side to sit at the table.

"You haven't answered your messages as well, it was worrying!" Oikawa added, sitting in front of the two, Ushiwaka at his side.

"Have you eaten yet?" Ushijima asked, looking around but not noticing any tray.

"No, I was waiting for you… or death, whichever would come first," Kuroo answered dramatically.

"Did something happen with Akane-chan?" Oikawa asked.

Instead of answering, Kuroo dropped his head against the table once again. Bokuto stood up:

"I'll go get food!"

He went to order at the counter whatever they had decided to eat, and because Kuroo wasn't answering much, he picked his favourite food.

Meanwhile, Oikawa tried to pry some answers out of the Cat Captain, but he remained mostly silent.

"I argued with Akane, happy now?" He mumbled when he got too annoyed.

"About what?" Ushijima asked just as Bokuto came back eagerly.

"I… I'm not sure…" He answered, looking down.

He remembered everything that had happened the previous night after finding Akane having a break-down. Once she had calmed down, he had tried to ask her questions but she hadn't answered, going to take a bath instead. He tried to check on her, but she had locked the door and he ended up walking in nervous circles for over an hour. When she came out, puffy eyes and wet hair, he tried to ask her questions _again_ – but she said she was tired and wanted to sleep, going straight into bed. Tetsurou had lost it then. He hadn't meant to, really, but seeing how uncooperative she was being when he was _literally freaking out_ , he started screaming. She screamed back and within seconds they didn't even know what they were screaming about. He had slammed the door and taken a long bath…

That morning, when he tried to apologize to Akane, he was met by a locked door – she was already gone for her morning classes, different from his. He tried to catch her in-between classes but he kept missing her. She wasn't answering her phone either. Overall, worried and guilty, he felt like shit.

Once he had vaguely explained what had happened to the others, without knowing _what_ had actually happened, he felt a little better.

"You have a class together this afternoon?" Bokuto asked, "Just confront her and apologize if you feel bad, and then ask her some answers. I bet she doesn't feel great either."

"Y-yeah… thanks, I'll do that…" Kuroo answered, lowering his head.

"The Owlish Cupid strikes again!" Oikawa said, making Bokuto puff out his chest in pride.

"Even though just a few weeks ago you and Ayaka were almost separated," Ushijima remarked, calmly eating his rice.

"O-OI! It was just a silly argument caused by the distance! It's normal in a relationship to argue every once in a while! What really matters is to not let the bitterness overwhelm the sweetness of love!" He exclaimed.

"Umm…" Ushijima nodded, blinking.

"What a poet you are at times," Oikawa said in a voice that was light enough to be mocking but not serious enough for Bokuto to know whether he was making fun of him or not.

Tetsurou let their argument become background noise, pondering over Bokuto's words. Arguing was normal, but they just had to apologize and make it work out.

When came the dreadful time of the class he shared with Akane, Tetsurou was as nervous as he had been for his first match in middle-school. He looked around the amphitheatre, but his favourite person in the world wasn't in sight. He went to sit at their usual seats, constantly glancing at the doorway as more and more students came in and filled the ranks.

He was about to lose all hope when the teacher arrived, but his leg twitching stopped and he hit his knee on the table when he saw Akane hurrying after the teacher. He let out a shaky breath of relief as she met his eyes and came to him, hesitating before he moved to let her sit on a free seat.

She started taking out her stuff as the teacher started his class, talking in a monotone voice. The students were mostly silent, if not for the scratching of pens on paper, the typing on computers and the occasional yawning.

"Are you avoiding me?" He asked in a hushed voice at some point.

"No," she answered sharply.

He glanced at her and she grimaced, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Yes…" She admitted, "Not because of what happened last night– well, _yes_ , but… because I didn't know how to face you after what I've done…"

"Are we going to talk about it?" He asked, lowering his gaze to his notebook that he had stopped writing in.

The voice of the teacher and the sounds of the other students disappeared and it felt as if there were just the two of them. They were side by side but wouldn't dare glance at each other.

Akane felt as if she was standing on the edge of a cliff and if she didn't take a risk and jump, she'd lose Tetsurou forever.

"I _want_ to…" She whispered.

Tetsurou glanced at her, his heart clenching tightly.

"I get that it's hard, even if I don't know what it's about… But it's _so_ stressful– I-I feel like I'm going to lose you soon and I _hate_ it. I feel like you're just smoke and I can't hold onto you and it's driving me _crazy_ … I want to help you, _please_ …" He breathed.

Akane turned her head towards him, eyes shining with unshed tears. Her lips trembled and she struggled to find anything to say… There was nothing she could answer to that, but without realizing it until it was too late, she stammered her heart out:

"I love you…" She answered.

He breathed shakily, opening and closing his lips but before he could find any words – not that there was anything to answer to that, not really – Akane reached out and grabbed his hand. She squeezed his hand so hard, her knuckles turned white and in a smooth motion, Tetsurou turned his hand around so he could squeeze hers back.

"I love you too…"

The words were just to express the obvious, to let out that weight on their hearts. In their eyes, and in the way they held onto each other, oblivious to the rest of the world, everything that needed to be said could be felt between them.

They barely remembered packing their stuff in their bags before they stood up and left, without even glancing at their teacher or other students. But they didn't care and they went home, expressing their feelings with their bodies. It was how it had always been between them: letting out the steam, the emotions, through their bodies, with soft touches and burning kisses. Once they had made love, and made love again, and again… and again… they felt enough peace to express their fears and hopes with words.

"I think… I'll be able to tell you everything… soon…" Akane whispered, staring at the empty air in front of her.

Tetsurou, who was hugging her tightly from behind, tensed a little. Then she felt him relax and he rested his forehead against the back of her neck, his hair tickling her. He let out a warm breath, and a smile played on her lips.

"Okay… whenever you're ready… I'm here… and… even if you don't want to talk, if you just need to cry, or have someone to hold you… I'm here… okay?" He murmured, voice smothered by her skin.

"Okay…"

Akane moved, turning around despite the tiny, uncomfortable bed, so she could face him. She rested her hand against his cheek and he closed his eyes. If he had been a cat, he would have been purring.

They loved these moments of close intimacy – not sex, but leaving their souls completely bare for one another. Messy hair, bright eyes, skin-to-skin, their hearts resonated to the same rhythm and they felt closer than ever.

"I love you, Kuroo Tetsurou…" She whispered.

He opened his eyes, reddish eyes meeting bright gold. He opened his lips to answer, but she leaned forward, her lips touching his, her soul embracing his. He kissed her back, slowly, lazily, taking the time to enjoy every inch of their skins touching.

"I love you too, Saito Akane," he answered, bringing her even closer.

She wrapped her arms around his head, nuzzling her nose into his messy hair while he buried his face into her chest.

They remained like this for hours, until the sun had made its entire journey across the wall they were sharing and over their bodies. Until the boring sunlight turned into a golden canvas that bathed them in warmth. Until the sun set and let the darkness envelop them in a tight blanket of comfort.

The days that followed were calm, tender and hot, like it had always been between them. They weren't ignoring what had happened – it was impossible, and in the back of their minds, Akane's words were never really far away _"I'll be able to tell you everything… soon"._

Tetsurou imagined plenty of scenarios, each worse than the previous one, while Akane thought of a thousand ways to explain to him before deciding it didn't sound right.

He could tell she was thinking about it more and more – Akane always seemed distracted, she couldn't focus on anything and she had trouble sleeping. He had been woken up several times by her mumbling and turning around, the nightmares becoming a constant. Now, every morning when his clock rang he was alone in bed and he'd find her in the bathroom, wet from sweating, eyes tired – or she'd be outside, smoking even if she knew he didn't like that.

"Can we talk?"

Akane looked up from her homework she had barely touched, staring a little warily at her boyfriend.

"About what?"

"You know what." He answered, sitting in front of her.

NeKo, who had been allowed on the table after long hours of meowing and purring and begging, moved to get some caresses from him. Tetsurou petted him, distracting himself for a little while.

"I don't necessarily want you to talk about what happened to you because I can tell it's fucked up and you're obviously not ready… but I don't want you to be haunted by it. Everyday you're closing up more and more, you barely talk to me about anything and I don't know how to feel about this." He started, turning to her.

Akane took a deep breath, lips trembling a little. She dropped her pen and lifted up her legs, holding onto them.

"You want me to talk and be honest with you, and then you tell me you don't want to hear what happened… make up your mind, damn it," she mumbled, unable to look him in the face.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance:

"Don't twist my words! I _do_ want you to talk – _when_ you'll be ready, but you… _you're not_ … and… you're going to force yourself to talk, for my sake, and it's very kind of you, but if it's to see you self-destroy there's no point!" He continued, lifting up his hands to the ceiling.

She didn't answer right away, passing a hand over her face and into her hair, grabbing the short strands and pulling a little until it was harsh enough to almost make her wince. She didn't, keeping a closed expression. But it was like an electrical sting, bringing her back to life and slapping her back into reality.

"I _need_ to tell you what happened! The longer I wait, the worse it'll get and I… I feel more and more like I need to talk to you… I'm scared shitless but… if I don't tell you, I'll self-destroy anyway… it'll just take longer."

She turned her face to him, her eyes bright from sadness and fright. Tetsurou sighed deeply, then put his hand over the table, palm towards the ceiling:

" _When?_ When are you going to talk to me then? I'll be patient but… help me out…" He said, lips tight.

Akane hesitated, then her shoulders dropped, as if the weight holding her back suddenly disappeared. She reached for his hand, to hold it back but hesitated then let her hand rest next to his, their fingers brushing.

"I don't know where to start," she admitted.

Tetsurou's heart missed a beat when he realised that she was talking. _Now_. He had waited for this for so long, but now he had no idea what to expect and he was as scared as he was worried.

"T-then… what happened to your mom? And who is your step-dad?" He hesitated, trying to make sense of his feelings and the words she was about to say.

Akane glanced over her shoulder, at the little shrine with her mother's picture.

"She… Her name was Mizuki, Saito Mizuki." She started, though Tetsurou already knew that much, "She was the best person I've ever met… and had the worst of life…"

"Sounds familiar," he said with a small smile, trying to lighten up the heavy mood.

Akane turned back to him, knowing he was referring to her, but even if her heart warmed up thanks to his words, there was no smile on her face.

"She grew up with only her alcoholic mother and ran away at sixteen… she… she worked a part-time job so she could keep going to high-school, she was brilliant. She wanted to become a psychologist to help people with wounds that couldn't be seen. But because she had always lived in a bad situation and didn't have any money, she… looked for help in the wrong place. She would work at night… at the Gem's."

Tetsurou blinked, he hadn't expected The Gem's to be so old…

"But back then, it wasn't owned by Nori-san yet, and the girls had… they had _expectations_ …"

He knew very well what she meant by it, considering he had been so worried that Akane had to go through the same 'expectations'. She had repeated times and times over it wasn't the case, so did her colleagues, and he believed them.

"That's where she met my father, but I don't know who he is."

 _I do_ , he thought, clenching his jaw to remain silent.

"I-I don't remember much about what she told me about him, but I think she liked him very much. That's also where she met my step-father, he was working there as a barman. His name is… he's–"

Her phone suddenly rang, startling them both. There was a moment of tense silence until Akane moved, whipping her hand to grab her phone. She tried to hold back her shudder – just as she was talking about _him_ …

The last time she had seen him, just a few days ago, came back to her mind. He shouldn't have her phone number. She should have changed her number.

" _Show up on Friday night. If you don't… I'll do something about that boyfriend of yours who is distracting you too much."_

She hadn't forgotten about his order and his threat, but she had avoided thinking too deeply about it.

"I need to go," she said suddenly.

"What? Why? Who is it?" Tetsurou asked, standing up in the same time as her.

"I-I'll tell you later…" She answered in a hushed voice, turning around to get dressed.

"Hold on– you can't just disappear after a call like that! Is it your stepfather?" He asked, reaching for her phone.

Akane's hand shot and grabbed it before he could. Tetsurou stared at her, stunned.

"What happened, Akane?" He asked, frowning, too worried to let her go like that.

She didn't answer, keeping her phone close to her chest. She turned around, pulling her jacket on.

"I'll be back by eight. I promise." She said, walking past him as quickly as possible.

"At least tell me where you're going!" He exclaimed, following her as she put on her shoes.

"I-I'm going to The Gem's…"

"After what you told me, you expect me to let you go on your own?" He asked, grabbing her shoulder to keep her from leaving the little flat, "Let me come with you–"

" _Tetsurou!_ Everything is fine!" She exclaimed, putting her hands on his chest – the way his heart was beating frantically broke her heart, "I promise it's all fine… I-I'm handling things on my own… I need you to trust me, okay?"

He didn't want to let her go, he felt that if he _did_ trust her this time, she wouldn't come back the same. If she came back at all.

"I can't…" Tetsurou said, feeling distraught to say such words.

Akane's lips opened and closed, her eyes filling with distress and her breath becoming uneven. Then, she stepped away, swallowing hard and nodding.

"Okay…" She breathed.

"Wait…"

She turned around and closed the door to his face to keep him from following her. She hurried down the hall and she knew that Tetsurou stepped out of the flat, called her name several times and made sure NeKo stayed inside… but she kept going and didn't look back. As much as it hurt, she understood why he wouldn't trust her, why he _couldn't_. She didn't trust herself either.

But just as she had said, she went to The Gem's, taking the usual back door. Instead of greeting her co-workers, surprised to see her here when she wasn't supposed to work, and instead of walking downstairs like she usually did, she went upstairs. She didn't even knock at Nori-san's door, opening it suddenly enough that he looked up with a startle.

"Akane? What's going on?" He asked, stunned to see her so suddenly and distraught.

"I… I think I need help…" She said, shaking.

He nodded gravely and she closed the door.

Tetsurou remained in the silent flat, unable to eat, constantly checking his phone. The minutes were going way too slowly, waiting worriedly for Akane to come back… And as promised, at eight o'clock, she was back. She kissed his forehead then went to take a bath, locking herself there. He didn't say or do anything, simply continued to stare at the increasing darkness. When NeKo started meowing for dinner and he heard Akane step out of the bath to dry herself, he stood up and walked out of the flat.

Akane came out of the bathroom just as the main door closed, Tetsurou leaving for all the right reasons… The tears she had hid in the bath came back and she let herself fall on the bed. She gave food to NeKo then leaned against the wall against her bed, still wearing only her bathrobe… Hours later, completely dry and shivering a little, the silence was smothering her enough that she caressed the wall. Then she knocked quietly at it.

She waited, not expecting any answer, biting on her lower lip…

But then, as quietly, Tetsurou knocked back their secrete message.

' _I love you'_ resonated and she couldn't help but smile, despite how heavy her heart felt. It meant more than a simple _'I love you'_ like back when she had started tapping against their shared wall. Now, it meant _'I love you and I'm sorry for what I did but I need a little bit of time, but I still love you…'_

The week-end went by faster than they would have wished, even though they didn't do much other than cuddle and being lazy together. The summer heat was gone, letting rain and chilly weather settle in. Cups of tea, cuddling under the covers and remaining-cozy-at-home season had started but there was something gnawing at the back of Tetsurou and Akane's minds. They couldn't relax even though they were trying to enjoy every moment spent together to their best, there was always a moment when one was looking away to escape being stared at. There was always a moment when one was absent-minded. When one was being nervous for a reason or another…

"Tetsu, hurry, we'll be late!" Akane exclaimed on Monday morning, quickly entering his apartment.

"We've got time!"

"No, we need to go soon!" She continued, leaving to go back in her apartment but she left the doors wide opened, so they could keep shouting at each other like that (their neighbours were used to it by now).

"I still haven't had my breakfast!" He said, coming out of the bathroom and shivering because of the opened door.

"That's because you spent too much time running this morning!"

He didn't answer, putting on clothes as fast as possible, as warm as possible, just as Akane entered his apartment, followed by NeKo, and carrying a tray of breakfast.

"Hurry up!" She said, gathering his books and notes for the day.

"We've got plenty of time left! Why are you in such a hurry?" He asked, sitting down and taking NeKo on his laps.

"Because, we need to go on foot because there's too many people in the underground at this time," she said, pointing at the curtain of falling rain they could see from the window (the doors were now closed to keep the cold from getting in).

"Why would we go on foot? We have the bike," he said with a shrug.

"It's raining cats and dogs! We're not taking the bike, you'll have us break our necks!" She continued, looking exasperated.

"I'll drive slowly," he answered with a shrug.

"No, Tetsurou. You are not taking the bike with that rain, understood? I'll call Bokuto and ask him if he can drop us at the university."

"You don't trust _me_ to drive carefully? But you'd rather trust _Bokuto_ of all people?" He asked in astonishment.

"He has a car, and it's not you I don't trust, but the idiots who are driving cars and aren't careful of bikers – _especially_ when they're late and _especially_ when it rains! Remember last week what happened? We were almost ran over by some asshole who didn't even slow down!"

"Which is why I will be careful while driving," he said, standing up.

She was about to call Bokuto when he put his hands on hers, stopping her from calling their friend.

"Come on, Akane, it'll be fine," he said with an encouraging smile, "No need to be afraid. Beside Bokuto is probably at the other side of Tokyo right now."

She frowned lightly as he continued:

"He and Ayaka spend all their week-ends together, remember? He doesn't have any class on Monday morning so he always drives her to Fukurodani. He won't answer right away nor be available to play driver for us. Just trust me, okay?"

He kissed her nose, then her cheeks, then her ears and her neck and she finally sighed.

"All right… But promise me you'll be even more careful than usual!" She said, poking into his chest.

"Promise," he said, kissing her forehead before going to finish his breakfast.

As soon as he was ready, that they had said goodbye to NeKo and were carefully wrapped to avoid getting wet, they went to school. Akane was very nervous because it was the first time they were driving on the bike with such heavy rain but as promised, Tetsurou was very careful and took a road that took longer but had less cars. They arrived unscathed at the university, to which he obviously gloated about for the entire way to their class. She had to roll her eyes several times and smack his arm to have him shut up about it – he obviously answered to it by pulling her against him and teasing her infinitely. For the first time in days, they were laughing when they entered the classroom.

The class went as usual, with one of their best teachers. Maki-sensei always looked tired and lost, he had a hairstyle that reminded everyone of Einstein, he was incredibly clumsy, but he had an incredible intelligence and such passion that it was hard to not be dragged in by his enthusiasm for sciences.

"Ah, Saito!" He called at the end of the class when everyone was leaving, "I have something to talk about to you, do you mind staying behind a mo–"

The papers he had been trying to put into his bag somehow escaped his hands and covered the floor. A few students chuckled, avoiding stepping on them just as he mumbled how clumsy he was. Akane turned towards her boyfriend:

"Go on ahead," she said, helping their teacher gather his papers.

"Ah, thank you, thank you, Saito!" He said, dropping a few more sheets by bobbing his head too much.

"Good luck," Tetsurou said with an amused smirk, leaving the classroom for a well-deserved restroom break – he'll wait for Akane before they'll go to have lunch with Ushijima.

By the time all the papers were gathered and into the teacher's bag, every student had left.

"All right, so… what was it I needed to tell you?" He wondered, blinking, "Ah, right! The other teachers and I discussed about the students from this year's promotion and you stand out. You work hard, you're passionate and you have a gift for biochemistry. I believe you had asked me some questions about a topic that interests you in particular?" He continued with his easy-going smile.

"Y-yes, about the chemical communication between trees," she said, nodding, "I read an article about it two years ago and I've been curious about it ever since. I-I think I want to specialise in that… that's why I had asked you questions, to know if you had any readings on the topic."

"Well, yes, have you read the articles I had sent you?"

"Yes! They were all very interesting!"

"It's still a pretty recent domain of study, but one of the pioneer in this domain is going to come to give a few classes and conferences about it. It's supposed to be for older students but I believe you should be able to keep up. Does that interest you?"

"Yes! Yes please!" She exclaimed, grinning in excitement.

"It'll be in English, he's American, you see–"

"That's not a problem at all, sir!"

"Very well, send me an email so I can send you the information – I'll forget about it if you don't send me that email…" He continued, as chill as ever.

"I will, thank you, sir!" Akane exclaimed.

"You're very welcome, Saito-san. It's rare to meet such passionate students. It's nice to have enthusiastic minds like yours."

She flushed a little and bowed down to thank him. She left the classroom, almost running to hurry to tell Tetsurou the good news. She was almost hopping, impatient and excited. Then, suddenly, coming out of a nearby, dark hall, someone grabbed her arm and she gasped, almost falling over.

Tetsurou yawned, feeling sleepy from the constant rain even if the cold was waking his mind – but not his body.

"Good day to you, Shiroo-kun," Maki-sensei told him.

"Ah, it's Kuroo, sensei," he corrected.

"Oh right, right, I keep mixing the color, ah ah!"

"It's fine."

He looked around and blinked, surprised that Akane wasn't here yet.

"Um…"

He was about to ask the teacher but he had already started walking under the rain, keeping his bag and precious research papers close to his chest instead of protecting his head. His messy hair was probably working as umbrella anyway. Maybe she had gone to the toilets but the way to the restroom was right where he was standing…

Suddenly worried, Tetsurou went back on his steps, checking on his phone for any message from Akane. Maybe she had gone the other way around because she knew he preferred the big restrooms at the other side of the building?

He froze when he suddenly heard voices in a dark hall and upon recognizing Akane's, he leaned against the wall and… he shouldn't have but… he couldn't help and listen.

"You are an absolute asshole! I can't believe you went and gave him my phone number!"

"It's fine, he didn't do anything!"

"He entered my _apartment_ , Takehiko! You knew he'd do that!"

 _Takehiko? Her ex-boyfriend/sex-friend? And who was 'he'?_ Tetsurou wondered.

"He threatened me and Tetsurou!"

"You were supposed to come last Friday, but you didn't! He wouldn't have to go to such lengths if you listened!"

"I _don't_ want to listen to him, or you! Let me live my life as I want it! AWAY from all of you, monsters!"

Takehiko laughed, an irritating, bitter laugh that made even Tetsurou startle. He could only imagine what state Akane was in – he could hear in her voice she was struggling to not cry. He was about to step in when Takehiko continued:

" _What_ life?! You're just a whore!"

Tetsurou froze, and stopped breathing, eyes widened.

"Just like your mother! Don't think you can get out of that life so easily! You really think you can be a scientist with a successful career and have a healthy love life with that boyfriend of yours? He doesn't know anything about you, he'll never accept that part of you! But I don't care– I want you back!"

"You want my _body_ back…"

"So? Isn't that all you're good for? Come on… Akane… come on, I'll pay you twice more than your usual price…"

Tetsurou whipped around and clearly saw, even in the mid-darkness, his worst fears come true. Akane was leaning against the wall and Takehiko handed her a lot of money. He couldn't see her face but– _but_ …

Takehiko and Akane must have heard him stepping because they looked up. They both looked shocked, but Akane's gaze broke.

There was a moment of long silence where they stared at each other, the weight of everything that had remained unsaid hitting them like tsunamis.

"T-Tetsurou…" She whispered.

Every beat of his heart sent a new wave of pain through his body, and Tetsurou turned around, hurrying away from _her_.

"W-wait! It's not what you think!" She exclaimed, running after him.

He continued forward, stubbornly ignoring her cries. He went out under the rain and didn't even react when the cold drops of water hit his face. It felt like stinging, ice-cold needles, but it was nothing compared to the destruction of his heart right now.

"Tetsurou, please!" Akane exclaimed, grabbing his arm.

He whipped around, pulling his arm away from her so suddenly, she gasped and covered her face. But he wouldn't hit her, he never could because he loved her so much – but because he loved her with all his heart, her lies and betrayal hurt even more…

"You had said… you said you weren't a whore! You said you weren't doing any of this!" He exclaimed, voice breaking while his eyes filled with burning tears – a sharp contrast with the ice all over his body and the bleeding of his heart.

Akane opened and closed her lips, her eyes red, her face streaming with drops of water – from the rain and the tears…

"I… I can explain… it's… it's all behind, it's in the past, I swear!"

"You _lied_ to me…" He hissed, "I could handle you hiding the truth– but _you lied!_ You know how hard it is for me to trust anyone after all the lies that Kohaku _had_ –"

He turned his head away, hiding his tears and clenching his fists and jaw so hard it hurt.

"Don't talk to me ever again…" He said in a low voice, his heart breaking all over again to say such words…

Akane's heart missed a beat, feeling like the ground was opening under her to swallow her whole.

Lightning flashed above their heads, thunder resonated.

And Tetsurou left, without looking back. He had fallen in love with Akane, times and times again, with warm summer rain and thunder electrifying the air. But now, the cold autumn rain and the terrifying thunder were the echo of his heart and trust breaking all over again.

* * *

 _The (expected) truth is out, what story will she tell? If Tetsurou listens?_

 _Tell me what you think, please!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	26. Hope

_Hye! I'm a little late for Kuroo's birthday, November 17th, but the new chapter is here! I'll try posting the next chapter asap but it's one of the most important one so I want to take the time to really work on it. But in the end, posting the chapter 3 days too late is nice because I discovered last night the PERFECT SONG for this chapter, and one of the most fitting snog for these two._

 ** _PLAYLIST'S SONG: "Monster in me" - Little Mix ; Perfectly Wrong – Shawn Mendes ; Sober - Demi Lovato_**

 _Thank you for everyoe who reviewed, favorited and followed! :D_

 _ **Swimming Trees** : Well, I had promised angst haven't I? This chapter is a transition one, and next one you'll know the truth._

 _ **Valen Goncalvez** : Thank you!_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XXVI : Hope

" _You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same."_

— **Fannie Flagg, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café**

" _Diagnosis: heartbreak. Still alive, barely breathing."_

— **Unknown**

" _Sometimes two people have to fall apart, to realize how much they need to fall back together."_

— **Colleen Hoover**

" _I still remember how it felt to be loved by you. Completely intoxicating and consuming, you left me wanting more. I still remember how it felt to lose you. Like my happiness would forever be a distant memory."_

— **Kristie Betts**

" _You've got to fall in love, fall out of love, no matter how much it hurts because my god, it's worth it."_

— **Emily Palermo**

" _I am sorry someone loved you badly, and that they made you feel like you take up more space than you deserve. I am sorry they abandoned you when you need them the most and it has made you believe that love is an awful thing that hurts."_

— **Nikita Gill**

" _How strange is it that after all that, we're strangers again."_

— **Unknown**

" _I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. There has to be a way. To care for the wounds without reopening them. To name the pain without inviting it back into me."_

— **Lora Mathis, If There's A Way Out I'll Take It**

" _Can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?"_

— **Jodie Picoult, Nineteen Minutes**

" _What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?"_

— **Vincent van Gogh**

" _Hope is the thing with feathers_

 _That perches in the soul_

 _And sings the tune without the words_

 _And never stops at all."_

― **Emily Dickinson**

Akiyama Kiku was running under the rain – her umbrella had just broke and her jacket could only protect so much of her clothes. She couldn't wait to be in the cafeteria, in the warmth and with a comforting cup of tea in her hands.

Most students were hiding in the buildings, so the few that were around were noticeable. Especially when the silhouette that walked by her was almost running, letting out a whining sound… and his hair was a mess.

"Kuroo-kun!" She exclaimed, turning around.

Thinking he hadn't heard her and that he was hurrying to avoid the rain, she went after him and grabbed his arm. He whipped around at once, tearing his arm away from her so suddenly she startled. He didn't even seem to recognize her and immediately continued, running away. From his own tears and pain.

Shocked to have seen the big, snarky middle-blocker, looking completely broken with his eyes red, Kiku remained a moment stunned. Before she could think about what might have happened to turn him into such a mess, she turned around and noticed a silhouette through the curtain of rain. That silhouette wasn't moving and she had a bad feeling about what might have happened.

Not caring anymore about the rain, Kiku ran to the silhouette, who was crouched down into the mud and grass, sobbing herself to death.

"Akane!" She exclaimed, recognizing the familiar, short hair.

Kiku jumped to her side, trying to force her up:

"What happened?! What's going on?!" She exclaimed, noticing that Akane seemed even more distressed than Kuroo had been.

The question sent Akane into a new wave of sobs, warm tears running down her face.

"I-it's going to be fine! What…" Kiku hesitated, drawing her for a hug.

She looked around, but there was no one else. Taking off her own jacket, she covered Akane's head and forced her up, pulling her towards the closest building. A guy walked out of it in the same time, without even glancing at the two girls. Once away from the rain, Kiku tried to dry Akane's face and tears with some tissues, but she didn't stop crying – her sobs had ceased though.

She dialled the only person she knew was on the campus right now – Ushijima immediately answered, as if he had been waiting for a call.

" _Yes, Akiyama-san?"_

"Ushijima-kun! I'm so sorry to bother you but… Akane is a bit of a mess, do you have your car? I think she needs to be taken home right now…"

There was a moment of pause, Kiku heard the background noise of the cafeteria.

" _I was waiting for Kuroo and Akane to come to have lunch with me. Did something happen?"_ He asked, his voice surprisingly squeaky over the phone.

"I-I think… I don't know, they're both… they're both a mess, but Kuroo-kun left already…"

"… _I'm on my way."_

A few minutes later, still not knowing what had happened, Ushijima arrived with a big umbrella. All three of them moved to his car and after many thanks, Kiku took Akane to her flat.

"Go take a bath to warm you up, then we'll talk," Kiku said with a smile, even though she was even more soaked.

Somewhat calmed down by now, Akane turned around, eyes still red, and nose sniffing.

"…What about your classes? You should have gone back to the university with Ushiwaka…"

"My friend is more important than one class. Half of the students are going to skip it because of the weather anyway." She said with a shrug, "And I'm certain that right now, Ushijima-kun is telling the rest of the team to watch out for Kuroo-kun and figure out what has happened. I walked by him before seeing you and he was a mess…"

Akane turned away, more tears burning in her eyes.

Kiku noticed this reaction, wondering yet again what had happened but before she could ask any question, the short-haired girl hid in the bathroom. Kiku sighed, before leaning down to caress NeKo.

Akane made a bath and soaked into it, not really caring if her skin turned red from the sudden, scalding water. She buried her face in her knees, haunted by Tetsurou's face. That look of utter betrayal and deep pain hurt her as if her heart was being torn apart.

" _You_ _ **lied**_ _to me…"_

" _ **What**_ _life?! You're just a whore!"_

" _He'll never accept that part of you."_

" _Don't talk to me ever again…"_

Akane looked up, wishing that instead of all that hurt, she were just numb. She didn't have any more tears to shed, nor energy to sob. Her eyes fell on nearby razors, and the first aid kit that had some bottles of pills and various medicine… She stood up, the water falling off from her.

In the living-room, Kiku heard Akane move out of the water. She listened carefully:

"Akane-chan?" She called.

No answer.

Knowing too well how dark one's thoughts can get when you were feeling wretched and destroyed, Kiku stood up to check on Akane. She knocked on the door, calling her, then opened the door. She gasped and ran when she saw that the stupid girl was trying to swallow pills she shouldn't have.

"What are you doing?!" She shouted, slapping the bottle of pills out of her hands.

Akane made a whiny sound before gasping when Kiku slapped her cheek. The slap had been so violent that Akane fell down on the floor and looked up, stunned, at Kiku:

"What do you think you're doing?! Are you mad?!" She shouted, gathering everything that might be dangerous for Akane.

"I… I…"

"Do you think that things will get better if you kill yourself?! It _doesn't_ , believe me, I've tried!" She continued, voice almost hysterical.

Akane stared at her and Kiku swallowed hard. She hadn't told any details of what had happened to her to anyone – only Hajime and Oikawa knew. Akane and the others knew it had been tough but… not to that extent.

"I've seen what it does to people when you try to kill yourself – how much it hurt my parents… I don't want to be on the other side of the hospital bed you know… I don't want to see a friend being so desperate that, instead of turning to me or any of her friends, she'll choose death instead… It's never the right choice, Akane…"

Her voice was softer, compassionate, a little sad… Kiku took another towel and wrapped Akane with it.

"What happened to drive you to such an act?" She asked gently, without any hint of judgement in her voice.

"…He _knows_ … Tetsurou… knows… He knows the truth!" She answered, voice quivering.

"What truth?" Kiku asked, but Akane's voice didn't seem to hear and her voice was smothered when she buried her face in her knees once again.

"I-I was ready to e-explain to him, b-but he found out… before I could explain anything…! Now he hates me… he… he doesn't want to see me ever again…! I… I've lost everything, just because I… I was too scared to tell him the truth earlier…"

A sob strangled her and Kiku, not quite understanding anything other than she was too hurt to talk, drew her for a hug.

"Kuroo-kun isn't stupid, he's hurt now but… I'm sure he'll understand you have a story to tell. He'll listen, he'll understand."

"But… he'll never accept my past…" Akane whispered into the girl's shoulder.

"You can't know that until you've told him everything." Kiku said with a smile.

Akane didn't have much hope, but she didn't say anything. It would require too much strength to argue with the most positive and hopeful girl she knew.

Under the cold rain, Tetsurou walked, almost ran to his moto, climbing it and immediately going through the streets at maximum speed, not caring about the rain or how much it slid. He couldn't stop seeing the same scene over, and over, and over again – that guy calling Akane a whore and handing her money. It flashed with Akane's panicked, hurt expression.

"Damn it…" He mumbled under his breath, shaking his head to blink away the burning tears and the raindrops that were blinding him.

He looked up just as a car appeared out of nowhere. He braked and turned suddenly, not breathing as the wheels slid on the water. The car honked and continued forward, miraculously avoiding him. He let down his leg to not fall over and breathed hard. Shaking like a leaf, he leaned forward, his arms resting against the handles and letting his head drop.

Raindrops cold as ice slid down his neck and face as he closed his eyes tightly.

" _Promise me you'll be even more careful than usual!"_

" _Promise."_

" _It's not what you think! Tetsurou, please!"_

" _I'm waiting for you to be ready to open up… and once you do, I'll choose you all over again."_

" _ **Promise."**_

Another car honked because he was blocking the way and he slowly moved, starting the engines again. This time, he drove carefully, holding back his flows of emotions from drowning him.

He arrived in front of his house and rang several times, when he saw his mother, surprised to see him unexpected and so shaken… he broke down in sobs.

"T-Tetsurou…?"

She immediately took him in her arms and even though he craved the comforting warmth of his mom, it wasn't enough to melt the ice that had taken over his heart.

It took him hours to calm down, take a bath and feel comfortable enough he'd tell his mom what had happened. She listened to him with tight lips, sighing when she heard the words that were so difficult for Tetsurou to utter… Once he was done telling what had happened, she remained silent a moment.

"You thought a few times that she might have done dangerous things, and that she might be doing other activities than waitress at The Gem's, right?" She asked in a gentle voice.

"Y-yeah b-but… she said… she said she wasn't doing that… I belie– I _trusted_ her…" He said, his voice rough, "But she lied too… she…"

"Do you know why Kohaku-chan lied to you?" Miki asked, tilting her head on a side.

He frowned and shrugged, looking down then around, uncomfortable to talk about his bleeding heart:

"Because she didn't trust me, she didn't want to talk about her parents divorcing. Because she didn't open up and tell me, she… we fell apart…"

"And do you know why Akane-chan lied to you?" She asked again.

Tetsurou opened and closed his lips, but couldn't find a proper answer. Why lie when she was… when she didn't want to, when she wanted the two of them to work, when she _knew_ it'd hurt him…

"She didn't want to hurt you with the truth," Miki answered for him.

"…It… it hurts anyway…" He said in a broken voice.

"Because you learned it in a terrible way, but you don't know the circumstances. Maybe… maybe if you talked to her, she would tell you the story behind this, and you would understand why she hid it from you."

She paused carefully, then glanced back at her son:

"Why don't you try talking to her? Listen to what she has to say?"

The very idea of seeing Akane again was making him sick, the idea of talking about her whore-business was driving him mad. He couldn't face her, not now… it was too soon, he was too hurt…

"No…" He whispered, hiding his face in his arms.

"It's okay, take your time to think about it, and talk with her." She said with a smile.

" _I'm waiting for you to be ready to open up… and once you do, I'll choose you all over again."_

Tetsurou decided to hide in misery in his former home and it didn't take long for Kenma to come over.

"I was surprised when your mom told me you were here and depressed. I would have expected you to cry with Akane instead."

Tetsurou looked up at him, completely distressed, his eyes shining with tears. Kenma immediately understood why he was depressed and cursed himself for being so insensitive…

"Something happened with Akane… isn't it?"

Tetsurou looked down, somehow managing to look like he curled up on himself despite his lankiness… Kenma kept his lips tight and sat next to him. Tetsurou didn't have the heart to tell him everything – it was a thing talking open-heartedly to his mom, but it was harder with Kenma when the high-schooler held in high-regard Akane. But even if he tiptoed around what he was revealing, Kenma barely seemed surprised when he understood the truth…

"I… I suppose she's always been a lone wolf back in high-school and there were all these rumours about her…"

"That she was fucking everyone who went to ask her? Somehow she never got labelled as 'whore' though…" He answered, huffing even though it broke his heart.

"I don't think this Takehiko guy was talking about her high-school activities…"

Tetsurou glanced at Kenma curiously. Takehiko wasn't from Nekoma but he was the same age and it wouldn't be surprising if Akane had had affairs with people from other schools – Tetsurou _had_ , after all. He had assumed that being a 'whore' applied to all the sexual activities she was indulging back in high-school, with other high-schoolers…

"You said that The Gem's appears at first to be a shady place, right?" Kenma asked him, his sharp eyes piercing as he tried to understand the truth about Saito Akane.

"Yeah but… I know now that it's _not_. It's not just Akane but everyone working there is doing okay, they're not doing any shady stuff, and… the boss… I can't figure out what sort of guy he is, but he wouldn't let Akane do that… She's… she's his daughter…"

Kenma _did_ look surprised this time, his eyes widening slightly. Once again, he started thinking – Tetsurou could see the wheels of his brain working to pierce the secret.

"If she got into a shady business, but it wasn't high-school, nor The Gem's… how did she end up selling her body? Didn't you say that she has a difficult relationship with her step-father?"

Tetsurou closed his eyes, burying his face in his knees.

"She hates him…" He breathed out.

"…Maybe you should listen to what she has to say, after all… There's something you don't know about her and learning whatever it is… it might hurt you even more, you might stop loving her but… if you just let her go without listening to her story, you'll regret it…"

He had been so hurt, he had been too confused to think straight about anything. He had even forgotten about her step-father. But… Kenma was right. There was something he didn't know yet about Saito Akane and if he didn't learn what it was, it'd tear him apart, probably not as much as knowing the truth. But… he couldn't live without knowing the truth to her lies.

"She still lied…"

"…I know…"

"It still hurts…"

"I know…"

"…She still chose that path, you can't be… you can't be called a whore without choosing to…"

His voice was raspy, from his emotions or too many tears, he couldn't tell.

Kenma put his hand on Tetsurou's shoulder, before speaking up calmly:

"Just because we choose a path, it doesn't mean it was from our own freewill."

There was a pause, Tetsurou slowly raising his head, staring in emptiness…

"And…" Kenma added, "She might have lied about some part of her past but… I know that her feelings for you weren't a lie."

A memory came back to Tetsurou. Akane smiling with her eyes shining beautifully as she whispered _"I love you"_ , both entangled in bed sheets. It was such a warm, happy memory… There was no way it had been fake. And as much as it hurt to think back on their past happiness and their break-up, there was… Tetsurou couldn't help but _hope_. It was like a weak, beaten bird, vainly trying to shake its wings to fly but… but it was here. It was alive.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. The two Nekoma boys looked up, just as Bokuto entered, a little wet from the rain and looking bewildered:

"What happened, Kuroo?! Ushiwaka sent a message to everyone saying you were running away, we've been looking for you and you wouldn't answer your phone! Kiku-chan said Akane-chan is a complete mess! And then I receive a message from Kenma telling me you're here! Your mom let me in and said you needed us, just what is happening?!"

Tetsurou and Kenma both felt a little taken aback by the sudden loud voice and the non-stop talking:

"What happened? Damn it, we were so worried! Especially when Kiku-chan said Akane-chan tried to hurt herself – she said she was worried for you! I know you're not the type of guy to kill yourself or anything but–"

"Wait… what? What happened to Akane?!" Tetsurou exclaimed, standing up suddenly.

He still cared.

Gods, he still cared so much. Even if she had broken his heart, he was still desperately in love with her.

"She… she tried to do some stupid stuff… Kiku-chan is with her though, but she refuses to talk. So? What happened?"

Tetsurou let himself sit back on his bed, his two friends staring at him worriedly. He was pale, definitely a mess himself.

"You came with your car?" He asked, looking up at Bokuto who raised an eyebrow.

"Hell yeah I'm not gonna face that storm on foot, are you mad?" He answered, pointing at the dark weather outside.

"Can you drive me to my place… to wherever Akane is? I… I think I need to talk to her… about everything…" Tetsurou managed to say, looking down, feeling fragile and unsure.

"Do you want us to stay with you?" Kenma asked, sensing his childhood friend's hesitation.

"…No… I-I need to face her on my own…" He admitted, swallowing hard.

Kenma and Bokuto glanced at each other. The latter understood even less – he had no idea of what had happened, after all – but he just shrugged:

"Love hurts, it always does. But it also gives you more hope than anything else." Bokuto said with a smile.

Tetsurou looked up, and he felt that bird of hope flutter a little more.

Bokuto drove Tetsurou to his apartment complex, accompanying him to Akane's little flat. They entered it after a knock, Kiku was the one to open. She glanced over her shoulder at Akane who sent a quick, wary look in Tetsurou's direction. She immediately looked away and he kept his gaze focused on the ground.

Kiku gathered her stuff then pushed Bokuto out of the apartment, leaving the two alone. Without a word, Tetsurou walked to her bed where she was sitting against the wall. The one she had tapped against so many months ago to secretly tell him that she loved him. He sat on the edge of the bed, without looking at her.

"I'm listening," he said in a quiet, careful voice.

* * *

 _Next chapter, all the flashbacks! A bit of a depressing arc for Kuroo's birthdaybut well..._

 _I don't know how amny chapters will follow to conclude the story but, I'm telling you right now my future ideas of fanfiction without promising it'll actually be written or published: 1) Fantasy AU 2) Miraculous Ladybug AU. Tell me if you're itnerested! ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	27. Beautiful Mess

Finally, her story. A story that too many girls in this world have in common. It's a very long chpater with lots of quotes in the beginning.

Thank you for everyone who favorited, followed and reviewed!

 **Valen Goncalvez** : Thank you! :)

 **Swimming Trees** : Kiku being a mom is the truest thing to say about her character lol. I love writing her and I love her interactions with others, how she manages to keep them safe when they don't know they do need someone to wtach over them.

 **LuxKlara** : I had forgotten you had already read some chapters of BD! I'm glad to re-hear what you thought of the first chapters before you caught up! I feel like ever since you've been back ni the fandom and we've been talking again, you've only binge read and binge watched everything Haikyuu! x) I'm sorry about that? XD Kuroo and Akane both need some time after that, for themselves, to understand and center themselves before considering whetther they want ot get back together or not (but yu know the conclucsion of the story) After this chapter, hopefully, the scene with the pills from the previous chapter will make more sense. Another of my ff called a "rollercoaster" - I'm very proud! ;D

 **PLAYLIST'S SONGS** : Woman's World – Little Mix; Gods and monsters – Lana del Rey ; Beautiful Disaster – Jon McLaughlin

 **WARNING: Mentions of drug use, rape , forced prostitution and child abuse**

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

CHAPTER XXVII : Beautiful Mess

" _I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."_

— **Pietro Aretino**

" _Girls struggles with mixed messages: Be beautiful, but beauty is only skin deep. Be sexy, but not sexual. Be honest, but don't hurt anyone's feelings. Be independent, but be nice. Be smart, but not so smart you threaten boys."_

— **Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls**

" _Adolescence is when girls experience social pressure to put aside their authentic selves and to display only a small portion of their gifts."_

— **Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls**

" _He was supposed to protect me from bad guys but instead he was the bad guy. He was supposed to make me feel safe, but he was the reason why I jumped out of my bed when I heard a door close. He was supposed to see me as his own child but that didn't stop him from creeping in at 3am as everyone was sound asleep, to steal the soul out of me."_

— **Unknown**

" _It was never about what he did to me. It was about what he took from me."_

— **Sandra Lidell**

" _This is what I miss… Not something that's gone, but something that will never happen."_

— **Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye**

" _And she distanced herself just enough so she was out of reach. Eventually, people stop making the effort."_

— **Unknown**

" _Her soul was beautiful, but nobody cared."_

— **Sophia Carey**

" _A little bit of attention and kindness can totally change a whole life, and a lack of that can do the same."_

— **Adrien Brody**

" _Sometimes I think she was a different person to everybody. Sometimes I knew her. Sometimes I didn't."_

— **Gia (1998), Dir. Michael Cristofer**

" _People will stare. Make it worth their while."_

— **Harry Winston**

" _If you're good at something, never do it for free."_

— **The Joker, The Dark Knight, Dir. Christopher Nolan**

" _After awhile you could get used to anything."_

— **Albert Camus, The Stranger**

" _The truth is not always beautiful, nor beautiful words the truth."_

— **Lao Tzu**

" _Loving someone shouldn't make you hate yourself."_

— **Daren Colbert, Mirror**

" _I never stopped loving you. Not even for a second. Even when I hated you."_

— **Charles Sheehan-Miles, Just Remember to Breathe**

" _Maybe it's true that we don't know what we have until we have lost it, but it's also true that we don't know what we're missing until we find it."_

— **Anonymous**

" _The most beautiful things are damaged in some way."_

— **Lang Leav, Sad Girls**

" _The only mystery I never solved was… why my heart couldn't let go of you."_

— **The Illusionist (2006), Dir. Neil Burger**

" _It's hard to hate someone once you understand them."_

— **Lucy Christopher**

" _I saw you, I loved you, but now I miss you, and I still can't speak because I know you hate me."_

― **Mya Waechtler**

" _This is why people touch. Sometimes words are just not enough."_

— **Nicola Yoon, Everything, Everything**

" _I love you more than I hate everything else."_

― **Rainbow Rowell, Landline**

 _Nekoma middle-school, first-year…_

Saito Akane felt her heart beat excitedly as she finished the calculations, scribbling down on her paper just as the teacher asked what was the answer. A boy from her class started lifting up his hand to answer but hers shot up to the ceiling, attracting the teacher's attention.

"Saito-san, yes?"

"The answer is five!"

Everyone mumbled that it had been impossible while the teacher blinked, impressed that the young girl had found the right answer so quickly when they had barely started this lesson today.

"R-right, the next question then…"

She continued but her voice became background noise when Akane felt an intense stare, she turned to her left and noticed the boy who had tried answering before she had. Kuroo Tetsurou was his name, if she recalled well? He had messy black hair and his golden eyes were widened in awe as he stared at her.

Akane blushed at the attention and looked away, her long black hair hiding her reddened cheeks. She heard him ruffle around and she timidly glanced from behind her curtain of hair. He had turned away from her, hiding his face in his arms, the tip of his ears red in embarrassment.

Her heart beat faster and she had to suppress a smile.

After that, she started noticing him, this strange boy who wasn't as shy as she was but wasn't as outgoing as others were. He was playing on the volleyball team and he was very passionate about the sport – but he was also very good at sciences. They didn't get to talk though, they only occasionally glanced at each other when they crossed path in the hallways or when they were both trying to answer in the same time. There was a spark of competitiveness between them but it was always making them smile and excited, encouraging them to do more and better. They never worked as lab partners though, the teacher always chose another classmate for them to work with and secretly, they wished they could be paired up – just so they could talk.

Akane's life had been very good when she was a child, then, after her mother's death, it became just… life. Akane was seven years-old when Saito Mizuki passed away because of a sudden, incurable disease – she didn't remember the details and everyday, she made sure to look at her mother's picture so she wouldn't forget her face. But she was starting to forget the sound of her voice. For as long as she remembered, she had had her stepfather around – but she knew he wasn't her biological father, Mizuki always made sure to remind it of her.

" _Your father is a good man, but he didn't get to choose his life. That's why he was forced to stay away from us. That's why we're staying with your stepfather, Akane. He's good to us, you'll understand when you'll be older."_ Was what Mizuki always said when Akane asked her questions about her biological father.

Even though Mizuki never shared his identity, or the details of who he was or why he had left, every time she could answer one of Akane's question about him, she would answer with a sweet smile and sparkling eyes. That was the image of love Akane grew up believing in.

Her stepfather hated that – that he was, after so many years, still in the shadow of Mizuki's true love, Akane's real father. It took many years for Akane to understand who that man really was.

 **Ueda Hiroko**.

It all began on a summer rainy day in her first-year of middle-school – but she would regret coming home that day only years later when she would look back on how twisted her life had become.

She went home and announced her return, but only silence answered her, like always. After her mother's death, the apartment had gradually become darker and less and less welcoming. Hiroko-san was rarely there, and if he was, he would be playing cards and drinking with his friends, betting more money than they had – they were often doing that at night regardless of whether she had school the following day or not. She was doing most of the house chores and often found the house a complete mess. It was normal though – it had always been like that, and Hiroko-san made sure to remind her that he was welcoming her in his house and it was her duty as step-daughter to help out when he was bringing money and food. She was too young to understand yet.

She started gathering the various snack wraps and alcoholic beverages she could find and started cleaning up everything until she heard creaking noise in another room. It was coming from Hiroko's bedroom, she hadn't realized he was home. Then, from the silence she started hearing his voice, growing louder and angrier at every word.

"I don't care! I'm– I'm doing everything I can! I know, I know! I'll pay, I swear!"

Suddenly worried, Akane approached the bedroom, as silently as possible and glanced at what was going on through the slightly opened door. He was pacing around, pulling at his hair – there were more cans of beer scattered on the floor, he was red and had been drinking.

"Don't talk to me like that! You're only getting such good business thanks to me! Don't get arrogant, asshole!"

More angry pacing. Akane was as curious as she was worried, wondering who he was talking to, and what it was all about.

"It'll be paid! I swear!"

He stopped the call and threw the phone on his bed before slamming his hand against the closest wall. Akane startled and gasped, loudly enough that he heard and whipped around.

"Akane?! What the fuck are you doing here?!" He shouted, his face red.

"I-I'm sorry! I just… I thought…"

She walked backwards as he approached her, pushing the door open and lifting up his hand but he didn't hit her even if she was frozen in fear.

"It's all because of you! You and your mother! It's all your damn fault if there are so many debts! If only the bitch hadn't died and left you on my hands!"

Akane's eyes widened even more, her breath stopping in her chest as he kept shouting:

"What are you still doing standing there?! Get useful! Go away! Do something! You're as useless as your mother!"

He moved to push her away, so violently she stumbled on the floor. He was stepping towards her when she stood up and ran towards the door. She opened it and saw three dangerous looking men who were waiting – they looked down at her, surprised to see a child but she ran past them, burning tears in her eyes. She ran and ran, ignoring the rain biting at her skin. She was too scared and the atmosphere of this house was too smothering. What had happened? Why did he say such things about her mother? Her mother… her mother was the best person in the whole world, the kindest and warmest soul she had ever encountered. What was happening?!

Exhausted, soaked and cold, Akane finally slowed down and slumped down, hiding her face in her knees. She cried silently, and let the cold rain soothe her soul. She was shaking when suddenly, she heard a light tapping sound. Raindrops against an umbrella. She looked up, stunned, just as lightning struck through the sky. Her reddish eyes, turned metallic from the lightning bolt, met Kuroo Tetsurou's. His amber eyes seemed to be a melting gold from the lightning. They both seemed stunned and flushed when their hearts sped up, to the rhythm of the thunder.

That was it. That was the moment, the defining moment of the beginning of their relationship, whatever it would become, even though they were still kids who didn't know what was happening in their hearts.

 **Coup de foudre**. Lightning strike – love at first sight.

Akane would never forget that feeling, and she would never cease to feel this way for Kuroo Tetsurou, even in the darkest times.

"Do you… um… are you okay, Saito-san?" He asked awkwardly, trying to make sure both of them wouldn't get wet from the rain.

"I'm…"

She wiped her nose and eyes, and looked around as if realizing that despite her sudden fears and incomprehension, the world had kept spinning.

"I'm fine…" She said, even though she wasn't sure she knew what it meant.

He hesitated, going from one foot to another, then spoke up again:

"I live nearby, you– you'll get sick if you stay in these clothes… um, do you live faraway? Do you… uh, do you want to come home with me? You could… warm up and… I have some fun games to play or… something…" He said, sheepish and blushing.

Akane didn't remember saying yes, but she still ended up following him in his house. His mom wasn't here, but he handed her some clothes while her uniform was drying. She didn't remember much of what had happened that day, except that they talked awkwardly, blushed a lot, and awkwardly almost kissed. She had forgotten all her troubles and loneliness, in the little time she had spent with Kuroo-kun. But when her uniform was dry and they had awkwardly gone through all the possible topics of discussion crushing middle-schoolers could do, she left. Kuroo-kun lent her his umbrella and her heart beat fast and happy all the way to her home…

Then it just beat fast out of worry of what she'll find. The door wasn't closed, she pushed it lightly and looked around, but except a few glasses and books thrown around, nothing was amiss… She suddenly remembered the men she had run into as she had left…

"Hi-Hiroko-san?" She called lightly.

She found him in his bedroom, curled up, beaten up and crying. She gasped when she saw the bloody cuts and bruises all over his body, but what really hit her was the way he was sobbing while holding her mother's photography against his chest… Not knowing what to do, she went to get the first-aid kit and with trembling hands, she attempted to clean him up. When he realised what she was doing, he cried even more.

"I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" He sobbed, but before she could answer he continued, "It was all for you… it was all for you, Mizuki, I'm sorry…"

Akane's heart missed a beat when she realised he was talking to her mother. He repeated a few "I'm sorry" before staring at Akane through one black eye and the other blurry from tears…

"Akane… why… why are you doing this for me?" He asked, voice raspy.

"Because… I have no one else…" She murmured, avoiding his gaze.

"You look so much like her…" He whispered, caressing her black hair, then he forced the young girl into a hug, "I'll make it up for you – both of you, I swear… It won't happen again, I swear…"

She wasn't sure what he was referring to, but… she only nodded.

After that, there was no more accident for a while. He was still drinking and betting too much money with his friends, but he was back to ignoring most of her existence. He was often shouting on the phone, talking about debts and money he owed but Akane always escaped the house when that happened, regardless of the hour.

She often went to see Maki Keiko – she was almost like her grandmother, Mizuki and Akane used to visit her every week-end. It became more difficult after Mizuki passed away, but Maki-san never stopped taking care of the young girl or welcoming her when she needed.

Sometimes she stayed at Nekoma middle-school and would watch the volleyball practice, hidden in a corner of the gymnasium. No one seemed to know she was here except maybe Kuroo-kun's friend, Kozume Kenma, who always turned his head around and saluted her even if she shouldn't be seen. Kuroo-kun and Akane were already in their second-year in the same classroom, but their relationship hadn't changed since the first-year. They were still blushing and awkward around each other, except when they were paired up as lab partners. _That_ had changed and it was nice to spend time together.

For another year, nothing happened despite Akane's growing sense of insecurity, but she learned to deal with it.

"AKANE!"

She pushed herself away from her homework, unable to ignore Hiroko-san's calls. She arrived in the living-room and saw him, sitting at a round table with his friends. The room reeked of alcohol, cigarettes and various greasy snacks but she was used to it. They were playing cards, betting money – again.

Akane blinked when she noticed a man she didn't know – he seemed calm and casual compared to the others. When she arrived in the room, he turned towards her and seemed completely shaken, reddish brown eyes staring at her, completely stunned.

"Go get us more beers, and put new ones in the fridge so it can be fresh!" Hiroko barked, too focused on his cards to even glance at her.

She turned her attention back to him, but the mysterious man didn't stop staring at her.

"And some more snacks, Akane-chan!" Gorou-san, one of Hiroko's regular friends, chirped.

She went into the kitchen, hearing their loud talk as she gathered what they had requested.

"Oi, focus Nori! Getting starstruck by little Akane-chan, eh?" Gorou asked teasingly.

"Don't be ridiculous. I didn't expect to see her here, that's all." Nori answered – his voice was as calm as his behaviour, "She looks so much like her mother, it was a surprise."

"Eeeeh… she does, doesn't she? What do you think Hiroko?"

"Ah? Yeah… She looks like her. Got her brains too."

"You've got yourself a nice daughter! Pretty, intelligent and _mostly,_ helpful in the kitchen!" Gorou exclaimed with a laugh.

"She's not his daughter."

Akane was surprised by the sudden, hard tone coming from Nori. She glanced over her shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of the man but he was moving his cards to figure out which one to play next.

"Right… still a pain in the ass though… What stupid idea I had to marry Mizuki back then…" Hiroko mumbled, "Now I'm stuck with her daughter to take care of."

"Come on, it could be worse!"

Akane put everything on the tray, just as Hiroko's voice rose again:

"AKANE! THE BEERS DAMN IT!"

She startled and hurried to the living-room, setting down everything on the table. She didn't notice Nori-san staring at her, not the other men who were giving her a new attention after their little discussion.

"You really look more and more like your mother, Akane-chan~!" One of them said, eying her from head to toe.

"And you're starting to have really nice curves~!" Gorou added.

She wanted to ignore them but just as she passed by him, he slapped her behind. She gasped, jumping forward, turning red and burning in shame. She turned to him but he, and the others laughed. Only Hiroko and Nori remained silent.

"What do you think you're doing?" Nori asked, frowning.

"It's just a little feel! Nothing wrong with that!"

"She's a kid, calm down you pervert," Hiroko said, without looking like he cared anyway.

"Still, too bad she's not older~! I'd pay to have a taste of that~!" Gorou continued, leaning to keep staring at Akane as she hurried in the safety of her bedroom.

No one noticed Hiroko's eyes lifting up, a new, twisted light appearing in it, as an idea formed in his mind.

At the end of the evening, when they were leaving, half-drunk and full with food, Akane started cleaning up so she wouldn't have to do it the following morning.

"Oi, don't leave without paying your part of the evening, rascals!" Hiroko growled as Gorou and another left, too drunk and busy singing to care.

He clicked his tongue just as Nori, every gesture calm and elegant, took out his cheques. He wrote on it quickly, then gave it to Hiroko.

"My part of the evening," he said.

Hiroko's eyes widened.

"THAT– what the– this is…! Are you… sure? This is way too much…"

And yet, his greedy eyes had lit up and his fingers had tightened around the cheque. If Nori noticed, he didn't seem to pay it any attention.

"Don't mind it. It's the least I could do." He answered, glancing quickly at Akane.

She blinked curiously but he quickly turned back towards Hiroko who was still eying the fat number on the cheque.

"We had such a good waitress tonight, after all. Make sure to treat your daughter right. She seems like a brilliant child, you're very lucky."

"Y-yeah… yeah, yeah…"

Hiroko accompanied Nori to the door.

"Will you come back next week?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and wishing Nori could be a regular with such cheques.

"I don't know yet, it'll depend on how things turn out."

"Okay. Door's opened any time. Y'know the deal."

"Yeah, good evening, Hiroko."

He paused at the door then turned towards Akane, bowing lightly with a smile.

"Good evening to you too, Akane-chan. It was nice meeting you."

"O-oh, nice meeting you too…" She answered awkwardly.

Nori left, so much more polite and elegant compared to the rest of the bunch.

"Who is that?" She asked Hiroko.

"Oh, an old… acquaintance."

"I never saw him before joining your card plays."

"His wife didn't let him leave the house – he's in the middle of a divorce now. That's why he needs to let out the steam with us… I'm gonna sleep."

Akane continued cleaning up but before he left the room, he stopped and stared at her.

"Oi, what size are you?"

She blinked at him, surprised by his unexpected question.

"Size? You mean… clothes?"

"Yeah."

"I… I don't know, it depends… but I like slightly bigger, comfy clothes. Why?" She asked, still stunned.

"Nothing."

He left without another word.

She didn't think twice about it and for over two months, nothing happened. He was still organising his card parties with the regular bunch – Nori-san only came twice and Akane had too much homework to afford being curious. He had known her mother and she wanted to ask him about her. Life continued as it had been until now. Boring and grey except for the light of her life.

"Saito-san!"

She turned around and saw Kuroo-kun run to her, he almost tripped as he arrived to her level but she pretended she hadn't noticed.

"Yes, Kuroo-kun?"

He glanced down to the ground, flushing a little then back to her – he had grown taller than her and his shoulders were starting to get wider too. He was growing into a handsome man and there wasn't a moment when upon seeing him, her heart wouldn't happily flutter. Just like it was doing right now – the joyful melody of first love…

"I-I was wondering… y'know, there's a science exposition at the museum and uh… well, there is going to be a special event with astronauts from the NASA on the very first day, and stargazing in the evening… I was thinking maybe… maybe we could go together?"

Her eyes widened, her heart beating faster.

"Is this… is… are you asking me out on a date?" She asked in a low, almost shy voice.

He blushed, eyes darting around. He was rigid, so awkward and sheepish – it was endearing.

"W-well… if… it… um…"

"Because I'd love to go with you, Kuroo-kun," she said, cutting off his torture.

"Really?!" He exclaimed excitedly.

She nodded vividly and he seemed about to scream in joy before calming down.

"T-then, let's meet in front of the museum! At 2pm!" He continued.

"Yes, but Kuroo-kun… that event is in three weeks, you know?" She answered, chuckling.

"A-ah! Uhm! I was… I'd like to be prepared! And I wanted to make sure you wouldn't… go with someone else… who would have invited you… before me…" He stammered, eyes staring at the ground.

He blushed even more and she blushed too.

"There's no one else I'd want to go with, but you. So, in three weeks, in front of the museum, at 2pm?"

"Y-yes!"

"Kuroo! Practice is about to start!"

He saluted Akane then ran after his teammate, a huge, happy grin on his face. Akane smiled to herself then continued her way. As if there would be anyone else but him… Three weeks from now – it'd be on Valentine's Day and… maybe she would confess for him? The feelings she'd held precious for the last three years? But what if they went to different high-schools?

She bumped into someone and apologized, he man grunted but looked down at her. At the curves he could guess under her uniform. She shivered and quickly continued her way.

" _And you're starting to have really nice curves~!"_

She wasn't stupid and she had noticed the way men – whether they were her flushed classmates from middle-school, or old men in the streets – always glanced at her. Not at her face, but her curves even if she tried to hide them. Now she couldn't go out in the streets without feeling uncomfortable, always a little on guard and glancing over her shoulder because she always feared what that shadow she could see on the ground could mean.

Only Kuroo-kun ever looked at her face…

The days went by, Tetsurou and Akane shyly greeting each other despite the teasing laughs of their comrades or teammates. The days turned into weeks where Akane didn't see much of Hiroko, busy for "business" or so he said the rare times she saw him.

Akane was looking through all her clothes, trying to find something pretty for the following day, for her date with Kuroo-kun, when a knock at her door startled her. She turned around and saw Hiroko standing there, and holding a big box.

"Yes?" She asked.

"I…"

He looked at her hesitantly, then looked away and put the box on the bed.

"I'm taking you somewhere nice tonight, to eat dinner… I bought you that dress for you to wear. I hope you'll like it."

"We're going somewhere?" She repeated, blinking in disbelief – the last time it had happened must have been before her mother's death –, "For what occasion?"

"Just… like that. I got a big paycheck this month so… we're celebrating. Your mother… used to wear clothes like that, with make-up and everything… I thought it'd suit you considering how much you look like her." He said, glancing at the photography of Mizuko with Akane as a child – he wasn't on it though.

She glanced at him but he turned around, saying he'll wait for her to be ready. She turned back towards the box, opening it and pulling out a beautiful red dress. She held it up, smiling joyfully – it was a beautiful dress, she could even wear it tomorrow for her date!

She put it on, even if it was a little too tight, then applied a little make-up like her mother used too. When she looked into her mirror, her heart missed a beat, feeling like she was seeing her mother once again. Smiling and glad that things seemed to be turning out for the best, she joined Hiroko-san and they left the apartment.

He drove for a while in silence and Akane didn't dare speak up, despite the occasional glances in her direction. She almost told him that the following day she would go out, but she didn't want to be asked questions and talk about Kuroo-kun. It didn't seem right to talk about him, or their almost-relationship to Hiroko-san, or anyone else for that matter.

"Where are we?" Akane asked when they got out of the car.

"Someplace I know, it's owned by a friend…" He answered, walking straight towards a backdoor.

Akane looked around worriedly. They were in the back of a dark street, there didn't seem to be anything relatively close to a restaurant around. It smelled of alcohol, vomit and dirt… She didn't like this place and she was suddenly regretting following him so blindly.

"Come on, Akane! Hurry up!" Hiroko called, startling her.

She hesitated, staring at the man who was holding the door and gesturing to her to hurry up… She took a hesitant step forward, almost turning around and leaving, but… he was her stepfather, she could trust him. If he was taking her here, it must have been safe. She didn't have to worry.

She followed him, warily, as they went down some stairs and arrived in a series of rooms, all closed. It seemed to be the back of some restaurant or showroom of sort and she started feeling reassured when they followed corridors with bright lights. They must have entered the backdoor of a restaurant she hadn't noticed or something. There was nothing to worry about.

"Come on, hurry up! They're waiting!" Hiroko exclaimed, suddenly grabbing her arm and pulling her harder.

She struggled on her short high-heels, almost running to keep up with him, eyes widening.

"W-who? Who are waiting for us?" She asked.

He didn't answer. There was nothing to worry about, _right?_

She was about to pull her arm away from his tight grip when they stopped in front of a door, Hiroko knocking. She looked around frenetically and noticed a huge man clad entirely in black at the other side of the hall, blinking at her. But before she could wonder who that was, and where they were, the door opened and Hiroko pushed her inside.

She stumbled and looked up, seeing three men wearing suits, and looking _rich_. They looked at her from head to toe and she immediately tried to coil on herself, feeling shaky and objectified. She was suddenly too aware of the shortness of her dress that she desperately pulled on, of its tightness that showed the curves she wished she hadn't. She lowered her head, unable to meet their gazes and using her hair to hide her red cheeks and teary eyes.

"We were getting impatient, especially when Gorou kept going on and on about the girl," one of them said.

Akane looked up, finally recognizing Gorou as one of the men. He grinned at her, lifting up a glass of wine in her direction as salutation.

"She took a long time to get ready, sorry," Hiroko answered.

"Aaaw, she made herself pretty for us then? How sweet…" Another said.

She could only see glinting eyes and perverted smirks. The men were hot and dark and behind her stood a cold wall called Ueda Hiroko. He kept a hand on her shoulder, gripping it tightly to keep her from running.

"There's food and wine, make yourself comfortable, Akane-chan~!" Gorou called, approaching the two of them.

He tried to give a glass of wine to Akane but she turned her head away and refused to let go of her red dress. She had felt so pretty earlier, but she was regretting it so bitterly now.

Gorou dropped his cheerful demeanour, turning towards Hiroko who was pale and kept his jaw as tight as the grip he had on her shoulder.

"You didn't tell her, right?"

"…No, I didn't…" He answered in a breath.

Akane looked up, frightened, just as the men continued their exchange, ignoring her discomfort and fear.

"Good, it'll be funnier that way," Gorou said with a bad smile, "Like we agreed, we pay you half the price now, and half after we're done with her."

"…Yes."

Akane wanted to ask questions, to understand what was going on but her voice was stuck in her throat. She looked at the two other men who didn't seem surprised by the words, only grinned at her. She looked back at Gorou and Hiroko but her vision became blurry – from tears. She couldn't breath, she didn't dare utter a sound in fear of attracting their attention even though they were devouring her with their dark, lustful appetite.

Money was exchanged, going from Gorou's hands to Hiroko's. Akane swallowed hard, finally noticing the big bed covered in red and black velvet.

"No…" She breathed, taking a step backwards as she understood what they were paying for.

She hit Hiroko just as Gorou took her arm.

"No! Please!" She shouted, turning around to look up at her stepfather.

He looked down at her, his expression dark and his mouth set into a thin, glooming line.

"Just do what they ask. Be nice." He said and after a last tremble of his hand, he let go of her shoulder, slightly pushing her towards Gorou.

"NO! Please! Hiroko-san! I-I'll do anything else you want, but don't… don't let them…!"

Her voice broke as the tears spilled from her eyes.

Gorou pulled her towards the bed but she screamed and tried to jerk her arm away – his grip was too strong. She tried to hit him, with her hands, her feet, kicking and screaming but Gorou kept smirking and the two other men just chuckled.

"She's got a fiery spirit – I like that!"

"Just as you said, Gorou! She'll be great!"

"NO! PLEASE!"

She turned around, seeing her stepfather, stuck there, watching her struggle but not moving a muscle.

"Hiroko-san! _PLEASE!"_

One of the two men put a hand on Hiroko's shoulder, startling him.

"You can leave her to us, now. Here, a bonus."

He pushed more money into his hands and pushed Hiroko towards the door, already turning towards Akane.

He didn't even glance at her, turning around. She stared at him, finally silent as she realised that he was abandoning her in this pretty, dimly lit room. He had paid her off to some strangers so they could have sex with her. He was her step-father but he had sold her away in the most disgusting way.

"HIROKO!" She shouted, voice shaking in pain and rage as the door shut.

Despite her struggle, her arms already red, Gorou finally managed to get her to move towards the bed.

Hiroko remained standing at the other side of the door, still hearing Akane struggle and scream. He felt like throwing up, his heart beating hollowly in his chest. He glanced over his shoulder but the weight of the money in his hands – more than he had had in months – convinced him to take a first step away from the door. Then, another, and gripping tightly the money, he hurried to get as far away from these screams as possible.

He felt so haunted by Akane's screams, her fear-stricken expression, the raw and complete look of betrayal on her face – it flashed with Mizuko's smile and that made him sick. He was aware of the way he had betrayed Mizuko, her trust in him, as much as he had betrayed Akane, _but he had no choice, he had no choice, he had no choice_ … The smile he had adored, that he had fought for, the woman he had married and loved, and now… _now_ …

He bumped into someone and looked up, seeing some bodyguard who was frowning darkly at him. Then, stepping out from behind him came Kuwahara Nori, staring at Hiroko, stunned.

Hiroko stopped breathing, remembering who owned this building – but he was supposed to be away! Not _here_ today!

"Yori just told me a man had arrived with a young girl to join Gorou and his friends. What's going on?"

"N-nothing…" Hiroko answered.

"Where is the girl?" Yori asked in a dark voice.

They finally seemed to notice the muffled scrams at the other side of the hall and they turned their heads towards it, turning pale. Nori's expression fell, his eyes turning dark.

"Hiroko– who is the girl you brought them?" He asked in a low, dangerous voice.

Hiroko didn't answer, staring at the floor and Nori whipped towards him, pushing him against the wall violently:

"WHO IS THE GIRL SCREAMING FOR HELP?!" He shouted.

Yori, following his boss' silent instruction, immediately hurried towards the door, as all three heard the screams getting higher and more panicked.

"You know who…" Hiroko mumbled.

"How could you…" Nori hissed, as Yori tried to open the door.

"Boss! It's locked!"

"Go get a key! Hurry up!" He shouted, Yori running back from where he came, "HOW could you do that?! It's Mizuko's daughter, you asshole! How could you?!" Nori shouted, shaking Hiroko violently.

Clenching his jaw hard, Hiroko grabbed his wrists, forcing him to stop and looking right into his eyes, his own gaze burning:

"SHUT UP! You don't know what it's like! You don't know what happened! You weren't here, you were _never_ there so don't act all fatherly towards her _now!_ Ever since Mizuko died, the money hasn't been enough, I don't have another choice!"

"She's your stepdaughter! How could you do that?! Why didn't you ask for money?! Why didn't you look for help instead of buying more alcohol and more drugs?!"

Hiroko startled guiltily as Nori continued:

"You think I don't know you're a drug-dealer to make money? And _failing_ at that?! What did you think? That you could just sell your stepdaughter's body to make up for it?!"

"You think I _wanted_ that?! They– they're paying good money! If I can't pay back with that money, they're gonna kill us both! Akane and I! I don't have a choice!"

"You're the one who failed them! Akane and Mizuko! How could you?!"

"I KNOW THAT! But if you go into that room and stop them, Akane is gonna end up a pile of ashes like Mizuko! That's all you'll have left of her!"

Nori's fist flew into his jaw and Hiroko fell on the ground hard, the money spilling out on the floor.

"You are _disgusting_ …" Nori hissed, hurrying towards the door to try and run it down.

Akane's screams broke his heart and every step was faster, more hurried, more desperate to help her. Hiroko looked up, his jaw already turning black.

A sudden, high-pitched scream, filled with pain, from the body as much as the soul, tore through the air.

Both Nori and Hiroko froze, feeling like Akane's scream had clawed at their souls and hearts.

Silence resonated. No more screams from the girl who had no reason to fight anymore.

Yori came back with a keyring, but he stopped when he noticed Hiroko on the floor and his boss staring helplessly at the door from which no more sound came out anymore.

"You're gonna try and stop it now? It's too late…" Hiroko said, his lip bleeding.

"Boss?"

"…Just… open the door…" He breathed, lowering his head in shame.

Hiroko swallowed hard but started gathering his money, hoping that Gorou and the others wouldn't make a mess.

It took agonizingly long minutes for Yori to find the right key and open the door, and even longer for the discussion to be over with. The three men, including Gorou, were forced to get dressed and go away – they were forbidden from entering any of Nori's places from now on.

No sound was heard from Akane who remained curled up on the bed and no one, not Yori nor Nori and even less Hiroko, had the courage to go to her, not knowing how to help.

Yori dragged Hiroko up then brought him into Nori's office.

"Why did you come here? This place belongs to me and it should have been closed!"

"…Gorou said he'd wait here and would leave the backdoor opened… He said you let him do his business here…"

Nori paced in angry circles in the room.

" _Business_ – yeah! But I had clearly told him that if he could meet business partners, he wasn't allowed anything shady! No drug, no girls, no nothing! I fought for the last fifteen years to get all of my places to stop being such a disgusting place! My girls are under my protection and don't receive the treatment their predecessors had! No drugs, just pubs with night shows! Nothing bad!"

Hiroko laughed bitterly, looking up at the man with a disdainful smirk:

"You're cleaning it all up because of Mizuko? Tch, you didn't even know that Gorou was doing all of his drug and whore business in your very own place…"

Nori looked like he was about to hit him again but Yori intervened:

"Sorry, boss. I should have intervened when I noticed them in the hall."

"None of us knew Gorou was doing that sort of stuff here – you couldn't know it wasn't his usua– his _allowed_ business… You did well to warn me anyway…"

Yori still looked guilty – far more than Hiroko at least.

The door suddenly burst open and a beautiful woman came in:

"Nori! What happened?! I received a message from Yori telling me there was trouble!"

Nori blinked, surprised to see her here but Hiroko looked even more shocked.

"…Yoko?" He called.

The woman whipped towards him, just as stunned to see him.

"Hiroko? What…? What's going on?" She asked, turning back towards Nori.

Before he could explain though, Hiroko started laughing:

"You really have a thing for depraved women, it's pathetic Nori! After Mizuki, now Yoko? I thought those two were best friends! After one you fuck the other? Is this why your wife asked for a divorce?! Because she was tired of you fucking the same whores?!"

Nori and Yoko both glared at him, while Yori cracked his fist threateningly. With his size of a giant gorilla, his punch would hurt a lot more than Nori's – enough that he wouldn't be able to talk anymore.

"I asked for the divorce, so I could marry Yoko. Now shut up, you asshole!" Nori hissed before taking Yoko's arm and pulling her away, "It's Mizuko's daughter. She's… downstairs. That guy… that bastard paid her off… to Gorou and two of his friends."

Yoko, who had known Mizuko since they had been teenagers, who had been by her side until Hiroko moved her away, didn't need to know what had happened – she understood at once. Without a word or a glance, she ran downstairs. It didn't take her long to find the room where Akane was still hiding.

She hadn't moved a muscle ever since the men had been pulled off her, her body was cold but she didn't dare move anything. She was burning inside, she was in pain and she couldn't tell anymore if it was her body, or her soul that hurt more.

Yoko went to a stop when she saw her, curled up in the red bed. She felt like seeing herself from all these years ago.

Swallowing hard, she took a cover and went to the bed, covering Akane up. She startled at the warmth and eyes firmly closed, she trembled and whined.

"Ssssh, it's okay… you're safe, now…" Yoko said.

She caressed Akane's hair until she stopped crying and when the girl moved a little, she took her in her arms, keeping her cocooned and as safe as she could. She let her cry all the tears from her body and soul, until Akane remained limp into her arms. Yoko thought she had fallen asleep, but when she moved, Akane straightened up a little. She went away from Yoko's arms and tightened the cover around her.

Her resemblance with Mizuko struck Yoko. Then, she realised that the reason why she had recognized her as Mizuko was because she had seen this expression on her best friend's face too often…

"You're Mizuko's daughter…" Was all she could say, "I… the last time I saw you, you weren't even two years old…"

Akane, despite her trauma and fuzzy mind, looked up at the mention of her mother.

"…Who are you…?" She asked, her voice croaked from all the screams and tears.

"I'm… I'm Yoko. I am– I was your mother's best friend, we worked together and… now I am with Nori-san. This building belongs to him but… what happened to you, shouldn't have happened at all."

Akane kept staring at her, eyes filled with fear and pain, not caring about what _"shouldn't have happened"_ because it was too late.

Yoko swallowed hard, knowing very well how she felt right now – confused, scared, lost, suspicious of everything and everyone. Akane had lost her virginity but also her pride, her spirit and her capacity for love – all in such short minutes for men, but it felt like endless pain for women.

"You're safe now," Yoko said and she didn't have to look at Akane to know that the girl didn't believe her.

She would never be safe – not anymore. She hadn't been ever since she had grown up enough for men to look at her like an object of pleasure. That was all she could ever be from now on.

"Is there… what can I do for you? Is there anything you want? I'll bring you clothes, do you want something to drink or eat?" Yoko asked.

Akane's body remained tense but she lowered her head, hiding it in her knees.

"I want to go back in time…" She whispered, voice smothered by the cover.

Yoko's heart broke into pieces.

"…And never be born at all…" Akane finished.

Yoko looked away, remembering the day she had accompanied Mizuko to the doctor and how, even though Mizuko hadn't wanted to keep the child… the moment she had seen that black and white freckle on the screen, heard that tiny heartbeat… Mizuko's heart had melted and she had loved her baby ever since. There was no one Mizuko had loved more than she had loved her daughter…

Yoko went to get her some clothes, and tried to make her eat and drink, but Akane refused anything. She only put on the clothes, pulling them on. When she stood up, not long after her rape but it had felt like hours, she felt weak and trembling.

Yoko brought her up to rest but they heard Nori and Hiroko arguing. Even if the older woman tried to pull her away, Akane stopped in her tracks and looked behind her back, from where the voices were coming from. Then, without a word and ignoring Yoko's calls, Akane went into that room, opening it without hesitation. The voices instantly shut, and the two men looked at her with wide eyes – Hiroko apprehensively, and Nori guiltily.

"A-Akane… h-how…" Nori hesitated.

He was completely ignored by Akane whose red eyes just stared at her stepfather.

"Why?" She asked in a raspy voice.

Hiroko opened and closed his lips, seeing what he had done.

She was holding closely the cover around her shoulders, with as many layers of clothes as possible, body rigid. Akane's expression was closed and her eyes were hard and as cold as a burning fire. She wasn't the Akane he knew, and she was nothing like the Mizuko he had known. She was nothing more but a beautiful disaster.

"I… I don't know…" He said, suddenly not knowing why he had done it in the first place.

Akane's eyes flashed. She shook and grabbed the nearest object to throw at him but Yoko stopped her.

"Don't force yourself, just let him be! He doesn't deserve it!" She said, taking from her hands the object she had taken and keeping Akane from grabbing more objects.

"I think he does deserve a good hit from her though," Nori said.

"Nori! This isn't the solution and you know it!" Yoko scolded.

He sighed, glanced quickly at Hiroko then turned towards Akane.

"I'm going to call the cops to arrest him, Akane. I know it'll be difficult but you'll have to talk to them abut what has happened, okay?"

He walked towards his desk to make the phonecall. Akane stared in emptiness, not knowing what to do or how to feel. There was no way she could ever talk about this to anyone.

"You don't know…"

"What?" Nori said, putting down the phone to listen to her.

"You said… that you know it's difficult… but you _don't_. You're a man, you don't care about me, or how I feel, or how any woman ever felt… You're like them, you just take what you want."

Nori opened and closed his lips, but felt too guilty to actually answer. Yoko surrounded her shoulders with an arm but Akane moved away from her.

"Don't act all good to me when it's all your fault. You all did this… but it doesn't matter because it happened. What I want to know… is _why_."

She turned towards Hiroko, her eyes so cold and biting that he knew he had no choice but tell her the truth…

"…I need the money… I… owe a lot of money to the wrong people… I had borrowed it to try and pay for your mother's health but… it didn't work and ever since, I've been trying to pay them back… I couldn't get it any other way… Gorou said it'd be safe, you'd be well treated and… well… there was a bed, and food and drinks… A-and you'll have to do it eventually… I thought… it'd be enough to pay back everything I owe…"

Akane was disgusted and she didn't bother hiding it, but her shoulders fell down.

"You think that because there was food and drink it'd make it any better? I didn't know anything about it. You never asked anything. You never said anything about owing money. You didn't think that I'd want to… that I'd want it to be with someone I love instead of being raped like some… some…"

Tetsurou's face flashed in her mind but she pushed the thought far, far away.

"Your mother never was bothered about being a prostitute… And you're so much like her."

"Don't talk like that about Mizuko!" Nori exclaimed.

"My… my mother wasn't… she wasn't…"

Akane shook her head but Hiroko laughed bitterly.

"You don't believe me? How do you think she got _you?_ "

Akane's eyes filled with tears once again. Her mother was warm and kind, she had taught her how to read and count and all the basics of chemistry and sciences – she made her love sciences! She always told her… she used to always tell her to study hard and get a good life… She was the most amazing and beautiful person she had ever known…

"Hiroko, please–" Yoko started.

"How do you think she was friend with that one? You're still on business Yoko, or you're just selling yourself to Nori only?" He continued in a hard voice.

Yoko looked away and Akane glanced between all three of them, not understanding. Or rather she understood too well and along with her virginity and image of herself, Akane was losing what she thought she knew about her mother.

"You should know, Akane, how we all met – that was almost twenty years ago, right? I was working as bartender in one of the night club belonging to the Kuwahara family. Of course, most of the girls working there were prostitutes – and that's where I met your mother, and Yoko, and Nori of course! The heir of that _great_ business!"

"We don't do that anymore – when I inherited the business from my father, I made sure there was no more shady business! Everyone here is working of their own free-will and they never do anything that would make them uncomfortable!" Nori replied, glaring at Nori.

"Mizuko got you, Akane, and because that had ruined her body, she couldn't work anymore – so when I proposed to her, she jumped on the occasion. She would have a steady life, with a husband and a house, no worry for money. But then–"

"Then you decided to move at the other side of Tokyo to make sure she never saw us again! We all know you forced her into marrying you!" Yoko exclaimed.

"She loved me and she wanted my money! That's all!"

"You didn't have any money! She was just desperate to make sure Akane would grow up safely and away from this world! But you had to go and throw her into it!"

"Mizuko shouldn't have died! She shouldn't have gotten sick! I worked my ass off trying to pay for the bills and her health fees, but it wasn't enough! She died and then I ended up having to take care of her daughter!"

Yoko glared at him, surrounding Akane's shoulders protectively, but the girl didn't even react.

"All that money I borrowed – I need to pay it back! If I don't…"

"You should have asked me help, instead of going to yakuza and drug-dealers to borrow money from them!"

"You would have never helped me!"

"Of course I would have, but you didn't care!"

"Nori! It's enough!" Yoko shouted, "Just call the cops! Get him arrested!"

Nori clicked his tongue but did as told. Hiroko opened and closed his lips before burying his face in his hands. Akane stared at him – she had seen him in this position times and times again. Almost every night, as he counted the money, ever since her mother had passed away… He had been struggling to pay back – she didn't know back then what it was, but she knew now that it was because of how expensive trying to heal her mother had been. For better or worse, even though he was a piece of shit, he _did_ love Mizuki, he _did_ try to help her.

"I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" He sobbed, but only silence answered to him.

Akane remembered that time he had been beaten up because of the money he owed.

"What is going to happen to Akane?" He suddenly asked, looking up.

"That's none of your problem!" Nori hissed, dialling the number.

"It's gonna be yours, though? If you call the cops… no one is gonna believe that you changed that place – you're gonna be arrested too, y'know…"

Nori paused, glancing at him, then he looked back at Akane and shook his head.

"I… I'd deserve it then… I should have been more careful."

Akane sensed Yoko's hands suddenly gripping her shoulders. She looked up at the woman who swallowed hard, tears in her eyes. She really loved Nori and she was about to lose him but…

"Akane is gonna end up in a foster home – the guys I owe money to, they'll still find her. They might even force her to do what happened today once again. Don't call the cops or no one is going to be happy!"

"It's– you should have thought about it before!" Nori exclaimed, voice breaking and his eyes filling with tears.

He turned away, pressing on the green phone to call the cops. Akane hadn't had time to see very well but with the tears making his eyes brighter, she had noticed that his eyes were brown, with a reddish hue. Just like hers.

Her heart missed a beat, thinking back on all the times her mother had told her about her father and every interactions she had had with Nori ever since she had met him…

" _Your father is a good man, but he didn't get to choose his life. That's why he was forced to stay away from us. That's why we're staying with your stepfather, Akane."_

" _Don't be ridiculous. I didn't expect to see her here, that's all. She looks so much like her mother, it was a surprise."_

" _She's not his daughter."_

" _Don't mind it. It's the least I could do. We had such a good waitress tonight, after all. Make sure to treat your daughter right. She seems like a brilliant child, you're very lucky."_

Akane hated that day. Her whole life was torn apart. She had lost what she held precious, she had learned who her mother really was and _she_ …

She looked up at Nori, seeing him wipe away tears while Yoko was trembling. Nori was divorcing and was supposed to marry Yoko soon, right? But that wouldn't happen if Nori did end up in prison like Hiroko. Who would take care of her? Would the people Hiroko owed money to really find her to force her into becoming a… a prostitute…?

She was watching another household being torn apart because of Hiroko's selfishness and all that damn money he owned.

"Don't call the police…"

Silence resonated and Nori turned around, blinking at her.

"Don't call the police…" She repeated in a breath.

Just then, the police answered at the other side of the phone.

" _This is the police. What is your emergency?"_

Nori didn't know what to say, no one said anything. Hiroko looked up at Akane hopefully just as she looked straight into Nori's eyes, tears in her eyes.

"Stop the call!"

The cop couldn't hear her but Nori obeyed, ending the call before turning completely towards Akane.

"I-if… if you do that… you'll be… you'll _all_ be…"

"Akane-chan… it's okay, we… we should have protected you…" Yoko said.

"It doesn't change what happened anyway!" She screamed, lowering her head until her hair hid her face, "It doesn't change what has been taken away from me…!"

A sob almost strangled her but she held back.

"And I have no one to care for me anyway…" She breathed, thinking of Mizuko's butsudan and cold apartment waiting for her.

Hiroko lowered his face, closing his eyes to hold back the tears burning in his eyes…

"…Akane, you… we need to find a solution… I'll… I'll do anything you need from me… even paying everything that Hiroko owes." Nori said.

"You can't, not anymore," Hiroko mumbled, "I… I'm the one they want… I'm the one who needs to fix it… If they find out you gave your money, they won't be forgiving – not for me and not for you…"

"Then work properly, asshole!" Yoko cried.

"It won't be fast enough… and I… I already promised…"

He glanced at Akane before looking down again.

"Oh no, you didn't you bastard…" Yoko hissed.

Akane looked up at her, not understanding but then, seeing the rage seething in her eyes she understood that today… today shouldn't have been the only time she would have been paid off to some man's lust.

"…What…?"

"You are completely insane if you think I'm going to let you use Akane again!" Nori exclaimed.

"It's just…! Gorou planned everything! He said it'd be fine! That we could get enough money very quickly! Today was special because she's… because she was a virgin so they paid more! They should have paid more! But… he knows other people who… who would pay for a middle-school girl like Akane… so… I assumed… one time or a few more…"

He shrugged helplessly, and Akane saw all the despair in his eyes.

"I'll do it," Yoko said, "I'm not a minor like they want but they'll pay anyway."

"Yoko… Please…! We can find another solution!" Nori exclaimed.

"It… wouldn't be the first time, right? It'll be fine…" She answered with a bittersweet expression, tears in her eyes once again, "Better me than Akane."

"They won't want you, you're too old now." Hiroko said.

"Excuse me?!"

All three started arguing loudly, constantly going back and forth and trying to find a solution.

Akane passed her hands over her bruised forearms, because of her struggle. Then, hidden under the cover that was around her, she pressed her hand against her lower stomach. It still hurt like hell. But there was nothing to save there, nor in her heart.

"I'll do it…"

Even if her voice had been barely higher than a whisper, they all heard and turned to her with wide eyes.

"I'll do it… if it means that it'll all be over soon and no one gets in trouble…" She said, eyes burning to think of going through it all over again – but it was for her safety, and everyone else's.

"Akane… thank you!" Hiroko exclaimed, approaching her.

She stepped away instantly, paling and he froze before looking down, swallowing hard.

" _Don't_ … approach me… _don't_ touch me… I still hate you and I'll never forgive you for what you did to me…" She hissed.

Hiroko didn't reply but Yoko turned towards Akane.

"You don't have to do this – you _can't_ do this! Think again, Akane-chan… it's… You're worth more than that…"

She looked up at her, blinking.

"It doesn't matter, does it? The only worth I have… is the one men give me… and that's all I'm worth now…"

"No, I can't let you do this… Listen, I… I'm not proud of it, but I know the road you're taking. You're thinking it's easier and that you'll be able to get away from this the moment you decide it's too much, but you won't! It's not possible to go on another path once you take it, you'll regret it!" Yoko exclaimed, "I know this because I've been through it! Don't make the wrong choice, Akane!"

"I don't _have_ a choice…"

"You always have a choice! We'll find another way! But don't do this to yourself, please! Mizuko wouldn't–"

"My mother isn't here anymore. And I'm just like her apparently, so…"

"You'll regret it, _don't_ do it! You're making this choice out of sadness and anger, but it's not right! What if you fall in love with someone someday? What will you tell this person? That you whore yourself to protect others? Out of kindness? They won't believe you and you'll be all alone…"

Akane buried the thought of Kuroo Tetsurou and everything they could have had deep, deep, deep in her mind and heart. And she decided that she would never think of him again, of her feelings for him. She would never fall in love – not with him, not with anyone… No one would fall for her, anyway.

"I could never love anyone now…" She said, staring in emptiness.

Yoko opened and closed her lips, then turned towards Nori.

"Akane… your mother wouldn't want this for you… She wanted you to have a good life." He said sadly.

" _Never let men decide of your own life, make your own choice, Akane. Grow up and become a brilliant scientist – it'll give you a good and stable life."_ Mizuki used to tell her.

Akane clenched her jaw and fists, fighting against the tears but then, she looked up, shaking her hair and letting ugly tears roll down her cheeks. Before she even uttered a sound, all three of the adults startled at the sight of the broken girl:

"I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! She's GONE! Like all the good in my life! It's all _gone!_ There's no point anymore…! I'll never love, I'll never care for anyone ever again! I'll gain the money to get Hiroko out of his troubles! And I'll still make a good life! I'll study until I collapse and I'll become a brilliant scientist and get a good and stable life even if I have to spend my entire life opening my legs for men who think I'm no better than an object or a pet!"

Her voice kept rising and rising until it broke and she was left out of breath, crying desperately for a life they knew she wouldn't have. But holding onto this hope was everything she had left…

Yoko looked up at Nori, tears in her eyes. He looked away and Hiroko looked between both of them but didn't say anything…

Akane had made her choice, she was too stubborn and unless they called the police and got all of them arrested or thrown into danger, she wouldn't let anyone else do it for her.

"Then… I'll be there to help you…" Yoko said.

Akane looked up, barely breathing through her tears and panic.

"Mizuko and I didn't have anyone to help us go through it all when we had your age… I'll… I'll protect you as much as I can… okay?"

The young girl was still close to hyperventilating, and she looked completely distraught, but somehow the words got to her. She nodded hesitantly and Yoko drew her into a hug.

Yoko brought her into a safe room where Akane instantly fell asleep but was haunted by nightmares. The following day, both Yoko and Nori tried to convince her to go back on her decision. Akane was determined to keep as many people as possible from getting hurt, even if it meant destroying herself in the process. Hiroko didn't manifest himself that day and she was grateful he stayed away. She hated him for what he had done to her, and she hated herself even more for what she was about to do, but there didn't seem to be anything left to hope for after what she had lost.

She spent the night staring at the stars because she couldn't sleep, her mind haunted by everything she had lived and learned.

In another part of Tokyo, Kuroo Tetsurou finally stood up from the museum's stairs where he had been waiting since this morning for Akane. He had been certain she had wanted to go on that date with him… He had waited for her for hours and hours in front of the museum, then waited more when he had seen all the people for the conference go in and out and still, he hoped that she might arrive at some point… But she never came and without knowing it, he'll never see again the Saito Akane he first fell in love with.

Getting up to go to school, getting dressed in her uniform felt… strange. After everything that had happened, it still seemed so… normal. But when Akane looked at her reflection in the mirror, she didn't see anything other than a disgusting ghost. She saw her mother as much as she saw the whore she had chosen to become.

When her hands trembled, she stopped her line of thoughts and went off for school. She kept glancing around nervously, painfully aware of the men who were looking at her, _why_ they were looking at her like that. But she didn't feel nervous out of embarrassment like before, now she felt in danger. Constantly. Before, her clothes had helped her feel safe but it didn't matter anymore. There wasn't anything left to save from men and everything for them to savour the moment they'd choose to.

Nothing seemed to change from before, but she had changed so much in so little time that she felt dizzy. It was off – everything suddenly became foreign to her. Even the roads she had taken everyday since she was a child, the school she had attended for three years, the halls she had gone through hundreds of times, the classrooms she had spent thousands of hours in, the classmates and teachers she had seen everyday for the last three years… It was as if all these people had become blurry, their voices distant and nothing could reach her, no emotion could make her feel anything but coldness, anger and pain. Would that be her life from now on?

"Saito-san!"

She froze and stopped breathing when she heard that voice. _His_ voice.

She didn't dare turn around just as Kuroo Tetsurou caught up with her and quickly arrived in front of her:

"Hey! What happened Saturday? I waited for you but you never showed up… Is everything all right? Did something happen?" He asked, looking genuinely worried.

Akane's heart tightened painfully in her chest, remembering only now that two days ago, she had been supposed to go on her date with him. She… had completely forgotten… But more than her own guilt and disappointment, the concern he felt for her was hitting her so hard she couldn't breath. No one, none of the adults, has looked at her like that in the last few days – it was sad, or guilty, or angry, or disappointed but never truly worried for her and her well-being. What they cared about was their _conscience_ because of what had happened, not Akane herself.

But Kuroo-kun… Kuroo-kun was different, he cared for _her_ and… and instead of being a comforting thought, _it hurt even more_. She couldn't tell him the truth – how would he look at her then? He might even try to talk to some other adult? What was she supposed to do now? She had missed their date, had ruined his hopes, probably broken his heart … what should she do now? She hadn't thought about seeing him again, he was the only face she could see, the only clear voice she could hear… But he deserved better.

Unable to find any words to say, and her heart breaking at her thoughts, Akane turned away to keep walking, lowering her head so her hair would hide the tears in her eyes.

Kuroo blinked and turned around, watching her walk away.

"W-wait! Saito-san! Wait!" He called, going after her and grabbing her shoulder.

She slapped his hand away and without directly looking at him, screamed:

"I forgot! Okay?! Don't make it such a huge deal, it was just a visit at a museum, nothing important!"

 _I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry–_

She didn't dare look over her shoulder, knowing he must have been shocked and hurt by her reaction.

"W-what… but… you… we…"

She didn't have the heart to listen to his stammer any longer, the sound of his broken heart. She kept walking and didn't look back.

Akane went straight into the toilets and immediately covered her mouth and knelt down, smothering her cries and sobs with her own hands. Her tears rolled down in rivers, her entire body shaking. She lowered her head, hidden by her long hair while she broke her heart as well as Tetsurou's, and she did so as cruelly and as silently as possible…

She didn't look in his direction for days, he didn't talk to her anymore. She wanted him to become as blurry and distant as the others. When she stopped talking to people and became cold and angry, little by little and without ever asking what was wrong with her they turned away. They didn't care enough about her to try and break down her wall. She wasn't surprised, but it left a bitter taste in her mouth. Tetsurou was an exception though, she had hoped he would have tried to talk to her again, but he didn't… and _that hurt_.

Then came the day she was supposed to become a whore. She didn't sleep, she didn't eat, she shook as she got dressed. Her heart was beating hard and every beat was heavier and harder than the previous one. She was sweating and she was about crying. She felt like a little girl, lost into the huge shop called 'adulthood'. She wasn't ready to be there, but she didn't have a choice and had been pushed in it too soon.

Hiroko drove her where she was supposed to go, not a word shared between the two. Yoko tried to give her some advices to help her, but she didn't hear a thing.

It hurt. She cried. She made herself sick. But she didn't scream.

She was spending less and less time with people but curiously, because she was desperate to study harder and become better than a whore, her grades got higher. It pleased her, it was the only thing she was holding onto and that was still bearable.

So when Kuroo Tetsurou was right behind her in every results, or even got higher grades than her, it pissed her off. He made sure she understood he was now competing with her and _it was not okay_. He was taking away the one thing she enjoyed doing, the one thing she was good for.

"Hey, Saito!"

She ignored his calls, continuing her way after seeing the board with the very last results of their third-year in middle-school. He had beat her, _again_. She was disgusted with herself, even more than for her other activities. She needed to get better, to have the best grades – it was the only thing she had!

"Saito! Oi!"

Kuroo ran beyond her and blocked her path, forcing her to look up at him. He was frowning and looked strangely determined:

"What is wrong with you lately? Ever since– you've been off for months now!"

"Why do you care?" She hissed, trying to go past him but he slammed his hand against the wall to keep her from moving.

"Because I– because I don't like seeing you like that… You've closed off from _everyone_ , including me and I… I thought we were friends but you don't even react to me anymore, you're being rude and cold and I hate that."

"I won't change my behaviour to please _you_." She said in a stern voice despite her heart thundering in her chest in absolute panic.

"And _yet!"_ He continued, sounding more and more annoyed with her behaviour, "Whenever you don't have the best result you get pissed off – you don't like competition? You hate that I'm better than you? Is this why you never came to that date?"

She had been moving around him to keep walking but froze when she heard that. She whipped around so suddenly, he startled, seeing the hurt and anger in her eyes – so different from the girl he had thought he knew for the past three years…

"What… what is wrong with you?" He asked, feeling unsure and awkward in front of this girl he didn't understand, "You're not the Akane I used to know…"

The disappointment in his voice broke her heart but she turned her head away, letting her mask of indifference crack for a short moment. But he didn't see, no one noticed because no one could see her expression right now.

"She's gone. Stop looking for her." She breathed, stepping forward.

She looked up and noticed Kozume Kenma standing there – obviously he had heard their argument, and obviously he had seen her expression just now. He was watching her, curious and almost hurt so, unable to face him or Kuroo any longer, she turned away and ran upstairs. Their voices resonated in the stairs and she heard everything they then said …

"I don't get it! What's wrong with her?! What have I ever done to her?!" Kuroo hissed, kicking the closest wall as if it'd help.

"It'll be fine, just be patient. Maybe she's just a little stressed because of the finals to enter high-school, or maybe something happened at home…"

"Stressed for her results? _Saito Akane?!_ She's got no trouble at all! Three different high-schools want her because of how brilliant she is! She's got her whole path waiting for her and she's going to–"

His voice broke and he muffled some swearing that Akane couldn't understand.

"You're just worried for her, and you're scared you won't see her again if she goes to a different high-school than you…" Kenma said.

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are."

"I'm _not!"_

"You are. You've liked her since your first-year and you've always had a thing for long-haired girls–"

"Who cares about that crush in first-year?! Now she's just! She's just plain annoying! I can't deal with her anymore! It'll be great if she goes anywhere BUT my high-school! And long-hair don't even look good on her!"

"Kuroo…"

"What now?!"

They walked away, Kuroo probably still badmouthing her and Akane couldn't blame him. She remained standing half-way through the stairs, head down, her cascade of hair hiding her expressionless face.

So he found her annoying now? He didn't want her around? Wasn't it what she had wanted? So why… why did she want to go back there and tell him she's been in love with him for the past three years but that her behaviour was just because… because she was hurt to the deepest parts of her soul?

She didn't move an inch.

That day when she went home, she threw her bag across her bedroom and startled when she heard the sound of breaking glass. She looked at the photography of her mother that had fallen down, the glass protecting it now shattered in pieces. She hesitated then knelt down next to it, pushing away the shards of glass to stare at the picture.

" _You have such lovely hair, Akane!"_ Mizuki would always say.

" _I like long-haired girls, it's easier to grab them this way~!"_ Had said not long ago one of the men she had offered her service to. He had pulled at her hair the entire time.

" _And long-hair don't even look good on her!"_

Akane ran into the bathroom and stared at her reflection, ugly tears rolling down her cheeks, surprisingly not evaporating from the rage burning in her eyes. She pulled open the drawer and pulled out the pair of scissors, not even hesitating when she pulled at her hair and randomly cut part of it. The long strands fell down around at her feet softly, while her sobs tore her chest apart.

When Hiroko found her crying in the bathroom with her hair cut short and a complete mess, he called Yoko who came right away. By the time the woman was here, Akane had calmed down and kept passing her hand over her bare neck. She arranged her hair, whispering soothing words through it all but never judging her for what she had done. Akane noticed then that Yoko had short hair, she wondered if she had cut it for the same reason she had. To not let it be a tool for people to control them.

When she went to school with shockingly short hair and her skirt higher than usual, head held high, everyone gawked at her, surprised by her sudden change of behaviour. They only saw a girl to fuck? Let them dream about it, but she'll keep her hair short so they can't use it to grab her. _She'll_ choose who to fuck, even if it meant losing whatever was left of her dignity. _She'd_ make her own form of dignity even if it didn't align with people's expectations of her.

She'll never forget the look on Kuroo's face when he saw her like that for the first time. Short-hair, cold and disdainful – he looked hurt and betrayed, his idea of her had become as twisted as her heart.

Later, she heard that Kuroo-kun had been scouted by Nohebi high-school's volleyball club, as well as Nekoma's. Everyone was praising him for being able to join a powerhouse like Nohebi. So she decided to cut their paths and go to Nekoma – she'll never see him again this way.

On the graduation day, she noticed a crowd of girls around Kuroo and the second-button of his gakuran was gone. But no one ever found who he had given it to.

"What school are you going to attend?"

She startled when she heard a voice and turned around, seeing Kozume standing there.

"W-what… Nekoma, why?"

"Mmm… Maybe I'll see you around then." He shrugged, "You're not staying to celebrate with the other third-years?"

She glanced one last time at Kuroo – the last time she'd see him. Then, without answering Kenma, she walked out of the gates, clenching her diploma so tightly that her joints turned white.

Akane was furious when she found out that Kuroo had decided to attend Nekoma high-school instead – something about a coach's dream he wanted to help accomplish. She was seething, all her hard work to push him away was now crumbling away. Her hair was still short and people started saying she acted like a bitch, but boys were drooling on her way. So her skirt got even shorter, even if no one ever approached nor touched her. Kuroo… Kuroo _did_ try to approach her when they ended up in the same classroom, but he was acting awkward and a little distant – as if he didn't know how to talk to her anymore. She made sure to break all his hopes to start anew their relationship, even if it meant being cold, alone and broken-hearted.

He didn't try talking to her again – but they openly started competing against each other in every field they could possibly do.

Her activities outside of school continued for a few more months – the time to gather enough money for Hiroko's debt to be paid back. But by then…

"University?" She repeated, blinking.

"Yes, do you know what university you'll attend?" Yoko asked her someday as she was checking on her health.

One of the conditions of letting Akane becoming a whore was for Yoko and Nori to check on her regularly, especially Yoko who considered it her duty towards Mizuko to ensure her daughter was doing fine. It made Akane _laugh_ but deep down, she was grateful to have a motherly presence to turn to.

"I'm… I'm only in my first-year of high-school and… and I doubt… I'll have enough money to pay for the tuition…" She answered, looking down at her hands joined on her thighs.

"Nori-san would love to pay for your tuition. And, you're such a brilliant student, I'm sure you'll receive a scholarship."

"I… don't want to owe him any money…"

"You wouldn't owe him any money, you know… He'd do it gratefully."

"I don't want that. I don't want to depend on another man, ever." She said, her voice colder than intended.

Yoko's gestures ceased for a moment, her gaze lost for a while.

"I… understand that… but getting help doesn't make you weak."

Akane huffed and looked away in order to ignore her.

"You're so stubborn, uh…" Yoko sighed, not really surprised anymore, "Didn't you say that you'd find a way out of this life? I only let you do this because you were determined to make it happen. Don't disappoint yourself, nor your mother."

She didn't answer, keeping her lips tight.

"Do you have everything you need? What about clothes and food?" Yoko asked, standing up to check on her closet.

"It's… fine… but… I'll need to go buy some clothes. Most of what I owe is started to get old and is too tight…"

"Girls your age grow up so fast, after all," Yoko agreed, "Would you–"

"I can do it on my own. I know what I have to buy, thank you. You've already given me plenty of advices."

Despite Akane's cold demeanour towards Yoko, she really was grateful to the woman who taught her so much. It wasn't much about how to be effective, but how to make the experience less painful. Thanks to Yoko, she was… getting used to it. She still felt disgusted by herself and everything that was being done to her, but… she had learned how to numb it all.

Yoko nodded, lips tight, looking disappointed she couldn't do more for the girl.

"Here, your part of the money that you deserve. Use that to buy everything you need," Yoko said, forcing a lot of money into Akane's hands.

"Wait, I don't need that much and–"

Yoko put a hand on her mouth, forcing to remain silent. Akane looked conflicted, but nodded.

A few days later, following the routine she had gotten used to, she undressed herself and spent a few hours pleasing a man she never looked at.

"Here you go, a bonus for you~!" He praised at the end, throwing some money on the bed while she was getting dressed.

She hesitated, he had already paid Hiroko so why… but the man was already dozing off, satisfied. She made a face of disgust but gathered the money. It was a lot less than her price but… it was a "bonus", wasn't it? Perhaps… perhaps she could keep that for herself, not depend on Hiroko nor Yoko or Nori… perhaps she could even gather enough for university… She had two years to make that happen.

And as disgusted as she felt, it became her goal – swallow back your pride, pretend that you're enjoying it so they'll give you big tips. And even if it was hard to gather money while she had so many things to pay for in her everyday life. At least she wasn't depending on any man and she could control her own life.

She could control her own life, and it became almost easy to be a whore when she was telling herself that.

Every sound resonated in her head, every light blinded her, she felt dizzy and sick. She knew she shouldn't have eaten breakfast when she had felt nauseous this morning but with pe class and a math test right after, she couldn't afford to skip on food…

"Saito-san, you're okay? You don't look good…" One of her teammate said.

"I…"

"Perhaps you should sit this one out," Kuroo intervened, coming out of nowhere, "Playing volleyball when you don't feel good is only going to end up with you receiving the ball with your face. We wouldn't want to damage that pretty face, uh?"

She tried glaring at him, but she was too weak to muster the strength. It surprised Kuroo enough that he stared at her worriedly as she excused herself to the teacher. He almost proposed to accompany her to the nurse but one of their teammates called him and, still hesitating, let her go on her own.

Akane fully had the intention to go to the nurse, but a sudden nausea forced her to run to the closest toilets. She pushed open the door of the stall and immediately threw up her breakfast, being sick for long, long minutes and not feeling any better. Her entire body ached, she felt feverish and she was shaking.

 _No, no, no, no, no..._ _This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening…_

After the pe class, Kuroo went to check on her at the nurse – but Akane had never made it there. All of her stuff was gone from school, too.

"Eeeh? She pretended to be sick to skip class then?" One of their classmates said with a mocking grin.

"Probably because she didn't want to pass the math test and fail – she'd never get over it, this workaholic!"

"The teacher was pissed – serves her right! What a bitch!"

Yaku, Kai and Kuroo who overheard it all, didn't add anything.

"It's unusual for Saito-san to miss a test like that… She didn't look like she faked being sick to me, though," Yakkun remarked.

"They're just using any excuse to be mean to her because they're jealous," Kai said, feeling bad for the girl even though he wasn't her classmate.

"She's so pretty though~!" Yakkun hummed with a smile.

"You really like short-haired girls, Yakkun," Kai remarked with a smile.

"Yes, yes~! And she's so hot! No wonder all the other girls are jealous of her – no one could surpass Saito-san on _any_ level!" Yaku continued, not hiding his crush on her – but most guys had a crush on Saito Akane, after all.

"Short hair don't suit her," Kuroo mumbled, glancing away and putting his chin on his hand.

"Come on, you're only saying that because you hate her and you only know how to contradict me!" Yaku exclaimed, their rivalry sparkling once again.

Kuroo had almost startled when being accused of "hating her". He didn't hate her. He hated what she had become without being able to help her at all.

Akane had gone home, with a stop at a pharmacy where she wouldn't know anyone. Thankfully, she didn't cross path with anyone and the apartment was empty. It still smelled of beer from last night. It made her sick again but this time… this time she didn't leave the bathroom when she was done throwing up.

She waited, shaking, until her phone rang to tell her that she should have her answer. She stopped the clock but didn't dare look at the pregnancy test she was holding in her clenched hand. She didn't want to know, even if deep down… deep down she already did.

Her eyes, already filled with tears, finally looked up at the pregnancy test that announced to her that she was, indeed, pregnant. Her shout of pure rage and pain resonated in the entire apartment as she threw the pregnancy test across the bathroom.

She had been safe! She had been safe! How was this happening?! She was always making sure a condom was used – had one broken during one of her service? She hadn't realised it! When she had a doubt she was taking the morning pill but… but it was expensive and she hadn't asked any money from anyone, too grateful on her newfound independence…

She screamed again, against herself, hating herself and what she had become. It explained why she was putting on weight, why her breasts were bigger and so sore, why she was always tired, it explained so much, _so much, so…_

"W-why! WHY did I let this happen?! I'm– RAAAAH!"

She kept shouting, pressing her hands against her stomach in the hope it'd make the cruel truth disappear. She hadn't even noticed her periods were late – she was such an idiot! Why wasn't she more careful?! Why?! WHY?! _WHY?!_

She grabbed the pair of scissors, the glinting tip aimed at her stomach. Her hands held the scissors tightly and she tried to push it into her body but every time, her arms froze. She tried again, and again, and again, shouting and crying until she threw the scissors across the room, to join the pregnancy test.

Finally, after hours of being scared and panicked, she called the only person she could turn to.

"Yoko-san?"

" _Yes, Akane-chan? What is it?"_ She asked worriedly when she heard the sobs in the girl's voice.

"P-please… help me…" Akane sobbed over the phone.

Yoko didn't judge as she listened, and she came right away. Without a word, she helped the girl clean herself up and dress before driving her at the other side of town.

"We need to know how far you are in the pregnancy. I know someone who will help." Yoko said, "She… she's a friend of mine, for a long time. She's the one who helped Mizuko when she was pregnant with you, you know…"

Akane now knew that her mother had ended up in the same situation, the same fear and panic. Had she tried to stab herself too? Had she wished to have never been born to never face such a dreadful situation?

"I… I thought I was safe… it shouldn't have happened… It shouldn't have happened…!" Akane cried, panicking once gain.

"It's okay, we'll find a solution. Contraception is never a hundred percent sure." Yoko answered.

"I'm only sixteen years old…! It shouldn't have happened!"

Akane sobbed into her hands and Yoko realized that she wasn't referring to contraception failing – it was this whole mess that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Yoko's friend didn't hesitate in helping out, taking Akane in a discreet room to check her state. Yoko stared at the young girl, holding her hand tightly.

She had a sudden flashback of sixteen years ago.

 _In a similar room, with her best friend laying down, her eyes red from tears and her long black hair a mess. She startled when the cold gel touched her skin then the doctor pressed the scan against her stomach. The doctor observed closely the screen before speaking up:_

" _I can confirm that you are nine weeks pregnant. Here, have a look."_

 _She turned the screen so the sixteen-years old girl could see the little bean that was her baby. The doctor turned on the sound so the heartbeat could be heard._

 _Yoko watched closely as Mizuko's eyes filled with wonder, she approached her hand to the screen and slowly, she let go of Yoko's hand to caress her tummy._

" _You're… the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…" She whispered, crying – but there was no more fear in her eyes._

 _Yoko smiled._

Akane reacted the exact same way, her eyes widening in awe and sparkling with instant love. She lifted up her hand but hesitated. She… she was only sixteen years old, she was in high-school and she… she was trying to get a life, but she couldn't… she couldn't afford to lose it. Even for a baby, even for the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to her.

Yoko was expecting her to let go of her hand to caress her stomach, like Mizuko had done so many years ago, choosing Akane over her own dreams. But at the last moment, Akane whipped her head away and griped Yoko's hand tightly and she sobbed.

The doctor told them of the different options and even if grief darkened Akane's eyes, she never hesitated – she wouldn't keep the baby. She never let go of Yoko's hand either, shaking like a leaf.

"Are you sure you won't regret it?" Yoko asked worriedly.

" _I'll never regret choosing her,"_ Mizuko had told her years ago while holding her newborn baby girl.

"I… I can't afford regrets..." Akane said, crying silently.

Yoko didn't answer. An appointment was made for a few days later and for weeks afterwards, Akane was unable to do anything – she could barely drag herself to school, missing a day out of two at least. No homework was done, no whore business was done either. Her grades dropped and money ran low – she hadn't even realised how depending Hiroko and her had become of her being a whore. When she was alone, Akane was staring at the pregnancy test and she was touching her stomach, as if waiting for a sign that the abortion hadn't actually worked and her tummy would grow. But all the hopes she didn't want to admit broke when her next cycle came, particularly painful. She missed more days of school but by then no one was really bothered by her regular absence.

Teachers talked to her, but with a few smiles and saying that the anniversary of her mother's death was difficult, was a good enough excuse and they dropped any doubt they had on her. Only Kuroo didn't believe this excuse because he knew it was nowhere near her mother's death anniversary – but no one else knew and no one bothered to care. Kuroo didn't dare approach her, knowing that whatever she was hiding was gnawing at her and there was nothing he could do about it.

But the teachers suddenly asking her questions was a kick for Akane. Her grades came up again and she went back to earn as much money as she could. She was starting to gain experience in sexual activities, she barely minded it anymore – especially if she indulged in drinking with the client. It made things easier, even if it often made her sick. Her short pregnancy had left curves on her body that were highly appreciated, but it was a constant reminder of what she had given up.

She wouldn't love ever again – it included men, and it included children. She wasn't like her mother who had chosen her over her life. She had dreams to accomplish, even if it seemed out of reach and desperate.

She got pregnant once again between her first and second year of high-school but that time, no one saw her cry when she went for another abortion. She had to smother her cries in her pillows at night though.

Her second-year of high-school started, the same as the previous one, feeling numb and a giant wall around her. The only thing that excited her or gave her the slightest bit of joy was, as painful as it was, her constant rivalry with Kuroo. Even after all this time, he still was the only face she could see and the only voice she could hear clearly. She still found herself staring at him, sighing at the thought of him, wishing he'd look her way…

But it all went down when he started dating Minamoto Kohaku. So many girls who had been drooling at the tall, intelligent, handsome and talented future Captain of the volleyball team found themselves extremely disappointed when the relationship between the two went on and on… and on, and didn't seem to have an end. They seemed made for each other, as annoying as it was for all the girls who were sighing and whining their disappointment.

Akane never said a thing and she made sure to always, always look away from Kuroo, or Minamoto, and even more when the two of them were together, holding hands or kissing.

Maybe it was because her heart had broken all over again, for the same boy, but this time because he had definitely moved on and away from her but she accepted more requests for sex. Kuroo's face became blurry and his voice wasn't as clear as it had once been. She could feel her heart breaking even more, even if it seemed impossible to be in so much pain after so much time feeling it break, and break, and break again…

So one day, when a group of clients proposed to her alcohol and drugs, she barely hesitated and they didn't mind that she had never tried drugs before. They found that cute. When she got sick, they simply left for another girl in another room, leaving her in the toilets to throw up and feel like shit.

Barely breathing and half-unconscious, she startled when a cover suddenly surrounded her shoulders, keeping the cold away. She looked up, eyes blurry.

"Kuroo…"

But the vision cleared up and it wasn't Kuroo Tetsurou. _Of course not_ , he wouldn't be in a depraved place like this. Whoever that was, he took her in his arms and carried her to the bed.

"Who are you…" She mumbled, trying to cover herself but her gestures were weak and slow.

"My father just had sex with you. I'm surprised you didn't notice." He answered with a snarky smile.

"Who the fuck are you…" She repeated, trying to sound braver than she felt.

"Name's Takehiko. You're welcome by the way."

He tried to lift up the covers to her shoulders but she pushed him away, even if she was as dangerous as a newborn kitten in her state.

"Hey, I'm trying to help okay?" He said, frowning, "They were completely stupid to give such a big dose when it's the first time you're having drugs… I remember how it felt the first time, it sucked. It'll get better though."

She stared at him for a long time.

"You're… not old…" She realised, blinking in disbelief, "All the other assholes… they're old and disgusting… you're not…"

"Eeeh, thanks, I guess?" He answered with a shrug, "My dad does business as well as pleasure. He wants me to take over his business and drags me everywhere he goes. I don't like fucking girls who can't talk though, so I usually wait for him to be done."

"What kind of girls do you fuck then?"

"The smart kind who doesn't take too much drug on a first time," he replied, forcing the covers to cover her.

"Fuck you then…" She mumbled, turning around and falling asleep at once.

He chuckled before leaving the room, making sure to gather a big enough tip for her.

Akane barely remembered the high-schooler yakuza son who had helped her out that night – until she met him again a few weeks later. They didn't talk, barely acknowledged each other but the third time they met, after a few too many drinks she ended up stumbling outside for fresh air. There he was, smoking a cigarette.

"Hey, beautiful mess," he greeted.

"Hey… young asshole instead of an old one," she answered, stabilizing her drunken self on her high-heels to try to stare down at him.

He laughed – that was a nice surprise. Men didn't usually like when she was being snarky – her role was to be a very pretty and very fuckable thing, who doesn't speak and doesn't have an opinion.

"I know you don't talk like that to the old ones because they get offended but I don't mind so go ahead and let out the steam if you need." He said with a shrug, answering her silent question.

She stared at him suspiciously when he handed her the cigarette with an encouraging nod. She hesitantly took it and cough out the first inhalation. He tapped her back as she struggled.

"Go ahead, try another time, it's better I promise."

She did as he said and like he had promised, it didn't taste as terrible and didn't make her vomit her lungs out.

"Thanks, I guess," she said, handing him back his cigarette, "So… who are you?"

"Your knight in shining armour?"

"Ugh."

"Who do you want me to be?" He asked with a tight smile.

And right there Akane understood that he was as much a prisoner of his life as she was. She was a whore who asked this question to please the men who were paying for sex with a high-schooler. He was a yakuza son who asked this question to please the men who were knee deep in various traffics like his father.

"Don't you know?" She purred, approaching him like she knew men liked it, "With me, you can be whoever you want to be, and I can be whoever you want me to be…"

He stared at her with wide eyes, then _laughed_ at her face. She blushed in embarrassment, feeling as if she had been flirting with an experienced, suave man – he wasn't, but he didn't take her seriously! He knew it was made up words and everything about it was a mask. It made her feel young and stupid and she hated that.

A sudden klaxon resonated and after a quick glance, she realised it was Hiroko coming to pick her up. Before she could leave though, Takehiko grabbed her arm and put money into her hand.

"I-I have to go, I can't do anything to you now…" She said, shaking slightly her head to give it back to him.

"I'm not requesting your service for now, it's reservation fees for next Sunday. You'll be free?"

"I… yes…"

"I want to fuck you when you're sober." He said, his eyes dark and lustful but unlike the disgust she usually felt… she felt acknowledged by him.

He didn't see her as just a whore or just an object of pleasure – or he wouldn't request for her to be sober. Right?

"O-okay…"

The next Sunday, she spent it with Takehiko. It was very different from the usual sex business she had with other men – Takehiko made sure she enjoyed it to some extent even if he was the one leading and giving her orders. He paid her twice the usual price so she could have money for herself. The following week-end they met again, for the same service and he quickly became a regular. It was the only one with whom she was looking forward to it, but it only lasted a few weeks before she was reminded of her place.

After a few hours of intense, and pleasurable sex, they were breathing on the huge bed and Takehiko drew her against his chest. She didn't mind it, even if feeling his heartbeat somehow threw her off a little. But the warmth was reassuring.

"You must admit that it's a lot better with me than these old perverts, uh?" He asked.

She snorted, putting a hand against his chest.

"Definitely."

"Still, you're so different from the other girls."

"I know I am. But tell me, what makes me so different from them?" She asked in a teasing tone.

"Well, I don't get to talk with the other girls, but you, you understand what I'm saying, y'know. You're really smart for a whore."

"I–"

 _I'm not a whore_ , was what she wanted to say but she realised, eyes widened, and body frozen against his, that she _was_. Even if she tried to pretend that she wasn't just that, that she could become someone more, the way all these men, including Takehiko, were seeing her, was that she was _just-a-whore_. Nothing more. Just a whore, good to fuck and play with.

"Let's go for another round," he said, turning her over.

She realised that day that even if Takehiko was trying to make her feel good during their time together, he was still paying her. She was still just another whore to fuck.

For some reason it made her angry but she wasn't sure who to be angry at – the men in general, Hiroko, Takehiko, herself? She was so angry, all the time, she didn't know anymore.

So when a classmate confessed to her in a dark hall, she felt like snapping him in half.

"What?" She hissed.

He seemed a little surprised by her tone, but he didn't back down – he wouldn't have confessed to her in the first place if he didn't have the balls to back it up. He looked down at her and she recognized that look – she knew it _oh so well_ …

"I said… I'd like to go on a date with you." He repeated.

"A date? What _sort_ of date?" She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

It didn't go unnoticed how his eyes glanced at her breasts he could only guess under the uniform.

"Y'know… go watch a movie, or something…"

"A movie, in the dark, so you can grope me and have it your way? Is that it? Is that what you want?" She asked, staring right into his eyes with a burning challenge.

 _Will you have the balls to look me in the eyes and admit that you just want to fuck me?_ She thought, knowing exactly how he thought and what he wanted even if he tried to cover it up with some sugar sweet words.

"W-well, uh…"

He looked back into her eyes and seemed to see the challenge. He swallowed hard but nodded.

"Y-yeah. I'd love that you're… you're gorgeous, you're… you're sexy…" He said, looking her up and down.

"Tell me that you want to do with me," she ordered.

"I… I want… I want to have sex with you…" He said, cheeks turning red as admitted it, but he still looked right into her eyes.

She almost laughed at how easy it was to manipulate him into admitting his lust for her. She could have told him to kneel at her feet and he would have done it if he hoped he'd get to fuck her later.

"You're the captain of the soccer club, right?"

"Y-yes," he said, blinking.

"No practice tonight I believe?"

"N-no," he continued, a smile appearing on his face.

"Then find me in your locker-room after school." She said, turning around without another look.

She heard him jap like a dog his excited answer and she made a disgusted face but not that guy, or all the following ones, ever noticed that disgust. She found two positive things coming from this forbidden sex she had at school with whoever she wanted: they were young and excited and she could just let it go and enjoy it – she didn't have to think of their needs first like with the ones who were paying her. And secondly, she loved the control. It might have been as belittling and disgusting as every single sexual act she had gone through until now, if not more, but she loved being able to control her sex life. It made her feel safer to be able to control what she could – that way, no one could break her, or use her. She was using others instead, even if she found no pride in it.

She was a whore in all possible ways now, but she didn't have it in her to care anymore.

The second-year came to an end and she heard the rumours of Kuroo and Minamoto breaking up and the girl moving away – Akane hated the spark of joy she felt at that news. But the moment she saw how devastated and distant Kuroo had become after this failed relationship, she felt bad for him and all the gratefulness she had felt upon hearing about their break-up. It was obvious he had liked her enough that her departure was a heavy toil on him.

A few weeks after the new year, Kuroo Tetsurou was having as many relationships as she did – in high-school at least. His sexual life, or life full stop, was far from being as depraved as hers. And he had a full control on everything – he was a _man_ , after all.

For some reason, he never came to her for sex, and she never went to him either. It was a quiet understanding that they wouldn't make their relationship anything other than that of rivals.

One day, she was coming back from school when she noticed the entrance door a little opened. She heard voices in the living-room and recognized Hiroko and Nori talking vividly:

"You paid back everything you owed, stop forcing her to prostitute herself!" Nori exclaimed, sounding angry.

"She's doing it willingly! She's enjoying it!"

"You're a blind bastard if you think that! Why do you think she keeps drinking? You think I don't know she's also started smoking and taking drugs?!"

"Oh, come on!"

Akane felt sick thinking that Hiroko believed she'd enjoy any of that. But at this point, she's done it for so long, with so many toxic ways to cope, that it didn't matter anymore. What she wanted, what she liked.

"As soon as she's home, I'm telling her she can stop!"

"She's gathering money for university – are you going to take that away from her?!" Hiroko continued.

" _You_ don't get a say in it! The moment she turns eighteen, you don't have any more right on her! _I'll_ make sure she gets all the help she needs, from _me!_ You're nothing but a disaster and you've ruined her!"

"She doesn't seem to mind anymore, being ruined and all. She'll never stop giving herself away now, you know it! Look at your dear Yoko! She never really stopped! Do you even know if she's not prostituting herself now? Do you think that because she gave birth to your child she's known redemption now?!"

"Don't bring Yoko into it! You are despicable!"

Akane opened the door and entered, not caring if they knew she had heard them.

"Akane…" Nori hesitated upon seeing her.

"If the debt is paid, then I'm stopping," she said, looking straight into Hiroko's eyes.

He hesitated, stunned, then snorted:

"You think you can stop being a whore just like that? You'll never get away from this life, Akane," Hiroko said.

"I'm stopping," she repeated more firmly more to convince herself than anything that she could stop being a whore if she wanted.

He opened his lips but Nori intervened:

"That's good, that's exactly what you need. Akane, you can–"

"Oh shut up, you! You've never been there for her before! I'm her stepfather, I know her better than you do!"

"You sold her away!"

And they started arguing like always when it concerned Akane. She ignored them, continuing her way to her bedroom and locking herself up. She had about six months left before university. She had a good stock of money and she didn't need to prostitute herself anymore. She could stop if she wanted. She would stop. She was stopping now.

The one thing that didn't stop was Takehiko. They didn't stop seeing each other even though it wasn't for "business" anymore but he was still giving her money. He insisted it was not because of the sex but because he had more money than he knew what to do with and he wanted her to succeed.

She talked of her plans for university with Nori and Yoko and they both encouraged her, convinced she was on the right path.

She stopped alcohol and drugs and only smoked very occasionally – her mind was much clearer and it felt as if she was on the right path for redemption. She could get it, her life she had dreamed of – the life her mother had wanted for her.

It all crumbled down when, three months before graduation, blinded by tears, she was throwing up again. For the third time in three years she was pregnant. She had been careful but once again, it didn't seem enough – she knew who the father was this time though. She had been sexually active with only one person these last few months, but she didn't tell Takehiko. She was too ashamed to tell Yoko this time as well. She had just had her baby a few months ago and was too focused on her daughter, Akane didn't want to ruin her happiness with worry. Yoko was believing that Akane was on the right path, she looked proud and reassured for the first time since she had met her.

She couldn't go to her usual doctor – or Yoko would learn. So Akane found her own way to stop the pregnancy… it didn't take long for the consequences to be felt. Fever, bleeding, cramps all that to a level she had never experienced before, she thought she was going to die. She didn't have the strength to call anyone for help and it took over twenty-four hours for Hiroko to come back to the apartment and find her half-dead. She woke up at the hospital and found out that she had had a septic abortion…

"You said you had stopped – how did you get pregnant?!" Yoko exclaimed, holding her hand at the hospital.

"I…"

She looked away, unable to admit the truth but it didn't take long for Yoko to understand:

"You kept seeing them, didn't you?"

"N-no… only… just Takehiko… he's the only one, I swear… H-he's… he's nice to me…" She said, blabbering from her tears.

"Are you in love with him?"

She thought of Kuroo and it broke her heart that even after all these years, after becoming such a shameful, beautiful mess, she was still in love with _him_.

"Never…"

Yoko sighed in relief, then leaned forward:

"Look… you're received at Tokyo University, you have the chance of getting that scholarship. You have money on the side and Nori is offering you a job at one of his best bars – you won't have to work as a prostitute anymore, I promise. But don't refuse this job. You won't owe him any money if you earn it and I… we both want you to succeed and get out of here."

"I…"

Akane nodded weakly.

"Thank you…"

"But there are conditions. _Don't_ see this Takehiko again, _don't_ meet Hiroko ever again – we'll make sure they don't find you, okay? You'll be safe but you need to work on yourself to get away from that life. Or it'll never cease to haunt you…"

"I hate this… I hate it… this life… I want it to be over…" Akane whispered desperately.

Yoko squeezed her hands, understanding what she _wanted_ to hear. That Akane wanted her life as a whore to be over – Akane had hoped she'd understand she wanted her life _full stop_ to end. She didn't want to deal with any of this anymore, not when she was so ruined.

She would never love again, she would never trust again. She would never have a lover, fall in love or think of a family – she had lost all that already. The only thing she had left was trying to make something out of what was left of her… 'life'. Studying biochemistry at the university and trying to make this new 'life' work out. Yoko and Nori counted on her to become someone greater than she was, she couldn't disappoint them after they had helped her so much…

So she started working at The Gem's and with their help, she moved into her new place to start the university and this new 'life'. Hiroko didn't know anything about her or where she was. No looking back now.

"Are you sure you don't need help carrying these boxes upstairs?" Nori asked, frowning as he saw the last three boxes being carried into the elevator.

"I'll be fine! Thank you for everything, Nori-san! I'll call you tonight!" Akane exclaimed, holding the elevator door open to salute him.

"All right… if you need anything, don't hesitate."

She smiled and entered the elevator, piling up the boxes to try and not make a mess. She arrived at her floor and started going out, not seeing that someone was waiting just outside the elevator.

"Oya!" That person exclaimed.

"I'm sorry!" Akane exclaimed after realizing she had almost killed someone, completely hidden by her boxes.

"Let me help you," he proposed.

He didn't wait for her answer and grabbed the box at the top, immediately relieving on the weight she had to carry. They both looked up with smiles.

"Thank y–"

Akane froze in the same time as Kuroo Tetsurou. At first, she hoped she was mistaken but there was no way she could forget the face of the only person she's ever loved.

 _No_. She thought, not knowing he was sharing the same thought for different reasons.

She hated this – how her life kept spinning out of control every time she thought it was getting right. She had vowed to never love but _there it was_ – that bird of hope, fluttering its wings at the sight of Kuroo Tetsurou.

 _Present time…_

Akane was hiding her face in her knees, trembling after telling her entire story to the only person she had wanted to keep safe from that ugly truth – the only person she's ever been in love with…

Completely silent, Tetsurou didn't look her way, staring in emptiness, his hands trembling in rage and sadness. He had imagined terrible things, he had worried for her over the years… but if he had known… _if he had known…_ If he had _cared_. He regretted everything that had happened, everything he ever said, everything he never did, everything she had gone through – if only he could turn back time and keep her safe from all this pain, this anger and coldness.

But it didn't take away his pain from her lies, it didn't lessen the hurt and feeling of betrayal. He knew her story and he liked to think he understood it, but he didn't feel not disgusted. He wasn't sure he could forgive her, he wasn't sure he knew what should be forgiven…

"…If Takehiko and that bastard weren't supposed to be back in your life… why…?"

His voice was strained from the rage and sadness he was trying to keep in check.

"Takehiko saw me at the library, he blackmailed me. He said that if I didn't… if I didn't let him fuck me he'd… he'd tell everyone the truth about me and he'd reveal my location to Hiroko."

Tetsurou clenched his fists and jaw so hard it hurt. It should be numb by now, after this entire story.

"W-when I… ended things, he told everything to Hiroko who found me again. I… the other day when I went away after that phone call? I… went to see Nori-san to tell him what had happened. I don't know what he did but Hiroko stopped contacting me."

 _And then you found out the truth because of Takehiko_ … She thought.

Tetsurou stood up and paced around the room, making NeKo nervous. Akane stared at Tetsurou go back and forth and realised that his eyes were red – had he cried? He hadn't said anything, had barely reacted the whole time. She opened her trembling lips…

 _Do you hate what I am?_ Was what she wanted to ask.

"I'm sorry…" Was what she said.

Tetsurou whipped towards her, opening and closing his lips. His eyes were stormy from all the emotions he was feeling right now. What was she even sorry for? Did she even know? These questions seemed to be hanging from his mouth but no sound escaped him. He clicked his tongue and turned away, pressing his palms against the table to try and calm down.

The silence kept going on and on, broken by NeKo's shy meow. Akane kept staring at Tetsurou, a little worriedly, a little hopefully… Even though she knew it was a fool's hope. Another meow from her cat and when Tetsurou still didn't react, she stood up, approaching her cat who was standing on the table.

NeKo chirped when she approached him, requesting caresses but she barely felt his fur under her hands. She was too much of a broken mess. A Beautiful Mess.

Tetsurou finally moved and despite his eyes still filled with too many feelings and hurt to keep up, even if it broke her heart all over again, Akane didn't have the courage to say anything… He sighed, looking away, as if disgusted by her but slowly… he stepped towards her and engulfed her in his arms.

Akane took in a deep, shaky breath, her eyes tearing up with burning tears. She loved this scent, she missed this warmth. She could feel his frenetic heartbeats into her chest and as she held onto him, knowing he wasn't forgiving her but couldn't help but pity her, she held onto the slightest bit of hope that their relationship, despite all its heartbreaks over the years, could still be fixed…

* * *

 _Please tell me what you thought._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


End file.
